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4th Wish
by Ed Howdershelt
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Science Fiction/Fantasy

Abintra Press
www.abintrapress.com

Copyright ©2008 by Ed Howdershelt

First published in 2008, 2008

NOTICE: This work is copyrighted. It is licensed only for use by the original purchaser. Making copies of this work or distributing it to any unauthorized person by any means, including without limit email, floppy disk, file transfer, paper print out, or any other method constitutes a violation of International copyright law and subjects the violator to severe fines or imprisonment.

4th Wish

Copyright©2008

by Ed Howdershelt

FW-08-11-20

Sometimes the website construction business is a little too good. I stepped away from my computer around three on a Thursday afternoon and tried to shake some feeling back into my mouse-arm, then went to make a fresh coffee and walk around a bit to get the numbness out of my legs.

All three of my cats were parked on the windowsill above the sink. Moocher and Charlie seemed fascinated by the antics of one of the local lizards, which was doing pushups on the side of a planter and fluffing out its red throat ruff. Winston, the matriarch of the group, faced away from the action. She gave me a look that told me both the lizard and its audience were beneath her notice.

After cobbling together my coffee, I checked the cat food dispenser and freshened their water, then wandered outside into a hot, sunny Central Florida day. Something about the quality of the light and the way I could see far up into the clouds reminded me of a day at the beach some years ago.

'Funny,' I thought, 'People spend big bucks to visit Florida and its beaches. I only live ten miles from a beach and haven't been out there in years.' After a sip of coffee, I mentally added a sardonic, 'Must be a reason.'

Yeah, there's a reason. This area is a retirement community and the nearest beach is a colossal bore. Scalding sunshine, too little parking, grandparents and their grandkids everywhere, and flat, waveless Gulf of Mexico water.

On the other hand ... nubile young beach bunnies with fine, solid legs and butt-floss bathing suits could be found a mere twenty miles south at Hudson Beach and ... what the hell ... I needed to be exposed to some sunlight. I needed to get out and walk for no reason, thinking thoughts above and beyond the Internet.

Going back into the house—and momentarily breathing a sigh of relief at the cool air within—I headed for the bedroom, changed into cutoff jeans and put a towel in my small green backpack, then headed for the car before some stray thought could change my mind.

Southbound traffic on US-19 was sparse; most of it was heading out of St. Pete and Clearwater, not into it. But the Hudson Beach parking lots were crammed, of course. Oh, well. I turned off the engine and waited for a parking space to open, sipping coffee and listening to Sarah Chang tickle Tchaikovsky's 35th out of her violin. Definitely the good stuff, played by a beautiful woman with a talent on a par with that of Itzhak Perlman.

A couple headed for a blue Beemer. Nosing in close to block anyone else's access to the area fairly completely, I shoved my car into the space as soon as they'd moved aside, stashed my CD player in the trunk, and headed for the beach, whistling the music that had filled the car so well.

That didn't last long. Pink's "Don't Let Me Get Me" blared from the bar/snack bar's speakers. Different good stuff. Pink's got a helluva sexy voice and she'd be gorgeous without all the tattoos and funky rags. Great legs, too, as seen in a video for the "Moulin Rouge" movie. I happily switched to whistling Pink's tunes as I doffed my sneaks and crossed the strand.

Flat water here, too. Not like the Atlantic side, where three-to-five-foot waves are normal. The Gulf side's more like a lake, with wavelets that lap the shoreline. Shrug. Still, it's salt water. Scanning the beach, I saw a big sign—big enough to read from fifty feet—that said, “NO T-BACK BATHING SUITS.”

Well, damn. The blue-nosed prigs are hard at work in Pasco County, too. No biggie; eyes and legs are my favorite female viewables. I looked around for the best concentration of such scenery and saw some beach bunnies clustered around the shaded bar. Good enough. I could handle a cold beer.

Heading toward the bar, I bashed my right big toe on something that barely budged on impact and nearly tripped me. After saying a few unkind words and checking my aching toe, I bent to uncover whatthehellever had assaulted my foot.

It was a Pinch booze bottle. No label and the exterior had been sandblasted to cloudy opaqueness by the elements, but the shape was distinctive. The bottle appeared empty, but was heavy as a brick. Holding it up to the sunlight, I tried to see what was in it. No luck. It still appeared empty. Pulling the stopper out, I looked inside, but saw nothing. Absolutely empty. Yet heavy as hell. Hmm. It was a curious thing, but I just wasn't interested enough to hang onto it.

There was a trash can near the bar. I tried to re-stopper the bottle as I walked, but the stopper didn't seem to fit anymore. Too much trouble to bother with. Sightseeing was what I had in mind. A distraction of female flesh and form to make me forget about the Internet code crap for a while. No more friggin’ puzzles today, please.

I trashed the bottle and stopper as I passed the can. As with the parking space, I had to stand by and wait for a barstool. At last, someone unassed a seat and I scooted in to grab it, then ordered a beer. Like I said, I like Pink's music. I hate rap and dislike whiny country, but otherwise, anything with a decent beat will do. Drumming my fingers on the bar, I tried not to be too blatant about eyeballing the nearby sun goddesses as I sipped my beer.

If a young guy leers—and they do, indiscriminately—the ladies think it's cute or cool and preen themselves or pose. If an older guy looks, it isn't always received well. I haven't figured that out, really. All guys look, and if that's all you're doing, what's the big deal? Besides, by the time we hit fifty, we only bother gazing at the really good stuff, so if an older guy eyeballs you, take it as a compliment.

After a cold beer, a short walk on the boardwalk and beach, and a return trip past the streetside shops later, I'd had enough sand and sun. I was ready to head home, clean up, feed myself, and see if there was some decent music at one of the local pubs. Just as I'd decided to visit Crabbit's Pub around eight, I heard a woman's rich contralto voice say, “Excuse me.”

I looked up from unlocking the driver's door to see the face and shoulders of a truly superb late-twenties specimen of brunette womanhood standing on the other side of my car. In her light-tan jacket and skirt outfit she was dressed more for an office than a beach. Wow! Tall. Beautiful. No, ‘gorgeous’ is a better word. Who did she kind of look like? Kate Vernon? Sort of? Lordy! Those eyes!

“Yes?” I managed to say when my eyes finally met hers. It seemed so inadequate. I'd wanted to say, “Yes, please,” or something very like it.

“We need to talk,” she said with an odd slight accent.

'Oh, hell,' I thought. Nothing puts a man on the defensive faster than a woman saying, 'We need to talk'. Automatically double your trepidation if you don't know her and triple it if you think she might work for any branch of the government.

I told myself to pull my tongue back in and be reasonably cautious. Twenty-something women who look like her aren't usually interested in over-fifty men who drive ten-year-old cars.

“Uhm, talk?” I asked, “About what, ma'am?”

Glancing around cautiously, she softly said, “I am in your debt. I must settle the matter with you properly.”

Debt? Settle? Properly? I felt like looking for the mothership. Or perhaps a hidden camera?

Looking her over again, I said, “Lady, I don't know you at all, and—trust me on this—I'd definitely remember a woman as beautiful as you for the rest of my life. Maybe longer. Just think a minute, okay? Are you sure you have the right guy?”

Smiling slightly, she nodded and rather firmly said, “Yes, I'm certain of that. You've done me a great service and now I must do something for you.”

With a vastly skeptical gaze, I said, “Uh, huh. Well, excuse me for asking, but would that 'something that you must do' later involve me paying you?”

After a moment, her gaze narrowed as she seemed to grasp my meaning. “No. You need pay me nothing. As I've said; I am in your debt.”

There was firm insistence in her tone. I took a quick glance around and didn't see any cameras pointed at me, but, then, cameras were always hidden on those insipid TV shows.

If she wasn't a hooker, maybe she was a con artist? Go somewhere to “talk", then have someone burst in claiming to be a husband and try to shake me down? Surely she could see I wasn't particularly rich.

I asked, “Exactly what am I supposed to have done for you?”

She lowered her eyes and said, “I think that would be better discussed in private.”

Uh, huh. Ducking a bit to look through the windows, I saw she had no purse. Flat pockets on her sleek jacket. No keys or pocketbook evident. Well-dressed otherwise, but away from home without a purse? Nope. Not bloody likely.

Shaking my head slightly, I said, “Like I said, ma'am, I don't know you. Sorry.” With a last glance at her lovely face, I added, “And I really kind of mean that. Goodbye.”

I opened my car door and got in, then started the car and zapped all the electric windows down halfway to let the heat out of the car until the air-conditioning could get up to speed. She tried the passenger door handle, but the door was locked.

Her hand reaching in to pull the door's lock knob up made me put the car in gear, but she didn't pull her arm out of the window. I started backing up. She still didn't pull her arm out. Instead, her arm seemed to turn into a colorful shadow of itself. The car's dashboard and windshield backed through her arm until her arm was on the outside of the windshield, apparently reaching through the hood of the car.

I stopped the car and stared in total disbelief as she grinningly moved her shadowy arm and hand back through the windshield and dashboard. When I looked at the woman beyond the shadowy arm, the rest of her also blurred slightly and she simply moved through the closed car door to take a seat in my car. As I sat wondering if I'd really seen what she'd done, she said, “We may leave now.”

Staring at her for a moment, I quietly asked, “How the hell did you do that?”

“That would be better discussed in private. Could we please leave this place now?”

“We aren't going anydamnwhere until I know who you are—and what you are—and why you want me to believe you owe me anything.”

A Ford honked at us and I let my car drift back into the parking space. The Ford driver swore at us as he drove by, obviously pissed that we hadn't left the space.

Looking at the woman, I said, “So, what's your story, lady?”

“You wish to talk here, in your vehicle?”

“No, I don't wish it. I demand it. At first I thought you might have me confused with someone else. Then I thought you might be a hooker. Now I don't know what the hell to think.”

“What is a hooker?”

Huh? Who speaks English and doesn't know what a hooker is? But her question sounded completely genuine.

“Jesus, lady, where are you from?”

She shook her head slightly and seemed absolutely serious as she said, “I'm not allowed to tell you that.”

My hands rose in an ‘oh, of course not!’ gesture of frustration and slapped the steering wheel. The woman startled and her gaze turned to a rather stark glare.

“Sorry,” I said. “I didn't mean to scare you. In fact, it never even occurred to me that I could scare someone who can reach through a car hood. How the hell did you do that? No, wait. First tell me your name. I'm Ed.”

“Ed,” she repeated carefully. “I'm ... Jaline.”

“You don't sound too sure about that.”

Less tentatively, she said, “That name will do. I am a Jinn.”

“A Jinn. You mean a genie?”

With one eyebrow raised at me, she repeated, “A Jinn.”

“Uh, huh. But you know what a genie is, right?”

“Yes. It's a mistranslation of Jinn.”

Looking her over again, I said, “Well, by God, you looked magical enough to me even before you sat down through a closed car door.” Meeting her gaze, I said, “But I'm not a big believer in magic. I believe even less in wishing for things. So you're saying that you were in that bottle I found?”

Jaline nodded. “Yes. I've been in that bottle since 1917.”

“So where'd you get that outfit? Why aren't you wearing something from way back then?”

“There was a newspaper in the trash container. I read it to find out where and when I'd materialized, then I reviewed the advertisements and created appropriate attire.”

“Uh, huh. You'll understand if I find this hard to believe.”

Sighing, she said, “It's ever so with mortals. On many occasions, 'How did you fit into that bottle?' has been one of their first questions.”

I shrugged and grinned as I said, “No problem. Magic.”

Giving me a sharp glance, she said, “You just said you don't believe in magic.”

Grinning, I said, “It was a joke, Jaline. I say the same thing about how computers and their programs work. It usually saves having to try to explain things to newbies.”

“New-bees?” she drew the word out a bit. “That word wasn't in the newspaper.”

“Newbies,” I said. “People who are new to computing, for instance.”

“I see. You have a rather cavalier attitude concerning something you don't seem to understand at all.”

“Yeah? You're sitting in an air-conditioned car, ma'am. They didn't have those in 1917. They didn't have computers, either, but you haven't asked me what a computer is. Seems to me that someone who hasn't been out of her bottle for close to a century ought to have more than a few questions, too.”

Giving me that raised eyebrow again, she said, “Computers were mentioned in the paper, as was air-conditioning. I do have some questions, but there will be time enough to learn what I wish to know about this era once I'm fully released from my debt to you.”

“Back to that, huh?”

“Yes. I must grant you three wishes. I may not leave your presence until I've satisfied my debt. May I suggest we retire to your home and discuss...”

I interrupted, “Oh, no. Huh-uh. Nope. My girlfriend wouldn't react well if I brought you home and we only have a few more days together before she leaves for Tallahassee.”

Looking a bit surprised, Jaline asked, “She's leaving you?”

“Yeah. She'll be going to school there.”

Jaline's eyes got big as she asked in a shocked tone, “She's a mere schoolgirl?”

“Hey! Don't look at me like that! She's thirty-three!”

Her startlement changed to suspicion. “How can a woman that age still be in school?”

“She just is. Ma'am, I don't buy your story and I can't take you home with me. Now hop out. See ya. Bye.”

My tone and words obviously irritated her. Jaline sat stiffly staring forward for some moments, then said, “I'm required to remain with you until I've completed my service.”

“You can't stay with me.”

“Until I grant your wishes, I must.”

“Yeah, right, the wishes. Three, you said?”

“Yes. Three.”

Studying the woman next to me, I considered a few things. She'd ghosted into my car through a closed door. Illusion or not, that was a helluva trick. It suddenly occurred to me that some genie stories didn't end very well for the bottle-opener; either the wishes backfired or the genie simply killed him. The stories had made me think dealing with genies was like dealing with devils, a chancy proposition at best. Well, if she was real, at least she hadn't killed me. Yet.

I said, “Suppose I believed you for a minute, Jaline. If I wished for world-wide peace, what would happen?”

Her eyes narrowed slightly, but she matter-of-factly said, “If that were your wish, I'd have to grant it.”

“Uh, huh. And how would you do that?”

With a wry look, she said, “Through magic, of course.”

Shaking my head, I said, “No, I mean ... how would you change people so they'd go along with a peace program?”

“I'd rather not discuss that.”

“I'd rather you would. Tell me anyway.”

Her eyes met mine. “If you wish it.”

Again shaking my head, I sat back and looked at her. “And if you're for real, I'd only have two wishes left.”

She didn't answer.

“Jaline, may I ask why you can't simply talk to me about these things?”

With a little shrug, she said, “Yes.”

“Well?”

Smiling slightly, she said, “You only asked if you could ask.”

Looking abashed, I smiled and said, “Oh, right. So I did,” then I said, “Game's over. Get out of my car.”

“I may not leave until...”

I said rather flatly, “Shut up and get out or I'll call a cop.”

She shook her head and seemed to anchor herself to the car seat. “I can't.”

Opening my door, I said, “I'll do it, lady. I'll call the cops. I'm not kidding around.”

“I can't leave you until I've granted your wishes.”

That was enough for me. I saw a pay phone by the restaurant door, got out of the car, and headed for it. Ten paces along, I glanced back at the car, saw no brunette in the passenger seat, and stopped to look around. Jaline—or whomever, or whatever—was nowhere in sight. I almost relaxed, then I felt a presence behind me and turned to see Jaline standing not three feet away. I didn't bother asking how she'd got around me.

Keeping her in sight, I backed toward the car. She moved to follow me. I scampered around the car and opened the door, never taking my eyes off her as I got in and started the engine. Putting the car in reverse, I scooted out of the space and quickly backed up toward the lot entrance.

Jaline stood on the sidewalk by the space and watched me go for a moment, then she simply disappeared; there one second and gone the next. I stopped the car and stared. A car honked behind me. I ignored it.

Then Jaline reappeared on the seat next to me, looking straight ahead with her hands together in her lap. The car behind me honked again, then another car honked. With a sense of resignation, I let off the brake and we headed for the parking lot's exit.

With a small smile, Jaline said quietly, “Oh, good. We're finally moving. Does that mean that you believe me now?”

Pulling my seat belt into place before we reached the street, I buckled it and said, “Buckle your seat belt. If we get stopped, the fine is one-eighty-five.”

She examined the shoulder belt as she pulled it across herself, then fastened it as she asked, “Will you make your wishes soon?”

“Not until I know a bit more about the process.”

“What don't you understand? Make wishes. I'll grant them.”

“Yeah, well, I'm kind of worried about the aftermath, lady. Most of the stories I've read about genies ended rather unhappily. I'm wondering how—and why—someone put you in that bottle, too. Until I know a lot more about you, I won't be making any wishes, so if you want to hurry things along, you'll answer my questions and do your best to make me comfortable about you.”

After a moment of silence, she softly said, “I see. Do you mean ‘comfortable’ in the ways that other men have so often demanded of me?”

I took my eyes off the traffic long enough to glance at her, then said, “Zap yourself up a chastity belt if you want. Are you really a woman, or did you just make yourself look like one because a man found your bottle?”

“I was created female.”

“Are there others like you?”

“Yes.”

“What'll you do when you're free of me?”

Turning to look at me for a moment, she said, “That is none of your concern.”

“It is if you want to be free of me anytime soon. If you're really what you say you are, letting something like you run loose in the world could be a big mistake.”

Jaline glanced sharply at me and said, “I can't tell you.”

“Why not?”

“I'm not allowed to reveal such things to mortals.”

Sighing, I said, “Again with that 'not allowed' stuff. Gee, how very damned convenient.”

Her voice was almost strident as she again turned to me and said, “I'm not lying to you. That isn't allowed, either.”

I chuckled, “For which I have only your word, of course. Very reassuring. But if it's true, it seems to me that someone put a lot of fences around you, ma'am. That makes me wonder why, but I'll bet your answer would be, 'I'm not allowed to tell you'. Right?”

With an outright glare, she softly, tensely said, “Yes.”

Shaking my head with a small laugh, I said, “You ‘creatures of magic’ types must have a helluva union. What'll happen if you tell me something I'm not supposed to know?”

“I'd rather not say.”

I grinningly exclaimed, “Whooo! All right! Finally something other than 'I'm not allowed to tell you'! Major progress! Hey, can you disappear and stay that way? Invisible?”

Smiling slightly, she replied, “Yes. Is it your wish that I become invisible?”

“Nope. It's part of your ticket to freedom, ma'am; part of the 'cooperation' thing I mentioned before. Work with me on this, ‘cause if you hurt my girlfriend by making her think I've already replaced her, you'll be waiting for me to make wishes for a long damned time. No silly games. Just do it. Once Selena's gone, you can pop back in and we'll square this thing away. It'll only be for a few days, okay?”

After a moment of gazing at me almost studiously, Jaline nodded, said, “Yes,” and vanished, though I saw her seat belts still hugging her hips and chest.

“Thank you,” I said. “Now, do you eat or drink? I mean, do you have to? I don't want you to starve or dehydrate or whatever.”

“No,” she said, “I don't have to eat or drink.”

“Great. I'm not interested in making you suffer, y'know.”

Her tone was wry as she said, “Thank you so very much.”

Pulling in at a convenience store, I went inside and bought two Creamsicles and two cold cans of sweetened tea. When I got back in the car, I handed Jaline one of each.

“Here, Jaline. Try these.”

The clerk was looking out at me as she took the two items. I saw his eyes narrow as the wrapper apparently peeled itself away from Jaline's ice cream.

“Uh, Jaline, could you make the ice cream and tea invisible, too? We have an audience, and...” The items disappeared before I could finish the sentence.

“Thanks,” I said. “How do you like that Creamsicle? I don't think they had those back in 1917.”

Around a bite of it, she slurred, “Zhey ditn't. Umm. It'sh ferry good.”

“I think you'll like the tea, too.”

I felt a slight motion and realized that—even though I couldn't see her doing it—she had turned to look at me as she asked, “May I ask why you're suddenly being nice to me?”

I shrugged and asked, “You're cooperating, right?”

After a moment she said, “Yes. I am.”

“Then I have no reason to be difficult with you, whether all of this is for real or not. If it is real, all I want to do is get through it without any consequences.”

“Consequences?”

“Yeah. In one story I read, the genie thanked the guy for freeing him, then tore him apart because he was human and a human had bottled him up. Psychotic stuff like that. Or like when another guy wished for a king's ransom in gold. The genie made the gold fall out of the sky on him. Killed him with it. And then there's the guy who wished to sit on the throne of his country.” Waving a hand dramatically, I said, “Poof. Done. He was suddenly sitting in the king's chair. The king's guards just as suddenly dragged him out of it and killed him. Want more?”

Jaline giggled. “Poof?”

“Yeah, poof,” I said around some ice cream. “You know; a puff of smoke or a flash of light and zap, one dead bottle-opener. No thanks. Hey, are the wishes transferable? Could I donate them to charity?”

“No. You freed me. Only you may make your wishes.”

“Figures. It was just a thought.”

She giggled again. “Would you feel better if I told you that I have no intention of killing you?”

“Oh, a little, yeah, but you might say that anyway. Want to hear about a bottle-opener who didn't get killed?”

In a sardonic tone, she asked, “Oh, you actually know of one of those, as well?”

“Sure. Three guys were shipwrecked on an island. Food and water were in short supply and they didn't get along well. One found a bottle and let a genie out of it. He wished to be back in his hometown. Poof, done. He wished for great wealth. Poof, done. In his excitement, he yelled, 'Boy, I wish those other two jerks could see me now!' Poof, done. He was back on the island with them, holding an empty bottle.”

There was absolute silence for a long moment, then a snicker that turned into a giggle that turned into a chortling laugh.

Sipping my tea, I tossed my Creamsicle wrapper in the trash bag that hangs on the radio tuner knob and said, “Augustus Claudius said, 'Be wary of gifts from the gods.' Glancing in the direction of my unseen passenger, I said, “I think that probably applies to goddesses, too.”

“I'm not a goddess. I'm a Jinn.”

Reaching to strum the taut seat belt on her side of the car, I said, “Yeah, well, the difference isn't readily apparent to me, ma'am. Of course, neither are you at the moment.”

I heard the pop-hiss as she opened her tea, then nothing more for a time until she snickered again and said, “Thank you. I haven't had a reason to laugh for a long time.”

“You're welcome. Question: Why haven't genies taken over the world?”

Slightly muffled by ice cream, her answer was, “I can only speak for myself. I don't want to take over the world.”

“Is there anything you do want?”

She instantly replied, “My freedom.”

“Beyond that,” I shot back.

“I need nothing beyond that.”

Shrugging, I said, “Well, then, I hereby declare you to be free.”

“You can't do that. As I told you, I must...”

Sighing loudly to interrupt her, I gave her an exasperated look.

After a moment, she quietly said, “A greater power has decreed it.”

“What greater power? Who? Where? How do I file a complaint?”

“I'm not allowed to...”

With a minor curse and a swat at the steering wheel, I said, “Yeah, yeah, all that.”

I put my empty tea can in the trash bag and started the car, then headed us back out on US-19. Silence reigned for some time before something occurred to me.

“Jaline, can you assure me that nothing terrible will happen to me if I make a wish?” As an afterthought, I added, “And just to be clear about that, I mean the sorts of things that I would consider terrible.”

“Of course I can, but would you believe me?”

“Well, probably not at this very moment, I guess. I've been trying to figure out how someone could make you get into that bottle, and about all I can come up with is; he or she used the third wish. Probably to try to get more wishes.”

I half-expected her to remain silent, really. Or even to deny it, but she didn't.

“That's precisely what he did,” she said. “He thought I'd have to grant him three more wishes.”

“But that's not the way things work, is it?”

“No. I tried very hard to convince him of that before he wished me back into the bottle, but...” her words trailed away.

“What happened? Why didn't he let you out again?”

After a few long moments, Jaline said, “He became afraid that I would kill him for reconfining me.” Pausing for a heartbeat or so, she added, “He was wrong. I'd have killed him for what he made me do to his people.”

Considering her words and tone for a moment, I said, “That probably means he did something that left some kind of a mark in history. Who was he?”

“His name was Vladimir Ilyich Ulyanov Lenin. Nicolai, to the gullible fools who believed they were his friends. He found my bottle in a cave when he and three of his followers sought refuge from the Tsar's men.”

In minor amazement, I muttered, “Well, Holy Shit, Batman! He's the guy who barfed up the Russian Revolution and made a third of the world Communist. That's why 1917 had such a familiar ring.” Turning to Jaline, I asked, “You're saying he made you make that happen?”

She nodded. “Yes, through the manipulation of the minds of a great many other people. That's why I so poorly received your question about a wish for world peace. He used similar words quite often.”

I shook my head. “Yeah, I've heard some of that rhetoric. Most of it was pretty lame, but there are still people who parrot it and believe in it.” After a moment, I said, “But I'd just like to see people to be able to get along with each other for a change, Jaline; to learn some real global management skills, to get rid of their stupidities, and to stop blowing each other up.”

“Exactly how would you like me to accomplish that goal, Ed? How would you have me 'adjust' humanity to that end?”

With a grin, I said, “Um. Yeah. Good question. Tell ya what; maybe we'll come back to that idea some other time. You sound as if you actually care what happens to people. Why?”

“I don't wish humanity any harm. Does that surprise you?”

“Maybe a little. After being locked up for a while, a lot of people would turn mean—a poor comparison, maybe, since you aren't human—and with your kind of power ... Huh. Never mind. A lot of people get like that without being locked up.”

The trash bag jostled as Jaline said rather dryly, “I've noticed that, too,” and her Creamsicle wrapper and tea can appeared in the bag.

As I made the turn onto Northcliffe Boulevard, I asked, “How did you come to be locked in a jug in the first place? Or on Earth, for that matter? Was it a vacation that didn't work out well? Did you piss someone off to get sent here?”

With a sigh, she said, “I can't tell you those things, Ed.”

“Thought you might say that. Jaline, I have to be able to trust you, at least a little. I want to know why you're here on Earth and how you came to be here before I turn something as powerful as you loose on the world. I won't wish you back into that bottle if you don't tell me, but like I said, it could be a damned long time before you get any wishes out of me.”

She sat silent the full three minutes to Commodore Avenue and my driveway. Selena's blue Ford was parked on the swale in front of my house. I pointed at it and said, “Selena's here. Pretend you don't exist until she's gone, okay?”

“You've already instructed me about her and I agreed.”

“Yeah, but I just want to be sure. She's one of the nicer people I've known and I don't want her last days with me to turn sour. Um ... Does your sticking around mean that we won't have any privacy?”

“I need only be where I can be summoned conveniently.”

“So ... Okay, I guess. Remember how I knew you were behind me on the sidewalk at the restaurant? I'll probably know if you're in the room, too.”

“You sound very sure of that.”

“Lots of practice, ma'am. Experiences in nasty places. Yes, I'm fairly sure of it.”

A thought occurred to me and I asked, “Is sticking so close to me just a means of pressuring me to hurry up and make the wishes? I have a feeling you could be on the other side of the world and hear me if I called you.”

With rich, soft laughter, she said, “Yes. I could.”

“Then how about going sightseeing for a few days, ma'am? Go see what's new in the world since 1917. Something like that. I won't disappear in the next three days. Besides, I think you could probably find me if I did.”

“If something happened to you during my absence, I'd be unable to fulfill my debt.”

“If something happened to me, the debt would end.”

“No, it wouldn't. I'd be trapped here.”

Unable to think of a counter to that, I muttered, “Well, that really sucks.”

“What?”

“Just an expression. I think it's unfair. If I die, why should you be stuck here?”

Sighing, she said, “It's the way of things.”

Selena's face appeared in my kitchen window. She undoubtedly wondered why I hadn't gotten out of the car and I didn't want her to see me talking to thin air, so I said, “Oops. Gotta go now,” and got out of the car.

At the door I glanced back at the car and saw exactly what I'd expected; nothing. Selena opened the front door and I went in. She pulled me into a hug and a kiss as usual, but I realized something was amiss. No cats surrounded our ankles. I looked in the kitchen and saw all three cats with their noses to the window screen, vastly interested in whatever was outside. Following their unwavering gazes, I realized they weren't watching a lizard; their faces were focused on apparently nothing at a spot more than five feet above the front porch. Moocher stood up and preened as he always did when someone new was around.

“Ed?” asked Selena.

“Yes'm? I was just wondering what they were staring at.”

She looked where I had and said, “There's nothing out there. Cats just like to mess with our heads now and then.”

Kissing her again, I asked, “Did you decide to skip your going-away party tonight?”

“Cathy rescheduled it for this afternoon to surprise me. I hate surprises. When I got wind of it I went home around noon, caught her in the act, and turned it into a pizza party.” Hugging me again, she said, “I slipped out at four. I wanted to be here.” With a little grin, she added, “I do hope I haven't inconvenienced you, sir.”

“Oh, not at all, milady. I thought you might pull something like this, so I tossed my other four girlfriends out before three, just in case.”

She laughed, “Good thinking,” pointed at two pizza boxes on the stove, and said, “Dinner is served.”

We attacked the pizza and washed it down with Ice House beer at the kitchen table. Both of us noticed that the cats seemed very interested in an area by the kitchen sink and Selena speculated there must be something in the cabinet.

When Selena went to the bathroom, I whispered, “Jaline.”

From somewhere by the sink came her quiet, “Yes?”

“Grab a beer and some pizza and take it to the back porch if you want.”

“Oh, are you feeling sorry for me now?”

“No, but I'm feeling somewhat guilty because I can't invite you to join us.”

She snickered softly. “At least you're honest about it.” With a wistful tone to her voice, she said, “I'd love to be included, even in such a very modest way, but...”

I sighed and said, “Oh, hell, lady. Just do it or don't. All you'll miss is pizza and beer, and they'll be available later.”

She didn't even open the fridge door. I heard the muffled clink of bottles inside the fridge, then the soft hiss of a bottle opening a couple of feet away. A bottle cap landed in the trash and two of the pizza slices disappeared, then all the cats traveled in a loose cluster to the sliding glass porch doors, which opened slightly for them and closed after them.

Some moments later, Selena returned and asked, “I thought I heard the porch doors. Did you go out?”

“Nope. They did.” I thumbed at the cats nibbling pizza bits on the porch table.

Selena sat down and went back to work on her own pizza. Out of sight was out of mind; the topic of conversation shifted from my cats to other things fairly quickly.

Dinner. Drinks. Talk. Dancing in the living room to the kinds of music that allow you to hold your partner in your arms. Long showers with lots of soap and play. The bedroom. Sadness about soon being so far apart. Gladness to have the whole weekend before she had to leave. Promises to visit each other on long weekends and call frequently.

In other words, just like all the other times. Anna, Kim, Beverly, Brenda. Marsha, Susan, Linda ... I had no illusions; the calls and visits would decrease over time and finally cease. She'd find a guy in Tallahassee and I'd find a woman a bit closer to home. With only a few small variations, the fond reenactment continued until sleep overcame us.

Odd, soft noises from the living room woke me around four in the morning. I went quietly out there and looked around in the dim glow from the night-lights. At first I saw nothing, then I noticed the third volume of my ten-year-old encyclopedia floating open before the bookcase. I left Jaline to her reading and went back to bed.

Monday morning arrived much too soon. I made us a fairly elaborate late breakfast, then we postponed Selena's departure by two more hours with another visit to the bedroom and a last shower together. It seemed to me that an era of goodness had ended when Selena tearfully drove away.

“Ed,” said Jaline from perhaps two feet to my left.

I looked that direction and thankfully saw nothing. “Hi, Jaline. She's gone, but please stay invisible outside the house for now. The neighbors can be pretty nosy.”

“A woman who truly loved you wouldn't leave you, Ed. Not for any reason.”

Turning to go back into the house, I said, “She would if she found herself needing children more than me, Jaline.”

“But if you wished it, you could be healed...”

With a horrified look, I stepped back and said, “Whoa! Hell, no, lady! Don't even think about it. I paid good money to get fixed in ‘71, and that was back when the dollar was still worth something. I've been real happy as a practice toy.”

Her gaze narrowed at my tone and words. She said, “It is written that a man who has no children has no future.”

“Yeah? At my age, the future is a helluva lot less important than it used to be. C'mon, let's go back inside and start talking about your situation.”

Jaline's tone was kind of sharp as she asked, “My situation? You said that as if it wasn't also your situation, Ed.”

“Hm. So I did. Well, ma'am, you're the one who said she'll be trapped here if I die. Same if I don't make three wishes, I figure. Since I got by without wishes before I found you, I could probably keep on getting by without ‘em, so I'd say if anyone here has a ‘situation', it's you. Let's go in, get some coffee, and see what we can do to solve your problem.”

A small grey cloud formed some ten feet above the ground. As it quickly grew to about six feet in diameter, it turned very dark and lightning laced it with actinic flashes.

Heading for the house, I said, “Cute trick, but it won't help to get all fuzzed up, ma'am. My first wish could be that you couldn't ever directly harm or harass me or anyone else—or indirectly cause me or anyone else to be harmed or harassed—in any manner whatsoever. How do you like your coffee?”

She didn't answer as I held the door for her. When I turned around from closing it, Jaline stood in the kitchen. She glanced at the table, and—without so much as a blink—a rather elaborate silver samovar on a tray popped into being. One of the tiny cups turned rightside up and became steamingly full.

Sitting at the table and picking up the cup, she said, “This is how I like my coffee.”

Admiring the samovar, I replied, “Very nice. Is that the Arabic stuff that's stronger than French espresso?”

“Of course.”

“Well, no offense, then, but I'll make my own. I like bigger cups and I've gotten used to instant coffee.” My last two words struck me funny and I laughed shortly.

Jaline's gaze narrowed at me.

“Instant coffee,” I said, indicating her samovar. “You just gave me a whole new meaning for the term.”

In a flat, cool tone, she said, “Oh. I see.”

Sighing as I spun the lid off my coffee jar, I tapped some coffee into my mug and said, “We're here to talk about fixing things, milady. You want me to go find something else to do until you're in a better mood?”

Also sighing, Jaline rested her chin in a palm and said, “No, I suppose not.”

“Then let's get down to it. Will providing me wealth in any form cost you anything in any way? Energy or whatever it is you run on?”

“No. Magic is like an unending river to those who can use it.”

Perhaps sensing the change in Jaline's mood, the cats began to appear. Winston cautiously entered the kitchen, then Charlie followed her.

As they investigated Jaline in her visible form, I asked, “Could I be made able to use magic?”

Shaking her head as she stroked the cats, Jaline said, “That is not allowed.”

“Well, damn. Okay, onward, then. If I asked you to supply me with fifty pounds of raw diamonds—each diamond of a size and type that could be cut into a flawless, one-carat finished stone according to existing standards—could you do it?”

She nodded as she smiled slightly and said, “Of course.”

“They wouldn't disappear or turn into something else or wind up out of my reach when I let you go, would they?”

Jaline snickered and said, “No.”

Grinning back, I said, “Had to ask, ma'am. Would you create them yourself or dig them out of the ground?”

Moocher came in for a share of attention as she said, “Whichever you wish.”

“I think I'd prefer that you create them yourself.”

“Are the diamonds your first wish?”

“Nope. They'll be my second wish.”

Her eyebrow went up. “What's your first?”

I took a deep breath and said, “Jaline, you're far too powerful and you have some human temperaments. I just can't blindly trust that you'll never get pissed about something and wipe out the world, so my first wish is the one that I mentioned earlier ... that you can't ever directly harm or harass me or anyone else—or indirectly cause me or anyone else to be harmed or harassed—in any manner, except as necessary for self-defense or defense of someone else.”

“Done,” she said with a grin, “That was a wasted wish, by the way. Well considered, but wholly unnecessary.”

As Moocher stood on a chair to sniffingly investigate the samovar, I said, “Glad to hear it, but better safe than sorry. Would you make the diamonds appear in a backpack like the one you've seen me carry? I don't want them to become cat toys.” I gestured at Moocher and Winston, who had also become curious about the samovar.

When the backpack appeared smack in the middle of the table, it displaced air with a popping sound and a slight breeze. Both cats jumped a few feet and wound up on the floor. Winston landed in combat mode and Moocher looked at me for reassurance.

“No problem, Moochie,” I said, heaving the bag to the floor and shoving it out of the way against the cabinets. Patting the bag, I said, “It's just a plain old thing, see?”

All three cats cautiously edged their way closer to the bag as I put a hand on Jaline's shoulder and said, “Thank you very much, Jaline. I have some plans and ideas for some of those diamonds.”

Her brows furrowed and she seemed somewhat startled and puzzled as I sat down and picked up my coffee.

“Don't you want to see your diamonds?”

Sipping my coffee, then shaking my head, I said, “Nope. Seen ‘em before in Africa. They don't look very special at all before they've been cut and polished. ‘Course, the people who buy them from me may not feel that way. I'll sell a few quietly now and then and stash the others.”

“But...” She glanced at the bag again, then returned her gaze to me as she said, “Never mind. Are you ready to make your third wish?”

“Gimme a minute. I'm still putting it together. Did you make it all the way through the encyclopedia over the weekend?”

With a somewhat miffed expression, she rather stiffly stated, “Of course.”

“Well, then, you know what ‘telekinesis’ is. That's part one of wish three. I'd like to be able to move things with my mind. To make them move fairly fast, too. And, in case I wanted to hop over to Europe for a weekend, I'd need to be able to move myself safely at high speeds. How could you grant me that?”

She shrugged. “I'd give you the ability to apply variations of the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle. You'd be able to redirect field energies in order to move matter at virtually any speed and to create a protective field around it or yourself. I'll instil knowledge of use with the ability, but using it safely will still require considerable practice.”

Chuckling, I said, “Oh, I don't doubt that at all, ma'am. Not at all. Great, then, we'll make all that part of my wish. I'm also thinking about my health, Jaline. Can you reverse my physical years to age thirty and set my body to remain in perfect health at that age indefinitely?”

“Yes, I can roll back your years and give you perfect health. No, I can't lock your body at that age. You'll begin aging normally from that point.”

“In that case, make it twenty-five. Will you do it without affecting my mind as it is at this moment? No memory losses or scrambling?”

“Yes.”

“Are there any other caveats I should know about?”

“I can't think of any.”

I nodded. “Can you extend the reversal of age and perfect health part of the wish to include my immediate family and friends? Back ‘em all down to twenty-five?” I picked up Winston and added, “And my cats? Would you make them each about a year old, physically?”

In a tone that said that I was beginning to bug her with my unending details, she said, “Yes.”

“Then we'll add that in, too. Now for the last part of my third wish. After irrevocably granting my other conditions of this wish, you'll accept your emancipation from whatever bondage made me your temporary master. I won't include that you must never again allow anyone to confine or control you unless you ask me to add that into my wish.”

Both of her eyebrows went up at that. After a moment, Jaline smiled and said softly, “I'd prefer that you not include that in your wish. Perhaps you're smarter than I thought.”

I returned her smile and said, “No human I've ever heard of could confine or contain someone like you without your cooperation, milady. Why do you do it?”

Studying her coffee, she said, “I ... I can't tell you that.”

“More rules, or just plain ol’ unwillingness?”

Her eyes rose to meet mine. “Both.”

Patting Winston, I grinningly said, “See, Winston? Give a genie her freedom and she gets all uppity.” Winston gave me an ear-flick equivalent of 'shut up and pet me'.

There was a lull in conversation as we sipped our coffees. Just as it occurred to me that I'd never seen any reference to a Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle outside a science fiction paperback, I had a sudden revelation. It was as if someone had flipped a switch inside my head. Complete understanding flooded my mind.

I had to try it. My gaze fell upon the diamond bag. I envisioned it sitting by the kitchen door and it disappeared, then reappeared by the kitchen door. In more or less complete shock, I softly muttered, "Well, damn! It really works!"

Jaline smiled at my expression. I envisioned the bag on the kitchen counter. It disappeared and reappeared there. The new knowledge in my head told me how to suspend it in mid-air and I tried that, too, which made the cats extremely nervous. They stared hard at the floating bag until I set it on the floor.

Looking at my reflection in the microwave's window, I searched for changes to my face and saw none. Examining my left hand for signs of returning youth, I began to ask Jaline when I'd begin to look and feel younger, but she anticipated my questions.

“Your body—and those of the others you included in your wish—will be adjusted gradually over the next week or so, Ed. Changing physiologies too quickly causes considerable pain. Those who aren't aware of your wish could also experience serious mental distress.” With a grin, she added, “Will you contact them or allow the changes to be a complete surprise?”

Grinning back at her, I said, “I'll call my mother in a day or two and let her know what to expect. She'll probably think I'm a little crazy, but by then she may have noticed changes. I'll call my sisters after I talk to her. It might comfort them to know that they won't regress back to zero.”

Chuckling, Jaline asked, “What about Selena?”

“She's only in her thirties, so the changes won't be as noticeable. I'll give her a few days to get organized in Tallahassee, then call her if she hasn't called me in the meantime. Should be interesting, either way. If I'm all set, what are your plans now, Jaline? Are you in a great big hurry to hit the road?”

As Moocher stood on the chair by Jaline's and preened under her hands, she asked, “Hit the road? You mean to leave?”

“Yes'm. You don't have to, you know. You're very welcome to use Selena's room and stay a while. You'd get free use of the cats, too. Especially that one.”

Moocher's loud purr as she petted him made her chuckle softly. Jaline ruffled his chin fuzz for a time, then sighed.

“I don't know,” she said. “I'll have to ... I'll want to check with some ... people.”

Shrugging, I said, “Well, the room's yours if you want it.”

She seemed thoughtful for some moments.

“How long is ‘a while’ to you, Ed?”

“As long as it turns out to be, Jaline. I don't really believe you need a room, y'know, but it's about all I can offer you. That and company. The wishes are done. Now it would just be a matter of being with someone who wouldn't try to make you do things; who wouldn't try to control you.” Sipping my coffee, I added, “And everybody should have at least one person in his or her life who doesn't want a damned thing from them except a bit of friendly company. If you don't feel right about staying—or can't stay, for whatever reason—or if you stay a while, then leave, you could still visit now and then. I'd like that a lot.” Gesturing at the cats, I said, “We'd like that.”

Jaline set Moocher on the other chair and stood up as she softly said, “Ed, I'm almost six thousand years old. You're a little young for me.”

Grinning, I said, “Oh, gee, let me try to dig up something witty. 'You don't look a day over four thousand, ma'am!'”

“How cute,” she said dryly, but with a smirk of her own.

“Big numbers don't scare me, milady. You're smart and you're gorgeous and I'd be honored to share your company.”

Mock-sighing exasperation, she said, “You can stop now.”

Taking her hand, I said, “Oh, only if you wish it, milady,” and gave her time to chuckle again before I said, “But be warned; if you decide to stay, you'll probably be hearing things like that fairly often.”

She tilted her head slightly and wryly asked, “What happened to not wanting anything from me?”

“All right; amend that to 'nothing that you won't willingly offer'. How's that? If you don't offer, that won't make you any less welcome.”

“Won't having me here somewhat cripple your chances of finding another girlfriend?”

I shrugged. “Oh, sure, but probably not forever. You'd get tired of all the compliments sooner or later.”

Laughing, Jaline asked, “What if I didn't?”

“No biggie. We'd figure something out. Besides, don't you want to stay and watch me figure out how to use my new talents? That might be pretty funny at times.”

Moocher didn't like being ignored. Standing on the edge of the chair's seat, he leaned as far as possible toward Jaline's dangling right hand and teetered there precariously, trying to make contact. When his paw touched her hand, Jaline startled slightly and Mooch lost his balance, toppling forward.

He fell a few inches before floating upward and into Jaline's arms, where his loud, happy purring began immediately. Jaline chuckled and stroked Mooch for a few moments in silence, then looked up at me and smiled.

“Okay. You've convinced me. I'll stay for a while, Ed.” She raised an emphatic index finger and said, “But it will be a while as I choose to define it; no longer than that.”

Grinning at her, I said, “Jaline, I'll bet one of the diamonds in that bag that your definition of ‘a while’ won't be long enough to suit me.” Nodding at Moocher, who was nuzzling her chin with his face, I added, “Us, that is.”

End 4th Wish

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