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CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

FROM CAPTURED HISTORY TAPES,
FILE 1846583A ca. 1832 a.d.
BUT CONCERNING EVENTS OF UP TO
2000 YEARS EARLIER

Buying the Mitchegai Way 

Bronki gave Dol very specific instructions about precisely what they should do in the afternoon, and exactly where they should go and who they should speak to. Then she left to attend to other business of her own.

"Our first stop is the College of Business," Dol said.

They went to a large, impressive complex consisting of four rectangular buildings set around a central square with a large, ornate watering fountain. A large symbol of the Ke adorned every side of every building, the same ancient symbol that is found on every bit of currency throughout all of Mitchegai space.

"It is very attractive," Kren said.

"It is good that you like it. You'll be spending much of your time for the next five years here, assuming, that is, that you don't wash out."

There was a short line at the registrar's office, and when they got to the front of it, the clerk started by checking Kren's credit card for how much money he had in the bank, and then deducting three semesters' tuition from it. He was informed that if he failed the course, or if he failed to qualify for admission, there would be no refunds.

Dol told her that Kren was here on a scholarship, and that he would require a receipt. After some grumbling, she gave them one, and then spent some time changing things on her computer before seeing the next applicant.

Kren was then escorted to a testing room, while Dol waited outside. An hour later, Kren came out with a dazed expression on his face, and the two of them went to see an academic advisor.

"Kren, you have a most unusual profile. You are very proficient in three languages, including the academic language of Keno, and the business language of Neno, which are both extremely helpful. Also, you know the military language of Meno, which isn't used much around here. In addition, you have a smattering of four others, besides Deno, of course."

Among the Mitchegai, languages are not distributed geographically, as they are among a young race like the humans. Rather, they differ according to the occupation of the individual in question. Soldiers speak quite a different language than do engineers, for example. Among soldiers, the word for "foreigner" also means "enemy" and "evil," and they have no words to describe thermal equilibrium.

All Mitchegai also speak Deno, a simplified sort of pidgin that permits them to buy and sell with other professions, but not to truly communicate with them.

The advisor continued, "You know quite a bit about anatomy. Your math scores go right over the top, better than anything I've ever seen before in an undergraduate. But you are woefully substandard in everything else. Tell me, why did you choose the College of Business, anyway? Why not the College of Languages, or the College of Mathematics?"

"Why should I study subjects in which I am already proficient?" Kren said, "I chose to study business because I would like to become rich."

"Wouldn't we all? But I really don't see how I could recommend you to the College of Business with these test scores."

Dol said, "Please excuse me, but did you know that Kren has been personally granted a scholarship by the director of athletics?"

"The director of athletics?" The advisor's voice squeaked. "Well, that, of course changes everything! You really should have told me that earlier! Kren, I am delighted to welcome you to the College of Business! Of course, there will be certain remedial courses you will have to take in order to prepare you for a successful academic career, but you are definitely on your path to the future! Just give me a few minutes to arrange your class schedule."

"The director said that I would need three hours a day for physical training."

"But of course. Is there any particular time that you would like that to happen?"

"He said that we could arrange that around my class schedule."

"Really? You must be very special indeed. I've heard that the director prefers to work in the afternoons. Let's give you from seven to ten for him, and put all of your academic work in the morning. That will leave your late afternoons and evenings free for study, or whatever else you choose to do."

The Mitchegai use a two-dozen-hour day, with sunrise being at zero. They do not use time zones. Rather, the clocks on all public transportation slowly change their speeds, and sometimes even direction, to reflect local time. On a fast aircraft traveling near the poles, the clocks sometimes did surprising things. The pilots lived and worked on Planetary Standard Time, of course.

Dol noticed that the advisor had changed the class schedules of five other students before he was done.

As they were leaving the building, Kren said, "The director seems to have a remarkable amount of power."

"Indeed he does, as well as status. He is the second most powerful person on campus, which means the entire city. Only the chancellor outranks him."

"And why is that?"

"Because the College of Athletics brings more money into the university than student tuitions do! The ticket sales to sporting events and the payments made by the television channels are what keeps this institution going," she said.

"Remarkable. And which individual comes in third?"

"The director of drama, although they only bring in a third of what athletics does. Our next stop is the book store."

Here it was a simple matter of giving a clerk a copy of Kren's class schedule, and sitting down and waiting for half an hour. She returned with a cart full of books, and four hefty cloth bags to put them in. She took Kren's credit card, deducted the cost of the books, various supplies, and the bags. After some stern discussions with Dol, in which the director's title was mentioned, she exchanged nine books that she said had been placed on the cart by mistake, and gave them a receipt.

"Why is there such a problem with receipts?" Kren asked as they trudged along with two heavy bags each.

"Well, it sometimes happens that a new freshman finds out that he has not paid for his tuition at all, but has made a donation to the Clerk's Civic Betterment Fund, or that he has purchased a set of obsolete books that have nothing to do with his class schedule. Also, I think that your military uniform leads some fools into thinking that you are stupid. Always get a receipt. And anyway, you'll need the receipts to be reimbursed by the director's office."

"For this timely aid, much thanks!"

"Thank Bronki. She's paying me," she said.

"Do you like working for her?"

"To answer that, I would have to ask, compared to what? Compared to living with an independent income of a gross thousand Ke a year, what she has to offer is decidedly inferior. At the time that I accepted her offer, however, the only other employment I was able to locate involved collecting juvenals from the countryside and delivering them alive to the city, on commission. By comparison, her offer was outstanding."

"And what does she pay you?" Kren asked.

"Something much better than three dozen Ke a week."

So my servant gets paid more than I do! Kren thought, Someday I'm going to have to do something about that! 

They decided that because of the weight of the books they would return to Bronki's house to drop them off.

When they got there, Dol said that they might as well get Kren's credit card number loaded into the household computer, so that he could use the doors without needing someone to let him in.

"She trusts you with so important a task?" Kren asked. "I would think that the value of any one of these paintings is worth many gross times what your yearly salary is. What if you stole a few of them?"

As Dol worked at the computer, she said, "You are probably right about the relative values of things, but one must be alive to enjoy money properly. Actually, Bronki wouldn't mind if I stole everything here. She has everything insured for at least twice its market value. If it was stolen, she would make a profit, and Bronki likes making a profit.

"The insurance company, however, doesn't like to lose money. Kren, they hire teams of bounty hunters who are more ruthless than you can possibly imagine. I would prefer death at the stake to having those killers after me. If you are thinking of stealing anything, don't do it. Or if you absolutely must do it, please tell me first so that I can report you to the bounty hunters, so as not to make them angry, and then kill myself before they get here, just in case they get angry anyway.

"There, that should do it. Step outside and try the lock with your card."

As they left, Kren said, "Where to next?"

"A clothing store, Leko's. Bronki insisted that I take you to the same store that she always uses, so as to be sure that you get the highest quality."

"Well, she got me the clothing allowance. I suppose that she has the right to tell me where to spend it. There's another thing that I wanted to ask about. We didn't have anything like that javelin in the military. When I threw it, it seemed like it was defying the laws of physics! It went straight and level for the longest time!"

"You came to the right person to ask that question," she said. "It happens that I did a paper on those things last semester for my aerodynamics class. The javelin is balanced with the center of gravity slightly behind the center of area. When it reaches the top of its flight, and is traveling slower, the tail falls slightly below the point. This gives the whole javelin some aerodynamic lift, and the flight curve flattens out. As it continues to slow down, the tail falls more, giving a higher angle of attack to compensate for the lower speed. The result is that they can fly twice as far as an ordinary spear."

"That is interesting. With the spear, all of the weight is at the point, and the shaft just keeps the point facing toward the enemy. Then why hasn't the military adopted the javelin as a weapon?"

"Because the javelin trades kinetic energy for distance. When one of those javelins touches down, it hits tail first, and it isn't going fast enough to hurt a pollywog. You can safely catch one in your hand!"

"Then if it can't hurt anyone, what good is it?" Kren asked.

"As a military weapon, it's worthless. As a piece of sporting equipment in a game where you are trying to see who can throw something the farthest, it's the difference between winning and coming in last!"

"I see. So you are studying aerodynamics?"

"Engineering. I may specialize in aerodynamics later, in graduate school. I thought you knew, since I wear engineering colors."

"I am not versed in the fine points in academic garb."

"I'll give you a book on the subject when we get back home, but for now, I wear the maroon with lime green piping of an engineer. The purplish-red belt is that of a junior undergraduate. We will be buying you the crimson robe with black piping of the business college, and you will wear the white belt of a freshman."

"What does Bronki's colorful clothing tell you?"

"Bronki has so many degrees, and is affiliated with so many academic organizations that she may wear pretty much whatever pleases her. That rainbow belt of hers is granted when one has earned a dozen doctrates in as many different diverse fields."

"And the little tassels around her shoulders?"

"One for every earned doctorate. She has a dozen and ten of them. Here's the clothing store."

In one respect, a Mitchegai clothing store has it easy by Earthly standards. All Mitchegai are exactly the same height, and their girth varies only with differences in musculature, and how long it has been since their last meal. The voluminous robes which they wore were rather similar to those worn by medieval Japanese samurai, and they handled the girth problem.

On the other hand, there are four dozen and nine different academic uniforms worn at the university, and each is available in six different degrees of price and quality. In addition, each of those comes in summer, winter, and spring and fall weights.

When they entered the store, Dol immediately announced that they were here at the request of Bronki. The clerk at the front desk instantly pressed a buzzer, calling Leko herself to the front. A distinguished-looking tailor came quickly out to greet them.

"Friends of Bronki's? But of course! I will handle all of your needs personally! What would be your requirements?"

"Kren here needs a complete kit for a freshman at the College of Business."

"Excellent! We can satisfy his every need. Come this way, please."

She took them to a special room at the back of the store, which contained nothing but the absolute best, and most expensive, merchandise. Dealing with a friend of Bronki, she would charge them twelve per gross more than usual, and send Bronki a commission of twice that, which still left Leko with a very good profit.

In the course of the next hour, Kren found that he absolutely had to have two summer weight cloaks, two more for spring and fall, and two particularly expensive ones for winter.

There was a heavy winter over cloak, and two pairs of gloves, medium and heavy. Kren noted that the seamless leather gloves had been made from the stretched and tanned skin removed from the hands and forearms of adult Mitchegai. They were dyed black, nicely tooled around the cuffs, and quite attractive, he thought, with holes on the ends of the fingers to let his claws remain useful.

Then there were two pairs of shoes, something that he had never worn before, and a pair of heavy winter over boots. The over boots were of an insulated, waterproof synthetic fabric that extended well past the knees, but the shoes were much like the gloves, and made of the skin of the feet and calves of a deceased adult. They had reinforced soles and were decorated to match the gloves.

Lastly, Dol convinced him that he really needed four sets of long winter underwear, two of which were electrically heated.

Kren also bought a nicely appointed matching book bag that was to have his name embroidered on it, and would be delivered in two days.

A cold-blooded creature must be very careful about temperature control, but in fact, the store was simply making the bill as large as possible.

At least this time, there was no difficulty with getting a receipt, and the store promised to have it all delivered within the hour, except for the book bag.

It was getting dark when they finally got home.

"Dol, why was it that I needed two of everything?"

"So that you could be wearing one while I have the laundry servant washing and pressing the other. A guest of Bronki's must always look his best, you know."

"I see. Do you realize that I have spent more than six thousand Ke today?"

"That sounds about right, but you will be reimbursed. It would be more accurate to say that the College of Athletics spent all of that money. It will be amusing to present them with the bill, tomorrow."

 

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