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CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

The Welcome Stranger
New Yugoslavia, 2211 a.d. 

The machinery had been bought from Earth, massive amounts of raw materials had been purchased and stockpiled, the initial work had been done, and the first of sixty ships that would form our Distant Early Warning Sphere, two light-years out from New Yugoslavia's sun, had just been launched. We'd be building about one a week from this time on.

I felt the need to relax alone and congratulate myself.

On rare occasions, perhaps once every two months, I like to sit down with a bottle of sour mash bourbon, and drink alone.

I was indulging in this weakness when a bright blue crab walked into my den. It was as big around as a large dinner plate, fairly thick, and had six very strange legs, but it was a crab.

I'd seen one once before, on a remote island on my honeymoon. I'd assumed that it was part of the original ecology of New Yugoslavia, even though it wasn't listed as such. I had it put into a carboy of ninety-five percent ethanol to preserve it, intending to ship it to a university for study. Soon, it somehow managed to drink twice its weight of the 190 proof booze, cut a neat, circular hole in the metal lid of the carboy, and then walk back to the ocean.

So, I was sure that I wasn't hallucinating. But just to be surer, I said, "Agnieshka?"

"Yeah, I see him too, boss. He's for real," her voice said from what looked like a stand of medieval armor.

"So. Hi there, little fellow! Are you the same guy that I met on a beach, seven years ago?"

"In fact, I am, sir," it, or I suppose, he said. "I've long wanted to thank you for your kindness, that day. To find a total, alien stranger, to have the wisdom to understand what I so badly needed, and then to have the kindness to give it to me in such munificent quantities, well, it goes beyond all normal measures of nobility. My offspring and I will forever be in your debt." He said this in perfect Kashubian.

This left me a bit flustered, first because I was talking to a crab. Then, I'd really expected him to die when I'd had him put in that embalming fluid. I mean, I didn't know that he was intelligent. I'd assumed that he was about as bright as an earthly crab, with all of the intellectual capabilities of a cockroach. This was a fortunate case where my two wrongs added up to a right!

But it wouldn't be polite to mention that now, and I had the feeling that this would be a very important conversation.

"You are quite welcome," I said. "I don't have any of that exact mixture around just now, but I am currently drinking something similar. Have you ever tried a Kentucky bourbon whiskey?"

"No sir, I haven't."

"Then please be my guest. I think that it might be awkward for you to use a glass. Agnieshka, please get our guest a shallow soup bowl."

A social drone quickly brought in a bowl, and set it on the table. As I filled it with Jim Beam, the crab easily crawled up a table leg to the table top and then sat down across from the bowl.

I topped up my glass and said, "To your good health."

After I'd had a drink, and my guest had drained his bowl, he said, "Now that was interesting, sir. It has a very complex mixture of sugars, esters, and other chemicals mixed in with the basic ethanol and water. Quite tasty, in fact."

"I'm glad that you like it. I have a wide variety of similar things here. Would you care to try them?"

"Oh, yes, indeed I would, sir!"

"As you wish. Agnieshka, let's see what our guest thinks about tequila."

After a bit more sampling, I said, "You know, my friend, we really haven't been properly introduced. I am General Mickolai Derdowski. I am the military commander on this planet. Who, and what, might you be?"

"I don't think that a human could pronounce my name without great difficulty, but Bellor might be a close approximation. My race calls itself the Tellefontu, and I am a refugee on your planet. My home planet, along with most of the members of my species, was murdered by a race called the Mitchegai, whom I believe that you have recently heard of."

"I have, Bellor. There are indications that they are coming this way."

"Indeed, they are, General Mickolai Derdowski."

"My friends just call me Mickolai."

"Thank you, Mickolai. Well, our original plan was to simply lie low on this planet, recoup our numbers, and hope that the Mitchegai did not find it suitable for colonization. Then, your people arrived, and while you inadvertently caused a great deal of damage to the original environment, you were obviously not trying to absolutely destroy it. In fact, you were making efforts to preserve at least some of it. At that point, we decided that you could make at least tolerable neighbors. When you personally demonstrated such extreme wisdom and kindness concerning me, we wondered if we could become friends. We observed that you are really two species living and working together, one biological and one electronic. We reasoned that if you could function as two species, there was every likelihood that you could function as three. Monitoring your communications, we find that you fear our ancient enemies, and that you are preparing to vigorously defend your planets from them. Therefore, we have decided to contact you, and to propose a defensive alliance."

"That's quite a statement. You must understand that I cannot speak for all of humanity, but insofar as we are talking about the military forces on this one planet, I am the person currently in charge. And yes, faced with an enemy of the size, age and power of the Mitchegai, humanity can certainly use all of the friends it can get! I personally welcome your help!"

"That is gratifying to hear."

Agnieshka had been frequently refilling Bellor's soup bowl with different flavors of booze. When she dumped in a small bottle of 190 proof Everclear, something that I had forgotten that we had, Bellor said, "Ah! Now that is the food of the Gods!"

Pure, industrial grain alcohol, I thought. Yes, that would figure. 

"Good. Glad that you like it. But there is a great deal to be discussed between us. We need to know just what you can do for us, and what you need from us."

"What we can do for you, aside from advising you on the enemy, teaching you a bit about the sciences, and piloting your fighting machines, is to give you some very useful military technology. You know the hole I made in the container that you put me in, many years ago?"

"Yes, and I was wondering how you did that."

"I made it disappear. I did the same thing to some of your window glass, in the next room, to get in here."

"You did? But that isn't glass. That's a single crystal of diamond."

"The material isn't important. Only its location matters."

"We would very much like to have that weapon. Something like it was used to take out thirty-one of our tanks when the alien ship arrived."

"Something identical to it. The Mitchegai stole that weapon from us, but we will give it to you."

"Thank you. And what do you need from us?"

"Could you spare a few hundred tons of Everclear?"

 

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