ANTHONY HOROWITZ (ED)

THE PUFFIN BOOK OF HORROR STORIES

 

    

Table of Contents

    

1/ Pe­te John­son - Sec­ret Ter­ror

2/ Step­hen King - Bat­tleg­ro­und

3/ Ro­bert Wes­tall - The Va­cancy

4/ Guy de Ma­upas­sant - The Twitch

5/ La­uren­ce Sta­ig - Fre­ebi­es

6/ Ro­ald Dahl - Man from the So­uth

7/ Ken­neth Ire­land - The We­re­wolf Mask

8/ John Gor­don - Eels

9/ Bram Sto­ker - Jonat­han Mar­ker's Jo­ur­nal

10/ Ant­hony Ho­ro­witz - Bath Night

    

    

1/ Pete Johnson - Secret Terror

    

    I've ne­ver met you but I know this abo­ut you: you're ter­ri­fi­ed of so­met­hing. It's no use den­ying it. Ever­yo­ne is. My mum, for ins­tan­ce, is ter­ri­fi­ed of int­ru­ders. That's why our do­ors are de­co­ra­ted with a who­le va­ri­ety of locks and cha­ins. The­re's even a pe­ep­ho­le so you can sta­re at who­ever's out the­re, un­de­tec­ted.

    But no lock can stop the int­ru­der I fe­ar. This int­ru­der co­mes and go­es as it ple­ases. And when it mo­ves, no bo­ards cre­ak un­der its tre­ad. The­re's not even the whis­per of a so­und to alert you whe­re it is.

    I can't re­mem­ber a ti­me when I didn't fe­ar it. But then I was al­ways a very ner­vo­us girl. Es­pe­ci­al­ly in tho­se ye­ars be­fo­re I went to scho­ol. For no one had re­ali­zed then how short-sigh­ted I was, nor that I was li­ving in a world which was per­ma­nently out of fo­cus. It was as if everyt­hing was be­ing ref­lec­ted thro­ugh one of tho­se dis­tor­ting mir­rors, the ones which twist you in­to so­met­hing hi­de­o­us.

    My eyes we­re as crazy as tho­se mir­rors and as tre­ac­he­ro­us. And then, when I was fo­ur, I was sud­denly left alo­ne in the ho­use. Mum had be­en ro­wing with Dad on the pho­ne (a stran­ge, whis­pe­red row) and then she'd rus­hed out sa­ying, 'I'll only be a mi­nu­te.'

    But she was go­ne for much lon­ger than that. And I sat in the lo­un­ge, cold and ti­red and af­ra­id. What if Mum didn't co­me back? What if no one ca­me back? Then I saw so­met­hing new in the ro­om: a small dark sha­pe, blur­red and myste­ri­o­us. And then, the dark sha­pe ran ac­ross the ro­om.

    I don't think I'll ever for­get the spe­ed with which it ran or its sud­den, jerky mo­ve­ments. And be­fo­re I knew what was hap­pe­ning it was on me, craw­ling over my fe­et. I scre­amed even tho­ugh the ho­use was empty. And fi­nal­ly my scre­ams we­re so pi­er­cing a ne­igh­bo­ur char­ged in thro­ugh the back do­or. Then my mum re­tur­ned and, a bit la­ter, the doc­tor ca­me too, be­ca­use I co­uldn't stop shi­ve­ring. He sa­id I was in a sta­te of shock. Well, why wo­uldn't I be? A lump of dust had tur­ned in­to a spi­der.

    That was how I over­ca­me all my obj­ec­ti­ons to we­aring glas­ses. I had to know if lur­king in the dar­kest sha­dows was anot­her spi­der. At le­ast, ar­med with my glas­ses, I co­uld now iden­tify my enemy.

    Except when I was in bed at night. One ti­me I saw a spi­der clim­bing ac­ross my bed­ro­om ce­iling. At on­ce I cal­led for my mum. She co­uldn't see it and sa­id I was let­ting my ima­gi­na­ti­on run away with me. But she didn't lo­ok for very long. And af­ter­wards I tho­ught, what if the spi­der is still so­mew­he­re in my ro­om, ni­cely ca­mo­uf­la­ged for now, but la­ter… la­ter when I'm as­le­ep it co­uld scurry out of the dark­ness and con­ti­nue its climb and per­haps even drop off the ce­iling - spi­ders of­ten do that - and on to my bed. And I'd ne­ver know. I'd only fe­el it as it craw­led up my neck and on to my fa­ce. To wa­ke up and fe­el its spindly legs scut­tling over yo­ur fa­ce - I can't think of a wor­se ter­ror.

    I re­mem­ber one eve­ning when I was watc­hing a James Bond film ro­und at a fri­end's ho­use: the one whe­re a ta­ran­tu­la crawls over Bond and he has to just lie the­re, swe­ating li­ke crazy, un­til the thing mo­ves off him. And I was hor­ror-struck, not at the pros­pect of the ta­ran­tu­la bi­ting him, but be­ca­use he had to stay comp­le­tely still whi­le a gi­ant spi­der craw­led over him.

    I just ran out of the ho­use. My fri­end's mum rang ho­me and un­for­tu­na­tely, my new step­fat­her ans­we­red. And af­ter he­aring abo­ut this in­ci­dent, my vi­le step­fat­her de­ci­ded he'd pro­ve to me that spi­ders can't do any harm. So one eve­ning, just as I was fi­nis­hing drying the dis­hes, he sud­denly yel­led, 'Catch, Cla­re,' and threw a spi­der right at me. Even now I can tas­te the ut­ter pa­nic and ter­ror I felt then. My mum sa­id the spi­der had ne­ver ac­tu­al­ly lan­ded on me but no one was re­al­ly su­re whe­re it went. It se­emed to just di­sap­pe­ar. For days, we­eks af­ter­wards I'd wa­ke up con­vin­ced the spi­der was still so­mew­he­re on my body.

    Happily my step­fat­her left us shortly af­ter­wards and was rep­la­ced la­ter by a step­fat­her I call Ro­ger, who, whe­ne­ver I sigh­ted a spi­der, un­ders­to­od that he had to se­arch pro­perly for it everyw­he­re. No, both he and my mum we­re very sympat­he­tic. Alt­ho­ugh oc­ca­si­onal­ly I co­uld see them lo­oking at me qu­es­ti­oningly. And I knew they we­re won­de­ring, is she just put­ting all this on to ga­in at­ten­ti­on? But so­met­hing, per­haps so­met­hing in my eyes, al­ways stop­ped them ac­cu­sing me of fa­king.

    As I got ol­der, in­to my te­ens, my fe­ar of spi­ders re­ma­ined. Only now my re­ac­ti­on to the spi­ders sca­red me al­most as much as the spi­ders them­sel­ves. For I co­uldn't se­em ab­le to cont­rol this fe­ar. And I did try.

    I sat down and tri­ed to analy­se what it was abo­ut spi­ders I ha­ted so much. Was it the­ir very thin legs or squ­elchy bo­di­es? Or the fact that they we­re bo­ne­less? (I so­me­ti­mes won­der how I know all this when I've ne­ver got that ne­ar to one, nor can even be­ar to lo­ok at one.) For so­me unk­nown re­ason it se­ems to be only spi­ders that ins­pi­re such blind ter­ror in me.

    More re­cently, so­me fri­ends tri­ed a kind of aver­si­on the­rapy on me. They kept emp­ha­si­zing the po­si­ti­ve si­de of spi­ders. They told me how go­od spi­ders we­re at catc­hing fli­es, for ins­tan­ce. And fli­es spre­ad di­se­ases, un­li­ke spi­ders. So re­al­ly, spi­ders are pro­tec­ting us from di­se­ases.

    Someone even tri­ed to ma­ke me fe­el sorry for spi­ders. 'Think,' she sa­id. 'That spi­der you kil­led was pro­bably a pa­rent and now his po­or baby spi­ders are fat­her­less or mot­her­less. Next ti­me you see a spi­der, think of its child­ren.'

    But I knew I co­uld no mo­re think of a spi­der as a pa­rent, than I co­uld an evil spi­rit. Yet I pre­ten­ded to go along with it, for I was be­co­ming mo­re and mo­re as­ha­med of my fe­ar. And alt­ho­ugh no one ever sa­id anyt­hing, I knew what they we­re thin­king: fancy be­ing sca­red of spi­ders at her age! And the fact that this fe­ar ne­ver left me ma­de it mo­re and mo­re si­nis­ter. Was the­re so­me de­ep, dark re­ason for it? Fre­ud wo­uld pro­bably say it po­in­ted to so­me kind of se­xu­al han­gup. Or per­haps I was just pla­in ne­uro­tic.

    Besides, be­ing sca­red of spi­ders was such a girly thing. And I am, I sup­po­se, a se­mi-fe­mi­nist. I've cer­ta­inly al­ways des­pi­sed wo­men who jump on tab­les and cha­irs and scre­am lo­udly if they see a mo­use. Yet, to ot­her pe­op­le, I must se­em as mo­ro­nic. That's why I tri­ed to bury my fe­ar away. I stop­ped tal­king abo­ut it and oddly eno­ugh I stop­ped se­e­ing spi­ders, too. So ever­yo­ne gra­du­al­ly for­got abo­ut it. Even my mum as­su­med it had va­nis­hed away as child­ho­od fe­ars of­ten do.

    Then one eve­ning, shortly af­ter my six­te­enth birth­day, my mum and Ro­ger went out to a din­ner-dan­ce. And they we­re sta­ying at the ho­tel over­night so they co­uld both drink and ma­ke merry (tho­ugh they ne­ver told me that was the re­ason). I'd ori­gi­nal­ly plan­ned to ha­ve so­me fri­ends vi­sit but I was still get­ting over flu, so I sa­id I'd just ha­ve a bath and an early night ins­te­ad.

    My mum left me a list of inst­ruc­ti­ons he­aded by, 'Lock yo­ur­self in and ke­ep the cha­in on the do­or'. And be­fo­re I to­ok my bath I did just that, even chec­king the locks on the win­dows. The­re's so­met­hing abo­ut be­ing in the bath that ma­kes you fe­el es­pe­ci­al­ly vul­ne­rab­le, isn't the­re?

    Then I went ups­ta­irs. I was al­re­ady a bit drowsy and my he­ad felt he­avy. I de­ci­ded I'd only ha­ve a qu­ick bath to­night. But first I'd lie down on my bed for a mi­nu­te.

    When I wo­ke up the ro­om was co­ve­red in dark­ness. It was two o'clock. I'd slept for ne­arly fo­ur ho­urs. And now it felt all stuffy. I had this full throb­bing pa­in in my he­ad. I bet I wo­uldn't get off to sle­ep aga­in for ages. So I de­ci­ded the best thing wo­uld be to ha­ve my bath now. I wo­uldn't stay in the bath long, just long eno­ugh for that lo­vely, ti­red fe­eling baths al­ways gi­ve me to so­ak in.

    I put on my ro­be, went in­to the bath­ro­om, switc­hed on the light and put on the wall he­ater. The bath­ro­om win­dow's ma­de of peb­bled glass, so all I co­uld see was the night's dark­ness, trans­for­med in­to so­met­hing stran­ge and dis­tor­ted. But I co­uld al­so he­ar the ra­in pat­te­ring aga­inst the glass and the wind whist­ling tu­ne­les­sly. A cold, unf­ri­endly night. A night to sle­ep thro­ugh.

    I bent down just to test the wa­ter was hot eno­ugh; I ha­te lu­ke­warm baths. I stretc­hed my hand out and then shrank back in ter­ror.

    I'd al­most to­uc­hed it. If I'd put my hand down just a co­up­le of cen­ti­met­res mo­re I wo­uld ha­ve to­uc­hed it. I wo­uld ha­ve to­uc­hed the lar­gest black spi­der I'd ever se­en.

    For a mo­ment I sto­od comp­le­tely still, numb with dis­be­li­ef. I hadn't se­en a spi­der for months, ye­ars. I'd as­su­med they'd di­sap­pe­ared from my li­fe now, and the­ir ter­ror co­uldn't re­ach me any­mo­re. For I was six­te­en, an adult. But as I bac­ked out of the bath­ro­om and in­to my bed­ro­om I felt myself dwind­ling away in­to a small, ter­ri­fi­ed girl aga­in. Had I re­al­ly just se­en a spi­der? Or was my flu ma­king me hal­lu­ci­na­te? For that spi­der was so hu­ge it co­uld only ha­ve jum­ped out of one of my night­ma­res. For ye­ars it had hid­den it­self in the dar­kest cor­ners of my mind just wa­iting to co­me back, stron­ger than ever, to pos­sess me.

    No. Stop. I had to try and be ra­ti­onal abo­ut this. Just how had the spi­der got in­to the bath? I'd al­ways as­su­med its only way in­to the bath was thro­ugh the dra­in­pi­pe. That's why every mor­ning I'd check the plug was in the bath. I did it wit­ho­ut thin­king, a kind of ref­lex act, li­ke loc­king the front do­or af­ter you. So it can't ha­ve got in that way.

    Well then, it must ha­ve just drop­ped in­to the bath from the win­dow led­ge. Un­less - I sud­denly re­mem­be­red Mum had had a bath just be­fo­re she went out. And I'm su­re she left a to­wel han­ging over the ed­ge of the bath, so­met­hing I wo­uld ne­ver ever do.

    Any se­cond it co­uld climb out of that bath aga­in, down the to­wel and start run­ning - whe­re? Any se­cond it co­uld scut­tle un­der the bath­ro­om do­or and in­to my bed­ro­om. Any se­cond. And the­re was not­hing I co­uld do. Un­less I got so­me­one to kill it.

    I scramb­led in­to my je­ans, then im­me­di­ately hur­led them off aga­in. A spi­der co­uld be lying so­mew­he­re in the­re. They of­ten crawl in­to clot­hes. I sho­ok the je­ans hard. Then I got dres­sed aga­in and rus­hed downs­ta­irs. My plan was to char­ge in­to the stre­et and call for help. But even as I sta­red at the cha­ins I he­ard Mum's vo­ice, 'The world's full of mur­de­rers and ra­pists,' and saw the news­pa­per ar­tic­les she was al­ways sho­wing me of girls at­tac­ked at night. I swa­yed back­wards.

    For a mo­ment I felt as if I was go­ing to pass out. Flu do­es that to you. It cre­eps back on you aga­in when you're le­ast ex­pec­ting it. No, I co­uldn't go out the­re. But I co­uld ring so­me­one for help, co­uldn't I? Li­ke Ali­son, my best fri­end. She'd un­ders­tand. She knows how much I fe­ar spi­ders. Well, she did.

    Her pho­ne rang for ages and I was abo­ut to put it down when I he­ard her mot­her say, 'Yes?'

    'Hello,' I sa­id. I didn't know how to be­gin.

    'Who is this? You've wo­ken the who­le ho­use up.' Her vo­ice was ice, a block of ice. And I knew I co­uldn't exp­la­in anyt­hing to that vo­ice.

    However, tal­king to a vo­ice se­ve­ral deg­re­es be­low fre­ezing did help me in a way. For as I clic­ked the pho­ne down, I sud­denly had an idea. So­met­hing I co­uld do alo­ne. And for the first ti­me that eve­ning I even re­le­ased a grim smi­le.

    The ter­ror was still the­re. But I was strug­gling to the sur­fa­ce of it now. I marc­hed back ups­ta­irs and I sto­od out­si­de the bath­ro­om do­or. Then I tho­ught, what if the spi­der's not in the bath any­mo­re? What if it's I swat­ted the­se fe­ars away. The­re was a go­od chan­ce the spi­der was still in the bath. Af­ter all, spi­ders can sit mo­ti­on­less in the sa­me spot for ho­urs. And if it wasn't in the bath any mo­re - well, at le­ast I'd know.

    I ban­ged open the bath­ro­om do­or, the way Mum did ye­ars ago when she tho­ught she he­ard int­ru­ders downs­ta­irs. And I was abo­ut to switch the light on - when I re­mem­be­red what a mis­ta­ke that co­uld be. In­sects are drawn to the light. And I didn't want the spi­der sud­denly to start mo­ving abo­ut. Not now.

    I crept to­wards the bath. It was pitch dark in the­re, just as if the who­le ro­om was held be­ne­ath the spi­der's sha­dow. And the­re it was, so ne­arly ca­mo­uf­la­ged be­ne­ath its gi­ant sha­dow and so comp­le­tely still that you'd ne­ver know it was the­re. But I knew. I co­uld al­most he­ar it bre­at­hing.

    Yet, so­on, very so­on, this spi­der will ter­rify me no lon­ger.

    First, I slowly and ca­re­ful­ly to­ok the to­wel off the bath. Next, I switc­hed the hot-wa­ter tap full on. The wa­ter gus­hed out fi­er­cely, qu­ickly fil­ling the bath. And all of a sud­den the spi­der was mo­ving. It was trying to scramb­le out of the bath. Al­most ins­tinc­ti­vely I bac­ked away. But the wa­ter was too fast for it. It co­uld only bob along on the si­de of the bath. And then it star­ted shrin­king in­to a ball, un­til fi­nal­ly it lo­oked exactly li­ke what I'd first mis­ta­ken it for all tho­se ye­ars ago - a lar­ge speck of dust. It was di­sap­pe­aring now, be­co­ming smal­ler and smal­ler. I ed­ged clo­ser to the bath. We­re its legs fal­ling off? I think they we­re. The­re we­re lit­tle black specks in the bath now, any­way. Af­ter­wards I re­al­ly wo­uld ha­ve to cle­an that bath out.

    I tur­ned away. Now I co­uld al­most smell the spi­der's de­com­po­sing body. The­re was a hor­rib­le dank smell in he­re, just as if I we­re in an old ca­se full of rot­ting… I tur­ned back. I didn't ne­ed to lo­ok at the spi­der now. It wo­uld be no mo­re than a black speck. I unp­lug­ged the wa­ter. And now the wa­ter will carry it away fo­re­ver. I lis­te­ned to the wa­ter gurg­ling out. To­night it se­emed a fri­endly, re­as­su­ring so­und re­min­ding me of bath­ti­mes with warm ra­di­ators and Mum cal­ling, 'Now dry yo­ur­self pro­perly. You'll get rhe­uma­tism if you rush yo­ur drying.' How sa­fe I felt then. If only I co­uld go back. If only I wasn't awa­ke now.

    I dar­ted a glan­ce at the spi­der, then I ga­ped in dis­be­li­ef. The spi­der was mo­ving. It star­ted un­fur­ling it­self li­ke a tiny ball of wo­ol, gro­wing big­ger and big­ger. It hadn't drow­ned at all. On­ce aga­in it had che­ated me. On­ce aga­in it had won.

    It was scut­tling abo­ut in the bath now, qu­ickly, and con­fi­dently, whi­le I ra­ced aro­und the bath­ro­om too, des­pe­ra­tely trying to think what to do next. My he­ad felt hot and throb­bing. I sho­uld be in bed, res­ting. But how can I rest when this thing is ro­aming abo­ut the ho­use? I lo­oked at my watch. Only half-past two. Ho­urs and ho­urs yet be­fo­re mor­ning. Oh, what co­uld I do?

    Suddenly I char­ged downs­ta­irs. I had one last des­pe­ra­te plan. I ran in­to the kitc­hen and fil­led two jugs so full of wa­ter I spilt half on the way up the sta­irs aga­in.

    I pic­ked up my first jug and let the wa­ter tumb­le out be­hind the spi­der. My idea was that the for­ce of the wa­ter wo­uld push the spi­der down the plug ho­le. And it wor­ked. Partly. The wa­ter car­ri­ed the spi­der abo­ut half-way down the bath. So stra­igh­ta­way I po­ured the se­cond jug­ful be­hind the spi­der, which was by now tightly cur­led up in a ball. And the wa­ter for­ced it right up to the ho­le. One mo­re jug­ful sho­uld send it hurt­ling down the plug ho­le.

    But then I re­mem­be­red so­met­hing. In a lot of dra­ins the­re's a lit­tle led­ge whe­re spi­ders sit wa­iting to co­me back aga­in. I ima­gi­ned that spi­der un­fur­ling it­self and then sne­aking back in­to the bath­ro­om aga­in. On­ce mo­re I star­ted sha­king but this ti­me mo­re with an­ger. I didn't want this fe­ar any mo­re. But I co­uldn't lo­se it. Per­haps I'd ne­ver lo­se it.

    Yes, I co­uld. Sud­denly I flung open the bath­ro­om win­dow, pul­led off abo­ut half a met­re of loo pa­per and sco­oped up the spi­der. I did all this in abo­ut ten se­conds flat, mo­ving as if I'd be­en pus­hed in­to the wrong spe­ed.

    'Hold in the­re,' I sa­id to myself. 'All you ha­ve to do now is throw the thing out of the win­dow.' I to­ok ca­re­ful aim, hol­ding the pa­per right by my ear, as I'm not a very go­od shot, whi­le fu­ri­o­usly crunc­hing the pa­per tigh­ter and tigh­ter. Then I hur­led the loo pa­per right out of the win­dow and watc­hed it plun­ge on to the back gar­den li­ke so­me de­for­med ki­te. To­mor­row, no do­ubt, my step­dad wo­uld want to know why the­re was a roll of to­ilet pa­per on the back gar­den. I fo­und myself smi­ling. Who ca­red abo­ut that! I was free of it at last. I was free. I even star­ted fe­eling a bit pro­ud of myself.

    Soon I was too ex­ha­us­ted to stay awa­ke very long. I cras­hed out on the top of my bed and im­me­di­ately I was as­le­ep and dre­aming of a de­ad bird. I had se­en it one mor­ning on the ro­ad, lying the­re all shri­vel­led up. But that was ye­ars ago. I was at pri­mary scho­ol. Yet, he­re it was aga­in. Did not­hing ever get lost?

    And then I saw so­met­hing craw­ling out of the bird's eye…

    It was such a re­li­ef to wa­ke up, even tho­ugh I was swe­ating li­ke crazy and I had this stran­ge tick­ling sen­sa­ti­on in my ha­ir.

    I was still half as­le­ep, wasn't I, tas­ting the last mo­ments of my night­ma­re? How co­uld anyt­hing be in my ha­ir? Un­less… An ima­ge flas­hed thro­ugh my mind of me hol­ding the loo roll just un­der my ear, clo­se eno­ugh for so­met­hing to spring on to my fa­ce and…

    And I star­ted to scre­am. And so­on I he­ard pe­op­le ham­me­ring on the front do­or cal­ling my na­me, just li­ke they had all tho­se ye­ars be­fo­re. Only this ti­me they'd ne­ver be ab­le to get in. This ti­me no one can help me.

    And then I felt a stran­ge tick­ling sen­sa­ti­on cre­eping down my fa­ce.

    

    

2/ Stephen King – Battleground

    

    'Mr Rens­haw?'

    The desk clerk's vo­ice ca­ught him half-way to the ele­va­tor, and Rens­haw tur­ned back im­pa­ti­ently, shif­ting his flight bag from one hand to the ot­her. The en­ve­lo­pe in his co­at poc­ket, stuf­fed with twen­ti­es and fif­ti­es, crack­led he­avily. The job had go­ne well and the pay had be­en ex­cel­lent - even af­ter the Or­ga­ni­za­ti­on's 15 per cent fin­der's fee had be­en skim­med off the top. Now all he wan­ted was a hot sho­wer and a gin and to­nic and sle­ep.

    'What is it?'

    'Package, sir. Wo­uld you sign the slip?'

    Renshaw sig­ned and lo­oked tho­ught­ful­ly at the rec­tan­gu­lar pac­ka­ge. His na­me and the bu­il­ding's ad­dress we­re writ­ten on the gum­med la­bel in a spiky back­hand script that se­emed fa­mi­li­ar. He roc­ked the pac­ka­ge on the imi­ta­ti­on-marb­le sur­fa­ce of the desk, and so­met­hing clan­ked fa­intly in­si­de.

    'Should I ha­ve that sent up, Mr Rens­haw?'

    'No, I've got it.' It was abo­ut eigh­te­en inc­hes on a si­de and fit­ted clum­sily un­der his arm. He put it on the plush car­pet that co­ve­red the ele­va­tor flo­or and twis­ted his key in the pent­ho­use slot abo­ve the re­gu­lar rack of but­tons. The car ro­se smo­othly and si­lently. He clo­sed his eyes and let the job rep­lay it­self on the dark scre­en of his mind.

    First, as al­ways, a call from Cal Ba­tes: 'You ava­ilab­le, Johnny?'

    He was ava­ilab­le twi­ce a ye­ar, mi­ni­mum fee $10,000. He was very go­od, very re­li­ab­le, but what his cus­to­mers re­al­ly pa­id for was the in­fal­lib­le pre­da­tor's ta­lent. John Rens­haw was a hu­man hawk, const­ruc­ted by both ge­ne­tics and en­vi­ron­ment to do two things su­perbly: kill and sur­vi­ve.

    After Ba­tes's call, a buff-co­lo­ured en­ve­lo­pe ap­pe­ared in Rens­haw's box. A na­me, an ad­dress, a pho­tog­raph. All com­mit­ted to me­mory; then down the gar­ba­ge dis­po­sal with the as­hes of en­ve­lo­pe and con­tents.

    This ti­me the fa­ce had be­en that of a sal­low Mi­ami bu­si­nes­sman na­med Hans Mor­ris, fo­un­der and ow­ner of the Mor­ris Toy Com­pany. So­me­one had wan­ted Mor­ris out of the way and had go­ne to the Or­ga­ni­za­ti­on. The Or­ga­ni­za­ti­on, in the per­son of Cal­vin Ba­tes, had tal­ked to John Rens­haw. Pow. Mo­ur­ners ple­ase omit flo­wers.

    The do­ors slid open, he pic­ked up his pac­ka­ge and step­ped out. He un­loc­ked the su­ite and step­ped in. At this ti­me of day, just af­ter 3 p.m., the spa­ci­o­us li­ving-ro­om was splas­hed with Ap­ril suns­hi­ne. He pa­used for a mo­ment, enj­oying it, then put the pac­ka­ge on the end tab­le by the do­or and lo­ose­ned his tie. He drop­ped the en­ve­lo­pe on top of it and wal­ked over to the ter­ra­ce.

    He pus­hed open the sli­ding glass do­or and step­ped out. It was cold, and the wind kni­fed thro­ugh his thin top­co­at. Yet he pa­used a mo­ment, lo­oking over the city the way a ge­ne­ral might sur­vey a cap­tu­red co­untry. Traf­fic craw­led be­et­le­li­ke in the stre­ets. Far away, al­most bu­ri­ed in the gol­den af­ter­no­on ha­ze, the Bay Brid­ge glit­te­red li­ke a mad­man's mi­ra­ge. To the east, all but lost be­hind the down­town high ri­ses, the cram­med and dirty te­ne­ments with the­ir sta­in­less-ste­el fo­rests of TV aeri­als. It was bet­ter up he­re. Bet­ter than in the gut­ters.

    He went back in­si­de, slid the do­or clo­sed, and went in­to the bath­ro­om for a long, hot sho­wer.

    When he sat down forty mi­nu­tes la­ter to re­gard his pac­ka­ge, drink in hand, the sha­dows had marc­hed half-way ac­ross the wi­ne-co­lo­ured car­pet and the best of the af­ter­no­on was past.

    It was a bomb.

    Of co­ur­se it wasn't, but one pro­ce­eded as if it we­re. That was why one had re­ma­ined up­right and ta­king no­urish­ment whi­le so many ot­hers had go­ne to that gre­at unemp­loy­ment of­fi­ce in the sky.

    If it was a bomb, it was clock­less. It sat ut­terly si­lent; bland and enig­ma­tic. Plas­ti­que was mo­re li­kely the­se days, any­way. Less tem­pe­ra­men­tal than the clock-springs ma­nu­fac­tu­red by Westc­lox and Big Ben.

    Renshaw lo­oked at the post­mark. Mi­ami, 15 Ap­ril. Fi­ve days ago. So the bomb was not ti­me-set. It wo­uld ha­ve go­ne off in the ho­tel sa­fe in that ca­se.

    Miami. Yes. And that spiky back­hand wri­ting. The­re had be­en a fra­med pho­tog­raph on the sal­low bu­si­nes­sman's desk. The pho­to had be­en of an even sal­lo­wer old cro­ne we­aring a ba­bush­ka. The script slan­ted ac­ross the bot­tom had re­ad: 'Best from yo­ur num­ber-one idea girl - Mom.'

    What kind of a num­ber-one idea is this, Mom? A do-it-yo­ur­self ex­ter­mi­na­ti­on kit?

    He re­gar­ded the pac­ka­ge with comp­le­te con­cent­ra­ti­on, not mo­ving, his hands fol­ded. Ext­ra­ne­o­us qu­es­ti­ons, such as how Mor­ris's num­ber-one idea girl might ha­ve dis­co­ve­red his ad­dress, did not oc­cur to him. They we­re for la­ter, for Cal Ba­tes. Unim­por­tant now.

    With a sud­den, al­most ab­sent mo­ve, he to­ok a small cel­lu­lo­id ca­len­dar out of his wal­let and in­ser­ted it deftly un­der the twi­ne that cris­scros­sed the brown pa­per. He slid it un­der the Scotch ta­pe that held one end flap. The flap ca­me lo­ose, re­la­xing aga­inst the twi­ne.

    He pa­used for a ti­me, ob­ser­ving, then le­aned clo­se and snif­fed. Card­bo­ard, pa­per, string. Not­hing mo­re. He wal­ked aro­und the box, squ­at­ted easily on his ha­unc­hes, and re­pe­ated the pro­cess. Twi­light was in­va­ding his apart­ment with grey, sha­dowy fin­gers.

    One of the flaps pop­ped free of the rest­ra­ining twi­ne, sho­wing a dull gre­en box be­ne­ath. Me­tal. Hin­ged. He pro­du­ced a poc­ket kni­fe and cut the twi­ne. It fell away, and a few hel­ping prods with the tip of the kni­fe re­ve­aled the box.

    It was gre­en with black mar­kings, and sten­cil­led on the front in whi­te let­ters we­re the words: G I Joe Vi­et­nam fo­ot­loc­ker. Be­low that: 20 In­fantry­men, 10 He­li­cop­ters, 2 BAR Men, 2 Ba­zo­oka Men, 2 Me­dics, 4 Je­eps. Be­low that: a flag de­cal. Be­low that, in the cor­ner: Mor­ris Toy Com­pany, Mi­ami, Fla.

    He re­ac­hed out to to­uch it, then withd­rew his hand. So­met­hing in­si­de the fo­ot­loc­ker had mo­ved.

    Renshaw sto­od up, not hur­rying, and bac­ked ac­ross the ro­om to­wards the kitc­hen and the hall. He snap­ped on the lights.

    The Vi­et­nam Fo­ot­loc­ker was roc­king, ma­king the brown pa­per be­ne­ath it rat­tle. It sud­denly over­ba­lan­ced and fell to the car­pet with a soft thud, lan­ding on one end. The hin­ged top ope­ned a crack of per­haps two inc­hes.

    Tiny fo­ot sol­di­ers, abo­ut an inch and a half tall, be­gan to crawl out. Rens­haw watc­hed them, unb­lin­king. His mind ma­de no ef­fort to co­pe with the re­al or un­re­al as­pect of what he was se­e­ing - only with the pos­sib­le con­se­qu­en­ces for his sur­vi­val.

    The sol­di­ers we­re we­aring mi­nus­cu­le army fa­ti­gu­es, hel­mets, and fi­eld packs. Tiny car­bi­nes we­re slung ac­ross the­ir sho­ul­ders. Two of them lo­oked bri­efly ac­ross the ro­om at Rens­haw. The­ir eyes, no big­ger than pen­cil po­ints, glit­te­red.

    Five, ten, twel­ve, then all twenty. One of them was ges­tu­ring, or­de­ring the ot­hers. They li­ned them­sel­ves up along the crack that the fall had pro­du­ced and be­gan to push. The crack be­gan to wi­den.

    Renshaw pic­ked one of the lar­ge pil­lows off the co­uch and be­gan to walk to­wards them. The com­man­ding of­fi­cer tur­ned and ges­tu­red. The ot­hers whir­led and uns­lung the­ir car­bi­nes. The­re we­re tiny, al­most de­li­ca­te pop­ping so­unds, and Rens­haw felt sud­denly as if he had be­en stung by be­es.

    He threw the pil­low. It struck them, knoc­king them spraw­ling, then hit the box and knoc­ked it wi­de open. In­sect­li­ke, with a fa­int, high whir­ring no­ise li­ke chig­gers, a clo­ud of mi­ni­atu­re he­li­cop­ters, pa­in­ted jung­le gre­en, ro­se out of the box.

    Tiny phut! phut! so­unds re­ac­hed Rens­haw's ears and he saw pinp­rick-si­zed muz­zle flas­hes co­ming from the open cop­ter do­ors. Ne­ed­les pric­ked his belly, his right arm, the si­de of his neck. He cla­wed out and got one - sud­den pa­in in his fin­gers; blo­od wel­ling. The whir­ling bla­des had chop­ped them to the bo­ne in di­ago­nal scar­let hash marks. The ot­hers whir­led out of ran­ge, circ­ling him li­ke hor­sef­li­es. The stric­ken cop­ter thum­ped to the rug and lay still.

    Sudden exc­ru­ci­ating pa­in in his fo­ot ma­de him cry out. One of the fo­ot sol­di­ers was stan­ding on his shoe and ba­yo­ne­ting his ank­le. The tiny fa­ce lo­oked up, pa­in­ted and grin­ning.

    Renshaw kic­ked at it and the tiny body flew ac­ross the ro­om to splat­ter on the wall. It did not le­ave blo­od but a vis­cid purp­le sme­ar.

    There was a tiny, co­ug­hing exp­lo­si­on and blin­ding agony rip­ped his thigh. One of the ba­zo­oka men had co­me out of the fo­ot­loc­ker. A small curl of smo­ke ro­se la­zily from his we­apon. Rens­haw lo­oked down at his leg and saw a blac­ke­ned, smo­king ho­le in his pants the si­ze of a qu­ar­ter. The flesh be­ne­ath was char­red.

    The lit­tle bas­tard shot me!

    He tur­ned and ran in­to the hall, then in­to his bed­ro­om. One of the he­li­cop­ters buz­zed past his che­ek, bla­des whir­ring bu­sily. The small stut­ter of a BAR. Then it dar­ted away.

    The gun be­ne­ath his pil­low was a.44 Mag­num, big eno­ugh to put a ho­le the si­ze of two fists thro­ugh anyt­hing it hit. Rens­haw tur­ned, hol­ding the pis­tol in both hands. He re­ali­zed co­ol­ly that he wo­uld be sho­oting at a mo­ving tar­get not much big­ger than a flying light bulb.

    Two of the cop­ters whir­red in. Sit­ting on the bed, Rens­haw fi­red on­ce. One of the he­li­cop­ters exp­lo­ded in­to not­hing­ness. That's two, he tho­ught. He drew a be­ad on the se­cond… squ­e­ezed the trig­ger…

    It jig­ged! God­dam­nit, it jig­ged!

    The he­li­cop­ter swo­oped at him in a sud­den de­adly arc, fo­re and aft over­he­ad props whir­ring with blin­ding spe­ed. Rens­haw ca­ught a glimp­se of one of the BAR men cro­uc­hed at the open bay do­or, fi­ring his we­apon in short, de­adly bursts, and then he threw him­self to the flo­or and rol­led.

    My eyes, the bas­tard was go­ing for my eyes!

    He ca­me up on his back at the far wall, the gun held at chest le­vel. But the cop­ter was ret­re­ating. It se­emed to pa­use for a mo­ment, and dip in re­cog­ni­ti­on of Rens­haw's su­pe­ri­or fi­re­po­wer. Then it was go­ne, back to­wards the li­ving-ro­om.

    Renshaw got up, win­cing as his we­ight ca­me down on the wo­un­ded leg. It was ble­eding fre­ely. And why not? he tho­ught grimly. It's not every­body who gets hit po­int-blank with a ba­zo­oka shell and li­ves to tell abo­ut it.

    So Mom was his num­ber-one idea girl, was she? She was all that and a bit mo­re.

    He sho­ok a pil­low­ca­se free of the tick and rip­ped it in­to a ban­da­ge for his leg, then to­ok his sha­ving mir­ror from the bu­re­au and went to the hal­lway do­or. Kne­eling, he sho­ved it out on to the car­pet at an ang­le and pe­ered in.

    They we­re bi­vo­u­ac­king by the fo­ot­loc­ker, dam­ned if they we­ren't. Mi­ni­atu­re sol­di­ers ran hit­her and thit­her, set­ting up tents. Je­eps two inc­hes high ra­ced abo­ut im­por­tantly. A me­dic was wor­king over the sol­di­er Rens­haw had kic­ked. The re­ma­ining eight cop­ters flew in a pro­tec­ti­ve swarm over­he­ad, at cof­fee-tab­le le­vel.

    Suddenly they be­ca­me awa­re of the mir­ror, and three of the fo­ot sol­di­ers drop­ped to one knee and be­gan fi­ring. Se­conds la­ter the mir­ror shat­te­red in fo­ur pla­ces. Okay, okay, then.

    Renshaw went back to the bu­re­au and got the he­avy ma­ho­gany od­ds-and-ends box Lin­da had gi­ven him for Christ­mas. He hef­ted it on­ce, nod­ded, and went to the do­or­way and lun­ged thro­ugh. He wo­und up and fi­red li­ke a pitc­her thro­wing a fast ball. The box desc­ri­bed a swift, true vec­tor and smas­hed lit­tle men li­ke ni­ne­pins. One of the je­eps rol­led over twi­ce. Rens­haw ad­van­ced to the do­or­way of the li­ving ro­om, sigh­ted on one of the spraw­ling sol­di­ers, and ga­ve it to him.

    Several of the ot­hers had re­co­ve­red. So­me we­re kne­eling and fi­ring for­mal­ly. Ot­hers had ta­ken co­ver. Still ot­hers had ret­re­ated back in­to the fo­ot­loc­ker.

    The bee stings be­gan to pep­per his legs and tor­so, but no­ne re­ac­hed hig­her than his rib ca­ge. Per­haps the ran­ge was too gre­at. It didn't mat­ter; he had no in­ten­ti­on of be­ing tur­ned away. This was it.

    He mis­sed with his next shot - they we­re so god­damn small - but the fol­lo­wing one sent anot­her sol­di­er in­to a bro­ken sprawl.

    The cop­ters we­re buz­zing to­wards him fe­ro­ci­o­usly. Now the tiny bul­lets be­gan to splat in­to his fa­ce, abo­ve and be­low his eyes. He pot­ted the le­ad cop­ter, then the se­cond. Jag­ged stre­aks of pa­in sil­ve­red his vi­si­on.

    The re­ma­ining six split in­to two ret­re­ating wings. His fa­ce was wet with blo­od and he swi­ped at it with his fo­re­arm. He was re­ady to start fi­ring aga­in when he pa­used. The sol­di­ers who had ret­re­ated in­si­de the fo­ot­loc­ker we­re trund­ling so­met­hing out. So­met­hing that lo­oked li­ke…

    There was a blin­ding siz­zle of yel­low fi­re, and a sud­den go­ut of wo­od and plas­ter exp­lo­ded from the wall to his left.

    a roc­ket la­un­c­her!

    He squ­e­ezed off one shot at it, mis­sed, whe­eled and ran for the bath­ro­om at the far end of the cor­ri­dor. He slam­med the do­or and loc­ked it. In the bath­ro­om mir­ror an In­di­an was sta­ring back at him with da­zed and ha­un­ted eyes, a bat­tle-cra­zed In­di­an with thin stre­amers of red pa­int drawn from ho­les no big­ger than gra­ins of pep­per. A rag­ged flap of skin dang­led from one che­ek. The­re was a go­uged fur­row in his neck.

    I'm lo­sing!

    He ran a sha­king hand thro­ugh his ha­ir. The front do­or was cut off. So was the pho­ne and the kitc­hen ex­ten­si­on. They had a god-damn roc­ket la­unc­her and a di­rect hit wo­uld te­ar his he­ad off.

    Damn it, that wasn't even lis­ted on the box!

    He star­ted to draw in a long bre­ath and let it out in a sud­den grunt as a fist-si­zed sec­ti­on of the do­or blew in with a char­red burst of wo­od. Tiny fla­mes glo­wed bri­efly aro­und the rag­ged ed­ges of the ho­le, and he saw the bril­li­ant flash as they la­unc­hed anot­her ro­und. Mo­re wo­od blew in­ward, scat­te­ring bur­ning sli­vers on the bath­ro­om rug. He stam­ped them out and two of the cop­ters buz­zed ang­rily thro­ugh the ho­le. Mi­nus­cu­le BAR slugs stitc­hed his chest.

    With a whi­ning gro­an of ra­ge he smas­hed one out of the air ba­re­han­ded, sus­ta­ining a pic­ket fen­ce of de­ep slas­hes ac­ross his palm. In sud­den in­ven­ti­on, he slung a he­avy bath to­wel over the ot­her. It fell, writ­hing, to the flo­or, and he stam­ped the li­fe out of it. His bre­ath was co­ming in ho­ar­se who­ops. Blo­od ran in­to one eye, hot and stin­ging, and he wi­ped it away.

    There, god­dam­nit. The­re. That'll ma­ke them think.

    Indeed, it did se­em to be ma­king them think. The­re was no mo­ve­ment for fif­te­en mi­nu­tes. Rens­haw sat on the ed­ge of the tub, thin­king fe­ve­rishly. The­re had to be a way out of this blind al­ley. The­re had to be. If the­re was only a way to flank them…

    He sud­denly tur­ned and lo­oked at the small win­dow over the tub. The­re was a way. Of co­ur­se the­re was.

    His eyes drop­ped to the can of ligh­ter flu­id on top of the me­di­ci­ne ca­bi­net. He was re­ac­hing for it when the rust­ling no­ise ca­me.

    He whir­led, brin­ging the Mag­num up… but it was only a tiny scrap of pa­per sho­ved un­der the crack of the do­or. The crack, Rens­haw no­ted grimly, was too nar­row for even one of them to get thro­ugh.

    There was one tiny word writ­ten on the pa­per: Sur­ren­der.

    Renshaw smi­led grimly and put the ligh­ter flu­id in his bre­ast poc­ket. The­re was a che­wed stub of pen­cil be­si­de it. He scraw­led one word on the pa­per and sho­ved it back un­der the do­or. The word was: NUTS.

    There was a sud­den blin­ding bar­ra­ge of roc­ket shells, and Rens­haw bac­ked away. They arc­hed thro­ugh the ho­le in the do­or and de­to­na­ted aga­inst the pa­le blue ti­les abo­ve the to­wel rack, tur­ning the ele­gant wall in­to a poc­ket lu­nar lands­ca­pe. Rens­haw threw a hand over his eyes as plas­ter flew in a hot ra­in of shrap­nel. Bur­ning ho­les rip­ped thro­ugh his shirt and his back was pep­pe­red.

    When the bar­ra­ge stop­ped, Rens­haw mo­ved. He clim­bed on top of the tub and slid the win­dow open. Cold stars lo­oked in at him. It was a nar­row win­dow, and a nar­row led­ge be­yond it. But the­re was no ti­me to think of that.

    He bo­os­ted him­self thro­ugh, and the cold air slap­ped his la­ce­ra­ted fa­ce and neck li­ke an open hand. He was le­aning over the ba­lan­ce po­int of his hands, sta­ring stra­ight down. Forty sto­reys down. From this he­ight the stre­et lo­oked no wi­der than a child's tra­in track. The bright, win­king lights of the city glit­te­red madly be­low him li­ke thrown jewels.

    With the de­cep­ti­ve ease of a tra­ined gymnast, Rens­haw bro­ught his kne­es up to rest on the lo­wer ed­ge of the win­dow. If one of tho­se wasp-si­zed cop­ters flew thro­ugh that ho­le in the do­or now, one shot in the ass wo­uld send him stra­ight down, scre­aming all the way.

    None did.

    He twis­ted, thrust one leg out, and one re­ac­hing hand grab­bed the over­he­ad cor­ni­ce and held. A mo­ment la­ter he was stan­ding on the led­ge out­si­de the win­dow.

    Deliberately not thin­king of the hor­rif­ying drop be­low his he­els, not thin­king of what wo­uld hap­pen if one of the he­li­cop­ters buz­zed out af­ter him, Rens­haw ed­ged to­wards the cor­ner of the bu­il­ding.

    Fifteen fe­et… ten… The­re. He pa­used, his chest pres­sed aga­inst the wall, hands spla­yed out on the ro­ugh sur­fa­ce. He co­uld fe­el the ligh­ter flu­id in his bre­ast poc­ket and the re­as­su­ring we­ight of the Mag­num jam­med in his wa­ist­band.

    Now to get aro­und the god­damn cor­ner.

    Gently, he eased one fo­ot aro­und and slid his we­ight on to it. Now the right ang­le was pres­sed ra­zor­li­ke in­to his chest and gut. The­re was a sme­ar of bird gu­ano in front of his eyes on the ro­ugh sto­ne. Christ, he tho­ught cra­zily. I didn't know they co­uld fly this high.

    His left fo­ot slip­ped.

    For a we­ird, ti­me­less mo­ment he tot­te­red over the brink, right arm back wa­te­ring madly for ba­lan­ce, and then he was clutc­hing the two si­des of the bu­il­ding in a lo­ver's emb­ra­ce, fa­ce pres­sed aga­inst the hard cor­ner, bre­ath shud­de­ring in and out of his lungs.

    A bit at a ti­me, he slid the ot­her fo­ot aro­und.

    Thirty fe­et away, his own li­ving-ro­om ter­ra­ce jut­ted out.

    He ma­de his way down to it, bre­ath sli­ding in and out of his lungs with shal­low for­ce. Twi­ce he was for­ced to stop as sharp gusts of wind tri­ed to pick him off the led­ge.

    Then he was the­re, grip­ping the or­na­men­ted iron ra­ilings.

    He ho­is­ted him­self over no­ise­les­sly. He had left the cur­ta­ins half drawn ac­ross the sli­ding glass par­ti­ti­on, and now he pe­ered in ca­uti­o­usly. They we­re just the way he wan­ted them - ass to.

    Four sol­di­ers and one cop­ter had be­en left to gu­ard the fo­ot­loc­ker. The rest wo­uld be out­si­de the bath­ro­om do­or with the roc­ket la­unc­her.

    Okay. In thro­ugh the ope­ning li­ke gang­bus­ters. Wi­pe out the ones by the fo­ot­loc­ker, then out the do­or. Then a qu­ick ta­xi to the air­port. Off to Mi­ami to find Mor­ris's num­ber-one idea girl.

    He to­ok off his shirt and rip­ped a long strip from one sle­eve. He drop­ped the rest to flut­ter limply by his fe­et, and bit off the plas­tic spo­ut on the can of ligh­ter flu­id. He stuf­fed one end of the rag in­si­de, withd­rew it, and stuf­fed the ot­her end in so only a six-inch strip of sa­tu­ra­ted cot­ton hung free.

    He got out his ligh­ter, to­ok a de­ep bre­ath, and thum­bed the whe­el. He tip­ped it to the cloth and as it sprang alight he ram­med open the glass par­ti­ti­on and plun­ged thro­ugh.

    The cop­ter re­ac­ted ins­tantly, ka­mi­ka­ze-di­ving him as he char­ged ac­ross the rug, drip­ping tiny splat­ters of li­qu­id fi­re.

    Renshaw stra­ight-armed it, hardly no­ti­cing the jolt of pa­in that ran up his arm as the tur­ning bla­des chop­ped his flesh open.

    The tiny fo­ot sol­di­ers scat­te­red in­to the fo­ot­loc­ker.

    After that, it all hap­pe­ned very ra­pidly.

    Renshaw threw the ligh­ter flu­id. The can ca­ught, mush­ro­oming in­to a lic­king fi­re­ball. The next ins­tant he was re­ver­sing, run­ning for the do­or.

    He ne­ver knew what hit him.

    It was li­ke the thud that a ste­el sa­fe wo­uld ma­ke when drop­ped from a res­pec­tab­le he­ight. Only this thud ran thro­ugh the en­ti­re high-ri­se apart­ment bu­il­ding, thrum­ming in its ste­el fra­me li­ke a tu­ning fork.

    The pent­ho­use do­or blew off its hin­ges and shat­te­red aga­inst the far wall.

    A co­up­le who had be­en wal­king hand in hand be­low lo­oked up in ti­me to see a very lar­ge whi­te flash, as tho­ugh a hund­red flash-guns had go­ne off at on­ce.

    'Somebody blew a fu­se,' the man sa­id. 'I gu­ess - '

    'What's that?' his girl as­ked.

    Something was flut­te­ring la­zily down to­wards them; he ca­ught it in one outst­retc­hed hand. 'Jesus, so­me guy's shirt. All full of lit­tle ho­les. Blo­ody, too.'

    'I don't li­ke it,' she sa­id ner­vo­usly. 'Call a cab, huh, Ralph? We'll ha­ve to talk to the cops if so­met­hing hap­pe­ned up the­re, and I ain't sup­po­sed to be out with you.'

    'Sure, ye­ah.'

    He lo­oked aro­und, saw a ta­xi, and whist­led. Its bra­ke lights fla­red and they ran ac­ross to get it.

    Behind them, un­se­en, a tiny scrap of pa­per flo­ated down and lan­ded ne­ar the re­ma­ins of John Rens­haw's shirt. Spiky back­hand script re­ad:

    Hey, kids! Spe­ci­al in this Vi­et­nam Fo­ot­loc­ker! (For a Li­mi­ted Ti­me Only)

    

    1 Roc­ket La­unc­her

    20 Sur­fa­ce-to-Air 'Twis­ter' Mis­si­les

    1 Sca­le-Mo­del Ther­mo­nuc­le­ar We­apon

    

    

3/ Robert Westall - The Vacancy

    

    It was in a si­de-stre­et, in the win­dow of a lit­tle brown-brick of­fi­ce. Ne­atly writ­ten, on fresh cle­an card:

    

Vacancy available.

For a bright keen lad.

    

    Martin pul­led up, sur­ve­yed it sus­pi­ci­o­usly. Why spe­cify a lad? Il­le­gal, un­der the Sex-disc­ri­mi­na­ti­on Act. Eng­land was a land of equ­al op­por­tu­nity; to be unemp­lo­yed. Mar­tin la­ug­hed, wit­ho­ut mirth. The emp­loy­ment-po­li­ce wo­uld be on to that stra­ight away, and he didn't want to get in­vol­ved with the emp­loy­ment-po­li­ce. But per­haps the emp­loy­ment-po­li­ce wo­uldn't bot­her co­ming down he­re. It was such a dingy lost lit­tle stre­et. In all his tra­vels he'd ne­ver co­me ac­ross a stre­et so lost.

    He par­ked his bi­ke aga­inst the dull brown wall. An early 1980s ra­cing-bi­ke, his pri­de and joy. Sal­va­ged from the con­ve­yor-belt to the me­tal-eater in the nick of ti­me, rusty and whe­el­less. He'd ha­un­ted the me­tal-eater for months af­ter that, watc­hing for spa­re parts. The se­cu­rity ca­me­ras ro­und the me­tal-eater watc­hed him; or se­emed to watch him. They mo­ved cons­tantly, but you co­uld ne­ver tell if they we­re on auto­ma­tic.

    Anyway, he'd re­bu­ilt the bi­ke; resp­ra­yed it. Spent three months' unemp­loy­ment be­ne­fit on oil and aero­sols. Now it sho­ne, and got him ro­und from dist­rict to dist­rict. The dist­rict ga­te-po­li­ce didn't li­ke him whe­eling it thro­ugh, but it wasn't il­le­gal. The go­vern­ment hadn't bot­he­red ma­king bi­kes il­le­gal, just stop­ped pro­duc­ti­on al­to­get­her, inc­lu­ding spa­re parts. Cycling had im­per­cep­tibly di­ed out.

    You had to be ca­re­ful, tra­vel­ling from dist­rict to dist­rict. In so­me, the unemp­lo­yed threw sto­nes and wor­se. In ot­hers, it was sa­id, they strung up stran­gers from lamp-posts, as go­vern­ment spi­es. Tho­ugh that was pro­bably a ru­mo­ur spre­ad by the ga­te-po­li­ce. He'd ne­ver suf­fe­red mo­re than the odd, half-he­ar­ted sto­ne, even in the be­gin­ning. Now, they all knew his bi­ke, gat­he­red ro­und to get the news.

    But he'd tra­vel­led far that mor­ning, furt­her than ever be­fo­re, be­ca­use of the row with his fat­her.

    'Your cons­tant mo­aning ma­kes me sick,' the old man had sa­id, put­ting on his wor­ker's cap with the num­be­red brass bad­ge. 'I ke­ep you - you get free sport, free cont­ra­cep­ti­ves, free drugs and a twenty-chan­nel telly. You lie in bed till tea-ti­me. At yo­ur age…'

    'You had a job,' sho­uted Mar­tin. 'In 1981, at the age of six­te­en, you we­re gi­ven a job, which you still ha­ve.'

    'Some job. Two ho­urs a day. Fo­ur ti­mes in two ho­urs a blo­ody bell rings and I check a lo­ad of di­als and wri­te the num­bers in a bo­ok that no­body ne­eds and no­body re­ads. Call that a job for a tra­ined elect­ri­ci­an?'

    'You ha­ve a re­ason to get up in the mor­ning -ma­tes at work.'

    'Mates? I see the fo­re-shift when I clock on, and the back-shift when I clock off. My ne­arest ma­te is ten mi­nu­tes' walk away. Whe­re you go­ing?'

    'Out. On my bi­ke.'

    'You think you're so blo­ody cle­ver wi' that bi­ke. And yo­ur blo­ody wan­de­rings. Why can't you stay whe­re you we­re born, li­ke every­body el­se?'

    "Cos I'm not li­ke every­body el­se. And they're not go­ing to ma­ke me.'

    'You want to but­ton yo­ur lip, tal­king li­ke that. Or they'll he­ar you.'

    'Or you'll tell them.' Then Mar­tin saw the lo­ok on his fat­her's fa­ce and was sorry. The old man wo­uld ne­ver do a thing li­ke that. Not li­ke so­me fat­hers…

    

    He was still sta­ring at the card of­fe­ring the va­cancy when a blond kid ca­me out and spat on the pa­ve­ment with a lot of fe­eling.

    'Been ha­vin' a go?' as­ked Mar­tin mildly.

    'It's a con,' sa­id the kid. 'They set you an in­tel­li­gen­ce test that wo­uld sink the Pri­me Mi­nis­ter.' He was no slo­uch or lo­ut, eit­her. Still held him­self up­right; switc­hed-on blue eyes. Anot­her lost sixth-for­mer. 'Was­te of ti­me!'

    'I don't know…' sa­id Mar­tin. In scho­ol, he'd be­en rat­her sharp on in­tel­li­gen­ce tests.

    'Suit yo­ur­self,' sa­id the blond kid, and wal­ked away.

    Martin still he­si­ta­ted. Then it star­ted to ra­in, spat­te­ring his thin je­ans. That set­tled it. The grey af­ter­no­on lo­oked so po­int­less that even fa­iling an in­tel­li­gen­ce test so­un­ded a big thrill. So­me­ti­mes they ga­ve you cof­fee…

    He wal­ked in; the wo­man sit­ting knit­ting lo­oked up, bo­red, plump and gin­ger. Pa­le blue eyes swam be­hind her spec­tac­les li­ke ti­mid tro­pi­cal fish.

    'What's the va­cancy?'

    'Oh…just a ge­ne­ral va­cancy. Want to apply?'

    He shrug­ged. 'Why not?' She pas­sed him a bal­lpo­int and a many-pa­ged gre­en in­tel­li­gen­ce test.

    'Ready?' She clic­ked a stop­watch in­to ac­ti­on, and put it on the desk in front of her, as if she'd do­ne it a mil­li­on ti­mes be­fo­re. 'Forty mi­nu­tes.' He sig­hed with sa­tis­fac­ti­on as his bal­lpo­int sli­ced in­to the test. It was li­ke bi­ting a ham sand­wich, li­ke co­ming ho­me.

    

    An ho­ur la­ter, she was pus­hing back agi­ta­ted wisps of gin­ger ha­ir and spe­aking in­to the of­fi­ce in­ter­com, her vo­ice a squ­e­ak of ex­ci­te­ment, a ne­ar-mad glint in her blue tro­pi­cal-fish eyes.

    'Mr Bos­ton - I've just tes­ted a yo­ung man - a very high sco­re - a very high sco­re in­de­ed. Hig­hest sco­re in months.'

    'Contain yo­ur­self, Miss Fe­at­her. What is the sco­re?' It was a de­li­be­ra­tely dull vo­ice that not only kil­led her ex­ci­te­ment de­ad as a fal­ling pi­ge­on, but ma­de her pull down her pla­id skirt, al­re­ady well be­low her kne­es.

    'Four hund­red and ni­nety-eight, Mr Bos­ton.' 'Might be worth gi­ving him a PA 52. Yes, try him with a PA 52. We've not­hing bet­ter to do this af­ter­no­on.'

    PA 52 was twi­ce as thick as the ot­her one. As Mar­tin to­ok it, a lit­tle warm shi­ver trick­led down his spi­ne. Gra­ti­tu­de? To them? For what? Not re­j­ec­ting him out­right, li­ke the blond kid? He smas­hed down the gra­ti­tu­de with a he­avy me­tal fist; they'd only fa­il him furt­her on. They we­re just pla­ying with him. They had no job; the­re we­re no jobs. Still, he might as well get so­met­hing out of his mo­ment of tri­umph. 'Co­uld I ha­ve a cup of cof­fee? Be­fo­re I start?' 'Oh, I think we co­uld ma­na­ge a cup of cof­fee. You start, and I'll put it by yo­ur el­bow when it's re­ady.' She cluc­ked aro­und him li­ke she was an old mot­her hen, and he the only egg she'd ever la­id. Smo­othly, with a sen­se of as­cen­ding po­wer, he be­gan to cut thro­ugh PA 52.

    

    'Sit down,' sa­id Mr Bos­ton, ste­ep­ling long ni­co­ti­ned fin­gers. He con­sul­ted PA 52 slyly, slan­tingly. 'Erm… Mar­tin, isn't it?'

    'Mmmm,' sa­id Mar­tin. He tho­ught that Bos­ton, with his ne­ar-re­li­gi­o­us air of re­la­xed gu­ilt and pinst­ri­pe brown su­it (shiny at cuff and el­bow, and no do­ubt back­si­de, if back­si­de had be­en vi­sib­le) was mo­re li­ke a ca­re­ers of­fi­cer than any emp­lo­yer. Emp­lo­yers we­re much bet­ter dres­sed, ran fran­tic fin­gers thro­ugh the­ir ha­ir, and ex­pec­ted to ans­wer the pho­ne any mi­nu­te. Still, he'd only met two emp­lo­yers in his li­fe; they'd tur­ned him down be­fo­re he left scho­ol.

    'I see you're in­te­res­ted in wor­king with pe­op­le?'

    'Oh, yes, very,' sa­id Mar­tin, out­wardly eager, in­wardly moc­king. You we­re ta­ught in first-ye­ar al­ways to say you we­re ter­ribly ke­en on pe­op­le. Jobs with mac­hi­nery no lon­ger exis­ted; only com­pu­ters tal­ked to com­pu­ters now.

    'I see le­aders­hip po­ten­ti­al he­re.' Bos­ton pe­ered in­to PA 52 li­ke it was a crystal ball. 'A lot of le­aders­hip. Do you find it easy to per­su­ade ot­hers… yo­ur fri­ends… to do what you want?'

    'Oh yes.' Mar­tin tho­ught of the co­pi­es of his un­derg­ro­und news­pa­per, rol­led up and pus­hed down the hol­low tu­bes of his bi­ke, re­ady for dist­ri­bu­ti­on to the va­ri­o­us dist­ricts. Get­ting the news­pa­per te­am to­get­her had ta­ken a lot of per­su­asi­on. Per­su­ading pretty lit­tle girls to be the news-gat­he­rers, which me­ant sle­eping with grubby el­derly ci­vil ser­vants for the sa­ke of the­ir pil­low­talk. Get­ting the prin­ters, with the­ir old hand-ope­ra­ted cyclosty­ling mac­hi­ne, set up in a ma­kes­hift hut in the mid­dle of Rub­bish­tip 379, af­ter the spy-ca­me­ras, spra­yed da­ily with salt wa­ter, had rus­ted so­lid and sto­od help­less as stuf­fed birds. 'Yes, I find it easy to per­su­ade ot­hers to do what I want.'

    'Good,' sa­id Mr Bos­ton. He le­aned for­ward to his in­ter­com. 'Miss Fe­at­her - bring our fri­end Mar­tin he­re anot­her cup of cof­fee - the con­ti­nen­tal blend this ti­me, I think.' So­mew­he­re in the small ter­ra­ced bu­il­ding a lar­ge elect­ri­cal mac­hi­ne be­gan to hum, slightly but not unp­le­asantly vib­ra­ting the old walls. So­me per­co­la­tor, Mar­tin tho­ught, with a slight smi­le. He was al­re­ady star­ting to fe­el prop­ri­eto­ri­al, pat­ro­ni­zing abo­ut this old dump.

    Boston re-ste­ep­led his fin­gers, and slan­tingly con­sul­ted PA 52 aga­in. 'And bags of ini­ti­ati­ve… you're a go­od long way from ho­me, he­re. Fi­ve who­le dist­ricts. Ha­ve you wal­ked? You must be fit.'

    'I've got an old bicyc­le…'

    'A bi­ke? Bless my so­ul.' So gre­at was Bos­ton's surp­ri­se that he to­ok off his spec­tac­les, fol­ded the­ir arms ne­atly ac­ross each ot­her, and pop­ped them in­to the bre­ast-poc­ket of his su­it. He sur­ve­yed Mar­tin with na­ked eyes, can­did, we­ary and brown-edged as an old dog's. 'I ha­ven't se­en a bi­ke in ye­ars, tho­ugh I did my sha­re of ri­ding as a boy. Whe­re did you find this bi­ke?'

    'At the me­tal-eater. Had to bu­ild it up from bits.'

    Mr Bos­ton's ex­ci­te­ment was now so gre­at that he had to put his spec­tac­les on aga­in. 'Yes, yes, yo­ur mec­ha­ni­cal ap­ti­tu­de and ma­nu­al dex­te­rity show up he­re on PA 52. And yo­ur pa­ti­en­ce. But…' and his vo­ice fell li­ke the Telly pre­ac­her's when he ca­me to the Sins of the Flesh, 'it wasn't aw­ful­ly ho­nest, was it, ta­king that bi­ke away from the me­tal-eater? It al­re­ady be­lon­ged to the Sta­te…'

    Martin's he­art sank. This was the po­int whe­re the job in­ter­vi­ew fell apart. Even be­fo­re he got his se­cond cup of cof­fee. It had be­en go­ing so well… but he knew bet­ter than to try to pa­per over the cracks. He har­de­ned his he­art and got up.

    'Stuff the Sta­te,' he sa­id, watc­hing Bos­ton's eyes for the exp­res­si­on of shock that wo­uld be the last pay-off of this who­le lo­usy bu­si­ness.

    But Bos­ton didn't lo­oked shoc­ked. He to­ok off his spec­tac­les and wa­ved them; a lo­ok of bo­yish glee suf­fu­sed his fa­ce.

    'Stuff the Sta­te… exactly. Well, not exactly…' he cor­rec­ted him­self with an ef­fort. 'We all de­pend upon the Sta­te, but we know it isn't om­nis­ci­ent. To the men­der of was­hing-mac­hi­nes, the Sta­te sup­pli­es split-pins at a re­aso­nab­le pri­ce, wit­hin a re­aso­nab­le ti­me. But sup­po­se our supply of split-pins has run out al­re­ady; be­ca­use we imp­ru­dently neg­lec­ted to re­or­der in ti­me? We still want our split-pins now - even if we ha­ve to pay twi­ce the le­gal pri­ce. That is my… our… lit­tle bu­si­ness. Gre­asing the whe­els of Sta­te, as I al­ways tell my wi­fe (who is a di­rec­tor of our lit­tle firm).' He po­lis­hed his spec­tac­les ent­hu­si­as­ti­cal­ly with a lit­tle sta­ined brown cloth, ta­ken from his spec­tac­le-ca­se for the pur­po­se.

    'And if we get ca­ught?' as­ked Mar­tin; but his mo­od so­ared.

    'A he­avy fi­ne… the firm will pay. Or a short pri­son sen­ten­ce; that so­on pas­ses. We're com­mer­ci­al cri­mi­nals, not po­li­ti­cal. We do not wish to overth­row the Sta­te, only oil its whe­els, oil its whe­els. The Sta­te un­ders­tands this.'

    They eyed each ot­her. Mar­tin still tho­ught Bos­ton didn't talk li­ke a bu­si­nes­sman. But the chan­ces this firm of­fe­red… His own bed­sit­ter, per­haps a firm's van… bet­ter still, a chan­ce to smug­gle on his own be­half. Not just pa­per for the news­pa­per… per­haps high-gra­de ste­el tu­bing for guns. He lo­oked at Bos­ton do­ubt­ful­ly; jobs just didn't grow on tre­es li­ke this. Bos­ton lic­ked his lips, al­most ple­ading, li­ke an old spa­ni­el.

    'Sounds a go­od doss,' sa­id Mar­tin do­ubt­ful­ly.

    'Then you ac­cept the va­cancy? You're a most su­itab­le can­di­da­te.'

    Miss Fe­at­her ca­me in with the se­cond cup of cof­fee.

    'Will the­re be a chan­ce to tra­vel?' as­ked Mar­tin.

    'Almost im­me­di­ately,' sa­id Mr Bos­ton, and Miss Fe­at­her nod­ded in smi­ling ag­re­ement. 'We will ha­ve to pro­cess you now. Wo­uld you mind wa­iting in he­re?'

    The wa­iting-ro­om was tiny. Just eno­ugh ro­om for a bent­wo­od cha­ir, and a tof­fee-var­nis­hed rack con­ta­ining a few worn co­pi­es of the Sta­te ma­ga­zi­ne at the very end of the­ir li­fe. Mar­tin was surp­ri­sed any­body had ever bot­he­red to re­ad them; ever­yo­ne knew they we­re all glossy li­es. The­re was a stran­ge se­lec­ti­on of pos­ters on the walls - Fight To­oth De­cay, an ad­vert for the lo­cal mu­se­um of in­dust­ri­al se­wing-mac­hi­nes, and a tra­vel pos­ter fe­atu­ring an unk­nown tro­pi­cal is­land. Mar­tin won­de­red if his new job wo­uld ta­ke him anyw­he­re ne­ar the­re. His he­ad was whir­ling with the stran­ge drun­ken­ness of ac­cep­ting and be­ing ac­cep­ted. Blo­od po­un­ded all over his body. The vib­ra­ti­ons of that dam­ned mac­hi­ne we­re co­ming thro­ugh the wa­iting-ro­om walls, and go­ing right thro­ugh his he­ad. It so­un­ded a clap­ped-out mac­hi­ne, as if it was trying but wo­uld ne­ver ma­ke it.

    Too la­te, the tiny si­ze of the wa­iting-ro­om war­ned him; the op­pres­si­ve warmth. He pul­led at the clo­sed do­or, but it had no hand­le this si­de. He ham­me­red on it; he­avy me­tal.

    Then the­re was a crack of blue dark­ness in­si­de his he­ad. When he ope­ned his eyes aga­in, he was stan­ding in a ro­om exactly the sa­me si­ze, but wal­led with sta­in­less ste­el and exc­ru­ci­atingly cold. He shi­ve­red, but not just with cold.

    There was a gre­at ro­und win­dow set in the do­or. In the win­dow flo­ated the mo­on, only it was too big, pa­le blue and gre­en, scar­fed in a whi­te that co­uld only be clo­uds. Be­low we­re low whi­te hills li­ke ash-tips. Ne­arer, lying on the ashy so­il, what lo­oked li­ke he­aps of the stringy fro­zen chops you fo­und in the de­epf­re­eze of the most wretc­hed su­per­mar­kets. From among the he­aps, whi­te skulls watc­hed him, pa­ti­ently wa­iting.

    But much wor­se was the black sky, the to­tal­ly black sky. In which stars glo­wed hu­ge and in­can­des­cent, red, blue, yel­low, oran­ge. So­me pul­sed, at var­ying rhythms; ot­hers sho­ne ste­adily.

    'There!' Bos­ton's vo­ice ca­me from a gril­le abo­ve the do­or, crackly with ra­dio-sta­tic. 'The­re's yo­ur va­cancy, Mar­tin. Outer spa­ce. The big­gest va­cancy the­re is!' His vo­ice was al­most gent­le, al­most pro­ud, al­most ple­ading. 'Lo­ok yo­ur fill - I can only gi­ve you anot­her mi­nu­te.'

    Quite unab­le to think of anyt­hing el­se to do, Mar­tin con­ti­nu­ed to ga­ze at the pul­sing stars. Then the do­or of the cap­su­le slid asi­de. His body, suc­ked out­wards by the va­cu­um, tur­ning slowly in the low gra­vity, exp­lo­ded in half-a-do­zen pla­ces in ra­pid suc­ces­si­on. The for­ce of the exp­lo­si­ons shot out gre­at clo­uds of red va­po­ur that sank swiftly to the sur­fa­ce of the whi­te ash. Con­ti­nu­ing exp­lo­si­ons dro­ve his di­sin­teg­ra­ting body ac­ross the mo­unds of his pre­de­ces­sors li­ke an er­ra­tic fi­re-crac­ker. Then, in­dis­tin­gu­is­hab­le from the rest of the he­aps, ex­cept for its fresh red­ness, it set­tled to the fre­eze-drying, va­cu­um-drying of to­tal va­cancy.

    

    'It al­ways se­ems to me a pity,' sa­id Mr Bos­ton, 'that anyt­hing as won­der­ful as the Mo­on Te­le­port sho­uld ha­ve be­en re­du­ced to this use. We co­uld ha­ve con­qu­ered spa­ce, if we'd only dis­co­ve­red how to bring pe­op­le back. Now it's no mo­re than a gar­ba­ge-dis­po­sal unit.'

    'I al­ways fe­el so flat af­ter­wards,' sa­id Miss Fe­at­her. She lif­ted a fa­ded print of Cons­tab­le's Hay­wa­in from the wall, re­ve­aling a row of sta­in­less-ste­el but­tons and a di­gi­tal re­ad-out in gre­en.

    

11,075,019

    

    She tap­ped the but­tons ra­pidly. The num­ber went down one.

    

11,075,018

    

    Then re­su­med its ine­xo­rab­le climb.

    

11,075,019

11,075,021

    

    Miss Fe­at­her ga­ve a slight shud­der of dis­tas­te, and rep­la­ced The Hay­wa­in.

    'Pity we can't send them all that way.' She pres­sed her ha­irsty­le back in­to pla­ce with the aid of her com­pact-mir­ror.

    'Do you know how much it costs to send one to the mo­on?' as­ked Bos­ton. 'No, -we can only send the dan­ge­ro­us ones. The ones that qu­alify for the va­cancy.'

    'Was he, dan­ge­ro­us?'

    'He might ha­ve be­co­me so. In­tel­li­gen­ce, le­aders­hip, ini­ti­ati­ve, mo­bi­lity, in­ge­nu­ity, cu­ri­osity - all the war­ning signs we­re the­re. It do­esn't pay to be sen­ti­men­tal, Miss Fe­at­her - I be­li­eve yo­ung ti­ger-cubs are qu­ite cud­dle­ab­le in the­ir first we­eks of li­fe. Ne­vert­he­less, they be­co­me ti­gers. We re­mo­ve the ti­ger-cubs so that the rest, the she­ep, may sa­fely gra­ze, as one might put it. I only fe­ar we might not catch eno­ugh ti­ger-cubs in ti­me. The yo­ung ke­ep on co­ming li­ke an ine­xo­rab­le flo­od, wan­ting what the­ir fat­hers and grand­fat­hers had. They co­uld swe­ep us away.'

    They sat lo­oking at each ot­her, in mildly dep­res­sed si­len­ce.

    'That bicyc­le was a su­re sign,' sa­id Bos­ton at last. 'Most ori­gi­nal - first I've se­en in ye­ars. Ori­gi­na­lity is al­ways a dan­ger. I'd bet­ter get the bi­ke off the stre­et, be­fo­re it's no­ti­ced. Ring the me­tal-eater pe­op­le, will you?'

    Miss Fe­at­her rang; put the ket­tle on for anot­her cup of cof­fee. Mr Bos­ton ca­me back empty-han­ded, per­tur­bed.

    'It's go­ne. So­me­one's ta­ken it.'

    'A sne­ak-thi­ef?'

    'Then he's a very stu­pid sne­ak-thi­ef,' sa­id Bos­ton sa­va­gely. 'Ste­aling a uni­que obj­ect he'd ne­ver da­re ri­de in pub­lic'

    'You don't think one of his fri­ends… sho­uld we ring for the po­li­ce?' Her hand went to the neck­la­ce ro­und, her thro­at, ner­vo­usly.

    'To re­port the theft of a bicyc­le that didn't be­long to us in the first pla­ce? They'd think that pretty ir­re­gu­lar. They'd want to know whe­re our yo­ung fri­end Mar­tin had got to…'

    'Shall we ring the Mi­nistry?'

    'My de­ar Miss Fe­at­her, they'd think we we­re lo­sing our ner­ve. You don't fancy pre­ma­tu­re re­ti­re­ment, do you?'

    She pa­led. He nod­ded, sa­tis­fi­ed. 'Then I think we'd bet­ter just sit it out.'

    Facing each ot­her with a gro­wing si­lent une­ase, as the light fa­ded in the grubby stre­et out­si­de, they set­tled down to wa­it.

    

    

4/ Guy de Maupassant - The Twitch

    

    The din­ner gu­ests strol­led in­to the ho­tel di­ning-ro­om and sat down in the­ir pla­ces. The wa­iters ser­ved them slowly at first to al­low the la­te-co­mers ti­me to ar­ri­ve so that they wo­uldn't ha­ve to go back for mo­re pla­tes. And the ol­der bat­hers, the re­gu­lars who had al­re­ady be­en he­re for much of the se­ason, watc­hed with in­te­rest each ti­me the do­or ope­ned and clo­sed, an­xi­o­us to see new fa­ces ap­pe­ar.

    This is the one big event in a he­alth re­sort.

    We all wa­it un­til din­ner to si­ze up the new ar­ri­vals, to gu­ess who they are, what they do, what they think. A sing­le de­si­re prowls thro­ugh our ima­gi­na­ti­on. It is the ho­pe of me­eting so­me­one, of be­co­ming fri­endly with them, even per­haps of fal­ling in lo­ve. In a world whe­re you're for ever rub­bing sho­ul­ders with comp­le­te stran­gers, the pe­op­le next to you ta­ke on an ext­ra im­por­tan­ce. Yo­ur cu­ri­osity is awa­ke­ned, yo­ur fel­low-fe­eling is shar­pe­ned and yo­ur de­si­re to be fri­endly is hard at work.

    In a he­alth spa you form se­ri­o­us, long-las­ting re­la­ti­ons­hips fas­ter than just abo­ut anyw­he­re el­se. You see ever­yo­ne all day long and get to know them very qu­ickly. And each new fri­ends­hip co­mes comp­le­te with a sen­se of ease and in­for­ma­lity as if you've known each ot­her for ye­ars. It's a won­der­ful fe­eling to open yo­ur he­art to so­me­one who se­ems to be ope­ning the­irs to you.

    And the glo­omi­ness of a he­alth spa, the bo­re­dom of so many days that are all the sa­me, en­su­res that a new fri­ends­hip is hatc­hed each and every ho­ur.

    

    That eve­ning, li­ke every eve­ning, we we­re wa­iting for the ar­ri­val of so­me­one new.

    Only two pe­op­le ca­me and they we­re very stran­ge, a man and a wo­man; fat­her and da­ugh­ter. They re­min­ded me, stra­ight away, of cha­rac­ters from Ed­gar Al­len Poe; and yet the­re was a sort of charm abo­ut them, a fe­eling of sad­ness. I tho­ught they might be the vic­tims of a be­re­ave­ment. The man was very tall and thin, slightly bent. His ha­ir was comp­le­tely whi­te, too whi­te - for his fa­ce was still yo­ung. And the­re was so­met­hing gra­ve both in the way he car­ri­ed him­self and in his cha­rac­ter; a grim­ness you wo­uld usu­al­ly as­so­ci­ate with pro­tes­tants. His da­ugh­ter, aged twenty-fo­ur or twenty-fi­ve, was small, as thin as him, very pa­le, with an ap­pe­aran­ce that was empty, ti­red, we­ig­hed down. You may ha­ve met pe­op­le li­ke the­se: too we­ak to hand­le the ca­res and ne­ces­si­ti­es of li­fe, too we­ak to get on with things, to go out and do the things that ha­ve to be do­ne. She was al­so pretty, this yo­ung girl. She had the pa­le be­a­uty of a ghost. And she ate with ter­rib­le slow­ness as if she was vir­tu­al­ly unab­le to mo­ve her arms.

    It had to be her who had co­me he­re to ta­ke the wa­ters.

    The two of them hap­pe­ned to sit op­po­si­te me, on the ot­her si­de of the tab­le, and I no­ti­ced im­me­di­ately that the fat­her had a most pe­cu­li­ar ner­vo­us twitch.

    Each ti­me he wan­ted to re­ach out for so­met­hing, his hand desc­ri­bed a sna­ke's ton­gue, ma­king a crazy zig-zag mo­ve­ment be­fo­re it ma­na­ged to get what it wan­ted. The mo­ve­ment an­no­yed me so much that af­ter a few mo­ments I tur­ned my he­ad away so that I wo­uldn't ha­ve to see it.

    I al­so no­ti­ced that the yo­ung wo­man kept, even as she ate, one glo­ve on her left hand.

    After din­ner, I went for a walk ro­und the park that was part of the spa. It was very hot, that eve­ning. I was wal­king up and down a sha­dowy path, lis­te­ning to the ca­si­no band as it struck up a tu­ne from the top of a hill that over­lo­oked the park.

    And then I saw, co­ming to­wards me at a slow pa­ce, the fat­her and da­ugh­ter. 1 nod­ded at them, the way you nod at any fel­low-gu­est in a he­alth re­sort; and the man, sud­denly stop­ping, as­ked, 'Co­uld you, Mon­si­e­ur, show us a walk that is as short, easy and as pretty as pos­sib­le - if you'll ex­cu­se my in­ter­rup­ting you.'

    I of­fe­red to le­ad them to the lit­tle val­ley whe­re a slen­der ri­ver flows. The val­ley is de­ep, a nar­row gor­ge bet­we­en two rocky and wo­oded es­carp­ments.

    They ac­cep­ted.

    And na­tu­ral­ly we tal­ked abo­ut the vir­tue of ta­king the wa­ters.

    'My da­ugh­ter,' he told me, 'has a stran­ge il­lness -we don't know the ca­use. She suf­fers from in­comp­re­hen­sib­le ner­vo­us di­sor­ders. So­me­ti­mes they think it's her he­art, so­me­ti­mes her li­ver, so­me­ti­mes her spi­nal mar­row. Now they say it's her sto­mach. That's why we're he­re. Me, I'm mo­re of the opi­ni­on that it's her ner­ves. In any ca­se, it's very sad.'

    Suddenly I re­mem­be­red the vi­olent twitch of his hand and I as­ked him, 'Co­uldn't she ha­ve in­he­ri­ted her il­lness from you? Don't you ha­ve a ner­vo­us con­di­ti­on?'

    He rep­li­ed qu­i­etly. 'Me? No - my ner­ves ha­ve al­ways be­en fi­ne.'

    But then, af­ter a pa­use, he went on. 'Ah! You're re­fer­ring to the way my hand twitc­hes every ti­me I want to ta­ke so­met­hing? That's the re­sult of a ter­rib­le ex­pe­ri­en­ce I on­ce had. Be­li­eve it or not - this yo­ung girl was on­ce bu­ri­ed ali­ve!'

    I co­uld find not­hing to say ex­cept an 'Ah!' of surp­ri­se and emo­ti­on. He went on:

    

    Here is my story. It is very stra­ight­for­ward. Juli­et­te had suf­fe­red he­art mur­murs for so­me ti­me. We tho­ught her he­art was di­se­ased and we we­re pre­pa­red for the worst.

    One cold day we fo­und her un­cons­ci­o­us, de­ad. She had just fal­len over in the gar­den. The doc­tor sa­id that she was de­ce­ased. I sto­od watch over her for a day and two nights; I pla­ced her myself in her cof­fin, which I ac­com­pa­ni­ed as far as the ce­me­tery whe­re it was pla­ced in our fa­mily tomb. This was in the mid­dle of the co­untry­si­de, in Lor­ra­ine.

    I had wan­ted her to be bu­ri­ed with her jewels, her bra­ce­lets, neck­la­ces, rings - all pre­sents she had be­en gi­ven by me - and in her first ball-gown.

    You can ima­gi­ne the sta­te of my he­art and so­ul on re­tur­ning to my ho­me. I had not­hing but her, my wi­fe ha­ving di­ed a long ti­me be­fo­re. I re­tur­ned alo­ne to my bed­ro­om, half-mad, ex­ha­us­ted, and col­lap­sed in­to my armc­ha­ir, my mind empty, wit­ho­ut the strength to mo­ve. I was not­hing mo­re than a fra­me­work of mi­sery, tremb­ling, fla­yed ali­ve. My so­ul was li­ke an open wo­und.

    My old ser­vant, Pros­per, who had hel­ped me pla­ce Juli­et­te in her cof­fin and to pre­pa­re her for her last sle­ep, en­te­red so­und­les­sly and as­ked, 'Mon­si­e­ur, do you wish to eat or drink so­met­hing?'

    I sho­ok my he­ad wit­ho­ut repl­ying.

    'Monsieur is ma­king a mis­ta­ke,' he tri­ed aga­in. 'Mon­si­e­ur will ma­ke him­self ill. Wo­uld Mon­si­e­ur li­ke me to put him to bed?'

    I sa­id, 'No. Le­ave me.'

    And he went.

    How the ho­urs slid past, I don't know. Oh! What a night! What a night! It was cold; my fi­re had go­ne out in the ma­in fi­rep­la­ce and the wind, a win­ter wind, a fro­zen wind, a gre­at wind full of ice, knoc­ked aga­inst the win­dows with a si­nis­ter, re­pe­ti­ti­ve so­und.

    How did the ho­urs sli­de past? I sat the­re, not sle­eping, we­ig­hed down, over­po­we­red, my eyes open, my legs stretc­hed out, my body po­wer­less, de­ad and my spi­rit fil­led with des­pa­ir. Sud­denly, the gre­at bell by the front do­or, the gre­at bell of the ent­ran­ce hall rang out.

    I star­ted so sud­denly that the se­at crac­ked be­ne­ath me. The so­und, slow and he­avy, shud­de­red thro­ugh the empty ho­use as if thro­ugh a ca­ve. I tur­ned ro­und to lo­ok at the ti­me on the clock. It was two o'clock in the mor­ning. Who wo­uld want to vi­sit at that ho­ur?

    And then the bell rang out twi­ce mo­re. The ser­vants, no do­ubt, we­re too af­ra­id to get up. I to­ok a cand­le and went down. 'Who is the­re?' I al­most as­ked.

    But then, as­ha­med of my we­ak­ness, I slowly drew back the he­avy bolts. My he­art was be­ating. I was af­ra­id. With a sud­den mo­ve­ment I ope­ned the do­or and saw in the sha­dow a whi­te form stan­ding the­re a lit­tle li­ke a ghost.

    I drew back, crip­pled with fe­ar, stam­me­ring, 'Who… who… who are you?'

    A vo­ice rep­li­ed, 'It is me, Fat­her.'

    It was my da­ugh­ter.

    Certainly, I tho­ught I'd go­ne mad. I was re­eling back­wards as the phan­tom ad­van­ced; I was mo­ving back­wards, ma­king the sa­me ges­tu­re with my hand to cha­se it away that you saw a short whi­le ago; that ges­tu­re has ne­ver left me.

    The ghost con­ti­nu­ed, 'Don't be af­ra­id, Fat­her. I was not de­ad. So­me­body wan­ted to ste­al my rings and cut off one of my fin­gers. My blo­od be­gan to flow and it was that that wo­ke me up.'

    And I saw that in­de­ed she was co­ve­red in blo­od.

    I fell to my kne­es, suf­fo­ca­ting, sob­bing, gas­ping for bre­ath.

    Then, when I had col­lec­ted my tho­ughts a lit­tle - I was so be­wil­de­red that I ba­rely un­ders­to­od the ter­rib­le go­od for­tu­ne that had co­me my way - I ma­de her co­me up to my bed­ro­om, ma­de her sit in my armc­ha­ir. Then I rang vi­olently for Pros­per to get him to re­light the fi­re, pre­pa­re a drink, and go for help.

    The man en­te­red, saw my da­ugh­ter, ope­ned his mo­uth in a spasm of dis­may and of hor­ror, then fell over ri­gid, de­ad, on his back.

    It had be­en he who had en­te­red the tomb, who had mu­ti­la­ted, then aban­do­ned my child; for he was unab­le to wi­pe out the tra­ces of his cri­me. He hadn't even ta­ken ca­re to rep­la­ce the lid on the cof­fin, cer­ta­in that he wo­uld not be sus­pec­ted by me - I who had al­ways trus­ted him.

    You see, Mon­si­e­ur, that we are in­de­ed two un­hap­py pe­op­le.

    

    He fell si­lent.

    Night had co­me, wrap­ping it­self aro­und the lo­nely, sad lit­tle val­ley. A stran­ge sort of fe­ar to­ok hold of me, ma­king me fe­el clo­se to the­se stran­ge pe­op­le; this de­ad girl back from the gra­ve and this fat­her with his dre­ad­ful twitch.

    I co­uld find not­hing to say. I mur­mu­red, 'What a hor­rib­le thing…!'

    Then, af­ter a mi­nu­te, I ad­ded, 'Why don't we go back? It's get­ting chilly.'

    And we re­tur­ned to the ho­tel.

    

    

5/ Laurence Staig – Freebies

    

    The old one-eyed Chi­na­man who sto­od in the mar­ket pla­ce was gi­ving them away. He wasn't gi­ving them to qu­ite ever­yo­ne tho­ugh. Just pe­op­le who to­ok his fancy, and who sa­id ni­ce things abo­ut the pi­le of old junk that he was sel­ling from his stall. The old man ap­pe­ared to li­ke kids, and was ac­ting up li­ke so­me we­ird ori­en­tal San­ta Cla­us.

    Dad had bo­ught a wok from him, for Mum; it was go­ing to be a Christ­mas pre­sent. I'd ha­ve pre­fer­red to go to Ha­bi­tat, then you knew whe­re it'd be­en, but Dad wan­ted to be his usu­al 'gras­sro­ots' self and buy the thing from the pe­op­le who knew, re­al­ly knew, abo­ut woks.

    Dad re­al­ly can be a bo­ring old fart so­me­ti­mes.

    I wasn't so su­re that Mum wo­uld know what to do with the thing any­how, or whet­her or not she even wan­ted one. Her mind wo­uld be on ot­her things this ye­ar, it be­ing the first one wit­ho­ut Gran­nie.

    So I en­ded up be­ing drag­ged aro­und Chi­na­town, in the mid­dle of dirty smelly old So­ho, on a busy Sa­tur­day af­ter­no­on, just to get a pi­ece of aut­hen­tic Chi­ne­se frying pan!

    The old Chi­na­man ga­ve me the cre­eps. A wrink­led pru­ne of a fa­ce, with gre­en te­eth in a gap-fil­led mo­uth, which gas­ped hot sta­le bre­ath when he bent down to whis­per in my ear.

    'Please ta­ke it,' he grin­ned, 'for you. It is pre­sent. For you, how you call it? A fre­ebie. With every twenty wok I sell to­day, a fre­ebie. Yes, it is go­od, eh?'

    He had to be joking, and what a co­in­ci­den­ce.

    How'd he know abo­ut my lit­tle hobby, any­how?

    It didn't mat­ter, I'd got anot­her one for the col­lec­ti­on.

    I lo­oked at the lit­tle black plas­tic box with the dang­ling chro­me cha­in. He must ha­ve re­ad ray mind and I co­uld cer­ta­inly re­ad Dad's. He just gro­aned. You see, I had a thing abo­ut 'gi­ve-aways'. Col­lec­ted them all the ti­me, out of bre­ak­fast ce­re­al pac­kets, from pet­rol sta­ti­ons when we got pet­rol, su­per­mar­kets, anyw­he­re re­al­ly.

    I just li­ked them, li­ke lit­tle trop­hi­es. Fre­ebi­es, as the man sa­id.

    'What is it?' I as­ked.

    'It do­esn't mat­ter,' sa­id Dad thro­ugh clenc­hed te­eth, 'it's kind of the gent­le­man to gi­ve us anyt­hing at all.'

    'It cle­ver key-ring,' sa­id the Chi­na­man, 'instruc­ti­ons in lit­tle pa­nel, whe­re bat­tery go. Bat­te­ri­es not inc­lu­ded. You li­ke? I sell you pac­ket, he­re. Spe­ci­al pri­ce to you of one po­und ni­nety pen­ce.'

    A le­at­hery hand un­fol­ded to re­ve­al a pac­ket of di­gi­tal watch bat­te­ri­es, pro­du­ced from now­he­re li­ke a card in a ma­gi­ci­an's card trick.

    Dad's fa­ce twitc­hed. I snig­ge­red.

    'Crafty old sod,' I sa­id to myself, 'he's just got Dad to shell out on a co­up­le of bat­te­ri­es that he wasn't ex­pec­ting to ha­ve to buy.'

    Dad ga­ve him what he so­me­ti­mes cal­led one of his 'old-fas­hi­oned' lo­oks and pres­sed two po­und co­ins in­to the Chi­na­man's palm.

    The hand clo­sed.

    The old man wis­hed Dad a happy Christ­mas, and tur­ned to ser­ve anot­her cus­to­mer who was in­te­res­ted in a wok set.

    We didn't even get the chan­ge.

    That Chi­na­man was smar­ter than he lo­oked.

    Dad, de­ci­ded that we sho­uld walk to Tra­fal­gar Squ­are and per­haps ta­ke a bus or ta­xi back to Brix­ton. He still wan­ted to po­ke aro­und in a few shops, just in ca­se he saw so­met­hing el­se he fan­ci­ed.

    'We've got to help Mary thro­ugh Christ­mas now that Edith won't be with us this ye­ar. You know how de­pen­dent she was on the old bat -' he cor­rec­ted him­self, 'the old de­ar. Help her to ta­ke her mind off things, OK?'

    He win­ked at me. I smi­led back to ke­ep him happy.

    Hypocrite. I knew what he re­al­ly tho­ught abo­ut Gran­nie.

    I ha­ted it, too, when he cal­led Mum Mary, so fa­mi­li­ar, as tho­ugh I was one of the­ir wally 'drinks party' fri­ends ins­te­ad of a kid, and I co­uld ne­ver get used to Gran­nie be­ing cal­led by her first na­me. It wasn't right. As far as I was con­cer­ned Gran­nie was Gran­nie, and she'd al­ways be­en aro­und.

    'You're gro­wing up now, Sa­rah,' he'd sa­id to me on­ce, 'you must start to be­ha­ve mo­re li­ke an adult. I al­so think it's abo­ut ti­me you stop­ped pla­ying with all tho­se stu­pid gim­micky toys you lit­ter yo­ur ro­om with.'

    He al­ways went on and on abo­ut how we we­re sla­ves of the 'con­su­mer so­ci­ety' as he cal­led it, and how I was a mind­less ding­bat to go along with it all.

    That was a joke co­ming from a mid­dle-aged blo­ke who tho­ught he was re­al­ly IT.

    Me? I just li­ked fre­ebi­es, that was all.

    Dad ha­ted the fact that the old Chi­ne­se pru­ne had gi­ven me anot­her toy. The joke was on him tho­ugh: he'd bo­ught me the bat­te­ri­es to go with it!

    As we wal­ked down Cha­ring Cross Ro­ad I tur­ned the lit­tle plas­tic tag ca­se over in my hand. I won­de­red at first why a key-ring ne­eded bat­te­ri­es, but then I re­ali­zed what it was.

    In gold let­te­ring on one si­de was a li­ne of Chi­ne­se let­ters; be­ne­ath that in Eng­lish it simply sa­id 'Chang's Qu­ality Woks, Bre­wer Stre­et, Lon­don, Eng­land (ma­in dist­ri­bu­tors)'.

    On the ot­her si­de of the tag it sa­id 'Key-Fin­der'.

    The lit­tle yel­low pa­per stuf­fed in­si­de the ba­se exp­la­ined it all in sen­ten­ces my te­ac­her wo­uldn't ha­ve li­ked: Kee-Fin­der will net­her let yuu down if ke­es yuu lo­se or mis­lay. Just whist­le. If yor keys are wit­hin a 30' ra­di­os our tag will im­med­di­ately re­turn call with a se­re­es of cle­re to­nes.

    It was one of tho­se lost-key lo­ca­tors. I was re­al­ly ple­ased.

    I co­uldn't wa­it to try it out.

    Dad wan­ted to go in­to a bo­oks­hop ne­ar the Na­ti­onal Gal­lery, 'Bet­ter Bo­oks'. He wan­ted to get Mum (or Mary) anot­her pre­sent. I fol­lo­wed him in whi­le trying to fit the pill-sha­ped bat­te­ri­es in­to the ba­se of the key tag.

    The shop was jam-pac­ked. Christ­mas shop­pers, co­okery bo­oks and pic­tu­res of the Ro­yal Fa­mily everyw­he­re.

    A lady in the shop, with glas­ses and a bun on the back of her ha­ir, pin­ned a big ro­und yel­low bad­ge on my co­at la­pel. She as­ked me if I li­ked bo­oks and wis­hed me happy Christ­mas. The­re was a mi­ni­atu­re bo­ok stuck in the cent­re of the bad­ge, the si­ze of a pos­ta­ge stamp. It ope­ned, with pa­ges li­ke a re­al bo­ok. Abo­ve this was the mes­sa­ge: Bet­ter bo­oks are Bet­ter!

    It was a re­al­ly go­od fre­ebie. I hadn't se­en one li­ke that be­fo­re.

    Dad to­ok my bad­ge off when he saw it, and slap­ped it down on the co­un­ter. The lady with the bun gla­red at him.

    Dad (or Jim if we're in­to pa­rent-spe­ak), was get­ting him­self all wor­ked up aga­in. Mumb­ling abo­ut me be­ing an easy tar­get, a suc­ker for it all.

    He bo­ught a hi-fi ma­ga­zi­ne on the way out of the shop, and the­re was a fre­ebie stuck to the co­ver with a bit of Sel­lo­ta­pe. A Hi-fi Ca­se­bo­ok pen­cil shar­pe­ner. It was cle­ver. A lit­tle plas­tic com­pact disc with the shar­pe­ner on the ot­her si­de of the spind­le ho­le. On the way ho­me he ne­ver lif­ted his he­ad out of his pre­ci­o­us hi-fi ma­ga­zi­ne on­ce! Typi­cal. He's just as much of a con­su­mer-he­ad as ever­yo­ne el­se!

    He wo­uldn't let me whist­le on the bus, but when we got off at Brix­ton Hill I tri­ed to get the Key-Fin­der to work.

    So I whist­led. I whist­led at it, whist­led in it, prac­ti­cal­ly to­ok the thing apart. Not­hing.

    Dad got mad, which was re­al­ly iro­nic con­si­de­ring all the fuss he'd be­en ma­king abo­ut the thing, sa­id he'd a mind to go all the way back to So­ho and gi­ve the man his bat­te­ri­es back.

    I wasn't that bot­he­red. Af­ter all, it had be­en free, it lo­oked pretty and I co­uld still put my keys on it if I wan­ted to.

    But I had anot­her idea, anot­her use for it.

    'Are you go­ing to chuck it?' as­ked Dad as we tur­ned in­to our dri­ve, past the dust­bins.

    I sho­ok my he­ad.

    Dad stop­ped and tur­ned on his he­els. A sing­le fin­ger was lif­ted.

    I'm war­ning you, are you lis­te­ning, yo­ung lady? You le­ave Dylan alo­ne, he's got a hard eno­ugh li­fe as it is trying to sur­vi­ve in the Brix­ton Hill gar­dens with all that ot­her non­sen­se you've fi­xed on the po­or lit­tle de­vil's col­lar!'

    I just smi­led, po­li­tely, and then sho­ved the key tag de­ep in­to ray co­at poc­ket. Dad co­uld be such a pa­in.

    Dylan was scratc­hing him­self on the porch mat as we wal­ked up the path.

    The front do­or ope­ned. Mum (or Mary) sto­od in the do­or­way.

    She didn't lo­ok go­od. I sig­hed.

    

    Dad (or Jim) was ma­king ca­us­tic com­ments in the li­ving-ro­om abo­ut how the Christ­mas bo­oze se­emed to be pre­ma­tu­rely lo­we­ring its le­vel. The sur­fa­ce li­ne in the lar­ge bot­tle of Gor­don's, which sat on the Ha­bi­tat trol­ley, was cer­ta­inly ne­aring the bot­tom.

    Even I no­ti­ced that.

    But then aga­in, Mum was dep­res­sed.

    I spent my ti­me out in the kitc­hen trying to ma­ke the key tag work, but it wo­uldn't gi­ve out so much as a pe­ep. Dylan had strug­gled in­to the kitc­hen too.

    Mum and Dad we­re ro­wing aga­in and Dylan wan­ted to get out of the­ir way.

    I didn't bla­me him.

    Dad was ma­king the usu­al fuss abo­ut how she had to pull her­self to­get­her, she'd a fa­mily (and him) to lo­ok af­ter, just be­ca­use Edith's num­ber had co­me up we didn't ha­ve to spend the en­ti­re Christ­mas in mo­ur­ning.

    Then he thre­ate­ned to re-con­vert the gran­nie-flat which we'd had bu­ilt next to the gar­den shed. He'd al­ways thre­ate­ned to ma­ke it in­to an out­do­or aqu­ari­um.

    Ah well.

    And my new fre­ebie didn't work.

    Dylan pur­red smugly down at me from the top of the bo­iler. His he­ad was lo­we­red from the we­ight of his gre­at col­lec­ti­on of Cat Con­su­mab­les. Mum cal­led him our 'Con­su­mer Kitty'.

    I at­tac­hed the key tag to his col­lar along with the ot­her fre­ebi­es:

    

    his Kat­to-Kip­per per­so­na­li­zed na­me disc

    plastic Bur­ger King bun

    miniature Co­ca-Co­la bot­tle

    Holiday Inn ro­om tag

    MHI lug­ga­ge la­bel

    Kellogg's Munch­kin Man

    and a Dr Who Ener­gi­zer ring which wrap­ped aro­und his neck.

    

    That had be­en a spe­ci­al 'gi­ve-away' at the Arn­da­le Shop­ping Cent­re in Croy­don; he li­ked that best of all.

    Dylan ope­ned his sle­epy eyes and stretc­hed his paws and sho­ok his new toy. Then, with a lo­ud mi­a­ow, pro­bably a 'thank you', he ma­de for the kitc­hen do­or. His fre­ebi­es cras­hed in­to the cat flap on his way out.

    In the li­ving-ro­om they we­re still ro­wing.

    Dad's vo­ice was get­ting re­al­ly lo­ud.

    Outside ca­me the rumb­le of an ap­pro­ac­hing car. I sud­denly had a bad fe­eling.

    I he­ard Mum's glass smash at al­most the sa­me ti­me as we he­ard the scre­ech of bra­kes out in the front ro­ad.

    There was an aw­ful short tang­led wa­il. The kind of so­und cats ma­ke when they scrap. Then si­len­ce.

    I he­ard Dad yell, 'Oh my God, no!' Dad can be 50 dra­ma­tic.

    

    Yesterday was mi­se­rab­le: black and so­lemn.

    Dad bla­med me. He was re­al­ly mad. But it was go­od of him to dig Dylan a ni­ce ne­at gra­ve out in the back gar­den.

    He kept mut­te­ring abo­ut how the­re had be­en far too much on his col­lar, and how the whist­ling key­ring had be­en the fi­nal straw. Just slo­wed him down, so when he'd run ac­ross the stre­et he was an easy tar­get.

    Mum told him to shut up, that he'd up­set 'the child'.

    'The child' in­de­ed. I just ig­no­red her.

    We put Dylan in the soft so­il whe­re Mum had plan­ted the Hob­son's Gar­den Cent­re ro­ses, just in front of the gran­nie-flat.

    We bu­ri­ed him with full ho­no­urs, all his toys in­tact. I'd wan­ted the key-ring back, just as a so­uve­nir, but Mum was al­most sick when Dad tri­ed to find it. It was li­ke pic­king a fa­vo­uri­te straw­ber­ry out of a col­lap­sed flan.

    She cal­led me a funny word. I didn't know what it me­ant, but I didn't li­ke the so­und of it at all.

    A gho­ul?

    You can go off pa­rents.

    

    Sleep was very dif­fi­cult that night, in fact everyt­hing was a funny blur. The air in my bed­ro­om se­emed thick and it was dif­fi­cult even to bre­at­he.

    I ope­ned the dor­mer win­dow and lo­oked down in­to the gar­den.

    It was dark and cold, but win­ter cle­ar out­si­de.

    A grey clo­ud pas­sed over, and the grass in front of the gran­nie-flat ref­lec­ted mo­ong­low on­ce mo­re.

    The gar­den sho­ne.

    A newly he­aped pi­le of top­so­il mar­ked the spot. I had scratc­hed Dylan's na­me on a co­ke can, and fi­xed it in the gro­und, a tem­po­rary tombs­to­ne.

    The TV of­fer pe­acock wind-chi­me which hung wit­hin the win­dow-fra­me sang softly as a gent­le wind got up.

    A last go­od­night to Dylan.

    I shi­ve­red and scramb­led back to bed.

    I must ha­ve for­got­ten to clo­se the win­dow be­ca­use I re­mem­ber the so­unds well. So bright. Icy sharp.

    There was the rust­le and flut­ter of fe­at­hers aga­inst branc­hes.

    A low warb­ling so­und, and then a sing­le ho­ot.

    It was our owl, and he had co­me to spe­ak to Dylan.

    He'd start­led me. Thro­ugh half-clo­sed eyes I watc­hed as the sha­dows of the branc­hes shim­me­red ac­ross the bed­ro­om wall. Tang­ling in­to twis­ted claws.

    Dylan wo­uld sit for ho­urs on the win­dow-led­ge. The owl ca­me of­ten. Dad sa­id that it was unu­su­al to find a bird li­ke that in Brix­ton.

    Dylan and the owl we­re fri­ends. But now he'd ha­ve to find so­me­body el­se.

    I pul­led the she­et up tight to my neck, eye­lids he­avy with sle­ep.

    There was a high-pitc­hed whist­le out­si­de.

    The owl was pre­pa­ring to fly from the tree.

    It sho­ok its fe­at­hers and then let out a stran­ge kind of 'ho­ot'.

    And then anot­her… it was re­al­ly scary.

    Almost a whist­le.

    Just af­ter that I he­ard a strang­led muf­fled growl, far away, from de­ep be­ne­ath the still cold earth.

    I sank and sank, down and down, in­to the soft­ness of dre­am.

    My eyes we­re not qu­ite clo­sed. Not yet. But I knew.

    From the dis­tan­ce the owl cri­ed out on­ce mo­re. I co­uldn't do a thing. Co­uldn't even mo­ve. I didn't know if I was awa­ke or dre­aming.

    There was a fa­mi­li­ar scratc­hing on the bark of the tree out­si­de my win­dow. A slow and per­haps pa­in­ful kind of shif­ting.

    The sha­dows of branch claws tremb­led ac­ross the wall as so­met­hing pul­led it­self along a ma­in bo­ugh.

    There was a sha­pe fra­med wit­hin the win­dow, de­ad eyes that glo­wed, and then the soft plop as it drop­ped from the sill down on to the flo­or.

    I he­ard a gasp, the mo­men­tary 'puff of the eider­down as tho­ugh so­met­hing he­avy had lan­ded on the bed.

    Outside the branc­hes rust­led. Twigs crac­ked.

    I be­ca­me awa­re of a gent­le re­pe­ti­ti­o­us pum­ping at the bot­tom of the bed, and then a warm com­for­ting vib­ra­ti­on in the small of my back li­ke an elect­ric mo­tor.

    I was af­ra­id. At first.

    But I'm a big girl now.

    Mum was very ex­ci­ted. 'Hyste­ri­cal,' Dad sa­id. She kept as­king him over and over abo­ut the whi­te and gin­ger ha­irs at the bot­tom of the bed. He told her not to be so silly and to 'lay off the sa­uce'.

    I think it was the blo­od that re­al­ly bot­he­red her. That and the so­il-clog­ged Bur­ger King bun she fo­und next to the pil­low.

    I can un­ders­tand why she was so up­set, but she's all right now.

    What pis­sed me off most was Dad, sa­ying that I co­uld ne­ver bring anot­her fre­ebie in­to the ho­use aga­in.

    I'll do what I want!

    Have I got a surp­ri­se for them, for Christ­mas!

    I've be­en prac­ti­sing my whist­les, and I've got lots of ide­as for using tho­se key-rings now. I went to Brix­ton and ca­ught the tu­be, all the way up to Chi­na­town, and all on my own too. I got a who­le bunch of the tags from the old Chi­ne­se wok man.

    We did a de­al. I'd ke­ep qu­i­et abo­ut his fid­dle with the bat­te­ri­es.

    Tonight I'm go­ing to go and see Gran­nie at the ce­me­tery.

    It's just up the ro­ad.

    Mum mis­ses her so, and it'll ser­ve Dad right.

    The key-ring works fi­ne now. Fi­ne.

    Best fre­ebie I've ever had.

    

    

6/ Roald Dahl - Man from the South

    

    It was get­ting on to­wards six o'clock so I tho­ught I'd buy myself a be­er and go out and sit in a deck-cha­ir by the swim­ming-po­ol and ha­ve a lit­tle eve­ning sun.

    I went to the bar and got the be­er and car­ri­ed it out­si­de and wan­de­red down the gar­den to­wards the po­ol.

    It was a fi­ne gar­den with lawns and beds of aza­le­as and tall co­co­nut palms, and the wind was blo­wing strongly thro­ugh the tops of the palm tre­es, ma­king the le­aves hiss and crack­le as tho­ugh they we­re on fi­re. I co­uld see the clus­ters of big brown nuts han­ging down un­der­ne­ath the le­aves.

    There we­re plenty of deck-cha­irs aro­und the swim­ming-po­ol and the­re we­re whi­te tab­les and hu­ge brightly co­lo­ured umb­rel­las and sun­bur­ned men and wo­men sit­ting aro­und in bat­hing su­its. In the po­ol it­self the­re we­re three or fo­ur girls and abo­ut a do­zen boys, all splas­hing abo­ut and ma­king a lot of no­ise and thro­wing a lar­ge rub­ber ball at one anot­her.

    I sto­od watc­hing them. The girls we­re Eng­lish girls from the ho­tel. The boys I didn't know abo­ut, but they so­un­ded Ame­ri­can, and I tho­ught they we­re pro­bably na­val ca­dets who'd co­me as­ho­re from the US na­val tra­ining ves­sel which had ar­ri­ved in har­bo­ur that mor­ning.

    I went over and sat down un­der a yel­low umb­rel­la whe­re the­re we­re fo­ur empty se­ats, and I po­ured my be­er and set­tled back com­for­tably with a ci­ga­ret­te.

    It was very ple­asant sit­ting the­re in the suns­hi­ne with be­er and ci­ga­ret­te. It was ple­asant to sit and watch the bat­hers splas­hing abo­ut in the gre­en wa­ter.

    The Ame­ri­can sa­ilors we­re get­ting on ni­cely with the Eng­lish girls. They'd re­ac­hed the sta­ge whe­re they we­re di­ving un­der the wa­ter and tip­ping them up by the­ir legs.

    Just then I no­ti­ced a small, ol­dish man wal­king briskly aro­und the ed­ge of the po­ol. He was im­ma­cu­la­tely dres­sed in a whi­te su­it and he wal­ked very qu­ickly with lit­tle bo­un­cing stri­des, pus­hing him­self high up on to his to­es with each step. He had on a lar­ge cre­amy Pa­na­ma hat, and he ca­me bo­un­cing along the si­de of the po­ol, lo­oking at the pe­op­le and the cha­irs.

    He stop­ped be­si­de me and smi­led, sho­wing two rows of very small, une­ven te­eth, slightly tar­nis­hed. I smi­led back.

    'Excuse ple­ess, but may I sit he­re?'

    'Certainly,' I sa­id. 'Go ahe­ad.'

    He bob­bed aro­und to the back of the cha­ir and ins­pec­ted it for sa­fety, then he sat down and cros­sed his legs. His whi­te buck-skin sho­es had lit­tle ho­les punc­hed all over them for ven­ti­la­ti­on.

    'A fi­ne eve­ning,' he sa­id. 'They are all eve­nings fi­ne he­re in Jama­ica.' I co­uldn't tell if the ac­cent we­re Ita­li­an or Spa­nish, but I felt fa­irly su­re he was so­me sort of a So­uth Ame­ri­can. And old too, when you saw him clo­se. Pro­bably aro­und sixty-eight or se­venty.

    'Yes,' I sa­id. 'It is won­der­ful he­re, isn't it.'

    'And who, might I ask, are all de­se? De­se is no ho­tel pe­op­le.' He was po­in­ting at the bat­hers in the po­ol.

    'I think they're Ame­ri­can sa­ilors,' I told him. 'They're Ame­ri­cans who are le­ar­ning to be sa­ilors.'

    'Of co­ur­se dey are Ame­ri­cans. Who el­se in de world is go­ing to ma­ke as much no­ise as dat? You are not Ame­ri­can no?'

    'No,' I sa­id. 'I am not.'

    Suddenly one of the Ame­ri­can ca­dets was stan­ding in front of us. He was drip­ping wet from the po­ol and one of the Eng­lish girls was stan­ding the­re with him.

    'Are the­se cha­irs ta­ken?' he sa­id.

    'No,' I ans­we­red.

    'Mind if I sit down?'

    'Go ahe­ad.'

    'Thanks,' he sa­id. He had a to­wel in his hand and when he sat down he un­rol­led it and pro­du­ced a pack of ci­ga­ret­tes and a ligh­ter. He of­fe­red the ci­ga­ret­tes to the girl and she re­fu­sed; then he of­fe­red them to me and I to­ok one. The lit­tle man sa­id, 'Tank you, no, but I tink I ha­ve a ci­gar.' He pul­led out a cro­co­di­le ca­se and got him­self a ci­gar, then he pro­du­ced a kni­fe which had a small scis­sors in it and he snip­ped the end off the ci­gar.

    'Here, let me gi­ve you a light.' The Ame­ri­can boy held up his ligh­ter.

    'Dat will not work in dis wind.'

    'Sure it'll work. It al­ways works.'

    The lit­tle man re­mo­ved his un­ligh­ted ci­gar from his mo­uth, coc­ked his he­ad on one si­de and lo­oked at the boy.

    'All-ways?' he sa­id slowly.

    'Sure, it ne­ver fa­ils. Not with me any­way.'

    The lit­tle man's he­ad was still coc­ked over on one si­de and he was still watc­hing the boy. 'Well, well. So you say dis fa­mo­us ligh­ter it ne­ver fa­ils. Iss dat you say?'

    'Sure,' the boy sa­id. 'That's right.' He was abo­ut ni­ne­te­en or twenty with a long freck­led fa­ce and a rat­her sharp bird­li­ke no­se. His chest was not very sun­bur­ned and the­re we­re freck­les the­re too, and a few wisps of pa­le-red­dish ha­ir. He was hol­ding the ligh­ter in his right hand, re­ady to flip the whe­el. 'It ne­ver fa­ils,' he sa­id, smi­ling now be­ca­use he was pur­po­sely exag­ge­ra­ting his lit­tle bo­ast. 'I pro­mi­se you it ne­ver fa­ils.'

    'One mo­mint, ple­ess.' The hand that held the ci­gar ca­me up high, palm out­ward, as tho­ugh it we­re stop­ping traf­fic. 'Now juss one mo­mint.' He had a cu­ri­o­usly soft, to­ne­less vo­ice and he kept lo­oking at the boy all the ti­me.

    'Shall we not per­haps ma­ke a lit­tle bet on dat?' He smi­led at the boy. 'Shall we not ma­ke a lit­tle bet on whet­her yo­ur ligh­ter lights?'

    'Sure, I'll bet,' the boy sa­id, 'Why not?'

    'You li­ke to bet?'

    'Sure, I'll al­ways bet.'

    The man pa­used and exa­mi­ned his ci­gar, and I must say I didn't much li­ke the way he was be­ha­ving. It se­emed he was al­re­ady trying to ma­ke so­met­hing out of this, and to em­bar­rass the boy, and at the sa­me ti­me I had the fe­eling he was re­lis­hing a pri­va­te lit­tle sec­ret all his own.

    He lo­oked up aga­in at the boy and sa­id slowly, 'I li­ke to bet, too. Why we don't ha­ve a go­od bet on dis ting? A go­od big bet.'

    'Now wa­it a mi­nu­te,' the boy sa­id. 'I can't do that. But I'll bet you a qu­ar­ter. I'll even bet you a dol­lar, or wha­te­ver it is over he­re - so­me shil­lings, I gu­ess.'

    The lit­tle man wa­ved his hand aga­in. 'Lis­ten to me. Now we ha­ve so­me fun. We ma­ke a bet. Den we go up to my ro­om he­re in de ho­tel whe­re iss no wind and I bet you you can­not light dis fa­mo­us ligh­ter of yo­urs ten ti­mes run­ning wit­ho­ut mis­sing on­ce.'

    'I'll bet I can,' the boy sa­id.

    'All right. Go­od. We ma­ke a bet, yes?'

    'Sure, I'll bet you a buck.'

    'No, no. I ma­ke you a very go­od bet. I am rich man and I am spor­ting man al­so. Lis­ten to me.

    Outside de ho­tel iss my car. Iss very fi­ne car. Ame­ri­can car from yo­ur co­untry. Ca­dil­lac -'

    'Hey, now. Wa­it a mi­nu­te.' The boy le­aned back in his deck-cha­ir and he la­ug­hed. 'I can't put up that sort of pro­perty. This is crazy.'

    'Not crazy at all. You stri­ke ligh­ter suc­ces­sful­ly ten ti­mes run­ning and Ca­dil­lac is yo­urs. You li­ke to ha­ve dis Ca­dil­lac, yes?'

    'Sure, I'd li­ke to ha­ve a Ca­dil­lac' The boy was still grin­ning.

    'All right. Fi­ne. We ma­ke a bet and I put up my Ca­dil­lac'

    'And what do I put up?'

    The lit­tle man ca­re­ful­ly re­mo­ved the red band from his still un­ligh­ted ci­gar. 'I ne­ver ask you, my fri­end, to bet so­met­hing you can­not af­ford. You un­ders­tand?'

    'Then what do I bet?'

    'I ma­ke it very easy for you, yes?'

    'OK. You ma­ke it easy.'

    'Some small ting you can af­ford to gi­ve away, and if you did hap­pen to lo­se it you wo­uld not fe­el too bad. Right?'

    'Such as what?'

    'Such as, per­haps, de lit­tle fin­ger on yo­ur left hand.'

    'My what?' The boy stop­ped grin­ning.

    'Yes. Why not? You win, you ta­ke de car. You lo­oss, I ta­ke de fin­ger.'

    'I don't get it. How d'you me­an, you ta­ke the fin­ger?'

    'I chop it off.'

    'Jumping je­epers! That's a crazy bet. I think I'll just ma­ke it a dol­lar.'

    The lit­tle man le­aned back, spre­ad out his hands palms up­wards and ga­ve a tiny con­temp­tu­o­us shrug of the sho­ul­ders. 'Well, well, well,' he sa­id. 'I do not un­ders­tand. You say it lights but you will not bet. Den we for­get it, yes?'

    The boy sat qu­ite still, sta­ring at the bat­hers in the po­ol. Then he re­mem­be­red sud­denly he hadn't ligh­ted his ci­ga­ret­te. He put it bet­we­en his lips, cup­ped his hands aro­und the ligh­ter and flip­ped the whe­el. The wick ligh­ted and bur­ned with a small, ste­ady, yel­low fla­me and the way he held his hands the wind didn't get to it at all.

    'Could I ha­ve a light, too?' I sa­id.

    'God, I'm sorry, I for­got you didn't ha­ve one.'

    I held out my hand for the ligh­ter, but he sto­od up and ca­me over to do it for me.

    'Thank you,' I sa­id, and he re­tur­ned to his se­at.

    'You ha­ving a go­od ti­me?' I as­ked.

    'Fine,' he ans­we­red. 'It's pretty ni­ce he­re.'

    There was a si­len­ce then, and I co­uld see that the lit­tle man had suc­ce­eded in dis­tur­bing the boy with his ab­surd pro­po­sal. He was sit­ting the­re very still, and it was ob­vi­o­us that a small ten­si­on was be­gin­ning to bu­ild up in­si­de him. Then he star­ted shif­ting abo­ut in his se­at, and rub­bing his chest, and stro­king the back of his neck, and fi­nal­ly he pla­ced both hands on his kne­es and be­gan tap-tap­ping with his fin­gers aga­inst the knee-caps. So­on he was tap­ping with one of his fe­et as well.

    'Now just let me check up on this bet of yo­urs,' he sa­id at last. 'You say we go up to yo­ur ro­om and if I ma­ke this ligh­ter light ten ti­mes run­ning I win a Ca­dil­lac. If it mis­ses just on­ce then I for­fe­it the lit­tle fin­ger of my left hand. Is that right?'

    'Certainly. Dat is de bet. But I tink you are af­ra­id.'

    'What do we do if I lo­se? Do I ha­ve to hold my fin­ger out whi­le you chop it off?'

    'Oh, no! Dat wo­uld be no go­od. And you might be temp­ted to re­fu­se to hold it out. What I sho­uld do I sho­uld tie one of yo­ur hands to de tab­le be­fo­re we star­ted and I sho­uld stand de­re with a kni­fe re­ady to go chop de mo­mint yo­ur ligh­ter mis­sed.'

    'What ye­ar is the Ca­dil­lac?' the boy as­ked.

    'Excuse. I not un­ders­tand.'

    'What ye­ar - how old is the Ca­dil­lac?'

    'Ah! How old? Yes. It is last ye­ar. Qu­ite new car. But I see you are not bet­ting man. Ame­ri­cans ne­ver are.'

    The boy pa­used for just a mo­ment and he glan­ced first at the Eng­lish girl, then at me. 'Yes,' he sa­id sharply. 'I'll bet you.'

    'Good!' The lit­tle man clap­ped his hands to­get­her qu­i­etly, on­ce. 'Fi­ne,' he sa­id. 'We do it now. And you, sir,' he tur­ned to me, 'you wo­uld per­haps be go­od eno­ugh to, what you call it, to - to re­fe­ree.' He had pa­le, al­most co­lo­ur­less eyes with tiny black pu­pils.

    'Well,' I sa­id. 'I think it's a crazy bet. I don't think I li­ke it very much.'

    'Nor do I,' sa­id the Eng­lish girl. It was the first ti­me she'd spo­ken. 'I think it's a stu­pid, ri­di­cu­lo­us bet.'

    'Are you se­ri­o­us abo­ut cut­ting off this boy's fin­ger if he lo­ses?' I sa­id.

    'Certainly I am. Al­so abo­ut gi­ving him Ca­dil­lac if he win. Co­me now. We go to my ro­om.'

    He sto­od up. 'You li­ke to put on so­me clot­hes first?' he sa­id.

    'No,' the boy ans­we­red. 'I'll co­me li­ke this.' Then he tur­ned to me. 'I'd con­si­der it a fa­vo­ur if you'd co­me along and re­fe­ree.'

    'All right,' I sa­id. 'I'll co­me along, but I don't li­ke the bet.'

    'You co­me too,' he sa­id to the girl. 'You co­me and watch.'

    The lit­tle man led the way back thro­ugh the gar­den to the ho­tel. He was ani­ma­ted now, and ex­ci­ted, and that se­emed to ma­ke him bo­un­ce up hig­her than ever on his to­es as he wal­ked along.

    'I li­ve in an­ne­xe,' he sa­id. 'You li­ke to see car first? Iss just he­re.'

    He to­ok us to whe­re we co­uld see the front dri­ve­way of the ho­tel and he stop­ped and po­in­ted to a sle­ek pa­le-gre­en Ca­dil­lac par­ked clo­se by.

    'Dere she iss. De gre­en one. You li­ke?'

    'Say, that's a ni­ce car,' the boy sa­id.

    'All right. Now we go up and see if you can win her.'

    We fol­lo­wed him in­to the an­ne­xe and up one flight of sta­irs. He un­loc­ked his do­or and we all tro­oped in­to what was a lar­ge ple­asant do­ub­le bed­ro­om. The­re was a wo­man's dres­sing-gown lying ac­ross the bot­tom of one of the beds.

    'First,' he sa­id, 'we 'ave a lit­tle Mar­ti­ni.'

    The drinks we­re on a small tab­le in the far cor­ner, all re­ady to be mi­xed, and the­re was a sha­ker and ice and plenty of glas­ses. He be­gan to ma­ke the Mar­ti­ni, but me­anw­hi­le he'd rung the bell and now the­re was a knock on the do­or and a co­lo­ured ma­id ca­me in.

    'Ah!' he sa­id, put­ting down the bot­tle of gin, ta­king a wal­let from his poc­ket and pul­ling out a po­und no­te. 'You will do so­met­hing for me now, ple­ess.' He ga­ve the ma­id the po­und.

    'You ke­ep dat,' he sa­id. 'And now we are go­ing to play a lit­tle ga­me in he­re and I want you to go off and find for me two - no tree tings. I want so­me na­ils, I want a ham­mer, and I want a chop­ping kni­fe, a butc­her's chop­ping kni­fe which you can bor­row from de kitc­hen. You can get, yes?'

    'A chop­ping kni­fe!' The ma­id ope­ned her eyes wi­de and clas­ped her hands in front of her. 'You me­an a re­al chop­ping kni­fe?'

    'Yes, yes, of co­ur­se. Co­me on now, ple­ess. You can find do­se tings su­rely for me.'

    'Yes, sir, I'll try, sir. Su­rely I'll try to get them.' And she went.

    The lit­tle man han­ded ro­und the Mar­ti­nis. We sto­od the­re and sip­ped them, the boy with the long freck­led fa­ce and the po­in­ted no­se, ba­re-bo­di­ed ex­cept for a pa­ir of fa­ded brown bat­hing shorts; the Eng­lish girl, a lar­ge-bo­ned fa­ir-ha­ired girl we­aring a pa­le blue bat­hing su­it, who watc­hed the boy over the top of her glass all the ti­me; the lit­tle man with the co­lo­ur­less eyes stan­ding the­re in his im­ma­cu­la­te whi­te su­it drin­king his Mar­ti­ni and lo­oking at the girl in her pa­le blue bat­hing dress. I didn't know what to ma­ke of it all. The man se­emed se­ri­o­us abo­ut the bet and he se­emed se­ri­o­us abo­ut the bu­si­ness of cut­ting off the fin­ger. But hell, what if the boy lost? Then we'd ha­ve to rush him to the hos­pi­tal in the Ca­dil­lac that he hadn't won. That wo­uld be a fi­ne thing. Now wo­uldn't that be a re­al­ly fi­ne thing? It wo­uld be a damn silly un­ne­ces­sary thing so far as I co­uld see.

    'Don't you think this is rat­her a silly bet?' I sa­id.

    'I think it's a fi­ne bet,' the boy ans­we­red. He had al­re­ady dow­ned one lar­ge Mar­ti­ni.

    'I think it's a stu­pid, ri­di­cu­lo­us bet,' the girl sa­id. 'What'll hap­pen if you lo­se?'

    'It won't mat­ter. Co­me to think of it, I can't re­mem­ber ever in my li­fe ha­ving had any use for the lit­tle fin­ger on my left hand. He­re he is.' The boy to­ok hold of the fin­ger. 'He­re he is and he hasn't ever do­ne a thing for me yet. So why sho­uldn't I bet him? I think it's a fi­ne bet.'

    The lit­tle man smi­led and pic­ked up the sha­ker and re­fil­led our glas­ses.

    'Before we be­gin,' he sa­id, 'I will pre­sent to de - to de re­fe­ree de key of de car.' He pro­du­ced a car key from his poc­ket and ga­ve it to me. 'De pa­pers,' he sa­id, 'de ow­ning pa­pers and in­su­ran­ce are in de poc­ket of de car.'

    Then the co­lo­ured ma­id ca­me in aga­in. In one hand she car­ri­ed a small chop­per, the kind used by butc­hers for chop­ping me­at bo­nes, and in the ot­her a ham­mer and a bag of na­ils.

    'Good! You get dem all. Tank you, tank you. Now you can go.' He wa­ited un­til the ma­id had clo­sed the do­or, then he put the imp­le­ments on one of the beds and sa­id, 'Now we pre­pa­re our­sel­ves, yes?' And to the boy, 'Help me, ple­ess, with dis tab­le. We carry it out a lit­tle.'

    It was the usu­al kind of ho­tel wri­ting desk, just a pla­in rec­tan­gu­lar tab­le abo­ut fo­ur fe­et by three with a blot­ting pad, ink, pens and pa­per. They car­ri­ed it out in­to the ro­om away from the wall, and re­mo­ved the wri­ting things.

    'And now,' he sa­id, 'a cha­ir.' He pic­ked up a cha­ir and pla­ced it be­si­de the tab­le. He was very brisk and very ani­ma­ted, li­ke a per­son or­ga­ni­zing ga­mes at a child­ren's party. 'And now de na­ils. I must put in de na­ils.' He fetc­hed the na­ils and he be­gan to ham­mer them in­to the top of the tab­le.

    We sto­od the­re, the boy, the girl, and I, hol­ding Mar­ti­nis in our hands, watc­hing the lit­tle man at work. We watc­hed him ham­mer two na­ils in­to the tab­le, abo­ut six inc­hes apart. He didn't ham­mer them right ho­me; he al­lo­wed a small part of each one to stick up. Then he tes­ted them for firm­ness with his fin­gers.

    Anyone wo­uld think the son of a bitch had do­ne this be­fo­re, I told myself. He ne­ver he­si­ta­tes. Tab­le, na­ils, ham­mer, kitc­hen chop­per. He knows exactly what he ne­eds and how to ar­ran­ge it.

    'And now,' he sa­id, 'all we want is so­me string.' He fo­und so­me string. 'All right, at last we are re­ady. Will you ple­ess to sit he­re at de tab­le?' he sa­id to the boy.

    The boy put his glass away and sat down.

    'Now pla­ce de left hand bet­we­en de­se two na­ils. De na­ils are only so I can tie yo­ur hand in pla­ce. All right, go­od. Now I tie yo­ur hand se­cu­re to de tab­le - so.'

    He wo­und the string aro­und the boy's wrist, then se­ve­ral ti­mes aro­und the wi­de part of the hand, then he fas­te­ned it tight to the na­ils. He ma­de a go­od job of it and when he'd fi­nis­hed the­re wasn't any qu­es­ti­on abo­ut the boy be­ing ab­le to draw his hand away. But he co­uld mo­ve his fin­gers.

    'Now ple­ess, clench de fist, all ex­cept for de lit­tle fin­ger. You must le­ave de lit­tle fin­ger stic­king out, lying on de tab­le.'

    'Ex-cellent! Ex-cel­lent! Now we are re­ady. Wid yo­ur right hand you ma­ni­pu­la­te de ligh­ter. But one mo­mint, ple­ess.'

    He skip­ped over to the bed and pic­ked up the chop­per. He ca­me back and sto­od be­si­de the tab­le with the chop­per in his hand.

    'We are all re­ady?' he sa­id. 'Mis­ter re­fe­ree, you must say to be­gin.'

    The Eng­lish girl was stan­ding the­re in her pa­le blue bat­hing cos­tu­me right be­hind the boy's cha­ir. She was just stan­ding the­re, not sa­ying anyt­hing. The boy was sit­ting qu­ite still hol­ding the ligh­ter in his right hand, lo­oking at the chop­per. The lit­tle man was lo­oking at me.

    'Are you re­ady?' I as­ked the boy.

    'I'm re­ady.'

    'And you?' to the lit­tle man.

    'Quite re­ady,' he sa­id and he lif­ted the chop­per up in the air and held it the­re abo­ut two fe­et abo­ve the boy's fin­ger, re­ady to chop. The boy watc­hed it, but he didn't flinch and his mo­uth didn't mo­ve at all. He me­rely ra­ised his eyeb­rows and frow­ned.

    'All right,' I sa­id. 'Go ahe­ad.'

    The boy sa­id, 'Will you ple­ase co­unt alo­ud the num­ber of ti­mes I light it.'

    'Yes,' I sa­id. 'I'll do that.'

    With his thumb he ra­ised the top of the ligh­ter, and aga­in with the thumb he ga­ve the whe­el a sharp flick. The flint spar­ked and the wick ca­ught fi­re and bur­ned with a small yel­low fla­me.

    'One!' I cal­led.

    He didn't blow the fla­me out; he clo­sed the top of the ligh­ter on it and he wa­ited for per­haps fi­ve se­conds be­fo­re ope­ning it aga­in.

    He flic­ked the whe­el very strongly and on­ce mo­re the­re was a small fla­me bur­ning on the wick.

    'Two!'

    No one el­se sa­id anyt­hing. The boy kept his eyes on the ligh­ter. The lit­tle man held the chop­per up in the air and he too was watc­hing the ligh­ter.

    'Three!'

    'Four!'

    'Five!'

    'Six!'

    'Seven!' Ob­vi­o­usly it was one of tho­se ligh­ters that wor­ked. The flint ga­ve a big spark and the wick was the right length. I watc­hed the thumb snap­ping the top down on to the fla­me. Then a pa­use. Then the thumb ra­ising the top on­ce mo­re. This was an all-thumb ope­ra­ti­on. The thumb did everyt­hing. I to­ok a bre­ath, re­ady to say eight. The thumb flic­ked the whe­el. The flint spar­ked. The lit­tle fla­me ap­pe­ared.

    'Eight!' I sa­id, and as I sa­id it the do­or ope­ned. We all tur­ned and we saw a wo­man stan­ding in the do­or­way, a small, black-ha­ired wo­man, rat­her old, who sto­od the­re for abo­ut two se­conds then rus­hed for­ward, sho­uting, 'Car­los! Car­los!' She grab­bed his wrist, to­ok the chop­per from him, threw it on the bed, to­ok hold of the lit­tle man by the la­pels of his whi­te su­it and be­gan sha­king him very vi­go­ro­usly, tal­king to him fast and lo­ud and fi­er­cely all the ti­me in so­me Spa­nish-so­un­ding lan­gu­age. She sho­ok him so fast you co­uldn't see him any­mo­re. He be­ca­me a fa­int, misty, qu­ickly mo­ving out­li­ne, li­ke the spo­kes of a tur­ning whe­el.

    Then she slo­wed down and the lit­tle man ca­me in­to vi­ew aga­in and she ha­uled him ac­ross the ro­om and pus­hed him back­wards on to one of the beds. He sat on the ed­ge of it blin­king his eyes and tes­ting his he­ad to see if it wo­uld still turn on his neck.

    'I am sorry,' the wo­man sa­id. 'I am so ter­ribly sorry that this sho­uld hap­pen.' She spo­ke al­most per­fect Eng­lish.

    'It is too bad,' she went on. 'I sup­po­se it is re­al­ly my fa­ult. For ten mi­nu­tes I le­ave him alo­ne to go and ha­ve my ha­ir was­hed and I co­me back and he is at it aga­in.' She lo­oked sorry and de­eply con­cer­ned.

    The boy was unt­ying his hand from the tab­le. The Eng­lish girl and I sto­od the­re and sa­id not­hing.

    'He is a me­na­ce,' the wo­man sa­id. 'Down whe­re we li­ve at ho­me he has ta­ken al­to­get­her forty-se­ven fin­gers from dif­fe­rent pe­op­le, and he has lost ele­ven cars. In the end they thre­ate­ned to ha­ve him put away so­mew­he­re. That's why I bro­ught him up he­re.'

    'We we­re only ha­ving a lit­tle bet,' mumb­led the lit­tle man from the bed.

    'I sup­po­se he bet you a car,' the wo­man sa­id.

    'Yes,' the boy ans­we­red. 'A Ca­dil­lac'

    'He has no car. It's mi­ne. And that ma­kes it wor­se,' she sa­id, 'that he sho­uld bet you when he has not­hing to bet with. I am as­ha­med and very sorry abo­ut it all.' She se­emed an aw­ful­ly ni­ce wo­man.

    'Well,' I sa­id, 'then he­re's the key of yo­ur car.' I put it on the tab­le.

    'We we­re only ha­ving a lit­tle bet,' mumb­led the lit­tle man.

    'He hasn't anyt­hing left to bet with,' the wo­man sa­id. 'He hasn't a thing in the world. Not a thing. As a mat­ter of fact I myself won it all from him a long whi­le ago. It to­ok ti­me, a lot of ti­me, and it was hard work, but I won it all in the end.' She lo­oked up at the boy and she smi­led, a slow sad smi­le, and she ca­me over and put out a hand to ta­ke the key from the tab­le.

    I can see it now, that hand of hers; it had only one fin­ger on it, and a thumb.

    

    

7/ Kenneth Ireland - The Werewolf Mask

    

    The mask lo­oked just li­ke a hor­rib­le we­re­wolf with blo­od drip­ping from its fangs. It was one which fit­ted right over Pe­ter's he­ad, with spa­ces for his eyes so that when he lo­oked out the mo­ve­ment ga­ve an ext­ra di­men­si­on of hor­ror to the al­re­ady ter­rif­ying exp­res­si­on on the rub­ber fa­ce. The ha­ir han­ging down from the top of the mask lo­oked re­al, as did the ha­ir and whis­kers dro­oping from the si­des and fa­ce. It was very sa­tisf­ying, Pe­ter felt, as so­on as he had be­en in­to the joke shop and bo­ught it.

    Something, ho­we­ver, was mis­sing. Whi­le the mask se­emed re­alis­tic eno­ugh, it was his hands which we­re wrong. If a hu­man co­uld re­al­ly turn in­to a we­re­wolf, it wo­uld not be only the fa­ce which wo­uld chan­ge, but the hands wo­uld grow ha­iry as well. He dis­co­ve­red this when he unw­rap­ped the pa­per bag in which he had bo­ught it and went ups­ta­irs to try the ef­fect in front of his dres­sing-tab­le mir­ror. As long as he kept his hands hid­den, all was well, but on­ce his hands we­re se­en, they we­re far too smo­oth. In fact, they we­ren't ha­iry at all. It was rat­her di­sap­po­in­ting, but ne­vert­he­less he tho­ught that he'd try out the ef­fect any­way. His mot­her was in, so ma­king grun­ting and dro­oling no­ises he lo­ped away down the sta­irs.

    He went in­to the li­ving-ro­om whe­re his mot­her was dar­ning so­me socks, flung open the do­or sud­denly and le­aped in, arms ra­ised to his sho­ul­ders, fin­gers ex­ten­ded li­ke claws, and grow­ling fe­ro­ci­o­usly.

    'My go­od­ness,' sa­id his mot­her, lo­oking up, 'what on earth ma­de you was­te yo­ur mo­ney on a thing li­ke that?'

    'I tho­ught it was rat­her go­od,' sa­id Pe­ter, not at all put out. 'Do­esn't it lo­ok - well, re­al?'

    'Well, it was yo­ur birth­day mo­ney, so I sup­po­se you co­uld spend it how you li­ked,' sa­id his mot­her pla­cidly, re­tur­ning to the socks. 'I don't know how you ma­na­ge to get such lar­ge ho­les in the­se, I re­al­ly don't. I think it must be the way you drag them on.'

    'But do­esn't it lo­ok just li­ke a we­re­wolf?' as­ked Pe­ter, ta­king the mask off and exa­mi­ning it ca­re­ful­ly.

    'It wo­uld, I sup­po­se, ex­cept the­re are no such things and ne­ver ha­ve be­en such things as we­re­wol­ves. I think you've was­ted yo­ur mo­ney on so­met­hing which is of no re­al use,' his mot­her rep­li­ed. 'The mo­ney wo­uld ha­ve be­en bet­ter spent on so­me new pa­irs of socks. Still, yo­ur Aunty Do­re­en did tell you to spend it on so­met­hing to amu­se you, so I sup­po­se we can't ex­pect everyt­hing.'

    'The thing that's wrong with it is my hands,' sa­id Pe­ter. 'The fa­ce is all right, but the hands are wrong to go with it, don't you think?'

    He put the mask on aga­in and held his hands out for her to see the ef­fect. She glan­ced at him bri­efly. 'Put­ting a mask on li­ke that won't ma­ke yo­ur hands lo­ok dif­fe­rent from a boy's,' she sa­id. 'The only thing you co­uld do is we­ar glo­ves, yo­ur wo­ol­ly ones per­haps, to dis­gu­ise them.'

    Since she was ta­king no mo­re no­ti­ce of him, he went back ups­ta­irs, drew a pa­ir of wo­ol­ly glo­ves from a dra­wer in his dres­sing tab­le, and tri­ed the ef­fect this ti­me. Well, per­haps it wasn't all that bad. At le­ast the glo­ves ga­ve so­me kind of ap­pe­aran­ce of ha­iri­ness, but it was still not qu­ite right. He tri­ed com­bing the backs of the glo­ves, but that was no go­od at all. When he tri­ed the claw ef­fect, it was not half as go­od as when his na­ils we­re sho­wing.

    He still had so­me mo­ney left, so he went back to the joke shop, ta­king the mask with him.

    'Have you got,' he as­ked, 'anything li­ke ha­iry hands?'

    The shop­ke­eper, be­ing a bit of a joker him­self, lo­oked down at his hands and as­ked if they wo­uld do. Then he lo­oked down at his fe­et be­hind the co­un­ter and as if in surp­ri­se an­no­un­ced that he hadn't got pigs' trot­ters, eit­her.

    'No, I me­an,' exp­la­ined Pe­ter ca­re­ful­ly, 'li­ke I bo­ught this we­re­wolf mask, I won­der if you ha­ve a kind of ha­iry hand mask to go with it. You know, to ma­ke the who­le thing lo­ok - well, mo­re re­al?'

    'Hairy, with sort of claws, you me­an?' as­ked the shop­ke­eper, nod­ding. 'I might ha­ve. Hang on.'

    He went along the shel­ves be­hind the co­un­ter, ope­ned first one dra­wer then anot­her, and at the third dra­wer ext­rac­ted a trans­pa­rent plas­tic bag which he pla­ced on the co­un­ter.

    'These do?' he as­ked.

    Peter pic­ked them up eagerly, and ins­pec­ted the con­tents thro­ugh the plas­tic. They lo­oked abo­ut right.

    'Can I try them on?' he as­ked.

    'Sure.' The shop­ke­eper rip­ped open the bag and la­id the hands out for him.

    They we­re not li­ke glo­ves, be­ca­use they did not co­ver the hands all ro­und, but me­rely lay on top and we­re fas­te­ned by a strap un­der­ne­ath and anot­her ro­und the wrist. Just the tips of the fin­gers fit­ted in­to soc­kets so that the rub­ber fin­gers wo­uld not dang­le abo­ut use­les­sly. Pe­ter tri­ed them on.

    'You can't ex­pect a per­fect fit,' the shop­ke­eper sa­id, 'be­ca­use of co­ur­se they don't ma­ke them in dif­fe­rent si­zes. If they're too big, just tigh­ten the strap un­der­ne­ath and pull the one that go­es ro­und yo­ur wrist up yo­ur arm a bit.'

    He hel­ped him to put them on. They we­re rat­her big, but with them pul­led well up the hands and over his wrists they we­re not bad at all, Pe­ter de­ci­ded. He wo­uld ha­ve them, if he co­uld af­ford them. They we­re just as go­od as the mag­ni­fi­cent mask, they had what lo­oked li­ke re­al ha­ir gro­wing along the backs, re­al­ly sa­tisf­ying long claws with just eno­ugh red on the ends to lo­ok as if they had torn in­to so­me­body's flesh, and what was mo­re the red was ac­tu­al­ly pa­in­ted to lo­ok as if it we­re still wet.

    'Try the ef­fect of both the mask and the hands,' sug­ges­ted the shop­ke­eper, po­in­ting to­wards a mir­ror on the wall be­hind the do­or, so Pe­ter did. That was much bet­ter, es­pe­ci­al­ly in the fa­irly dim light in­si­de the shop. Ab­so­lu­tely ter­rif­ying, al­most.

    'Wrap them up for you?' as­ked the shop­ke­eper.

    'No, I'll ta­ke them as they are,' sa­id Pe­ter.

    'Pardon?' The mask was not adj­us­ted qu­ite cor­rectly, so his vo­ice had be­en rat­her muf­fled.

    Peter stra­igh­te­ned the mask ro­und his fa­ce so that his mo­uth was in the right pla­ce. 'No thanks. How much?'

    He pa­id the mo­ney and left the shop we­aring his new pos­ses­si­ons, be­ca­use he just hap­pe­ned to ha­ve no­ti­ced Billy Fid­ler le­aning aga­inst the pil­lar box out­si­de, lo­oking the ot­her way.

    He ran out of the shop, crept ro­und the si­de of the pil­lar box then slowly re­ac­hed out a hand to to­uch Billy on the sho­ul­der. Billy tur­ned, as he ex­pec­ted him to do.

    'That's pretty go­od,' sa­id Billy, stan­ding up. He lo­oked Pe­ter over cri­ti­cal­ly. 'I li­ke the hands.' Then he pe­ered clo­ser. 'Oh - it's Pe­ter.'

    'What do you think of it, then?' as­ked Pe­ter.

    'Pretty go­od. I co­uld only re­al­ly tell who you we­re by the clot­hes. It ne­eds to be dar­ker, tho­ugh. I me­an, you don't ex­pect to co­me ac­ross a we­re­wolf in day­light, so it lo­oks just li­ke a hor­rib­le mask and a pa­ir of hands just now. If it was dark, tho­ugh, and you sud­denly ca­me at me, that wo­uld re­al­ly gi­ve me a nasty turn, I can tell you. Can I try them on?'

    Peter didn't mind sho­wing off his new ac­qu­isi­ti­ons, and in any ca­se he wan­ted to find out if what Billy had sa­id was true. When Billy put them on, he fo­und that it was. They we­re very go­od in­de­ed, very ef­fec­ti­ve for what they we­re, mo­ney well spent. But it was still un­for­tu­na­tely true that in bro­ad day­light, on the pa­ve­ment out­si­de a row of shops with a pil­lar box just next to them, the mask was just a mask, and the hands we­re ob­vi­o­usly ar­ti­fi­ci­al: not at all bad, tho­ugh.

    'Try them out on her,' ad­vi­sed Pe­ter, se­e­ing Wendy Glo­ver ap­pro­ac­hing with her mot­her. She was a girl at the­ir scho­ol who al­ways se­emed to frigh­ten qu­ite easily.

    Billy obe­di­ently pop­ped be­hind the pil­lar box, and as Wendy and her mot­her drew le­vel sud­denly jum­ped out in front of them. Wendy's mot­her drew her da­ugh­ter a lit­tle clo­ser to her with dis­da­in.

    'Billy Fid­ler, I sho­uld think,' re­mar­ked Wendy primly to her mot­her as they con­ti­nu­ed along the pa­ve­ment. She tur­ned af­ter they had wal­ked a few pa­ces. 'A bit silly, I think,' she sa­id lo­udly.

    'I tell you, it'd be a dif­fe­rent story if it was dark,' sa­id Billy firmly, ta­king the mask and the hands off aga­in and gi­ving them back to Pe­ter. 'You try it, and see if I'm not right.'

    Peter slip­ped the items in­to his poc­kets and went ho­me, ta­king them ups­ta­irs and pla­cing them ca­re­ful­ly in the dra­wer of his dres­sing tab­le, trying not to fold them and ca­use cre­ases to de­ve­lop in them.

    It be­gan to grow dark qu­ite early that eve­ning, so at the first op­por­tu­nity Pe­ter slip­ped off ups­ta­irs, sto­od in front of the mir­ror and tri­ed the mask on aga­in wit­ho­ut switc­hing on his bed­ro­om light. In the dusk, it lo­oked be­a­uti­ful­ly eerie. When he strap­ped the we­re­wolf hands on to his own and then tri­ed the ef­fect in full, he al­most ma­na­ged to frigh­ten him­self, it lo­oked so re­al that fi­gu­re re­ady to le­ap out at him from the mir­ror.

    Then he knew what was lac­king, and ran downs­ta­irs in­to the kitc­hen, hur­rying back up to his bed­ro­om with a lit­tle poc­ket torch in his hands. This ti­me he drew the cur­ta­ins as well, and when the ro­om was pitch black held the torch just un­der­ne­ath his chin and switc­hed it on sud­denly.

    This ti­me he re­al­ly did jump in fright. In front of him was a mons­ter, re­al­ly hor­rib­le, writ­hing and dro­oling with just a hint of blo­od on the tips of its fangs and from its claws mo­re blo­od shi­ning in the light as if freshly drawn from a vic­tim. He mo­ved his left hand ac­ross his mo­uth as tho­ugh trying to wi­pe it cle­an, and it was so re­alis­tic that he was glad to know that downs­ta­irs both of his pa­rents we­re in the ho­use.

    'Well, well,' he sa­id alo­ud, very ple­ased now, and hur­ri­ed to switch on the elect­ric light.

    He put out the torch, sat on his bed and watc­hed him­self in the mir­ror as he re­mo­ved first the hands and then the mask. It was al­most a re­li­ef to be ab­le to see him re­turn to his nor­mal self aga­in. The only thing was, when wo­uld he ever ha­ve the op­por­tu­nity to try the­se things out pro­perly?

    His fat­her was cal­ling from downs­ta­irs. 'Pe­ter!'

    'What?'

    'Would you li­ke to do so­met­hing for me?'

    'What?'

    'Come down, and I'll tell you.'

    Peter was abo­ut to rep­la­ce his toys in the dra­wer aga­in, tho­ught bet­ter of it and stuf­fed them in­to his poc­kets ins­te­ad, with the torch. If his fat­her wan­ted him to go out, this might be just the op­por­tu­nity he had be­en won­de­ring abo­ut. He went downs­ta­irs, to find his fat­her wa­iting for him in the hall.

    'I've just re­mem­be­red a co­up­le of er­rands I'd li­ke do­ing. You know the en­ve­lo­pes I've be­en put­ting thro­ugh pe­op­le's do­ors, col­lec­ting for the child­ren's ho­mes?'

    'Yes.' Go­od, his fat­her did want him to go out, then.

    'There are two ho­uses I cal­led to col­lect them from last night, but the oc­cu­pants we­re out. Just tho­se two. Wo­uld you mind pop­ping ro­und to see if they're in to­night and col­lect them for me if they are? Ta­ke this with you -' and he han­ded over a lit­tle card of iden­tity which sta­ted that Pe­ter's fat­her was an aut­ho­ri­zed col­lec­tor for the child­ren's ho­mes - 'and exp­la­in who you are. They'll know you any­way, I ex­pect, but ta­ke it just in ca­se.'

    'Which ho­uses are they?'

    'Number eigh­te­en, along our ro­ad, Mr and Mrs Hub­bard, then num­ber forty-se­ven De­vons­hi­re Ro­ad. He's new, so I don't know his na­me.'

    'No tro­ub­le,' sa­id Pe­ter. 'Won't ta­ke me ten mi­nu­tes, if that.'

    'OK then. Re­mem­ber, it's the child­ren's ho­mes en­ve­lo­pes you're as­king for,' his fat­her cal­led af­ter him.

    'I know,' sa­id Pe­ter, hur­rying.

    Once he was cle­ar of the ho­use he ca­re­ful­ly drew out of his poc­kets the mask, and put it on, then the hands, then with the lit­tle torch held re­ady he set off down the stre­et.

    Number eigh­te­en was not far away, but as he wal­ked to­wards it Pe­ter re­ali­zed that the­re was no­body out on the stre­et but him­self. It was ni­cely dark by now, and the sky was clo­uded over, but all at on­ce a clo­ud slid to one si­de and he saw that so­mew­he­re up the­re was not only the mo­on but a full one at that. Just the right sort of night for a we­re­wolf to be ab­ro­ad, he was thin­king as the clo­ud gli­ded back in­to pla­ce aga­in, so he adj­us­ted the mask so that the eyes and the mo­uth we­re in the right pla­ces, and pul­led up the ha­iry hands as far as they wo­uld go. Then he con­ti­nu­ed briskly to­wards num­ber eigh­te­en, whe­re he knoc­ked on the do­or, poc­ket torch at the re­ady.

    For a whi­le the­re was no ans­wer, then he he­ard the cha­in be­hind the do­or rat­tle, then a pa­use.

    'Who is it?' he he­ard a wo­man's vo­ice ask from in­si­de.

    'I've co­me for the en­ve­lo­pe for the child­ren's ho­mes,' he sa­id lo­udly.

    'Just a mi­nu­te.'

    There was anot­her pa­use, and he as­su­med that Mrs Hub­bard was trying to find the en­ve­lo­pe so that she co­uld put ten­pen­ce in­si­de it be­fo­re ope­ning the do­or. He got re­ady. Then the cha­in rat­tled a se­cond ti­me, and the do­or ope­ned. As the fi­gu­re of Mrs Hub­bard ap­pe­ared, he switc­hed on the torch, di­rectly un­der his chin.

    Mrs Hub­bard star­ted and step­ped back. Pe­ter sto­od mo­ti­on­less with the light un­wa­ve­ring un­der­ne­ath his chin. The­re was a gasp, Mrs Hub­bard clutc­hed at her chest, then the do­or slam­med shut and he he­ard the cha­in rat­tle aga­in and then a bolt clunk in­to pla­ce.

    That was very go­od, Pe­ter was thin­king. He did think of knoc­king on the do­or aga­in, this ti­me with his mask off, but tho­ught bet­ter of it. She might not co­me to the do­or twi­ce. So now for who­ever it was who li­ved at num­ber forty-se­ven De­vons­hi­re Ro­ad.

    This was a lar­ge, glo­omy ho­use, with so­me kind of tall fir tre­es gro­wing in the front gar­den be­hind a thick hed­ge. He did not re­mem­ber ever ha­ving vi­si­ted this ho­use be­fo­re. He ope­ned the wo­oden ga­te and wal­ked up the path, to find the front do­or was not at the front of the ho­use but at the si­de, with mo­re thick hed­ge gro­wing in front of it on the op­po­si­te si­de of the nar­row path. He won­de­red how an­yo­ne ever ma­na­ged to carry fur­ni­tu­re in­to the ho­use when the path was as nar­row as that.

    He did not ne­ed to flash his torch to find the bell-push, be­ca­use it was one of tho­se il­lu­mi­na­ted ones, with a na­me on a card un­der­ne­ath it. Lu­ke Anth­ro­pe, it sa­id. So that was the na­me of the man who li­ved the­re, he tho­ught; what an unu­su­al na­me. He pres­sed the bell, and at on­ce co­uld he­ar an angry buz­zing from so­mew­he­re in­si­de, not li­ke a bell at all. Fe­eling se­cu­re and sa­fe be­hind his mask, when the­re was no ans­wer he pres­sed the but­ton aga­in, and this ti­me he he­ard a man's vo­ice from in­si­de the hall of this dark ho­use. That rat­her surp­ri­sed him, sin­ce the­re we­re no lights switc­hed on that he co­uld see.

    'Go ro­und the back,' it sa­id ho­ar­sely.

    He wal­ked furt­her along the path to find a tall wo­oden ga­te, which ope­ned easily, so he pas­sed thro­ugh it to see the back do­or of the ho­use, and knoc­ked on it. The do­or ope­ned just as the mo­on ca­me out aga­in, but he was re­ady for it and had the torch un­der his chin im­me­di­ately. Mr Anth­ro­pe did not frigh­ten easily, ho­we­ver. He was a short man, with a thick be­ard and mo­us­tac­he, and he just sto­od the­re re­gar­ding Pe­ter ste­adily.

    'I've co­me for the en­ve­lo­pe for the child­ren's ho­mes,' exp­la­ined Pe­ter, switc­hing his torch off sin­ce it was ob­vi­o­usly ha­ving no ef­fect.

    'Ah yes,' sa­id Mr Anth­ro­pe, but ma­de no mo­ve to go and fetch it.

    'I've got a card he­re,' sa­id Pe­ter, fumb­ling in his poc­ket with so­me dif­fi­culty sin­ce the hand masks rat­her got in the way. 'It's my fat­her's re­al­ly, but it pro­ves that you can gi­ve the en­ve­lo­pe to me.'

    The short man con­ti­nu­ed to re­gard him wit­ho­ut mo­ving. 'Switch that torch on aga­in,' he sa­id, so Pe­ter did.

    'Do you know why you ne­ver see two ro­bins on a Christ­mas card?' the man as­ked him sud­denly.

    Peter did not.

    'It's be­ca­use if you ever find two ro­bins to­get­her, they fight each ot­her to the de­ath. Did you know that? You can only ever find one ro­bin in one pla­ce at a ti­me. The sa­me with one or two ot­her cre­atu­res.'

    Peter had no idea of what this Mr Anth­ro­pe was get­ting at. He had ma­de no men­ti­on of ro­bins. Ro­bins had not­hing to do with it. And what ot­her cre­atu­res?

    The man's fa­ce was be­gin­ning to chan­ge rat­her stran­gely in the mo­on­light, which was now shi­ning full upon him. If was as if his be­ard was gro­wing mo­re straggly, so­me­how, and the fa­ce be­co­ming mo­re li­ned, and his lips se­emed so­me­how to be thin­ner and mo­re drawn back over his te­eth. Pe­ter only just no­ti­ced, too, now that the light was brigh­ter, how ha­iry this man's hands we­re. Pe­ter tur­ned off the torch, be­ca­use he did not ne­ed it now.

    Then Mr Anth­ro­pe did a very stran­ge thing. He ca­me right out to the ed­ge of his do­ors­tep and le­aned for­ward to­wards Pe­ter as if he was go­ing to whis­per so­met­hing to him.

    Then Mr Anth­ro­pe's mo­uth was so­mew­he­re ne­ar his ear, and Pe­ter, al­ways cu­ri­o­us, stra­ined to be ab­le to he­ar what Mr Anth­ro­pe was abo­ut to whis­per to him. He was as­to­nis­hed then to fe­el the bo­nes in the si­de of his neck crunc­hing, and blo­od run­ning down in­si­de his shirt. He didn't even ha­ve ti­me to cry out be­fo­re long na­ils we­re te­aring at his flesh.

    

    

8/ John Gordon – Eels

    

    Rosemary was ten when she was smot­he­red by Aunt Jen­ny and fed to the eels.

    Oh, de­ar me, how easy it was. Po­or lamb, to go so swe­etly. But I was very angry at the ti­me. 'And the stran­ge thing is,' sa­id Miss Jen­ny Jer­vis alo­ud, 'I am a sing­le lady wit­ho­ut brot­hers or sis­ters, so I'm not re­al­ly her aunt.'

    'Everyone knows that,' sa­id Mrs Berry. 'When's that blas­ted bus co­ming?' They we­re wa­iting at Church Brid­ge for the bin­go bus to ta­ke them to Ter­ring­ton out ac­ross the fens.

    'But she al­ways cal­led me aun­tie - I can't think why.'

    'And I can't think why you sud­denly star­ted to co­me to bin­go. Gamb­ling - that ain't li­ke you, Jen­ny Jer­vis.'

    Miss Jer­vis sim­pe­red. 'May­be I'm fe­eling lucky, Pho­ebe.'

    Heavens, yes. Very lucky. First Ro­se­mary with the eels, and now Ro­se­mary's mot­her has pas­sed away. By ac­ci­dent. So she'll ne­ver co­me lo­oking for her dar­ling lit­tle Ro­se­mary aga­in. How very con­ve­ni­ent. No ne­ed of eels for her.

    'I fe­el fresh as a da­isy to­day,' sa­id Miss Jer­vis. 'Free as a bird.'

    'Damned if you don't lo­ok it.' Mrs Berry cast an eye over the flo­we­red dress, the glo­ves and the whi­te hat with a hint of ve­il ac­ross Miss Jer­vis's brow. 'It's not a wed­ding, you know - only blo­ody bin­go.'

    'It ple­ases you to be blunt, Pho­ebe,' sa­id Miss Jer­vis, 'but ot­her pe­op­le are not so un­kind. Ro­se­mary for one - alt­ho­ugh,' she ad­ded mo­destly, 'I still can't think why she has al­ways be­en so ni­ce to me.'

    'Don't co­me that with me,' sa­id Mrs Berry. 'You know well eno­ugh.' The bus ca­me drif­ting along the wa­ter­si­de. 'And for God's sa­ke help me up the­se blas­ted steps.'

    Mrs Berry, un­li­ke Miss Jer­vis, was fat and her hips we­re so bad she co­uld hardly lift her fe­et. She han­ded over her stick be­fo­re she gras­ped the hand­ra­il. 'And wi­pe that stu­pid exp­res­si­on off of yo­ur fa­ce, Jen­ny Jer­vis. The girl calls you aun­tie be­ca­use she lo­ves you, God knows why.'

    Miss Jer­vis held the stick by the mid­dle and kept it cle­ar of the gro­und in ca­se germs ran up it and in­to her glo­ves. 'I've only be­en do­ing my duty by the girl,' she sa­id.

    'Duty be blo­wed.' Mrs Berry's grunt was muf­fled in her fat bo­som as she he­aved her way up­wards. 'Who ca­res abo­ut duty? - you don't, for one.'

    'You are wrong the­re, Pho­ebe.' Miss Jer­vis re­gar­ded the bro­ad re­ar end.

    Quite wrong. My duty was to dis­patch the child. She sho­uld ne­ver ha­ve be­en born, so it was her des­tiny, the dar­ling.

    'I ha­ve a strong sen­se of duty,' she sa­id.

    'Squit! You ha­ve a strong sen­se of lo­oking af­ter num­ber one - li­ke the rest of us.'

    'Here's yo­ur stick, de­ar.' Miss Jer­vis han­ded it over, and dus­ted off the tips of her glo­ves.

    'And don't call me de­ar!' Mrs Berry had fo­und a se­at and was pe­eling the wrap­per from a pack of king si­ze. 'I'm not in a blo­ody rest ho­me yet.'

    The bus be­gan to mo­ve, and Miss Jer­vis lo­oked down in­to the ri­ver as it slid by.

    Silly to call it a ri­ver, but they all do. It's a dra­ina­ge cut, as they very well know, be­ca­use the wa­ter's qu­ite still and not li­ke a ri­ver at all. For­tu­na­te, re­al­ly, be­ca­use I knew just whe­re Ro­se­mary was un­til the eels had fi­nis­hed with her. It was qu­ite hygi­enic. All I had to do was wrap up the bo­nes and put them in the dust­bin a few at a ti­me un­til the­re was not­hing left. Not­hing.

    'What are you smi­ling at?'

    'Just tho­ughts,' sa­id Miss Jer­vis.

    'Once a scho­ol­te­ac­her, al­ways a blo­ody scho­ol­te­ac­her. You're just the sa­me as you was when you was a kid, Jen­ny Jer­vis. An­yo­ne co­uld've se­en you was ne­ver re­al­ly go­ing to put that scho­ol be­hind you.'

    'Don't get so cross with me, Pho­ebe. The­re's not­hing wrong with be­ing a te­ac­her.'

    Headmistress, ac­tu­al­ly, when I re­ti­red. And what did you ever do, fat Pho­ebe?

    'I lo­ve be­ing with child­ren,' she sa­id.

    'You ne­ver sho­wed much sign of it.' Mrs Berry plug­ged a ci­ga­ret­te in­to her plump fa­ce and wa­ved a fla­me at it. 'You ne­ver got mar­ri­ed, did you? Ne­ver had no child­ren of yo­ur own, ne­ver hardly got away from this vil­la­ge whe­re you was born.'

    'I was away at tra­ining col­le­ge for three ye­ars, don't for­get.'

    'Training col­le­ge.' Mrs Berry clic­ked her ton­gue. 'That must've be­en a ri­ot.'

    Phoebe, Pho­ebe, I had a baby.

    The rhyme sprang to Miss Jer­vis's mind and ma­de her smi­le.

    I had a baby, and I don't me­an may­be.

    She lo­oked out of the win­dow.

    Mrs Berry, who had be­en watc­hing her from the cor­ner of her eye, sa­id, 'You can't tell me you girls didn't get up to so­me fun and ga­mes when you was away from ho­me.'

    Miss Jer­vis ra­ised her eyeb­rows. 'We we­re tra­ining to be te­ac­hers, Pho­ebe, so not­hing very ter­rib­le hap­pe­ned.'

    Except, of co­ur­se, I had a baby girl and co­uldn't co­me ho­me for a whi­le.

    'And any­way,' she smi­led, 'even if the­re had be­en so­met­hing I was as­ha­med of I wo­uldn't ha­ve let an­yo­ne know, wo­uld I?'

    'You're grin­ning li­ke a cat that's had the cre­am,' sa­id Mrs Berry.

    'Am I? I won­der why.'

    And you may well turn away with that dis­gus­ted exp­res­si­on on yo­ur fa­ce, fat Pho­ebe, be­ca­use now the­re's no chan­ce at all you'll ever find out an­y­t­hing.

    Using both hands, Miss Jer­vis smo­ot­hed her dress firmly ac­ross her thighs and spo­ke to her­self very cle­arly.

    And wo­uldn't you just lo­ve to know that the da­ugh­ter I had was adop­ted and grew up to ha­ve a da­ugh­ter of her own? And that lit­tle girl was Ro­se­mary - so I'm not her aun­tie; I'm her granny. I'm a granny, Pho­ebe, just li­ke you.

    'Anyway,' she sa­id misc­hi­evo­usly, 'I don't sup­po­se my sins will ever co­me ho­me to ro­ost now.'

    'Not that you ever had no­ne.'

    'Not that I ever had any,' sa­id Miss Jer­vis primly, but she co­uld not help a shi­ver, be­ca­use her sin very ne­arly had co­me ho­me to ro­ost. Not long sin­ce.

    But you don't know that, Pho­ebe. I had my baby adop­ted the day af­ter she was born and I tho­ught she was go­ne for ever.

    Miss Jer­vis clo­sed her eyes.

    And then af­ter all tho­se ye­ars… she fo­und me!

    'It was a ter­rib­le mo­ment' - the words ca­me out be­fo­re she co­uld stop them.

    'What was?'

    'I me­an it must be a ter­rib­le mo­ment when yo­ur sins catch up with you.' She ga­ve a lit­tle gri­ma­ce.

    You'll ne­ver catch me out, Pho­ebe fat­bum. Not now. Ro­se­mary has go­ne, and now my de­ar da­ugh­ter is al­so no lon­ger with us.

    'Did you re­ad abo­ut that aw­ful pla­ne crash?' she as­ked.

    'What abo­ut it?' Mrs Berry was an­no­yed at the sud­den chan­ge of su­bj­ect.

    'Well, I was just won­de­ring abo­ut tho­se po­or pe­op­le. The­ir sins ca­ught up with them, didn't they?'

    My da­ugh­ter, for one. She dum­ped that Ro­se­mary on me, and thre­ate­ned to gi­ve away my sec­ret if I didn't ta­ke her, just so she co­uld gad abo­ut with her boyf­ri­end. Well, now she's go­ne, her and her boyf­ri­end. Ser­ve 'em both right.

    Miss Jer­vis had re­ad the pas­sen­ger list. 'It's so sad,' she sa­id.

    'Not that you lo­ok it.'

    'Well, it's such a lo­vely day.'

    And I'm so lucky. No­body left to ask qu­es­ti­ons abo­ut Ro­se­mary; no mo­re black­ma­il from Ro­se­mary's mot­her.

    'I can't ne­ver fat­hom you out.' Mrs Berry, be­ca­use her fat legs pres­sed in­to the se­at in front, let ash drib­ble in­to her lap. 'You was he­ad­mist­ress, with yo­ur own lit­tle ho­use by the ri­ver, everyt­hing you ever wan­ted - and then you had to go and sad­dle yo­ur­self with that kid Ro­se­mary. At yo­ur ti­me of li­fe.'

    'It was be­ca­use of a fri­end from the old days.'

    A fri­end! I me­an my de­ar da­ugh­ter - hap­pily no lon­ger with us.

    'And my lit­tle ho­me was just per­fect for the two of us.'

    'Well, kids are kids - I won­der you co­uld stand ha­ving yo­ur pla­ce mes­sed up.'

    'But it was no prob­lem, Pho­ebe, no prob­lem at all.'

    Until the stu­pid child be­gan to whi­ne for the mot­her who didn't want her.

    'Because she is such a swe­et lit­tle girl,' sa­id Miss Jer­vis.

    Was a lit­tle girl. And swe­et at the end. She drif­ted away so softly un­der her pil­low she co­uld hardly ha­ve felt its to­uch.

    'So swe­et,' sig­hed Miss Jer­vis.

    'Sweet as a su­gar plum, no do­ubt, but it was ne­ver yo­ur way to bur­den yo­ur­self.'

    'You ha­ve a cru­el ton­gue, Pho­ebe, but my de­eds spe­ak lo­uder than words.'

    'Hark at lit­tle Miss.„ Prim. Ne­ver do­ne a thing wrong in her who­le li­fe - I don't think.'

    It was sa­id so kno­wingly that Miss Jer­vis felt a to­uch of an­xi­ety. 'I don't un­ders­tand you,' she sa­id.

    'I know so­met­hing you do­ne, Jen­ny Jer­vis… so­met­hing you was as­ha­med of.'

    Mrs Berry's eyes sud­denly had such a hard glint that Miss Jer­vis lo­oked away.

    But it co­uldn't be Ro­se­mary. Every­body be­li­eved me when I sa­id she'd go­ne ho­me to her mot­her.

    'You was a na­ughty girl on­ce.' Mrs Berry was sly, and wa­ited to see the ef­fect. 'That's ma­de you go pa­le, ain't it?'

    'There's not­hing on my cons­ci­en­ce, Pho­ebe.'

    'Well, the­re sho­uld be.'

    Miss Jer­vis sat qu­ite still.

    'You go­ne whi­te just li­ke you did then. First you went whi­te, then you went red and then you star­ted to cry and sa­id it wasn't yo­ur fa­ult. You'd ha­ve do­ne anyt­hing to stop ot­her pe­op­le kno­wing what you do­ne. And I was the one who co­uld've sha­med you, Jen­ny Jer­vis.'

    Miss Jer­vis ma­de a tiny mo­ve­ment with her glo­ves.

    'I see you re­mem­ber it now - that day when we was kids and you snitc­hed so­me swe­ets from a girl's desk.' Her eyes we­re on Miss Jer­vis. 'And I se­en you do it.'

    'Is that all?' Miss Jer­vis let out her bre­ath.

    'All, you say. All'

    'I was only trying to put her bo­oks stra­ight.' Miss Jer­vis was an­no­yed to find that her mo­uth had go­ne dry.

    'Then why did you sni­vel and gro­vel and pro­mi­se me anyt­hing so long as I wo­uldn't tell? Bo­oks my fo­ot!'

    'But…'

    'No buts. You're still ma­king ex­cu­ses. You ne­ver did gi­ve a tho­ught to that po­or girl you was thi­eving from - all you ca­red abo­ut was that you sho­uldn't be sha­med. That's what you was af­ra­id of- sha­me.'

    Miss Jer­vis to­ok a hand­kerc­hi­ef from her glo­ve. 'I think you're trying to spo­il my lit­tle outing, Pho­ebe.'

    'And now it's te­ars. Just as it al­ways was. You ha­ven't chan­ged one lit­tle bit.'

    Miss Jer­vis blew her no­se. 'I'm re­li­eved that I ha­ven't any wor­se ske­le­tons in my cup­bo­ard,' she sa­id. 'Per­haps I'm lucky.'

    And she was. She won at bin­go. She co­uld do not­hing wrong, and knew it in her bo­nes. So when the old wo­man sit­ting next to her was ca­re­less with her pur­se, Miss Jer­vis dip­ped her fin­gers in­to it and ca­me out with a no­te.

    She was put­ting it in­to her hand­bag be­fo­re she re­ali­zed she had be­en spot­ted. A fin­ger was po­in­ted, and si­len­ce spre­ad out­wards from whe­re she sat un­til the hall was full of wax­works with every he­ad tur­ned her way.

    'But I was only hel­ping her to buy her tic­kets,' she sa­id, and the si­len­ce de­epe­ned.

    Outside, Mrs Berry sa­id, 'Get on the bus and shut up.' She ma­de Miss Jer­vis sit next to the win­dow and sat be­si­de her to wed­ge her in and pre­vent her get­ting to the ais­le. 'I don't want you flin­ging yo­ur­self off of this bus and ma­king mo­re tro­ub­le for every­body.'

    Miss Jer­vis's vo­ice had al­most go­ne. 'I was only go­ing to gi­ve her so­me chan­ge for her tic­kets,' she whis­pe­red. Her thro­at hurt.

    'Just stay qu­i­et.' Mrs Berry was smo­king hard. 'No­body wants to he­ar you.'

    There had be­en a lot of chat­ter and la­ugh­ter on the bus go­ing out. Now the so­und of vo­ices ba­rely ro­se abo­ve the rumb­le of the whe­els, and all the wo­men watc­hed in si­len­ce when it drew up at the wa­ter­si­de and Mrs Berry and Miss Jer­vis got off.

    'You lo­ok a bit tot­tery.' Mrs Berry, le­aning on her stick, to­ok pity on her. 'Wo­uld you li­ke to ha­ve a cup of tea with me?'

    'No thank you, Pho­ebe.'

    It was dusk, but the air was still warm. Mrs Berry tri­ed to ma­ke con­ver­sa­ti­on. 'Lo­vely eve­ning,' she sa­id. 'Lots of mid­ges, tho­ugh.' They co­uld just be se­en abo­ve the pa­le sur­fa­ce of the wa­ter, dan­cing in cong­re­ga­ti­ons. Be­fo­re long they wo­uld be in­vi­sib­le. Miss Jer­vis watc­hed them but sa­id not­hing.

    'Don't worry abo­ut it,' sa­id Mrs Berry. 'It won't se­em so bad in the mor­ning.' She bre­at­hed he­avily, as tho­ugh kind­li­ness cost her an ef­fort. 'No­ne of us is per­fect.'

    Miss Jer­vis mur­mu­red go­od night, and Mrs Berry watc­hed un­til she had tra­iled slowly ac­ross the ro­ad to her front do­or, fumb­led for her key and let her­self in.

    Mrs Berry wal­ked pa­in­ful­ly away. 'Stu­pid blo­ody wo­man,' she grun­ted. 'Lo­oks as if she wants to do away with her­self. Well, she sho­uldn't ha­ve do­ne what she do­ne in the first pla­ce.'

    Miss Jer­vis did, in fact, ha­ve de­ath in mind. How co­uld she fa­ce an­yo­ne ever aga­in? She put on her nightd­ress but did not go to bed. Ins­te­ad she sat by the empty fi­rep­la­ce un­til the day­light had was­hed it­self out of the sky, and then she ope­ned her front do­or and went ba­re­fo­ot ac­ross the ro­ad to the wa­ter­si­de. She had un­pin­ned her ha­ir, and the grey strands hung lo­osely. It no lon­ger mat­te­red.

    She went ca­re­ful­ly, out of ha­bit, down the grassy bank, and be­fo­re her to­es to­uc­hed the wa­ter she le­ant over and lo­oked down. The mo­ve­ment al­lo­wed her un­pin­ned ha­ir to brush her fa­ce, and sa­ved her li­fe.

    The to­uch of her ha­ir swin­ging aga­inst her fa­ce ma­de her auto­ma­ti­cal­ly lift her he­ad to brush it away, and it was then she saw the mid­ges. Pho­ebe Berry was right; the­re we­re clo­uds of them. As they gyra­ted they ma­de sha­pes as wispy as bub­bles on the po­int of burs­ting. If cre­atu­res so flimsy con­ti­nu­ed to exist, why sho­uld she die?

    Miss Jer­vis tur­ned away, and slip­ped. She sho­uld ha­ve known how tre­ac­he­ro­us the bank was be­ca­use it was he­re she had we­igh­ted Ro­se­mary for the eels. But now she had let both fe­et sli­de in­to the wa­ter, and she had to strug­gle be­fo­re she ma­na­ged to get a tight eno­ugh grip on the grass to crawl up the bank.

    The ed­ge of her night­gown was wet and clung to her ank­les as she cros­sed the ro­ad, and as so­on as she was in­do­ors she chan­ged it.

    'Now a ni­ce hot cup of tea, Miss Jer­vis,' she sa­id, lec­tu­ring her­self, 'and no mo­re non­sen­se.'

    The so­und of her own vo­ice ma­de her fe­el stron­ger. She wo­uld go to bin­go aga­in and bra­zen it out. She wo­uld be ge­ne­ro­us, so ge­ne­ro­us that they wo­uld all be overw­hel­med with gu­ilt for ac­cu­sing her. And then she wo­uld for­gi­ve them, and they wo­uld res­pect her even mo­re.

    'Because you stand for so­met­hing in this vil­la­ge,' she told her­self, 'and al­ways will.' She dri­ed her fe­et vi­go­ro­usly. 'Now off to bed with you.'

    Despite the rub­bing, her fe­et and ank­les re­ma­ined cold so she to­ok a hot wa­ter bot­tle with her. The bed was so­on lu­xu­ri­o­usly warm, and her mind was at rest.

    She slept so so­undly that she awo­ke with cramp down one si­de and not­hing wo­uld ease the pa­in un­til she mo­ved abo­ut her ro­om. It was still dark, and she pul­led asi­de the cur­ta­ins, as she had so of­ten do­ne, to lo­ok at the wa­ter and be cer­ta­in that not­hing was dis­tur­bing Ro­se­mary. That worry was do­ne with fo­re­ver.

    It was a sum­mer's night and eno­ugh light fil­te­red from the sky to show the smo­oth fa­ce of the ri­ver, and even the track of bent grass she had left in the ver­ge. And her wet fo­otp­rints still led to the do­or.

    'The sun will be my fri­end,' she sa­id. 'All will be dry so­on.'

    She slid back in­to bed. The wa­ter bot­tle was cold and she pus­hed it to one si­de, but its co­ol­ness lin­ge­red. She thrust it furt­her away and gas­ped with an­no­yan­ce. It must ha­ve burst be­ca­use a cold wet­ness was on her fe­et. She sat up and re­ac­hed down. The chill rub­ber was clammy. Slimy. It slip­ped un­der her fin­gers as tho­ugh it was mo­ving. She flung it out of bed. It slap­ped the flo­or, but she had used too much vi­olen­ce be­ca­use she he­ard it slit­her furt­her.

    'Damn!' Miss Jer­vis ne­ver swo­re, but she was angry. The wa­ter bot­tle wo­uld be le­aking all over the flo­or, and she al­so had to chan­ge the bed. 'Damn!'

    She threw asi­de the bed­co­ver, but the damp she­et had twis­ted aro­und her fe­et. She was re­ac­hing down to un­tang­le her­self when her he­art thud­ded. She was not alo­ne in the ro­om. Sil­ho­u­et­ted aga­inst the win­dow was a sha­pe.

    Fear had ma­de Miss Jer­vis crin­ge back­wards, but sud­denly she le­ant for­ward, and now her he­art was po­un­ding with an­ger. The sil­ho­u­et­te was hu­man. But it was ne­it­her tall nor bro­ad. It was a child. One of her pu­pils. So­me stu­pid prank.

    'Get out!' It was a clas­sro­om or­der. 'Get out at on­ce!'

    The child, ho­we­ver, ca­me for­ward, slowly and he­avily. Its fo­ots­teps drag­ged as if with a gre­at we­ight.

    'I'll see you pay for this!'

    Miss Jer­vis gat­he­red her­self to lun­ge, but her fe­et wo­uld not obey her. They wo­uld not mo­ve. She re­ac­hed down. The bed was wet and cold, but it was not the she­et that had trap­ped her fe­et. So­met­hing slip­pery had co­iled it­self aro­und her ank­les. And it was mo­ving. She felt so­met­hing sli­de bet­we­en her to­es and ten­derly be­gin to stro­ke her leg.

    'No!' she cri­ed. 'No!'

    Feverishly, trying to pull back at the sa­me ti­me, she re­ac­hed down. Her fin­gers plun­ged in­to a nest of eels.

    Miss Jer­vis scre­amed. She flung her hands to the bed­ra­il to ha­ul her­self free. She strug­gled. The cold grip tigh­te­ned and held her legs still. She co­uld not mo­ve.

    She was whim­pe­ring as the child ca­me clo­ser. Its fo­ots­teps slit­he­red and squ­elc­hed and it bro­ught the dark­ness of de­ep wa­ter in­to the ro­om. It stop­ped by the bed­si­de, and a hand re­ac­hed out to hold hers. If it was a hand. Miss Jer­vis ne­ver knew.

    The child's fin­gers writ­hed and we­re slimy. And the child's he­ad, when it bent over her, had many damp tend­rils of ha­ir that, eager and slip­pery, re­ac­hed out to bu­sily ca­ress her fa­ce, lo­ving her.

    When the sun ca­me up and fil­led the ro­om with warmth, Miss Jer­vis lay qu­ite still. Her night­gown, ho­we­ver, he­aved with a li­fe of its own.

    

    

9/ Bram Stoker - Jonathan Marker's Journal

    

    I sup­po­se I must ha­ve fal­len as­le­ep; I ho­pe so, but I fe­ar, for all that fol­lo­wed was start­lingly re­al - so re­al that now, sit­ting he­re in the bro­ad, full sun­light of the mor­ning, I can­not in the le­ast be­li­eve that it was all sle­ep.

    I was not alo­ne. The ro­om was the sa­me, unc­han­ged in any way sin­ce I ca­me in­to it; I co­uld see along the flo­or, in the bril­li­ant mo­on­light, my own fo­ots­teps mar­ked whe­re I had dis­tur­bed the long ac­cu­mu­la­ti­on of dust. In the mo­on­light op­po­si­te me we­re three yo­ung wo­men, la­di­es by the­ir dress and man­ner. I tho­ught at the ti­me that I must be dre­aming when I saw them, for, tho­ugh the mo­on­light was be­hind them, they threw no sha­dow on the flo­or. They ca­me clo­se to me and lo­oked at me for so­me ti­me and then whis­pe­red to­get­her. Two we­re dark, and had high aqu­ili­ne no­ses, li­ke the Co­unt's, and gre­at dark, pi­er­cing eyes, that se­emed to be al­most red when cont­ras­ted with the pa­le yel­low mo­on. The ot­her was fa­ir, as fa­ir as can be, with gre­at, wavy mas­ses of gol­den ha­ir and eyes li­ke pa­le sap­phi­res. I se­emed so­me­how to know her fa­ce, and to know it in con­nec­ti­on with so­me dre­amy fe­ar, but I co­uld not re­col­lect at the mo­ment how or whe­re. All three had bril­li­ant whi­te te­eth, that sho­ne li­ke pe­arls aga­inst the ruby of the­ir vo­lup­tu­o­us lips. The­re was so­met­hing abo­ut them that ma­de me une­asy, so­me lon­ging and at the sa­me ti­me so­me de­adly fe­ar. I felt in my he­art a wic­ked, bur­ning de­si­re that they wo­uld kiss me with tho­se red lips. It is not go­od to no­te this down, lest so­me day it sho­uld me­et Mi­na's eyes and ca­use her pa­in; but it is the truth. They whis­pe­red to­get­her, and then they all three la­ug­hed - such a sil­very, mu­si­cal la­ugh, but as hard as tho­ugh the so­und ne­ver co­uld ha­ve co­me thro­ugh the soft­ness of hu­man lips. It was li­ke the in­to­le­rab­le, ting­ling swe­et­ness of wa­ter-glas­ses when pla­yed on by a cun­ning hand. The fa­ir girl sho­ok her he­ad co­qu­et-tishly, and the ot­her two ur­ged her on. One sa­id:

    'Go on! You are first, and we shall fol­low; yo­urs is the right to be­gin.' The ot­her ad­ded:

    'He is yo­ung and strong; the­re are kis­ses for us all.' I lay qu­i­et, lo­oking out un­der my eye­las­hes in an agony of de­light­ful an­ti­ci­pa­ti­on. The fa­ir girl ad­van­ced and bent over me till I co­uld fe­el the mo­ve­ment of her bre­ath upon me. Swe­et it was in one sen­se, ho­ney-swe­et, and sent the sa­me ting­ling thro­ugh the ner­ves as her vo­ice, but with a bit­ter un­derl­ying the swe­et, a bit­ter of­fen­si­ve­ness, as one smells in blo­od.

    I was af­ra­id to ra­ise my eye­lids, but lo­oked out and saw per­fectly un­der the las­hes. The fa­ir girl went on her kne­es and bent over me, fa­irly glo­ating. The­re was a de­li­be­ra­te vo­lup­tu­o­us­ness which was both thril­ling and re­pul­si­ve, and as she arc­hed her neck she ac­tu­al­ly lic­ked her lips li­ke an ani­mal, till I co­uld see in the mo­on­light the mo­is­tu­re shi­ning on the scar­let lips and on the red ton­gue as it lap­ped the whi­te sharp te­eth. Lo­wer and lo­wer went her he­ad as the lips went be­low the ran­ge of my mo­uth and chin and se­emed abo­ut to fas­ten on my thro­at. Then she pa­used, and I co­uld he­ar the chur­ning so­und of her ton­gue as it lic­ked her te­eth and lips, and co­uld fe­el the hot bre­ath on my neck. Then the skin of my thro­at be­gan to ting­le as one's flesh do­es when the hand that is to tick­le it ap­pro­ac­hes ne­arer - ne­arer. I co­uld fe­el the soft, shi­ve­ring to­uch of the lips on the su­per­sen­si­ti­ve skin of my thro­at, and the hard dents of two sharp te­eth, just to­uc­hing and pa­using the­re. I clo­sed my eyes in a lan­gu­oro­us ecs­tasy and wa­ited - wa­ited with be­ating he­art.

    But at that ins­tant anot­her sen­sa­ti­on swept thro­ugh me as qu­ick as light­ning. I was cons­ci­o­us of the pre­sen­ce of the Co­unt, and of his be­ing as if lap­ped in a storm of fury. As my eyes ope­ned in­vo­lun­ta­rily I saw his strong hand grasp the slen­der neck of the fa­ir wo­man and with gi­ant's po­wer draw it back, the blue eyes trans­for­med with fury, the whi­te te­eth cham­ping with ra­ge, and the fa­ir che­eks bla­zing red with pas­si­on. But the Co­unt! Ne­ver did I ima­gi­ne such wrath and fury, even in the de­mons of the pit. His eyes we­re po­si­ti­vely bla­zing. The red light in them was lu­rid, as if the fla­mes of hell-fi­re bla­zed be­hind them. His fa­ce was de­athly pa­le, and the li­nes of it we­re hard li­ke drawn wi­res; the thick eyeb­rows that met over the no­se now se­emed li­ke a he­aving bar of whi­te-hot me­tal. With a fi­er­ce swe­ep of his arm, he hur­led the wo­man from him, and then mo­ti­oned to the ot­hers, as tho­ugh he we­re be­ating them back; it was the sa­me im­pe­ri­o­us ges­tu­re that I had se­en used to the wol­ves. In a vo­ice which, tho­ugh low and al­most a whis­per, se­emed to cut thro­ugh the air and then ring ro­und the ro­om, he exc­la­imed:

    'How da­re you to­uch him, any of you? How da­re you cast eyes on him when I had for­bid­den it? Back, I tell you all! This man be­longs to me! Be­wa­re how you med­dle with him, or you'll ha­ve to de­al with me.' The fa­ir girl, with a la­ugh of ri­bald co­qu­etry, tur­ned to ans­wer him:

    'You yo­ur­self ne­ver lo­ved; you ne­ver lo­ve!' On this the ot­her wo­men jo­ined, and such a mirth­less, hard, so­ul­less la­ugh­ter rang thro­ugh the ro­om that it al­most ma­de me fa­int to he­ar; it se­emed li­ke the ple­asu­re of fi­ends. Then the Co­unt tur­ned, af­ter lo­oking at my fa­ce at­ten­ti­vely, and sa­id in a soft whis­per:

    'Yes, I too can lo­ve; you yo­ur­sel­ves can tell it from the past. Is it not so? Well, now I pro­mi­se you that when I am do­ne with him, you shall kiss him at yo­ur will. Now go! go! I must awa­ken him, for the­re is work to be do­ne.'

    'Are we to ha­ve not­hing to­night?' sa­id one of them, with a low la­ugh, as she po­in­ted to the bag which he had thrown upon the flo­or, and which mo­ved as tho­ugh the­re we­re so­me li­ving thing wit­hin it. For ans­wer he nod­ded his he­ad. One of the wo­men jum­ped for­ward and ope­ned it. If my ears did not de­ce­ive me the­re was a gasp and a low wa­il, as of a half-smot­he­red child. The wo­men clo­sed ro­und, whilst I was ag­hast with hor­ror; but as I lo­oked they di­sap­pe­ared, and with them the dre­ad­ful bag. The­re was no do­or ne­ar them, and they co­uld not ha­ve pas­sed me wit­ho­ut my no­ti­cing. They simply se­emed to fa­de in­to the rays of the mo­on­light and pass out thro­ugh the win­dow, for I co­uld see out­si­de the dim, sha­dowy forms for a mo­ment be­fo­re they en­ti­rely fa­ded away.

    Then the hor­ror over­ca­me me, and I sank down un­cons­ci­o­us.

    

    

10/ Anthony Horowitz - Bath Night

    

    She didn't li­ke the bath from the start. Isa­bel was at ho­me the Sa­tur­day they de­li­ve­red it and won­de­red how the fat, me­tal be­ast was ever go­ing to ma­ke it up one flight of sta­irs, aro­und the cor­ner, and in­to the bath­ro­om. The two scrawny work­men didn't se­em to ha­ve much idea eit­her. Thirty mi­nu­tes, fo­ur gas­hed knuck­les and a hund­red swe­ar words la­ter it se­emed to be ho­pe­les­sly wed­ged and it was only when Isa­bel's fat­her lent a hand that they we­re ab­le to free it. But then one of the stubby legs ca­ught the wal­lpa­per and to­re it and that led to anot­her ar­gu­ment right in front of the work­men, her mot­her and fat­her bla­ming each ot­her li­ke they al­ways did.

    'I told you to me­asu­re it.'

    'I did me­asu­re it.'

    'Yes. But you sa­id the legs ca­me off.'

    'No. That's what you sa­id.'

    It was so typi­cal of her pa­rents to buy that bath, Isa­bel tho­ught. An­yo­ne el­se wo­uld ha­ve be­en in­to the West End to one of the smart de­part­ment sto­res. Pick so­met­hing out of the show­ro­om. Out with the cre­dit card. De­li­very and free ins­tal­la­ti­on in six we­eks and thank you very much.

    But Jeremy and Su­san Har­ding we­ren't li­ke that. Ever sin­ce they had bo­ught the­ir small, turn-of-the-cen­tury ho­use in Mus­well Hill, North Lon­don, they had de­vo­ted the­ir ho­li­days to get­ting it just right. And sin­ce they we­re both te­ac­hers - he at a pub­lic scho­ol, she in a lo­cal pri­mary - the­ir ho­li­days we­re fre­qu­ent and long.

    And so the di­ning-ro­om tab­le had co­me from an an­ti­que shop in Hun­ger­ford, the cha­irs that sur­ro­un­ded it from a ho­use sa­le in Ho­ve. The kitc­hen cup­bo­ards had be­en res­cu­ed from a skip in Mac­cles­fi­eld. And the­ir do­ub­le bed had be­en a rus­ting, tang­led he­ap when they had fo­und it in the barn of a French farm­ho­use out­si­de Bo­ulog­ne. So many we­ekends. So many ho­urs spent se­arc­hing, me­asu­ring, ima­gi­ning, hag­gling and ar­gu­ing.

    That was the worst of it. As far as Isa­bel co­uld see, her pa­rents didn't se­em to get any ple­asu­re out of all the­se an­ti­qu­es. They fo­ught cons­tantly - in the shops, in the mar­ket pla­ces, even at the auc­ti­ons. On­ce her fat­her had got so he­ated he had ac­tu­al­ly bro­ken the Vic­to­ri­an cham­ber pot they had be­en ar­gu­ing abo­ut and of co­ur­se he'd had to buy it any­way. It was in the hall now, glu­ed back to­get­her aga­in, the all-too-vi­sib­le cracks an unp­le­asant ima­ge of the­ir twel­ve-ye­ar-old mar­ri­age.

    The bath was Vic­to­ri­an too. Isa­bel had be­en with her pa­rents when they bo­ught it - at an arc­hi­tec­tu­ral sal­va­ge yard in West Lon­don. 'Ma­de in abo­ut 1890,' the de­aler had told them. 'A re­al be­a­uty. It's still got its own taps…'

    It cer­ta­inly didn't lo­ok be­a­uti­ful as it squ­at­ted the­re on the strip­ped pi­ne flo­or, sur­ro­un­ded by stops and was­hers and twis­ting lengths of pi­pe. It re­min­ded Isa­bel of a preg­nant cow, its gre­at whi­te belly han­ging only inc­hes off the gro­und. Its me­tal fe­et cur­ved out­wards, spla­yed, as if unab­le to be­ar the we­ight. And of co­ur­se it had be­en de­ca­pi­ta­ted. The­re was a sing­le ro­und ho­le whe­re the taps wo­uld be and be­ne­ath it an ugly yel­low sta­in in the whi­te ena­mel whe­re the wa­ter had trick­led down for per­haps a hund­red ye­ars, on its way to the plug-ho­le be­low. Isa­bel glan­ced at the tap, lying on its si­de next to the sink, a tang­le of mot­tled brass that lo­oked too big for the bath it was me­ant to sit on. The­re we­re two hand­les, mar­ked with a black H and a C on fa­ded ivory discs - but only one out­let. Isa­bel ima­gi­ned the wa­ter thun­de­ring in. It wo­uld ne­ed to. The bath was very de­ep.

    But no­body used the bath that night. Jeremy had sa­id he wo­uld be ab­le to con­nect it up him­self but in the end he had fo­und it was be­yond him. Not­hing fit­ted. It wo­uld ha­ve to be sol­de­red. Un­for­tu­na­tely he wo­uldn't be ab­le to get a plum­ber un­til Mon­day and of co­ur­se it wo­uld add anot­her forty po­unds to the bill and when he told Su­san that led to anot­her ar­gu­ment. They ate the­ir din­ner in front of the te­le­vi­si­on that night, let­ting the shal­low la­ugh­ter of a sit­com co­ver the chill si­len­ce in the ro­om.

    And then it was ni­ne o'clock. 'You'd bet­ter go to bed early, dar­ling. Scho­ol to­mor­row,' Su­san sa­id.

    'Yes, Mum.' Isa­bel was twel­ve but her mot­her - a short and rat­her se­ve­re wo­man - tre­ated her so­me­ti­mes as if she we­re much yo­un­ger. May­be it ca­me from te­ac­hing in a pri­mary scho­ol.

    Isabel und­res­sed and was­hed qu­ickly - hands, fa­ce, neck, te­eth, in that or­der. The fa­ce that ga­zed out at her from the gil­ded mir­ror abo­ve the sink wasn't an unat­trac­ti­ve one, she tho­ught, ex­cept for the an­no­ying pimp­le on her no­se… a pu­nish­ment for the Mars Bar ice-cre­am she'd eaten the day be­fo­re. Long brown ha­ir and blue eyes (her mot­her's), a thin fa­ce with nar­row che­ek-bo­nes and chin (her fat­her's). She had be­en fat un­til she was ni­ne but now she was get­ting her­self in sha­pe. She'd ne­ver be a su­per-mo­del. She was too fond of ice-cre­am for that. But no fatty eit­her, not li­ke Be­lin­da Pri­ce, her best fri­end at scho­ol who was do­omed to a li­fe of ho­pe­less di­ets and baggy clot­hes.

    The sha­pe of the bath, over her sho­ul­der, ca­ught her eye and she re­ali­zed sud­denly that from the mo­ment she had co­me in­to the bath­ro­om she had be­en trying to avo­id lo­oking at it. Why? She put her to­othb­rush down, tur­ned ro­und and exa­mi­ned it. She didn't li­ke it. Her first imp­res­si­on had be­en right. It was so big and ugly with its dull ena­mel and drib­bling sta­in over the plug-ho­le. And it se­emed - it was a stu­pid tho­ught but now it was the­re she co­uldn't ma­ke it go away - it se­emed to be wa­iting for her. She half-smi­led at her own fo­olish­ness. And then she no­ti­ced so­met­hing el­se.

    There was a small pud­dle of wa­ter in the bot­tom of the bath. As she mo­ved her he­ad, it ca­ught the light and she saw it cle­arly. Isa­bel's first tho­ught was to lo­ok up at the ce­iling. The­re had to be a le­ak, so­mew­he­re ups­ta­irs, in the at­tic. How el­se co­uld wa­ter ha­ve got in­to a bath who­se taps we­re lying on the­ir si­de next to the sink? But the­re was no le­ak. Isa­bel le­ant for­ward and ran her third fin­ger along the bot­tom of the bath. The wa­ter was warm.

    'I must ha­ve splas­hed it in the­re myself,' she tho­ught. 'As I was was­hing my fa­ce…'

    She flic­ked the light off and left the ro­om, cros­sing the lan­ding to her bed­ro­om on the ot­her si­de of her pa­rents'. So­mew­he­re in her mind she knew that it wasn't true, that she co­uld ne­ver ha­ve splas­hed wa­ter from the sink in­to the bath. But it wasn't an im­por­tant qu­es­ti­on. In fact it was ri­di­cu­lo­us. She cur­led up in bed and clo­sed her eyes.

    But an ho­ur la­ter her thumb was still rub­bing circ­les aga­inst her third fin­ger and it was a long ti­me be­fo­re she slept.

    'Bath night!' her fat­her sa­id when she got ho­me from scho­ol the next day. He was in a go­od mo­od, smi­ling bro­adly as he shuf­fled to­get­her the ing­re­di­ents for that night's din­ner.

    'Where's Mum?' Isa­bel as­ked.

    'Shopping.' She had of­fen­ded him. Isa­bel saw that in his one-word ans­wer and the way he tur­ned away from her, sli­ding so­me sli­ced oni­ons in­to a pan of hot oil. He wan­ted her to sha­re his ent­hu­si­asm, to talk abo­ut the bath. The oni­ons siz­zled ang­rily.

    'So you got it plum­bed in then.'

    'Yes.' He tur­ned back aga­in. 'It cost fifty po­unds -don't tell yo­ur mot­her. The plum­ber was he­re for two ho­urs.' He smi­led and blin­ked se­ve­ral ti­mes and Isa­bel was re­min­ded of so­met­hing she had on­ce be­en told by the brot­her of a fri­end who went to High­ga­te. Her fat­her was a very thin man with pre­ma­tu­rely grey ha­ir and a fa­ce that al­ways se­emed to be tur­ned down. At scho­ol, his nick­na­me was Grumpy. Why did boys ha­ve to be so cru­el?

    She re­ac­hed out and squ­e­ezed his arm. 'That's gre­at, Dad,' she sa­id. 'I'll ha­ve a bath af­ter din­ner. What are you ma­king?'

    'Lasagne. Yo­ur mum's go­ne out to get so­me wi­ne.'

    It was a mo­re ple­asant eve­ning. Isa­bel had got a part in her scho­ol play - Lady Mon­ta­gue in Ro­meo and Juli­et. Su­san had fo­und a ten-po­und no­te in the poc­ket of a jac­ket she hadn't worn for ye­ars. Jeremy had be­en as­ked to ta­ke a party of boys to Pa­ris at the end of term. Go­od news oiled the mac­hi­nery of the fa­mily and for on­ce everyt­hing tur­ned smo­othly. Af­ter din­ner, Isa­bel did half an ho­ur's ho­me­work, kis­sed her pa­rents go­od­night and went ups­ta­irs. To the bath­ro­om.

    The bath was re­ady now. Ins­tal­led. Per­ma­nent. The taps with the black H and C prot­ru­ded over the rim with the cur­ve of a vul­tu­re's neck. A sil­ver plug on a he­avy cha­in slan­ted in­to the plug-ho­le. Her fat­her had po­lis­hed the bras­swork, gi­ving it a new gle­am. He had put the to­wels back on the ra­il and a gre­en bath-mat on the flo­or. Everyt­hing back to nor­mal. And yet the ro­om, the to­wels, the bath-mat se­emed to ha­ve shrunk. The bath was too big. And it was wa­iting for her. She still co­uldn't get the tho­ught out of her mind.

    'Isabel. Stop be­ing silly…!'

    What's the first sign of mad­ness? Tal­king to yo­ur­self. And the se­cond sign? Ans­we­ring back. Isa­bel let out a gre­at sigh of bre­ath and went over to the bath. She le­ant in and pus­hed the plug in­to the ho­le. Downs­ta­irs, she co­uld he­ar the te­le­vi­si­on: World in Ac­ti­on, one of her fat­her's fa­vo­uri­te prog­ram­mes. She re­ac­hed out and tur­ned on the hot tap, the me­tal squ­e­aking slightly un­der her hand. Wit­ho­ut pa­using, she ga­ve the cold tap a qu­ar­ter turn. Now let's see if that plum­ber was worth his fifty qu­id.

    For a mo­ment, not­hing hap­pe­ned. Then, de­ep down un­der­ne­ath the flo­or, so­met­hing rumb­led. The­re was a rat­tling in the pi­pe that grew lo­uder and lo­uder as it ro­se up but the­re was still no wa­ter. Then the tap co­ug­hed, the co­ugh of an old man, of a he­avy smo­ker. A bub­ble ap­pe­ared, to be bro­ken a mo­ment la­ter by a spurt of li­qu­id. Isa­bel lo­oked down in dis­may.

    Whatever had be­en spat in­to the bath was not wa­ter. It was an ugly red, the co­lo­ur of rust. The taps splut­te­red aga­in and co­ug­hed out mo­re of the thick, tre­acly stuff. It bo­un­ced off the bot­tom of the bath and splat­te­red aga­inst the si­des. Isa­bel was be­gin­ning to fe­el sick and be­fo­re the taps co­uld de­li­ver a third lo­ad of - wha­te­ver it was - in­to the bath, she se­ized hold of them and loc­ked them both shut. She co­uld fe­el the pi­pes rat­tling be­ne­ath her hands but then it was do­ne. The shud­de­ring stop­ped. The rest of the li­qu­id was swal­lo­wed back in­to the net­work of pi­pes.

    But still it wasn't over. The bot­tom of the bath was co­ated with the li­qu­id that now slid un­wil­lingly to­wards the plug-ho­le which swal­lo­wed it gre­edily. Isa­bel lo­oked mo­re clo­sely. Was she go­ing mad or was the­re so­met­hing in­si­de the plug-ho­le? Isa­bel was su­re she had put the plug in but now it was half-in and half-out of the ho­le and she co­uld see be­low.

    There was so­met­hing. It was li­ke a whi­te ball, tur­ning slowly, col­lap­sing in on it­self, glis­te­ning wet and ali­ve. And it was ri­sing, ma­king for the sur­fa­ce…

    Isabel cri­ed out. At the sa­me ti­me she le­ant over and jam­med the plug back in­to the ho­le. Her hand to­uc­hed the red li­qu­id and she re­co­iled, fe­eling it, warm and clin­ging, aga­inst her skin.

    And that was eno­ugh. She re­eled back, yan­ked a to­wel off the ra­il and rub­bed it aga­inst her hand so hard that it hurt. Then she threw open the bath­ro­om do­or and ran downs­ta­irs.

    Her pa­rents we­re still watc­hing te­le­vi­si­on.

    'What's the mat­ter with you?' Jeremy as­ked. Isa­bel had exp­la­ined what had hap­pe­ned, the words tumb­ling over each ot­her in the­ir hurry to get out, but it was as if her fat­her hadn't lis­te­ned. 'The­re's al­ways a bit of rust with a new bath,' he went on. 'It's in the pi­pes. Run the wa­ter for a few mi­nu­tes and it'll go.'

    'It wasn't rust,' Isa­bel sa­id.

    'Maybe the bo­iler's pla­ying up aga­in,' Su­san mut­te­red.

    'It's not the bo­iler.' Jeremy frow­ned. He had bo­ught it se­cond-hand and it had al­ways be­en a so­re po­int - par­ti­cu­larly when it bro­ke down.

    'It was hor­rib­le,' Isa­bel in­sis­ted. 'It was li­ke…' What had it be­en li­ke? Of co­ur­se, she had known all along. 'Well, it was li­ke blo­od. It was just li­ke blo­od. And the­re was so­met­hing el­se. In­si­de the plug.'

    'Oh for he­aven's sa­ke!' Jeremy was ir­ri­ta­ted now, mis­sing his prog­ram­me.

    'Come on! I'll co­me up with you…' Su­san pus­hed a pi­le of Sun­day news­pa­pers off the so­fa - she was still re­ading them even tho­ugh this was Mon­day eve­ning - and got to her fe­et.

    'Where's the TV cont­rol?' Jeremy fo­und it in the cor­ner of his armc­ha­ir and tur­ned the vo­lu­me up.

    Isabel and her mot­her went ups­ta­irs, back in­to the bath­ro­om. Isa­bel lo­oked at the to­wel lying crump­led whe­re she had left it. A whi­te to­wel. She had wi­ped her hands on it. She was surp­ri­sed to see the­re was no tra­ce of a sta­in.

    'What a lot of fuss over a te­as­po­on of rust!' Su­san was le­aning over the bath. Isa­bel step­ped for­ward and pe­ered in ner­vo­usly. But it was true. The­re was a shal­low pud­dle of wa­ter in the mid­dle and a few gra­ins of red­dish rust. 'You know the­re's al­ways a lit­tle rust in the system,' her mot­her went on. 'It's that stu­pid bo­iler of yo­ur fat­her's.' She pul­led out the plug. 'Not­hing in the­re eit­her!' Fi­nal­ly, she tur­ned on the tap. Cle­an, or­di­nary wa­ter gus­hed out in a re­as­su­ring tor­rent. No rat­tling. No gurg­les. Not­hing. 'The­re you are. It's sor­ted it­self out.'

    Isabel hung back, le­aning mi­se­rably aga­inst the sink. Her mot­her sig­hed. 'You we­re ma­king it all up, we­ren't you?' she sa­id - but her vo­ice was af­fec­ti­ona­te, not angry.

    'No, Mum.'

    'It se­ems a long way to go to get out of ha­ving a bath.'

    'I wasn't…!'

    'Never mind now. Cle­an yo­ur te­eth and go to bed.' Su­san kis­sed her. 'Go­od-night, de­ar. Sle­ep well.'

    But that night Isa­bel didn't sle­ep at all.

    

    She didn't ha­ve a bath the fol­lo­wing night eit­her. Jeremy Har­ding was out - the­re was a staff me­eting at the scho­ol - and Su­san was trying out a new re­ci­pe for a din­ner party the fol­lo­wing we­ek-end. She spent the who­le eve­ning in the kitc­hen.

    Nor did Isa­bel ha­ve a bath on Wed­nes­day. That was three days in a row and she was be­gin­ning to fe­el mo­re than un­com­for­tab­le. She li­ked to be cle­an. That was her na­tu­re and as much as she tri­ed flan­nel­ling her­self using the sink, it wasn't the sa­me. And it didn't help that her fat­her had used the bath on Tu­es­day mor­ning and her mot­her on Tu­es­day and Wed­nes­day and ne­it­her of them had no­ti­ced anyt­hing wrong. It just ma­de her fe­el mo­re gu­ilty - and dir­ti­er.

    Then on Thurs­day mor­ning so­me­one ma­de a joke at scho­ol - so­met­hing abo­ut rot­ten eggs - and as her che­eks bur­ned, Isa­bel de­ci­ded eno­ugh was eno­ugh. What was she so af­ra­id of any­way? A sprink­ling of rust which her ima­gi­na­ti­on had tur­ned in­to… so­met­hing el­se. Su­san Har­ding was out that eve­ning - she was le­ar­ning Ita­li­an at night scho­ol - so Isa­bel and her fat­her sat down to­get­her for the­ir eve­ning me­al.

    At ni­ne o'clock they went the­ir se­pa­ra­te ways - he to the news, she ups­ta­irs.

    'Goodnight, Dad.'

    'Goodnight, Is.'

    It had be­en a ni­ce, com­pa­ni­onab­le eve­ning.

    And the­re was the bath, wa­iting for her. Yes. It was wa­iting, as if to re­ce­ive her. But this ti­me Isa­bel didn't he­si­ta­te. If she was as brisk and bu­si­ness-li­ke as pos­sib­le, she had de­ci­ded, then not­hing wo­uld hap­pen. She simply wo­uldn't gi­ve her ima­gi­na­ti­on ti­me to play tricks on her. So wit­ho­ut even thin­king abo­ut it, she slip­ped the plug in­to the ho­le, tur­ned on the taps and ad­ded a squ­irt of avo­ca­do bub­ble bath for go­od me­asu­re. She und­res­sed (her clot­hes we­re a use­ful mask, stop­ping her se­e­ing the wa­ter as it fil­led) and only when she was qu­ite na­ked did she turn ro­und and lo­ok at the bath. It was fi­ne. She co­uld just see the wa­ter, a pa­le avo­ca­do gre­en be­ne­ath a thick la­yer -of fo­am. She stretc­hed out her hand and felt the tem­pe­ra­tu­re. It was per­fect: hot eno­ugh to ste­am up the mir­ror but not so hot as to scald. She tur­ned off the taps. They drip­ped lo­udly as she re­mem­be­red and went over to lock the do­or.

    Yet still she he­si­ta­ted. She was sud­denly awa­re of her na­ked­ness. It was as if she we­re in a ro­om full of pe­op­le. She shi­ve­red. 'You're be­ing ri­di­cu­lo­us,' she told her­self. But still the qu­es­ti­on hung in the air with the ste­am from the wa­ter. It was li­ke a nasty, un­fun­ny rid­dle.

    When are you at yo­ur most de­fen­ce­less?

    When you're na­ked, enc­lo­sed, lying on yo­ur back…

    … in the bath.

    'Ridiculous.' This ti­me she ac­tu­al­ly sa­id the word. And in one swift mo­ve­ment, a no-go-back de­ci­si­on, she got in.

    The bath had tric­ked her - but she re­ali­zed too la­te.

    The wa­ter was not hot. It wasn't even warm. She had tes­ted the tem­pe­ra­tu­re mo­ments be­fo­re. She had se­en the ste­am ri­sing. But the wa­ter was col­der than anyt­hing Isa­bel had ever felt. It was li­ke bre­aking thro­ugh the ice on a pond on a mid­win­ter's day. As she sank help­les­sly in­to the bath, felt the wa­ter sli­de over her legs and sto­mach, clo­se in on her thro­at li­ke a clamp, her bre­ath was punc­hed back and her he­art se­emed to stop in mid-be­at. The cold hurt her. It cut in­to her. Isa­bel ope­ned her mo­uth and scre­amed as lo­udly as she co­uld. The so­und was not­hing mo­re than a cho­ked off whim­per.

    Isabel was be­ing pul­led un­der the wa­ter. Her neck hit the rim of the bath and slid down, her long ha­ir flo­ating away from her. The fo­am slid over her mo­uth, then over her no­se. She tri­ed to mo­ve but her arms and legs wo­uldn't obey the sig­nals she sent them. Her bo­nes had fro­zen. The ro­om se­emed to be get­ting dark.

    But then, with one fi­nal ef­fort, Isa­bel twis­ted ro­und and threw her­self up, over the ed­ge. Wa­ter exp­lo­ded everyw­he­re, splas­hing down on to the flo­or. Then so­me­how she was lying down with fo­am all aro­und her, sob­bing and shi­ve­ring, her skin comp­le­tely whi­te. She re­ac­hed out and ca­ught the cor­ner of a to­wel, pul­led it over her. Wa­ter trick­led off her back and di­sap­pe­ared thro­ugh the cracks in the flo­or­bo­ards.

    Isabel lay li­ke that for a long ti­me. She had be­en sca­red… sca­red al­most to de­ath. But it wasn't just the chan­ge in the wa­ter that had do­ne it. It wasn't just the bath it­self- as ugly and me­na­cing as it was. No. It was the so­und she had he­ard as she he­aved her­self out and jack-kni­fed on to the flo­or. She had he­ard it inc­hes away from her ear, in the bath­ro­om, even tho­ugh she was alo­ne.

    Somebody had la­ug­hed.

    

* * * *

    

    'You don't be­li­eve me, do you?'

    Isabel was stan­ding at the bus-stop with Be­lin­da Pri­ce; fat, re­li­ab­le Be­lin­da, al­ways the­re when you ne­eded her, her best fri­end. A we­ek had pas­sed and all the ti­me it had bu­ilt up in­si­de her, what had hap­pe­ned in the bath­ro­om, the story of the bath. But still Isa­bel had kept it to her­self. Why? Be­ca­use she was af­ra­id of be­ing la­ug­hed at? Be­ca­use she was af­ra­id no one wo­uld be­li­eve her? Be­ca­use, simply, she was af­ra­id. In that we­ek she had do­ne no work… at scho­ol or at ho­me. She had be­en told off twi­ce in class. Her clot­hes and her ha­ir we­re in a sta­te. Her eyes we­re dark with lack of sle­ep. But in the end she co­uldn't hold it back any mo­re. She had told Be­lin­da.

    And now the ot­her girl shrug­ged. 'I've he­ard of ha­un­ted ho­uses,' she mut­te­red. 'And ha­un­ted cast­les. I've eyen he­ard of a ha­un­ted car. But a ha­un­ted bath…?'

    'It hap­pe­ned, just li­ke I sa­id.'

    'Maybe you think it hap­pe­ned. If you think so­met­hing hard eno­ugh it can of­ten

    'It wasn't my ima­gi­na­ti­on,' Isa­bel in­ter­rup­ted.

    Then the bus ca­me and the two girls got on, sho­wing the­ir pas­ses to the dri­ver. They to­ok the­ir se­ats on the top deck, ne­ar the back. They al­ways sat in the sa­me pla­ce wit­ho­ut qu­ite kno­wing why.

    'You can't ke­ep co­ming ro­und to my pla­ce,' Be­lin­da sa­id. 'I'm sorry, Bel­la, but my mum's be­gin­ning to ask what's go­ing on.'

    'I know.' Isa­bel sig­hed. She had ma­na­ged to go ro­und to Be­lin­da's ho­use three nights run­ning and had sho­we­red the­re, gra­te­ful for the hot, rus­hing wa­ter. She had told her pa­rents that she and Be­lin­da we­re wor­king on a pro­j­ect. But Be­lin­da was right. It co­uldn't go on fo­re­ver.

    The bus re­ac­hed the traf­fic lights and tur­ned on to the ma­in ro­ad. Be­lin­da scre­wed up her fa­ce, de­ep in tho­ught. All the te­ac­hers sa­id how cle­ver she was, not just be­ca­use she wor­ked hard but be­ca­use she let you see it. 'You say the bath is an old one,' she sa­id at last.

    'Yes?'

    'Do you know whe­re yo­ur pa­rents got it?'

    Isabel tho­ught back. 'Yes. It ca­me from a pla­ce in Ful­ham. I've be­en the­re with them be­fo­re.'

    'Then why don't you go the­re and ask them abo­ut it? I me­an, if it is ha­un­ted the­re must be a re­ason. The­re's al­ways a re­ason, isn't the­re?'

    'You me­an… so­me­one might ha­ve di­ed in it or so­met­hing?' The tho­ught ma­de Isa­bel shi­ver.

    'Yes. My gran had a he­art at­tack in the bath. It didn't kill her tho­ugh…'

    'You're right!' The bus was clim­bing up the hill now. Mus­well Hill Bro­ad­way was stra­ight ahe­ad. Isa­bel gat­he­red her things. 'I co­uld go the­re on Sa­tur­day. Will you co­me too?'

    'My mum and dad wo­uldn't let me.'

    'You can tell them you're at my pla­ce. And I'll tell my pa­rents I'm at yo­urs.'

    'What if they check?'

    'They ne­ver do.' The tho­ught ma­de Isa­bel sad. Her pa­rents ne­ver did won­der whe­re she was, ne­ver se­emed to worry abo­ut her. They we­re too wrap­ped up in them­sel­ves.

    'Well… I don't know

    'Please, Be­lin­da. On Sa­tur­day. I'll gi­ve you a call.'

    

    That night the bath pla­yed its worst trick yet.

    Isabel hadn't wan­ted to ha­ve a bath. Du­ring din­ner she'd ma­de a po­int of tel­ling her pa­rents how ti­red she was, how she was lo­oking for­ward to an early night. But her pa­rents we­re ti­red too. They'd ar­gu­ed ear­li­er in the eve­ning… they we­re go­ing to the ci­ne­ma the fol­lo­wing we­ek-end and co­uldn't de­ci­de on the film. The at­mosp­he­re aro­und the tab­le had be­en dis­tinctly jag­ged and Isa­bel fo­und her­self won­de­ring just how much lon­ger the fa­mily co­uld stay to­get­her. Di­vor­ce. It was a hor­rib­le word, li­ke an il­lness. So­me of her fri­ends had be­en off scho­ol for a we­ek and then co­me back pa­le and mi­se­rab­le and had ne­ver be­en qu­ite the sa­me aga­in. They'd ca­ught it… di­vor­ce.

    'Upstairs, yo­ung lady!' Her mot­her's vo­ice bro­ke in­to her tho­ughts. 'I think you'd bet­ter ha­ve a bath…'

    'Not to­night, Mum.'

    'Tonight. You've hardly used that bath sin­ce it was ins­tal­led. What's the mat­ter with you? Don't you li­ke it?'

    'No. I don't…'

    That ma­de her fat­her twitch with an­no­yan­ce. 'What's wrong with it?' he as­ked, sul­king.

    But be­fo­re she co­uld ans­wer, her mot­her chip­ped in.

    'It do­esn't mat­ter what's wrong with it. It's the only bath we've got so you're just go­ing to ha­ve to get used to it.'

    'I won't.'

    Her pa­rents lo­oked at each ot­her, mo­men­ta­rily help­less. Isa­bel re­ali­zed that she had ne­ver de­fi­ed them be­fo­re - not li­ke this. They we­re thrown. But then her mot­her sto­od up. 'Co­me on, Isa­bel,' she sa­id. 'I've had eno­ugh of this stu­pi­dity. I'll co­me with you.'

    And so the two of them went ups­ta­irs, Su­san with that pinc­hed, set lo­ok that me­ant she co­uldn't be ar­gu­ed with. But Isa­bel didn't ar­gue with her. If her mot­her ran the bath, she wo­uld see for her­self what was hap­pe­ning. She wo­uld see that so­met­hing was wrong…

    'Right…' Su­san pus­hed the plug in and tur­ned on the taps. Or­di­nary, hot, cle­ar wa­ter gus­hed out. 'I re­al­ly don't un­ders­tand you, Isa­bel,' she exc­la­imed over the ro­ar of the wa­ter. 'May­be you've be­en sta­ying up too la­te. I tho­ught it was only six-ye­ar-olds who didn't li­ke ha­ving baths. The­re!' The bath was full. Su­san tes­ted the wa­ter, swir­ling it ro­und with the tips of her fin­gers. 'Not too hot. Now let's see you get in.'

    'Mum

    'You're not shy in front of me, are you? For he­avens sa­ke…!'

    Angry and hu­mi­li­ated, Isa­bel und­res­sed in front of her mot­her, let­ting the clot­hes fall in a he­ap on the flo­or. Su­san sco­oped them up aga­in but sa­id not­hing. Isa­bel ho­oked one leg over the ed­ge of the bath and let her to­es co­me in­to con­tact with the wa­ter. It was hot - but not scal­ding. Cer­ta­inly not icy cold.

    'Is it all right?' her mot­her as­ked.

    'Yes, Mum

    Isabel got in­to the bath. The wa­ter ro­se hung­rily to gre­et her. She co­uld fe­el it clo­se in a per­fect circ­le aro­und her neck. Her mot­her sto­od the­re a mo­ment lon­ger, hol­ding her clot­hes. 'Can I le­ave you now?' she as­ked.

    'Yes.' Isa­bel didn't want to be alo­ne in the bath but she felt un­com­for­tab­le lying the­re with her mot­her ho­ve­ring over her.

    'Good.' Su­san sof­te­ned for a mo­ment. 'I'll co­me and kiss you go­od­night.' She held the clot­hes up and wrink­led her no­se. 'The­se had bet­ter go in the wash too.'

    Susan went.

    Isabel lay the­re on her own in the hot wa­ter, trying to re­lax. But the­re was a knot in her sto­mach and her who­le body was ri­gid, shying away from the cast-iron to­uch of the bath. She he­ard her mot­her go­ing back down the sta­irs. The do­or of the uti­lity ro­om ope­ned. Isa­bel tur­ned her he­ad slightly and for the first ti­me ca­ught sight of her­self in the mir­ror. And this ti­me she did scre­am.

    And scre­am.

    In the bath, everyt­hing was or­di­nary, just as her mot­her had left her. Cle­ar wa­ter. Her flesh a lit­tle pink in the he­at. Ste­am. But in the mir­ror, in the ref­lec­ti­on…

    The bath­ro­om was a sla­ugh­ter­ho­use. The li­qu­id in the bath was crim­son and Isa­bel was up to her neck in it. As her hand - her ref­lec­ted hand - re­co­iled out of the wa­ter, the red li­qu­id clung to it, drip­ping down he­avily, splat­te­ring aga­inst the si­de of the bath and clin­ging the­re too. Isa­bel tri­ed to le­ver her­self out of the bath but slip­ped and fell, the wa­ter ri­sing over her chin. It to­uc­hed her lips and she scre­amed aga­in, cer­ta­in she wo­uld be suc­ked in­to it and die. She to­re her eyes away from the mir­ror. Now it was just wa­ter. In the mir­ror…

    Blood.

    She was co­ve­red in it, swim­ming in it. And the­re was so­me­body el­se in the ro­om. Not in the ro­om. In the ref­lec­ti­on of the ro­om. A man, tall, in his for­ti­es, dres­sed in so­me sort of su­it, grey fa­ce, mo­us­tac­he, small, be­ady eyes.

    'Go away!' Isa­bel yel­led. 'Go away! Go away!'

    When her mot­her fo­und her, cur­led up on the flo­or in a hu­ge pud­dle of wa­ter, na­ked and tremb­ling, she didn't try to exp­la­in. She didn't even spe­ak. She al­lo­wed her­self to be half-car­ri­ed in­to bed and hid her­self, li­ke a small child, un­der the du­vet.

    For the first ti­me, Su­san Har­ding was mo­re wor­ri­ed than an­no­yed. That night, she sat down with Jeremy and the two of them we­re clo­ser than they had be­en for a long ti­me as they tal­ked abo­ut the­ir da­ugh­ter, her be­ha­vi­o­ur, the ne­ed per­haps for so­me sort of the­rapy. But they didn't talk abo­ut the bath - and why sho­uld they? When Su­san had burst in­to the bath­ro­om she had se­en not­hing wrong with the wa­ter, not­hing wrong with the mir­ror, not­hing wrong with the bath. No, they both ag­re­ed. The­re was so­met­hing wrong with Isa­bel. It had not­hing to do with the bath.

    

    The an­ti­que shop sto­od at the cor­ner of Swif­fe La­ne and the Ful­ham Ro­ad, a few mi­nu­tes' walk from the tu­be sta­ti­on. It was so­me­how exactly as Isa­bel had ima­gi­ned it. From the front it lo­oked li­ke the grand ho­use that might ha­ve be­lon­ged to a rich fa­mily per­haps a hund­red ye­ars ago: tall im­po­sing do­ors, shut­te­red win­dows, whi­te sto­ne co­lumns and gre­at chunks of sta­tu­ary scat­te­red bet­we­en it and the stre­et. But over the ye­ars the ho­use had dec­li­ned, the plas­ter-work fal­ling away, we­eds spro­uting bet­we­en the brick­work. The win­dows we­re dark with the dust of city li­fe and car ex­ha­ust fu­mes.

    Inside, the ro­oms we­re small and dark - each one fil­led with too much fur­ni­tu­re. Isa­bel and Be­lin­da pas­sed thro­ugh a ro­om with fo­ur­te­en fi­rep­la­ces, anot­her with half a do­zen din­ner tab­les and a crowd of empty cha­irs. If they hadn't known all the­se obj­ects we­re for sa­le they co­uld ha­ve ima­gi­ned that the pla­ce was still oc­cu­pi­ed by a rich mad­man. It was still mo­re of a ho­use than a shop. When the two girls spo­ke to each ot­her, they did so in whis­pers.

    They even­tu­al­ly fo­und a sa­les as­sis­tant in a co­urt­yard at the back of the ho­use. This was a lar­ge, open area, fil­led with baths and ba­sins', mo­re sta­tu­es, sto­ne fo­un­ta­ins, wro­ught-iron ga­tes and trel­lis-work - all sur­ro­un­ded by a se­ri­es of conc­re­te arc­hes that ma­de them fe­el that they co­uld ha­ve be­en in Ro­me or Ve­ni­ce rat­her than a shabby cor­ner of West Lon­don. The sa­les as­sis­tant was a yo­ung man with a squ­int and a bro­ken no­se. He was car­rying a gar­goy­le. Isa­bel wasn't su­re which of the two was ug­li­er.

    'A Vic­to­ri­an bath?' he mut­te­red in res­pon­se to Isa­bel's in­qu­iry. 'I don't think I can help you. We sell a lot of old baths.'

    'It's big and whi­te,' Isa­bel sa­id. 'With lit­tle legs and gold taps…'

    The sa­les as­sis­tant set the gar­goy­le down. It clun­ked he­avily aga­inst a pa­ving sto­ne. 'Don't you ha­ve the re­ce­ipt?' he as­ked.

    'No'.

    'Well,… what did you say yo­ur pa­rents' na­me was?'

    'Harding. Jeremy and Su­san Har­ding.'

    'Doesn't ring a bell

    'They ar­gue a lot. They pro­bably ar­gu­ed abo­ut the pri­ce.'

    A slow smi­le spre­ad ac­ross the sa­les as­sis­tant's fa­ce. Be­ca­use of the way his fa­ce twis­ted, the smi­le was oddly me­na­cing. 'Ye­ah. I do re­mem­ber,' he sa­id. 'It was de­li­ve­red so­mew­he­re in North Lon­don.'

    'Muswell Hill,' Isa­bel sa­id.

    'That's right.' The smi­le cut its way over his che­ek­bo­ne. 'I do re­mem­ber. They got the Mar­lin bath.'

    'What's the Mar­lin bath?' Be­lin­da as­ked. She didn't li­ke the so­und of it al­re­ady.

    The sa­les as­sis­tant chuck­led to him­self. He pul­led out a pac­ket of ten ci­ga­ret­tes and lit one. It se­emed a long ti­me be­fo­re he spo­ke aga­in. 'Jacob Mar­lin. It was his bath. I don't sup­po­se you've ever he­ard of him.'

    'No,' Isa­bel sa­id, wis­hing he'd get to the po­int.

    'He was fa­mo­us in his ti­me.' The sa­les as­sis­tant blew sil­very grey smo­ke in­to the air. 'Be­fo­re they han­ged him.'

    'Why did they hang him?' Isa­bel as­ked.

    'For mur­der. He was one of tho­se… what do you call them… Vic­to­ri­an axe mur­de­rers. Oh yes…' The sa­les as­sis­tant was grin­ning from ear to ear now, enj­oying him­self. 'He used to ta­ke yo­ung la­di­es ho­me with him - a bit li­ke Jack the Rip­per. Know what I me­an? Mar­lin wo­uld do away with them…'

    'You me­an kill them?' Be­lin­da whis­pe­red.

    'That's exactly what I me­an. He'd kill them and then chop them up with an axe. In the bath.' The sa­les as­sis­tant suc­ked at his ci­ga­ret­te. 'I'm not sa­ying he did it in that bath, mind. But it ca­me out of his ho­use. That's why it was so che­ap. I da­re say it wo­uld ha­ve be­en che­aper still if yo­ur mum and dad had known…'

    Isabel tur­ned and wal­ked out of the an­ti­que shop. Be­lin­da fol­lo­wed her. Sud­denly the pla­ce se­emed hor­rib­le and me­na­cing, as if every obj­ect on disp­lay might ha­ve so­me dre­ad­ful story at­tac­hed. Only in the stre­et, sur­ro­un­ded by the no­ise and co­lo­ur of the traf­fic did they stop and spe­ak.

    'It's hor­rib­le!' Be­lin­da gas­ped. 'He cut pe­op­le up in the bath and you…' She co­uldn't fi­nish the sen­ten­ce. The tho­ught was too ghastly.

    'I wish I hadn't co­me.' Isa­bel was clo­se to te­ars. 'I wish they'd ne­ver bo­ught the rot­ten thing.'

    'If you tell them…'

    'They won't lis­ten to me. They ne­ver lis­ten to me.'

    'So what are you go­ing to do?' Be­lin­da as­ked.

    Isabel tho­ught for a mo­ment. Pe­op­le pus­hed past on the pa­ve­ment. Mar­ket ven­dors sho­uted out the­ir wa­res. A pa­ir of po­li­ce­men stop­ped bri­efly to exa­mi­ne so­me ap­ples. It was a dif­fe­rent world to the one she had left be­hind her in the an­ti­que shop. 'I'm go­ing to dest­roy it,' she sa­id at last. 'It's the only way. I'm go­ing to bre­ak it up. And my pa­rents can do wha­te­ver they li­ke…'

    

    She cho­se a mon­key-wrench from her fat­her's to­ol­box. It was big and she co­uld use it both to smash and to unsc­rew. Ne­it­her of her pa­rents we­re at ho­me. They tho­ught she was over at Be­lin­da's. That was go­od. By the ti­me they got back it wo­uld all be over.

    There was so­met­hing very com­for­ting abo­ut the to­ol she had cho­sen, the cold­ness of the ste­el aga­inst her palm, the way it we­ig­hed so he­avily in her hand, al­most wil­ling her to swing it. Slowly she clim­bed the sta­irs, al­re­ady ima­gi­ning what she had to do. Wo­uld the mon­key-wrench be strong eno­ugh to crack the bath? Or wo­uld she only dis­fi­gu­re it so badly that her pa­rents wo­uld ha­ve to get rid of it? It didn't mat­ter eit­her way. She was do­ing the right thing. That was all she ca­red.

    The bath­ro­om do­or was open. She was su­re it had be­en shut when she had glan­ced ups­ta­irs only mi­nu­tes be­fo­re. But that didn't mat­ter eit­her. Swin­ging the mon­key-wrench, she went in­to the bath­ro­om.

    The bath was wa­iting for her.

    It had fil­led it­self to the very brim with hot wa­ter - scal­ding hot from the amo­unt of ste­am it was gi­ving off. The mir­ror had comp­le­tely ste­amed over. A co­ol bre­eze from the do­or to­uc­hed the sur­fa­ce of the glass and wa­ter trick­led down. Isa­bel lif­ted the mon­key-wrench. She was smi­ling a lit­tle cru­el­ly. The one thing the bath co­uldn't do was mo­ve. It co­uld ta­unt her and frigh­ten her but now it just had to sit the­re and ta­ke what was co­ming to it.

    She re­ac­hed out with the mon­key-wrench and jer­ked out the plug.

    But the wa­ter didn't le­ave the bath. Ins­te­ad so­met­hing thick and red oozed out of the plug-ho­le and flo­ated up thro­ugh the wa­ter.

    And with the blo­od ca­me mag­gots - hund­reds of them, un­co­iling them­sel­ves from the plug-ho­le, for­cing them­sel­ves up thro­ugh the gril­le and cartw­he­eling cra­zily in the wa­ter. Isa­bel sta­red in hor­ror, then ra­ised the mon­key-wrench. The wa­ter, with the blo­od ad­ded to it, was she­eting over the si­de now, cas­ca­ding on to the flo­or. She swung and felt her who­le body sha­ke as the me­tal clan­ged in­to the taps, smas­hing the C of cold and jol­ting the pi­pe-work.

    She lif­ted the mon­key-wrench and as she did so she ca­ught sight of it in the mir­ror. The ref­lec­ti­on was blur­red by the whi­te co­ating of ste­am but be­hind it she co­uld ma­ke out anot­her sha­pe which she knew she wo­uld not see in the bath­ro­om. A man was wal­king to­wards her as if down a long cor­ri­dor, ma­king for the glass that co­ve­red its end. Jacob Mar­lin. She felt his eyes bur­ning in­to her and won­de­red what he wo­uld do when he re­ac­hed the mir­ror that se­emed to be a bar­ri­er bet­we­en his world and hers.

    She swung with the mon­key-wrench - aga­in and aga­in. The tap bent, then bro­ke off with the se­cond im­pact. Wa­ter spur­ted out as if in a de­ath-throe. Now she tur­ned her at­ten­ti­on on the bath it­self, brin­ging the mon­key-wrench cras­hing in­to the si­de, crac­king the ena­mel with one swing, den­ting the me­tal with the next. Anot­her glan­ce over her sho­ul­der told her that Mar­lin was get­ting clo­ser, pus­hing his way to­wards the ste­am. She co­uld see his te­eth, dis­co­lo­ured and sharp, his gums ex­po­sed as his lips we­re drawn back in a ric­tus of ha­te. She swung aga­in and saw - to her dis­be­li­ef - that she had ac­tu­al­ly crac­ked the si­de of the bath li­ke an egg-shell. Red wa­ter gus­hed over her legs and fe­et. Mag­gots we­re sent spin­ning in a crazy dan­ce ac­ross the bath­ro­om flo­or, sli­ding in­to the cracks and wrig­gling the­re, help­less. How clo­se was Mar­lin? Co­uld he pass thro­ugh the mir­ror? She lif­ted the mon­key-wrench one last ti­me and scre­amed as a pa­ir of man's hands fell on her sho­ul­ders. The mon­key-wrench spun out of her hands and fell in­to the bath, di­sap­pe­aring in the murky wa­ter. The hands we­re at her thro­at now, pul­ling her back­wards. Isa­bel scre­amed and las­hed out, her na­ils go­ing for the man's eyes.

    She only just had ti­me to re­ali­ze that it was not Mar­lin who was hol­ding her but her fat­her. That her mot­her was stan­ding at the do­or, sta­ring with wi­de, hor­ror-fil­led eyes. Isa­bel felt all the strength rush out of her body li­ke the wa­ter out of the bath. The wa­ter was trans­pa­rent aga­in, of co­ur­se. The mag­gots had go­ne. Had they ever be­en the­re? Did it mat­ter? She be­gan to la­ugh.

    She was still la­ug­hing half an ho­ur la­ter when the so­und of si­rens fil­led the ro­om and the am­bu­lan­ce ar­ri­ved.

    

    It wasn't fa­ir.

    Jeremy Har­ding lay in the bath thin­king abo­ut the events of the past six we­eks. It was hard not to think abo­ut them - in he­re, lo­oking at the dents his da­ugh­ter had ma­de with the mon­key-wrench. The taps had al­most be­en be­yond re­pa­ir. As it was they now drip­ped all the ti­me and the let­ter C was go­ne fo­re­ver. Old wa­ter, not cold wa­ter.

    He had se­en Isa­bel a few days be­fo­re and she had lo­oked a lot bet­ter. She still wasn't tal­king but it wo­uld be a long ti­me be­fo­re that hap­pe­ned, they sa­id. No­body knew why she had de­ci­ded to at­tack the bath - ex­cept may­be that fat fri­end of hers and she was too frigh­te­ned to say. Ac­cor­ding to the ex­perts, it had all be­en stress-re­la­ted. A tra­uma­tic stress di­sor­der. Of co­ur­se they had fancy words for it. What they me­ant was that it was her pa­rents' fa­ult. They ar­gu­ed. The­re was ten­si­on in the ho­use. Isa­bel hadn't be­en ab­le to co­pe and had co­me up with so­me sort of fan­tasy re­la­ted to the bath.

    In ot­her words, it was his fa­ult.

    But was it? As he lay in the soft, hot wa­ter with the smell of pi­ne bath-oil ri­sing up his nost­rils, Jeremy Har­ding tho­ught long and hard. He wasn't the one who star­ted the ar­gu­ments. It was al­ways Su­san. From the day he'd mar­ri­ed her, she'd in­sis­ted on… well, chan­ging him. She was al­ways nag­ging him. It was li­ke that nick­na­me of his at scho­ol. Grumpy. They ne­ver to­ok him se­ri­o­usly. She ne­ver to­ok him se­ri­o­usly. Well, he wo­uld show her.

    Lying back with the ste­am all aro­und him, Jeremy fo­und him­self flo­ating away. It was a won­der­ful fe­eling. He wo­uld start with Su­san. Then the­re we­re a co­up­le of boys in his French class. And of co­ur­se, the he­ad­mas­ter.

    He knew just what he wo­uld do. He had se­en it that mor­ning in a junk shop in Cro­uch End. Vic­to­ri­an, he wo­uld ha­ve sa­id. He­avy with a smo­oth wo­oden hand­le and a so­lid, ra­zor-sharp he­ad.

    Yes. He wo­uld go out and buy it the fol­lo­wing mor­ning. It was just what he ne­eded. A go­od Vic­to­ri­an axe…

    

THE END