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second one, Kellner realized with a deep pang of regret. I did love her, as much as I'm able. Not so much for the sexual part, but for her keen mind. She could always keep up with me, sometimes get ahead, in these mental and psychological games we play in this town. I could bounce ideas off her and get an instantaneous, logical reaction. In some ways, she is responsible for many of the Agency's secretive successes. |
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That's over, except for the regret, he thought. The reports he had read about Camilla's liaison with the Russian woman, Suslova, still sickened him. Kellner closed his eyes. This is the thing that hurt the most, Camilla's betrayal. But all things shall pass, so they say. |
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For the first time in days, Kellner thought, I have almost achieved peace of mind. The incessant scramble for control of every situation and for the attention of the President is over; I have come to realize that we only deceive ourselves when we believe we can control events. Odd that this peace should come now, when the country I love, as well as many of its people, is at risk. At a moment when my careermy life, for that matteris in ashes. When a man, under my orders, is in great personal danger and is about to risk what I have never riskedalmost certain death. |
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Two things have brought me to this pass, he thought. One stems from ill-considered action by men I never knew except as names on an intelligence document, and the reactionwhich I would never have expectedfrom the man I serve in the White House. The second stems from my own hubris. |
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Today's decisions will be my last, no matter what Cole Caidin says now. He will accept my resignation, and be very glad he did so when the jackals come after us, Kellner thought, his face twisted in a grimace of pain. I am ready to take the blame; it's only fitting that I do. No matter what happens in the next few hours and minutes this December 7, I shall no longer influence the future of the United States. |
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Kellner shook off his depression and turned to practical considerations. The Russians had declared a news blackout, and |
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