STAYING WITHIN


Q:    I had spoken to you about,  quote unquote "moving       toward my
joy".


B:    Yes.


Q:    You corrected  me,  in  a  sense,  that  this  is  not  something  you
                         obviously do not have to move toward.


B:    Yes, it is something that you are, something that you be,  become-yes.
Not really moving toward,  for that puts it out there-in  the  outside.  You
are all the joy you need to  be  .  You  contain,  everyone  of  you,  as  a
complete kit, all of the ideas,  and  all  the  opportunities  and  all  the
synchronicities that will then be reflected   to  the  degree  of  joy   you
allow yourself to know you are-so joy is not  something  that  you  have  to
move toward, but we understand the context in which most of  the  humans  on
your planet mean that phrase, but sometimes those phrases can be  misleading
 and that is why we simply offer alternative phrasing.


Q:    Okay,  What  I have found   recently is that   wanting  to  make  some
structural changes from my day and my life.


 B:   Yes.


Q:    I find that I am preventing myself by becoming ill constantly.


B:    Yes, many of you will use this technique.


Q:     This  is  what  is  happening,  obviously  there  is  nothing   wrong
physically,  I'm  just  using  this  as  sabotaging   myself   from  moving,
essentially.


B:    As a scare tactic, yes. You are maintaining the inertia of you  status
quo in that you contain still, to some degree, more than not, a belief  that
the unknown will contain things too unsettling  for you to face  instead  of
you knowing-the unknown contains only more joy. That is  why  you  keep  the
idea of sabotage up, because you can't  quite  bring  yourself  to  believe,
can't quite bring yourself to believe that you will actually  discover  more
joy in discovering more of your  power  and  yourself.   With  the  idea  of
discovering that with most of you, as  most  of  you  have  been  ingrained,
comes more responsibility in the negative context  that  most  of  you  have
been taught to think of that term.  So many times you will give yourself  --
/sick leave, oops,  I can't do it I'm sick, can't handle  it  now  I  have  a/
/reason/ /not to take it on-I'm too sick, I'm too sick, can't  handle  it  ,  I/
/have an excuse, I have a reason, it's okay now, it's okay I  don't  have  to/
/do it because now everyone says oh that's all right she  is  too  sick,  she/
/can't do it, all right we understand./


Q:    That's exactly what's been happening.


B:    Yes, I know.  But it is a fun game isn't it?


Q:    No


B:    Well all right if you say so.


Q:    No.


B:    Then I suppose you will stop playing soon ?


Q:    Yea.


B:    Oh All right , it is up to you .