Bashar: Channeled By Darryl Anka From "You Are an Eternal Being" 3-12-97 Process and Change Q: I'm happy that I don't need to drink alcohol any more, nothing of this kind. B: All right. Q: And ... I still smoke. B: Yes? Q: What Bashar is it, that I can't ... me personally, what is it I am trying to hide ... I'm trying to hang on to, that I can't give up? B: It is simply a matter of rearranging your definitions about this particular circumstance. First of all, of course, don't judge it, you cannot change something that you judge, in that sense. Yes, you have to own it, yes, you have to acknowledge it, and you are honestly doing that. You recognize that it may be a preference, that this is something you would like to change, but on the other hand, if you still do it, then actually what you have to really realize is that you actually don't want to change it. Which means that you don't have a definition that would allow you to have a motivation to choose to change it. You, in some senses, don't want to change it, because somehow you have a definition that says you are still getting something out of it you can get no other way. You follow? Q: Yes. B: So, you are motivated to continue to choose to do that thing, and the motivation would have to come from your definition of circumstances in your life, and that particular idea that allows you to believe that, for some reason, it is still the thing to choose. So, the fundamental question for anything that you think you want to change but are not changing is, how does it actually serve you, in your mind? What do you think you're getting out of continuing to do it? Because obviously you do nothing without being motivated to do it, and the motivation would interpret itself as -- you obviously believe somehow that it is getting you somewhere, giving you something that you can't get in some other way. Q: Hmm. B: So, how do you think, in that sense, it is working for you to keep choosing to do that? What do you think you're getting out of continuing to choose that particular behavior? No judgment on it. Q: Yes, no judgment, and I have to concentrate on that, of course, yes. B: Oh all right, if you wish. But that's the question to ask yourself ... what am I getting out of it? Because then you will understand that you have a definition that says that continuing to choose that behavior is somehow more pleasurable and less painful than choosing the idea of stopping. You understand? Q: That's true! B: Well? Then that's it ... as soon as you can rearrange your definition and understand how not doing it is more pleasurable and less painful than doing it, you will be instantly motivated to not do it anymore. Q: On the process though, of going... B: Aha, aha, ah ... you can create a process if you want to, I will not take that away from you, and I will not judge it. Any process you decide is necessary is a beautiful creation in its own right. But I am simply reminding you that process, in and of itself ... not invalidating it, is simply the amount of time, for whatever reason that you create, that you think it needs to take before you'll actually finally allow yourself to see the obvious ... that's what process is. It's the time you think you need before you will give yourself permission to be who you are, that's all it is. So if you want to go through a process, by all means do so, but recognize that that's what you're doing ... is you're simply taking time, because, for some reason, you are not yet ready to give yourself permission to be who you really want to be. Q: Hmm. B: That's the only reason that process exists. Q: That's the only reason... B: Process isn't the thing that actually gets you to change. Process is the thing that keeps you from changing long enough, until you finally give yourself permission to change, and then you stop the process and change. Change does not require a process ... a process is something that gives you time to believe you are ready and comfortable to make a change. No process actually helps you make the change, per se, literally. You follow? Except in giving you time to believe you are ready to do so. But, mechanically speaking, process doesn't help you make a change. You follow? Q: Yes. B: All right, so think about that, if you wish. Q: Thank you very much.