*Preference and Judgment* Q: I have an incredible backache. B: A what? Q: A backache... a disc is out. B: A disc is /out/? Q: It's slightly out. B: All right. Q: Now, if this is a result of karma, how do I get rid of it? B: First of all, recognize that you do not /get rid/ of anything, you integrate. Now, allow me to ask you a question... may I? Q: Yes. B: Thank you. How, if you were to treat this as a neutral situation, neutral, can you, by using your imagination, perceive in any way, shape or form how the situation could /positively/ serve you? What comes into mind? All the different things you can think of through which this can be viewed as a positive opportunity? Q: Ahhh... to take things slowly. B: One, what else? Q: To breathe... to breathe into the place where it hurts. B: Two, what else? Q: To allow whatever is causing the pain to come out. B: By doing /what/? Q: Just being open to it. B: All right. Being vulnerable is being open to All That Is, it is not weakness, it is strength. Being open to All That Is is being connected to All That Is - that is infinite strength. Vulnerability is infinite strength. Now, may I ask you another question? Q: Go ahead. B: Oh, thank you. Thank you for allowing me to have such a good time. (AUD: laughter) In your imagination, if you felt that you were in fact right now completely and fully aligned, and allowing any and all levels of energy to move through you - any and all levels of energy - how would you feel about that? Truly, how would you feel about /feeling/ your own infinite power? Q: At best I can imagine it. B: Yes? Q: I think it would be wonderful. B: Why? Q: Because then I would be totally in touch with my own energy, with everything, with all the energy. B: All right... may I ask you another question? Q: Yes. B: Thank you very much. In your estimation, in your terms of counting time, when do you think that might occur, roughly. Q: (Pauses) B: Ten years from now, before that, yes or no? Q: (Pauses) B: Ten years of your time... before that? Q: I would hope that before... B: Ah, ah, ah, ah, hope implies despair. Now, I am asking you to sense within yourself when you will know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that you will have experienced enough time to experience that level of integration? Would ten years in your estimation be more than enough time? Six years? Q: Right now. B: Oh, you are ready right now? Are you sure? Q: Yes. B: All right! Then stand up... now, what is it, do you feel is the most exciting thing you could be doing in your life? Q: Anything. B: Anything at all. Do you have a preference? Q: (Long pause) B: Yes, no, maybe. Q: As long as there's variety. B: Oh, there will always be that. Q: Then there's no preference. B: No preference! Why not? Q: What for? B: All right. Then you're saying that at any given moment, /anything/ that you are doing is just fine with you, anything at all? Q: (Pauses) B: Including the situation with your back? Q: Aahh... B: Ah ha! (AUD: laughter) Q: Not with the back. B: Ah! Q: When it comes to the physical... B: Oh, here we go! (AUD: laughter) Every other level is fine as long as it has nothing to do with this level! Am I putting words in your mouth, or are you actually saying something else? Q: Aahh... B: Do not let me put words in your mouth. What do you mean to say? Q: That this backache hurts... and I would feel much better if the pain wasn't there. B: I see. Q: It would enable... B: Where would you rather the pain /was/? Q: Somewhere. B: Somewhere? Q: Out there. B: Out there? There is no out there. You are a complete and total universe. There is nothing outside. Q: Maybe we can transform this... B: Ah! TRANSFORM THE PAIN! That is different. Now, pain is usually created because an individual in your society - and some other societies - are not willing to receive a message from another portion of themselves, and so they create a scenario that /forces/ them to look at something, because they are not willing to allow the message to come more easily - because they will not pay attention to it when it does come more easily. In your imagination, what do you imagine that having the pain tells you? What type of message do you think that you are sending yourself, so that you would have to create something like that in order for you to pay attention? Q: (Pauses) B: Is there a message there that you are willing to allow to come to you in some easier way? Will you accept it if it comes in an easier way? Q: I would like to accept it. B: All right. What do you imagine that the message might be? Just take a wild guess. Say the first thing that comes to you, do not think about it. It does not have to make sense. Q: Get it. To "get it." B: Yes, yes, yes. Q: To be more acceptive of what's going on... to be more aware. B: What /is/ going on? What is it that you think you need to be more aware of? Q: I don't know! But if I had been more aware then this pain would not be here. B: Not so, necessarily. Perhaps the pain is there /only because/ you think you need to be more aware of something that isn't there to be aware of. How does that idea strike you? Q: I would like to sit down. B: All right, would you like to lie down? How are you doing? Q: It hurts but... is there a purpose for standing up? B: I don't know. You tell me. (AUD: laughter) I only made a suggestion. Q: Oh! B: You did not /have/ to do it. (AUD: laughter) Q: I'll sit back down. B: Oh, all right! In this way, what is it that you feel could be served by allowing yourself to create a situation wherein it stops you from doing certain things? And what are the certain things that you find that you cannot do with this situation? Q: I can't stand, I can't run, I can't be active. B: You cannot be active? Q: Well, running, physical movement. B: Running. May I ask you a question? Q: Yes, please do. B: Since you do not have a preference of any particular thing to do, where would you be running to? And why, therefore, do you need to run, when exactly being where you are, you have said, is just fine with you? Q: Aah... there are times during the day when I like to take a jog. B: Oh. Q: It helps to stretch out, it helps to move my energy around, it changes the gestalt. And I use it as a form of meditation also. B: All right. Q: And right now, because of this, I can't do it. B: What has it allowed you to do however? Q: Aah... well, I swam today. B: Ah! All right. How does that feel? Q: Not as good as running. B: Why not? Q: Because... it is not the same thing. B: Why not? Q: (Pauses) B: What is the difference between those two ideas for you? Q: Running has a certain physical motion. B: Yes. OH! Are you telling me that you actually /have/ a preference?! Q: (Softly) Yes. B: Ah! So it /does/ make a difference to you, what you do. Q: Yes... it does. B: All right. Then why not allow yourself to know that you do, in fact, have preferences. And the idea of being so very spiritual does not mean that you cannot prefer something. It does not mean that you have to be blasé about everything. Being spiritual is not necessarily just sitting around going: "Oh well, if that happens that's all right. Well, if /that/ happens/,/ that's all right too." (AUD: laughter) It is the equalizing of everything, in that knowing it /is/ all right. But you, as a being, are a different being, are a differentiated being, by definition, than anyone else. Therefore, by definition, you have your preferences. It is all right to have preferences. They are not judgments. Preferences are simply recognizing what is true for you and acting on it. A judgment is the invalidation of what you don't prefer. But you can choose to prefer something without invalidating the equality of what you don't choose. It is all right for you to have preferences. It is all right for you to be more excited about one thing that something else. You do not have to feel that that is a judgment. Excitement is simply the recognition of your preference, of the path you chose to be, at any given moment. It is all right to prefer something, instead of something else. Do you follow me? Q: Yes. B: Now, perhaps, you will now have a reason to allow yourself to move. Because you will now allow certain ideas to be attracted into your life that are reflective of the preferences you truly do have that you have buried within you. Burying those preferences has simply immobilized you, because you are not acting upon anything specific that represents the path you chose to be. You are allowing the reality around you, the physical reality, to blend to the point of non-cognition, of non-differentiation. You are immobilizing your activity. You are an active being, as a physical being. Let yourself know that you have preferences, and that you can act upon them. And acting upon them is not a judgment of what you do not act upon. It is simply the recognition of what is true for you. Now, you also can avail yourself of the assistance of individuals around you, in the giving to you and the sharing of their energy, to allow you to heal yourself, in this way. For there are many individuals who have allowed themselves to be of service in ways that they are excited about and /prefer,/ and some of that is, in your terms, the manipulation of the physical body. Do you follow me? Q: Yes. B: So, allow these individuals to assist you to assist yourself. And allow yourself to realign, so that the surge of energy that will travel up and down your spine between the polar opposites of your brain and the base of your spine will then have a reason for being there. Until you allow it to have a reason for being there, you will allow there to be a disconnection, because it has no purpose. Create a purpose for it, create a preference and know that you are excited about acting upon it, and then you will re- connect and plug yourself back into the universe. Including the physical one. All right? Q: It seems that, by doing that you create desire, back inside of your... B: What is wrong with desire? Q: Well, you become attached to it. B: Why? Q: If one is desirous and they want something... B: Desire is not coveting, do not confuse the two. Desiring something is not coveting. Desire is e-motion: energy motion. Now, you do not have to put expectation on a desire, you do not have to "rigidize" desire, you do not have to limit it. Simply recognize that desire is your conscious recognition, again, much like the idea of excitement. It is much the same energy. It is what you recognize yourself to be. Are you attempting to become ego-less? For as long as you are physical, you will always have an ego. Because an ego's job, fundamentally, is to keep you focused into the physical reality you /chose/ to be born into. That is not to say that you have to allow negative ego to control your actions, but ego itself is simply your ability to exist /as/ a physical being. It is what keeps you focused in physical reality. There is nothing negative about basic, fundamental ego, it is simply a conduit. It keeps you where you have chosen to be focused into - the general physical reality. As long as you are physical, as long as you are a personality construct, you will always have ego. Desire does not have to be expressed in a negative way. Simply do not limit it by imposing upon it a particular way in which the desire has to manifest. Do not make demands of your desire. Desire is emotion, it can be love, it can be the cognition of your own excitement and vibratory preference. That is all. In this way, you do not have to become /attached/ to things. They do not have to become /attached/ to you. You simply recognize that with your desire you are allowing yourself to become the dream that you have. You are living your dream. Desire is dreaming. It is the giving in to your ecstasy, which is your birthright, which is what you are made of. Desire does not have to be the idea of envy, of jealousy. None of that - that is judgment. Do you follow me? Q: Yes. B: Does that assist you? Q: Very much. Thank you. B: Thank you. Pleasant dreams.