Meaningful Relationships Q: As to my question, I seem, in my lifetime, to be attracted to unavailable men. I would like to know why. As a result, I'm here by myself. B: All right. Perhaps you are an unavailable woman. Q: Well, I never thought of that. B: All right. Again, the idea is always to understand this from a couple of different perspectives. One is that your situations in life are generally reflective of who it is you are at that moment. Now this does not mean anything positive or negative. It just means that you have chosen to reflect to yourself certain understandings and ideas about your path in life, your chosen path that always reflects back to you the things that are most important for you to understand in this life. In no way, shape or form are we saying that you cannot have the idea of companionship, but you must also look at the things that have been impressed upon you in your upbringing with regard to your ability, and your availability, with regard to interaction on certain levels with other members of your species. I will ask you a question. In the interactions that you have allowed, as far as you have allowed them, what kinds of issues have come up? Q: Oh, I'm not quite certain of that. I only know they are good but they are not exactly long lasting. B: All right. I have another question for you. If you were your imagination for a moment, just play, just play -- no judgment, no qualification -- just play. If you were to imagine that you do attract, as you say, an "available" individual. After you have done that, what would be your strongest fear? Let's say you have done it. Now, what is your strongest fear? Q: That it might not last, I guess. B: And why would I believe that? What has happened in your life to reflect that idea to you? Have you seen examples of that which have impressed you? Q: Yes, the relationships that I've had... have not lasted. B: Before that. Younger. Q: Younger, I didn't have too many meaningful relationships. B: How about with your parents? Q: I feel that was good. B: In what sense? Q: In that I knew I definitely was loved. B: What was your first relationship where you extended yourself to someone else and found a lack of availability in response? What is the first time you remember that happening? Q: Well, it was while I was married. B: Yes. Q: I fell in love with someone else that I thought had fallen in love with me. B: Someone other than the person you were married to? Q: Yes. B: All right. And? Q: The agreement was that we would first divorce our spouses and then be together. B: And how did you feel about that? Q: I thought it was the most wonderful thing that ever happened to me. B: And what happened? Q: I got my divorce and he didn't. B: Oh. Where did that leave you? Hanging? Q: Hanging, yes. B: All right. Why would it be surprising that you would not want to make yourself available for that fear again? You are afraid because you see it as a risk. You have, in that sense, been stung in your estimation and you do not want to go through that pain again. Q: Then why do I keep involving myself with... B: Because there is always the desire for love. That is more overriding but, in a sense, you have created a mental pattern within yourself that is sabotaging your expression of love. Because there is always the loop imprinted upon you that you will always be left hanging, that you will extend and the extension will not be reflected back. That is very strongly impressed within your emotionality and your mental pattern. That is what you need to dissolve. Now, the idea of having felt the way that you felt for that other individual and you extended yourself in that direction, and the other individual did not -- what was the other person's reasons for not doing so, or did you ever know that? Q: The most obvious was loss of his money. B: Loss of his money? Q: Yes. B: I see. So what you are saying is that you found out that individual had a greater love than his love for you. Q: Right. B: I see. Well, that is no surprise that hurt you; it hurt you very deeply. May I ask you another question? Q: Yes. B: How are your abundance issues? Q: Oh, they come and they go. B: They come and they go. All right. You have many interesting things entangled with many other things in this one experience: abundance issues, love issues, abandonment issues, risk issues. All these ideas are tied up in that one particular incident within your pneumonic patterns. One moment. I wish you to open your imagination now and as you open your imagination also open your heart. Just envision them opening up. Right now, for this moment, you are safe. All right? Q: All right. B: Now, imagine a time in what you call the future; it can be a day; it can be a week, a month, a year, it is up to you. Whatever feels comfortable. Imagine a time when you are looking into the eyes of another being and that being is loving you back in the way that you prefer. You have your love reflected to you. Can you imagine this? Q: Oh, yes, I imagine that all the time. B: Can you now feel what that would feel like? Q: What it is? What, that feeling is a remembrance of what it was? B: As you remember what it was, you are generating that feeling in the present. You're feeling it now, yes? You're not feeling it "back then." Remembering is feeling now; it is recreating in the now. So, do you feel what that feels like? Q: Yes. B: All right. Look into that person's eyes; see that person looking into your eyes. Feel that person's heart; feel that person feeling your heart. Feel joy at being together. Feel light in that you support each other and reflect to each other, mirror to mirror, face to face, heart to heart. Feel these feelings now. Feel the vibration now. Just allow yourself to bathe in that energy for a moment and as you do so, as you feel these things and see these things as we have described them to you, feel yourself changing, relaxing, melting into that idea. If a little fear crops up here or a little fear crops up there, that is all right. Invite them in. Invite them into your crucible and let them begin to relax and melt, knowing that they no longer have to be cast out into the cold, isolated on their own, cut off from the central source of being, but invite them back in to relax in a warm, glowing, golden rosy liquid. Feel that liquid gold within you. Melt them. See all those fears, like dark lumps of coal lying on the surface of this golden liquid; see them become red hot. See them melt, melt, softly, gently, releasing, releasing their shape, releasing their rigid form. Melting and softening until they are slightly different discolorations of the pool of golden liquid, until there is no difference anymore. Feel that. Know that you deserve that. Know that is your birthright. Allow your vibration of the golden liquid to become white, white, white hot, burning with passion and joy and excitement and creativity. Burning with sharing, beaming, beaming into the other person as it is reflected back to you, as you reflect back to him, as he reflects back to you. Carrying yourselves both higher and higher as light beings, light bodies, ethereal forms, until you become both transparent, clear, floating upon the clouds in the blue bright sky, together as one crystal, as one idea, as one reflection. Distinctly a couple but one idea. Sharing, reflecting, being, loving, breathing as one. Release this energy into the universe. Allow your Higher self to know that you now know you deserve this ecstasy. That it is what you are made of--unconditional love. Put it out there into the Universe and let it go. Now, just reawaken as yourself and as you gather yourself back together as the "you" you now know that is more like the "you" you prefer to be. You are a different person now; not the same. Every change is a complete change; you are not the same person that began this discussion. She is another; you are different. She has her own history; you have another history. She is she. You are you. You have put it out there for your Higher self to take care of the details. Relax. Feel the joy every day in your life and, without expectation, allow your higher self now to bring back to you the reflection of the joy the new you knows you are made of. All right? Q: All right. That was beautiful. B: So are you. Thank you for sharing. Q2: I've been keeping myself away from a relationship -- especially in terms of my relationship to, or with, myself. B: One moment. All right. For a moment that did not translate, for that is quite impossible. You always have a relationship, no matter how you define it. Q: Yes. B: Proceed with the definition of the relationship you are creating. Q: In other words, what I am not creating is a male/female relationship. B: All right. We assume you mean in a specific way. Q: Correct. In a more romantic way. Last week. B: Last week? Q: Evidently I created three rather extraordinary men. Each successful, powerful, wealthy, interesting, who all seemed to be wanting me in their lives for the rest of their lives. B: All right. So? Q: So, I was told by another person that I carry a certain energy, one that triggers something in a man that makes him think that I am "the one." And so it leaves me feeling a bit strange. B: All right. What you are basically carrying with this idea, is that you are attracting individuals who you are then giving an opportunity to begin to open up and recognize the changes going on in your world. You are beginning to realize you are all married to each other. Q: Ha, ha, ha. Yes. B: And the idea of relationships does not have to be mutually exclusive to each but can be enhancing. Q: All right. That was the next thing. I wanted to see what the purpose was of this situation coming into my life. B: That is one of them. Q: Okay. The other part is, two are in the film industry; one of them is a star and the other a producer. My feeling is that I am supposed to be joining with them or serving them in some way to bring something larger than just the personal relationship there. I feel that a personal relationship is not what I'm supposed to do. B: We understand your definition. Proceed simply with your feeling. Do what is integrated for you. Be who you are, and you will allow them the best opportunity to learn who they are. Q: Do you see a larger sense of purpose? In other words, is there a film that I will bring to one of them, or...? B: A film is a larger sense of purpose -- than learning who you are? Q: When one makes a film, that produces an impact on many people. B: We know. Impact, yes. It is highly probable. However, not unless you are being yourself and allowing full communication within the entire relationship that you are to allow them to understand who you are, truly who you are, honestly. Communication will be critical in these endeavors. If they do not believe they can interact honestly, then you may create difficulty in any form of impact. So you must be honest about who and what you are, and what you are attracting. And if you recognize that what you are attracting is representative of who and what you are, then make the assumption that it is mutually enhancing, not exclusive. And that they themselves are connected in many ways or they wouldn't be connected to you. Q: Ha, ha! Oh great! So you're saying, maintain these three relationships. B: I am not telling you what to do; I am suggesting that you follow your cleanest and dearest, most integrated instincts and allow things to be natural. Not normal, natural. You follow me? Q: I think so. B: All right. Do not necessarily impose or superimpose the particular frame of sociological reference upon these ideas that your society may want you to impose sociologically. Understand that if you have attracted them all, there is a reason for it. Q: Do you think I should maintain a non-sexual relationship with them? B: That is up to you and your feelings. I cannot guide you in this; I cannot tell you what to do. It is your life and you have the capability of trusting your instincts. You have the capability of knowing why you are doing what you are choosing to do. But first and foremost, in all endeavors, it is our suggestion that the lines of communication about what you are doing be absolutely clear between all involved, so that all know where they stand. Q: Yes. I'm doing that, except with one. B: All right. "I'm doing it except with one." All--except with one. What a fascinating language you have. Q: Yes. [Laughing] B: Complete the triad. Make it all. Relax; enjoy; take it easy. Observe; act with trust. Do what represents who you are, don't do what represents who you are not. Period. That's all there is to it. It's that easy. You have been together many times before, all of you. Q: Aha! B: You are simply playing out a dance; let it be a smooth one. It does not have to be a struggle. The old patterns don't have to come into it. You follow me? Q: Yes. But this one I'm with tonight in particular really wants an exclusive marriage relationship. B: You will understand tonight. Q: [laughing hard] Okay. All right. Thank you.