*Loving Relationships* Q: They talk about how you teach best what you most need to learn, and all of that. And so I feel that perhaps a relationship is the area that I've come in... to have this an area of expertise. B: Oh, all right. Q: With someone, I hope, in the near future. B: You what? Q: I hope? B: Hope? That means you doubt. Q: Apparently. That's probably one of the reasons why I'm asking questions today. B: All right. Can you all hear this person? AUD: Speak louder. Q: Okay. B: Be bold, yes. Q: The thing in my entire life that excites me the most is a relationship that I'm in right now. B: All right. Q: And by following that excitement, I found some of the most incredible teachings in my life... B: Yes. Q: ... and wonderful feedback. B: Yes. Now what do you wish to do with that information? Q: I'd like to be as clear as I can possibly be about it... B: Yes. Q: ... so that I can have the clearest relationship possible, and be able to share that with others. B: All right. Go ahead. Q: And I feel like some clarity is still necessary. I still have... B: In what area? Q: Um, in the way that the relationship seems to show up on the surface... there still seems to be some dichotomy in that it is the relationship that I want to have, and would like to have, for what I can see to be an eternity, or through this lifetime. B: All right. Q: And different feedback from what he says it is, to what I say it is; and yet not really different in the manifestation of the relationship. So I want to understand why there seems to be the dichotomy. I guess I want to know that the relationship is all that I have seen it to be, and believe it to be. B: The relationship is anything you create it to be. Q: Uh, in some ways I mostly feel that I don't have all of the skills to be able to do that. B: Maybe. But what skills do you think you need, other than the living of your life to the fullest? Q: Well, I guess I feel like I want to have the clearest communication skills. B: All right. Can you imagine what those might be? Q: I'm starting to think about it in terms of energies and kind of a knowing acceptance. B: All right. You mean a trust? Q: Yes. B: A knowing acceptance doesn't necessarily mean, however, that you settle for something you do not prefer. Q: Right. B: Understand? And that also means that you are willing to allow whatever changes do occur to happen. Q: Uh huh. B: The first... again, first relationship is with you to yourself. Q: Right. B: Now, sometimes there is a single individual who may have made an agreement with you, to reflect the idea back to you for the duration of your life span; sometimes not. Sometimes many individuals, sometimes both, it will depend. Q: Well, I'm most interested in this particular one. B: Yes, for now. Yes. And it may be the idea that can manifest for the duration of the life span. Q: Uh huh. B: But first and foremost, if you know that is so, then allow whatever is happening within it to be representative of what needs to be in the relationship. But only to the point where it is not an absolute polarization of what you prefer to experience in your own reality. Q: Right. Okay. Well, it's somewhere in between right now. So I'm... B: Oh, all right. Well, are you still learning? Q: I am still learning. B: Then continue to do so. Because that's what any relationship is for. Q: Right. B: Plain and simple. And if you are going to be with this individual for a long time, in your terms of time, then there are simply going to be the opportunities to learn many and varied subtle things. Q: Yes. B: Enjoy the path. You are getting out of it, at any given moment, obviously, what you need to get out of it, if that's where you prefer to be. Q: Well, one of the aspects that I'm curious about is how I can take action according to what excites me, and still be respectful of whatever space that he might want to have in his life. B: Do you trust the relationship? Q: It's still here. B: All right. Then, in that sense, take whatever action represents what really excites you. But also, at the same time, recognize that if another individual is not ready or willing to receive a particular communication from you, in the way that you are ready to give it, then trust that that is also a part of the timing. Q: Are there keys that I might have, in terms of some of the aspects that I've been working with energetically - to be able to understand better how to communicate in the moment, more lovingly, more respectfully? How to make communication over a distance, even though the distance seems to exist, and I don't have access to talking to him or seeing him every day, or going with him all the time in that way? B: But you are connected. Q: Right. So are there keys to knowing that, and utilizing the space to actually expand upon my energies, or my ways of communication? B: One way would be to express yourself in many different ways as well. Q: Uh huh. B: Is there any other service that excites you to be doing? Q: Outside of the relationship? Or within... B: As you mean it, outside the relationship. It will all be a part of the relationship, but as you typically mean it, yes, outside the relationship. Q: Okay. Yeah, I would like to take all that I've assimilated, and be able to communicate it to people. And I feel that ... B: Then as you do so, and as you form an outlet for communication in that way, you will continue to learn the things you need to learn to recognize the timing within the relationship more precisely. It must be expressed in both directions. Q: Yes. B: Understand? Then it will be a full circle. Q: Mhmm. So that's where I should put my attention. B: I'm not going to tell you you /should/. Q: That would be a good place to, if I chose to. B: I would suggest that it would allow you to be more well rounded. Q: Uh huh. B: And therefore, give yourself more capability of recognizing the timing on either side. Q: Okay. B: Understand? Q: I feel a little time pressured with the holidays, because my sense of my excitement tells me that I would like to be with him during the holidays. B: We understand that. But also pay close attention to the idea that sometimes there is a very fine line between the energy that you actually are honestly labeling excitement, and when it becomes anxiety and desperation. Q: Uh huh. B: Because that's not really excitement; and you're being dishonest with yourself if you call it that. Q: Mhmm. B: Understand? Q: So if I can get clear that it's excitement, then maybe I can have it? (Laughing) B: Merry Christmas! Q: Thank you. B: Thank you, sharing! Q2: Good evening. B: And to you good day. Q: I came here to experience your wisdom. I've never been here before. B: Well, do not forget that you are experiencing your own. For we are only a reflection of what you all already know. And every time to us is the first time, as well. Q: I did not put my name in to be selected, and yet my name was called. B: All right. Q: The only way that I can explain this is that you had some communication that you wished to deliver to me. Ah... that is my question: what is the communication you wish to deliver to me? B: Nope! It will be the communication you wish to deliver to yourself. Q: Hmm! B: Now, we will begin, once again, in the form of a question. Are you doing in your life what excites you the most? Q: I'm searching for what excites me the most. B: Ahhh! When do you assume you might find it? Q: (Laughs) B: Let me ask it another way. What would you really like to be doing that you're not doing? Q: Um... B: Have you ever had any kind of a fantasy? Q: Oh, well! (Laughter) A satisfactory primary relationship. B: A satisfactory primary relationship! But as we have already said, that begins with you. Q: Right. B: So aside from that idea, in terms of actually being of service doing something - what you typically call making a living - what do you want to do that you're not doing? Q: I want to spread myself out to the point where I... I feel that I have a good relationship with myself. B: Yes. Q: Okay. B: But how do you express it in your physical actions? Q: In my physical actions, um... in terms of living a life of giving? B: All right. And does it allow you to feel, in that sense, that you are infinitely abundant, and can attract everything you desire when you really need it? Q: When I'm living life that way, yes. B: All right. Are there times when you do not live life that way? Q: We all do. (Laughs) B: I beg your pardon, I don't. Please speak for yourself. Q: There are many times when I'm not constantly living a giving life. B: All right. Would you prefer to be constantly living a giving life? Q: Yes. B: Well then, why aren't you? What definitions do you contain that make it seem as if you must, from time-to-time, not live in a full ecstatic way? Q: Interesting concept! B: Well, thank you. Do you want to discuss it now, or would you like to ponder it? Q: I guess it's looking inward. And when you start looking inward, you're not living a giving-type life. B: Oh no, no, no, no. Looking inward is the key. What must go along with it is doing outward. Looking inward and action outward - with that inner knowledge. Q: Even when you're acting on your own wants? B: Yes. Why not? Q: Okay. B: As long as you know that you are doing so with full integrity, and that you deserve what you desire, then why not? Do you believe you deserve what you desire? Q: Definitely. B: All right. Then do you believe you have a clear definition of what it is you say you desire? Q: Yes. B: All right. Do you really honestly desire it? Q: Yes. B: All right. Is your overall intention clear in life, your attitude, your approach? Q: It's becoming more clear. B: All right. And are your actions clear? In other words, do you act upon the opportunities at any given moment that excite you the most that you are capable of acting on - whether they appear to be connected to what you think you want or not? Q: Um, I think that I'm getting to the point that I am, yes. B: All right. Then you are, in that sense, on the threshold of creating what we would call, in ship technology, a flashover - where you can simply understand that any definition you believe yourself to be the most strongly, will be the reality you experience, plain and simple. But as you have already understood, the first relationship is with yourself, to yourself, to the Infinite; and then the idea of the relationship with yourself to all other beings equally. By allowing the relationship you are to all other beings to be equal: that is how you are able to consciously, clearly, choose any particular individual that represents a reflection you desire to share. Many times when you place more importance on one particular thing than it deserves to have, above and beyond anything else - in terms of devaluing everything else - then you do not create an equality that makes it easy for you to pick and choose, because not everything is now on the same level. When the thing you really desire - even though that desire may make it seem to be more important, and even though that thing may be more representative of who you are - that doesn't mean that that desire and that representation make that particular idea, or object, or person, place or thing, literally, more important in a value sense to any other thing that could happen in your life. When you equalize everything, that's what gives you the greatest ability to choose anything you want. Because everything's on the same level, you do not have to reach very far to get it. It's all right here, right now, right with you, right within. You simply once again radiate an idea, and that's what you attract. But many times if an individual thinks they really need it, then they are placing an undue importance upon it. They are creating it to be a desperation, and that vibration is what keeps it at bay. Understand? Q: Yes. B: Is this being of assistance so far? Q: I think it is great. B: Now, the idea of this primary relationship: what do you imagine it would be like? Q: I've given up the idea of projecting ideas. I'm to the point where I've stopped projecting... B: Why? Q: I've stopped projecting ideas to the point where I'm reaching out for one specific thing. B: Oh, you can still do that. All we are saying is do it without invalidating everything else. Q: Okay! B: Do you recognize that it may be your preference? By all means, allow yourself to project. But what do you define the idea to be? How do you define primary relationship? Q: Well, I'm looking for a relationship that would... looking for someone who would be an equal reflection, as you say. B: Yes. A reflection of what, what would they be reflecting to you? Q: Well, someone to share a life with. B: Yes. What would you be learning about yourself in that interaction? Q: What... I don't know. B: Which is what? Q: I can't say what that is now. B: Oh, all right. Fair enough. Q: If I did, I would know. B: Ah, but you see, you do know. You do know; on some level you do know. Q: Right. B: In general - we are not asking you for specifics - in general categories, what would you be learning about yourself by being in a relationship? Would you be acting differently in that relationship than you are acting now? Q: Depends on the interaction... probably not. B: Of course. Q: But depending on the interaction, I would be growing. B: Yes, of course. You're always going to do that. Q: Right. B: But let's say right now, let's say you were in that relationship. What would the differences be? Q: The differences be? I would probably be living life - at least at the present - on that constant exciting level that you were talking about. B: All right. Then love that way now, and you can attract the relationship more easily. Q: Good. B: Because if that's the way you will be in the relationship, and that's not the way you constantly are now: be that way constantly, and the relationship cannot help but be attracted into your life. Because if that vibration is representative of what the relationship is, then be that vibration. And you'll have it. Q: Live life passionately every day. B: Yes, as we have said, the most important thing of all is the thing you're doing now. Q: Thank you. B: Well thank you! Live in the now; live in the now, it's the only time there is. It's the only place there is. Right here. Right now. When you live in the now, anything else that's going to happen in your life won't have any other place or time to happen in, except now, because you will not create there to be any other place or time for it to happen in. Q: Thanks... B: ... sweet dreams to you. Q: Thank you. B: Thank you very much for allowing us to share and interact in a spontaneously created way. At this timing, and with much joy, you may all participate in a short break. We will resume contact in approximately 10 to 15 of your minutes.