Difficult Personal Relationship



Q:  I'm having a very difficult personal relationship.

B:  How exciting.  Yes?

Q:  What lessons am I supposed to be learning from this?

B:  What have you learned about yourself so far?  What have you learned
about what you do prefer and what you don't?

Q:  I learned that I don't like unhappiness and difficulty.

B:  Oh, all right.  Will you decide to make changes that are more line with
what you prefer?  Will you stand up for who you know you are?

Q:  Yes.

B:  Will you allow changes to occur, trusting that when you change in the
direction you prefer you will always attract another individual who will be
more representative of the changes you have made within, and that it won't
matter whether you are dealing with the same individual or not?

Q:  Yes.

B:  Are you sure?  What else have you learned by being in this
relationship?  And may I also ask you, what are you defining as difficulty?
 Take your time.

Q:  We don't see eye to eye on anything.

B:  All right.  So you prefer one idea, one expression.  That individual
prefers another idea, another expression.  So what is difficult about this?

Q:  It doesn't make for harmonious living.

B:  All right.  So what's so difficult about that?  The idea is that this
individual is giving you an opportunity to decide what you prefer. If you
recognize that what they prefer is not what you prefer, move on. What's
difficult about this?

Q:  It's not, after you explain it.

B:  Then the next time you feel that you are in a difficult situation, hear
in your head your knowingness explaining this to you.  And explain it to
yourself.  Then you will know that you also have the ability to transform
"difficulty" into something you prefer it to be.  Understand?

I do not wish in any way, shape or form to make light of the situation. I
am not making light of your feelings or all the experiences that you go
through, but it really is this simple.  Honest.  It really is.  I'm not
saying you can't be a compassionate being.  I am not saying you cannot feel
for what another person might be going through or that you cannot in any
way feel that you are connected to another person, even though you may not
prefer who they are.  But the idea is that loving them truly is really
being willing to let them be who they really want to be, who they are
choosing to be, and at the same time choosing what you prefer.  THAT'S true
love.  Sometimes the kindest and most loving thing you can do for another
individual is let them find who they would really rather be.

Q:  True.

B:  Does that help you?

Q:  Yes it does.  I love what you said about guilt.  What was it?  Being
the opposite of...?

B:  Love.

Q:  Great.  Thanks.