Everyone, 

Sorry it took so long, but here's the J/C story you wanted.  Dave, this 
is for your fic page.  Alara, here's to post on the archive.  Colleen, 
not sure if you ever got this, so here it is.

Alternate Truth
by Cheile

Summary (for outside of index):  Q is back and this time, he won't take 
no for an answer.  Trapping Janeway on the holodeck, he succeeds in his 
goal--and Chakotay witnesses the whole thing.

Author's note:  This is rated NC-17.  Anyone under 17, go play 
elsewhere!  This also applies to anyone who is bothered by romance 
between Star Trek characters.  Dedicated to Becca O., one of the best 
J/C writers in the universe.  If you don't believe me, read 
"Confirmation"!

	Commander Chakotay walked from his quarters to the turbolift.  For some 
reason, he had gotten no sleep, so he was more exhausted than usual.  Of 
course, it might have had something to do with who he had been dreaming 
about.
	The turbolift doors opened and he stepped in.  "Bridge."
	The computer activated and a minute later, he was on the bridge.
	He looked around at the bridge crew.  Tuvok, along with Crewman Lindsey 
Lawrence, were at the tactical station.  From the sounds of the 
conversation, Tuvok was explaining to her what to do in case he was 
needed and she had to take over.
	Ensign Harry Kim was at the ops station, hard at work.  He looked up, 
smiled and waved to Chakotay before returning to whatever he had been 
doing.
	Tom Paris, as usual, was at the conn.  But Rollins was actually doing 
the flying at the moment.  Tom's gaze seemed to be directed elsewhere.  
Chakotay followed his line of vision--straight to the engineering 
station.
	A slight smile touched his face.  There were two female crewmembers at 
the station.  Ensign India Chapman, a petite Bajoran with light brown 
hair and brown eyes, was the one actually doing the work.  It was her 
advisor, however, that had caught Tom's attention.
	Lieutenant B'Elanna Torres swept back an errant wisp of her raven-dark 
hair as she guided India through the steps of some operation.  When 
India made a small mistake, B'Elanna pointed it out, then again pushed 
her bangs back, revealing her slight brow ridges.  India corrected her 
mistake and B'Elanna's rare smile appeared, lighting up her dark eyes.
	Chakotay glanced back at Tom.  He was still ogling B'Elanna.  Rollins 
tapped his shoulder, and for a minute, Tom didn't respond.  Then he 
snapped out of it, blushed slightly and returned to the conn.
	"Report," came a voice from his right.
	Chakotay turned--and his gaze landed on the very person whose presence 
in his dreams had so unnerved him.
	"Long-range scans have detected nothing yet," Ensign Harry Kim said 
from his station.
	"Then we'll continue on our present course."
	Captain Kathryn Janeway glanced around at her crew, then went to sit 
down in her chair.  As she moved, the lights on the bridge brought out 
the highlights in her shining auburn hair.  Chakotay was frozen at the 
sight.  God above, she's so beautiful.
	Her ocean blue eyes turned his way.  "Chakotay."  She gestured for him 
to come over to his place--next to her.
	Trying to keep calm, Chakotay crossed the bridge and sat down in his 
chair--next to her, so close to her.
	Kathryn glanced at her first officer.  He seemed a little distant 
today.  But then that might have had to do with the fact that it looked 
like he'd not slept the night before.
	"Are you all right?" she asked, concerned.
	Chakotay nodded as he rubbed his temples.  "I just couldn't sleep last 
night."
	So I was right, Kathryn thought.  But what she said aloud was, "Why 
don't you take the day off?  Go and really get some sleep."
	He pondered her idea, then decided he might as well.  Better than 
dozing off on the bridge and making an idiot of himself.  He rose.
	"I'll see you later tonight," she told him.
	He smiled at her, then headed for the turbolift.

	Kathryn watched him go, her mind puzzling the situation.  Chakotay had 
never looked so exhausted before.  And the look in his eyes when they 
locked with hers......  It was a look of longing.
	*Am I possibly right?  Does he feel about me the way I feel about him?  
Does he care for me like I do him?*

*

	Twelve hours later, Chakotay was no closer to sleep than he had been 
when Kathryn had suggested he take the day off.  It figured, considering 
thoughts of her were still crowding his mind.
	He remembered when they had both come down with that illness, and they 
had been quarantined on New Earth.  He had been prepared to never be 
able to leave, to spending the rest of his life with her--and only her.
	He remembered the night she had heard the sound while outside in the 
bathtub, when he'd come out and the only thing covering her was that 
towel.  Her long auburn hair had been pinned up, but some errant strands 
had come loose, framing her face.  Never had she looked more beautiful.
	He remembered after the plasma storm, when he'd given her a backrub.  
She'd leaned back against him and he had to force himself to resist the 
urge to bury his face in her hair, to take her into his arms and show 
her how much he loved her.
	Eventually, exhaustion overwhelmed him and he fell asleep.

*

	Kathryn awoke the next morning, confused.  She lay silently in the 
darkened room, her mind racing.
	The longing look in Chakotay's eyes the day before--what did it mean?  
Did he feel for her the way she did for him?
	Ever since their quarantine, things had been different.  Thinking that 
they would never be able to leave, she had told him formalities were no 
longer necessary and that he could call her Kathryn.
	She remembered the massage he'd given her after the plasma storm, when 
her back had hurt.  He had been so gentle.  Unconsciously, she'd leaned 
back against him, longing for him to take her into his arms and love her 
the way she knew he'd longed to.  But he had retreated.
	She had never thought of what things might have been like if Tuvok 
hadn't defied her orders and come back to get them.  She did wonder how 
things might have turned out if he hadn't retreated that night.  If he 
had given in to how he felt about her......
	A tremble went through her.
	The comm system came to life.  "Chakotay to Janeway."
	She shook herself out of her thoughts.  "Go ahead."
	"You're late."
	"Late?"  She sat up straight.  "For what?"
	"For windsailing on the holodeck.  Remember?"
	"Oh, I'm sorry, Chakotay.  I was deep in thought and not paying 
attention to the time."
	"It's all right.  But be here in fifteen minutes or I'm taking Kes 
instead," he teased.
	"Neelix won't appreciate that."
	He laughed.  "Holodeck two.  I'll see you soon, Kathryn."

*

	Precisely fifteen minutes later, Kathryn came onto the holodeck, 
stepping directly through the doors onto a white sand beach.  A breeze 
ruffled her hair, pulling the stray wisps from her bun.  The breeze died 
slightly and the wisps settled, framing her face.
	Chakotay turned to see her coming toward him.  She was clad in an aqua 
one-piece, with a sarong tied about her waist, her hair still pinned up, 
but she was still so beautiful.
	"Ready to hit the waves?" he asked.
	"Ready when you are, Commander."

	"Well, that was exhilarating," Kathryn laughed, collapsing onto the 
smooth white sand two hours later.
	Chakotay sat next to her.  "Exhilarating is an understatement."
	She sighed and closed her eyes.  Chakotay watched her silently, the 
stray tendrils resting on her cheeks, the soft rise and fall of her 
chest as she breathed.  Unable to resist, he reached over, gently 
brushing back the stray wisps of hair.
	Kathryn opened her eyes in surprise when she felt his fingers brush her 
cheek.  His deep brown eyes were locked with hers, full of longing and 
love.
	He bent his head and kissed her, softly, tenderly.  She kissed him 
back, one hand reaching up to clutch his shoulder, the other pressed 
against the sand, the only thing holding her up.
	When they separated, she took a deep breath, trying to get her senses 
about her before she spoke.  He beat her to it.
	"I'm sorry, Captain.  I never should have--"
	"Chakotay, shh," she told him.  "It's all right."
	At this, he smiled, knowing that she wasn't angry with him.  She smiled 
back softly and leaned against him.
	"I've been thinking," he said, after several minutes of silence.  "We 
are close friends, Kathryn--"
	"--and you were wondering if we could go farther?" she finished.
	"How did you know?"
	"I've been thinking the same thing."
	"Could we try it then tentatively?  See how it goes?"
	"That sounds like the best way to go about it," she remarked.
	"Then how about tomorrow?  Here?"
	"What time?"
	"1830?"
	"That's fine with me.  What program?  Sandrine's?  Neelix's resort?  
This one?"
	"I have something in mind," he told her.  "And I know you'll like it."
	"What?"
	"I'm not telling you, Kathryn.  That would spoil the surprise."
	Kathryn shook her head.  "What do I wear?"
	"A sundress would do.  Something similar to what you wore to Neelix's 
first luau."
	"Then it's a date," she said.
	He grinned.  "I guess it is."
	She rose, gathering her sarong around her waist and tying it.  "I wish 
I could stay, but duty calls and you have a program to write."  Leaning 
down, she kissed him lightly.  "I'll see you tomorrow, Chakotay."
	As she left the holodeck, Chakotay settled back against the sand with a 
sigh of happiness.  Kathryn did  love him.  And tomorrow, their love 
would be complete.

**

	Kathryn stepped onto the holodeck.  A beautiful sunset was in the 
distance, flashing pinks and golds.  Beneath her feet was a smooth tile 
floor and the rest was a setup was similar to a luau program Neelix had 
once used, except there were no holodeck characters.
	She smiled.  She'd had no idea Chakotay was such a romantic as to 
create this program.
	"Lovely, isn't it, Kathy?"
	Kathryn spun around.  Q was standing there, a smirk on his face.
	"You were expecting your sweet Chakotay?"
	"What are you doing here?" she demanded.
	"I told you long ago, Kathy, I'll have you.  And this time," he 
continued, advancing toward her, "you won't refuse me."
	"Pretty confident in your powers of persuasion, aren't you?"
	He didn't answer.  Without warning, he grabbed her and jerked her 
toward him, bringing his lips down to hers in a crushing, brutal kiss.

	Chakotay stepped off the turbolift and went to the holodeck doors.  
"Activate sunset Hawaii program," he told the computer.
	"That program is currently running," the computer answered.
	Kathryn had spoiled his surprise.  Oh well, he would forgive her.
	The doors opened.  He walked in, looking for Kathryn--and stopped 
short.
	The last rays of the sunset fell across the horrible scene he was 
witnessing.
	Q was embracing Kathryn, kissing her, his hands everywhere, even as she 
cried out, clinging to him.
	Fury filled him.  Not wanting to see anymore, he turned and stormed 
out.
	Once back in his quarters, he slumped against the wall and began to 
cry.  Kathryn--his Kathryn--had betrayed him.

	Kathryn jerked away from Q.  "Get your hands off me, you bastard!"
	He reached up and squeezed hard on her shoulder, causing her to cry 
out.  "Don't push me, Kathy.  Or it will be a lot more painful."
	Wrestling her to the ground, he pinned her there, even as he went to 
kiss her again.  She bit him.
	Jerking back, he slapped her so hard her ears rang.  "All right, Kathy.  
You asked for it."
	In one swift motion, he ripped Kathryn's sundress from neck to waist.  
His eyes gleamed as he caught sight of the bare skin beneath.  "Perfect.  
What I've always been waiting for."
	His hands covered her chest, squeezing so hard she cried out again.
	"You know you want me, Kathy.  All you have to do is admit it."
	"Bastard," she swore.
	"We'll do this the hard way, then."
	Kathryn felt her skirt ride up to her waist, but she still struggled 
furiously.  She wouldn't let him do this....
	A burning pain shot through her.  She screamed.
	"That's my Kathy," Q whispered, thinking her scream was one of 
pleasure.
	Kathryn fought him, even as he continued to hold her down and went on 
with the painful torture.  When she managed to get a hand free and push 
at him, she was slapped again.  Her head ached from that blow and dazed 
her, so she could do no more but cry out in pain until he collapsed on 
top of her.
	Seconds later, Q separated from her and was dressed.  "See Kathy, I 
told you I was wonderful."
	"Get off my ship, you bastard," she hissed.
	Q sparkled and vanished.
	Kathryn tried to get to her feet, but couldn't.  She fell back on the 
tile floor, curled into a ball, and lay there, crying, for what seemed 
like hours.  Finally, she managed to get to her feet and after looking 
at the chronometer, found that only a half-hour had passed.  Holding the 
front of her dress together, she left the holodeck to find Chakotay.

	Chakotay was still in his quarters.  He had stopped crying, but was 
still furious.  So when his door chime sounded, he snapped, "Come in."
	The door slid open and he turned to face Kathryn.
	"Chakotay, where were you?"
	He glared at her icily.  "Get out of my sight, Kathryn.  I never want 
to look at you again.  Unfortunately, I have to."
	"What's the matter with you?" she asked.
	"Why do you have to ask--Kathy?"  he said, driving the nickname Q used 
into her, causing her to flinch.  "I saw you with him.  It's obvious you 
want him over me.  He can have you."
	"That's not what happened!"
	Chakotay was in such a blind rage that he didn't see Kathryn's bruised 
face, her torn dress, her tear-filled eyes.  All he saw was that the 
woman he loved had betrayed him.

*

	Kathryn awoke the next morning.  Her first awakening thought brought 
tears to her eyes.  Chakotay didn't believe her.
	All night, she'd been plagued by nightmares, reliving what Q had done 
to her.  The ones following were worse.  Instead of Q, it was Chakotay 
who slapped her, threw her down, hurt her......
	She buried her face in her pillow.  The last thing she wanted to do was 
go up to the bridge, face him after what had happened last night.  Yet 
she didn't want to stay here, for fear that Q would show up again.
	She leaped out of bed.  She'd rather face Chakotay.
	A half-hour later, she was on the bridge.  On the outside, she looked 
perfectly calm and collected.  On the inside, her stomach was in twenty 
knots.
	Before daring to move toward her chair, she looked around at the rest 
of the crew.  Rollins was at tactical, since Tuvok was off-duty.  Harry 
glanced up with a smile.  B'Elanna was again with India Chapman at the 
engineering station.  Tom was at the conn, though his gaze kept flitting 
to B'Elanna.  The thought made tears sting her eyes.  She forced them 
back, then turned toward the middle of the bridge, behind the conn.
	The look in Chakotay's dark eyes was a mix of rage and accusation.  For 
a minute, she almost turned and fled--to get away from him, from the 
fury in his once loving gaze.  But she decided that she wouldn't allow 
him to intimidate her.
	Slowly, she made her way to her chair and sat down, turning slightly 
away from Chakotay so she wouldn't have to look at him.  Even so, she 
could feel his gaze still on her.
	"Captain?"
	Kathryn blinked in surprise.  Tuvok was standing next to her, holding 
out a data padd.  "You requested yesterday to see a tactical update.  I 
have completed it."
	She took it from him.  "Thank you, Tuvok."
	He looked closely at her.  "Is everything all right, Captain?"
	"I'm fine," she lied.  "I guess I didn't get enough sleep last night."  
She rose to her feet.  "I'll be in my ready room."
	Tuvok watched her go, puzzled.

*

	Alone in her ready room, Kathryn struggled to hold back her tears.  The 
terrible memories were still fresh in her mind--the determined gleam in 
Q's eyes, the terrible pain, and the accusing look in Chakotay's eyes 
only an hour before.
	*Why doesn't he believe me?  If he saw what happened, he should have 
seen that I was trying to push Q away, that he was holding me so that I 
could barely struggle.*
	The door chime sounded.  She quickly took a deep breath and tried to 
regain her control before saying "Come in".
	The door opened.  Kes walked in.
	Kathryn gave Kes the best smile she could manage.  The slim, petite 
Ocampa could always calm her.  When Kes was in the room, she could 
always lighten spirits.
	Today, Kathryn wasn't so sure.
	"What did you need to see me about, Kes?"
	"The Doctor noticed that something seems to be wrong, Captain.  You're 
not yourself, he thinks."
	"What do you mean?" she asked quickly.
	"It's obvious that you haven't gotten any sleep in the past twenty-four 
hours," Kes pointed out.  "And you were holding your stomach earlier, as 
if in pain."
	Kes' crystal blue eyes were scruntinizing her.  Kathryn could stand it 
no longer.
	She burst into tears.
	"Captain, what's wrong?"  In an instant, Kes was at her side.  She put 
one slender arm around Kathryn's shoulders.  "Are you all right?"
	"I'll never be all right again," Kathryn choked.
	"What's happened?  Can I help?"
	Kathryn shook her head.  "No one can help me.  My life is ruined."  The 
torment shook her deeper and she curled up, crying harder.
	Kes knew that there was only one way to calm her.  Closing her eyes, 
she began to concentrate.
	*Breathe deeply.  Be calm.  Let all your sorrow out, but don't let it 
control you.*
	Kes' voice in her mind began to calm Kathryn.  She took a deep breath, 
sighed, then brushed the tears away.  Then slowly, she lifted her gaze 
to Kes.
	"Now tell me what happened," Kes said softly.
	After another deep breath, Kathryn began to explain what happened.  
When panic began to overwhelm, Kes went into her mind again, until she 
could calm down and continue.
	"I went to find him.  He was in his quarters.  He told me that he had 
seen me kissing Q and that it was obvious that I didn't want him.  But 
it wasn't true!  And then today, I came onto the bridge and the look in 
his eyes--it was so full of accusing hate.  He hates me now--and he 
doesn't even know the truth!"
	"You told him and he still won't believe you?"
	"He looked right at me last night and still didn't believe me!  I 
thought he would have known.  Q had ripped my dress and slapped me so 
hard that I had bruises on my face.  It was as if Chakotay didn't see 
that."
	The door chime sounded.  Kes stood up.  Kathryn brushed her tears away 
and called, "Come in."
	It was Tom Paris.  "Captain, I had a--hey, what happened?  You okay?"
	Kathryn shook her head.
	"Can I help in any way?" he asked hesitantly.
	Again, Kathryn shook her head.
	"Should I tell him?" Kes asked.
	Kathryn nodded.
	Kes related to Tom the incident of the night before.  Tom's eyes 
narrowed.  "That omnipotent bastard--where does he get off?!  If I ever 
get ahold of him, I'll strangle him.
	"Does Chakotay know?"
	At this question, Kathryn began to cry again.
	"What did I say?" Tom asked Kes.
	"The commander doesn't believe her."
	"What?!"  Tom was aghast.
	"He thinks that I was willing, that I wanted Q," Kathryn told him.  "He 
told me that Q could have me, for all he cared."
	"The nerve," Tom growled.  "I ought to go out there and knock him 
through the viewscreen.  How could he possibly think that?!"
	"He just does," she sighed, brushing away tears.
	"Captain, you should get some rest."
	Kathryn nodded, rose and left the room.  Tom followed a minute later, 
Kes behind him.

**

	Soft, padding footsteps.  A flash of amber eyes.
	Chakotay rose in his dream state, without moving from where he lay 
sprawled across his bed, his mind following the silent call, even as his 
body remained motionless.  It was always this way when she called him.
	This time, the setting was a calm spring night.  A sliver of moon hung 
in the sky, barely seen through the thick canopy.  He knew the place 
well.  She always brought him here, even tonight, when his conscious 
thoughts were troubled.
	Feeling the urge to run, he began running, across the meadow, paying no 
heed to the ground beneath his feet.  Though he did not turn to look 
beside him, he knew she was there.  He could hear the faint footfall of 
her swift feet.
	Finally, when he was winded, he staggered to a stop and collapsed in 
the grass with a deep sigh.
	But she did not join him as usual, settling herself in a seated 
position about a foot away.
	Puzzled, he raised his head to look at her.  *What is troubling you?*
	*You are not the same tonight, my friend*, she thought back.  It is 
unlike you to be this way.
	*What do you mean?*
	*You know exactly what I mean.  It is the way you have been acting 
toward Kathryn.*  Her amber eyes were fixed on his face.
	*It is only because of what she has done to me*, Chakotay protested.
	*You are wrong, my friend.  Your eyes saw, but it was not what you 
thought.*
	*I don't want to talk about it.*  Chakotay rolled onto his side, his 
back facing her.
	But she did not give up so easily.  Within seconds, he found himself 
again staring into those piercing amber orbs.
	*You will be making a terrible mistake, my friend, if you continue to 
have this anger toward Kathryn.  I know what really happened, even if 
you won't believe her.  Believe Kathryn.  Believe the alternate 
truth....*

*

	Chakotay awoke slowly, as if he had been sleeping for weeks.  His 
friend's confusing words still echoed in his head.
	*Believe the alternate truth....*

**

	At the end of his shift, Chakotay rose and left the bridge, shooting 
Kathryn one more furious look.  He saw her tough expression fall away, 
and watched tears fill her eyes--ultimately devastated.
	*As well she should be*, he thought.  *After her betrayal, she ought to 
be feeling a whole lot of guilt.*
	He stepped into the turbolift and was about to say "Deck three", when a 
thought hit him.  He had been trying to get her out of his mind, and 
there was only way to do it.
	And there was one person that could help him.
	"Engineering."

	Down in Engineering, B'Elanna was working desperately over the main 
console.  Gods, what she wouldn't give for the next half hour to pass 
faster so she could meet Tom for dinner......
	"B'Elanna?"
	Shaking her hair out of her face, she looked up.  Chakotay was standing 
above her.
	"Yes, Commander?"
	"I need to talk to you."
	B'Elanna nodded and signaled to Vorik to take over.  Vorik moved to 
take her place as she followed Chakotay to the other side of the room.
	"What is it, Chakotay?  I've got a lot to do before my shift is 
over...."
	"So you can meet Paris, I know.  I only wanted to know where you got 
that brandy."
	"Brandy?  You mean the Klingon brandy from Ensign Collins' birthday 
party at Sandrine's?  I still have a leftover bottle--I'm saving it for 
Neelix's next luau to add to the mai tai  mix."
	"Can you get another for the next luau?"
	B'Elanna's eyes narrowed.  "Why?"
	"Because I wanted it."
	"What for?  You're not going to get yourself drunk, are you?"
	"It's the only way to forget," he grumbled to himself.
	"To forget what?" she demanded.  "The fact that you're a blind idiot?  
I know what really happened--Tom told me."
	"Oh, really?" Chakotay said sarcastically.  "And how does he know?"
	"He heard it from the Captain herself."
	"Does he know she's lying?"
	He barely saw B'Elanna's hand flash out before she slapped him across 
the face.  Surprised, he stumbled back.
	"How dare you," B'Elanna growled.  "I can't believe you, Chakotay.  You 
actually believe that she would--would submit to that egotistical 
bastard!  She loves you!  In case you hadn't noticed that night, she 
still has traces of the bruises he gave her on her face.  Look hard, and 
you'll see the marks.  Notice the fact that she has circles under her 
eyes.  She hasn't slept in days, haunted by nightmares of the incident 
and from crying herself beyond exhaustion because you won't believe her!  
She's in pain, Chakotay, and you're causing her more because you're too 
damn stubborn to admit that you're wrong!"
	"I am not wrong!" he snapped.  "I know what I saw!"
	"You saw Q holding her so tightly that she couldn't struggle away," 
B'Elanna said pointedly.
	"I saw her clinging to him!" he raged back.
	"You saw her trying to push him away!" she retorted.
	For several minutes, the two glared at each other.  Finally, B'Elanna 
broke the eye contact and turned away.
	"I'll give you the brandy, Chakotay.  But not so you can forget.  Maybe 
when you're completely drunk, you'll see what is in fact the truth."
	With that, B'Elanna spun around and left.

	Five minutes later, she returned with the bottle.  "Here," she said 
caustically, handing it to him.  "Go on, get out of here.  You're in the 
way."
	Vorik raised one eyebrow in her direction, slightly surprised that she 
would speak to the Commander in such a way, but let the thought pass.
	After Chakotay left, B'Elanna turned back to the main console and 
sighed.  This was going to take another hour, at most, to finish.  She 
touched her commbadge.  "Torres to Paris."
	"Go ahead, B'Elanna."
	"This is going to take me another hour.  Can you move our time back?"
	"Can't someone else do it?  You've been slaving all day," he said 
gently.
	A faint smile touched B'Elanna's face at the tenderness in Tom's voice.  
He was always concerned about her, no matter what she was doing--whether 
hydrosailing on the holodeck or working too long.
	As if an answer to her prayers, Vorik appeared at her elbow.  
"Lieutenant, I did not mean to listen in, but if you and Lieutenant 
Paris have something scheduled, I can finish whatever needs to be done 
here."
	She sighed.  "Thanks, Vorik."
	Vorik nodded.
	"All right.  It's taken care of.  I'll see you in fifteen minutes."
	"Holodeck 1," Tom confirmed.
	"Got it.  Torres out."

*

	Alone in his quarters, Chakotay opened the bottle of brandy.  He had 
once sworn that he would never act like Paris did in his younger 
days--getting drunk all the time, never once thinking about anyone but 
himself.  Of course, he had never thought something like this would 
happen to him.
	With a sigh, he snatched up the glass and filled it to the brim.  He 
drank half the glass in one shot and gasped from the fire that burned in 
his throat.  *Whoa.  Powerful stuff.*
	He would be more careful, he decided.  Taking a cautious sip, he closed 
his eyes and tried to push the thought of Kathryn out of his mind.

*

	Another shift ended.  Kathryn wearily pushed herself to her feet.  She 
watched Tom Paris gleefully skip past her to the turbolift.  On his way 
to meet B'Elanna, no doubt.  The two had become closer by the day.  In 
fact, the only time they weren't seen together was when they were on 
duty or asleep.  And even times of the former were becoming fewer and 
farther between.  When on the bridge, B'Elanna would find some excuse to 
go to the conn.  They would talk about some engineering or piloting 
skill, but when they thought that no one was looking, they would 
exchange a glance and even a secret kiss now and then.  Now he was on 
his way to meet her for dinner.  The two would either be in the mess 
hall or on one of the holodecks, plates of Neelix's latest culinary 
creation between them, but with eyes only for each other.
	The thought made her throat choke up.  Only days ago, she and Chakotay 
had shared that kind of love.  Now it was gone--because he wouldn't 
believe her.
	Kathryn managed to hold her composure until she reached the solitude of 
her quarters.  Once there, she flopped down on her bed, curled up and 
burst into tears.

*

	Chakotay slumped in a chair, nursing his fifth brandy.  He couldn't 
believe that Kathryn--his  Kathryn--would actually sleep with Q.  She 
had always claimed to hate Q.
	Again, the scene formed in his mind.  Q grabbing her, pulling her 
close, kissing her.  He heard in his mind her cries--painful cries......
	The brandy glass crashed to the table.
	Painful cries?!  The scene suddenly clarified in his mind--the 
determined gleam in Q's eyes, Kathryn's ripped dress, her screams, 
struggling against Q and being slapped in return......
	She had been telling the truth!
	Chakotay suddenly felt sick.  How could he possibly think that Kathryn 
would want to be anywhere near that bastard?  How could he have treated 
her the way he had?
	He rose suddenly.  He had to go see her.

	Kathryn lay on her bunk.  She was in pain, inside and out, physically 
and emotionally.  She had tried to explain to Chakotay, but he refused 
to listen.  Now all she wanted was to lay here and die.
	Her doors slid open.  She figured at once it was Q.  He was going to 
drag her to the Continuum and she would be a prisoner--forever.
	But when she was turned around, her eyes locked with Chakotay's.
	"What do you want, Chakotay?" she demanded in a whisper.
	His dark eyes were full of remorse.  "Kathryn, I'm so sorry for not 
believing you."
	Did she dare believe him?  Was he really feeling guilt?
	"If I ever get my hands on him, I'll kill him for raping you--and I 
don't care if he claims he's immortal."  His hands gently cupped her 
bruised face.  "I love you, Kate.  Damn it, I love you."
	He leaned down, brushing his lips across hers, unpinning her hair so 
that it fell in an auburn sheet across her pillow.  She returned his 
kiss, her hands skimming across his back.
	Breaking the kiss for only the slightest second, he undressed her--then 
himself.  Together, they fell back on the bunk, skin to skin, holding 
each other so close they could have been one.
	Chakotay looked into her aqua eyes and wondered how he could have 
doubted her.  How he could have thought that she would betray him.  
Because he'd been so stubborn, she had been hurt emotionally as well as 
physically.
	His eyes left hers to slowly travel the length of her body.  That was 
when he noticed her bruised shoulder and the marks across her chest and 
stomach.
	"Did he do this to you?" he demanded.
	She nodded.
	"My Kathryn--how could he--"  His voice trailed off as he pressed his 
lips to the bruise on her shoulder, tenderly.  Then the kiss trailed 
down to one breast.
	Kathryn gasped as he began to suckle gently, while his hand cupped the 
other one.  Her hands went to his shoulders for support.  He switched 
sides, causing her to moan.
	His kiss trailed down, lightly covering the bruises across her stomach.  
Then he parted her legs gently, keeping his eyes locked with hers.  He 
cupped her hips in his hands, then buried his face against her.  Kathryn 
cried out in shock as her hands went to his hair.  The sensation was 
like nothing she'd ever felt before.  It was overwhelming.  The waves of 
ecstasy that ripped through her was like the tide lashing the shore, 
rising higher and higher until finally reaching the peak of the 
explosion which left Kathryn and everything she knew shattered in a 
thousand pieces in Chakotay's strong arms.
	Chakotay heard Kathryn's shriek and rose up to look into her eyes.  He 
pressed her close as he came to her.  Her eyes widened as she whispered 
his name.  He felt her tense, even though his thrust had been gentle.
	"Shh, Kate.  It's all right.  I won't ever hurt you."
	Kathryn looked into his dark eyes.  Though she was still in pain, the 
remnants of the shock remained.
	"I know you won't hurt me," she whispered.
	"Should I?"
	"Please," she said softly.
	He began to move within her, slowly at first, then the intensity 
heightened.  Writhing beneath him, Kathryn cried out again and again.  
He held her, whispering endearments, his hands cradling her hips.  Only 
seconds later, an explosion from within went through Kathryn.  She let 
out another moaning scream as the intense ecstasy shot through her.  
>From far away, she heard Chakotay's low groan.
	When she finally floated back to earth, she was shocked and shaken, and 
lay trembling in Chakotay's arms.  He lay with his head on her shoulder, 
his heartbeat thundering against hers, his hands stroking her hair.
	"I love you," she dared to whisper.
	He raised his head and looked deep into her eyes.  "And I love you, 
Kathryn."
	They stayed in that position for several seconds, him above her, their 
eyes locked.  Finally, Chakotay lay back down, moving to the side, 
bringing him with her.  His hands gently moved up her back and through 
her hair.  She traced her fingertips along his tattoo and down his 
cheek.  He caught her hand, bringing it to his lips.  She closed her 
eyes for a brief second.
	He leaned over to kiss her again, then settled her against him, turning 
her around so her back was against his chest.  She murmured his name and 
snuggled against him.  He buried his face in her rose-scented auburn 
hair and drifted off to sleep.

*

	Kathryn awoke the next morning in Chakotay's arms.  She lay still for 
several minutes, loving the feel of his bare skin pressed against hers, 
the brush of his lips along the back of her neck and shoulders, the 
touch of his hands as they wandered lightly across her stomach.
	"'Morning," he murmured, turning her around so that he could kiss her.
	When they parted, he looked into her eyes.  "I wanted to apologize 
again for not believing you, Kathryn.  I should have known better."
	"Shh," she told him.  "I understand."
	He pulled her close.  She snuggled against him.  They were silent for a 
long time.
	"Kathryn, will you marry me?"
	She laughed softly.  "Yes, Chakotay, I will."


(Note:  Star Trek Voyager, its characters, and other stuff belong to 
Paramount.  This story is not for sale or reproduction.  All legal 
nonsense applies.)


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