i—
CHAPTER 1
CONTACT
TT was
the strangest creature Darius had seen. "Uh-oh," he heard Colene say.
The
four of them stood by the anchor, gazing out onto the world it showed, and the
thing that hovered in the foreground. The world was ordinary: a gently rolling
countryside, patches of flowering bushes, and trees beyond. In the distance
were blue-gray mountains. He had seen many realities like this. But the
creature was something else.
It was
about the size of a calf, maybe the weight of two solid men, and roughly oval
in cross section. At the top was what looked like a stout elephant's trunk, but
it connected to no elephant's head. Instead it seemed to thicken, and then
condense into another trunk pointing the other way. Two or three projections sprouted
from its center, moving sinuously, as if snakes were poking their heads out of
small tunnels. The double trunk might as well have been the snout of a dragon,
ready to belch fire fore and aft.
The
main body was odder yet. It was covered with stubby projections and with holes.
Air was being sucked into those holes and evidently blown out below, because—
Because
the thing was floating just above the ground. He stared, but saw no sign of
legs or feet. Yet it did not seem to be magically levitating. Instead the body
was hov-
2 CHAOS MODE
ering
on a cushion of air. Its base seemed to be a curtain to enclose that air, and
sections rippled as gusts moved out.
Its
mind is blank to me.
Darius
became aware of his companions. Beside him on the right stood Seqiro, the
massive horse. He was their most intimate companion, because of his powerful
telepathy. With him, all of them seemed to speak the same language, and could
share feelings directly if they wished to. It was Seqiro who had spoken—or
rather, who had projected his thought.
"It
is an alien creature," Darius said. "It will take time to fathom its
mind."
He
spoke in his own language, but knew that the others heard it as their own,
because of the linkage. Colene had set out across the Virtual Mode to join him,
and he had set out similarly to join her. They had met more or less in the
center, where they had encountered complications. But she had met the horse
first, and that had turned out to be a wonderfully unifying thing, because of
the ambience of their shared thoughts. Now, with fair luck, they would resume
their trek across the Modes and reach Darius' reality. There they could settle
down to a satisfying existence. If they didn't get stuck along the way. If they
could work out their personal problems. If a thousand likely things did not
happen.
"It's
our new anchor person," Colene said. "It has to be, because here we
are facing a new reality, and there it is facing us. So we'd better talk to it
fast, before it decides we're its next meal." She nudged Darius. "Can
you do your thing with it?"
"Transfer?"
he asked. He had the ability, in his own reality and in some others, to drain
the emotion from a person, and then to broadcast it to everyone in the
vicinity. That was his job, at home, as the Cyng of Hlahtar. Or, as Colene put
it in her idiomatic thought, King of Laughter. He made people happy. But he
hadn't been able to do it in Julia, the Mode they had just left. Each reality
seemed to
CONTACT 3
have
its own mysterious rules of magic, science, or whatever. "I can try. But
who—T
"Not
with me!" Colene protested. "I'm full of depression. That thing's
depressing enough, without adding to it."
That
was of course her tragedy. Instead of being a vessel of joy, she was a vessel
of dolor. Except when she was close to him; then her love blotted out the pain.
Their shared thoughts revealed it all. It was one of those problems they had to
work out.
"But
Nona is the only other human person here," he said.
Colene
thought of the way he drew emotion, and he followed her thoughts to their
inevitable conclusion. He had to get as close as possible to the other person,
and that other person was Nona. That was disaster, as Colene saw it. "Skip
that for now," Colene decided. She faced Nona, the fourth member of their
party. "What about you? Can you work your magic here?"
Nona
considered. She was verging on eighteen years old, and absolutely beautiful in
face, feature, and mind. Her thick cloud of brown/black hair framed her head
and shoulders and full bosom in a manner that was endlessly becoming. Darius
knew that Colene feared she would never be able to match that sort of appeal.
All this and magic too!
Nona
gestured. Nothing happened. She concentrated, her face as lovely when frowning
as when smiling. "My magic has no effect," she reported. "I can
not levitate, or move objects, or transform them to other forms or substances.
I am not in a position to attempt healing, and I am not yet sufficiently adept
at changing my own shape to know whether I can do that here. There does not
seem to be sufficient magic power here for me to draw on."
"How
about illusion?" Colene asked.
"Oh,
that's not magic," Nona protested innocently. "Anyone can do
that."
"Anyone
in your Julia set," Colene said wryly. "The rest of us can't."
4 CHAOS MODE
Nona
concentrated again. A faint haze appeared above the horse. That was all.
"What
about a familiar?" Darius asked. "That's not physical magic."
"But
for that I must touch an animal." Colene looked at the monster floating
patiently before them. "Is that an animal?"
"I
couldn't touch that!" Nona exclaimed, horrified. "Well, we have a
choice, here," Colene said, exhibiting some of the qualities that made her
a much more significant person in her own right than she believed:
intelligence, initiative, and courage. She was only fourteen, but much like a
full woman in some respects. "This has to be our new anchor person, and it
has to have had a really good reason to latch on to our Virtual Mode. So
chances are it's either a scientist or a felon. We can't shut it out from our
Mode. So either we try to ignore it, or we try to come to terms with it. Me,
I'd rather know something about it before I relax." She nerved herself.
"So /'// go touch it. If it eats me, the rest of you get away from here in
a hurry."
Nona
smiled ruefully. "I will touch it, Colene. Perhaps I can indeed tame it as
a familiar." She stepped forward. Colene thought to protest, but Seqiro's
thought restrained her. / will work with her, as I have before. Perhaps
together we can relate to it.
Nona's
magic and the horse's powerful telepathy. They could indeed work well together.
Seqiro could help Nona without getting in range of the weird creature.
"Thanks, horseface," she said, reverting to one of her immature
facets. The irony was that she appealed to him this way, too. He loved her as
she was, with her internal conflicts and
all.
Nona
approached the creature somewhat diffidently. Seqiro suppressed her natural fear,
so that she could be objective. Seqiro could if necessary take over a person's
body, if the person let him, and make him or her do things impossible to manage
alone. Probably he could enable Nona to leap away from the creature with
inhuman speed
CONTACT 5
and
strength. If she needed to. So this was not quite as risky a procedure as it
might seem.
The
creature quivered on its cushion of air. Two of the upper stalks twisted to
orient on her.
"Eyes!"
Colene exclaimed. "It's a BEM!"
"A
what?" Darius asked.
"A
bug-eyed monster. It's focusing its eyes on Nona."
"Those
look more like snail eyes to me," Darius said. But he had to agree that
they were orbs of some sort.
As Nona
came close to the thing, they saw that knobs poked out from its rim, each on a
rod, like the antennae of sea denizens. But these didn't look quite like
antennae. They looked like blind terminals, in Colene's imagery. Darius lacked
sufficient experience to understand the nature of the reference, but he accepted
it because he had no better image of his own. He had had some limited
experience with machines, while crossing the realities of the Virtual Mode, and
gathered that this was a machine analogy.
Nona
stopped beside the creature. Air from the thing's outflow stirred the turf by
her feet. The stalked knobs reached out farther, wiggling.
Now
Darius saw something else. The thing did have eyes. They were on the three
central stalks. They were watching Nona. So it knew she was there. What else
did it know?
Nona
slowly reached out. Her left hand came toward one of the knobs.
Suddenly
that knob jumped outward on its rod and smacked into her hand. Nona, still
pacified by the horse, did not jerk away. She remained calm, her hand holding
the knob.
Something
happened. The ambience of telepathy faded. It was like stepping out of a warm
chamber into the chill air of a barren plain.
Darius
looked at Colene. She seemed as concerned as |; he was. She put her hands to
her head, as if something was missing from it. Then they both looked at Seqiro.
Now the
horse was just a horse. Darius noticed how Seqiro, eighteen hands high at the
shoulder, dwarfed the
6 CHAOS MODE
girl,
who was only fifteen hands high at the top of her head. But the horse's brown
mane exactly matched Colene's brown hair. They were a matched set in that
respect, and in age: Seqiro was also fourteen. The girl loved horses, and
Seqiro loved girls. Seqiro linked them all, tele-pathically, and liked them
all; he assumed the qualities of whatever mind he was in touch with, borrowing
its intelligence. But Colene was his first love. If there were to come a
crisis, and Seqiro had to choose just one of them to save, she would be the
one.
Colene
spoke. This time he heard it in her actual language, without the translation to
his own. Normally the horse relayed the thoughts, and each person's mind did
the rendering, unconsciously; now those thoughts were not there. But Darius had
spent time with Colene in her reality, when they first met, and had come to
learn some of her language. He could translate it, approximately, when he
concentrated.
"Seqiro—are
you all right?" she was asking. Or "Are you well?" or "You
have not been harmed?"
"He—all—well,"
Darius said, picking from his memory of her vocabulary.
"He—help—she." For he was tuning in on the horse, as he might for a
drawing of emotion, and realized that there was no problem. Seqiro was merely
devoting his entire mental energy to the purpose at hand: Nona's rapport with
the creature. It had to be a considerable challenge.
Colene
looked back at Nona, and Darius followed her gaze. The woman stood unmoving,
her eyes blank, her hand on the knob. But the creature was moving, slowly: it
was settling to die ground. The swish of air diminished, and then faded out, as
the bony lower fringe of the creature came to rest on the ground. The three eye
stalks retracted until they were mere spots on the surface.
"Xxxx
yyyyyy zzzzz," Colene said, incomprehensibly, amazed. She was using
vocabulary too sophisticated for Darius to decipher. Then, realizing, she
turned back to him. She concentrated visibly, and he felt a faint touch at
CONTACT 7
his
mind. She was trying to use her own very limited telepathy.
So he
stepped to her, embraced her, and focused his mind on hers, as if he were about
to draw her emotion. But he only touched her awareness, without taking hold of
it. That facilitated the contact, and amplified her projection.
Innocent
woman and fantasy horse, she thought. Then, realizing that she was getting
through, but not sufficiently, she clarified the concepts. Young woman, girl,
never done
S€JC~~~~
"Virgin,"
he said, grasping the concept. Virgin with one-homed horse, she thought, then
spoke the word: "Unicorn." Only virgin can tame unicorn. Nona-He
nodded. Nona, unlike Colene, was a virgin. This suggested a certain mental
innocence. Sometimes only the truly innocent could approach a creature others
knew to be dangerous. Somehow the creature might know, and not harm her. As he
reflected, he picked up more of the background from Colene's reflections. It
seemed that there was a certain ironic humor to the myth: unicorns were
extremely rare. In fact they did not exist at all. The implication was that
human virgins were similarly rare. That concept was tinged with grief and
anger, for Colene herself had found out how a virgin lost her innocence. It had
not been by her choice.
So it
was Colene's judgment that Nona was taming the monster. With the help of all
Seqiro's mental power. All he and Colene could do was not interfere. They would
just have to wait for it to happen.
They
were, in effect alone. He was holding her close. He brought his head down. She
lifted her face. They kissed.
:
Colene had never been strong on subtlety. She grabbed •"on to his
shoulders, heaved herself up within his embrace, 3$:«nd wrapped her legs around
his torso—while holding the '"Muss. She opened her mouth a little and
stuck her tongue
8 CHAOS MODE
through.
He was so startled he almost dropped her. She laughed—still without breaking
the kiss.
But he
was learning her ways. He slid a hand down to her upper thigh and tickled it
through the cloth of her trousers. She squirmed, but he continued more
vigorously, crossing the buttock, until she had to break the kiss and grab his
hand. "No fair!" she cried, trying to act outraged as he let her
slide down to the ground. He needed no telepathic translation of that
expression. She was still young enough to consider herself duty-bound to react
to tickling, especially in places where it wasn't supposed to be done.
She
made as if to punch him in the groin. He made as if to grab her by the hair.
They were feinting, looking for a pretext to kiss again. Colene was also, in
her fashion, trying to seduce him. Fortunately he was more experienced than she
in this respect, and was countering her ploys emotionally as well as
physically. He never forgot that though they loved each other, she was too
young. By the standard of her culture she was not supposed to be ready for
sexual interplay. That standard had been violated, and the violation had caused
her much emotional mischief. He intended to see that it wasn't violated again.
Perhaps when they reached his reality, it could be determined whether she could
be considered a new citizen, governed by the more permissive standards his
people enjoyed. So that she would be allowed to choose for herself. Because he
would like nothing better than to let her seduce him, if—
Then
Darius heard something. It was a honk. He held up a hand, flat, signaling her
to desist.
She had
heard it too. She looked in the correct direction. Nothing was visible.
Then
they heard a faint hissing or swishing, as of moving air. Something was
happening in the distance, out of sight. What could it be?
Colene
was the first to catch on. She pointed to the creature with Nona. She pursed
her mouth and blew air out. Then she pointed to the unseen noise. Another of
that kind of creature?
CONTACT 9
Darius
suspected that it was. Now he heard more hissing, from another direction. Then
from a third. There could be several such creatures drawing near.
The
creature they had met had invoked the anchor. That could only have been for
serious reason. It was possible it was a criminal, trying to flee where the
local law could not follow. But it was also possible it was a martyr, deserving
of assistance. Regardless, it was the anchor creature, and no one else could
release that anchor, so they were stuck with it. Better to get to know it, as
Colene had said.
But
they wouldn't get much chance, if others of its kind came and captured it.
Others were indeed coming; now he saw one steaming in from the forest, gliding
across the land at what must be its traveling speed.
There
was a honk from that direction. "First blood," Colene muttered, and
again he didn't need a translation. The prey had been sighted, and soon all of
them would be here. Indeed, another appeared, sliding at the same velocity.
Darius judged that he could outrun the things, but he wasn't sure that they
wouldn't accelerate and outpace him.
Nona
and the local creature remained in their communion. What was happening between
them? Would it be dangerous to interrupt? But it might be dangerous not to
interrupt, and warn them of the approach of others.
Darius
took a step toward mem. Colene grabbed his arm, shaking her head no. Then she
walked to the horse, reached for his head, and changed her mind. She signaled
Darius, making an up motion with her two hands.
What
did she have in mind? He went to her, put his hands on her hips, and heaved her
up so that her head was the height of the horse's head. She was a small girl,
and carried no excess weight; it was easy to lift her.
She put
her face to Seqiro's left ear. "Seqiro," she murmured. Then, louder:
"Seqiro." Then she put her mind into ; it: Seqiro.
r;' The ear twitched. She had gotten his
attention. "Danger, ;|.' maybe," she said.
>fe.: This time Darius heard her through his
mind, with no ieffort. The horse had resumed the job.
10 CHAOS MODE
"Others
of this kind are approaching rapidly," Darius said. "We must alert
this one, in case this means trouble."
Nona
looked around. She had heard the warning too. She still had her hand on the
knob, but the communion seemed to have ended.
"Seqiro,"
Nona said. "Amplify me for one more moment; I must warn him and ask him to
follow us through the anchor."
The
other creatures were converging. "Do it!" Colene cried.
The
ambience faded again. Then Nona withdrew her
hand.
The
creature infused air. Its eye stalks sprang out and waved, sweeping the
horizon. The air hissed louder. The body lifted from the ground.
"Come
on!" Nona cried. She ran for the anchor.
The
creature followed.
The
other creatures were closing in. The closest one crossed a patch of sandy soil.
Its rear trunk dragged down, touching the sand. Then sand blasted out of its
front trunk. The sand didn't travel far ahead, but some of the pebbles in it
did. One landed not far from Darius.
"They're
shooting at us!" Colene exclaimed, outraged.
"Get
moving!" Darius shouted.
They
ran after Nona and the creature. Nona abruptly disappeared, having stepped
through the anchor. Then the creature did the same.
"Come
on, Seqiro!" Colene cried. Because the horse was waiting for her.
The
three of them stepped through the anchor almost together. The scenery hardly
changed, but the pursuing creatures vanished. Nona and the first creature were
not in view.
We are
in the next reality, Nona's thought came. We passed through two.
"She
can mind-talk across Modes?" Darius asked, startled.
"No.
Seqiro can transmit across Modes, when he tries,"
CONTACT 11
Colene
explained. "Especially when he knows the people. He's keeping track of
Nona."
They
walked three more steps, and there were Nona and the creature, seemingly
popping into existence. The Virtual Mode was like that: every ten feet, by
Colene's reckoning, there was the boundary of another reality, or Mode, similar
to the last but a completely separate entity. The land and vegetation changed
less between Modes than the animals did, so animate creatures seemed to pop in
and out against the common background. It was, as Colene also put it,
weird—until a person became accustomed to it.
"Okay,
Nona, what gives?" Colene inquired. "Did you get its life
story?" She gazed without complete trust at the creature, and two of the
eye stalks gazed back at her. The third was watching Darius, and he was just as
disconcerted as Colene was. The thing was obviously aware, and now that he knew
that its trunks could hurl stones, he feared what other threats it could
muster.
"No,"
Nona said. "We reached only the yes/no not-enemies stage. The rest is too
complicated to assimilate immediately. This is a completely alien creature, but
he means us no harm. He wants to travel on the Virtual Mode."
"Look,"
Colene said. "This landscape is Earth. Not right around where I live, but
somewhere on the continent. I know Earth when I see it. How did such freakish
aliens get here? Did they conquer Earth and kill all the people? I mean, how do
we know this thing isn't trying to conquer the larger universe, the way Emperor
Ddwng of the DoOon Mode was?"
That
was a fair question. They had barely escaped that grasping Emperor, and only by
tricking him into vacating his anchor. They did not want to get into such a
situation again.
"This
is indeed your Earth," Nona agreed. "But he is not alien. He is
native. His species evolved here. And he . is not an evil creature."
"How
can you know that?" Colene demanded, "I'm insure that nothing like
this has ever existed on Earth. I
i*
12 CHAOS MODE
mean,
the eye stalks are possible, and maybe the elephant trunks, and maybe the
knobs. But air suspension and propulsion? No way!"
Nona
shook her head. "My understanding is as yet imperfect. But there is no
untruth when I tame a familiar, and there is no untruth here. To him, we are
the alien creatures. He was appalled when he saw us; it was all he could do to
remain for my contact. I am the ugliest creature he has seen or imagined, let
alone touched."
Darius
laughed, and so did Colene. Anyone in the universe who thought Nona was ugly
was crazy.
But she
was serious. "Seqiro at least could be mistaken for a large animal, but
the three of us are like demonic fantasies. It was some time before he could
suppress his revulsion enough to pick up my thoughts, and it remains difficult.
But this was the gamble he took when he in-'voked the Virtual Mode, and he has
to live with it. He could not remain with his kind. I don't understand what is
wrong, but he is not a bad person; it is some complex social interaction that
caused him to be banished. But he can not live alone, so he had to gamble on
alien contact."
"You
say his kind is native to Earth, in this reality?" Colene asked.
"Then what about our kind?"
"Our
kind does not exist here. We never lived here. None of the kinds of animals we
are most familiar with ever existed here."
"You
mean no mammals at all?" Colene asked, daunted, "I know this is a
different reality, and a lot of them don't have any life at all, but—"
"No
mammals, reptiles, birds, fish, dragons—no vertebrates," Nona said.
"No—what you call chordates. But there are arthropods, and sponges, and
mollusks, and the plants seem similar. I think everything is much the same,
except that his kind is here and our kind isn't." "How far back does
this go?" Colene asked. "From the time that many-celled life evolved.
He thinks of three great dyings that eliminated many creatures, but his kind
managed to survive the last two, and come to dominate the world."
CONTACT 13
"From
the. time of multi-celled creatures?" Colene asked. "That's the
Cambrian explosion! Five or six hundred million years ago!"
"Yes,
that seems to be the scale time he is thinking of," Nona agreed. "In
my universe, it isn't the same, so it's confusing."
"The
Burgess Shale!" Colene exclaimed.
"The
what?" Darius asked.
"This
is a world where things changed with the Burgess Shale," Colene said,
awed.
Nona
looked blank, and Darius felt the same. 'Things are obviously different
here," he said. "But what does shale have to do with it?"
"Well,
nothing, really, maybe. But it's where we discovered all the strange creatures
who didn't make it. The experiments of evolution. It must be that in this
reality, our phylum, the chordates, didn't make it, while his phylum, whatever
it is, did. So I guess this is Burgess, and this is (be world of Shale."
Darius
exchanged a glance with Nona. Even with telepathy, this didn't seem to make
much sense.
"Each
Mode has its own rules," Darius said. "Whether of magic, or science,
or memory, or something else. Perhaps they all were unified once, if we could
trace back to the points of divergence. This creature is surely no stranger
than many others we might encounter in other realities. But surely he has a
name of his own, and we should honor that."
"What's
his name?" Colene asked Nona.
"It's
just an electrical identity pattern. I wouldn't know how to translate it to a
name in our terms."
"That's
what I thought," Colene said smugly. "So we have to call him
something we can relate to. So it's Burgess. The same goes for this
world/reality. So it's Shale." She faced Darius. "You have a problem
with that?"
He knew
better than to challenge her on a minor point. "I have no problem, if he
does not. He can address us by electrical pulses, if he wishes, so long as we
are able to tell whom he means."
14 CHAOS MODE
"Nah.
Seqiro can render the translations. When we say Burgess, he'll hear his pulse,
and when he pulses at us, we'll hear our names."
Nona
looked doubtful. "Seqiro has not yet related to—to Burgess. He has merely
amplified my power of relating to a familiar, and I have somewhat clumsily
communicated. We shall have to spend a great deal more time together before we
can converse at all readily. It is—it is like learning another language. For
him and for me. We have been exchanging pictures."
"Well,
then maybe we should get into some safe nook and get to know him," Colene
said brightly. "Because we don't want to have to risk another anchor
change; no telling what might come up next time. And Burgess is the only one
who can free his anchor anyway. So let's find out what's on his mind, and see
if our purposes align, and then maybe we can travel on together."
Darius
looked around. "This is only two realities away from—from Shale. There are
probably similar creatures here, and we probably should avoid them until we know
more about them. So perhaps we should travel until we find a reality that seems
barren, or at least inoffensive."
"Good
point," Colene agreed. "Nona, tell Burgess what we're up to."
"I
will try," Nona said. Darius had a notion what she was up against.
Relating to an alien creature was no simple matter, but Colene acted as if it
were just a matter of translating a few terms.
Colene
shot him a glance. "No, I'm just trying to get something done, before
anything worse happens."
He
tended to forget that his private thoughts as well as his uttered ones were
shared with the others. Seqiro would limit communication if requested, but that
would make it seem as if Darius had something to hide. So normally only his
strongly sexual thoughts were excluded.
"Oh
they are, are they?" Colene demanded. Darius was smart enough not to
respond.
Nona
put her hand on the creature's knob again. "These are his contact
points," she explained. "Normally he
CONTACT 15
touches
one to a contact point of another of his kind, and they exchange information
rapidly. In the way ants do with their antennae, perhaps. But I am alien, so
the exchange is difficult."
Then
the telepathy faded, as Seqiro focused entirely on Nona. Darius was alone
again.
Colene,
never one to miss an opportunity, stepped up to him, ready for more kissing
games. Perhaps with a demand to know exactly what sexual thoughts weren't being
relayed, relating to whom? But she hesitated.
"You—are—well?"
he asked in her language.
"I'm
not sure." She looked around. "Is mere something coming?" He was
sure he had the essence, because her gesture and expression matched what he
understood of her words.
"I—see—no."
Indeed, the landscape was clear. There were only bushes and trees.
"Something
ugly," she said. "Festering. Horror." Or words to that effect.
She kept looking around, as if expecting disaster to appear.
'There
is nothing," Darius reassured her. "I can tell by my feel for
emotion. My power is working here, I believe."
Still
she reacted. Lines appeared in her face and her lips drew back from her teeth.
"Awful. It's coming for me. I know it!"
Then he
began to sense it too. Because he was tuning in to Colene, and the ugliness was
there in her mind. There was something— something that he had never found in
her before. Not her normal depression, but something worse.
He took
her in his arms. "Use mind-talk!" he urged her. "Show me the
whole of it!"
She let
him have it. Her telepathy was quite limited, compared to Seqiro's, but they
were in close physical contact and her emotion was strong. The ugliness
expanded to foul his own awareness.
He felt
frightened and ill and despairing. He wanted to flee, but couldn't. It was as
if a monstrous predator had locked his gaze to its own eye and would not let
go. Mo-
16 CHAOS MODE
ment by
moment, that terrible grip strengthened, squeezing his mind and soul.
He tore
himself away from her, and the awfulness diminished. "The mind
predator!" he cried. "The thing that pursued Proves, our friend who
remembered only the future. Now it is orienting on you!"
"The
mind predator," Colene agreed sickly. "Oh, Darius, get me out of
here!"
He knew
he had to. Because Colene and Provos had traveled the Virtual Mode together,
and Colene had reported with mental pictures when they returned. The thing had
threatened to destroy Provos, seeking her across the realities. They had
escaped it only by fleeing through an anchor. It seemed to be a horror of the
Virtual Mode, not a particular reality, and it could not pass out of its range.
He
stepped to the horse. "Seqiro," he said into the animal's ear.
"Break contact. Emergency." Probably Seqiro could not understand his
actual words, but the sound was enough to break his concentration.
The ear
twitched. Then the telepathy returned.
"Colene's
in trouble!" Darius said. "The mind predator. We must go back through
the anchor immediately!"
That
got the horse's instant full attention. Suddenly the horror invading Colene's
mind was blasting at them all. Nona screamed and sank to the ground.
Darius
fought back, forewarned by his prior encounter with it. "Stifle!
Stifle!" he cried. "Don't relay!"
Then it
stopped. The horse had damped out that aspect. In fact he had cut Colene out of
the circuit. Nona climbed back to her feet, her eyes round with horror.
'Tell
Burgess we must go back to his world," Darius told her. "Now. Before
that thing consumes Colene."
"But
it's not safe there!" she protested.
"It's
not safe here\ We shall have to go through and flee the other creatures, or
fight them. Hurry!"
She put
her hand back on a knob. The telepathy faded out again.
Darius
picked Colene up. She was like a doll, mostly
CONTACT 17
Imp,
but her hands and feet were twitching sporadically The mind thing was making
mush of her mind. He strode back toward the anchor, carrying her. The others
could follow or not, but he was getting Colene away from the mon-
CHAPTER
2
BURGESS
"DURGESS"
was in a mixed state. He had invoked the dread Virtual Mode and suffered the
touch of the monsters therein. They were alien and grotesque, yet not actually
inimical. They did seem to have a hive of some sort, though it seemed
distastefully limited and crude. So far only one of the four had contacted him,
but she was trying to understand.
Now
this "Nona" pattern was indicating alarm. They had to go back through
the anchor; the picture was clear. The aliens were fleeing something on the
Virtual Mode.
Burgess
would have protested, but he lacked status with this hive. So he would have to
accept its mandate, and try to protect it from external threats.
This
hive, small and alien though it was, had something strange and enlightening. It
enabled him to seem to think for himself. Instead of merely reacting to the
latest contact, he experienced the throes of a decision-making process. He was
acting like an entire hive—by himself. This was so odd it was ordinarily
impossible. Yet the pattern for it was with the aliens, and as he followed that
pattern he became conscious of self. He was becoming an individual.
This
must be a requirement of survival, on the Virtual Mode. The creatures of the
Mode survived, and they had
BURGESS 19
it, so
it must be necessary. They touched each other only to compare strategies, not
to restore their places in the whole. He would never have conceived of such a
thing, had he not discovered its patterning in the Nona thing.
They
had to flee into his world, and he had to help them survive it, for they did
not know its ways. He had to have initiative. It was a strain in his awareness,
especially when he was not in direct contact with the alien, but that was the
way it was. Actually he had been developing a crude kind of initiative before,
from necessity: cut off from the home hive, he had done what gave him a chance
to find a new hive. It had been desperation, because otherwise he would have
lost his ability to function as a member of a dominant entity, and would have
regressed into animal status. But it was also initiative. He recognized that
now. The alien contact had greatly amplified an ability he had not understood
before.
He
lifted and quested with his jet. He found several round stones, which he sucked
in and held for expulsion. They would do for only token attack, but that was
all that offered. Just enough to make the others pause, so that escape was
possible.
Then he
would have to show them the one place where the members of the hive would not
go. He believed that the aliens could go there, because they used animal
propulsion. They had legs, like those of crustaceans, that pushed against the
ground. They seemed to take in air, but to push it out through the same
orifice. That was not effective for locomotion. But in this case, their animal
nature would help them.
He
followed the Nona thing across the Modes. The larger animal went with them. It
had four leg appendages, instead of two, but was similarly primitive about its
use of air. Its surface was highly irregular, with projections that did not seem
to be either eyes or contact points. But it ; moved well enough, its legs
coordinating with bewildering '" ;sse. ' They caught up with the other
two. Now there was an-
20 CHAOS MODE
other
surprising thing: the two had merged, and were traveling on only two legs.
They
plunged through the anchor almost as a group. The hive members had departed,
unable to pursue Burgess through the anchor. They had seen him vanish, and they
believed that he would never return. But one was watching, just in case.
Now
that one saw the emerging creatures, and honked. That signaled the more distant
members of the hive. Soon they would converge, as they had before. There was
only limited time to reach the safe zone.
The
hive member lifted a trunk. But Burgess, prepared, fired a stone first. It
struck an eye stalk, momentarily blinding the hiver. The hiver retreated,
unable to decide on a more aggressive course without contact with other hivers.
This was Burgess' advantage, he realized with surprise: he was now able to act
with minimal consultation, because of the pattern he had learned from the
alien.
The
aliens were hesitating. The two who had merged separated again, each using its
own legs. Burgess showed the way. He set out toward the nearest section of the
wilderness region. He moved as fast as he could, but it was soon apparent that
the aliens' animal legs could propel them faster. That was good, because it
meant that the hivers would have difficulty catching them.
But now
the pursuit was manifesting. Several hivers were coming into view, converging.
He would not be able to outdistance them all. Burgess had several rocks
remaining in storage, which he could use to discourage too close an approach.
But he would soon be overwhelmed by the greater number of hivers. He saw that
clearly now that he was thinking for himself. Also, the same wilderness that
blocked the hivers would block him. He could show the aliens the way to their
safety, but he could not help himself. He should have remained on the Virtual Mode.
Perhaps if he had been more accustomed to thinking as an individual, he would
have realized that.
They
were moving across the almost level land toward
BURGESS 21
the
adjacent river. Beyond it was the wilderness. But now he recognized another
problem: the water presented a barrier for the aliens, who could not float
across it. He had not thought of their limitations before. Was he leading them
into a trap?
The
hivers were now closing from four directions. One followed directly behind; two
were angling in from the sides; one was coming along the river. The fleeing
folk were ahead of three, but the one on the river was cutting diem off. So
even if the aliens could cross water, they would not escape.
The
aliens made exclamations. Burgess suspected that these were expressions of
dismay at the sight of the hiver ahead of them. Such dismay was well taken.
Burgess
did what he could. He floated up to the river and fired a stone at the hiver.
But the hiver saw it coming and slid aside so that it missed. Then the hiver
oriented a trunk to fire a return rock.
Then a
second rock flew at it—one Burgess had not fired. Surprised, he turned his eye
stalks to trace its origin. There stood one of the aliens, making some kind of
gesture. In a moment another made a similar gesture—and a rock flew away from
it. They were firing rocks!
The
hiver on the water floated away, because the rocks were too numerous for it to
avoid. The aliens were taking them in their upper appendages, moving the
appendages swiftly, and letting the rocks sail out. In this weird manner they
were able to do combat!
But the
three other hivers were approaching. Burgess floated across the water, hoping
the aliens could somehow navigate it, because there was no other choice. , The
aliens moved into the water. Their legs plunged through it to contact the
ground below, and they maintained forward progress. They were able to cross! It
was dower than on land, but adequate. Soon all four of them •were on the other
bank.
They
moved on toward the wilderness as the leading "iver arrived at the river.
The hiver on the water was now
trancing
again, coming to join the otiiers. Burgess saw
22 CHAOS MODE
that
the river had slowed them so that the pursuit was now much closer. They were
almost within rock range. With four hivers firing, that was bad.
Burgess
floated as rapidly as he could toward the trees, but he had to veer around a
rocky hill. That was impassable, of course. The hivers cut across and narrowed
the distance between them.
Then
the aliens did something amazing. They moved up the slope of the hill! They
were able to navigate it, because they lacked air cushions, which had to be
almost level. But they were not safe, because the small hill was in rock range;
the hivers would bombard mem as soon as they finished with Burgess.
A rock
came at him, and bounced off his canopy. That one did not hurt, but others
would. He would have to stop and fight as well as he could against the four.
But
then the aliens stopped. They gestured, and rocks started flying again. They
were hurling rocks down at the hivers! Three of them were doing it, while the
largest one stood and watched. Burgess realized that that one could not use its
legs for this purpose; all four were confined to the ground. How did it do
combat?
For a
moment Burgess watched, amazed at the facility with which the creatures handled
the rocks. They were not limited to small ones that a trunk could handle; they
were taking larger ones and heaving them down. The rocks missed, but the hivers
halted their pursuit and floated back out of range. They touched each other,
getting current on the situation.
Still
the aliens threw rocks. This was another surprise: the rocks were reaching the
hivers. The aliens could hurl the rocks farther than the hiver could! Their
seemingly awkward limbs were good at this.
One
hiver was struck on an eye. Another suffered a rock in an intake hole, causing
it to lose some of its flotation. The hivers retreated farther, to get out of
the surprising range of the aliens.
And the
aliens advanced! They continued to pick up rocks and hurl them. The hivers had
to retreat, and finally
BURGESS 23
to
flee. They could not match the rock-throwing ability of the aliens.
In this
manner the aliens had saved Burgess, who would surely have had his eyes knocked
out and his intakes blocked if he had been alone. He had tried to save the
aliens, and the aliens had saved him.
When
the hivers fled, the aliens ceased throwing rocks and returned to Burgess. The
Nona creature put an appendage on one of his contact points. Good? she sent.
Burgess
returned a picture of a placid blue sky. It was good.
They
continued to the wilderness. Here the big trees spread their branches high and
their roots made a lattice on the ground. This prevented any hiver from
traveling through, because it was unfeasible to maintain a sufficient cushion
of air to support the body. The irregular roots prevented the canopy from
making even contact with the ground, and the air leaked out inefficiently. Thus
the wilderness was impossible to penetrate, and no hivers went there.
The
aliens, however, had no difficulty. Their legs simply stepped on the roots, or
between them. They could go wherever they wished in the wilderness,
Now
that Burgess had shown them to safety, he contemplated his own problem. He
could not join the aliens among the trees. But neither could he return to the
anchor porthole. The hivers would now be guarding it. What was he to do?
Then
the aliens did the strangest thing yet. One of them touched the largest one,
and separated something from it. Were they dismantling the large one?
The
second largest alien took the object, which looked
like a
detached branch of a tree, and poked it at the
ground.
It sank into the dirt. Then it came up, and the dirt
•came
up and fell among the tangled roots of the nearest
.tree.
The alien moved the branch again, and more dirt fell.
He
continued to do this odd series of motions, until con-
iriderable
dirt was piled across the roots,
£' Then he moved away, and the smallest of the
aliens
24 CHAOS MODE
climbed
onto the mound of dirt. The legs moved up and down, and the feet landed on the
dirt, making it spread and
flatten.
This continued.
The larger alien piled more dirt, while the smaller tread it flat. Was this
some ritual of theirs? What was its point? The spread dirt was forming a
channel which passed the tree and extended into the wilderness, where the
ground was less interrupted.
Then
the Nona creature touched a contact point again. Go she sent, and made a crude
map showing the dirt.
Burgess
tried to convey to her that he could not go into the wilderness. But she was
persistent. Go. Path. Path? An awesome explanation loomed. Burgess pumped up
his air and moved to the dirt. He moved onto it. The dirt had filled in the
crevices between the roots, and made a section of level ground there. He could
travel on this!
He
followed the path, and soon was on the other side of the tree, where the ground
was navigable. The aliens had made it possible for him to enter the wilderness!
But
Burgess realized that where he had passed, the hiv-ers could also pass. They
would soon be returning in force, to overwhelm him and the aliens.
After
he passed, the alien with the branch used it to scrape away some of the dirt.
Now the path was impassable in that region. Burgess realized that the aliens
had understood the threat, and acted to protect him. No hivers would follow
them into the wilderness.
The day
was declining. Now that safety had been assured, it was time for Burgess to
eat. Rather than try to explain this process to the aliens, he showed them. He
fired a rock up at a fruit hanging above. The fruit dropped. Then he sucked the
fruit into his intrunk and ground it up with his internal teeth so that his
body could absorb it directly from the reserve chamber. The irreducible husk
and seeds he simply blew out the outtmnk.
Now the
aliens demonstrated how they consumed food. One used its limbs to climb up into
a tree—a process that amazed Burgess—and plucked and threw down several of
BURGESS 25
the
ripe fruit. Another caught the fruits before they reached the ground. Then the
aliens brought out a sliver of stone or bone and used it to cut the fruit
apart. Each piece was then put to an orifice in the upper end of the creature,
where it slowly disappeared. The process seemed, on reflection, to be roughly
similar to what Burgess did, but with different implements. Now he saw mat
there were indeed teeth in the upper orifices, which masticated the fruit.
Since the chewed fruit did not emerge, it must find its way into the body. It
seemed to be a workable system, crude as it was. The largest creature ate its
fruit from the ground, but also had grain which came from a pocket along its
side.
By now
it was getting dark. Burgess simply settled on his curtain and drew in his eye
stalks. The aliens were more elaborate. They gathered sticks and brush and
fashioned a structure. Then they made themselves horizontal within this
structure and were quiet. This, too, seemed workable.
There
was a sound deeper in the forest. A kind of clicking.
Then
Burgess' new syndrome of thinking for himself brought him alert again. He had
been lulled into a sensation of security, because he regarded the aliens as an
alternate kind of hive, and the hive was safe at night. But they were not
really a hive, and this was the wilderness. It was not safe at all, especially
by night.
He
honked. It was a floater's signal of danger or alert. He had done it
automatically, because that was the way of ;his kind. His new mode of thinking
was merely an overlay on the conditioning of his lifetime.
The
aliens reacted immediately. They scrambled out of their shelter, making
exclamations. They looked around vwith their odd recessed eyes. One held an
object which • emitted a beam of light, as if the sun were inside it. The A
light splashed around in a circle, showing the trunks and ^"oliage of the
trees. The aliens had understood the warning well enough, but there was no
threat near.
26 CHAOS MODE
The
Nona creature came to touch a contact point. ?, she inquired.
Burgess
tried to clarify his concern. He sent a picture of a tree of the wilderness,
with a darkness looming beyond it. He made a click with the rocks in his trunk.
He fashioned a bolt of fear, hoping it would be intelligible to
her.
The
Nona made sounds. The others responded. They seemed to have better sonic
differentiation than the floaters did, perhaps because their contact points
were undeveloped.
Then,
so abruptly it had to be by communal agreement, they were quite silent. They
remained so for some time, motionless.
The
click repeated. It was followed by a rustling and scraping, some distance away
but approaching. Describe, the Nona creature sent. Burgess sent a picture of a
huge crustacean that dragged itself along the ground by the use of several sets
of legs, with enormous pincers in front. He had seen one of these only when it was
dead; it had evidently fought some other creature in the night, and been
defeated, and had dragged itself out onto the plain to escape. But its injuries
had been too great, and it had died there. The flying flesh-eaters had swarmed
there in the morning, and a floater had investigated. It had summoned others,
who had spread the news, so that soon the entire hive had the mental picture of
the creature. This was a monster of the wilderness! And this was what Burgess
feared was coming near, with its pincers clicking hungrily.
The
aliens consulted, in their fashion. Then they went to work, in their fashion.
It seemed as senseless as their prior activities with the sand and shelter, but
Burgess suspected that it would turn out to be as sensible at the conclusion.
The aliens might not be a true hive as he knew it, but they managed a fair
emulation of hive activities.
Then
they went to the largest of their number, flashing their little beams of light,
and drew out more branches from its hide. Burgess realized that the complicated
protru-
BURGESS 27
sions
were actually not part of the creature; they were somehow attached to it, and
could be removed. It was as if he were carrying them, without carrying
appendages. The aliens were as strange in their subtle ways as in their obvious
ways.
They
fetched more fallen branches, and started to spread more dirt. Burgess didn't
know what this dirt was for, as the ground in this glade was level and needed
no path for him, but he was willing to help on the assumption that tbey were
accomplishing something useful. He wanted to be part of the hive, as every
floater did. So he went to where the larger two-footed alien was, and sucked up
some dirt from the place where it was being excavated with the stick, and blew it
out where it was being piled. The creature stepped back, then indicated where
more dirt should go. Another creature flashed the light there, so that there
was no question. Burgess was able to move the loosened dirt faster than the
creature could with the stick. Soon he had moved all of the loose dirt and
there was a long mound at the edge of the glade.
The
creature used its stick to loosen more dirt, and this facilitated Burgess'
effort. He blew it to the end of the mound, extending it. In this manner they
formed a small valley and ridge that entirely surrounded the glade.
Meanwhile
the Nona creature had gathered more branches, and had rolled some large stones
to the glade. Now the aliens set the stones on top of the ridge of dirt, and
put the branches up by the stones. They fashioned some of the branches into
straight sections, and used stones to pound on these, so that they sank endwise
into Uie ground.
Now at
last Burgess came to understand what they were doing: they were making a
hive-barrier! What the hivers did entirely with dirt, making a mound that no
hiver could cross, the aliens were doing with dirt and stones and branches.
Inside the circle it should be safe.
Now the
two smaller aliens returned to their shelter. The wo larger remained outside
it. The four-footed one merely silently, as before, but the other came to
Burgess. It
28 CHAOS MODE
put an
extremity on a contact point. Faintly its information came through. It was
male. His identity was "Darius." He was a friend. He was watching.
Burgess
sent images of his own. He was not sure how well they were being received, but
there did seem to be partial communication. Now at least he knew the contact
pattern of a second alien. This was reassuring.
Burgess
was tired. He had alerted the creatures to the threat, and they had responded
in what had turned out to be a sensible manner. He was reassured. He sank back
down to the ground and retracted his eyes.
HE
resumed consciousness when another alien contacted him. This was the smallest
one, who turned out to be female. There was something special about her; she
was intense, and her thoughts forged through with sharper definition. She was
"Colene." She was watching now.
But she
wasn't satisfied just to be alert for danger. She wanted to know about Burgess.
Where did he come from, why was he alone, why had he invoked the Virtual Mode?
Her determination to know cut through the problem of communication. He found it
relatively easy to understand her, and she was understanding him. Her pictures
were coming rnrough with increasing clarity. She let him know what her own
world was like: similar plants to this one, but no creatures like him, and many
variations of her type. Creatures who had ridges down their length, through
which their bodily communications flowed, and four legs, and minds at one end.
Strange!
He
tried to clarify for her what his world was like. It was dominated by a number
of creatures she thought of as "arthropods"; she knew what spiders,
insects, and crabs were. But the dominance by power was the "phylum"
to which the floaters ultimately belonged: the vast array of
"triramous" animals. That was her term, and she presented it with
such wonder that he had to explore the matter further. It seemed that this was
the key difference between their worlds: the triramous phylum existed in one,
and the "chordates" in the other. In each, the mi-
BURGESS 29
merically
inferior type nevertheless had achieved the greatest influence over other
types, and had the greatest freedom of action.
The
time in the development of life when their two worlds had been the same was, by
Colene's reckoning, the "Cambrian." The records of his world had no
indication of her type of creature, known also as the "vertebrates";
the records of her world lacked indication of the triramous creatures. But
surely the two coexisted in that time, 550 million years ago. The time of the
great proliferation of species, most of whose phyla later was tost. Colene's
kind bad become aware of this early abundance by inspecting a layer of rock
they called the Burgess Shale. Now her identification of him was associated
with this, so that he was "the creature of Burgess" and his world was
"the Shale rock." H was just the way she visualized it, she
explained, and she intended no disparagement. She rendered this concept with
such a friendly corollary that Burgess had to respond.
This
"friendly" concept was as alien to him as the matter of individuality
or self. He focused on it, because though it was vague, it was pleasant. It was
another type of patterning. It was what Colene presented as
"emotion": an attitude about things that related to the self. For a
hiver, pleasure was achieved by conformance to the consensus of die hive, which
was achieved by frequent contacts. To be current was to be satisfied; to lack
currency was to be unsatisfied. There were no other significant indications.
But with Colene's pattern of self came emotions which related to the
individual, and currency was irrelevant. Since Burgess would slowly fade and
die without currency with a hive, this alternate system was of interest; could
he learn to survive without currency? If so, he would be unique among his kind.
Colene
was eager to know more about Burgess and his species and culture. He was as
eager to know about hers. Already the alien pattern she transmitted was taking
hold, 'Showing him the way to think in her fashion, and he was
ling to
feel friendly to her. He had never liked another
30 CHAOS MODE
creature
before, because such emotion did not exist among floaters except in the sense
that each member of the hive needed his hive. Colene, more than the others, was
relating to him. She seemed like a discrete entity to him, and he saw himself
as a discrete entity in her view. That was something new and valuable. So he
tried to obtain more information about her and her kind. Their intellectual
pattern was as strange as their physical pattern.
She
responded with yet another new emotion: a pleasant, odd, paradoxical mood she
called "laughter." She would make him a "deal," a summoning
of chance which would determine who learned first about whom. They would watch
the other two creatures of her type, and see which of them was first to move
body or limb. If it was the male, then Burgess, being male, would prevail, and
Colene would inform him of all he wished, to the extent of her ability. If it
was the female, then Colene, being female, would prevail, and Burgess would
inform her similarly. This deal was so strange that Burgess did not understand
how to decline, so he agreed by default.
They
watched, and in a moment the Nona creature rolled over. "I win,"
Colene sent with another thrill of momentary pleasure. "But I will tell
you everything, the next time." She communicated increasingly in linear
chains of thoughts, which were relatively slow compared to floater contact, but
seemed to be the key to contact between their species. They were linear
creatures throughout, he realized; they applied food to one end of their bodies
and eliminated the residues from the other end, and their thinking was similar.
But as he came to understand this, and attune, his ability to communicate with
Colene improved. Now there were few confusions, and concepts of increasing
complexity were being exchanged.
So he
gave her the information she desired, and in the process found that he was
learning much about her anyway. Every concept she found foreign meant that she
had experience of a different nature, and that helped define her. Indeed, she
could not exchange the full degree of her re-
BURGESS 3!
cent
experience with twenty others of her kind simultaneously, getting current; she
had to "talk" individually with each. Except that she did have an
alternate mechanism: the largest creature, with the four feet on the ground,
was a "horse" who was "telepathic." He was male, and he
could communicate simultaneously with all the others of the group. While in his
presence, the others could draw on his ability, so that they could exchange
information simultaneously. So they were indeed a hive, by this mechanism, and
Burgess could be part of it, if he learned to transmit to the horse without
requiring direct contact with a contact point. All this Burgess learned, in the
process of answering her questions about the nature of floaters, hives, and
individuals.
Communication,
though linear, was becoming so facile that Burgess almost forgot the
strangeness of the situation. He structured his thoughts to be linear, and
paced them, so that though time passed in the transmission, Colene was able to
understand his situation.
His
kind had evolved, according to hive memory, in that same Cambrian explosion she
knew about. This followed the near extirpation of all forms of life, the
greatest of three formidable extinctions. The seas had been left bereft of all
but single-celled life forms, so many new many-celled forms rapidly evolved.
These filled the seas and competed for dominance, and some were winnowed out
while others proliferated. Then the second greatest extinction came about 225
million years ago, wiping out nineteen of twenty life forms. But the survivors
soon bounced back, forming many competent species. Then the third extinction
came, 65 million years ago, again wiping out most life forms. This time the triramous
phylum, which had been established but not dominant, expanded to fill the
vacated niches. From these came the floaters, who foraged on the surface of the
sea, and found it easy to forage also on land. They were just another type on
the sea, but became dominant on land, with many species developing. Most lost
their multiple contact points, specializing in individual hunting and foraging.
But the hivers retained
32 CHAOS MODE
them,
and became more closely cooperative, finding security in close numbers. They
became smarter together, because of heightened communication. They learned to
use the rivers as avenues to reach all parts of the land. By remaining near the
water's edge they succeeded in avoiding predators, who were normally either of the
land or of the water. Then one species learned to change the land to make
better regions for safety at night, and this one flourished.
Burgess
had been an external contact entity. Instead of remaining in close
communication with his own hive, he acted as liaison to foreign hives, so that
the hives could communicate with each other somewhat in the way individuals
within each hive did. Each hive had its own nuances, so that a floater from one
hive could not readily relate to one from another hive. Burgess had to learn to
tolerate and comprehend foreign nuances, and to be able to endure for periods
without being current with his native hive. In this manner he helped coordinate
the activity of the hives, so that they did not congregate in particular regions
and deplete the resources.
But
then he had encountered a hive that had gone bad. He picked up some of the
poison of its nature, and knew that it had to be isolated from contact with
other hives, lest it poison them too. He returned to his own hive and signaled
warning: a series of honks. Then he retreated, knowing that he could never
return, so that he himself would not infect his hive. It was a tragedy, but
there was no alternative.
He was
expected to join the bad hive now, since he could relate to its members and had
nothing further to lose. That hive would not be allowed to contact any other
hive. Any member it sent out would be driven back or killed. But Burgess could
not bring himself to join it, because its poison revolted him. He preferred to
regress into animalism alone, as would inevitably happen without hive contact.
It was a horror, but the alternative was to die
swiftly.
But
when his native hive saw that he was not joining
BURGESS 33
the
poisoned hive, it instituted defensive measures. This was because it feared
that he would try to rejoin it, and thus poison it. So it sought to kill him
before that could happen. Burgess knew that its decision was reasonable; it had
hundreds of members to protect, while he was only one. The single floater
always had to give way to the welfare of the hive. Burgess had attempted to
forage and hunt alone, in a remote section of his home hive's province, but
this was not allowed. Parties were sent out to kill him.
So he
had tried a desperate ploy: he had invoked a Virtual Mode. This was largely a
matter of chance. Few of his kind could even sense the Modes, and none wished
to explore them. But Burgess' experience as a foreign contact person had
prepared him for this yet-more-alien contact. He had tuned in increasingly
well, and when a Virtual Mode had come, he had reached for it, using his mind
and will to secure an anchor in his Mode. Then he had awaited the contact of
whatever creatures inhabited the Virtual Mode with considerable trepidation,
knowing that they were likely to be more alien than anything he had
encountered. But if they happened to be of his kind, they might represent a new
hive, which was not poisoned, and which would not be harmed by his own
infection.
"But
what is this poison?" Colene asked, concerned. "Is it a disease that
will make us die?"
No, it
was not a physical disease. It was a mental one. It was a syndrome known to
infect hives that became too small. Their internal contacts became so intense
that their members lost their tolerance for any foreign floaters at all. Since
it was necessary to share offspring, who went at the outset of their lives to
foreign hives, so that there would not be ingrowing, this was an attitude (hat
could not be allowed to spread, lest the entire species fragment and lose its
dominance. Burgess himself had not succumbed to it, or he would never have been
able to invoke the Virtual Mode. But he had been exposed to it, and that was
enough to make him dangerous. Its nature was insidious, and he
34 CHAOS MODE
might
at any time be overcome by it. So he was banished from the hive.
"Bigotry!"
Colene sent, grasping the poison concept. "Racism. Intolerance. Prejudice.
We have those poisons in our species too!"
They
had it too? What had he floated into? He had hoped to find a hive to which he
could relate without such contamination, so that he would never succumb to it
himself.
"No,
we here on the Virtual Mode don't have it," Colene clarified. "But it
is elsewhere in our species. More prevalent than in yours, I think."
He
relaxed. The aliens had been exposed to the poison, but had not succumbed to
it, which was the same as his own state. They would understand his situation.
So instead of being a problem, it meant that this was after all a hive he could
join. The strangest kind of hive, but not as strange as it had once seemed. The
aliens resembled few-legged animals, but understood the dynamics of hive life.
The reality counted more than the appearance.
"What
about reproduction?" Colene asked, sending a picture of big floaters and
little floaters. "I know you are male and female, because that's the first
thing that registers when we make mental contact, but just how do you do it? Do
you have marriage or life-pairing?"
Burgess
tried to address me matter, because her question implied social aspects that
confused him. Mating within the hive was a straightforward act, and the young
departed for other hives, while the incoming young from other hives were
schooled by the contacts they made with hive members. But it seemed that among
the aliens the concept of self complicated reproduction. Colene seemed not to
accept the idea of young who had no contact with those who had generated them.
Suddenly
there was a crash. Colene jumped up and flashed her ray toward the sound. A
huge pincer appeared above the barricade. It came down by one of the angled
branches, clamped on it, and crunched through the wood.
BURGESS 35
Then it
swept sidewise, knocking other branches out of the way.
It was
a crab, a big one, and their defense was inadequate. The thing was coming right
through the wood, and the mound of dirt did not inhibit it either.
Colene
broke contact and joined the others. Then she returned. "Can you read me,
Burgess?" she asked faintly.
Yes, he
received her.
"Good.
Seqiro's not carrying me, now; I'm doing it on my own. So we can coordinate
like a hive. You too, if you respond to me. To fight this monster. Okay?"
To be
part of a hive again: that was what he wanted most. However it was arranged.
Especially since only hive action could be effective against the crab.
"We
can't stop it head-on," she sent. "But we can attack its weaknesses.
If we know them. Do you know them?"
Burgess
oriented all three mobile eyes on the monster, as it widened its channel
through the rampart. It was slow, but once it got inside, it would have no
difficulty catching each of the aliens in its pincers and crushing them. It
would crunch off Burgess' trunks, rendering him helpless, then consume him at
leisure. It was terrible to behold, but it did have some few weaknesses. The
eyes and the breathing holes. On the plain, by day, hivers would surround the
crab and shoot jets of sand at its eye stalks, forcing them to retract. Then
into its holes, clogging its breathing. That would slow it. Then they would try
to roll large rocks onto it, crushing it. Or simply flee to their hive, where
their rampart of dirt and barrage of stones would dissuade it.
"You're
not that sharp against big crabs," Colene remarked.
That
was true. The armored creatures were formidable. The normal way of dealing with
them was simply to flee them.
"Well,
we can't flee this one. So we'll kill it or drive It away. We're going to blind
it first. You fire dirt at its
36 CHAOS MODE
eyes,
and keep doing it, so Darius can get close with his sword."
Burgess
sucked up dirt and sent a stream of it at the crab. The crab's eye stalks were
small, and hidden behind the giant claw, but the dirt blew in on them. The crab
scuttled to the side, trying to get clear of the dirt, but Burgess kept blowing
it. Colene and Nona were both shining lights so the crab was clear.
Meanwhile
the Darius creature moved right in within reach of the claw, waving a bright
stick. He struck down with that stick, knocking at an eye stalk. The eye flew
off the stalk. Then he chopped at the second stalk.
But the
crab, hurt, scuttled away, and the stick—now Colene's thought clarified that it
was not wood, but metal, with a sharp edge, a crafted weapon—struck the shell,
denting it but doing no real harm. The claw swung around to grab him, but
Colene screamed warning and he dropped to the ground and scrambled away. The
pincers clicked together above him, poorly guided because one eye was gone.
Then
there came a new emotion: fear. It made Burgess want to turn around and flee,
though he had nowhere to go. "Easy, Burgess," Colene sent.
"Seqiro's doing that. Ignore it." She removed her hand-appendage from
his contact point, and abruptly the fear was gone. Then she touched him again,
and it was back. "See? It's on our side. I'm feeling it, so you are too,
when I'm in contact with you. But I understand it, so I can resist it. For a
while."
He
tried to tune it out, and it diminished though Colene's contact remained. What
a strange weapon!
The
crab turned around and barged back out of the enclosure. Burgess understood
why: it felt the fear too, and thought it was its own. The attack-thought of
the alien hive had driven it away.
Darius
and Nona went to work repairing the damage to the wall, while Colene remained
with Burgess, shining the light ray for them. Seqiro merely stood, still
sending the
BURGESS 37
fear to
the crab. He was able to do it without touching any contact points!
"Well,
we won that one," Colene sent. "But I think we'd better get out of
here, first thing in the morning, and find some place we can defend better. The
next monster may not scare as easy."
Burgess
agreed. However, there was still time before dawn, and they would have to wait
until then to travel.
"We
can not relax," Darius said. "The moment Seqiro eases up, the crab
will turn around and come back here."
"Oops,"
Colene said. "Is that true, horseface?"
For the
first time Burgess was aware of the four-footed alien's thought: It is true. I
must not sleep. There was a qualitative difference to it.
"What
about when day comes?" Nona asked. "Will the crab retire then?"
No. The
crab was aware of prey, and would keep pursuing it, regardless of injuries, as
long as the crab remained hungry. It was not a thinking creature.
"Then
we aren't going to be able to sleep again, after this," Colene sent.
"We'd all better stay alert, to make sure Seqiro does. But we can use the
time to talk. Now I'll answer your questions about me, Burgess."
Burgess
was satisfied with that. Where did she come from, and in what ways did her
world differ from his, and how had she come to know about the ancient shale?
What was the significance of reproducing, among her kind? What had brought her
and her companions to the Virtual Mode? Where were they going? Why had they so
suddenly fled the Virtual Mode, after going there with him? Why was it easier
to understand her than it was the others?
Colene
sent the laughter emotion, which was odd against the background of the fear the
horse was still sending. "You want to know everything all at once, don't
you! Well, we'll answer you, but it will be better if I show you how it was
with me before I ever learned of the Virtual
38 CHAOS MODE
Mode.
Then you can pick up on the background, and maybe catch on to how we think.
Hang on while I tell you about my crush on Amos."
Her
emotional squeeze on something termed an Amos? This was not necessarily going
to be easy to grasp.
—
CHAPTER 3
CRUSH
AS she
spoke, focusing her thoughts, sharing her memory-experience with the others via
Seqiro's telepathy and with Burgess via her hand on his contact knob, Colene
pictured herself as she had been barely seven months before, at school's Spring
Break. Oklahoma, America, Earth: a world and a lifetime away!
Only
three months before that time, during the Christmas holiday, she had gone
innocently on a date with a boy she had not known well enough, and gotten
herself educated in an adult fashion by four of them. She had learned way too
much about alcohol and sex, and finished the night thoroughly sick of both. She
hadn't told her folks, but the boys had talked, so that her reputation was
sliding. Thirteen years old, in the eighth grade, and already she was a known
slut, at least among those who kept track. She was still trying to sort out her
feelings on the matter, uncertain whether to shut the whole thing out of her
awareness forever, or to commit suicide. As time passed, she was coming to
favor both courses. At such time as she figured out suitable means to
accomplish them.
However,
the teachers knew nothing about it, and no one was about to tell them. The best
teacher was a completely ignorant teacher, with respect to real concerns. That
40 CHAOS MODE
made it
easy to get along in class. Colene was adept at the art of conforming in
nonessentia! ways, so as to conceal the essentials from irrelevant eyes.
On
another plane of her existence, she had normal feelings. Her romantic life was
abysmal, and not just because of her reputation. Nothing was as gawky and
unwholesome as an eighth-grade boy, and the ninth graders weren't much better,
and she was not about to trust a high school boy again. But Amos Forell was
another matter. He was her science teacher, marvelously handsome, authoritative
and mature, and he knew everything. Maybe he could tell her whether hypnotism
could enable a person to seal off part of her mind. Maybe he could tell her of
the most convenient, painless, sanitary way to die. More important, maybe he
would.
The
more she thought about it, the better she liked the notion of asking him. But
she couldn't just blurt it out. She would have to be indirect. How could she
get herself into a situation in which she could get the information she wanted,
without arousing his suspicion? Because even the nice teachers were part of the
administrative conspiracy, bound to blab anything private they learned, causing
endless mischief.
Somewhere
along the way, as she considered Forell, he became Amos in her mind, and she
realized that she had a crush on him. This was girlishly foolish, of course; he
was a married man, and distressingly straight. There were stories about certain
male teachers who gave better grades to physically mature girls who sat up
front in short skirts, especially if they forgot to keep their knees together,
but Amos was clean. Either he had no interest, or he was highly disciplined.
This was known, because one especially well-developed girl had an absolute
flair for stupidity in science, and she had put on a show that should have
melted his horn-rims. He had merely murmured in her ear, as he returned her F
paper, mat perhaps she would be more comfortable in slacks. She had turned on
him her loveliest do-what-you-will-with-me wide-eyed stare. Prompted by that,
he had explained that perhaps the drafty air-
CRUSH 41
conditioning
was distracting her from her classwork. So much for seduction; he had noticed
her exposure and demonstrated his immunity. That earned him points.
Of
course that didn't stop the girls from trying. Some who didn't need better
grades considered it a challenge. Amos never missed a beat; he was the perfect
science teacher, ardent about the wonders of his subject, and his grades showed
no sign of deviance. No one could figure it out. Was he a closet gay? Then how
to account for his wife and two children? Exactly what was his game?
Then
Colene deciphered it: he was a contrarian! He scored by pretending not to
notice. That way, not only was he technically innocent, he got more and deeper
glimpses than would ever otherwise have been offered. What a scheme! He was
smart about more than science. She liked that. So she didn't blab his secret.
In fact, maybe that secret was what had tipped her into her typical teen crush.
It would pass in about two months—they always did—but it added urgency to her
quest. She had to get a chance to ask him her questions while she remained
smitten, because the experience would be so much more meaningful then.
Then
her opportunity came: Spring Break. Students could get spot bonus points by
coming in on one of the off days to help the teachers clean up, so she signed
up for work on the science lab. She was in luck: no one else signed. She was
alone with Amos for four solid hours. He would even have to drive her home,
after; it was part of the deal, because the school didn't want to get sued for
putting innocent students out on the street when the crossing guards weren't on
duty, and maybe fostering an accident. The administration didn't care if it
lost a student, of course, but lawsuits were expensive.
She was
careful about it: she wore a skirt that came down well below her knees, and a
blouse that was fully opaque, and no makeup or fancy hairdo. She was there to
get the work done, and she looked exactly the part. Two could play the
contrarian game; she would make her im-pression on him by seeming not to be
trying. Her skirt and blouse, though decorous, were quite well fitted, and much
42 CHAOS MODE
depended
on the positions a girl had to assume in order to clean under counters or to
pick up lab equipment. She didn't have as much body as she could have wished
for, but the decorous clothing helped there, accenting implication rather than exposure.
She was innocuous and naively attractive, she hoped.
And she
did work. She made a point of throwing herself into it, doing the best job she
could. When there was something to be moved, she tackled it immediately, so
that if it was heavy he had to jump to help before she strained some innocent
little bone or tendon. Even so, she managed to work into some legitimate
heaving of bosom with the effort of the work. She had tied her hair back, but
soon it worked its way loose and flopped around her face exactly as she had
intended. She was the epitome of the enthusiastic, hardworking, guileless,
innocently sexy, sweet little
giit
What
did she get for her effort? Not what she had hoped. Amos was a creature of his
profession, and he loved his subject. He maintained a constant monologue about
the things they were handling, as if it were just another class. He never
seemed to look at her; she was nothing next to Science. She was a mere audience
for his true passion.
So as
they cleaned and put away the astronomy charts she suffered through an
extemporaneous lecture on the nature of the universe, and how fascinating it
was to see the cracks developing in the Big Bang theory. "I was an
advocate of the Steady State theory," he said—god only knew what that was,
and she knew better than to inquire. "There was such an elegance to it,
both mathematically and philosophically. But as our observations improved, we
discovered that the universe conformed to the Big Bang theory, seeming to be a
monstrous explosion of matter and energy perhaps fifteen billion years ago. The
question became whether it was open or closed—that is, whether it would expand
forever, or whether there was enough matter to enable gravity eventually to
halt its expansion and draw it back together. I supported the closed model, but
it seemed
CRUSH 43
that
there was not enough matter in the universe to achieve closure. However, then
came the indications of dark matter—"
Colene
found herself getting interested despite herself. She had heard of dark matter.
It appealed to her sense of the morbid: the idea that the universe was
dominated by unseen force. That there was no way to detect the great majority
of the matter that existed, except for its gravitational effect. She wished she
could invent a telescope that could see dark matter. Maybe it would form the
shape of giant animals in space, chasing one another. Maybe Earth and the Solar
System and the Milky Way Galaxy were all just fuzz on the tip of a hair growing
from a wart on the nose of a Dark Matter Monster.
"So
it seems there is enough matter to close the universe," Amos concluded
with satisfaction. "We can't see it, but we do know it's there, and that's
what counts." He glanced at her. "Am I boring you?"
"Never,"
she said immediately. Indeed he wasn't, because she was helping him roll the
big astronomy charts so they could be fitted into their casings, and in the
process their heads got almost close enough for a kiss. She was developing this
fantasy of him glancing up, meeting her gaze, so close to his face, losing
control and pressing his lips to hers and then being terribly apologetic and
embarrassed and out of sorts until she had to calm him by kissing him again.
'But it's wrong/ he would protest. 'You're only a student and I'm a married
man.' And she would say 'There is no wrong in love,' and smile, and kiss him
once more. 'But an eighth-grade girl—' 'That's all right, Amos; I've had
experience.'
That
popped her out of it. Indeed she had had experience—of exactly the wrong kind.
She could never be innocent again. She was unclean, unvirginal, undesirable.
Damn those freaks! They had left her a mere shell of appearance with the core
debased, like an oak tree with a rotten heart. Her thrill of first love had
been gutted before it flowered. Seduce Amos? If he knew her nature, he would be
disgusted.
44 CHAOS MODE
They
moved on to the meteorology charts, and Amos was off again, discoursing avidly
about the patterns of weather across the world. He smiled briefly as he
remarked on the ignorance of students who supposed that meteorology was the
study of meteors. Then on to seasonal patterns, and the significance of El
Nino, which was a global effect.
Suppose
she got involved in moving a heavy prop, and it snagged on her blouse, and tore
it open, and Amos saw her bra? No, scratch that; she simply didn't yet have
enough bra-filler. So suppose she had to sit on the floor, spread-legged, to
wrestle something into place, and he was helping her, and he got a really close
look up under her skirt, and—no, scratch that too; he was immune to bare
thighs. He had demonstrated that for years.
So how
could she get his attention? There was only one way: by engaging his intellect.
That was after all his most appealing feature. So she would have to start
really paying attention, and maybe arrange to say something that made him
realize that she wasn't just another anonymous classroom face, she was a person
with a mind. His first love was obviously science, and so hers would have to be
too. Meanwhile she hummed "Why Was I Born Too Late?" to herself as
she worked.
Now
they were working on assorted fossils of sea creatures. They were inherently
dull, even loathsome, being like squished bugs. "Ah, the trilobites,"
Amos said with satisfaction. "Perhaps the success story of the Paleozoic
era. Isn't this a beauty!" He held up a fossil of what looked like the
granddaddy of multi-legged under-the-rock creepers. 'This phylum of arthropods
didn't disappear until the extinction that ended the era. That means they
endured for close to two hundred and fifty million years. The dinosaurs were
pikers. Of course then the dinosaurs faced their own extinction at the end of
the Mesozoic, ushering in the Age of Mammals, misnomer which that is."
Colene
was getting interested again. Extinctions were wholesale dyings, and she had
been pondering death increasingly, since the rape. Was it a way out?
CRUSH 45
But she
wasn't quite ready to bring up the subject of death yet. She preferred to come
at it obliquely, so that he never caught on to her real interest in it. So she
addressed a secondary curiosity. "The Age of Mammals is a misnomer?"
Misnomer was one of those four-bit words teachers liked to use; it meant that
the name was wrong. One of the ways to nail down a good grade was to spot such
words early, and get them right.
"Of
course," he said happily. "The arthropods remain the most diverse and
prolific phylum today, with about eighty percent of ail species."
"Ick!"
Colene said, dismayed. "You mean spiders and flies and beetles?"
"And
the crustaceans," he agreed. "But even if you limit it to the
chordates, even to the vertebrates, the fishes are the most diverse in the sea,
and the birds on land. We might as well call it the Age of Aves."
Now to
slide in slantwise to the subject of death. "And it was the reptiles,
until that last big extinction. What killed them?"
He
smiled. He really seemed to appreciate her interest. Probably it was rare for
any student ever to evince interest if there wasn't a grade on the line.
"That remains a matter of conjecture. Actually that wasn't the greatest of
the extinctions. The one at the end of the Paleozoic was, with about ninety-six
per cent of all species disappearing. Possibly the one at the end of the
Precambrian era, five hundred and seventy million years ago, was worse, but we
can't know because the fossil record is insufficient. There did seem to be
multi-celled life forms then, none of which survived; life had to rediscover
that after the extinction. That ushered in the Cambrian explosion."
"Explosion?
Somebody set off a bomb?" She smiled to show that she wasn't really that
dumb, just in case he should forget. Also, it was an excellent excuse to smile
at him.
He
returned the smile, and she felt like melting. "Figurative, Colene. New
species appeared so suddenly that it seems like an explosive radiation. Most
didn't survive, but
46 CHAOS MODE
for a
while there was an unparalleled diversity of types. We learn that from the
Burgess Shale, There were more fundamentally different types of creature then
than now, perhaps. We think it was because the seas of the world were empty of
multi-cellular life, so there was for a time completely free diversification.
Then the process of selection took hold, and many promising species were
winnowed out. It's too bad; there were some really intriguing varieties, like
none known ever since."
"You
mean like BEMs—bug-eyed monsters?"
"Yes,
though most of these were small compared to the monsters of today. Many were a
fraction of an inch long. But strange. Here, look at Marrella." He brought
out a picture.
Colene
looked. It was a weird bug with long horns extending across its back and sides,
and too many legs to count, and two different sets of feeler-antenna reaching
out in front. "Yuck! That's the ugliest centipede I ever saw!"
"But
a lovely unique arthropod," he said. "Some eighty percent of the
fossils found in the Burgess Shale were of this creature, so it was highly
successful in its time. As you can see, it is also quite sophisticated in
physical detail, not clumsy or primitive as we might have expected. Note that
it is biramous."
"It's
what?" This time he had lost her, but she forgave him that.
"Let
me explain," he said, almost radiating pleasure at the prospect. 'The term
means that each leg is divided. One part may be used for walking, in the way we
consider normal. The other may be a gill." He grabbed a pencil and made a
sketch. "Each segment thus has two appendages, and each appendage has two
parts."
"That
looks almost like a little man with wings," she remarked.
"A
cute analogy. Early arthropods tended to be this way. But those upper ones are
gills. So you might say that Marrella breathed with its legs."
She
laughed, not even having to force it. "What a weird way to do it!"
CRUSH 47
"But
many species lost their biramous features, and became uniramous," he said.
"Just one part to each leg, as is the case with us. I sometimes wonder
what a modern biramous creature would be like, if it had evolved and come onto
land with the rest of us. Of course we'll never know, but it's an amusing
fantasy."
"Yeah.
Maybe even triramous, or quadriramous."
He
shook his head. "Three or four divisions to each appendage? I really don't
know what a creature would do with such a structure. I suspect it would be
unwieldy."
"Yeah.
Fancy two of them trying to make love. He gets his trirames tangled up with her
birames."
This
time he laughed. "What an image! But I doubt that they copulated in any
such manner. The arthropods are more apt to do it tail-to-tail."
Almost
before she knew it, she had spoken words she shouldn't have. "No rapes
among them?"
He
glanced sharply at her. "What is your interest in such a subject?"
"Oh,
nothing," she lied quickly, flustered. "Just foolish curiosity."
She hoped she wasn't blushing.
He
shrugged. "Rape is known among animals, and in some species it's the rule.
One has only to watch the way of a rooster with hens in a barnyard to
appreciate that. But normally copulation is voluntary on both sides, except
that pheromones can make it involuntary. So perhaps it's a matter of
opinion."
Colene
looked at another picture, not really interested in it, but hoping to guide the
subject safely away from the danger zone. "What's this—a cutaway view of
the interior of a BEM airliner?"
He had
to smile again. 'That is Sarotrocercus, a tiny Burgess Shale arthropod. It swam
on its back, and those 'airplane seats' are its gill branches, which we suspect
it used for swimming. So if you are amused by legs used for breathing, now you
can be further amused by gills used for swimming. These creatures had then- own
ways. But if you want to see real novelty, let me show you some of the
48 CHAOS MODE
others."
He sorted through the pictures. "Here is Wiwaxia. What does it look like
to you?"
"A
spiked barbarian helmet," she replied promptly, "And here is
Anomalocaris, a huge Cambrian predator, over a foot long." He paused, but
Colene did not laugh; she knew that these creatures were small. "It
probably swam in the fashion of a manta ray, undulating through the water, a
fearsome sight. Note the vicious feeding appendages, and the circular mouth
orifice. It probably acted like a nutcracker, crushing the bodies of its
prey."
Colene
was getting into it again. "That's related to the
lobsters?"
"Not
at all. It's no arthropod; it's in a phylum of its own. Nothing like it exists
today. One of the abiding curiosities of the panorama of life shown by the Burgess
Shale is that the most successful creatures of that time disappeared without
trace, while comparatively minor lines like the chordates survived to prosper.
The chordates, of course, were the ones who later gave rise to the fishes,
amphibians, reptiles, birds, and mammals. So the mystery is not so much what
caused the extinctions—meteor strikes and global changes of weather can account
for them—but why certain obscure species survived. I have pondered that
often."
Colene
hadn't thought of it that way. "You mean it wasn't survival of the
fittest? I mean, mammals made it through because they're better adapted than
the reptiles, even the big dinosaurs, being warm-blooded and all. It wasn't
that way back in the Cambrian?"
"It
wasn't that way with the dinosaurs either," he said. 'They may have been
warm-bodied too, and there is every indication that they would have carried on
to this day if it hadn't been for a stroke of bad luck. The climate was
changing, true, and species of reptiles were declining—but other species were
maintaining their vigor. When the meteor came, it was their ill fortune to be
large."
"Huh?"
He had caught her by surprise. He was fairly good at that, which she liked.
"We
have analyzed it every which way, and the main
CRUSH 49
thing
the survivors had in common, through the several extinctions, was their size.
They were small. Perhaps they were able to hide in crevices, whether of the
land or the sea, until the horror faded. But the big creatures could not hide,
so they died. It may indeed be that simple."
"Gee.
Then if there's another extinction, wiping us out, maybe the roaches will
survive to rule the earth."
"That,"
he said seriously, "is no joke. They are even resistant to radiation, and
highly adaptable to changing conditions, whether physical or chemical. The
roaches are survivors."
"Let's
look at more pictures," Colene said wryly.
"Are
you trying to distract me from the job at hand?" he asked, with mock
severity.
"You
don't think I could actually be interested?"
He
shook his head. "I always hope a student will be eager for knowledge. I am
usually disappointed. Certainly you are interested in something, but I'm not
sure it's Cambrian fauna."
Ouch!
"Do I get a bonus grade for good work here?"
"Colene,
you are already making A's."
"Well,
I do have a couple of things I want to know. But I don't know if I want to ask
them."
"Such
as whether I really grade classroom legs?"
She
paused, astonished. He knew about that story? "That, too," she agreed.
"Will
you promise not to tell?"
She
crossed her forearms against her chest in a cute little-girl gesture.
"Cross my heart."
"I
do appreciate what is shown, but I don't grade by it. I never forget that I am
a happily married man and that these are adolescents. I am just as glad I'm not
teaching at the twelfth-grade level, however."
He had
given her a straight answer! He had admitted that he noticed. "I wish I
hadn't promised," she said, making a lugubrious face.
"I
was glad to see that you are more sensible," he said. "You are
properly dressed, and you are working well. It's a real pleasure to have a
bright student volunteer. If it is
50 CHAOS MODE
information
you wish, I shall be happy to answer your questions to the best of my
ability."
There
was her opening. But to ask, she would have to reveal her secret concerns, and
she wasn't sure she was ready.
Amos
did not push her. That was one of the nice things about him. He was generally
willing to live and let live. He displayed another picture. "What does
this resemble?"
"A
daisy on a Q-Tip?"
"Or
a goblet on a thin stem. An inch long, in all. It is Dinomischus, a creature of
another bygone phylum. See those two holes in the center of what you think of
as the flower? Those are its mouth and anus."
"Side
by side!" she exclaimed, wrinkling her nose. "I'd hate to share its
meals."
"And
here is the prize: the strangest creature of all. Hallucigenia."
"You're
kidding! Nothing's called that! Scientists are
too
stodgy."
"Not
always. This has seven pairs of stilt legs, and seven wormlike tentacles on top
with tiny pincers. With what may be a bulbous head at one end, and a hollow
tail at the other. How do you suppose it foraged?"
Colene
squinted at it. "This is a phylum all to itself?"
"Surely
so."
"So
there's no guarantee that it operates any way close to the way we think it
should?"
"None."
"I
don't see how it could walk very well. No joints. It sure wouldn't move very
fast. And what would the tentacles catch, slow-motion?" She pondered.
"You know, this thing just doesn't make a lot of sense to me, as a
standalone creature. Could it be maybe part of some other creature, and the
head's not a head but the stump where it broke off?"
"Beautiful!"
Amos exclaimed. He put his arm around her shoulders, hugging her. "In one
brilliant intuitive flash you have caught up with contemporary conjecture!
That's exactly what has been speculated."
CRUSH 5)
"Gee,"
she said, pleased.
Then he
froze, realizing what he had done. He had touched a student! He quickly dropped
his arm. "Oh, I'm sorry. I—"
"That's
all right," she said. "I've got a crush on you anyway." How
delightfully similar that was to her fantasy!
"Oh,
no! That was why you volunteered to work?"
"That,
too," she agreed, grinning. "May I tell?"
He
realized that he had not transgressed. She had merely scored a point.
"What, and ruin my reputation?"
She
grew bold. "Aw, they wouldn't believe me anyway. Will you touch me again
if I promise not to tell?"
"Absolutely
not."
He was
back in Teacher Mode. "Then I guess we'd better get the rest of the work
done."
They
resumed the cleanup. But there was now a certain camaraderie between them.
Colene had indeed gotten part of what she wanted: closeness and recognition.
She found herself humming 'To Know Him Is to Love Him."
"What
did you come here for, Colene?" he asked after a moment.
"Will
you promise not to tell?"
He
imitated her prior gesture, crossing his forearms over his chest. "Cross
my sternum."
"No,
I mean really. No private reports, no nothing to nobody. No quiet activity for
my own good. You just pretend you never heard it at all."
He gave
her an appraising glance. "It's that serious?"
"Maybe."
"I
confess you have aroused my curiosity. I undertake to maintain complete
confidence."
That
was adult for a promise of silence. He was a teacher, but she decided to trust
him, this far. "I have two questions, but maybe they'll get me in
trouble."
"As
I said, I will answer to the best of my ability."
'The
first question is whether hypnotism would help me -forget something I want to
forget." {&•• "That
perhaps depends on what you want to forget." He |fj»iised, but she did not
fill in the information. "Hypnotism
52 CHAOS MODE
resembles
a state of intense concentration; in fact the brain waves of the two states may
be indistinguishable. So my guess is that if it is anything of consequence, if
concentration won't do it, neither will hypnotism. Also, you might have to tell
the hypnotist what it was you wanted to forget."
"Scratch
that, then. My second question is, what is the safest, cleanest, pleasantest
way to die?" He canted his head. "You are serious?" "Yeh.
Remember, you won't tell." "I already regret that commitment. But
before I answer, I must know one thing: are you thinking of someone else's
death, or your own?"
"Oh,
I'm no killer!" she protested. "And not even suicidal, really, maybe.
I just want to know, in case."
"If
I told you how to take your life, and you did it, I would not only be deeply
disturbed by your loss, I would be accessory to the crime."
He had
a point. "Well, could you maybe just sort of point me in the direction of
where I could find the answer, without anyone knowing?"
"I'm
not sure. Colene, you're a bright, seemingly well-balanced, and I must say
pretty girl. If anything—" He paused again, but again she stonewalled it,
making no response. "I might just mention that there's a book in my desk,
titled Final Exit, published by an organization called the Hemlock Society. You
know the significance of hemlock?"
"It's
what they made that Greek philosopher drink." "Socrates. I believe
that book is buried under some papers, and it would be a while before I missed
it, if someone borrowed it. However, if anyone were to see a girl like you
reading a book like that—"
"Discretion
can be my middle name, when I choose." They continued working, drawing
near the end of the job. Amos, perhaps trying to restore some semblance of normalcy,
resumed his discussion of paleontology. "The reclassification of the
creatures found in the Burgess Shale forced a reinterpretation of evolutionary
theory itself.
CRUSH 53
Originally
discovered by Charles Walcott, perhaps the greatest paleontologist of his day,
they were considered to be an oddity. He more or less shoehorned them into
familiar classifications. This was because the standard model of evolution
described early creatures as few and primitive, becoming more varied and complex
as time progressed. Thus the greatest diversity and complexity of life should
be today, with all prior ages less so. But there is more fundamental diversity
of life forms in the Burgess Shale than in all the seas today—and we don't even
know what creatures weren't recorded there. We conjecture that most of the
creatures lived in shallow water at the base of a sea cliff, in the accumulated
mud and sand there. Then that material abruptly slid off a lower cliff and sank
into much deeper water, where there was no oxygen. That killed the creatures,
and preserved them flattened but almost intact, their soft parts fossilized. It
was a bad break for them, but a great break for us, because otherwise we would
not have known that most of them existed. But they were from the earliest time
of multi-cellular life, and therefore were supposed to be primitive. In fact
they are extremely diversified and sophisticated. When these fossils were
reclassified and correctly placed, it became apparent that they simply did not
fit the standard pattern." He paused. "I don't mean to lecture. Stop
me, if—"
"No,
I'm interested," Colene said. "Now." And she was, because the
weird creatures had captured her fancy. She wanted to know more about them, and
their significance. They were coming alive for her, in their fashion, there in
that ancient mud.
"We
now conclude that evolution, instead of being a constantly expanding cone of
diversity and complexity, is actually a process of explosive radiation and
subsequent winnowing out. That is, a great many types of creatures appear
early, trying every ecological niche, and then com-petition eliminates many of
them, leaving relatively few naajor trunks. These may in turn radiate and be
winnowed. the most surprising and uncomfortable message of the gess Shale is
that this winnowing process appears to be
54 CHAOS MODE
largely
random. The fittest, by any measure we conceive, do not necessarily prevail.
The most successful creatures of the Cambrian period did not survive, while
some of the least promising endured to form the greatest arrays of creatures in
ensuing eras. How can we account for this? Only by saying either that we hardly
understand the true criteria for long-term survival, or that they were
lucky."
"Lucky!"
He
nodded. "It is true. We can not claim that mankind is the absolute summit
of an inevitable evolution. Our dominance may have been the result of pure
chance. The large extinctions, especially—our ancestors may just have happened
to be in a spot that was shielded from the worst of the effects, so scraped
through while less lucky species took the fatal brunt. If it were to be run
through again, the chances are that our kind would never have arisen. It's a
humbling thought: that chance, more than anything else, accounts for us."
That
was an awesome thought. "Pure chance—and I might never have existed."
"As
we now see it. Some scientists object, of course. But the evidence of the
Burgess Shale is persuasive."
Colene
thought about it: how she might so readily never have existed. The notion had
tremendous appeal—and was simultaneously frightening. Was there after all any
point at all to living?
Suddenly
all her swirling thoughts, past and present, coalesced into unbearable grief.
She burst into tears.
In a
moment she found herself sitting in Amos' office chair, and he was handing her
tissues from a box so that she could mop her face. "I'm s-sorry," she
said, trying to get control. "It's nothing you did, Mr. Forell. I just—I
don't know."
"Call
me Amos," he said. "And don't tell."
She had
to laugh through her tears. "Thanks, Amos. It's just that nonexistence—it
gets to me."
"So
I gather. Colene, it is evident that you have more on your mind than incidental
chores. I have promised not to
CRUSH 55
betray
your secret, whatever it may be. I am beginning to suspect what it is, but I
would rather have you tell me."
"I
was raped!" she blurted out. "I was such a fool! I went on a date
with this high school boy, and I was sort of flattered he had asked me, and he
took me to an apartment, and there were three others, and I had a drink, and
then another, and I don't know how many, and then — it disgusts me, so, but I
can't ever quite wash it out, and I don't know what to do." She mopped her
face again.
"When?"
he asked, and indeed he seemed unsurprised.
"Last
Christmas. Three months ago. I guess I really asked for it, because — "
"Who?"
She
snapped to. "I can't tell you that, Amos! 'Cause I know you'll have to 'do
something, and you promised — "
"I
promised," he agreed tightly. "I'm sorry I did, but I did. Very well,
no names. You didn't report it?"
"I
didn't know how. Besides, I was so ashamed. I mean, I walked right into it! I
should have known — "
"Certainty
is easy in retrospect," he said firmly. "If we all could see ahead as
readily as we do behind, we'd never make any mistakes. Consider yourself
foolish if you ever walk into such a situation again. But not for your past
judgment. You trusted your date to be honorable, and he betrayed that trust.
The fault was his. It is obvious that he set you up for it, by getting you to
the apartment, then by plying you with alcohol so as to muddle your judgment
and resistance. Even then, he used force. You were the victim of a carefully
laid trap. You have grounds for outrage, but not for shame. You didn't ask for
it; you were chosen for your naivete. It happens to young girls, too often.
They are even encouraged to blame themselves, as if they have sinned. So that
they don't report it."
"You
mean — it's a regular thing? It happens to other
"It
does. Because they are what they are: inexperienced
trusting.
I suspect that some of your classmates have
ered
similarly. I see the signs in them. But I must say
56 CHAOS MODE
you
fooled me; I never suspected. You have remarkable poise in adversity,
Colene."
"Gee."
She was really flattered by his compliment. "So if you don't want to turn
them in, that's your decision. I won't push you, on that; it's not an easy
route. But don't blame yourself to the point of becoming suicidal, when you
were guilty only of innocence. I can't tell you to feel good about it, but you
have to understand that you were the victim, not the perpetrator, and that it
is wrong to blame yourself."
"You
mean it?" It had never occurred to her that she might not be guilty.
"I
mean it. Do what you must, but don't accept the blame."
"Gee,"
she said again, feeling a deep relief. Then she lurched up and planted a kiss
on his mouth.
She
sank back onto the chair. Then she realized that he hadn't dodged back, as he
could have. He had accepted the kiss, pretending to be caught by surprise. He
winked. "Promise not to tell." "Promise," she agreed.
They
closed up the lab, and he took her home. She felt a whole lot better. Only as
she watched his car drive away did she realize that she had forgotten to borrow
the death-book. But perhaps it didn't matter. She no longer wanted to die.
Amos
didn't tell, and neither did Colene. They treated each other with almost complete
indifference in class, both knowing how to keep a secret. She made an A in
science the next semester, but knew she had earned it. Her crush faded, but she
retained considerable respect for the man. He was a straight player.
Her
suicidal inclination had been beaten back, but as her crush departed, her
depression returned. She started scratching her wrists and watching the blood
flow. So she hadn't really accomplished anything by her encounter with Amos,
but she didn't regret it. As far as she knew, no student had ever kissed him.
She probably held the record, as far as making an impression on him went. She
liked him,
CRUSH 57
and
knew he liked her, and perhaps that was the thing that kept the balance
slightly to the side of life instead of death.
In such
manner she had come to appreciate the significance of the Burgess Shale—and now
she was extremely glad of it. Because it enabled her to understand the nature
of this new anchor reality they were in. Thank you, Amos, she thought.
When she
was fourteen, at the depth of her depression, Darius had come from his other
reality, looking for a woman to love and many. That had been Colene's
salvation, because there was nothing left for her in her own reality of
contemporary Earth. Indeed, it turned out that he had come because she was one
of the few people who could be taken from her reality without affecting it—
because she was going to die soon anyway. She had loved him instantly, seeing
in him a man like Amos, only more-so, and he had loved her—until he learned
that she was not only underage by the standard of her culture, she was
depressive. He needed a woman of age and full of joy. She had also doubted him,
thinking that he was imagining his fabulous magical home reality. So they had
parted— and realized that it was too late. All either wanted was the other.
So
Darius had tried to repair things the hard way: by setting up a Virtual Mode,
where there were no restrictions on what could be done in another reality. But
the Virtual Mode was not a direct connection between their two worlds; it was a
reality in itself, set as it were crosswise to the layered other realities. It
was anchored in five realities, to keep it stable as a four-dimensional
temporary entity. Darius had to walk across it to reach Colene's
anchor-reality, crossing other realities at intervals of ten feet, and
everything could change with every invisible boundary. He had a long trek to
undertake.
Colene,
discovering the Virtual Mode from her own an-£y chor, had set out to join him.
She had found the traveling rife with danger. But she had also found Seqiro,
the tele-Ipathic horse, who sought adventure and a girl to love.
58 CHAOS MODE
Colene
loved horses. It was a match made in heaven—or the Virtual Mode.
But when
the two had finally met, they were trapped in one of the other anchor
realities: the DoOon Mode, where the Emperor Ddwing had sought to use them to
enter the Virtual Mode and conquer the other realities. They had barely
escaped, and found themselves in the Julia Mode, with Nona as the new anchor
person. Nona was everything that Colene wished to be: lovely, nice,
full-breasted, magical, and of age. Both Darius and Seqiro liked her. So now
Colene wanted to get man and horse rapidly across the Virtual Mode to Darius'
home reality, before either changed his mind about Colene.
"And
that is where we stand at the moment," Colene concluded. "We'll be
happy to take you along, Burgess. We'd be on our way right now, if that damned
mind predator hadn't zeroed in on me and forced me to get off the Virtual Mode.
But it should lose interest in a few days, and then we'll resume our trek.
We're ordinary folk, like you, just with different bodies and metabolism. By
the time we get back on the Virtual Mode, we should know each other well enough
to be a decent team, so we can handle whatever other surprises it has for us. I
think we'll get along just fine. Just don't try to charm my horse and my man
from me."
Then,
as an afterthought to Nona: "No offense, damsel." Because Colene
liked Nona too, and knew the woman did not wish to be the threat she was to
Colene's future.
CHAPTER
4
ANOMALY
MONA
was amazed. She had had no idea that Colene had such a history. No wonder the
girl had such a complex array of traits. Even in the ambience of mind-sharing
that Seqiro the horse provided, so much was omitted, because it didn't come to
the surface. For example, this was the first time that Colene had spoken
directly of her introduction to Darius and Seqiro.
Colene
was indeed depressive, and she tended to see and express things with almost
painful candor. Though she addressed Nona as if she were a rival for the love
of horse and man, it had been Colene herself who had asked Nona to join them on
the Virtual Mode, instead of vacating her anchor and remaining in her Julia
Mode. And Colene was not an inferior person. She thought her age to be a
liability, but that was only in one particular culture, and in any event she
would outgrow it, inevitably, in time. She thought her appearance was modest,
when she was actually a lovely young woman. She thought she wasn't nice, when
in fact she had qualities Nona envied, such as intelligence, courage, and
generosity. She thought she was in danger of losing the love of Darius to Nona,
but Nona had ; no wish for that sort of relationship witfi a man. In fact, |ahe
had come on the Virtual Mode to escape the need to
60 CHAOS MODE
settle
down, marry, have babies, and lose her magic in her home Mode. Nona wanted
adventure, and when they reached Darius' Mode, Nona hoped to remain on the
Virtual Mode and continue exploring other realities. She hoped Colene would
come to believe that.
By now
dawn was showing, and they had to start moving. They didn't want to sit and
wait for another monstrous crab to attack. They had to get to some place that
was secure from predators, so they could sleep without having crabs move in.
They
consulted with Burgess, with whom Colene had established the best rapport.
Increasingly the creature's thoughts were becoming part of the mind net made by
Seqiro. Burgess was alien, but he seemed to really want to communicate, which
helped. He normally belonged to a hive of his kind, and needed constant
interaction. Now he wanted to interact with them, and this was his right,
because he was this reality's anchor creature. Nona had so recently become part
of the Virtual Mode that she appreciated its novelty and promise, and
understood why any creature would desire it. She also understood the appeal of
joined minds; insecurity faded and confidence increased, because of the
constant support by the others. Five minds were much stronger than one.
Burgess
did not think linearly, but in three-dimensional bursts of information. He was
learning to squeeze it into the form they could comprehend, but Colene still
had to translate. Thus his input seemed like Colene's thoughts, and there was a
slight delay while she organized it. In time that would change, and he would
communicate directly, but it was all right for the interim.
"We
have to stay in the wilderness," Burgess (Colene) said (thought).
"Because the floaters of my hive mean to kill me, and will kill you too,
now that you have associated with me. They govern the plain by day."
Because
he had contacted the poisoned hive, and then not joined it, they thought of him
as a traitor they could not trust. Nona wasn't yet clear on this attitude, but
it probably made sense in terms of their values.
ANOMALY 61
"We
have already experienced their hostility," Darius said. "Fortunately
we can throw rocks farther than they can."
"But
we'll have to pass through their lines," Colene said for herself; there
was a different inflection to her thought, and of course she was also speaking
verbally now.
"They'll
be massed and ready for us, and we'll have to go well within their range.
That's no good; just that blowing sand could blind us."
Nona
agreed. She never wanted to get into one of those sandblasts again. There was
nothing like that on her home world. But of course this was a different world,
in a different reality, where there was no magic. She was constantly running
afoul of that, expecting to shape things by magic, or to fly from one place to
another, or to transform things into the materials or food she needed. She felt
rather helpless, here, and looked forward to their return to the Virtual Mode,
where her magic worked.
But the
mind predator had attacked Colene, forcing them to flee the Virtual Mode.
Colene had mentioned the predator before, because it had attacked her friend
Proves when the two traveled the Virtual Mode. Now Provos had returned to her
own reality, and severed her anchor, so was permanently beyond its reach. So it
was coming after Colene instead. Colene believed that it would give up after a
while as it had with Provos, but this was not certain. So they had reason to
stay off the Virtual Mode for a few days, and then to hope that the predator
was gone.
Unfortunately
the big crab was still lurking; its hungry malevolence was a constant presence,
because Seqiro remained attuned to it, and the rest of them could pick up that
tuning. Worse, the horse was growing mentally tired, because he had been awake
a long time and the continuous broadcasting of the fear was draining him. As
his power weakened, the crab was losing its fear and moving closer. In time
that defense would be gone.
So they
decided to travel deeper into the wilderness, until the hivers lost interest.
They would wait out the hivers Ihe same way as they waited out the mind
predator. They
62 CHAOS MODE
hoped
to find a place where they could finally relax, where there was food and water,
so that they wouldn't have to use their carried supplies. It was always best to
eat at the anchors, Nona understood, because what they ate that came from any
of the worlds of the Virtual Mode would not remain with them. They had to eat
only on an anchor world, or food carried from an anchor world.
But
forging a level path for Burgess to float along was bound to be tedious and
slow, if they had to go any distance. It would have been easier if Nona's magic
worked in this reality, but her ability to relate to a creature as a familiar
was diminished, and none of the rest of her magic seemed to work at all. She
felt helpless.
Then
she saw something scuttle across the remains of the dirt barrier they had made.
It was a multi-legged bug, with long antennae trailing to the sides. It was
small enough to hold in one hand, but moved very quickly.
She had
an idea. "Seqiro, stun me this creature," she said.
The
horse oriented his powerful thought on the creature, for just a moment, and the
bug stopped where it was, stunned. Seqiro had not been able to relate well to
Burgess at first, but had done better as he tuned in, and now contact was good,
if Colene was there to interpret. This bug had a much smaller mind, and was
easier for the horse to overwhelm. As he learned to relate to the minds of
Burgess and the crab, he learned to relate to all the minds of this reality, to
a degree.
Nona
nerved herself, and picked the thing up. It had four bony extensions extending
back from its head that shielded its body; it was by this armor she handled it.
She set it in her other hand and held it close to her face. It seemed to have
about twenty-five pairs of legs, the largest to the front, diminishing to tiny
at the rear. Each leg had six jointed segments. There turned out to be four
antennae: two were very long and smooth and flexible, while the other two were
shorter and furry. Between the legs and the bony shield projections were
weblike lines. What could they be?
ANOMALY 63
Well,
perhaps she could find out. She focused her mind, reaching into the mind of the
bug and seeking to tame it. She hoped to make it a familiar. It was working;
that part of her magic was working. She had doubted, when facing the challenge
of trying to relate to Burgess, but with this smaller-minded creature she was
having no more difficulty than she would have at home with an ordinary bug.
Colene
came over to see what she was doing. "Ooo, ugh!" she said.
"You're holding a fat six-inch-long centipede!"
"I'm
taming it," Nona explained. "It moves very quickly. Perhaps it can
explore the way for us, and warn us of danger ahead."
"Good
idea," Colene agreed. She bent to look more closely. "Say—that's
biramous! See, each segment has a pair of legs and a pair of gills. In fact—in
fact it's Marrella! Or his distant descendant, adapted to land. I'll never
forget that arthropod, after that session with Amos."
"Gills?"
Darius asked, getting interested. "Do they work in air?"
Colene
returned to the floater and touched a contact point. Burgess' thought came:
'The creatures with external gills do use them in air. My gills are protected
under my canopy, drawing nourishment from the air with which I . float.
Marrella does not float, but does use its gills to breathe and to enhance its
travel."
Nona
remembered the discussion of uniramous, bira-maus, and triramous. "It
travels with its gills?"
"It
moves them to enhance the take-up of what you call—" Burgess hesitated,
then continued when another mind supplied the concept. "Oxygen. When it is
in a hurry, this movement of the gills also enables it to be lighter and faster
on its feet. It can not float in the manner I do, but perhaps some millions of
years hence it will evolve to mat degree."
"Gills
becoming wings," Colene murmured, intrigued. "I guess it wasn't just
the triramous line that survived, here; Mary Marrella didn't leave any
descendants in my world."
64 CHAOS MODE
Nona
set Marrella down. "It is my familiar now," she said. "It will
be my antenna, and show me the best route."
"That
would be good, if I could conjure us to the safe spots it locates," Darius
said. "As we did in Julia, your reality. But I can not, here in
Shale."
"And
it would be nice if I could fly, here," Nona agreed. "But my magic is
almost as diminished as yours."
"Sometimes
I feel lucky I don't have magic," Colene said. "At least Seqiro's
talent is full-strength, here, so we can coordinate."
"Yes,"
Nona agreed. "Seqiro helped me get Marrella." She glanced down.
"Go, friend. Spy the way."
Marrella
shot off into the forest, its legs moving at blurring velocity, its gills
buzzing. It scooted over the dirt, stirring up a little cloud, and under twigs
and leaves. Its body armor knocked obstructions out of its way.
It was
not fleeing. It was moving under Nona's direction. It was her familiar, and its
senses served her mind. It had no eyes or ears, but its antennae picked up the
vibrations in the air, and the smells. This provided it with an excellent
awareness of its surroundings, which Nona tried to translate into a mental
picture. But the needs of Marrella and the needs of the party did not match,
and the picture was so foggy as to be useless.
"Maybe
if Seqiro routed Mary's impressions through to Burgess, he could shape them up
for us better," Colene suggested. "Because he understands this
world."
Seqiro
connected Marrella's awareness to Burgess' mind, via Colene's. Burgess had both
hearing and sight, so understood the need. He translated the foggy sound/smell
picture into a clearer sight picture for them all.
Now
Darius and Colene saw the scene as Nona saw it. The ground was passing rapidly
under the fifty-two little feet, and the various smaller bugs, worms, and roots
that Marrella fed on were all around. None of the predators Marrella feared
were close, because Marrella was staying well out of their way. There was a
gentle wind, bringing news of the plants and animals upwind, shaping a picture
of some depth.
ANOMALY 65
There
was a thick tangle of vegetation near the party, but the giant crab had forged
a partial channel through it. Beyond was an aisle formed by a huge tree which
had crashed down and rolled to the side. Beyond that was deeper forest where
the undergrowth was slight. And beyond that was water.
"I
think we've found a way through," Colene said. "We just have to get
Burgess to that aisle, and he'll be fine."
Darius
looked at the crab's trail. 'This is good enough for us to use, but it would
take a lot of work to make it level enough for Burgess."
"Why
make it level? Just carry him over."
Darius
considered. "Pick him up? He must weigh four hundred pounds!" He used
Colene's system of weights.
"You
take one end, Nona and I take the other, and he lightens himself as much as he
can with his air cushion. It'll work, for a few feet. Seqiro can strengthen us
for the occasion, too."
Burgess
was alarmed. "Lift me? This has never been done."
"You
never became an anchor for a Virtual Mode before, either," she reminded
him. "You can keep your canopy stiff enough to bear your weight?"
"I
do this whenever I settle on the ground. My canopy is formed of what in earlier
creatures were legs, with my gills now under my body and my contact points
above. But I have always lifted myself on air."
"Except
that you can't rise more than maybe an inch," Colene said. "We can
heave you up maybe three feet, to get you over that brush and root tangle. Once
you're over, you'll be on level ground again."
Nona
felt Burgess' doubt. She searched for a suitable analogy, and found it: she
would have similar doubt if alien creatures proposed to carry her by her
breasts and knees.
Colene
laughed, "Well, you have better handles than I do!" she said. Then
she had to pause to explain that to Burgess. "We girls don't like to have
our breasts touched,
66 CHAOS MODE
unless
we decide it's okay. Or even other parts of our bodies. But men keep trying to
do it. It's a bad scene."
Burgess
concluded that the aliens understood his situation. He agreed to be carried.
They
rehearsed it with a heavy branch, tramping along the ragged path to the aisle
beyond. They set the branch carefully down. Everything seemed to be in order.
They
approached Burgess. Darius put his hands on two of the floater's front
canopy-scales, and Colene and Nona did the same with the rear scales. They were
bone-hard and smooth, easy enough to grip. But could Darius actually heave up
two hundred pounds, and each woman one hundred?
Then
strength surged through Nona's body. She heaved, and the body came up. The
three of them were perfectly coordinated. They marched in step along the path,
then set Burgess down in the aisle.
Nona's
surge of strength left her as she let go. "What happened?" she asked,
amazed.
"Seqiro
governed us," Colene said. "He can make a person very fast and
strong, for a while, and he made us all act in synchromesh. It's part of his
telepathy. He's used to managing our kind."
"Then
next time we have to fight off any predators, he must do it again," Nona
said, impressed.
"Say!
Good idea."
But
something huge loomed ahead of them, now. "The crab's back!" Darius
cried.
Indeed
it was. The thing looked worse by daylight than it had at night. It had fresh
scars and a missing antenna, but its huge claw remained devastatingly
functional.
"Because
poor Seqiro can't fend it off when he has to concentrate on stunning Mary, or
rerouting Mary's impressions through Burgess, or giving us temporary
strength," Colene said. "Gee, I'm sorry, horsehead; I just tend to
think of you as all-powerful."
For
you, I try, Seqiro answered her in pure thought. But 1 am near the end of my
resource.
Colene
looked at the crab barring their way. "Well,
ANOMALY 67
we've
just got to help you out. Darius, can you advance threateningly on the thing,
while Seqiro gives it a little bit of fear? Maybe the combination will make it
think it's more afraid than it is, and it'll back off again."
Darius
took his axe and strode forward. "Hoo-hah!" he yelled loudly. At that
moment Seqiro sent a terrible jolt of fear that made Nona wince, until she
realized that it was actually Darius' yell that accounted for much of the
effect.
The
crab scuttled back, and in a moment was gone. They heard the noises of its
retreat. The ploy had been effective.
"Now
ease up, Seqiro," Colene said. "Conserve your strength. It should be
a while before the stupid thing realizes that it's not scared any more."
Nona
knew that she herself would not have thought of that device to spare the horse.
She envied Colene's practical sense.
Colene
glanced at her. "I'd trade you for some of your measurements."
"You
would be foolish to do so, and you aren't foolish." Then they both
laughed.
Now
they were on their way. Burgess pumped up his air and floated along the aisle,
and the others followed. Soon they were in the deeper forest, and had no
further difficulty.
Marreila
was waiting at the bank of the lake, hiding under some brush. Nona would never
have been able to find it, if she had not had mental contact.
The
lake itself was wide. It extended to the sides, Burgess indicated, until it
intersected the plains where the hiv-ers lurked, effectively isolating this
section of the wilderness. Burgess knew that the greatest part of the
wilderness lay beyond the lake; they could traverse much of the continent
without leaving it. The crabs were not there, as far as Burgess knew;
apparently they preferred the isolated niches. He floated out on the water,
dipping his intake trunk for a drink.
But how
were they to cross the lake? They could swim, but it was a fair distance, and
Nona hesitated to trust un-
68 CHAOS MODE
known
water. Something else bothered her, and she chased it down, in case it was
important. Then she had it: "The floaters," she said. "Why
aren't they on the water, cutting us off?"
That
triggered a memory in Burgess. "The water predator! We can not cross that
water."
Colene
focused on him. "We have to cross. Burgess. Because Seqiro can't stay
awake forever, fending off the crab. What's with this predator, that the whole
hive stays off this water?"
Burgess
made a picture of a huge, flat swimming creature with tentacles in front, eyes
on the sides, and a circular mouth below. "That's Anomalocaris\n Colene
exclaimed. "What's it doing here in the present?"
"The
same thing Marrella is," Nona said.
Colene
nodded. "So several of those early lines carried through, instead of just
one. Of course they really aren't the same as the Cambrian creatures, any more
than we're the same as the first chordate. But we can see the family
affinities. I'll just bet we don't want to meet up with a modem Anomaly the
size of a horse. No offense, Seqiro."
"We
don't want to swim here, certainly," Darius said. "But if we try to
go around the lake, we'll have to cross a section of the plain. Perhaps if we
wait until night—"
"We'll
have to rest and sleep before then," Colene said. "Seqiro can't go
forever on alert. He feels more crabs lurking already."
"Suppose
we build a raft?" Nona asked. "If we make it solid enough, it should
be proof against attack from the water. Perhaps, also, Seqiro will be able to
send fear to the water predator."
"Worth
a try," Colene agreed. "I'm tired, and I guess everyone else is too,
but maybe we can drag stuff out from the forest and lash together a raft."
Darius
lifted a hand in a no-way gesture. "A raft sufficient to support a horse?
That's an all-day project at least. Ask Seqiro how he'd like to stand on
vine-lashed logs, too. What's good enough footing for a human being may not do
at all for hooves."
ANOMALY 69
Colene
didn't need to; the horse was already sending a strong disaster signal.
"But then what can we make?" Colene asked. 'There must be something.
Something simple, easy, fast, and strong. I hope." But her accompanying
mood was depressive; she knew there was nothing like that available.
There
was a stirring in the forest behind them. There was the crab again. "Okay,
all together, now," Colene said. "On three. One—two—THREE!"
Darius
and Nona joined her in the shout, while Burgess fired a stone at the crab. The
jolt of fear was weaker this time; Nona realized that Seqiro had not been
exaggerating about the exhaustion of his mental resource. He had to get some
rest.
The
crab retreated again, but not as far as before.
"If
only my magic worked, I could make a boat," Nona said. "Just by
transforming material."
Colene
pounced on that. "Some of your magic works, Nona! You made a familiar. So
maybe some of your other magic works, too. Did you try all of it?"
"Yes.
I tried levitation, telekinesis, transformation, shape-changing, and illusion.
The illusion was just a bit of fog, with no control. I haven't tried healing,
because nobody's been hurt, but—"
Colene
held up her left arm. There were scars on her wrist. "See if you can heal
my scars."
That
was a good way to test it, because Nona's magic did work on scars too. She took
the girl's arm in her hands and concentrated. She knew right away that it
wasn't working, but she kept trying, just in case.
Colene
glanced at her wrist. "No good, huh? Too bad. And that's all your
magic?"
"No
it's not," Darius said. "You can change the size of things, too.
Remember how you expanded the size of that dulcimer?"
"Why
so I did!" Nona agreed, remembering. "That's so recent, I had
forgotten." She paused, realizing how odd that sounded. "I mean, it's
magic I didn't know I had, and so I tend still to think I don't. Let me
try."
70 CHAOS MODE
She
picked up a twig of wood and concentrated. In a moment it expanded. It was
working! She continued to focus on it, to be sure that there was no limit to
this aspect of her magic, and it became so large she had to set it down. With
the magic, its mass increased in proportion to its size. Still it grew, until
it was a log, and then a large log, and then a veritable fallen tree trunk.
"You
know something," Colene said. "That could make a barrier to hold back
Crabface, there."
"But
there's plenty of wood here anyway," Nona said, giving up. The trunk did
not shrink; it remained as she had left it.
"Yes,
but your talent should work on other things too," Darius said. "Such
as a model boat."
Of
course! She had overlooked the obvious. Darius was already carving on another
piece of wood. He hollowed it out, then flattened the bottom, and thinned the
sides. Soon he had a tiny flat-bottomed model boat. "Is this
seaworthy?" he inquired.
Colene
laughed. "Better carve a keel on it. And make oars or paddles, so we can
move it across the water. I don't think we're experienced enough to handle a
sail. But maybe we should have a net, too, so we can dip for fish."
Darius
made the keel adjustment, then carved several tiny paddles and poles. He set
them in the boat.
Nona
dug out her handkerchief. "This will make a net, when expanded." She
cut out a tiny swatch of the material, and set it in the boat with the other
artifacts.
Then
she took the model and set it at the edge of the water. She concentrated on
expanding it, and it started to grow. Soon it was large enough for one person
to get into, so she shoved it further into the water. When it was full size, it
might be too heavy for them to move, and she didn't want to have to shrink it
again so they could launch it. How fortunate that this one other aspect of her
magic worked, here.
But she
did wonder about that. In the Julia Mode there was a current of power on which
the magic drew, because no person could provide the enormous energy needed to
ANOMALY 71
do
something like this. Was there a similar power current here in Shale, though
the creatures here did not seem to have magic of their own? If so, why was it
available for only two of her several types of magic? That seemed to suggest
that there was some other factor operating.
"Don't
look a gift horse in the mouth," Colene said, responding to that thought.
Then, again: "No offense, Seqiro," She seemed to like teasing the
horse, and the horse liked her teasing; Nona could feel the currents of good
feeling passing between them. Seqiro shared his mind with everyone, but Colene
was his truest friend.
"There
are sources of power in my reality, too," Darius said. "And some of
my magic worked in Julia, and some did not. The same was true in the DoOon
Mode. There must be natural power flowing through these realities, or perhaps
some trace coming through the anchors, so that parts of our magic are
operative. If we understood more about the Virtual Mode, we might be able to
predict how our abilities would be affected."
"Yes,
Seqiro's telepathy seems to work everywhere," Colene said. "But it
was diminished in Julia. Meanwhile I started to get a little bit of telepathy,
maybe, in DoOon, and more in Julia, so maybe a Mode can enable a person to have
power or magic she doesn't have at home. Maybe the magic current in Julia is
polarized, so it works only one way or the other, while in the other Modes it's
natural, so it's not as strong for Nona but more general." She looked at
the boat, which was now huge. "Anyway, I'm glad Nona hung on to that type
of magic, because it sure makes it easier to cross this lake."
The
crab was approaching again. "Look out, Seqiro!" Nona cried, for the
horse was closest to the crab and facing away.
"Say,"
Colene said. "You're mentally tired, Seqiro, but not physically tired,
right? Suppose you kick the crab in the snoot?"
Tell me
when, the horse replied.
They
watched as the crab came up behind Seqiro, lifting its huge claw to clamp on
the horse's rear. The claw
72 CHAOS MODE
seemed
almost as big as the horse, but this was deceptive, because it was narrow in
cross section.
"Now!"
Colene cried/thought.
Seqiro
kicked hard with both hind feet. One hoof struck the side of the claw, knocking
it away and perhaps cracking it. The crab scuttled back again.
"All
rightr Colene exclaimed happily. "That'll give it something to think about
for a while."
Meanwhile,
the boat continued to grow. At last it was large enough for everything. In
fact, Nona was concerned that they would not be able to move its mass across
the water. She consulted, then reversed her concentration and made it slightly
smaller.
Darius
stepped aboard first. He picked up a paddle. "Ooof!" he exclaimed.
No
wonder! The paddle was monstrous. They would not be able to use such tools
effectively; each one would weigh more than the person wielding it. Darius,
working with a tiny model, had misjudged the scale.
"I
can fix it," Nona said. She stepped onto the boat, put her hand on the
huge paddle, and concentrated. It diminished, until it was of about the right
size. She did the same with the other paddles, and with the poles. She saw that
at this scale they were crudely carved, as was the boat; the magnification
exaggerated everything. But everything was serviceable, which was what counted.
Except for the swatch of handkerchief cloth, which was now like a net fashioned
of ropes. It wouldn't be much good for catching fish.
Colene
led Seqiro onto the boat. Nona was surprised by that, but Colene's thought
clarified it: the horse was attuned to their minds, but tricky things like
stepping over the gunwale onto a shifting deck could be troublesome. So Colene
led him, guiding him, so that her senses rather than his prevailed, and he
handled it without stumbling.
Then it
was Burgess' turn. He floated across the water to the side of the boat; then
Darius got out and stood in the shallow water to lift one side, while Nona and
Colene reached over the gunwale. Seqiro took over their minds,
ANOMALY 73
and
with great strength and perfect coordination they heaved Burgess over and onto
the deck. Burgess pumped air as they let him go, and floated to the rear center
of the craft.
Now
Darius and Nona poled off, and the boat slid into deeper water and floated.
"Uh-oh," Colene said.
Nona
looked. Crevices that had been invisible in the model now showed clearly; they
too had been magnified in proportion. Water was leaking in to flow across the bottom
between the horse and the floater.
"What
we need is a bilge bucket," Darius said.
Nona
set down her pole and fetched a cup from a pack Seqiro carried. She magnified
this until it was the size of a pail. Colene took it and began dipping and tossing.
The leakage was not extreme, and she was able to keep up well enough.
As they
got into deeper water, Darius took up a paddle, and Nona took another. They
stood at opposite sides of the clumsy craft and stroked the water. Slowly the
boat moved forward.
"Well,
we're on our way," Colene said. She glanced at Nona. "What happened
to Mary?"
"Oh,
Marrella? I let it go. It wouldn't be happy across the water. Perhaps I can
tame a new familiar on the other side."
As they
got toward the center, their boat's motion became imperceptible, but they kept
paddling. Unless there was an adverse current, they were surely forging toward
the other shore.
She
looked back. There where they had been was the huge crab, Seqiro had stopped
sending it the fear, and it had evidently discovered that they had been mostly
bluffing it, so it had come after them immediately. But it was a land crab, and
could not pursue them in the lake.
Predatory
presence. That was Seqiro's thought, which Nona preferred to hear as speech
though it really wasn't. There were aspects of danger, concern, warning, and
mystery: something large and-menacing.
'The
big crab?" Colene asked.
74 CHAOS MODE
"No.
In the water."
Then
Nona saw it. A huge flat thing was gliding close. An eye on the head part gazed
at them. She and Darius ceased paddling.
The
Anomalocaris. That was Burgess' thought. The creature did not know what the
boat was, Burgess concluded.
"Well,
let's hope Anomaly doesn't find out," Colene said, pausing in her bilge
bailing.
Nona
stared at the thing. The eye stared back at her. "Do you think our
paddling will disturb it?" she asked.
"If
we don't paddle, we won't get across," Darius said. He put his paddle back
in the water.
Reluctantly,
Nona did the same. The end of her paddle was close to the glistening hide of
the creature. She moved the paddle through the water, stirring up a ripple.
The
creature oriented on the paddle. Suddenly a nose-tentacle hooked onto the
paddle, wrenching it out of Nona's hands. The end of it disappeared under the
Anomaly, and there was a crunching sound. Then fragments of the paddle floated
up around the head.
Darius
studied the situation. "I think we aren't going to get far, poking at this
thing. But if it won't let us paddle, how are we going to get on across the
lake?"
It
would be best not to provoke it. That was Burgess again. It preyed on anything
in or on the water. It was once a bottom feeder, but it had adapted to consume
surface creatures too. Burgess thought it could not harm this craft, but it
could surely harm the living creatures.
Darius
considered further. "Nona, can you grow something big enough to block it
off from us, so we can paddle?"
Nona
reached over the gunwale and caught a floating chip from her former paddle. She
concentrated, and it grew.
But the
lake monster didn't wait. It shoved its nose up over the gunwale. The two
tentacles cast across the deck. Each was segmented, with a spine projecting
from each
ANOMALY 75
segment.
It was evident that these tentacles didn't grasp, they stuck, holding the prey
with many hooked barbs.
"Get
to the far side," Darius said tersely. Nona retreated, with Colene,
standing next to Seqiro and Burgess.
Darius
fetched his axe. He was a handsome man as he stood there facing the monster, in
his green tunic from the Julia Mode, and boots she had made magically for him
before they set out on the Virtual Mode. He was, in the fashion of men,
determined to defend the women and animals against the common threat. There was
something almost quaint about it.
"You
bet," Colene murmured.
Animals?
That was Burgess.
"Companions,"
Nona said quickly.
Nona
continued to make the wood chip grow. But she wasn't sure how to use it to
block off the Anomaly, now that the creature was hooking on to the boat. Maybe
try to get the monster back into the water, and then try to keep the block
floating between it and the boat?
Darius
stepped toward the Anomaly, eyeing its head. But the creature was eyeing him
back. "Oh, I don't like this," Colene murmured. "That's no
lunatic monster; it's aware"
Darius
decided that the eyes would be the best targets. He swung the axe. But as he
did so, the Anomaly moved its head lower, using the leverage of the mass of its
body, and depressed the entire end of the boat so that water slopped over the
gunwale.
Darius,
caught by surprise in midswing, missed. Then the force of the missed swing
pulled him off balance, and his feet slipped as water sloshed over the rim. He
fell on his back. Nona screamed. Her block of wood was now so big that she was
holding it against her chest with both arms, but she still didn't know what to
do with it. She felt supremely ineffective, in the midst of an ongoing
disaster.
The
Anomaly followed up its opportunity instantly. A tentacle slapped across
Darius* left boot. It didn't coil; the spines dug into the mock leather and
held it firmly. Then it curled in toward the head, pulling Darius with it.
76 CHAOS MODE
Darius
sat up and swung his axe at the head. But the tentacle jerked, making him miss
again, and in any event he lacked leverage to make an effective strike.
Now
Nona saw the monster's mouth. It was circular, with bony plates that overlapped
around the center hole. Where were the teeth?
"Pull
your foot out of the boot!" Colene shouted to Darius. "Get away from
that thing!"
Darius,
startled by the obvious, braced his right boot against the tentacle and shoved.
His left foot came out of the boot. He tried to scramble away, crablike, but
was jammed against the gunwale behind him. He couldn't retreat further, and
couldn't move to the side without risking getting snagged by a tentacle again.
The
tentacle drew the boot to the mouth. The mouth irised open. The teeth showed at
last: circular rows of them behind the plates. The tentacle fed the toe of the
boot into the hole. The plates shifted, and the orifice became smaller. The toe
of the boot was constricted.
The
orifice opened again. The toe of the boot was gone. The teeth must have chewed
it off while the nutcracker mouth held it.
Nona
started, horrified, not knowing what to do.
"You
block off its eye with the wood," Colene told her. "I'll get the
axe." Then, to Seqiro: "You make us fast and accurate, when."
Numbly,
Nona did as she was told. The Anomaly terrified her, and she felt naked without
the main part of her magic, but she knew that something had to be done. She
walked forward into the water by the monster's head.
The
tentacle threw the rest of the boot to the side. Evidently the Anomaly had
concluded that it wasn't edible. The two tentacles quivered, ready to snag
something else. Darius was still stuck against the gunwale, holding the axe
defensively.
Then
the horse's mind took over. Nona leaped to the side of the head and jammed her
block of wood right up against the eye, blinding the monster on this side.
Meanwhile Colene swooped down to take the axe from Darius'
ANOMALY 77
hands.
She set herself before the irising mouth and swung the axe with savage force at
the base of one of the tentacles.
But the
Anomaly, with uncanny prescience, flinched away, and the axe struck the
impervious plates of the mouth. The tentacles whipped around and caught the
head of the axe. It was clear that Darius had not been clumsy; the Anomaly had
been apt.
Then
the power left Nona. / am sorry, Seqiro's thought came. / have no more
strength. After that the ambience of his telepathy also faded.
Colene
muttered something, but it was unintelligible. The horse was no longer
translating.
A hand
fell on Nona's shoulder. She jumped, but it was Darius, who was now back on his
feet. He held a knife. He pointed to the block of wood.
"The
eye!" Colene said. "Stab the eye!"
The
girl's own telepathy was coming into play! Nona lowered the block, and Darius
lunged over it, thrusting the knife at the eye.
And yet
again the Anomaly reacted too swiftly for them. It pulled back, sliding into
the water. They had repelled it—but the boat was sloshing with water, and
riding low.
Colene
fetched her bucket and started bailing. Nona looked around for another bucket,
but there was none.
Then
Burgess floated back. He dipped his intrunk in the water, pointed his outtrunk,
and started pumping. The water streamed out.
Colene
stopped and watched. So did the others. This was far more efficient than any
effort they could make. Soon the boat was almost dry again, and riding high.
But the
Anomaly was circling them. It had tried a direct frontal attack and been beaten
off, so it was now more cautious, but it had not yet decided that they were not
prey. This was a creature like the huge crab, with hardly more than one thing
on its mind: hunger. They had barely stopped it, and they remained far from the
shore. What should they do?
78 CHAOS MODE
Nona
looked at Colene. Colene looked at Darius. Nona knew what the girl was
thinking: she wanted Darius to be the leader, though Colene herself, with her
limited power of telepathy, was the most likely leader. Nona had seen Colene in
action in her own reality of Julia, and knew that the girl was a natural
fighter in her fashion. But she loved Darius, so wanted him to lead.
Darius
seemed to come to the same conclusion. But it was evident that he had little
notion how to proceed. He had tried to brace the monster, and Colene had had to
spring to his rescue. He evidently did not feel much like a hero.
Then he
got an idea. He pointed to Burgess, who was finishing up the bailout, leaving
the deck clear. Burgess knew more about Anomaly than they did; he might have
advice.
Colene
nodded. Darius had made the decision; now she could act. She went to Burgess
and put a hand on one of his contact points. Nona could not overhear their
dialogue, but knew that Colene's limited telepathy was getting through.
Unfortunately,
the news seemed to be bad: Burgess had no experience fighting the Anomaly, and
none in boats. All he knew was that the Anomaly would make short work of
Burgess himself, if he tried to float out across the water. Nona could see that
those mouth tentacles could hook on to the floater's canopy, disrupting the
flow of air, and quickly swamp him; then it would be easy to grind him up
piecemeal.
Then
something occurred to Nona. When she flew— Colene called it levitation—she
moved across the land by magically moving some fixed object—Colene called it
telekinesis. Since the object could not move, Nona did; thus she came toward or
away from it, or passed beside it, using its resistance to propel herself. The
process was automatic, and she seldom analyzed it. But now she realized that
when she did this, she was applying what Colene called a scientific rule of
action and reaction. When Nona pulled, either the object came to her or she
came to it.
ANOMALY 79
That
was true whether she pulled magically or physically. So suppose that were done
here: would a person be pulled or pushed the same way?
She
went to her block of wood, which now lay at the end of the boat. She picked it
up and heaved it away from her. She almost fell over. It did seem to push her
the other way!
Darius
looked at her, curious about what she was doing. Nona couldn't explain to him,
with the language barrier, so she went to Colene. She took the girl's free
hand. "Reaction," she said, focusing die thought.
"Yes,"
Colene replied, understanding the concept. "So what?"
"Burgess—throw
water—reaction—move boat." It was hard to convey her concept, because it
was new to her.
"Yes!"
Colene cried, suddenly understanding. "Burgess—when you fire things out
your trunk, you get pushed back, right? So push us with water!" She made a
mental picture.
Burgess
floated to the back of the boat. He dipped his intrunk in the water, and fired
a jet from his outrunk. The boat began to move, turning slowly around.
Colene
grabbed the remaining paddle. She dragged it in the water behind the boat, and
it served to steady the craft, so that instead of turning it moved forward.
They were traveling toward the far shore again.
The
Anomaly realized this. It swam close—and Darius drove the end of the long pole
at its eye. He missed, but the monster sheered away.
Nona
found a splinter of wood and concentrated on expanding it. They could have
another pole, in case Anomaly crunched the existing one.
Anomaly
was not so dull as to miss the implication: the prey was escaping! It circled
the boat more swiftly, agitated. Then it moved away, turned, and came rapidly
straight toward them.
Nona
screamed warning. The monster was going to swamp them! Then it could consume what
it wanted, as they floundered in the water.
80 CHAOS MODE
There
was no time to act, even if any of them had known what to do. Helplessly they
watched Anomaly come at them, broadside. The creature lifted its head— then
launched into the air.
Nona
threw herself flat, trying to avoid being struck. The dark shape hurtled just
above her.
There
was a splash. Nona looked up. The Anomaly was swimming away on the other side.
It had passed right over the boat!
She
realized mat it had misjudged, because of the boat's low profile. It had
intended to sweep one or more of them into the water, or to land across the
boat and swamp it, but all the other people had been at the ends of the boat.
Seqiro and Darius were at the front, Burgess and Colene at the back. But if the
monster tried again, at one of the ends, it would catch one or more of them.
Colene
pulled in her paddle and hurried to join Nona. They clasped hands. "Grow.
Boat. Fast."
What
did the girl have in mind? Nona didn't argue. She put her hands on the gunwale
and concentrated with all her might. She could make the boat grow, but it would
not affect the people on it, because her power did not extend to living things.
Meanwhile
Colene went on to Darius and told him something, making gestures to augment her
limited telepathy. She gave him the paddle. The two of them grabbed the net
grown from the swatch of handkerchief and spread it out across the empty center
of the boat. Then she ran back to rejoin Burgess. Nona's wonder grew; this just
did not seem to make much sense as a defensive measure.
The
Anomaly was circling again, assessing the situation. Then it made another pass,
this time not quite as swiftly. It intended to leap and catch onr; end of the
boat or the other, and make a meal of the creatures there. Nona was expanding
the boat, and it was already significantly larger than before, but the monster
would still be able to clear it.
Darius
took the paddle and stroked vigorously in the water. The boat began to turn,
not getting anywhere but changing its orientation.
ANOMALY 81
Burgess
aimed his trunk to the side. This caused the boat to turn faster, being pushed
from each end. But it remained right in the path of the monster. Had they
gotten confused, so that instead of the paddler balancing the floater to propel
the craft forward, they merely spun it around?
The
Anomaly launched into the air just as the rear of the boat was swinging toward
it. This caused it to miss the end and land at an angle in the center. The shock
was violent; the entire body of the monster was on the boat. But the boat was
half again as large as it had been, and remained firm.
Then
Darius and Colene ran in from opposite sides, picking up the ends of the net.
They charged the Anomaly with seeming fearlessness. This was crazy!
They
met, putting their ends of the net together over the body of the monster. They
quickly knotted these, and stepped back.
At last
Nona saw what they had done. They had trapped the Anomaly! The creature was now
on the enlarged boat, trussed in the net. It was unable to return to the water,
because it was not equipped to crawl on land. It couldn't pull itself along
with its mouth tentacles, because they too were wrapped. It was, in effect, a
fish out of water.
Nona
stopped expanding the boat. She started contracting it, so they could move it
more rapidly. They had defeated the monster, and had only to move along to the
far shore. Thanks to Colene's brilliance.
Nona
really was jealous of the girl's intelligence. She would have to tell Colene,
knowing how pleased she would be to hear it.
r-
CHAPTER 5
HALLUCIGEN
r\ARIUS
was glad to reach the shore. The crab
had
been bad, but the Anomaly had been worse.
He
preferred to have his feet on the ground, so that he
could
at least fight or flee in good order. He had hardly
covered
himself in glory on the boat!
The
boat scraped against the shallow water at the edge, and wedged in place. Now
the humans and the horse could get out—but what of Burgess? They had lifted him
in, but the special strength and coordination had been provided by Seqiro, who
had governed their minds. Now the horse's mind was exhausted, so they couldn't
do that. Seqiro, resting as they forged slowly on across the lake, had recovered
enough to link them telepathically, but that was all. Probably the telepathy
extended only in the small space they occupied, being at low ebb.
"Will
we need this boat again?" he inquired, looking around.
Nona
shrugged. Colene, as usual, made the decision: "No. We're getting well
away from here."
"Then
we can destroy it." He took the axe and started chopping at the gunwale,
after Colene had led Seqiro to the shore.
HALLUCIGEN 83
"Hey,
what are you doing?" Colene cried. "It's a nice boat!"
"I
am making it possible for Burgess to float his own way out," he replied.
She was
quiet, recognizing the sense of it. Before long he had two cuts through the
gunwale, and was able to bash out the intervening section. Burgess floated
through and onto the water without difficulty.
"What
about Anomaly?" Nona asked.
"Say,
yes," Colene agreed. "We can't just let it die like that."
So
Darius cut the strands of the net, and pulled it clear, freeing the monster. In
a moment Anomaly used its tentacles to haul its head over the remaining
gunwale. Then it gave a great heave and splashed into the water. It swam away.
Darius wouldn't have cared to say so, but he was just as glad; the thing had
been a terror, but he had no stomach for killing a creature already rendered
helpless.
"I
guess it'll know not to bother us again," Colene said, almost wistfully.
"We
should move on into the forest," Darius said. "But if there are no
crabs here—"
"Yeah,
we're all so tired," Colene agreed. "Say! Suppose we made a fire?
Most wild creatures are afraid of fire, aren't they? Maybe we'd be safe beside
it."
Darius
considered that notion, and liked it. He brought out one of the magic
firesticks he had gotten from Colene.
"Uh,
wait, Darius," Colene said. "Those matches don't set fire to just
anything. You have to have dry tinder. Anyway, we shouldn't waste them, because
we don't know when we'll ever get more. We should save them for real
emergencies."
Darius,
about to protest that he did know about tinder, stifled it, realizing that she
had a point. One of those matches had enabled him to escape captivity in a
foreign Mode, and might be needed for that again. "How can we make
fire?"
' That stopped them. There were supposed to
be ways, :but none of them seemed to be proficient in such tech-
84 CHAOS MODE
niques.
Colene sent out a mental picture of rubbing two sticks together, but without
much hope. Probably early man got fire by saving it from a natural btaze
started by a lightning strike.
And
there was an idea: once they had a fire, they should save it. Except that they
weren't quite sure how to do that, either. If they had the right ceramic
container for a firepot, and the right slow-burning material, and could stop it
from smoking too badly—
"Maybe
Nona can make fire magically," Colene suggested wryly.
Nona
shook her head. "This was beyond the power of the despots of my
Mode," she said. "They could make the illusion of fire, as could we
all, and could transform materials, so that it looked as if they had been
burnt, but—"
"So
that's what the Knave did, when he was trying to rape me!" Colene said
indignantly. "He made it seem as if my clothing was burning off, but there
was no heat. He must have transformed my clothing to dust, with the illusion of
flames."
"Yes.
I believe that much of despot magic was actually the appearance of other magic.
So my own powers must be similarly limited."
"How
can you be sure?" Colene asked.
Nona
paused. "I suppose I could try it. My other magical powers manifested over
time, surprising me. There might be another one forming. But even so, it might
not work in this other reality."
'Try
it," Colene said. "Just focus on something flammable, and try to
light it."
Nona
looked around, evidently somewhat at a loss. Darius saw the chopped remnant of
their boat. 'Try that," he suggested, pointing. "It's wood."
"Yeah,
try that," Colene agreed, smiling.
Nona
squinted at the boat. Suddenly there was a fireball, and sparks flew out. In a
moment Darius saw that the boat had become a bonfire.
He
looked at Nona, who stood openmouthed. "I was joking," he said, after
forcing his own mouth closed.
HALLUC1GEN 85
"So
was I," Colene said.
"I—I
knew that," Nona said. "I didn't think—the dry tinder—a big wet
boat-—I just made a huge and futile effort, only—"
"Only
it wasn't futile," Colene finished. "You figured that even if you
could do the magic, it would be just a little-bitty spark."
"Yes."
They
stood and watched the boat burning, awed.
"I
hope you never get angry at me," Darius murmured.
"Oh,
I would never—" Nona said, horrified.
"He's
teasing you," Colene said. "But I guess we don't have to worry about
carrying fire." She turned to Nona. "But maybe you should see if you
can tone it down a little, because if we needed a candle lit, and you made a
fireball—"
Darius
had to laugh. But Colene was right; Nona's magical pyrotechnics could be
dangerous. He gathered some sticks, chips, and dry grass, fashioned a small
setting, and showed it to Nona.
Nona
squinted. Nothing happened. Then, after a moment, there was a faint curl of
smoke. Then a little flame appeared. She had it under control.
"So
we'll sleep right here," Colene decided. Then she did a double take.
"Hey! We're communicating again! Seqiro's recovered."
"In
a small radius," Darius said. "He still lacks the strength for more
than that."
Colene
went over to hug the horse. "Don't strain yourself, hoof-foot," she
said. "We can get along without you for a while." Then she said
something else, but it was indecipherable: the horse had taken her at her word,
and was resting.
They
foraged for fruits and nuts, which were plentiful, and leveled a section of the
shore so that Burgess could move comfortably. Nona got a long branch and used
it to knock down more fruits, which she offered to Burgess and Seqiro. Darius
dug a shallow trench around their camping £ site, and piled branches in it for
Nona to ignite, once they
86 CHAOS MODE
settled
down for the night. With this ring of fire, they should not need much else for
protection. Nevertheless he intended to keep watch, if no one else did. The
business of the crab had satisfied him that this world was not to be trusted.
When
night came, the others did sleep, using a tent made from material Nona expanded
for the purpose: more handkerchief laced with leaves. But later Colene roused
herself, came to him, kissed him, and indicated their tent: it was his turn to
sleep. He knew she would stay alert, because she understood the danger as well
as he did. He went to the tent and flopped down gratefully beside Nona.
He woke
later, to find the figure touching him. In fact, she was kissing him. What was
this? "No, Nona!" he protested.
He was
answered by a laugh. Then he realized that it was Colene, who had finished her
turn and taken Nona's place in the tent. Embarrassed, he gave her arm a
squeeze, and returned to sleep.
But
later yet he discovered himself between two human figures. Both women were
there. Then who was keeping watch? Alarmed, he crawled out—and saw Burgess
floating along his path. The floater was taking his turn.
When
dawn came, Burgess had settled back, air quiescent, eye stalks retracted. But
Seqiro was pacing the region. My fatigue of the mind has recovered, he thought
to Darius.
That
was good. They were now reasonably rested, and back to strength, and could
continue. As he understood it, they would have to survive in this Mode for
several days, to give the mind predator time to forget about Colene. Then they
would have to return to the anchor point and cross. With fortune, the hive
floaters would also have forgotten about them by then.
Meanwhile,
during dieir enforced stay in this Mode they had gotten to know Burgess, and
Nona had discovered a new ability, fire. They could have gotten by without it,
because of the matches, but what she could do was better
HALLUCIGEN 87
and
could well be useful in an emergency. Since the Virtual Mode could be
dangerous, this was good.
They
foraged for more food and took care of personal incidentals, then got together
to decide on their course. Burgess had no idea of the landscape or animal life
here; no member of his hive had penetrated even this far, so there was no
currency on it.
"Let
me get this straight," Darius said. "Your kind, the floaters, gather
together in tribes called hives, and you constantly exchange information
through your contact points, so that every member of the hive knows what every
other member does. So if any member of your hive had ever been in this
wilderness, and lived to rejoin the hive, you would know it?"
Burgess
signaled agreement. With Seqiro back on duty, increasingly able to fathom
Burgess1 thoughts, there was hardly any confusion now. The floaters were creatures
of currency: they had a need always to be current on hive knowledge, and
suffered if they lost currency. That was why Burgess had invoked the Virtual
Mode. He had to find another hive with which to be current. They were the
weirdest kind of hive he could have imagined, had he been a creature of
imagination, but he could relate.
"So
no other floaters will follow us here, but you have no good information for
us," Darius concluded.
That
was true. Since Burgess could travel here only with difficulty, he was a
liability to the party.
"That's
not true," Coiene said. "Burgess knows a lot about this world. We
aren't going to be in the wilderness forever, and the moment we get out of it,
he's going to know what we need to know. We're not dumping him."
"That
was not the nature of my thought," Darius said hastily. "If Burgess
doesn't know anything about the inner wilderness, then neither do any of the
hivers. They won't know whether we're alive or dead, or deep inside or just at
the edge of the region. So we don't have to go far. In ^ fact, we don't have to
go anywhere, now that we've found
relatively
safe spot to camp, here."
88 CHAOS MODE
"Hey,
that's right!" Colene agreed. "We can dig in and be
comfortable."
Nona
was gazing at the sky. "Do you know the flying creatures, Burgess?"
she asked.
Burgess
oriented his eyes. Yes. Those were predatory creatures that needed to be fended
off. He floated to a sandy patch and lowered his intrunk, ready to send a blast
of sand up.
"They
look like birds, from here," Colene remarked.
They
were not birds. Burgess had no concept of birds, because they were vertebrates,
none of which existed here. Neither were these insects. They were of another
phylum. They were dangerous, and it would be necessary for the others to hide
from them.
"From
little birds?" Colene asked incredulously.
But the
growing picture Burgess was sending made her turn quickly serious. The most
descriptive term was shears: they had mouths which sliced or cut the flesh of their
prey, swiftly. They tended to attack in swarms, so that it was hard to defend
against them all, and flesh was usually lost.
"We
had better stop them from touching us," Darius said, as the swarm of
shears loomed closer. "Nona, if you can grow some shield material—"
Nona
caught up a chip of wood and started expanding it. Darius himself went for his
sword, then reconsidered; against a flying swarm it would be almost
ineffective. Instead he donned heavy gloves, and Colene did the same. Then they
put on heavy jackets from their supplies, and took one to Nona.
The
shears did not give them much time. Several of the creatures swooped down,
making a peculiar buzzing sound. "What kind of wings do they have?"
Colene demanded.
Burgess
provided a picture: two paddlelike projections, which angled into the air,
moving in opposite directions. They were like propellers, except that each had
only one extension, sweeping in almost a full circle clockwise, then
HALLUCIGEN 89
counterclockwise,
so swiftly that the pair of them blurred into fuzziness.
One
came straight at Darius. He batted it away with one fist—and felt a flare of
pain. His glove had a gash, and blood was welling from the side of his hand.
The creature itself spun to the side and then zoomed on away.
Another
came at Seqiro. It smacked into the frame of Colene's bicycle, which was one of
the many things tied to the horse's harness, and dropped to the ground,
stunned.
The
third went for Burgess—who fired a small rock at it, and a blast of sand. The
rock missed, but the sand bathed it, and the shear fled.
Colene
pounced on the fallen creature, pinning it to the ground with a forked stick.
Now they could see it clearly. The shear was about the size of a robin, but
there the resemblance ended. It had small overlapping scales which flared at
the back to serve as a rudder, the two propeller-paddles toward the front, and
a head consisting of several recessed, armored eyes and the scissor beak. Each
blade of that beak was knife-sharp, and stout muscles around it suggested the
power of its shearing action. Taken as a whole, it was an odd and ugly thing.
But
more were coming. "Shield me, Nona!" Colene cried, still pinning the
fallen creature. Nona brought her expanded chip and held it before the two of
them.
Darius,
seeing that his hand injury wasn't serious, still recognized that gloves alone
were not sufficient. But he lacked a shield. So he scrambled for stones and
sand, scraping them into the range of Burgess' trunk. "I'll try to keep
you supplied; you shoot them down," he told the floater.
This
time a larger swarm of shears came down. Several banged off Nona's growing
shield and spun away. Several more tried for Seqiro, and there was a mental
flash of pain as one scored on the horse's flank. But at the moment Darius had
to focus on the ones coming at Burgess and himself.
There
were about five of them, each a buzzing blip Rooming rapidly closer. Their
motions were erratic, as their
90 CHAOS MODE
alternate
paddle strokes jerked them around in an irregular spiral flight pattern. That
made them almost impossible to shoot down at a distance. But a scattershot
approach might do it. "Sand," he told Burgess, touching a contact
point. "Fire a wall of sand at them." He concentrated his scooping on
that, getting just as much sand into the floater as he could.
Burgess
obliged. He blew out a spreading jet of sand, moving it around so that a
fair-sized region between them and the shears became a cloud of it. The shears
sheered away from it, perhaps having had prior experience with this tactic.
Probably it was what a defensive contingent of hivers used. There was security
in number, certainly!
But
then they veered back in, from the sides. Darius grabbed at the bodies, trying
to catch them from behind, but his reactions were too slow. Then he got smart
and grabbed at where they were heading, which was Burgess' eye stalks. This
time he managed to catch one. He threw it down and stamped on it as he grabbed
for another.
Then
the swarm was gone, and the party was left to tend its injuries. Darius went to
see what he could do for Seqiro and himself. The horse's gouge was painful but
not serious, as was his own; salve and bandages helped both.
Meanwhile
Colene and Nona were busy. "Here's your next familiar," Colene said.
'Tame it, and we'll have a flying spy."
"That's
wonderful!" Nona agreed.
But
more clouds of shears were appearing in the distance. "This place is too
exposed," Darius said. "We have to get some natural cover."
Colene
looked up, seeing the threat. "That's for sure! At least we can get in
among the trees."
Hurriedly
they extended Burgess' path so that it went into the forest. They found a place
under a spreading tree, so that there was a network of branches and leaves
walling off the sky. The trunk served as a backstop, so that they could cluster
around it, having only one direction to defend. Darius took the wood shield
Nona had grown; Nona was busy taming the shear, which she now held in her
HALLUCIGEN
91
hand.
It no longer looked so ugly, now that it was going to be their ally.
The
shears did attack again, but now they had to come in along Burgess' path, and
Burgess was able to shoot them down with stones. They couldn't stray from that
narrow way without running afoul of the tree branches. Soon they gave it up.
"I
guess now we know why we can't camp on the shore," Colene said
regretfully. "If we try to hide from the shears in the water, Anomaly will
get us, and if we don't, we'll get sliced up."
"They
do not like the forest," Nona agreed. "I am receiving that from this
one's mind."
"Oops—does
that mean it won't fly for you in the for-estT Colene asked.
"No,
as my familiar it will do what I wish, and feel no fear. But when I release it,
it will flee the forest."
"Then
let's have it explore nearby, so we can find the best place for our camp."
Soon
Nona did just that. The shear flew up from her hand and navigated between the
trunks of the trees, flying low. Then it angled up into the sky, so that it
could see over the forest.
The
creature's impressions came to Nona, because of her magic, and Nona's
impressions came to the rest of them, because of Seqiro's telepathy. Thus
Darius was able to close his eyes and see the world through the beady eyes of
the shear. It was an interesting experience.
He
(Darius) seemed to be flying just over the trees, feeling the comforting beat
of his props. He saw the region where the lake cut through the forest, and the
region where a slope led up to a higher level. He followed that slope, and saw
that above it was a mesa: a flat and almost treeless expanse, covered by short
grass.
"Say,
I think that's our camping site!" Colene exclaimed. "If the shears
don't go there."
"They
don't," Nona agreed. "Because there's no game there. At least, not
now."
Nona
focused, and the others did with her. A picture of
92 CHAOS MODE
something
huge and serpentine formed. But it was not a serpent. It was something that
slid across the plain and ate the grass. It was armored on top, so that the
shears were unable to cut much flesh. Once the grass was gone, the grazer slid
off the mesa and moved to another mesa. In the course of a season the grass
grew back, and then a grazer would come again. Part of this Darius worked out
for himself, as the shear did not think in this manner. It merely had an
impression of the big grazer, and of absence of grass.
"That
should be a pretty safe place," Colene said. "And ideal for Burgess,
because it's flat and firm."
"But
mere's nothing to eat there," Darius pointed out. "Nothing to
drink."
"Nona
can magnify a fruit, and a cup of water."
They
hadn't occurred to him. "You can do this, Nona?"
"I
suppose I can," Nona agreed, surprised. "I would not try it with
living things, but perhaps a fruit would work."
"So
all we have to do is get up there. That's apt to be a problem for Burgess,
because he doesn't float well on a tilt."
Darius
considered the practical aspects. The mesa did seem to be a good place. How
could they make a path Burgess could travel, if it had to be almost level? Then
he had a better notion. "A sledge," he said. "Seqiro could haul
a sledge with Burgess on it."
"Say,
yes!" Colene agreed so enthusiastically that Darius had a suspicion that
she had planted that notion in his mind. She seemed to want him to be the
leader, and when he faltered, she nudged him with ideas. He wasn't sure how he
felt about that, but this was not the time to protest.
They
went to work making the sledge. This was easier than it might have been; Darius
simply carved Nona's shield chip of wood into a platform with two runners below
and a surrounding ridge above, and then she expanded it magically until it was
large enough to support Burgess. Meanwhile Colene explored to find the best
route for the sledge, accompanied by Seqiro, who kept a mental lookout
HALLUCIGEN 93
for any
possible predators. There were, indeed, no big crabs here, which was a relief.
In due course they had a route marked to the slope; that was about as far as
seemed feasible for this day.
'- They dug a shallow pit into the slope, and
shored that with branches to make their shelter. They made a fire, and arranged
it to burn low in a shallow ditch half circling the shelter, so that it would
protect Burgess and Seqiro too. They found a fruit, and Nona magnified it so
that it would serve diem all for the evening meal. But that wasn't suc-
: cessful: the fruit expanded its fibers
and cells too, so that it resembled a magnified image, and did not taste good.
, With wood it didn't matter, because
they didn't care if it became coarser, so long as it was solid and strong. With
* • metal it didn't matter, for the same
reason. But with food it did. They had encountered a limit to Nona's magic. So
they had to borrow from their carried supplies, this once. However, Seqiro
found that he could tolerate his grain expanded to double size, and that did
seem to be nutritive, so at least the magic could extend that type of food. Burgess,
also, was relatively adaptable; since he sucked in and ground up his food
anyway, a coarseness was not much of a problem. So he consumed the expanded
fruit. Also, the shear was not choosy, and would eat fruit as well as a blob of
expanded blood Nona made from the sodden bandage she changed on Seqiro. The
shear, now tame, was satisfied to clamp its beak on the pole supporting the top
of the tent and hang there, sleeping; it needed no feet. That was just as well,
since it had none.
Again
they took turns walking guard. Darius was first. He made sure the fire was
continuous, if low; the smoke helped drive off the nocturnal bugs. He fashioned
a route that passed the dug-in tent, Seqiro asleep on his feet, and Burgess,
settled on the ground at the end of his path. There was a slight susurration
from Burgess; he still pumped air, in order to breathe with his nether gills,
but not enough to make him float. His eye stalks were retracted, but the
light-sensitive patches around his rim remained open.
1 v Darius was surprised at how readily he
had come to accept
94 CHAOS MODE
the
alien structure of the floater as routine. Probably it was because of the
connection between minds. That was not operative now, because Seqiro was
asleep, but in the day Burgess' mind was part of their network.
Actually
the floater's mind was being defined in terms of the human mind, in much the
way as was the horse's mind, because Burgess did not have intelligence of his
own. He had tremendous storage capacity, remembering virtually all his own
experience and that of all other floaters in the hive, but he did not normally
reason things out for himself. When a human mind reasoned something out, while
being connected to Burgess' mind, then it seemed as if the floater were
thinking similarly, but that was illusion. That made Burgess more compatible
than he might have been otherwise, because though his nature was alien, his
thought patterns were becoming human, learned from the human minds. It was like
one of the computers in Colene's thoughts: programmable.
Colene—and
there was another matter to be thought out, now that the others were asleep and
his thoughts were private. He loved her, foolishly perhaps, but firmly. He
wanted to marry her, and could not. Because she was a creature of depression,
while he required a creature of joy. This had to do with the nature of his duty
as Cyng of Hlahtar, in his home Mode. He had to draw from his wife all the joy
she possessed, and multiply it, and send it out to all those in the vicinity.
That spread joy to everyone, and made life worthwhile despite its often menial
nature. His wife, too, would get her joy back—but it was never quite as much as
it had been at the start. So with each repetition, at each new community, her
joy was further depleted, until it was too low to be of value. Then he had to
divorce her and marry another woman, so as to start the process over. For this
reason, the Cyngs of Hlahtar seldom married for love. Instead they married for
joy, in an unro-mantic sense: the joy they took from their wives. They seldom
bothered to have sex with their wives; that was reserved for their romantic
interests, their bed maidens.
Darius
had hoped to merge marriage and love by find-
HALLUCIGEN 95
ing a
maiden he could love who was filled with joy. So much joy that he could never
deplete it. This was not a matter of feeling good, but of having a certain
indefatigable power of joy. This simply would not work, with Colene; he could
draw only dolor from her. The irony was that in the course of his quest for
Colene, he had found a woman who would make the ideal wife. That was Prima,
whose powers of multiplication of emotion were equivalent to his own. He could
marry her, and draw from her without ever depleting her. She was a generation
older than he, and not physically attractive to him, but that didn't matter—if
he went the normal course, and married her for her power of joy.
The
trouble was that he wanted to marry Colene. This was a foolish desire, and he
knew it, but that was the way it was. He could love her, but he couldn't marry
her. She understood this, and accepted it, now. But he didn't.
A
further irony was that she was too young for sex, according to the dictate of
her culture. So the other part of his potential relationship with her was in a
null state, too. He could neither marry her nor take her for a mistress. Yet he
loved her.
When
their journey was complete, and they reached his home Mode, what would happen?
He would have to marry Prima, but who would he have in his bed? Colene was
fiercely jealous of any sexual expression he might have with any woman other
than herself. This put him in an awkward position, since the standards of his
own culture differed. He wanted her to be happy, but she would not be even
remotely happy if she were neither his wife nor his mistress.
It
seemed to be an insoluble problem. Maybe they would be better off if they did
not reach his home Mode soon. Yet that, too, was problematical. He wasn't sure
how long he could resist her blandishments. She wanted to seduce him, and her
attempts were both subtle and unsubtle, and the plain fact was that he found
her little body enormously appealing. She thought that her lack of breasts the
size of Nona's made her inferior, but the truth was that he
96 CHAOS MODE
liked
women whatever way they came, and could derive as much pleasure from a slender
one as from a voluptuous one. Attitude really made a greater difference than
body, and Colene's attitude was the height and depth of intrigue. So it was not
safe for him to remain with her too long in the present manner. They had to
complete their journey and get off the Virtual Mode.
Darius
paused. Had he heard something? There did not seem to be anything in the
forest; their smoldering fire seemed to be an effective deterrent. It probably
wouldn't stop a big crab, but that wasn't the problem. Suppose something came
that wasn't afraid of fire?
Yet the
sound didn't seem to be from the depths of the forest. It seemed to be close,
within the fire enclosure. It was also too faint to hear. Was it merely the
embers settling?
Darius
got down and put his ear to the ground. Now he heard it more clearly:
click-click, click-click. From within the ground. What could it be?
He
scuffed the dirt with a foot, making a shallow excavation. He uncovered
something. He took a stick, touched it to the nearest fire, and brought the
crude torch across to illuminate the spot.
Now he
saw thin projections rising from the scraped earth. He relaxed, relieved.
Worms! These were little worms coming up to forage at night. They clicked as
they moved. Did they have jointed shells?
He
reached down to touch one. But as his hand approached the worm, it whipped to
the side, its pointed end stabbing into his finger. Pain flared.
He
jerked his hand away. But now the worm came with it, the head still burrowing
into his finger. He had to grab its body with his other hand and yank it
out—and that hurt again, because its head was barbed. The thing was a
bloodsucker!
He
dropped it on the ground and stomped it. Then he stomped the other heads
showing. He put his finger in his mouth, trying to stop the pain, but it kept
hurting and
HALLUCIGEN 97
bleeding.
The little monster must have injected something to stop the blood from
coagulating.
Then he
realized what this meant to those who were sleeping. The worms would come up
under them, burrow through their clothes, and—
He ran
for the tent. "Wake! Wake!" he cried, reaching in to grab an ankle.
It turned out to be Nona's; her shapely leg lifted as she sat up. "Get on
your feet," he said urgently. "Quickly!"
In a
moment both women were standing beside him. "Worms," he exclaimed.
"Bloodsuckers. Coming up through the ground. One stabbed me on the finger,
and it won't stop bleeding." He showed his finger, which indeed was still
leaking blood. He supplemented this with a mental picture of his experience.
Both
women were staring blankly at him. Then he realized that the horse remained
asleep; there was no translation. Colene could do a little, when she tried, but
she wasn't trying at the moment.
Actually
Seqiro could be at risk too, and maybe Burgess. He walked to the horse and
touched him on the shoulder. "Wake," he said. "We have
trouble."
Then
the minds of the others tuned in. Darius quickly rehearsed the matter for them
all.
In a
moment Colene had a torch and was looking inside the tent. "Ugh!" she
exclaimed. 'They're coming up! Some are already in the bedding."
"Now
we know why other creatures aren't sleeping here," Nona remarked.
"Those bloodsucker worms must be all through this forest."
"But
they weren't by the shore," Colene reminded her.
"Maybe
there's too much water there," Darius offered. "Waterlogged soil
drowns them out." But of course the shears ranged there, by day.
"Will
they be able to get through your hooves, Seqiro?" Colene inquired.
Three
are trying, so far without success, the horse responded.
"What
about you, Burgess?" she asked.
98 CHAOS MODE
Burgess
rested on the hard rim of his canopy, with none of his softer parts in contact
with the ground; the worms could not get at him.
"And
I guess they can't get through our boots, either," Colene concluded.
"So we're safe as long as we stay on our feet. What delight."
"We
can fashion an elevated bed," Darius said.
"Say,
yes! Because by the look of it, the worms can't climb or jump; they just bore
up through the sod and into any flesh that's there. So we can balk them. Still,
I'd rather be out of here. The forest has too many ugly surprises."
Darius
was in hearty agreement. He had felt safer on the Virtual Mode, despite its
myriad traps.
Nona
expanded the wooden sledge, until it was large enough for all three of them to
lie on. "You take it now, with Nona," Colene said to Darius.
"I'm wide awake anyway."
She
kept putting him with Nona. He knew why: because it was Colene's nature to take
suicidal risks. He wished he could reverse that, and make her become a vessel
of joy. But, with the worst irony yet, he feared she would men lose her
fascination for him. He seemed to have as much of a destructive impulse as she
did, when he related to her.
He
climbed onto the sledge beside Nona and closed his eyes. Nona, appropriately,
kept her thoughts blanked. It was an ability she had been practicing. Actually
it was one they should all practice because it was better to have control than
lack of control. So he concentrated on that. Nothing against you, Seqiro, he
thought to the horse. / just want to know how.
IN the
morning he found Colene beside him, cuddling close. She was asleep; he could
tell, because Nona's awake thoughts came to him, while Colene's were of
scattered bits of dreams. Impulsively he lifted his head and kissed her on her
sleeping mourn. Somehow they would work things out. They had to.
She
woke. "Hey, did you kiss me?" she demanded.
"I
confess I did. I didn't mean to wake you."
HALLUCIGEN 99
"Can't
think of any way I'd rather be waked." She lifted her head and kissed him
back, hard.
They
got through their morning routines, and got to work on the path up the slope.
By noon they had something suitable. Then Nona shrank the sledge down to its
prior size, and they put Burgess on it. Just to be sure he stayed put, they
passed a cord up over his canopy, tying him down.
Darius
expected difficulty, but it was surprisingly straightforward. Seqiro was a very
large, powerful horse, eighteen hands, which meant that his shoulder was as
high as the top of Darius' head. When he set out to pull, he hauled the sledge
and its burden up as if it were inconsequential. Before long they made it to
the mesa. Darius hoped this would turn out to be a safe retreat for them.
And so
it turned out to be. The predator worms evidently couldn't get through the rock
underlying the surface, and there were no creatures there. It was a vacant
plain, as if just waiting for them to use it.
Nevertheless,
they made a camp resembling a small fort, with an earthen rampart around it,
and a fire trench. They dug down deep, looking for worm holes, just to be sure,
then set the expanded sledge in place. None of them cared to take any further
chances.
Nona
expanded some water, and this at least turned out to be potable. Perhaps that
was because it lacked any fibrous structure. Obviously the mass of an expanded
object increased because it weighed more; it was just that if it had a rigid
structure, it maintained it. That suggested that it was the internal structure
of food that caused the problem, rather than the substance itself.
Their
night was uneventful, though they kept guard as before. There were no worms, no
flying predators, and no land-crawling monsters. Nona's tame shear explored the
mesa and the slopes around it, spying nothing. They foraged for fruit and nuts
by making excursions down the path. They agreed that no one should go below
alone, so they went as pairs selected from among Seqiro and the three human
folk. Burgess could float freely across the
100 CHAOS MODE
HALLUCJGEN 101
mesa,
but could not get off it by himself. Desiring to contribute sufficiently to the
hive, he offered to do all of the night guarding, so that the others could
sleep. But floaters could not move with confidence in darkness. They solved
that problem by making several limited fires ringing the edge of the mesa; when
Burgess knew it was level and safe within that broad circle of blazes, he was
able to cope. If any monster came up on the mesa, he would be able to see its
silhouette against one of the fires.
They
remained for several days, getting thoroughly rested. Communication with
Burgess improved, until problems were infrequent. Burgess, like Seqiro,
required the contact of a human mind, in order to think like a human being.
Unlike Seqiro, he also needed to be touched on a contact point, to establish
mind contact. The horse and the floater together had no mental rapport; there
had to be a human touching Burgess, who then brought the floater into the
telepathic environment. Once they had worked out the exact nature of the
limits, it became easy enough to maintain contact. Since it was the floater's
nature to constantly exchange information with each other person he
encountered, for mutual updating, the three humans simply put their hands on
his contact points, rather like the custom of shaking hands in Colene's Earth
Mode. Sometimes they all joined him, so that there were multiple contacts. It
was possible for each of the three humans to communicate with him without
Seqiro's telepathy, but this was more limited, and of three different types.
Colene did it with her own limited telepathy. Nona did it by relating to him as
a familiar. Darius did it by doing a limited drawing and return of joy. Burgess
could even serve as a partial mental linkage between humans when the horse was
asleep. So their time on the mesa was well spent, in this respect. Now they
could relate well to each other, and that could be important when they
encountered some problem and had to react swiftly and with coordination.
The
question was, when should they return to the Virtual Mode? They had no way of
telling in advance whether the mind predator remained lurking, but judged
that it
should have given up by this time. They had less concern about the hivers by
the Mode anchor: they did not understand its nature well, and after a few days
had stopped watching it. Nona had learned this by sending the shear there to
spy. However, the moment their party returned to the main plain and headed for
the anchor, the hivers would be alerted and would try to intercept them. This
was no good; they didn't need Burgess' warning to advise them that they would
get stoned to death in short order.
The
answer, they agreed, was to go to the anchor at night, when the hivers would be
sleeping within their ramparts. But that had its own problems, because of the
terrain and the nocturnal predators. They wouldn't be able to use fire, because
that would alert the hivers, who might then come out; Burgess remembered
examples of hive action at night, when there was a threat. Floaters did not
like to travel at night, but could do so in familiar territory. How, then,
could the party make a quiet, safe transit at night? They held several communal
sessions, the three humans holding on to Burgess' contact points while also being
in telepathic communication. As a linked group, with some practice, they became
a fairly powerful hive mind themselves. They decided on two things: to move by
day to the edge of the wilderness closest to the anchor place, so as to have a
relatively short journey the rest of the way by night; and to try to capture a
night creature for Nona to tame, who could help them see in the darkness. That
combination should enable them to reach the anchor safely.
But
what night creature could they catch? Burgess had little information on that,
because night predators were things of mystery and horror to hivers, to be kept
constantly at bay. Some were creatures of the ground, some of water, and some
of air. Other predators quickly hauled v away the bodies of those brought down
by stones, so that -•: there was nothing to examine in the morning. Of one
thing P. '• Burgess was sure, however: there were quite a number of ^•creatures
of the night. More than there were by day, per-ifcbaps because the hivers had
eliminated most of the serious
102 CHAOS MODE
day
predators of the plain. So they would have to have good information before they
made that final trek for the anchor.
The
trouble was, they couldn't decide the kind of night creature they could catch,
because of their ignorance. It was likely to be dangerous to go hunting for
one.
Then
Colene had one of her bright notions. "Armor!" she exclaimed.
"We can put on armor, so nothing can get at us. No predators, no sand, no
stones. Then we won't have to worry what's out there."
"Where
would we get armor?" Darius inquired, amused.
"We'll
make it, silly! Out of wood."
He
shook his head. 'That could be a great deal of work."
"Not
if we do it small, and have Nona expand it to fit."
He
stopped being amused. She was right: they could be armored. If the panels were
solid enough, they would be proof against the stones the hivers could hurl.
"In
fact," Nona suggested, "we might even make an armored wagon, with
wheels, for the plain."
"Wheels!"
Colene exclaimed, thrilled. "Big ones, so it can't get bogged down in the
dirt. Seqiro can pull it. He'll have armor too, of course. Then we can travel
there by day."
Burgess
demurred. The hivers would not know what was happening, but they could hurl so
many rocks and pile so much sand that it would be impossible to get through.
"At
night, then," Colene said. "An armored wagon at night, to stop the
predators without stirring up the hivers."
They
discussed it, and concluded that it was worthwhile. Darius started carving
solid wood chips for the protection of arms, legs, and torso, while Colene set
about designing panels for a wagon that could be assembled to make a solid
container at the edge of the plain. Because they would not be able to fit that
wagon through the forest full-sized, and it wouldn't be much use undersized.
With panels, they could use the wheels and base of a reduced-size wagon to
carry full-sized panels, then have to enlarge only
HALLUCIGEN 103
that
base when they got there. Efficiency was the keynote; once they started moving,
they didn't want to delay.
Nona
enlarged Darius' body-armor sections, and he did some additional carving. They
used cord enlarged from thread to tie them to his body. When he stood in his
full armor, Colene looked at him and laughed. "You look like the Tin
Woodman of Oz!" she exclaimed.
"The
what?"
"It's
a fantasy story," she said, making a mental picture. "Never mind. I
guess you're more like a wooden tinman, anyway. I pity the poor monster who
tries to eat you}"
"I
hope to be too tough a morsel for a monster to swallow, in mis armor," he
agreed. But he realized that he must look strange indeed. The curved wooden
sections covered his calves, his thighs, his torso, his forearms, his upper
arms, and projected up behind his head. There were no joints; the sections
simply didn't connect directly with each other. But they overlapped enough so
that no part of him was badly exposed. The wood was not unduly heavy, but he
would be glad when he no longer had to wear such equipment.
They
agreed that Darius and Seqiro would have armor, while the others rode in the
wagon. Even Burgess, who could travel well on the plain but would be exposed.
Also, if he were hidden in the wagon, the hivers might not realize he was
there, and wouldn't pay much attention.
Darius
carved miniature panels for Seqiro, which Nona expanded. There was a problem,
since the horse was already covered with bags and items attached to his
harness. They decided to cover every section not already protected to some
degree. So Seqiro got neck panels and head protection. He preferred to leave
his legs exposed, because armor would interfere with his walking.
Meanwhile
Colene completed her wagon design, and demonstrated how the little panels had
projections which poked through holes around the edge of the base so that they
would be firm. The roof panel had holes which held the upper projections, so
that it too was firm. Of course the wagon was larger, now, but the panels would
be expanded to fit it.
104 CHAOS MODE
The
wagon itself had four fairly nice wooden wheels on wooden axles lubricated by
grease expanded from a drop they had in the supplies. It was crude, but it
should work for the two hours or so required. Colene was pleased with what she
called her technology, and Darius was pleased too.
They
set a day for their travel, when everything was prepared. They started at dawn,
hoping to retrace their path through the forest, cross the river, and get past
the crab section without stopping, in one day. After all, the way was familiar,
and the path had been prepared. The sledge had become the base for the wagon,
but still served to carry Burgess.
They
started backwards, because the wagon had no brakes. Seqiro was harnessed to it,
and he then backed it over the edge of the mesa and strained to prevent it from
drawing him down after it. Darius, in his armor, stood at the horse's head,
watching the wagon and track closely, so that the horse could draw both the
picture and the best way to react from his mind. Colene and Nona stood at
either side of the path, holding poles which they used to block the progress of
the wheels. It was a clumsy process, but they were well coordinated by the
mental linkage and did manage to get the wagon down the slope without mishap.
Then
Darius led Seqiro around a circle they had prepared, and they got moving
forward. Their path led between escarpments at the base of the mesa, before
bearing away toward the river.
"Okay,
we're ready to move," Colene said. "But we'd better check for bogies.
Anything to worry about, horse-facer
There
is a predator near, Seqiro thought as he checked for minds. His concentration
on the tricky descent had distracted him from this check before.
"Where?"
Colene asked.
On the
path ahead.
"Uh-oh.
We'll have to scare it out of there, because we need that path,"
"I
will send the shear," Nona said. The shear launched
HALLUCIGEN 105
from
her shoulder and flew in its winding way down the path.
Then,
abruptly, there was a thought of alarm. It was followed almost immediately by a
flare of pain. Then nothing.
"Something
killed my familiar!" Nona cried, falling back against a tree. Darius,
connected to the shear's mind through her mind and Seqiro's, was already aware
of that. Death had come with stunning suddenness.
This
was serious. The shear, though tamed, remained a vicious customer when
encountering others, and was more than competent to avoid what it couldn't
handle. What could have happened?
"I
don't like this," Colene said. "You have any idea, airfoot?"
Airfoot?
But Burgess, like Seqiro, seemed to like her nicknames. However, he had no idea
what the shear could have encountered.
"We
shall have to go look ourselves," Nona said.
Darius was
already marching ahead, down the path toward the escarpments. He carried a
spear and had the axe strapped to his back. He knew that if he had to fight,
Seqiro would enable him to do so with devastating efficiency.
As he
rounded a turn to where he could see between the escarpments, he spied
something odd. It seemed to be a mass of legs and tentacles, unlike anything he
had seen on this world before. He tried to form enough of a mental picture so
that the others could make sense of it, but there was a patch of vapor in the
vicinity that interfered with vision.
Something
struck Darius on an armored leg. Before he could react, his leg was yanked out
from under him. He was dragged rapidly toward the thing on the path, sliding
along his back. The axe was ripped away, and his spear caught against a tree
and was yanked from his hand.
Then he
was on his back amidst the mass of tentacles, and they were clamping on his
armor. He was several feet above the ground. The monster had gotten him!
106 CHAOS MODE
He
struggled, but the tentacles held him down. He couldn't turn his head to see
exactly what it was that held him. But it had to be what had killed the shear.
There
was a hissing near his feet. Darius strained to peer down, and saw a tube there.
Vapor was issuing from it. As it spread out to envelop him, he started
coughing; it was putrid stuff which stung his eyes and nose.
"Hallucigen!"
Colene exclaimed. "So that's how it feeds!"
"Never
mind how it feeds!" Darius cried. "Don't let it catch you!"
"Fire!"
Colene exclaimed. "Fire will stop it! Nona—"
There
was a burst of flame nearby, and smoke billowed out. Nona had magically ignited
the brush near the monster.
The
tentacles quivered. Then the monster moved. It backed away from the fire,
carrying Darius above it.
"Hit
it again, Nona!"
There
was another burst of flame, so close that Darius winced from the heat. This
time the tentacles convulsed, letting him go. Darius rolled to the ground,
landing among flames. He scrambled up and charged away. His armor had protected
him from actually getting burned, but he knew that wouldn't last.
When he
was clear, he turned and looked back. Now he saw the monster clearly. It had
seven pairs of stiff rodlike legs, and seven tentacles above its long body.
Each tentacle had small pincers at the end. Those were what had held him so
firmly. But it was the head that appalled him. It had one corrugated snout with
hefty toothed pincers at the end that were almost jaws, small eyes circling the
snout's base, and a cruel mouth orifice facing back toward the tentacles.
Suddenly
the snout lengthened, the pincers shooting outward. They clamped on Colene's
pole and jerked it out of her hands.
Now he
realized what had happened. Those pincers had shot out and caught his leg. Then
that snout-tentacle had contracted and hauled him in, dumping him on the mon-
HALLUCIGEN 107
ster's
back—where the tentacles had caught him. But why the noxious vapor, and how did
the thing eat?
More
fire flared. The Hallucigen dropped the pole and backed away again. Then it
turned and scrambled fourteen-footedly away.
Colene
ran up. "You okay, manface?"
He
embraced her as well as he could, considering his armor. "Bruised, singed,
battered, choked, humiliated, but otherwise satisfactory, girlface," he
said, kissing her.
"Then
let's get moving before the Hallucigen decides to come back," she said,
turning businesslike.
They
resumed their march. As they moved, they pooled their information, with Nona
putting a hand on one of Burgess' contact points so that he could participate.
Soon enough they worked out the nature of the thing they had just driven off.
The
monster was a long-descended variant of the Cambrian Hallucigen, the creature
Colene had thought might be an appendage of a larger creature. It had evolved
to come on land, breathe air—Colene had noticed a set of air gills projecting
down from the head—and had grown enormously in size. So now it was a monstrous
land-predator, as they had discovered. That pincer-snout had snapped the shear
from the air and brought it in for swift destruction. Darius, considerably
larger, and boxed in by his armor, had been more of a chore, so the monster
hadn't been able to dispatch him before the counterattack commenced.
The
Hallucigen's mouth orifice was in no position to snap at anything in front of
the head. But it didn't need to. Instead the snout whipped the prey onto the
back, where it was held, then shoved forward into the orifice. "Like a
pencil sharpener," Colene remarked, clarifying her mystifying reference
for them so that her analogy made sense. "You would have been jammed in
headfirst, Darius, ground up like hamburger. So maybe it would have taken some
time to reach your feet; that was all right, because Hallucigen had you
secured. It might simply have eaten another segment each day, until you were
gone. Nice system."
108 CHAOS MODE
"Very
nice," he agreed wryly. "But why the vapor?"
She had
an answer for that too. "It's digestive, I think. Probably sort of
pacifies the prey and softens it up, so the mouth can grind it in better. I
mean, why make the meat grinder work harder than it needs to?" She had to
clarify her analogy again, but again it was apt.
"It
must also drive away other predators," Nona offered. "So that none
will try to take away the meat."
"Yeah,
like a skunk," Colene agreed. "With the prey held right there, it
probably just puts the tenderizer right on it, neat as you please. I'm sure
glad I found out how the head works; it was a real mystery. The thing must have
stood in a current, so nobody would smell it, and hauled in any creatures
drifting in that current. It didn't need to move fast, because the current
would bring prey down to it. It just had to be sure it was secure on its feet.
It's a pretty neat design, really."
"Neat,"
Darius agreed, echoing her colloquialism. "I am just glad that Nona knew
how to make fire."
"I
never thought of it," Nona protested. "Until Colene told me."
"Actually
we might have put a block in its pincers and then beaten it off," Colene
said. "It doesn't have other offensive weapons. It's just snatch and hold
and eat. But I'm glad it didn't eat you," she said to Darius.
He was
glad too.
They
continued along the path, making good progress. At this rate they would indeed
complete their trip in one day. If they didn't encounter any other ugly
surprises.
i—
CHAPTER 6
MODES
DURGESS
rode on the wagon, not comfortable but
satisfied
to be transported in the way that was
feasible.
Without this arrangement, he would not have
been
able to travel through the wilderness or to remain
with
his adopted alien hive.
His
original hive rejected anything alien. It even rejected any thought patterns
that were too extreme. That was the cause of his rejection: the possibility mat
he had been infected by the poisoned hive. He had accepted that rejection,
because of his loyalty to the hive. But now he realized that there was an
irony. The same restrictions which protected the hive also limited it. No hiver
had ever explored the wilderness, so the hive was ignorant of its wonders. No
hiver had invoked a Virtual Mode, so those wonders too were not known. Yet the
aliens had abilities which could benefit the hive. Such as this concept of "magic,"
by which they could change the size of objects, or make fire appear. Such as
"telepathy," which was like the touching of contact points, but from
a distance, and with the barriers of contact conventions reduced. Such as
"technology," which enabled them to conceive and make this wagon, so
that he could travel with them despite his inability to float here. So though
he was having to adapt
110 CHAOS MODE
far
more drastically than he had anticipaf benefiting more than he had expected.
He had,
so far, taken more from this little hive than he had given to it. It was his
nature to try to be an asset to his hive, rather than a liability. Perhaps his
time would come to make his contribution.
In due
course they came to the lake. This time the ingenuity of the smallest and
smartest of the human aliens, Colene, provided them with a new way to cross.
They expanded the wagon to large size, so that all of them could stand on it,
including Seqiro Horse. They pushed it out into the water, using the poles, until
it floated. They fashioned paddles, which they fixed to the wheels. Then they
stood one to a wheel and pushed each forward on top, so that its bottom moved
the other way and stroked against the water. It was what Colene called a
paddlewheel boat. It moved slowly, but they were able to steer it, and it
seemed secure from the Anomaly predator.
The
Anomaly did appear, but mis time it did not attack. It seemed that it learned
from experience, and what it had learned was that big wooden craft were not fit
prey. Nevertheless, protective nets were set up along the sides, and there were
a number of sharp spears ready. The humans did not leave things to chance, if
they had a choice.
Across
the river they got on land and diminished the wagon until it was possible for
the armored horse to carry it. Burgess could float on this path, so he did,
sparing them the burden of transporting him. They made good progress.
Then
the crab came. It was not as smart as the Anomaly, and did not learn well from
experience. But this time they were ready for it.
A
fireball burst right in front of the crab. A patch of forest brush blazed. The
crab retreated, not liking the fire.
The
party continued along the path. After a while the crab came crashing through
the brush again, following them. Another fireball appeared, making another
temporary barrier. The crab desisted.
They
reached the spot where the path was too narrow and rough for Burgess to float
across. The three humans
MODES 111
picked
him up again, strengthened by the horse's mind, and carried him beyond the
obstruction.
The
crab came after them again, still refusing to learn from experience. One more
ball of flame balked it.
"Say,
I wonder whether Nona could stop the hivers the same way?" Colene
inquired.
Burgess
considered drawing on the human qualities of the hive mind, because by himself
he could not reason well. No, he concluded that the hivers would simply put out
the fire with sand. If fire struck one of them, they would think it was a natural
fire expanding suddenly, and would not be balked. Since there were many of
them, they would attack from all sides. Even if a ring of fire were instituted,
they would fire rocks and sand in from beyond it.
"Got
it," Colene agreed. "Fire doesn't balk a sandstorm or a rockfall. But
night and armor may."
They
moved on past the site of their first camp and reached the verge of the
wilderness. Here they stopped. It was late afternoon, and they had succeeded in
making their trip in one day. They had eaten their middle-day food while
waiting for the wagon to expand for the river crossing; now they ate their
end-day food. They expanded the wagon again, and installed the sides and top,
and tinkered with it to make sure it was ready to move. They fixed the harness
so that the armored horse could haul the wagon without complication. By the
time it was dark, they were ready to go out on the plain.
This
time Colene and Nona joined Burgess inside the wagon. They had slit-apertures
through which they could peer to see the darkness beyond. Burgess' own eyes
would not extend that far, so could not see out. However, with the linkage to
the horse's mind, he could see all that he required. There was some faint
light, after all, because of the moon. It did not show any detail, but the
outlines of large things, such as trees, could be made out.
They
started moving. Darius walked in his armor beside Seqiro in his armor. Darius
guided the horse and kept watch, so that Seqiro could concentrate on his
hauling and
112 CHAOS MODE
on the
minds of all of them. It was a useful collaboration and separation of
contributions that represented the proper functioning of the hive.
The
wagon ride was somewhat bumpy, but they were moving slowly and could handle it.
While they rode, they conversed.
"Burgess,
did you ever have a girlfriend?" Colene inquired.
Contact
with a female hiver? It had been constant, when he belonged to the hive, since
all members updated regularly. There was no distinction between males and females
in mis respect.
"No,
I don't mean routine social dates and updates," Colene said. "I mean
going steady, falling in love, having sex, having babies, being a family, not
necessarily in that order."
Love?
Sex? Family? These were alien concepts.
"Okay,
let's get down to basics," Colene said, while Nona remained carefully
neutral. "Love is like being just so wrapped up in one person it changes
your whole life. Like me with Darius. Show him, Seqiro."
Suddenly
a strange, pleasant, encompassing emotion came, tinged with excitement and fear
and desire. Burgess had never experienced anything like it. His closest
approach was his devotion to the hive.
"No,
that's patriotism, not love," Colene decided. "Okay, so you don't
know love."
"Neither
do I," Nona said.
"So
let's tackle sex," Colene continued. "How does your kind do it?"
He
understood that what she meant was how floaters reproduced. They contributed to
the central nest, each blowing seeds of itself into the nutritive substance.
The males blew many seeds, the females few. When the seeds encountered their
opposites in the nest, they merged and began to grow. Eventually they became
large enough to leave the nest. Then they emerged and learned to float. When
they floated well enough, they were dispersed to other hives.
MODES 113
"Wow,
it really is a hive," Colene said. "No family life at all. No child
rearing. How do you stand it?"
It was
the way it was, and that was sufficient. However, the rearing of young floaters
did occur. It was spread throughout the hive. The little ones made contact
first with selected nurse-floaters, who familiarized them with the conventions
of the hive. Then they circulated more widely, learning more with each update,
until they were fully current. That was it; they were full members of the hive,
and would remain so until they lost air and expired.
"What
happens then?"
The
expiring hivers went to the nearest burial bog and let themselves sink in. It
was bad form to expire either in the main camp or on the plain, because then
the hive had to go to the trouble of moving or of burying them in dirt.
Colene
sighed, which was a way to express resignation. "I guess it's no worse
than what our kind does. We mostly pickle our dead and bury them in boxes. But
I'll bet you find life with us on the Virtual Mode more interesting."
It was
already more interesting.
Suddenly
it became too interesting. Through Darius' eyes they saw something rise up from
the ground. A pit worm! They had to be avoided!
The
wagon lurched as the horse skittered to the side. But the monster's snout
oriented on the man, and began to suck. Air whistled into that mouth, and a
short distance away there was a jet of air carrying out the exhaust. The
principle was similar to the way the floaters used air to float and to bring in
food or blow out stones. But here the suction was what counted, for the pit
worms swallowed their prey whole. Then they closed their aperture shells and
digested what they captured. A few days later they would blow out whatever
remained undigested. In the interim they were invisible, because their shells
covered the two ends of their burrows and dirt settled over them. A floater
could float over many without noticing. Since they did not hunt by day, it didn't
matter.
Darius
was drawn into the mouth. It was just a round hole, with dust sucking in. The
suction was so strong that
114 CHAOS MODE
the man
was in the mouth before he could flee. But he held his pole crosswise, so that
it came up against the snout. He hung on to it, though his feet were drawn into
the maw.
Burgess
knew that this was not enough. The worm would simply close its maw on the man
and withdraw into its hole, carrying him along. Then it would start digesting
his feet. The wooden armor wouldn't help, since the digestion was fluid and
chemical. Darius had to get free immediately. Burgess could do it.
Seqiro
picked up this assessment. Then the two human women were opening the wagon.
They let the back panel fall down so that it formed a ramp. Burgess could not
float up an incline, but he could float down one. He sailed out of the wagon
and over the ramp, flowing into the dirt beyond. Then he righted himself and
moved to the side, where the worm was already withdrawing into its hole,
carrying the man's lower body along. He moved up right next to it, poked his
outtrunk in next to the man, and started blowing. He shot a steady stream of
dirt and pebbles into the orifice.
Colene
and Nona, understanding what he was doing, got down and scooped more sand to
Burgess' intrunk, so that he did not need to move. Thus bolstered, he poured
more through, filling the worm.
Soon
the worm, realizing that it was sucking in the wrong substance, desisted. The
terrible draft died down, and Darius was able to wrench himself out of the maw.
"Thanks," he gasped as the worm disappeared and slammed down its
shell plate.
Thanks?
A member of the hive defended the hive and all its members. There was no other
way.
"Are
there more of these suckworms?" Colene asked. Her accompanying thought was
trying to place this monster among those she had seen in the pictures her
teacher Amos Forell had shown her, but she couldn't, quite. She thought there
had been a wormlike thing armored at both ends, but that was all.
There
were many. They tended to cluster, so it was bet-
MODES 115
ter to
avoid the region. Because they were hidden under (he dirt, it was hard to be
sure one was near until it lifted its shell and began sucking.
"But
trying to circle around something when we don't know where it is will take too
long," she protested. "It's not that far to the anchor site. We need
a better way."
"Also,"
Nona said, "there won't be any other predators, where there are
suckworms."
"What
alerts the suckworms?" Darius asked. Any weight on the ground close by, or
any disturbance. They were sensitive to vibrations and compression of the
ground. They remained hidden until the disturbance was : close; then they popped up to suck it in.
Darius
picked up a rock. "Then maybe this will do it." He threw the rock a
short distance ahead.
Nothing
happened. He threw another, with no reaction. But the third brought an
eruption. "So it's clear up to there," he said. "You folk get
back in your cage; I can . handle this."
They
helped Burgess into the wagon, and joined him there. They closed it up and
tuned back in on Darius' perception. He was throwing more stones, verifying the
safe route through before leading Seqiro there. ... - "Hey, horsehead," Colene asked. "Can you tune in
on the suckworms, so we know where they are more di-";. rectly?"
-..: In time, yes. Immediately, no. Their
minds are small and i foreign.
;7
Slowed by the necessity of checking the route with 4 stones, they proceeded at
a painstaking pace. Unable to .:' help, Burgess settled down to sleep, and the
women did too, depending on the horse to wake them if they were ;;; needed.
They lay on the dark floor on either side of Bur-i gess, where they were able
to reach up and touch a contact ^ point at need. This was not comfortable for
any of them ,|r-physically, but a certain rapport remained even when they ;J;
weren't touching, and that made it comfortable emotion-
£';ally.
Burgess was gradually coming to appreciate emotion; was ood
t0 feei
116 CHAOS MODE
MODES 117
JUST
how slow it was they didn't realize until the three were abruptly wakened.
Light was coming; it was dawn.
There
was sound. Burgess recognized it: hivers!
"Hey,
you out there, get a wiggle on!" Colene cried. "Hivers coming!"
"It's
chancy," Darius responded. "We have threaded an interminable bed of
worms, and there may be more."
Not
when light came; the worms did not suck by daylight.
"So
go, go, go!" Colene cried. "It can't be far to the anchor, and we
don't want to be trapped out here by the hivers."
The man
and horse broke into a run. The wagon ride got considerably bumpier. But there
remained some distance to go to reach the anchor point. Burgess had chosen it
for seclusion and convenience for himself, not considering how close it was to
the wilderness.
There
was a honk. That was a hiver, sounding alarm! Now they would come.
The
region of the anchor came into sight. Burgess verified it through Darius' eyes.
But the hivers were already closing in on it. They did remember where it was,
and would cut off the party before it got there.
"Damn!"
Colene muttered. "So close . . ."
"Burgess,"
Darius called. "Have the hivers ever encountered armor?"
No. It
was an alien concept.
"So
they won't be able to figure its weaknesses in a hurry?"
True.
They would blow sand and rocks at it.
"And
not try to interfere with the wheels?"
They
had never encountered wheels before.
"Suppose
we just charge right through mem?"
They
would get out of the way and blow rocks from the sides.
"Hear
that, Seqiro? We'll just gallop right at the anchor and through it. They won't
get in our way."
"But
swerve around the bigger rocks!" Colene called. "We don't want to tip
over!"
Indeed,
the wagon seemed about to fly apart. But they charged recklessly at the group
of hivers near the anchor. Rocks and sand struck the wood panels and bounced
off. Darius and Seqiro were struck too, but suffered no damage.
As they
came to the anchor, the hivers floated aside, not wanting to be struck. The
hivers continued to hurl dirt, but though it made for a choking environment, it
didn't stop the motion. They were almost to the anchor, moving at speed.
Then a
front wheel struck something. It jumped and came off. The axle dropped to the
ground and the wagon plowed into the dirt. The three of them inside were thrown
against the front panel. It broke loose and fell outward on the horse, while
the two women tumbled to either side and Burgess jetted frantically to keep
from being turned over on his top.
The
hivers, surprised by this display, halted their firing. But Burgess knew that
would not last long. He slid down off the panel and back onto the main body of
the wagon.
Darius
ran back and put his hands on the fallen axle. "Give me strength,
Seqiro!" he gasped. Then the axle came up so that it was level.
"Haul
it on through!" Darius cried.
The
horse lurched forward—and disappeared. But his harness still connected, and the
wagon moved. Darius staggered, hauling the axle—and disappeared too. So did the
front of the wagon. There was nothing there but sand and the circle of hivers.
"Move!"
Colene cried, getting to her feet. Nona got up .and started forward too.
The
hivers realized that the prey was getting away. They resumed blowing rocks. But
they were too late. Both disappeared, and the rocks bounced harmlessly off
sides of the wagon, which remained erect. Then the of the wagon disappeared,
with a line across it that H$teadity erased it backwards. Finally that line
reached Bur-
118 CHAOS MODE
gess,
and the wagon reappeared, with its back missing but resuming as the line moved
on behind.
The
axle dropped as Darius let go, his brief strength exhausted. He sat on the
ground, panting. Colene ran to him and flung her arms about his head and
shoulders as she dropped to her knees. She hauled the wooden helmet off and
brought his head in to her chest. "You poor, wonderful man!" she
cried. "Your arms must be just about yanked out by the roots."
Nona
came around to Burgess. She got beside him and put her hand on a contact point.
That was when he got the update so that he was able to make sense of the
expressions of the others; he had heard them but not properly understood them
before. Now it was as if he had always understood them.
Indeed,
he was understanding them more than before. Colene was hugging Darius, and
kissing him, and loving him, and Darius was loving the hug and kiss and her.
The emotion was of such intensity that it made Burgess himself want to love,
though he did not know how. He felt that he had been missing something
wonderful, all his life. But how—?
"Like
this," Nona said. She got down beside him, leaned forward, put her arms
around his top section, and touched her mouth to him, between two eye stalks.
"You have now been kissed."
It felt
very good, in an alien way.
THEY
diminished the wagon and the armor for man and horse, so that they could walk
free. But they did not walk. Darius and Seqiro had been up all night, doing
hard labor, and both were fatigued. So they slept while the women and Burgess
took care of the details and did some preliminary exploration. The plain
extended around them, uninhabited. But it might come to life at any time, and
the suckworms might come out by night. So they used poles to poke the ground
for worm shells, making sure it was safe. Then they made a campsite.
MODES 119
"Now
we must eat and drink only what we brought with us," Colene said.
But
there were fruit trees in sight, with ripe fruit. Bur-gess was satisfied to be
sustained by those.
"Nuh-uh,
airfoot. You got things to learn about the Virtual Mode, just as we did. Let me
show you." She stooped to pick up a rock. "Watch where it goes."
She threw it a short distance.
The
rock flew through the air and landed on the ground, exactly as it should have.
"Now
something we brought," she said. She took out a round bit of metal. 'This
is a coin from my reality. I can't spend it here, so I'll throw it away."
She did so.
The
coin stopped in midair and dropped to the ground.
Burgess
was surprised. The coin should either have landed beside the stone, or
disappeared as it crossed the boundary between Modes.
"Now
let's carry stuff across," Colene said. She picked up another stone and
held it out to him. "Hold this in your trunk, and we'll step across to
where that rock landed."
She
stepped and Burgess floated. They moved together across the invisible line.
Nona, standing to the side, disappeared.
The
scene did not change significantly. But the stone vanished. He had not dropped
it; it had just stopped being with him. "See? You can't carry something
from a Mode across the boundaries. Unless it's from an anchor Mode. And
look—where is that stone I just threw here?"
Burgess
knew where it was—but it, too, had vanished.
"See,
it didn't cross either. It stayed in its own reality," she explained.
They
crossed back. Nona reappeared. There on the ground beside the coin was the rock
Burgess had held in his trunk. And there beyond was the rock Colene had thrown.
. "We see the reality we're standing
in," Colene ex-plained. "But we can't go more than ten feet across
it. Be-cause then we step into the next reality, and leave the
120 CHAOS MODE
things
of this one behind. We can't take any of it with us. Now suppose you eat a
fruit, and cross the boundary?"
Burgess
understood her point. The fruit would vanish in the same manner as the rock,
leaving him unfed. But the things of his own Mode remained with him, if he
carried them. So his food had to be what they had brought in the wagon. Much
had been lost when the wagon started to come apart, but much remained.
"However,
we can go as far as we want to the sides," Colene said. "Because
these slices of realities are sort of two-dimensional. They have width and
height, but only ten-feet depth. So if you realty want to take a walk without
constantly changing Modes, go to the sides. And if you see a monster coming at
you, step forward or backward so you can pop out of existence before it reaches
you. Even if it's right in front, you can step into it, and vanish. It's
important to get your reactions in order, because which way you jump on the
spur of the moment can make the difference between life and death. Either way:
you don't want to jump into a reality you can't see, because there might be
another monster there, or a deep pit, or a forest fire. So you jump only when
you have to." She glanced at him. "Or fast-float. You know what I
mean."
Burgess
did. He moved back and forth across the boundary, carrying rocks, and shooting
them in various directions, until he understood exactly how it worked.
Nona
expanded a fruit, so that Burgess could make a full meal of a single item. Her
magic was a useful thing.
"Say,
I forgot," Colene said. "We're back on the Virtual Mode! You can do
all your magic now, Nona."
"Why,
that's right," Nona agreed, surprised. She rose from the ground, floating,
but she did not use air. She picked up Colene's coin and it became a fragment
of stone, and then a blade of grass. Burgess was amazed.
"Oh,
you ain't seen nothing yet," Colene murmured.
Nona
smiled. Then a tiny plant appeared before her, and grew rapidly until it was as
high as she was. It changed color, becoming a tree, and its trunk expanded
until it formed a wall. The wall extended to circle Burgess and
MODES 121
Colene,
and the top leaned over, forming a shelter like that of the closed wagon.
Openings appeared in the sides, showing the scene beyond—but every one was
different. One was a bright green landscape, with a brighter green sun shining
down. Another was a blue chamber with a red creature. The third was white sky
with black creatures crossing it. They were not shears, but alien things.
"Blackbirds,"
Colene said. "Birds are creatures who fly in my Mode. Most of them are
harmless to us, but they eat insects. You'll see stranger things than that,
soon enough, I'm sure."
The
birds turned and came directly toward the window. They passed through it, into
the chamber, and became twisting flames. The wall caught fire, and in a moment
it was a chamber of fire with a roof of smoke. But there was no heat.
Then
the fire lifted, forming a canopy above while the regular land showed below.
The canopy diminished, until it was only an insect, which flashed as it flew
away.
"A
firefly!" Colene exclaimed, delighted. Then, to Bur-gess: "That was a
show of illusion. Of things which are more apparent than real. Everybody in her
Mode can do it. They don't even consider it to be magic, because it hasn't any
substance. But it can be pretty impressive, for those who don't realize its
nature." She squeezed his contact point. "Of course you were never
fooled, were you, air-head?" Then she laughed at his confusion, but her
feeling was positive.
He
would have liked to see more of that "illusion," be-cause its nature
was hardly clear to him.
Then
the firefly returned. It hovered before Burgess' inflow trunk, and became a
small round rock. He touched his trunk to it, to suck it in, but it had no
substance. It was merely a discoloration of the air.
The
rock expanded into a boulder. Still it could not be touched. His trunk passed
through it without effect. It caught fire, but there was no heat at all. It
became a fall of water, flowing away across the ground, but had no wet-
&
BBSS. It simply did not exist, in all its forms.
s-j f J
122 CHAOS MODE
'There
you have it," Colene said. "Illusion is something that just isn't
there. But it looks so real you think it is there, until you try to touch
it."
Burgess
was impressed. The powers of these creatures were like none he had encountered
before.
"No,
the rest of us don't have magic," Colene said. "Only Nona. And
Darius, only his is different. He can magnify joy, and he can conjure. But it's
not safe to conjure on the Virtual Mode, because he can't tell exactly where
he's going. And he can't magnify my joy, because I'm depressive. So we won't be
seeing much of his magic soon. And I don't have any magic at all. Just maybe a
trace of telepathy that rubs off from Seqiro. Who isn't really asleep now,
because otherwise we wouldn't be understanding each other like this. We're a
mixed bag. Now you're with us, and I guess you can't do magic either, but you can
float and fire out jets of dirt, so you can do more than I can." Her
emotion turned negative as she finished. He wasn't sure why.
"Because
everybody else has special talents," Colene answered. "While all I've
got is depression."
Burgess
still could not understand that. There was a concept he thought would relate,
but he could not form that concept by himself.
"I'll
help you," Nona said. "It's that Colene has what she calls an
inferiority complex. But her inferiority is illusion. It isn't there."
"What
do you mean, it isn't there!" Colene protested. "I can't float, I
can't conjure, I can't do magic, and what little telepathy I can do is
laughable compared to Seqiro's power. I can't even be happy! So what is there
to recommend me?"
"You
are our leader," Nona said.
"I'm
what?"
"You
are the one of us with the most intelligence, creativity, determination, and
initiative. When there's an emergency, you are the one who takes charge. You
are the one for whom the Virtual Mode was started, and for whom
MODES 123
it
continues. Without you, the rest of us would not be here. We have talents; you
have the essence."
Yes,
that was it. The strongest member of the hive had a weakness that was illusion.
Something she saw that did not exist.
"You
agree with her, doubletrunk?"
Yes, he
agreed. His perplexity had been resolved.
Colene
shook her head, a gesture which indicated different things depending on the
emotion. "Wish / could!"
The
illusion still looked real to her.
Late in
the day the man stirred and the horse woke up the rest of the way. They
remained somewhat tired; the feeling in their bodies carried through with their
thoughts. But neither was concerned with this.
"Hey,
Colene, what is our course?" Darius asked.
"You
haven't decided on it?"
He
smiled. "Well, what do you think it is?"
"I
think we'd better just track on around the Virtual Mode until we find your
reality."
"By
day or night?"
"Day,
of course! We'll fall in a hole at night."
"So
we'd better start moving at dawn."
"I
agree."
Again,
Burgess saw the way of it. Colene had made the decisions, but attributed them
to Darius. It was the way she wanted it.
Nona
picked up a leaf and changed it into a piece of bread, which was one of the
substances they ate. Then she paused. "I am working from a substance of
the Mode we're in. That means it can't sustain us, even if I change its
nature."
Colene
nodded. "Probably right. We'd better not gamble. We'll stick to what we
brought with us."
Again
she had made the decision. At each turn, Burgess saw the truth of Nona's
statement.
"Oh,
stop it, airsnoot! It's just common sense, is all."
She was
the one with the ordinary sense, yes.
They
spent the night behind barricades, taking turns watching. At one point Darius
and Burgess were awake,
124 CHAOS MODE
and
Seqiro partly conscious, so that they could communicate. "This is just one
boundary away from your Mode, Burgess," Darius remarked. "There
should be others of your kind here,'yet I have seen nothing."
There
were floaters here. Their signs were all around. Burgess hadn't realized that
it mattered.
"There
are? Then why haven't they attacked?"
Because
the nearest camp was a distance away at the moment. Floaters ranged from region
to region, so as not to deplete any single area. In this Mode they had camped
here half a year before, but now were safely beyond. The remnant of their
ramparts was visible beyond the boundary Colene had demonstrated. Unless they
were quite unlike Burgess' former hive, none would range here for another half
year.
"So
I was worried for nothing! What about the suckworms?"
They
were surely all around. But the women had made sure there were none close by.
"So
actually the worms protect us, because anyone who comes after us is likely to
be nabbed by one of them first."
That
did seem likely.
"But
we'll keep watch anyway," Darius said. "No telling what we'll find
when we travel. Each Mode will be just a little different from the last, in
general nature, but the specifics can change dramatically. We can't ever afford
to let down our guard."
That
seemed wise.
IN the
morning they started out. They wanted to be careful, but they didn't want to be
too slow, so they moved along boldly. They remained alert, ready to change
course or to proceed with excruciating care when there was some hint of
potential trouble.
Darius
led the way, holding a staff made from a chip of wood from Shale. When he came
to a boundary, the forward end of the pole disappeared, being pushed into the
unseen reality. Then Darius disappeared, as if passing through a doorway in a
wagon. Then the rear end of his
MODES ! 25
pole
followed, as if being fed into an opaque sheet of water. If that pole did not
jerk or show any other sign of distress, Seqiro followed. He too vanished in a
linear fashion, seeming to be a headless horse, a two-legged horse, the
isolated tail of a horse, and finally no horse. If that tail did not twitch,
Nona followed. She carried a stick of her own on her shoulder, so that the end
of it followed her across the boundary. If the position of that end did not
change before it disappeared, Burgess followed. He saw his own outtrunk
painlessly cut off, and his own leading section. Then his central eye stalks
passed through, and it was his trailing end that disappeared. His canopy eye
patches helped verify that he remained intact, but they were normally used only
for tracking the spot contours of the ground. Behind him Colene walked, with
another pole on her shoulder. He kept one eye oriented always on that pole, and
if it did anything odd, he would advance just enough to blow out a stone to
alert Nona in the Mode ahead, then turn quickly, ready to blow out another
stone in the Mode behind. It seemed complicated, but it was just a chain of
cross-checks, so that they could all come quickly together in a central Mode if
they had to.
They
made good progress. Not only did the scenery slowly change as they crossed it,
as would be the case in any normal world, its nature changed. Trees were in
different spots in each reality, but of the same type—until he saw that their
species were shifting. Their leaves had been green, but they became blue. They
had been of average tree height; they became taller and thinner. Then their
leaves turned green again, but their height continued to grow.
Every
so often there was a gap. A Mode without trees. Or with twisted and dead trees.
Then the regular Modes would resume. What had happened to those treeless lands?
For a while
they found themselves in jungle, and had to retreat, because Burgess couldn't
navigate it. They retreated, and moved sideways along a suitable Mode, then
tried again, and managed to skirt the jungle. This, too, was a fairly abrupt
change, as if a few Modes had richer plant
126 CHAOS MODE
life
than their neighbors. What trace difference in their nature accounted for so
large a difference in their plants?
Sometimes
there were creatures. They were usually in the distance, but sometimes they were
close. Once there was a suckworm, but it was much smaller than the ones in
Shale, and could not harm them. This must be near the edge of their range. Any
creatures appeared suddenly when the boundary was crossed, and disappeared as
suddenly when the next boundary was crossed.
Then
there was a halt. Not an alarm; it was just that when he crossed the boundary,
the others were standing there waiting for him. Colene crossed after him, and
they stood aligned sideways instead of lengthwise.
The
three humans put hands on Burgess' contact points, so that he could be
completely current. "What's up, beardface?" Colene asked Darius
brightly.
"Sign
of civilization," he said.
Burgess
felt the thrill of alarm that went through the others. He discovered from their
surrounding thoughts that civilization meant that there was an organized
society, and that could be dangerous. They preferred to travel through wild
regions, because animals were less likely to bother them.
In this
case the sign was a pit. It wasn't wide or deep, so it would be easy to circle
around it and proceed, but Darius was concerned that it was artificial, which
meant that someone was digging it. He didn't want to encounter such a person,
if he could avoid it. Though nothing from a spot Mode could be taken across the
Mode boundaries, any harm they suffered in one would remain with them. Of
course Nona had the magic of healing, their thoughts clarified, but it was
better not to have to use that.
The
sensory line they were following indicated that they were on the route they
wanted; if they deviated from it too far, it would be harder to follow. Burgess
was learning to pick up the faint lightness of the direction; it indicated
where there was another anchor. He could find his way back to his own anchor by
tuning in on this, or forward to another anchor. It seemed that each anchor had
its ambi-
MODES 127
ence
extending across the Modes of the Virtual Mode, making it possible to travel
without getting lost.
They
decided to proceed with caution. Instead of maintaining a walking or floating
pace, they went in what Colene termed jerks. Darius stepped across, and Seqiro
waited a moment before following. That gave Darius the chance to change his
mind and step back if he deemed it wise, without banging into the one behind.
They
did go around the pit. It would have given Burgess trouble, though he could
have gotten out of it. It was not the kind made by floaters. They seemed to be
beyond the floater Modes now. Burgess felt a peculiar emotion as he realized
that; now he was truly in an alien realm.
There
were increasing signs of civilization as they continued. Then Nona called a
conference. "This is near Julia! My Mode," she said. "The hills
are starting to assume fractal form."
"You're
right!" Colene exclaimed. "It's your reality we're coming to. But do
we want to stop there?"
"No,"
Nona said. "They will want me to be queen."
"And
you'd still rather be hiking through nowhere with us, than queen at home?"
"Yes."
There was no doubt in Nona's mind; the certainty came to them all.
"I
suppose it's not surprising," Colene said. "Julia was the closest
Mode to Provos' Mode, when she let go her anchor. So maybe the anchors are in
the same order. Which means the next one beyond that will be Darius' anchor.
Then—" But she did not finish either word or thought.
"Then
you and Darius get off," Nona said.
"Yeah.
But what about you? When we started this, you and Burgess weren't along. In
fact, Seqiro wasn't along. So—" Again her thought was incomplete.
"I
want to explore the Virtual Mode," Nona said. "Since my magic works
on it, I feel reasonably safe. I would be satisfied to travel with Seqiro and
Burgess, if they were interested."
Colene's
shock of concern was intense. "Seqiro! How could I live without you?"
128 CHAOS MODE
"You
will have some decisions to make, Colene," Darius said. "You know
that it is no perfect life I can offer you in my Mode. I love you, but if I
knew that you would be happier elsewhere with Seqiro—"
"I
think I would die without you, Darius," she said seriously. "And
without you, Seqiro. But unless the others want to get off at the same anchor
Mode—"
Now the
horse spoke, without making any sound. / wish to remain with you, Colene. And
with you, Nona. It is my nature to desire the company of human girls.
Nona
smiled sadly. "It might be best if Burgess and I wanted to join you in
that Mode. But if I settle down, I should do it in my own Mode. Until then, I
hope to remain on the Virtual Mode. How do you feel, Burgess?"
This
was a surprising and confusing question. Originally it had seemed that the four
creatures were a unified hive, but now he understood that they were separate
individuals, and that this group was not permanent. That made it difficult,
because he needed a hive. A hive of two creatures was too small to be viable.
"Oh,
that's not a problem," Colene said. "Whenever someone vacates an
anchor, a new anchor appears, with a new anchor person. Just as you did. So
there'll always be five folk in the group, as long as this Virtual Mode exists.
But look, people: here we're off on a discussion, and we really don't need it
now. We can make our decisions when we get to Darius' Mode. Maybe we'll work
something out by then. Right now we know we're passing the Julia Mode, and we
don't want to stop there, so we'll just sashay on by, and Nona's our guide. We
can pick up speed, now, because Nona'11 know when there's danger. So let's put
her in front and move on."
Colene
had exercised her leadership again. Nona exchanged places with Darius, and they
proceeded at their full walking velocity. The Modes continued to vary, the
configuration of trees and grass constantly shifting. Sometimes they found
themselves in the midst of rain, and then as suddenly it would be sunny again.
But it was always day, and the same time of day, and the landscape shifted
MODES 129
only
slightly with each Mode, if at all. They chose a route which enabled Burgess to
float across fairly level terrain, traveling, as Colene put it, along a
contour. They discovered that it was possible for one of them to push him, on
slopes, so that he could ascend, and he could slow his descent by diminishing
his air so that his canopy dragged slightly. He was keeping the pace satisfactorily.
Until
they came to a wall. It angled across their route, evidently artificial. It was
twice the height of a man, and had bits of sharp stone embedded in its hard
surface. They avoided it by moving to the side, where it cut off. It looked solid,
extending all across the hill they were on and the gentle valley beyond, but
vanished when they crossed the Mode's boundary. Those boundaries made even the
most formidable barriers easy to pass.
But the
next Mode had its own wall, angled differently but just as extensive. They
avoided this also, by moving farther to the side. Then they came up against a
third wall, and this one was angled so that it was exactly crosswise— which
meant it extended along the width of their section of this Mode, and they could
not readily get around it.
They
halted again for a consultation. "Your folk responsible for this,
Nona?" Darius asked.
"They
could be," Nona agreed. "In Julia, we reversed the flow of magic, so
that it now touches women instead of men. But in other Modes it may not have
changed, and the despots may be doing unkind things to the land, or trying to
pen up the peons. It is the way their minds work. I think we should get past
this quickly and leave it far behind. I do not want to become the captive of
despots."
"None
of us do," Colene agreed. "They're mean jerks. Okay, I guess you can
fly over it, and Darius and I can put wood panels on it and climb over. But
what about Seqiro and Burgess?"
"We'll
have to build a hoist or a ramp," Darius said. "I think a ramp is
better, because Seqiro can walk up it himself." ' "But what about the other side?"
Colene asked. "That
130 CHAOS MODE
wall is
right up against the next Mode boundary, by the look of it; we'll be dropping
off into the unknown."
"We'll
check the next Mode, of course. We won't have to jump blind."
"And
what about Burgess?" she asked.
"Seqiro
can haul him up the ramp on a sledge or wagon."
They
got to work. Darius carved a wooden structure, a long ramp with supports, wide
enough for the horse. Nona flew up and over the wall, to check the next Mode.
She reported that it was clear, with a wall that wouldn't interfere with them;
they could set the ramp on the far side of this one without a problem. Darius
set the model ramp beside the wall, so that it aligned, running in the same
direction. Then Nona made it expand. She had already expanded the base of the
wagon they had used before, so that it was just large enough to support
Burgess.
Meanwhile
Colene was busy searching for rocks. "Come on, airfoot, help me," she
said, touching a contact point. "We want a good supply."
What
were they for? It was not possible to take the rocks across the boundary.
"Look,
you know how your hivers didn't just leave you alone? Well, whoever built or
magicked this wall isn't just going to sit by and let folks cross it. We're
going to see guards conning by on their rounds any time, and if we aren't
across yet, we're going to have to fight. If they use magic, Nona will have to
help us. But if they're peons, as seems more likely, stones will stop them.
That's what you're good at. So we'll have a good supply for you, and we can
throw them too. They'll work just fine, as long as we remain in this one Mode,
and once we're out of it, it won't matter."
Now he
understood. She was correct. He got to work finding rocks and sand, and storing
them in a wooden box she had gotten. By the time they had a good collection,
the ramp was almost full size. Nona's magic seemed to be stronger on the Virtual
Mode than it had been on Shale, so she could expand things faster.
MODES 131
Darius
walked up the ramp to the top of the wall. He set a wood panel on the wall,
making a safe platform. "Urn, I didn't realize this until just now: this
wall's only about two handspans wide at the top. Seqiro won't have room to
cross."
"What
do you mean?" Colene demanded. "He can just come up on this side, and
step across to the ramp on the other side, no problem."
"But
we have only one ramp. We're going to lift it over after Seqiro and Burgess
reach the top. So they have to be off it first."
"Oh."
Colene pondered a moment. "We'll just have to make a second ramp."
"I
suppose so." Darius stepped onto the panel on the top of the wall, making
sure it was secure.
There
was a chime. It seemed to come from the wall itself.
"Uh-oh,"
Colene said. "That's an alarm. I have a suspicion that we aren't going to
have time to carve and expand another ramp."
"True,"
Darius said. "We'll have to act now. Nona, -come up here and expand some
more panels for the top of the wall. Those are smaller, so they will be faster
to do. Colene, you hitch up Seqiro and Burgess and lead them up the ramp."
They
got to work immediately. Nona flew up to join Darius on the top, and began to
expand more panels. Colene hitched Seqiro's harness to the wagon and led the
horse to the base of the ramp. Darius came down, and the two of them borrowed
strength from the horse and heaved Burgess up onto the wagon. They put the box
of stones on the end of it, where Burgess' trunk could readily reach them.
There
was the sound of barking. Burgess recognized it from Colene's knowledge: it was
the noise made by creatures vaguely resembling the horse, but smaller, with
sharper teeth. "Just in time," Darius muttered. He got on the ramp
and hurried up to rejoin Nona.
"Okay,
horseface, keep your feet straight in line,"
132 CHAOS MODE
Colene
said. Burgess was able to understand her increasingly even when she wasn't
touching a contact point, and through her, the others. "Use my eyes; I'm
watching the ramp. Ignore all else. Darius and Burgess will guard us."
Burgess
hoped so. His position seemed precarious as the wagon tilted, being hauled up
the ramp. But he followed Colene's directions too, focusing only on what lay
behind.
That
manifested soon enough. Several creatures matching Colene's mental description
of dogs came charging along the wall, baying. Their sharp teeth showed at the
ends of their long snouts. He knew from Colene's mind that they would attack
savagely without hesitation, like land-bound shears.
He
oriented his trunk. As the first dog came within range, he fired a stone at the
white of its teeth. The stone struck, hard, and the dog made a squeal and fell
to the ground.
But the
next dog was already there. Burgess fired another rock, which struck the head
between the two matched eyes. That dog spun off to the side, stunned.
But
more were coming. They clustered so thickly that it was not possible to score
on each one, and his third stone missed. His wagon was now halfway up the ramp,
but the dogs were coming up the ramp too.
He
worked his trunk to the bottom of the box, reaching the sand. He sucked it in
and spewed it out into the faces of the three dogs on the ramp. Their eyes were
not on stalks, and could not be retracted, so were vulnerable to this. They
yelped and rolled off the ramp.
Colene
was now reaching the top, bringing Seqiro's head with her. "Step close,
keep your balance," she murmured. "Right up onto the wall, here, and
along it. We'll just keep going. There's nothing else in the world we need to
be concerned about, horsehead."
The
dogs were coming again. But now the length of the ramp between them and Burgess
was greater. He oriented his trunk, and when a dog came up, he fired the rock
at the animal's head. The dog cried out and fell from the ramp. So did the
next, when treated similarly.
MODES 133
But
then another creature came into sight. This was a human figure, similar to
Darius. That was surely not good.
"Nona,
we need your fire," Darius said from the wall. "Set fire to the
grass, so there's smoke."
A
fireball appeared at the base of the ramp. The remaining dogs yiped and
scattered. The grass and dry leaves caught fire, and smoke billowed. There was
an exclamation from the man beyond.
Now the
wagon was at the top of the ramp. Darius was there. "Steady," he
said, touching a contact point. 'There will be an imbalance as the wheels cross
the angle between the ramp and the wall. Stay quite still; don't react. I will
guide the wheels." He leaned over, putting his hands on the front of the
wagon.
It was
well that he had given the warning, because the wagon shifted and seemed to be
falling. But Burgess prevented himself from making a blast of air to right
himself. In a moment the wagon found a new equilibrium, and moved on forward.
It was on top of the wall. Darius heaved, making an adjustment to the rear
wheels, and then the motion stopped.
Burgess
was now on the wall, off the end of the ramp. Seqiro and Colene were beyond
him. Darius and Nona were behind him, also on the wall, which was now covered
by wood panels. But how were they going to move the ramp? It was too big and
heavy for them to lift from their awkward position on the wall.
"You
watch for enemy action, Nona," Darius said. "I'm going to conjure the
ramp to the other side."
Darius
held something in his hand. It looked like a tiny man. He stepped onto the
ramp, and lay down on it. Then he moved the little figure he held.
The
ramp disappeared. So did Darius.
Then
his voice came from near the wall, beyond Colene. "It's secure. Lead him
down." What had happened? Without direct contact with the man, Burgess
could not tell.
The
horse resumed motion. Burgess followed, borne along on his wagon. Then Darius
was there, quickly updating by touching a contact point, then helping (he
wheels
134 CHAOS MODE
over
the ridge. "It's clear, Nona!" he called. "Get off the
wall!"
The
wall disappeared. They had crossed into the next Mode. Now they were coming
down a ramp from nowhere. The remaining stones in the box were gone, as was the
sand; it was completely empty.
Nona
appeared, floating beside the wagon. "I don't think they could do the same
kind of magic," she said, touching a contact point. "That's why they
used the wall and dogs. But I'm sure they were dangerous. They were bringing up
some kind of device."
"Maybe
a cannon!" Colene said. "It's a good thing we got out of there."
"A
cannon?" Nona was as perplexed as Burgess was. To understand this he
needed direct contact with Colene.
Colene
made a mental picture of a huge metal tube, which Nona received and relayed to
Burgess. From that tube flew an object like a giant cup with a sealed, pointed
front, spinning as it flew. It crashed into a mountain, and the mountain became
a ball of flame.
Burgess
still wasn't sure what a cannon was, but concluded that he did not want to
encounter one. It seemed like an enormous outtrunk with no intrunk, primed with
stones that exploded.
They
reached the base of the ramp. Then Nona used her magic to reduce it slowly to a
size she could carry in her hand. She also reduced the wagon, so that Burgess
did not have to be lifted off; he floated off when it was low enough.
"How
did you move that ramp?" Nona inquired of Darius. "I thought you
conjured only people."
"I
conjure living creatures and the things they carry," he said.
"Otherwise I would arrive naked when I conjure myself. In this case I had
my icon embrace a sliver of wood representing the ramp, and then I embraced the
real ramp myself. So when I activated the icon and moved it, the ramp moved
with me. But this is a tricky, fatiguing device, and I wouldn't care to do it
in other than an emergency."
Burgess
realized that there was still much he had to
MODES 135
know
about these aliens. He hardly grasped what Darius had done, except that it was
magic akin to Nona's, and that it had enabled them to cross the wall before the
Mode creatures had overwhelmed them.
"Let's
find a place to camp," Colene suggested. "I've had enough strenuous
escapes for today."
Burgess
agreed.
They
moved on through the Modes of the Virtual Mode. Burgess followed Colene's
thoughts as they traveled. They saw other walls, but none got in their way. The
one had just happened to be in a position that blocked them. Probably the
creatures of that Mode had not realized that the party was foreign to that
Mode. The wall must have been part of a prison complex, or possibly the border
of a military zone.
They
crossed a low, grassy hill and a river came into sight. It looked broad and
deep. Along it were animals, standing in fields. Those were probably horses or
cows, Colene thought.
"Neither,"
Seqiro responded with his thought. "Their minds are other. But they are
passive, and will not bother us. We can ignore them."
"That's
good," Cofene said. "I wouldn't want to meet up with your kind. No
offense, horsefoot."
"My
kind would be dangerous."
"Yeah."
The
animals appeared and disappeared with each boundary crossing, but the river
remained constant, shifting only in minor detail. They approached it, and
finally stood at its bank. It seemed to have two channels, which interwove. The
water was clear, and red creatures Colene thought of as fish were visible.
"Are those safe? I mean, can we ignore them too, and go wading?"
Seqiro's
mind reached for the minds of the fish. "No. They are what you call
piranha, or similar."
"So
much for sweet nature!" Colene exclaimed, laughing. Her mind clarified
that piranha were vicious predatory fish, much like the shears of Shale or the
dogs of the walled Mode, but in the water.
136 CHAOS MODE
"Is
that an island?" Nona inquired, peering across the water.
"It
seems to be," Darius agreed. "It looks uninhabited."
"Why
don't we cross to that island?" Colene suggested. "Then maybe nothing
will bother us."
That
appealed to Burgess, and to the others. They were all tired of having to be
constantly alert for weird menaces.
Nona
got ready to expand the wagon into a boat. But Colene had an idea. "See if
you can make those fish afraid of us, Seqiro. Then maybe we can safely swim
across."
The
horse focused on the fish. Even without contact, Burgess felt the unease of
fear. After a while the fish swam away. Burgess floated out on the water, and
found no fish near. He dipped his intrunk and took in water, finding it sweet.
"Hey,
you can't have all the fun!" Colene cried. She got out of her clothes,
waded into the water, bent down, swept her hand across the surface, and
splashed at Burgess.
Even
without contact, he understood her intent. She was pretending to attack him, in
what in her thoughts was a game. This was one of the intriguing alien concepts
he was learning. So he aimed his outtrunk and splashed her back, but without
force.
"Oh,
yeah, squirtface? Take that!" She splashed him harder. He responded by
splashing her harder, but still not with force enough to hurt. That was
important.
Then
the others removed their clothing too, and waded in, splashing. Soon they were
all making such a commotion that the fish should have been frightened away even
without the fear the horse was sending them.
Burgess
became aware of a peculiar emotion. Then Nona touched him, and clarified what
it was: run. He was having fun. They all were. It was a pleasant experience.
Then he
floated and they swam across the river to the island. The Modes changed several
times, and the horse had to refocus each time to put fear in the fish, but
otherwise there was no difficulty. When they reached the island
MODES 137
it was
still uninhabited, and still guarded by vicious fish. That was ideal.
They
had their evening meal and made a shelter. They decided that this night they would
not have to keep guard, because it was unlikely that anything would intrude on
this island. In any event, a Mode boundary traversed the length of the island,
so they could quickly cross it if they needed to. They felt as safe as it was
possible to feel, on the Virtual Mode.
Burgess,
despite the awkwardness this travel through hills and forests entailed, and the
problems occasioned by organized alien species, was coming to like it here.
—
CHAPTER 7
CHAOS
pOLENE
woke refreshed. The past two days of ^"travel had been wearing, but they
had succeeded in getting out of Shale and most of the way to Julia, and maybe
two more days would bring them to Darius' home Mode. If they were going in the
right direction. She suddenly realized that they might not be, because they had
come from Julia to reach Proves' Mode, and that had been replaced by Shale.
They should have gone the other way to reach Darius. This direction might be
leading back to Earth. If the arrangement of the anchors was the same. There was
no guarantee of that, because everything changed when an anchor did. So they
would just have to keep on traveling, and if Darius wasn't the next anchor,
well, maybe it was for the best. Because she was in the throes of an emotional
impasse. She loved Darius and Seqiro, but she also liked Nona, and Burgess too;
they were all good folk. She didn't want to give any of them up.
There
was also that business of not actually being able to marry Darius, because his
wife was the one he had to draw joy from. He would have to marry Prima, whose
joy would never expire, and have Colene for his mistress. Yet that too might be
problematical, because there were plenty
CHAOS 139
of
juicier girls than herself available, and Old Enough too. Darius loved the look
and feel of young women, and who was she to deny him that? So their arrival at
his home Mode would be a time of decision, in several ways, and she wasn't yet
ready for those decisions. As long as they remained on the Virtual Mode, those
decisions could be postponed, maybe.
So they
would breeze on by Julia, where Nona didn't want to be queen, and see what they
came to next. If it was Earth, well, they could breeze on by that, too, because
there was nothing there for her, anymore. She had only just barely gotten away
from there, last time; her folks had pretended to understand, then had tried to
get rid of her anchor so as to trap her there. They had thought it was her shed
next to the little dogwood tree, which she called Dogwood Bumshed, so they had
taken that away. But an anchor wasn't a thing, it was a place on a world, and
also a person of that world. So she had to get together with her anchor place,
on Earth; no other Earth resident could use it, and she couldn't enter the
Virtual Mode from anywhere else. But she remained mad as hell about her folks'
betrayal. They had had police there and everything staking it out. They might
still have it staked out, since they had seen her pass through it and now knew
it wasn't any teenage flight of fancy. So she didn't want to go there again,
for sure.
Yet she
was sorry, too, because on another level she did love her folks, and knew they
loved her. Her mother was an alcoholic, and her father a philanderer, but they
had both tried to straighten out when she, Colene, disappeared. Probably they
wouldn't be able to maintain the straight life for long, but their effort was
touching. At least now they knew that Colene wasn't dead, she was just
elsewhere, and happier than she had been at home with her shell of a life. If
she had had to stay on Earth, they would have lost her for sure, because she
would have killed herself. Somehow. Eventually. She had been playing at
suicide, really, scratching her wrists, but there were more effective ways.
140 CHAOS MODE
When she
got really serious about it, she would have found a way.
But
here on the Virtual Mode she was—dare she think it?—happy. She liked the
company she kept, even with problems. In fact, she sort of liked the problems
too. When they worked together to get over a wall, or fend off attackers, she
really felt with it and alive. She was part of a going concern, accomplishing
something worthwhile. Her life counted. That was the key: it made a difference
to the universe whether she lived or died, on the Virtual Mode. In contrast to
how it was on Earth.
She got
up. Darius was still asleep beside her, and Nona on his other side. The thing
about Darius was that when he slept, he really did sleep. He didn't try to feel
her up in the dark, and he never touched Nona at all. Not even when Seqiro
slept all the way, so that there was no mental contact. He had integrity, and
it was his pride and her frustration. Because she knew how much he liked women.
Because she knew that she lacked that fundamental honesty. She had proved it by
checking on him, pretending to be asleep so she could watch him. Anything he
did to her, he did openly while they were both awake, like tickling her on the
butt to make her let go of him; and anything he did to Nona, he did in Colene's
presence, like helping her keep steady on the wall. She knew that he did not
try to check on her similarly, and wouldn't even if she were with another man.
He was so damned straight she felt inferior. He was more of a man than she
deserved. She would have felt really insecure about that, except that he said
he loved her, and he wouldn't He.
She
crawled out from the shelter. The dawn was forming, and it was such a splendor
that she paused for a moment in awe. She had never been one to ooh and aah at
the sunrise or sunset, but now she realized that she had never seen it in its
wilderness glory. Other mornings had been cloudy or mixed, but this one was
perfect, and shades of purple, red, and gold were spreading across the
irregular pattern of clouds, with scintillating sunbeams between. This was a
natural world, unpolluted by the
CHAOS 141
smoke
and light of man's designs, and it shone with preternatural clarity in the
cleanness of the new day. Maybe it was her fancy that made it so, but it was
nevertheless wonderful.
She
doffed the slip Nona had made for her, and walked down to the edge of the
water. The piranhas were there, no longer repelled by broadcast fear, but she
could handle them. She focused her mind and sent a blast of fear and rage
dredged from the depths of her old, buried life on Earth. The fish scattered.
She smiled, and dipped chill water to splash on her bare body. She could back
the fish off only a few feet, compared to Seqiro's few hundred feet, but she
was just a toddler in telepathy. It was great even to have that little bit, and
maybe it would grow if she kept practicing.
Just
how far could she reach, if she tried her hardest? She had been able to
communicate with others, one on one, when she had to, but that had been mainly
in emergencies. She had gotten stronger, because at first her ability had been
so slight she couldn't be sure it was working at all. But she had never tried
to measure it. Seqiro could even reach across the Modes, when he tried. He had
done so when they first met, guiding her in to find him. Of all the things she
could have dreamed of, a friendly telepathic horse was the best. When she was
with Seqiro, she felt safe, not only physically but emotionally, because his
mind constantly embraced her consciousness. That banished her suicidal aspect.
But the
time might come when Seqiro wasn't with her. If she settled down on some basis
or other with Darius, and the horse preferred to keep traveling the Virtual
Mode with Nona, Colene would have to let him go. She knew she was selfish,
wanting man and horse, and she would have to chose. Nona would be a more than
adequate consolation prize for whichever one Colene didn't choose. Nona would
rather actually have the horse. So Colene might have to get by on her own
telepathy, and it was important to know just what its potential was.
She
took a mental breath, oriented her mind, and hurled
142 CHAOS MODE
her
thought out just as far as she could. ANYBODY OUT THERE?
She
waited. Probably she had projected only about ten feet, not even crossing a
Mode boundary. But it had sure felt as if she were hallooing across
mountaintops.
Then
there came an answer. HUNGER.
Colene
felt a chill. She recognized that thought. It was the mind predator that had
attacked Proves, and then later found Colene, probably because she had been
with Provos. They had had to get her off the Virtual Mode to escape it. It had
evidently gone elsewhere, thinking her forever lost to it—but now she had
foolishly alerted it to her restored presence. And she wasn't close to an
anchor. Oh, folly!
What
could she do? She didn't know. She knew she couldn't fight it; the thing was
too powerful and awful. It fed on minds the way a cat fed on mice. She was
lost.
But she
had to try. She lurched up and ran back toward the tent. "Darius! Seqiro!
The mind thing's after me again!"
The
others came awake. Their minds linked. "Can you hold it off?" Darius
asked.
"No!
It's way too strong!"
"But
maybe we can hold it off," he said. "If we link wills and resist
together."
Then it
was as if she were at the center of a tug-of-war. On one side the mind predator
was pulling her into its dark maw; on the other, her friends were pulling her
toward the light. But the predator was stronger; she felt herself being slowly,
inexorably drawn into the horror.
"It's
stronger!" she gasped. "Let me go! So you won't be drawn in too! Get
away from it."
"No,"
Darius said. "You are ours."
"But
I brought it on myself! I asked for it! I sent out a call, and it found me! I
was a fool."
"Shut
up," he said, seemingly from a distance. "Burgess, you seem stronger.
Can you resist it?"
Burgess
thought he could, because his mind was not as open as theirs, and was
different.
Darius
picked Colene up physically and carried her to
CHAOS 143
the
floater. He set her two hands on Burgess' contact points. The pull of the mind
predator weakened, but did not let go.
"Can
you carry her?" Darius asked Burgess.
For a
time, the floater thought.
Darius
put Colene on Burgess' top, spread-eagled, her hands grasping contact points,
her feet braced against other points. She was naked, but it didn't matter. The
mind predator was another stage weaker. Her four connections to the floater
were somehow channeling her mind through his, and filtering out the mind
predator. But the monster still lurked, balked only for the moment, by no means
defeated. Like an ocean dammed back by a sand castle, it waited, and pressed
forward its tidal waves, certain to prevail in the end.
"Stay
there," Darius told her. "Keep resisting it. We'll get you
safe."
With
most of her mind and will she staved off the monster. Peripherally she was
aware of the others breaking camp and traveling on. Burgess carried her,
blasting through so much air that the heat of it warmed her. He moved across
the water and through Mode boundaries, but the siege of the mind predator never
eased; it had invaded the Virtual Mode, and she could not escape it as long as
she was between anchors. She knew that the others were trying to get her to
Nona's anchor, but she didn't know whether they would succeed in time. The
power of the predator was dreadful, and she could oppose it only feebly, only
while she focused her whole will. When her mind wandered, the predator pressed
closer. What would happen when, fatigued by the effort of resistance, she
slept?
Yet her
will could not remain firm enough, long enough, even when she was awake. Was
there any point in fighting the inevitable? Wasn't it better just to succumb
now, instead of suffering the pain of the continued struggle?
But
that was the predator's thought, not hers. And this thought was from Burgess,
who was aware of her plight without being able to comprehend its nuances.
Because of that objectivity, he understood what the predator was
144 CHAOS MODE
doing:
trying to make her capitulate without fighting. That could only be because it
feared she would escape him if she staved him off long enough.
"Thanks,
Burgess," she said. "I won't let it trap me that way. I'll fight just
as long as I can."
There
was anger, and she realized that it was from the predator. It didn't like being
balked, even to this extent. Still, she felt her ability to resist draining out
of her, as if she had cut a vein in her wrist and the blood was flowing in a
thin steady stream to the floor. How long would it be before she drained too
far, and lost her strength, and was overwhelmed? A day? An hour? A minute? She
didn't know, but feared that whatever her maximum time was, it would take
longer for them to bear her out of the Virtual Mode. She was doomed.
Funny
thing: she was suicidal, yet now she didn't want to die. Because her suicidal
impulse was back on Earth, when she had nothing worth living for. Here on the
Virtual Mode she had Darius and Seqiro, and she wanted to live for them. So she
wasn't suicidal now. What an irony, that this nemesis was attacking her on this
same Virtual Mode that gave her reason to live! Had it come after her on Earth,
it could have had her without resistance. But it seemed it couldn't pass
through the anchors. It was the reverse of the rest of them; instead of being a
creature of an anchor Mode, crossing the imitation territory of the Virtual
Mode, it was a creature of the Virtual Mode barred from the portals of the
anchors. Where did it come from, and what kind of thing was it?
Suddenly
she was tempted to go find it, to satisfy her curiosity. Surely it was a
magnificent entity! All she had to do was let go ...
But
that was the mind predator's thought, Burgess reminded her. She must not take
it for her own.
Colene
rallied her determination again. The predator kept trying to trick her, which
meant it was worried. That was a good sign. But she was worried too, because
these were merely little waves she was deflecting, not the tide itself. The
dark water was rising, and her little sand castle
CHAOS 145
seemed
increasingly insecure. Was the thing merely playing with her, teasing her,
allowing her to think she could escape, when actually she had no chance?
That
was the predator's thought, Burgess indicated.
Damn!
She kept being tricked, being seduced into defeatism. She was too ready to
believe she was lost—and that was her own thought.
She
hung on, physically and mentally, falling into a daze. And gradually,
insidiously, her reality shifted, and the horror loomed.
"I
can't make it!" she cried at last. "Stop the motion! I'm fading
out!"
Darius
came and lifted her off the floater. "You're tired, Colene," he said
reassuringly. "You can make it. We're going to Julia, where we can lose
that thing, as we did at Shale."
"But
it's creeping up on me!" she insisted. "It's going to get me! The way
the fire got those firemen!"
"What?"
"Oh,
that's right, you don't know about any of that," she said, babbling, just
wanting to hold his attention, because it was all she had to cling to.
"Back on Earth, before my time, but I read about it somewhere, a real
horror story. There was this big fire in the dead of winter, it was way below
freezing, maybe down around zero Fahrenheit, and these three firemen got
trapped way up high on a ledge on a building, and the fire was coming for them,
and no one else could reach them. They could only get one fire hose to play on
that section of the fire, and it wasn't enough, and the poor firemen were going
to get burned up. But then someone had a bright idea, and he said, 'Play the
water on the firemen!' and they did, and that kept them cool and wet so the
fire couldn't bum them. And the fire raged all night before they got it under
control, but all night they kept a steady stream of water on those trapped
firemen, protecting them from the heat. And in the morning they got a closer
look—and the three firemen were frozen stiff."
"I
don't understand," he said.
146 CHAOS MODE
"The
fire was hot, see, but the night was cold, and water made it colder. So that
water made it too cold, but they couldn't hear the firemen cry, amidst the roar
of the fire, and they killed those three men, just trying to save them. Just
the way you're killing me, just trying to save me. Because my body may be
getting carried along, but the predator is reaching my mind, and by the time
you get me to Nona's anchor, I'll just be a frozen husk, and what's the pointr
"But
we have to help you!" he said.
"There's
got to be a better way."
He
nodded. "Yes. I have a better way. 1 will hold you close." He put his
hands to his clothing, stripping it rapidly off.
"But
you don't need to do that," she protested. "Just hold me as you are,
Darius!"
"This
way is better," he said, stepping into her, naked. His strong arms closed
around her, drawing her in crush-ingly close. She felt his body growing hot.
"Darius,
what are you doing?" she cried.
"I
am getting close to you," he said, bearing her back and down to the
ground. His knee wedged against her knees, to force her legs apart.
"But
I'm too young for this! You never touch me, because—"
His
face came down on hers, stifling her protest with a savage kiss. "It isn't
as if you haven't had it before," he said, and shifted position on her.
She
tried to push him off, but he was too heavy. She tried to fight him, but he was
too strong. Suddenly this man she loved had become a monster, stealing what she
would gladly have given him at another time. He was raping her—the one thing
she couldn't stand.
Colene
screamed. Her whole energy of fear and loathing went into it.
Then
she found herself riding Burgess, yanking at his contact points. It had been a
bad dream. As she should have known, because Darius would never try to rape
her. It was beside the point that he would never have to.
CHAOS 147
Nona
came to her. "What is it?" she asked solicitously.
"The
mind predator—it sent me a bad dream," Colene said. "I'm sorry I
screamed."
"We
are getting closer to my anchor," Nona said. "There you will be
safe."
"But
you don't want to go there! We were going to pass it by!"
"We
won't stay," Nona said. "Just long enough to get the mind predator
away from you."
"You're
awful nice," Colene said, relaxing. "Nicer than me." She let her
gaze go unfocused as she rested her head on Burgess' central hump. There was an
eye stalk near, which turned to check on her every so often. There was a time
when that might have freaked her out, but now it was reassuring. As long as she
was close to Burgess, the mind predator was held somewhat at bay.
She saw
the realities change as they passed through the boundaries. Trees popped in and
out of existence, and sometimes animals too. The weather changed from Mode to
Mode. One was foggy, so that they proceeded through an almost nightlike
opacity. It went on and on, until she realized that they must have turned, and
were traveling crosswise, remaining in a single Mode. Why was this?
Or
could it be Julia? Could they have passed through Nona's anchor, and her Mode
happened to be foggy, so they had to keep plowing through it? Then Colene was
safe, and the mind predator couldn't get her.
They
came to a building, and went in. Inside there were rows of seats. Pews. It was
a church! Colene took a seat near the rear, and the rest quickly filled in.
Then the service started. There was music: the first gentle strains of the
Wedding March.
Colene
felt a qualm. What was she doing at a wedding? Who was getting married? There
was something wrong about this. But she seemed to be the only one concerned.
Then
she saw Darius at the front. He was dressed in a
148 CHAOS MODE
suit
and looked unbearably handsome. He was the Bridegroom!
And
here was Colene, way back buried in the audience. She wasn't the one he was
marrying.
The
music intensified as the Bride appeared. She was escorted by an older man, who
reminded Colene oddly of her own father, and she was radiantly beautiful.
Colene
forced herself to look at the Bride's face, knowing who it would be. And it
was: Nona. Nona was marrying Darius. Exactly as Colene's nightmare back in the
Earth Mode had showed it. Lovely, sweet, gentle, talented Nona, the ideal bride
for any man, especially one who had strong magic of his own.
Women
around Colene began to cry. It was something women did at weddings. It was
sheer foolishness. But Colene was crying too. Not from any appropriate fancy.
She was weeping because she was losing the man she loved. Maybe in time she
could have married him, but she was too young while Nona wasn't. Yet even if
Darius had been willing to wait, why would he take Colene when Nona was so much
better?
The
Bride swept up to the Groom. The music faded. The accompanying people peeled
away like the gantry from a rocket about to take off. The man who had walked
Nona down the aisle went to sit in the front pew reserved for the Bride's
family, beside a woman who could have been Colene's mother. Who should have
been. This whole wedding should have been Colene's!
The
Ceremony commenced. Colene was too lost in misery to pay attention to the
words. All that she might have dreamed of, gone instead to Nona!
Then it
was done, and the Groom kissed the Bride. They were the perfect couple, and it
was the perfect kiss.
What
was left for Colene, except to die?
Colene
screamed. This time her whole energy of despair went into it.
She
found herself riding Burgess, clinging to the contact points. It had been
another bad dream. She should have realized that it wasn't real, because
weddings did not just
CHAOS 149
happen
from nowhere. But the dream had carried its own conviction, and she had not
questioned it, until the doom of her romance seemed final.
This
time it was Darius who came. "Thing's getting to you?" he asked,
concerned.
"It
sure is," she said, trying to smile bravely.
"What
is it like?"
She
knew he was just trying to divert her from the horror of the mind predator, to
make her feel better. But it helped, so she answered. "It made me think
you were trying to rape me."
"I
would not do that!" he protested.
"I
know. You wouldn't have to." She tried to smile, but knew it wasn't coming
off. "Then it made me think you were marrying Nona."
"No,
you are the one I wish to marry. If only—"
"If
only I had boundless, renewable joy to give," she said sadly. "But I
don't, and I never will. Maybe you should marry Nona."
Now
Nona appeared. "What?"
"Maybe
you have the kind of joy he needs," Colene said relentlessly. "I
mean, you can do all these other kinds of magic, so why not that? Multiplying
joy?" She looked at Darius again. "Why don't you draw from her, and
send it out, the way you do, and see how it is?"
"Colene,
I don't want to marry Darius!" Nona protested. "I respect him as a
man, but I respect you too, and I would never—"
But now
Colene's suicidal urge was manifesting. "Go ahead, Darius. Do it. Draw
from her, and send it out. See if it's good."
"But—"
he started, seeming out of sorts.
"Find
out," Colene insisted. "So you know. So we all know. Is she someone
you could marry?"
Darius
looked at Nona. "I suppose I could check. But you have to understand that
this is an unsettling procedure. I take all of a woman's joy, and then I
multiply it and send it out to all present, including her. So she gets most of
it back. But never quite all. So that in time she becomes in-
150 CHAOS MODE
evitably
depleted. That is why I can not marry for love. I have to marry only for joy, and
when it is gone I have to divorce her and marry a new one who has not been
depleted."
Nona
looked at Colene. 'This is not the kind of magic I know. I do not think I would
be successful at it."
"But
you don't know that," Colene said. "You can't know until you try it,
can you? You didn't know you could make fireballs, until you tried. So don't
you want to know? You can find out just like that."
"But
what would it prove?" Nona asked.
"It
would prove you have the power of joy," Colene said. "Or that you
don't."
Nona
came to a conclusion. "It would be easier to demonstrate that I lack this
power of joy," she said. "Darius, test me."
"I
see no point in this," he said.
"Do
it," Colene said grimly.
He
looked at Nona, who looked back at him. Both looked at Colene. Then Darius took
Nona in his arms and pressed her close in, as close as was possible. It looked
like a love embrace. But it wasn't. How well Colene knew it wasn't! It was a
terrible kind of taking, despite the good that it did for the community, in
Darius' Mode.
He drew
from her. "Oh!" Nona gasped, appalled, seeming to wilt. He turned her
loose, and she leaned against a tree, reeling.
Then he
sent out the joy. Colene felt it, suddenly being much improved. And Nona felt
it too, recovering. But she looked shaken.
"So
what's the verdict?" Colene demanded. "How is she?"
"I
feel the same," Nona said. "But that—that was an awful experience. My
very being—"
Colene
bore on Darius. "Tell me."
"It
is too soon to be sure," he said, seeming surprised.
"Not
with Seqiro, it isn't. Horseface, is her joy depleted?"
No.
CHAOS 151
"So
she can take it without losing joy," Colene said. "She's a
cornucopia, always full."
Darius
stared at Nona. 'This is my impression. You have some magic of this type."
"So
you could marry her for love, and not deplete her," Colene said
victoriously. But she tasted the ashes.
Nona's
eyes widened. "I never thought—but perhaps—"
Darius
nodded. "It could be done."
And
Colene knew that she had lost again. Because Nona could win Darius' love
without even trying. The Wedding Scene was feasible. Once they sorted it
through and realized how much sense it made. Colene, lacking both magic and
joy, could not cut it. She was doomed.
Then
Colene was screaming again—and again found herself riding on Burgess, holding
the contact points. It had been yet another bad dream, more plausible than the
others.
This
time it was Seqiro who checked on her. Your mind goes opaque when the mind
predator gains control. What was the vision this time?
"I
dreamed that Darius tested Nona, and she had enough joy. You know, she wasn't
depleted, even a little. You verified that, by checking her emotion before and
after. So she could marry Darius, and be his ideal wife, because of the joy and
because she's beautiful and nice and obliging and magical and all. I mean, why
should he want a twisted underage thing like me, a vessel of hurt and
depression, when he can have a wonderful creature like her?"
But he
does not wish to marry her, and she does not wish to marry him.
Colene
laughed bitterly. "Darius would love to have an affair with her, because
she's got the universe's most ideal body and she's a good person. But she
wouldn't just do that without marriage. So he would do the honorable thing, and
marry her."
Yes, he
would. But not if she did not wish it, and she does not. She likes him as a
figure of competence and ad-
152 CHAOS MODE
venture.
She does not wish to settle into marriage with him any more than with a man of
the Julia Mode.
Colene
knew that was true. Nona really had no designs on anyone. She just wanted to
explore the Virtual Mode forever. But she was such a luscious thing that men
were simply not going to leave her alone. And the closest man was Darius.
Sooner or later the fox was going to notice the goose. This was the nature of
things.
True.
Propinquity causes interest in members of your species. He will become
increasingly interested in her, and that will bring her return interest. The
passage of time makes this inevitable.
"And
it will happen before I get old enough," Colene said. "Even if I
could be old enough right now, I couldn't compete with her. My only hope is to
get us to Darius' Mode right away, with no delay. But we have to stop at Julia,
because of this damned mind predator, and that delay's going to be fatal."
Yes,
that seems to be the case.
"Oh,
Seqiro, let's you and I just gallop off somewhere and be free!" she cried,
knowing her wish was vain. "You don't care if I'm a vessel of dolor."
/ don't
know where we would go.
"Just
anywhere! Anywhere far away from here! Maybe we can outrun the mind
predator."
We can
try. Get on my back.
She
climbed off Burgess and climbed onto Seqiro's back, using the harness to get up
there, because his back was well above the top of her head. Then he started to
move, cutting away to the side, across a Mode boundary, and farther to the
side. He broke into a trot, and then a canter, and finally a full gallop. Soon
they were lost in a jungle, where the ground was almost clear under hugely
spreading trees. No one could find them here!
"This
is great, Seqiro!" Colene exclaimed. "Do you like it as well as I
do?"
There
was no answer. The horse slowed to a walk, picking his way between the trees.
CHAOS 153
"Hey,
what's up, horseface? Why don't you answer me?"
He just
kept on walking.
Colene
felt a small thrill of concern. Was something wrong? She reached for his mind
with hers, using her own telepathy—and found nothing.
Alarmed,
she put her whole mental force into it. Seqiro! But still there was no
response.
She
climbed down and jumped off. Seqiro stopped walking. She went to the horse's
head, putting her hands on his nose to compel his attention. Seqiro—where is
your mind?
The
horse merely stood there. There was no response from his mind. Indeed, all her
mind found was dull equine thoughts of vague hunger and awareness of her hands.
He was waiting for her to give her next command.
Seqiro had
become an ordinary horse. His telepathy was gone, and with it his seemingly
human intelligence. The major companion of her life on the Virtual Mode had
become a mere animal.
"Oh,
Seqiro!" she said, the tears coming. "I never meant for this to
happen!" Now she realized that she had been concerned about the wrong
thing. Darius would not betray her. But if Seqiro had lost his telepathy, so
that he could no longer draw on her human intelligence and became equivalently
smart himself, her life on the Virtual Mode would become chaos. Seqiro linked
them all, forging them into a perfect group, or hive. She had become so
accustomed to that mental linkage that now, without it, she felt horribly naked
and inadequate. Which was an exact description of her condition.
"Without
you, I don't want to live!" she cried. "Your mind sustains me. You
were never just a horse. I can't stand to have you this way."
Seqiro
lowered his head and began to graze.
Colene
wept.
She
found herself riding on Burgess. This time she hadn't screamed, but it had been
another bad dream. The
154 CHAOS MODE
implacable
siege of the mind predator remained, still inching up on her consciousness.
"And
what if I think about you, Burgess?" she asked. "Will you, too, turn
bad?"
Burgess'
intrunk came up. It started sucking air. It grew larger, and more air flowed
in. Then it oriented on her head. Suddenly the suction became overwhelming. She
was ripped from her hold and drawn into the internal void.
Yes,
this was her Burgess nightmare. Only this time she knew it for what it was. So
she flowed with it, letting it happen. That made it easier.
In a
moment she was shot out through the outtrunk. She flew through the air in an
arc. Then she saw the ground coming. It was time to get out of this dream,
before she made a bruising landing. But she couldn't.
She
crashed into the ground headfirst. Her neck broke, and her skull cracked open.
Red blood and gray matter got scrambled with brown dirt and green grass. She
was dead, of course, and not prettily. Well, that was one way to end her
travail.
The
others hurried across. "Colene!" Nona cried. "Are you all
right?"
Here
she was, with her brains stirred into the ground, and the idiot asked that?
"She's
unconscious," Darius said. He got down and wedged his arms under her body,
picking her up. Chunks of brainy dirt fell out of her skull and plopped on the
ground.
"Is
her mind whole?" Nona asked, concerned.
No, it
was only about two-thirds mere; the rest was in a dirty gray pile on the
ground.
She is
conscious, Seqiro thought. But unable to speak or move.
"I
must heal her!" Nona said. She embraced Colene, pressing Colene's head to
her bosom.
Darius
would rather have that treatment, Colene thought wryly. She herself had hugged
him so, when he was worn out from hauling the wagon through the Mode anchor,
but
CHAOS 155
she
simply lacked the volume and quality of upholstery Nona had. And of course she
lacked the magic of healing, along with all other magic. But this was no good
for Nona to do, because Colene's messed-up brains were leaking out onto her
nice clean blouse.
Then
Nona's magic took hold. Colene felt herself healing. No, don't do it, she
wanted to cry. Let me die in peace. That will solve everything!
But her
brains sloughed off the dirt and formed back into their natural convolutions.
The crack in her skull diminished into a crevice and healed over, and her
blood-sodden hair rinsed itself clean and became its normal lusterless brown.
She was whole again.
She
opened her eyes. "What happened?" she asked. She knew what had
happened, but wanted to ascertain how they had experienced it.
"You
fell off Burgess," Darius said.
"And
bumped your head," Nona added.
You
were unconscious, Seqiro thought.
Burgess
had tried to catch her with a trunk, but had only succeeded in slowing her
fall.
That
was all? No flying through the air, no splattered brains? Obviously not. She
had suffered yet another bad dream. Even though she had known it was a dream,
she had somehow come to believe in it. She hadn't been blown through Burgess'
trunk; it was laughable to think she could even fit, since small stones were
the largest things he could handle. And that business about her brains falling
out! She had a gruesome, self-destructive imagination. What else was new?
But now
she saw that there was a pattern to these bad visions. Whoever she focused on
became the object of the next bad scene. If she focused on two, then they both
turned bad- There was no protection in numbers.
So how
could she protect her friends from her warped dreams? Because she knew they
were all good folk, not deserving of her foul imagination. Darius would never
rape anybody; Nona would never try to hurt Colene, whether by marriage or anything
else; Seqiro would not
156 CHAOS MODE
turn
dumb unless caught in a Mode that prohibited telepathy, which seemed unlikely;
Burgess would not suck up anyone through his trunk. They all meant well, and
were cooperating to get her to the next anchor so she could escape the mind
predator. All she had to do was hang on. Even if it felt as if they were
playing a stream of water on her body and freezing it, in their effort to
rescue her from the fire of the mind predator's hunger. Hang on. Hang on and
on.
And how
could she best do that? She was bound to be thinking of something. On what
could she focus, without mischief? Probably the mind predator could distort
anything; that was part of its strategy.
But
what about herself? Maybe even that would be distorted—but at least she
wouldn't be wronging anyone else. She herself was the only one she had the
right to malign.
So she
climbed back onto Burgess, took hold of his contact points, and promised not to
fall off again. After all, he was carrying her to safety. She focused on
herself, knowing that this was unlikely to be pleasant.
"Come
on, mind thing," she urged. "Do your worst. I'm calling your
bluff." Just like that, it happened: she woke. She was sitting
cross-legged in a cold chamber, shivering in a flimsy nightie. There was a
chamber pot nestled within the clasp of her bare thighs, and from it issued a
stench that stung her nose.
She
looked around. It was dark, but dawn was coming and she was able to see that
she was in a shed, with an array of things propped against its bare walls. An
ancient, battered teddy bear, a Raggedy Ann doll, a couple of books, a guitar,
a picture of a horse, an artificial flower. Around her, on the floor, was a
tattered blanket she must have had hunched over her body. Also a kitchen knife.
Now she
knew where she was. In Dogwood Bumshed, her hideout. Ready to commit suicide.
Because she hadn't truly believed in Darius, and he had returned to his distant
CHAOS 157
world,
and then she had known the extent of the folly of her disbelief. She had had
the chance for the love of her life, and had thrown it away. Had she really
wanted to believe? Or had she merely been looking for a pretext to kill herself
and be done with the agony of existence?
She had
set herself up, ready to slice her forearms with the knife, and bleed them into
the pot so as not to mess up the floor. If she filled the pot and wasn't dead
yet, she would take it out behind the shed, empty it by the roots of die
dogwood tree, and bring it back in for another filling. In due course she would
be all the way dead, and it would be done at last. At least the dogwood tree
would have good fertilizer.
But she
had chickened out. She had sat here with the knife in her hand, and her bare
arms over the pot, and not been able to make the cut. So she had sat here, her
bare bottom getting creased on the floor, trying to force the courage to do
what she had come to do—and instead had gone into the most wonderful of dreams.
She had
dreamed that she had heard a thought in her mind: COLENE! Wait for me! Then,
after a pause, Take hold! And she had reached out with her mind and taken hold
of the Virtual Mode, and had become an anchor person, and had gone out across
the realities to meet Darius. And on the way had found Seqiro, the magnificent
telepathic horse. And later die others, and adventure galore. They had gotten
trapped in the DoOon Mode, where the Emperor Ddwng wanted to get hold of the
Chip Darius had used to send up the Virtual Mode, and wouldn't let them go
until he had it. He threatened to slaughter Seqiro, to make Colene cooperate,
and he threatened to cut out Colene's ovaries for their eggs, to make Darius
cooperate. But they had escaped, by tricking Ddwng into freeing his anchor, and
found themselves in the Julia Mode with Nona. That was another whole adventure,
because those folk could do all kinds of magic. Finally they had won free of
that and found the Shale Mode, and the adventure continued.
Until
the mind predator had come after Colene, and now
158 CHAOS MODE
it had
done its worst: dumping her back here in dreariest reality. Costing her
everything. All the wonderful adventures, all her hopes and fears along the
Virtual Mode, all her love for horse and man.
So had
she really dreamed it all? Or was this the bad dream? How could she know?
Because if the whole Virtual Mode were a dream, she was doomed. But if the mind
predator was doing it, then she was locked into its power, and was doomed.
Because she knew without trying that this time she was not going to be able to
snap herself out of it by screaming or crying. The grip of the mind predator
had been growing stronger, and now it was too strong.
So was
there any point in being concerned about it? She was locked into destruction
either way. If she had dreamed it all, then it was time to kill herself,
because Earth had nothing for her. If the mind predator had her secure, then
she might as well kill herself too, because life in its embrace was too
horrible to contemplate.
Could
she kill herself in a bad dream? Would that kill her in reality, depriving the
monster of her mind and emotion? For the thing fed on her fading dreams and
fears, as worms fed on a decaying carcass, and if she died there would be
nothing for it.
There
was one way to find out. She took up the knife again and oriented it above her
left arm. This time she wouldn't chicken out!
Yet
there was a faint demurring thought. Not hers; it was Burgess. It didn't make
sense for her to die, when she was so close to the anchor and freedom. If she
died, the mind predator would have beaten her.
Beaten
her? No way! She was going to beat it, by dying and leaving it nothing to feed
on.
But
that faint thought hung on. This was the predator speaking, not Colene. It
wanted her to give up all resistance, because then not even her friends could
help her, and the anchor would be too late.
Ludicrous!
It wanted to feed on her living mind, de-
CHAOS 159
straying
it stage by stage. Only by killing that mind could she balk it.
Still
that faint nagging thought. She could not truly kill herself in the dream, she
could only acknowledge the mastery of the predator by giving up all hope of
escape. Death in the dream was captivity by the predator.
Which
was right? She was sure that death was the correct course, but was there a
reasonable doubt? If so, was it rational to commit suicide?
Reasonable
doubt. Rationality. Life. Death. Chaos.
She
cudgeled her brain, trying to make it think logically instead of with pure
feeling. Did death make sense, or life with the risk of awful captivity? Should
she trust her own, strong thoughts, or that faint nagging Burgess thought?
And
there was the key: her own thoughts had been ranging all over everywhere,
always winding up in disaster. So she couldn't trust them. While Burgess was
the only one who could help her against the mind predator. He was not subject
to human thought processes, because he was alien. He was not subject to human
distortion. Thus he could be trusted. Maybe. If it really were his thought she
was picking up.
And
what he thought was that in human terms Colene seemed to have a good existence
ahead. She was with a good little hive. All of the others were working to bring
her to safety, and there was not far to go. They all needed her and wanted her
to survive.
They
needed her. From out of chaos, a thought to warm her soul. She made a
difference to others.
"Airfoot,
you'd better be right!" she exclaimed, throwing away the knife.
The
scene exploded, literally. Bumshed flew apart, the walls flying out across the
dawn yard. Colene's precious things were scattered in a circle. The floor
dropped out from under, leaving her sitting cross-legged in space. A draft
froze her legs, blowing her nightie up and off her body, leaving her naked. The
stinking pot before her belched a stench so putrid that she couldn't breathe.
160 CHAOS MODE
But all
this proved was that she had defeated the dream, and now it was coming apart.
She had managed to fight off the monster, again, thanks to Burgess.
"Ha-ha, rotmind!" she cried. "I've beaten you! You can't have
me! Nyaa, nyaa, nyaa!"
But she
had exulted too soon. The mind predator rallied from its rage, and the siege
intensified. It had not lost the game, only an episode, and its resources were
relatively infinite. Now it wasn't trying to trick her, it was marshaling its
full power for the direct brute kill. No amount of dreaming would stop it this
time.
Then
there was light. Colene blinked. She was riding on Burgess, and they were on a
fair hill. Behind them was the sound of ocean waves breaking against the face
of a cliff. She recognized this place, for she had been here before.
They
had passed through the anchor, and this was the Julia Mode.
The malignant
siege of the mind predator faded. This time it was really gone.
"Oh,
thank you, Burgess!" she cried, doing her best to hug the floater.
"You got me through! You saved my sanity!"
They
had all gotten her through, Burgess clarified. Nona by knowing the way and
making a smooth path by magic, when the terrain became too rough. Darius by
drawing joy from Nona and sending it out to Colene, so that she never sank too
low to be recovered, and by conjuring them across a crevasse when there was no
time to go around it. Seqiro by keeping them all connected, and carrying
everything they needed, and sometimes hauling things out of the way so that it
was possible to make a path for Burgess. And Burgess himself, by carrying her,
and shielding her to some extent from the mind predator.
Colene
realized that the others had put forth a heroic collective effort on her
behalf. She had thought the battle was all her own, but that was only the inner
part of it. Her friends had fought the outer part of it. She felt a terrific
CHAOS 161
surge
of gratitude. But when she tried to express it, things blocked up, and she
burst into tears.
But it
was all right. Her mind was back in full contact with theirs, and they
understood. Chaos had been defeated, this time.
—
CHAPTER 8
JULIA
MONA'S
feelings were mixed. She was relieved that they had managed to get Colene
through the anchor before the mind predator destroyed her. The girl had been
writhing and crying out increasingly, and the issue had seemed in doubt. It was
impossible to know what she was going through, because when the predator
attacked, her mind was cut off. Only Burgess had some limited contact, perhaps
because the predator didn't know how to exclude his alien -mind. But Colene's
moments of rationality between siege had made it clear that she was suffering,
and feared that she could not resist the predator much longer.
However,
to save Colene they had had to do what Nona least wanted to do: return to
Julia, her home Mode. Now they were standing on the hill by the sea, near her
home village, on the world of Oria. The fractal outlines of the terrain were
evident, though in this region they had been so much worn down that a stranger
might miss them. When the villagers saw the party and recognized Nona, they
would demand that she remain to be queen of Oria, because she was now the only
person who could do full magic. Everyone could do illusion, of course, but that
didn't count. The real magic had been the province of the men, and now it was
the
JULIA 163
province
of the women, but only those who were bom in the ambience of the anima. It
would take a generation for the women to achieve their full powers. Except for
Nona, the ninth of the ninth, who had brought the anima.
She
didn't want to be queen. She didn't want to marry and breed. She didn't want to
stay here. Because staying would mean the end of her adventure on the Virtual
Mode, which had hardly begun, and every child she bore would draw some of her
magic away, until at last she too was left with only illusion. How could she
avoid being trapped into this role she so detested, when they recognized her?
"Listen,
Nona," Colene said. "I really appreciate this. I know you don't want
to be here, but I guess we'll have to stay a week or so, here in Julia, same
way we did in the Shale Mode. So I guess it's up to me to figure out how to fix
it so you won't get trapped."
Nona
had forgotten that Colene was back in the mental network, or as Burgess put it,
the hive. So the girl had picked up Nona's thoughts. Nona should have asked
Seqiro to limit them. "This is not your responsibility," she replied.
"Oh
yes it is! I'm the one the mind predator was after, and you're the one who had
to come here to save me. So I owe you. I don't want my problem to become your
problem."
Nona
shrugged. "It can only be my problem, because I am the one with the anima
magic."
"And
I'm the one with the animal cunning," Colene said. "I'll figure out
something. Maybe we can hide you."
"It's
not that," Nona demurred. "I would not be recognized beyond this
village, physically. But the moment I do any magic, anyone on Oria will know
me. Then in a moment, all will know that I am back."
"Well,
maybe if you just don't do any magic, then."
"I
shall have to, to provide food and shelter for us," Nona said. "We
must not use our carried supplies while in an anchor Mode."
Colene
nodded. "Um, yes. But there must be a way.
164 CHAOS MODE
Maybe
if we stay in the countryside, and you do magic only when no one else is
around."
"We
would still have to explain the source of our supplies," Darius pointed
out. "Lest they think we are thieves. And I am not certain how we can ever
explain Burgess."
"This
is true," Nona agreed. "There is no creature like Burgess on this
world. He will become an object of cynosure very quickly."
Colene
turned to gaze at Burgess. "Yeah, I guess he's a freak, here. No offense,
airfoot." She touched a contact point. Then she did a double take. "A
freak! That's it!"
The others
all looked at her, even the horse and Burgess' three eyes on stalks. "Is
the mind predator after you again?" Darius inquired with a smile that was
not fully humorous.
"No,
I'm okay, honest!" Colene exclaimed. 'Tired, sure; I'll have to sleep a
day or two pretty soon. But I know what I'm thinking. Back on Earth sometimes
they have these freak shows, with a traveling circus or something. A bearded
woman, a dwarf, a dog-faced boy, a two-headed snake—that sort of thing. Folks
have to pay to see the freaks. It's always a rip-off, but as old Barnum said,
there's a sucker born every minute. So Burgess can be our freak, and we'll make
folk pay to see him. We'll say he's from a weird distant world, which he is,
really: an alternate Earth. But tame, and we won't let anybody hurt him. That
should be good for a few thrown pennies."
"Pennies
won't account for our food and supplies," Darius said.
"So
who's to know how many pennies we get? Maybe nickels and dimes, too, or gold
pieces, whatever they have here. The point is, it'll explain our livelihood,
and no one will question it."
"An
entertainment troupe," Nona said, appreciating the nicety of it. "We
do have those on Oria. Traveling minstrels, groups of actors who put on plays.
I suppose one could be for the showing of an unusual creature."
"It
sure could," Colene said. "Darius can be the ringmaster, riding a big
brown horse—guess who, horseface!
JULIA 165
Did you
know that Seqiro's the exact age and color 1 am? Fourteen, and brown hair! We were
destined to be together. And you can play music and sing and dance, Nona; the
men'H love it, 'specially if you wear a skirt which flares. So sure we can be
an entertainment troupe; I like that notion better than freak show."
"But
what will you do?" Nona asked. "You are definitely not a freak,
but—"
"But
I don't have a body to madden men's minds, either," Colene agreed.
"Guess I'll just have to be the hat girl."
"A
girl in a hat?" Nona asked, perplexed.
Colene
laughed, and clarified the thought. "An urchin with a big hat, running
around and begging for coins, when the show's done. I'll catch 'em in the hat,
see. And I'll do the chores, like cleaning up manure. All-purpose
servant."
"This
is obviously your ideal vocation," Darius said drolly.
"And
I'll feed that manure to you, after Nona has made it look like gourmet
fare," she responded with mock sweetness. She turned to Nona. "So
have I figured it out? If I conk out now, can you folk carry through?"
"I
believe we can," he agreed.
Colene
went to Seqiro. "Can you carry me for a while, horseface? Poor Burgess's
been doing it, and I know he's worn out too. I've got to sleep safely."
Seqiro
agreed that he could carry her, and Colene climbed up on his harness and half
sat, half lay on his back. In a moment she was asleep. Nona knew it, because of
the telepathy; Colene dropped out of the net.
"We
had better get away from here first," Darius said. "So that the folk
of your villages don't see us."
"That
is true." Nona knew that he could conjure them to another place, but this
had its complications. It was better simply to walk. "I will clothe us in
illusion. It would be easy for another person to penetrate it, but perhaps none
will bother."
She
made Seqiro look like a smaller horse, with no har-
166 CHAOS MODE
ness
and no person on his back. She made Burgess look like another horse. Both wore
yellow animal tunics. She conjured a blue tunic for Darius and a red one for
herself. These were the theow colors; when the animus had become anima, and the
men lost the power of magic, and the despots their authority, the colors had
not changed. It was just that blue and red were now worthy colors, instead of
indications of servitude. The black and white of the male and female despots
had become the lowly colors.
She led
the way away from the village. They were lucky; they encountered no one. She
wondered about mat; normally there were folk working in the fields, and lovers
taking walks, and animals grazing. It was odd that things were so quiet.
By
early evening they had reached a secluded region shielded from any thoroughfare
by an arm of the forest. It was relatively barren, so that no fanning was done
here. They should be able to camp here without being disturbed.
She
took up a stick of wood and transmuted it into a swatch of cloth. Then she
expanded the cloth until it was large enough to make a tent, and gave that to
Darius to work with. She picked up a stone and transmuted it to crockery, and
magically shaped that into a small cup. She expanded the cup into a bucket. She
took an acorn and transmuted it into horsefeed, then expanded the feed until it
filled the bucket. Seqiro had his meal. She was about to make something for
Burgess, but he didn't need it; he was already sucking up more of the fallen
acorns and grinding them up inside. Finally she went through a similar process
to make bowls of mashed potatoes and cups of milk for the three human folk. It
was not, as Colene put it, gourmet fare, but Nona was not an artist with
culinary magic; she could produce only type and quantity. However, illusion did
serve to improve it.
Colene
woke and got down from the horse. She had had several hours' sleep, and
remained logy, but was feeling better; her emotion was only slightly depressive
now. She was hungry; she gobbled her dish of mashed potato and gulped down her
milk.
JULIA 167
As
night closed, they stripped the harness and burdens from Seqiro, and the horse
went grazing. Burgess continued to quest for things on the forest floor, quite
competent to take care of himself. The three humans settled into the tent
Darius had made from Nona's material and planned their tour. Then they settled
down to sleep in their normal fashion, Darius between the two women.
This
was not, Nona reflected, so much different from their stay on Shale. Except
that here they did not need to fear any wild predators; none would venture this
close to a human settlement.
"Right,"
Colene muttered. "The only one we have to fear is our own kind."
NEXT
day their group visited a village that Nona had not been to since her
childhood. Darius, the nominal master of the troupe, led Seqiro the trained
horse, and Nona, her hair concealed by a cap, rode somewhat regally on the
horse's back. A closed wagon was hauled along behind, containing the Monster
from Afar. The last was the hat girl, looking somewhat woebegone. They had
rehearsed their parts, and hoped the villagers accepted the show for what it
was intended to be.
The
village seemed normal from a distance, but the closer they got the stranger it
became. Instead of a reasonably neat array of modest houses, there was a
collection of shells of houses, with rubbish littering the street. A barricade
had been placed across the street at the edge of the village, and several
grim-looking men were guarding it.
"I
don't like the look of this," Darius said mentally. "This looks more
like a military camp than a hamlet."
"I
don't understand," Nona said. "It looks as if there has been fighting
here. Where are the women?"
"Methinks
this region of Oria isn't as peaceful as we thought," Colene said from
within the closed wagon. "We may have to beat a retreat."
They
stopped, but it was too late to withdraw. The men were coming to them, carrying
clubs and pitchforks. They looked mean. They wore black tunics. Nona didn't
want to
168 CHAOS MODE
use her
magic, but if the men attacked she would have to hurl a fireball. What were
despot men doing here in a meow village like this?
/ will
project caution to their minds, Seqiro said, also in thought, which was always
his way. And fear if necessary.
The men
came to stand before Darius. "What's your business here, stranger?"
one demanded.
"I
have an entertainment troupe," Darius explained. Nona knew that he was a
stickler for honesty, but they had indeed become such a troupe. "Our
maiden plays music and dances, and our horse is trained to do tricks. We also
have a strange Monster from Afar. We ask only pennies from the audience, to
defray our meager expenses."
"Mister,
where you been the last month?" the man demanded. "Didn't you know
there's been a revolution?"
"I
have been isolated, far from here, with my troupe," Darius said.
"What is this about a revolution?"
"Some
bitch brought the anima," the man said. "The current changed, and now
we can't do magic. The theows got rambunctious, so we had to put the villages
under martial law. You're in theow garb; are you going to make trouble?"
"I
came merely to entertain, and to earn a few pennies in payment," Darius
said. This was the truth, as far as it went; he would not have told a lie even
to an enemy. "I thought my troupe would be welcomed in any village. If it
is not, I will depart. I wish no trouble."
The man
looked at the other men. Seqiro projected a thought of acceptance. "Well,
if you've got a good show, we'll let you in. But you'll have to be out of here
by dusk."
"I
think I have a good show," Darius said meekly.
They
moved the barricade aside and let the party pass. Now me women appeared, coming
out from the battered houses, their children following. They were in red. They
did not look happy.
"What
has happened here?" Nona demanded mentally. "Where are the theow men?
This is not at all like the land I left!"
IULIA 169
Seqiro
explored the nearby minds, slowly gaining their thoughts. "The theow men
were driven away," he reported. "The women could not escape, and
remain here as hostages so that the men will not attack. The despot men govern
here."
"But
the despots have no magic any more!" Nona protested. "How can they
govern?"
"By
strength of arm and viciousness of will," Darius explained. "They may
lack magic, but so do the theows, so those with weapons and the will to use
them remain dominant."
"Oh,
it wasn't supposed to be this way!" Nona thought. "This is worse than
before I brought the anima!"
"This
is revolution," Colene thought. "It's usually this way, I think. The
new order is supposed to solve all problems instantly, but it can't, and the
older order gets mean when it starts losing its power. I guess it will take a
generation to settle down, when the children grow up with their magic. We
should have realized that before we left here."
"But
it was peaceful when we left!" Nona reminded her.
"Because
you had all the power," Colene responded. "But then you left, and no
one had magic to fill it. So instead of a new order, it's winding down into
anarchy."
"I
never realized!" Nona thought. "I should never have left! I was so
selfish, thinking only of myself."
"I
don't think so," Darius replied. "I fear you might have been killed,
as the visible agent of the revolution."
Nona
shut down her protest, realizing that this could be true. Things had taken a
terrible turn.
But at
the moment there were villagers to entertain. They stopped in the center of the
village and proceeded with their show. Nona dismounted, and Darius made the
horse do tricks, such as tapping his forehoof once for Yes and twice for No.
Soon the children were laughing, and the despot men, seeing that this really
was an entertainment troupe, relaxed.
"Now,
horse, are you going to perform?" Darius inquired rhetorically. Seqiro
tapped twice.
170 CHAOS MODE
"Do
you want any feed tonight?" Darius demanded. Seqiro tapped once.
"Do
you know what you have to do to get it?" Seqiro hesitated, like a bad
child, and finally tapped once. That brought the first titter. The villagers
knew that the horse could not really respond so accurately, and he couldn't be
a familiar, because that magic was gone. They knew that Darius was keying the
answers with some hidden signal only the horse understood. Had they known the
truth, that the horse was not only reading the man's mind but translating his
words for the audience, they would have been amazed.
"What
is one and one?" Darius demanded. The horse tapped twice.
"What
is three and two?" The horse pondered a moment, then tapped five times.
"What
is four apples and five ideas?" The horse turned his head to stare at the
man, then stared at the audience, as if baffled. Then he faced away, lifted his
tail, and dropped a pile of manure in front of Darius.
Even
the despots were laughing then. They laughed again when Colene dashed up with a
shovel and scooped up the manure. "Don't ask him that question
again," Colene told the ringmaster as she dumped the manure in a box.
"He just eats the apples, and they give him dirty ideas." Then she
grabbed her big hat and ran in front of the audience, begging for pennies. She
got a number.
After
the smart-horse-apple act, Nona brought out her hammer dulcimer and accompanied
herself as she sang a sweet song. She was good at it, very good, because her
training had been in music, and the audience loved it. Her two little hammers
fairly flew across the strings, evoking the lovely music. For a second song,
she removed her red tunic, to reveal a red dress beneath, with a reasonably low
d&olletage. Colene collected more pennies.
Then
they opened the closed wagon to reveal the monster. There was a gasp of awe;
this really was a strange one! Darius went into his spiel about finding this
alien creature on a distant world. "Look at the people, Monster,"
IUL1A 171
he
ordered it. Burgess extended his three eye stalks and oriented them in the
direction of the people. Colene collected a few more coins. It was of course
mandatory to squeeze the audience at every stage, milking the maximum amount
from each aspect of the act.
"And
now, for a few more pennies, I will make the monster float," Darius said
grandly. "In air, but not like a bird." He gestured, and Burgess took
in air and pumped himself up, floating visibly above the floor of the wagon.
Then he sank down again, as if exhausted—and also, the people were sure,
because too much floatation would allow them to fathom the nature of the trick.
Seqiro, attuned to their minds, planted the correct thoughts as the act
proceeded.
It was,
overall, a successful performance. Colene had a fair weight of pennies in the
hat. They used these to buy some food, and then moved on out of the village,
honoring the despot's requirement that they be gone by nightfall.
But as
they sought a place to camp for the night, their private dialogue was far more
sober than their act for the villagers. They had expected to find a peaceful
hamlet with satisfied people. Instead they had found a battle-torn remnant
maintained like a prison. Was it this way all across the world of Oria? If so,
the least of their concerns was whether Nona would be recognized. She knew she
could not leave her world in this state. But what could she do to improve
it—without sacrificing her dream of adventure on the Virtual Mode?
"I
hate to say it," Colene said. "But I guess we were insufferably
naive. We thought that all you had to do was change the animus to anima, so
that the despots didn't have any more magic, and everything would be just fine.
Instead it brought chaos." She stopped at a depression leading to a tiny
river, a streamlet from a rad, one of the typical projections of the fractal world.
"Chaos,"
Darius agreed. "When we were here before, and stopped at that small world,
on the way to find that giant Angus, we saw devastation. We assumed it was
because their despots had torn things up while being ousted.
172 CHAOS MODE
We never
thought that the same would happen here. Despots and theows constantly
fighting. Chaos makes everybody lose." He squatted, dipping his hand in
the cold stream and tasting the water.
Nona
felt tears stinging. "I was so selfish! 1 just wanted to have my own
adventure. 1 deserted my world." She also felt physically grubby, and
wished she could wash her self-condemnation out of her mind as readily as the
dirt from her body.
"That's
what you thought before," Colene said. "I've been thinking about that,
and I think Darius is right: you had at least an even chance of getting killed,
if you stayed. Then there would have been the same anarchy, and you'd have been
worse off. I think you did what you had to do, bringing the anima, and then
your role in the scheme of your Mode was fulfilled and you had to get away and
let things work themselves out. At that point, you had earned a shot at living
your own life." She began collecting twigs for a fire. They had evidently
found their camping site.
"I
agree," Darius said. "Revolution is not an easy business. The only
way you could have avoided it was by not bringing the anima." He stripped
his blue tunic and stood naked, ready to wash."
"But
I had to bring the anima!" Nona protested. "And now I have to help my
world." She removed her own tunic, and then the undergarments Colene had
encouraged her to adopt.
"Not
by getting yourself killed, you don't!" Colene retorted. "I'm the
suicidal one around here, not you." She pulled off her tunic and
underthings, joining them in nakedness. Such was their familiarity with each
other now, because of experience and their constant linkage of minds, that this
was routine. Nona noted peripherally that not so very long ago she would have
been amazed.
"But
I still wish I had your body," Colene said, answering Nona's thought in
that disconcerting way she had.
"There
is nothing wrong with yours," Nona reminded her.
"There
is nothing wrong with either body," Darius said
IULIA 173
quickly.
'Take my word." They had to laugh as they proceeded to wash. Darius had
asked Seqiro not to relay any incidental sexual thoughts he might have on such
occasions, and this gave the man the illusion of indifference. Nona suspected
that without that, their camaraderie would have been strained at times.
"For
double sure," Colene muttered.
Burgess
had a thought. They had visited only a single hive. Was it possible that other
hives were not infected?
"Yes,
we need to verify the planetary situation," Darius said. "It may be
that the transition is more peaceful in other regions. We have to assess the
extent of the problem before we consider any action."
Nona
knew that they were trying to make her feel better, and to dissuade her from
doing something foolish- It was possible that they were right. In any event,
she couldn't do anything immediately, and she did not have the right to get her
friends of the Virtual Mode in trouble on her behalf. So until it was safe for
Colene to venture back onto the Virtual Mode, they should continue to look
around, not revealing themselves.
So they
relaxed, and retired to their tent, and Nona tried to sleep. But her mind would
not shut down. "I had better stand guard," she said abruptly, getting
up and leaving the tent. Neither Darius nor Colene protested, though they
already had an alarm wire strung that would alert them if any person tried to
approach in the night.
She
made a small illusion lamp to give her light, and walked down by the little
stream. She loved her world of Oria, and hated to see it in distress. Yet she
feared that the others were right: there was little if anything she could do
now to ease the transition. Did that justify her desertion of her world?
Do you
wish my company? It was Seqiro, reaching her with his thought, though his body
was grazing elsewhere.
"I
wish your company forever," she replied. "But I fear that is not to
be."
Before
I came to the Virtual Mode, I longed for the company of a girl, a human female
who was bound to me by
174 CHAOS MODE
preference
rather than by my control of her mind. Colene was the realization of that
longing. Now I have you also.
"You
have me also," Nona agreed. "But you must return to the Virtual Mode,
while I think 1 must remain here."
/, too,
am selfish. When I am in contact with a human mind, I can think in the human
style. Colene gives me intelligence well beyond my own, and so do you. When we
reach the anchor where Darius' Mode is, Colene will go there with Darius. I
could go with them, but I think they wilt have other concerns than horses, and
it may be that my power of telepathy will not exist in that reality. Then I
would be a mere animal, denied the joy of high intelligence. I would prefer to
remain on the Virtual Mode, if I could be with you.
"Oh,
Seqiro!" Nona cried. "I wish I could be with you!"
If you
and Colene separate, I must go with her. But if I go with her, and then lose
her, I will have no girl.
"I
do want to be your girl," she said, feeling the tears on her face again.
"I don't want to be queen. But I must do what I believe to be right."
Yes,
this is part of your appeal.
"Where
are you, Seqiro?"
Follow
my thought.
She
followed his thought, and soon found him in the field. She doused her illusion
lamp and put her arms up around his massive neck, hugging him as well as she
could. She wept, because this was when weeping was proper.
After a
bit she made her lamp again and walked back toward the tent, her mind less
troubled than it had been. The she encountered Burgess. "Hello, airfoot,"
she said, borrowing Colene's idiom as she put her hand on a contact point.
Burgess
was not fully comfortable on the Virtual Mode or this strange world. But as
long as he remained with the hive, he could cope, and the longer he remained
the better he could cope. He would feel distress if any creature of the hive
were to be lost.
IULIA 175
"Oh,
Burgess," Nona said sadly. "Are you, too, asking me to stay with the
group?"
As the
floater understood it, two members of the hive would be leaving it when they
reached the right anchor. That would leave only diree. That was too small. If
Nona left it too, there would be only two, neither of whom could generate human
intelligence. That would mean the end of the hive.
"Oh,
Burgess, 1 do want to remain with the hive!" Nona said. "But I must
do what I can for my world of Oria. If the hive ends, could you and Seqiro come
back here?"
Burgess
did not know, but it seemed doubtful, because Seqiro needed a human mind for
intelligence and Burgess needed human versatility with wagons and bridges to
navigate the difficult terrain.
"But
if Darius and Colene left, and shut down Darius' anchor, there would be a new
person with a new anchor. Then you would have a new "member for the
"hive." But that seemed thin. It was not that easy for Burgess to
adapt to new people, and a stranger would see him as exactly the kind of freak
he pretended to be for their road show.
Yet
Seqiro and Burgess could get along, if Nona were with them. Then a new hive
member could be introduced by the horse's telepathy and Nona's intelligence. It
was the nucleus that could grow a new hive from the remnant of the old.
Nona
realized that Burgess' thought was right. It could be done, if she remained
with them. Her magic would also help. Darius and Colene had started the Virtual
Mode, but the three of them could continue it. They could have their own
adventure of exploration, discovering strange worlds and creatures. Now she
knew that this was what both Seqiro and Burgess wanted.
"I
want it too," Nona said. "But not at the expense of my world."
She
returned to the tent, where Darius and Colene slept beside each other in the
night tunics Nona had made for them and for herself. There was no pretense
here; they really were asleep, because Seqiro relayed their inchoate un-
176 CHAOS MODE
conscious
thoughts. The two were holding hands, their fingers loosely interlaced yet
suggesting tenderness and trust. They were a couple, for all the difficulties
they had relating fully to each other when awake, and she wished them well.
Colene thought Darius was too morally rigid, except with respect to other
women, where it seemed he had an attitude Nona had not seen. Darius thought
Colene was too young, though he desired her body and her love with an intensity
that sometimes leaked through despite the way the horse filtered it out. The
fact was that Colene was not too young, for experience had matured her rapidly,
and Darius' awareness of other women would fade if he simply recognized Colene
as a woman instead of an almost-woman. All either needed was to accept what die
other offered.
Nona
laughed to herself. How readily she could solve the problems of others, when
she could not address her own! Perhaps to the others, Nona's problem was as
readily soluble. In fact, maybe all they needed to do was address each other's
problems and soon there would be no more problems.
Nona
lay down on Darius' other side. She liked them both, and regretted being any
part of the dissension between them. She had no romantic designs on Darius, but
did like him as a person. If she were ever to marry, she hoped it would be to a
man like him, but that did not mean Darius himself. Colene understood that
intellectually, but not emotionally. Colene feared that one day Darius would
simply be overwhelmed by Nona's presence and choose to marry her instead of
Colene. But Nona would not accept that, for her own very certain reasons, and
she wished she could convince Colene of that. Darius, however he felt about women
in general, would never take a woman against her will. Nona represented no
threat to Colene's romance. Nor to her horse either; Colene would have to give
up Seqiro before Nona took him.
But
what kind of a threat did Nona represent to her world? Had she done no more
than throw it into chaos? What could she do to redress such an evil?
IULIA 177
/ will
help you sleep.
Nona
realized that she did need this help. "Thank you, Seqiro." Then the
horse's mind pressed her awareness gently down, and she slept.
IN the
morning the others were up before Nona. They were ready to strike camp by the
time she woke. "Seqiro—did you hold me in sleep late?" she demanded
as she scrambled up.
Yes. So
we could consider your problem.
"But
I didn't ask anyone to do that!" She tore off her night tunic and dropped
a red day tunic over her head.
True.
This is why it was better for you to sleep.
"The
rest of you don't have any responsibility for me! This is something I have to
do myself." She was now making her way to their designated latrine area,
and was conscious of a possible double entendre.
Colene
appeared. "When the mind predator came after me, did you decide it was
something I had to handle myself?"
"No,
of course not! We had to get you away from—" Nona broke off, grasping the
point. She regrouped her thoughts. "What did you decide?"
"Seqiro
says he thinks you can solve my problem, so maybe I should solve yours."
So the
horse had not told the specific nature of Nona's private thoughts. She was
thankful for that. "If you could solve mine, I would certainly try to
solve yours. But I fear no one can solve mine."
"So
let me try to solve yours first, and then if I succeed, you'll tackle
mine," Colene said.
Nona
finished her private business and went to the stream to wash. She was not at
all sure this was wise. She knew that Seqiro wanted her, Nona, to remain with
them on the Virtual Mode, but that was no necessary concern for Colene.
Colene
followed her, and put out her hand. "Deal?"
Why
should Colene even want to get involved? Nona
178 CHAOS MODE
was not
at all sure that this made sense. But the girl was waiting, and finally Nona
took her hand. "Agreed."
"Anyway,
1 might get attacked by that mind predator again," Colene said. "They
tell me that your magic made the difference, getting me here in time."
"We
all made the difference/' Nona clarified. "We worked together." She
smiled. "As a hive."
"Well,
I'm not ready to break up the hive yet."
"What
is your solution to my problem?"
"I'm
working on it. This will take more than a minute or three to figure out. So you
just relax, and let me stew on it."
"It
may take more than a generation to resolve!" Nona exclaimed, laughing. Now
it occurred to her that Colene was simply trying to help her to relax, on the
assumption that someone else was taking the burden of worry.
"Now
we need you to get a familiar," Colene said. "So we can spot a place
for Darius to conjure us to."
Seqiro
stunned a passing bird, and Nona held the bird and tamed it with her mind. Then
she directed it to fly to a distant village, while she had her morning meal.
In due
course, using the bird's eyes, she spied a suitable site. It was near a village
that looked peaceful.
They
got together, and Darius performed a mass conjuration. He had made icons
representing each of them, including Burgess, and touched each with the solid,
liquid, and air of the one it represented. The solid was a hair or in Burgess'
case a tiny chip from his canopy; the liquid was spittle or the equivalent; the
air was breath. He activated these with a thought. Then he moved the group from
the region he had designated "here" to the region designated
"there."
There
was a stomach-turning lurch. They landed in a sloppy pile at the far site. The
others were used to it, but this was the first experience for Burgess, and he
looked a bit green around the trunk and sunken of eye stalk. Nona and Colene
put hands on his contact points, and Seqiro enhanced their power of communication,
so they could reassure him.
JULIA 179
Then
Nona expanded their equipment and they repaired to the village. There were no
barricades here, and no sign of despots. But neither were there any glad or
curious throngs of children.
Seqiro,
garbed as a show horse, let Darius guide him, his mind tuned to the minds of
the villagers. It always took the horse a little while to orient on new minds.
Their guise as a traveling troupe gave him time to do this before they came to
a stop.
But
this time they were surprised. Keep walking. Do not stop.
They
kept moving, passing right on out of the village without pausing, as if they
had always been destined for elsewhere. As they did so, Seqiro clarified what
he had discovered. This was a peaceful hamlet only in appearance; it was
actually an armed and hostile camp. Men were watching from the windows, ready
to emerge and stone any suspicious visitors. Any people in despot cloaks, male
or female, would be killed on sight; others were let be if they seemed
harmless. So Seqiro had projected emanations of harmlessness, and the troupe
had been allowed to depart in peace.
Safely
beyond the deadly village, they paused to assess the implications. The
revolution had come here, too, and worse than the other village. The despots
had been abolished.
"But
there was not supposed to be killing," Nona said, horrified. "Just a
change of authority."
"It
seems that without a powerful force to keep the peace, it will not be
kept," Darius said grimly. "I suspect that even your magic, Nona,
will not suffice to bring order here. The people have tasted blood."
"I
am beginning to wonder whether I should have ever brought the anima," Nona
said, chagrined.
"There
must have been similar violence when the animus took over, generations
ago," Colene said. "This is a lot like my world, Earth. When there's
no strong authority, nations fission into factions, and the factions fight. I
thought your world was better."
180 CHAOS MODE
"I
thought so too," Nona said. "Now I see that the despots, much as we
despised them, did keep the peace. I am very much afraid that my magic will be
inadequate to restore order in more than a single village."
"But
I guess you don't want to give it up as a bad job," Colene said.
"A
single village is better than nothing."
They
checked several other villages, performing shows at some and avoiding others
when Seqiro verified that they were dangerous. The story was similar
throughout: a state of overt or covert war existed. The despots had not
released their power gently; they had clung to it by whatever means they could.
The theows, knowing that they were no longer opposed by magic, had thrown off
the yoke wherever they could. The sides were approximately even, so the issue
was in doubt. Men were learning war rapidly.
There
were also collections of brown-tunicked rabble, the folk Nona had released from
the underworld; rejected by the folk of the surface, they were forming
communities of their own, just as distrustful of strangers.
"Well,
I think I've figured out how to solve your problem," Colene said.
Nona
didn't laugh. She was afraid of what the girl was going to come up with.
"It will require a miracle, I think."
"What
we have to do is get some more magic here," Colene said. "Not one
woman, but a group of them, so they can spread out and establish law and
order."
"But
I am the only one," Nona protested. "I can not duplicate
myself."
"You
are the only one on Planet Oria," Colene said. "But there are whole
planets full of them elsewhere in Julia. There are lots of anima worlds. All we
have to do is get some of those other women to immigrate. It could be a pretty
good deal for them, you know. Queen for a Day, or for life. Maybe most wouldn't
be interested, but I'll bet some are, and even if it's only one in a hundred,
that may be enough. One to a village, maybe."
Nona
listened, astonished. Anima women from estab-
1ULIA 181
lished
anima worlds! Of course there were many of those. The universe of Julia had an
infinite number of connected worlds, of all different sizes, with their
populations in proportion. Many were animus, with the men wielding the magic,
but many were anima, with the women having it. And a number of such women were
bound to be interested, because instead of being unremarkable in their own
society, they would be the wielders of full power on Oria. Some might be bad
women, not suitable, but many would be fair. It was, indeed, an answer.
"Two
problems I see," Darius said. "Selection and transport. We'll need a
way to alert them and pick out the right ones, and we'll need to get them here.
That may be a problem."
"Two
solutions," Colene replied promptly. "We'll go to the amazon leaders
and explain the situation. They must have dozens of prospects—women who are
capable but not in line for power in that world. Women who want special
challenge. Women who are too ambitious so need to be removed, but who are too
well connected to be eliminated without a stink. Sure, there'll be politics
galore, but there'll be magic women available. They may not be ideal rulers,
but they've got to be better than chaos. And we'll transport them the same way
we travel, bringing them along the filaments that connect the worlds, in small
bunches. Maybe we can get Angus to help. It may take a bit of time, but it can
be done."
Nona
nodded, excited. It could be done. But she had a question of her own:
"What about Burgess? Can he travel the filaments? He won't want to remain
here alone."
Colene
went to the floater and put a hand on a contact point. "Hey, elephant
nose, do you want to go world-hopping? It's one weird trip, I promise
you!"
There
was a pause while she clarified the situation for Burgess. Then she looked up.
"He doesn't want to get left behind. We should be able to bring him along
the filaments the same way as we bring him along on a group conjuration. It's
better that we stay together, as a hive."
So it
was decided. Tomorrow they would go to the East
182 CHAOS MODE
Sea and
set up for their excursion to another world. That would be a horrendous
endeavor, but Nona felt relieved. For the first time since she had become aware
of the problem on Oria, she had some reasonable hope of remaining with her
friends of the hive.
r-
CHAPTER 9
ANIMA
r\
ARIUS lay in the tent, awake between two sleeping women as dawn approached. He
hoped they wouldn't regret this. Colene had a positive genius for solving
problems, and an almost as strong negative genius for making new problems. Her
simple solution to Nona's problem was complicated and perhaps dangerous in its
details.
First
they had to conjure to the East Sea. Oria was part of the fractal reality of
Julia, in which every planet was connected by invisibly thin filaments and the
entire universe was a deviously connected mass. Colene's mental image, culled
from her research bank in her home Mode of Earth, showed an essentially
two-dimensional pattern. Each planet was shaped like a six-legged bug, with the
head pointed west, with the filaments entering it at the east and departing in
many directions from the bumps called rads—radicals—on its surface. There were
smaller rads between the larger ones, in descending subpatterns of increasing
complexity. Here in the Julia Mode the pattern was three-dimensional, and the
rads projected on four sides. The surface of a pristine planet was a
complicated array, but inhabited worlds were broken down by the forces of
weather and the depredations of man so that they
184 CHAOS MODE
came to
resemble the home worlds known by Colene, Seqiro, Burgess, and himself.
To a
degree. Nona was so accustomed to the filaments that she didn't even notice
them, but Darius did. From every rad filaments issued, and these formed
marvelous recurring patterns that became visible at night. All through the sky
the stariike networks showed. They fascinated him in their wondrous intricacy.
His eye could trace a pattern through endless loops and whirls and curls, until
the fineness of the detail defeated his vision. Not merely in the large sky;
the near sky had similar, smaller patterns, right down to the very spot he lay,
where the filaments remained, though the original rads had been removed. It was
as if they were silent ghosts, forever marking the sites of their original
bodies. He knew that there were invisibly small planets associated with these
patterns, and that many of these tiny planets had populations of trees,
animals, and people, much like Oria. Every one was a complete world, in scale,
with its effects of gravity, season, and life self-similar. It would be hard to
imagine a more remarkable universe than this, yet the locals took it all for
granted.
It was
this duplication and similarity of planets that Colene depended on to solve
Nona's problem. There would not be another woman exactly like Nona elsewhere,
but there would be other women with similar attitudes and powers. They could
indeed do as well with the world of Oria as Nona could, and probably better,
because they would have the motive she lacked, and there would be a number of
them. So it was a flash of inspiration to think of that. But what a job it
would be to accomplish! It was quite within the realm of possibility that one
or more of them would get killed in the process. That was the corollary to
Colene's bright notion.
But
what could he do except play it through? If it succeeded, Nona would be able to
rejoin them on the Virtual Mode, and that was good. His interest might be
suspect, for Nona was as lovely a woman in form and personality as he had
encountered. She had marvelous musical and magical abilities. It would be easy
for any man to love her.
ANIMA 185
But it
was Colene he loved, and were it not for her age and inner core of depression
she would be ideal. Because she had intelligence, initiative, and courage,
which could be awesome when they manifested, and she was hardly inferior in
other qualities. Now she wanted to help Nona escape the emotional call of Oria,
and that was generous of her. Nona was certainly an asset on the Virtual Mode,
but Colene also saw her as a threat to Colene's relationship with Darius; that
was why he considered her attitude to be generous. There was also something to
be said for keeping the group together, at least until they arrived at Darius'
home Mode. Thereafter—he did not know. Could the Virtual Mode continue, with
Nona, Seqiro, and Burgess, after he and Colene got off? It would be a
significant risk to free his anchor, because no one could know what the next
anchor would be. But if he didn't, it would leave them with no replacement
anchor person, and a group too small to be the hive Burgess needed. So he had
no answer for that, yet.
Now the
dawn was brightening, and the filaments were fading. They were still there, of
course, but invisible and imperceptible; his body passed through them without
effect. Filaments of any size were intangible unless special magic was used to
address them. Which was what they were about to do. They had to go to the main
filament at the east pole of the planet, because that one led to larger
planets, and thence to others the same size as Oria. They had to find one the
same size, because otherwise the people would be larger or smaller than the
natives of Oria, and would not be able to mesh well.
He got
up, trying not to disturb the others, but both woke when he stirred. Each was
so lovely in her way, Nona a radiant young woman of eighteen, Colene a pretty
girl of fourteen. They stretched almost together, their breasts moving under
their night tunics. Oh, how he wished he could—but he could not. Because the
one who was old enough was not his, and the one who was his was not old enough.
It was at times an exquisite torture. At
186 CHAOS MODE
times
he really missed his life as Cyng of HIahtar, with bouncy Ella so eager to warm
his bed.
"I
caught that, manface," Colene said, forcing a cute frown.
"You
couldn't have. Seqiro—"
"With
my own mind reading," she said. "I'm getting better at it, you
know."
Was she
bluffing? If she ever caught on how much he desired her, she would be almost
irresistible, because she would have no conscience about her blandishments. She
was too young, and she believed that that made her unappealing in his eyes, but
it was not so. She was almost the ultimate in forbidden fruit.
"Gee,
I am?" she asked, pleased.
She had
to be guessing! He turned away, somewhat shaken. Colene laughed, well satisfied
with herself.
"What
is going on?" Nona asked her. Now it was Seqiro's ambience conveying the
communication to him; he did not need to be within earshot.
"He
was thinking sexy thoughts," Colene replied. "He has this deal with
horseface, not to relay them, but I peeped on my own. He thinks you're a
beautiful woman, but you're not his, and I'm a pretty girl, but I'm too young.
When we both stretched just now, it just about drove him crazy, because of the
way our breasts moved. He wished he was back in bed with bouncy Ella, in his
own Mode, where the girls wear big diapers by day but can get pretty juicy by
night."
That
could not be guessing! She had picked it up exactly.
"This
is not right," Nona said reprovingly. "You should not tease him, when
"he is trying to treat you correctly."
"I
don't want to tease him, I want to love him! But he won't touch me."
"Let
me think about that," Nona said. "You are solving my problem; I shall
have to try to solve yours."
Darius
would have liked nothing better than to have this problem solved. But only time
would make Colene old enough, years of time. How was he going to survive that?
ANIMA 187
Colene
did not like the idea of him being with any other woman, even one he was not
serious about.
"You
got that right!" Colene yelled from the tent.
This
was going to get more difficult. Her limited telepathy was definitely getting
less limited.
No, I
relayed that thought, Seqiro thought. It was situational, not sexual.
That
was a relief! At least he retained some privacy, if he wasn't close to Colene.
But
there was no sense dwelling in this, when there was an immediate problem to
tackle. He and Nona, working together, could enable the group to travel along
the filaments between planets. But that was only the beginning. They had to
find one Oria's size, with a human population, and the anima. There might be
thousands of such worlds in Julia, but there were millions of planets the wrong
size, and it would be easy to get lost in the maze of filaments. How could they
efficiently locate an appropriate one?
Then he
had it: Angus. Angus was their giant friend on Jupiter, the next larger world up
the local filament. They had encountered him when they had been trapped in this
Mode, and he had helped them to bring the anima. Perhaps he would help them
again. Certainly he should have relevant advice.
Heartened,
Darius went about his business. In due course they gathered together for the
conjuration. It had taken time for Nona's familiar to fly to the East Sea, to
orient on a suitable spot. Darius could conjure only to a known or observed
site; otherwise the risk of landing in a tree was too great. In a tree did not
mean reclining on its foliage; it meant flesh overlapping with wood. That could
be extremely awkward.
He
invoked and moved the grouped icons, and abruptly the five of them were on the
beach by the East Sea. Now they needed Nona's magic, because the filament
connected under the sea. The sea actually filled in the giant dimple on the
east side of the planet, and was deepest at the connection. So Nona had to make
an underwater breathing apparatus for them.
188 CHAOS MODE
Soon Nona
had done that. There was now a giant breathing bell, which would hold a supply
of air for them all, constantly renewed by Nona's magic. They changed into
brief trunks, which Nona also made magically, and entered the water. Each wore
heavy shaped weights on the feet, to keep them all on the bottom. Seqiro took
the center under the bell. Nona rode on him, while Darius walked ahead, using a
lead rope and halter to guide the horse. It looked much like their road show,
except for the water.
Colene
walked beside Burgess, to whom she related well, keeping a hand on one of his
contact points so that he would remain current. He had his own air bell,
because he was too low to use the main one. His gills were concealed under his
canopy, and needed a relatively small amount of air, which then was wafted to
the rear to provide some forward propulsion. He did not need the huge amount
required for floating, because now he was floating in the water. His main
propulsion was provided by his trunk, which could process water as readily as
air or sand, but he had some difficulty maintaining his balance. So Colene was
helping to anchor and steer him, as each jet of water sent him surging somewhat
randomly ahead.
They
made their way on down, losing track of the time, eating as they went. They
took turns sleeping, with Nona first, on the horse. Then she exchanged with
Darius. Then they both hauled Seqiro slowly along while he slept. Meanwhile
Burgess gave Colene a ride, her weight bearing him down so that he could brace
against the bottom and achieve better stability, and she slept. Then she hauled
him along through the water while he slept. None of this was perfect or easy,
but they managed.
At last
they reached the depth and found the filament. It was simply a band of light
moving up from the center of the dimple. When he looked closely, he saw that it
was not really simple; it was fashioned of a tapestry of finer lines, which in
turn were composed of vanishingly thin microfil-aments. He knew that if he
could magnify it, the lines would become yet finer in their definition, with no
end to
ANIMA 189
their
diminishing intricacies. This fractal universe of Julia was a wonder in a
number of ways.
They
gathered together in a tight group, with Nona in the center on Seqiro, who was
standing over Burgess. Burgess touched one of Nona's feet with his trunk, while
Colene and Darius took her hands. Then Nona invoked her ability to travel along
the filament.
The wan
light expanded. Suddenly they were sailing up through it, leaving the planet
behind. Darius concentrated on the surroundings, trying to fathom their
fascinating detail, but as before, he could catch only hints. The mosaic of the
massed filaments was too devious to grasp in an instant, and the pattern was continuously
changing.
They
landed on Jupiter, the next larger planet, about eighteen times Oria's
diameter. They could see that they were on a mound, which was on a larger
mound, in turn on a larger one, leading into the monstrous world. This was the
spike of one of the larger rads at the north side of Jupiter. Here everything
was in the larger scale, so that ants could be as long as Darius' foot. But
they would not have to deal with ants; they had a friend, here.
Angus!
Seqiro called mentally. Nona is here.
They
waited. Soon enough a giant man came flying across the variegate surface of the
planet. This was Angus, the friend they had made during their prior stay in the
Julia Mode.
He
hovered near, and extended an enormous hand. They scrambled onto it, with the
three humans guiding the horse, then lifting Burgess across, with the
considerable aid of Seqiro's coordination and temporary jolt of strength. Angus
had to extend his other hand to hold them all comfortably.
Angus
peered at them within his cupped hands. He spoke softly, almost in a whisper,
so as not to overwhelm them with his sound, and Seqiro translated his words for
their minds. "One of you has changed."
"Provos
has gone home, with her adopted son and granddaughter," Nona explained.
"Our new associate is Burgess, from the Shale Mode. He is the product of
alter-
190 CHAOS MODE
nate
evolution going back about five hundred million years." She had learned
this explanation from Colene.
Angus
lifted, flying out across the tiered rads toward the main mass of Jupiter.
Darius had been quite nervous the first time he had been carried like this, but
he now had confidence in the giant's competence and consideration, and was only
moderately awed. "And why do I have the pleasure of your company
again?" Angus asked.
"We
have a problem, again, of course," Nona said. She smiled. She had a
marvelous smile, and its effect on the giant was apparent. "I would have
liked to visit you anyway, Angus, but I needed a pretext."
"I
would accept you without a pretext, Nona."
Darius
knew that was true. Nona had won him with her special playing of her hammer
dulcimer, before, and he had been loyal to her since. Darius also knew that the
giant's help would be invaluable, and that Angus would give it gladly.
"We
did bring the anima to Oria," Nona said. "I had no wish to be queen
there, so left with my friends, to travel the Virtual Mode. But a mind predator
attacked Colene, and we had to exit through this anchor. Then I discovered that
my world was in chaos. Now I must try to help it, to alleviate the grief I
brought to it. I need to find women of the anima, from an established anima
world, to go to Oria and govern it until the new generation emerges."
"Ah,
I had not thought of that," Angus said. "You wish to have competent
help in governing."
"No,
I wish to return to the Virtual Mode, having no taste for governance, or for
marriage and children as yet. I wish to explore, while 1 have my youth and
magic. But I must see to my world's welfare first."
He
nodded as he came to land beside his giant house. "This is not a suitable
world, being both animus and somewhat large. I presume you desire one of the
same size as yours."
"Yes.
There should be several such worlds. If you could take us to one of those, it
would greatly facilitate my mission."
ANIMA 191
"I
will gladly take you there. But I fear your disappointment." He entered
his house, then set his hands at his giant table so that they could get off.
"They
will not help me?"
"They
may be willing, but unable. Their magic will derive from their own worlds, and
perhaps will not apply to yours."
"But
your magic worked on Oria," Nona reminded him. "Theirs should
also."
"Jupiter
is a world in the direct line of descent to Oria," Angus said. "The
animus travels in that direction, so seems to have force throughout. But the
worlds which are equivalent to yours spring from three different rads, and are
parallel, not senior. Also, the anima flows oppositely, and may not obey any similar
rule. That may make a difference."
Nona
evidently hadn't thought of that. "Can we verify that?" she asked,
concerned.
"Only
by trying. Perhaps it will be all right, because they are parallel."
"I
hope so. Even if the magic of those women derives from their own world, perhaps
it will carry across to Oria. They may not be drawing on Oria's power, but may
be much the same."
"This
is possible." Darius wasn't certain whether Angus was trying to ease her
worry, having warned her of the possibility of failure, or really believed in
the chance.
"We
would like to go immediately," Nona said. "My world is in pain, and I
wish to alleviate it as quickly as I can."
"I
fear there will be no painless answer," Angus said. "But your notion
may indeed diminish the pain."
"It
was Colene's notion," Nona said.
Angus
turned his gaze on Colene, who was standing with Burgess, her hand on a contact
point. "Ah, the science maiden," he said, extending his littlest
finger to chuck her under the chin. Darius was afraid she would react
negatively, because she did have some odd ideas about the proper interactions
between men and women, but she
192 CHAOS MODE
actually
put her chin forward to touch the tip of his finger. It was evident that she
liked the giant. "The inteliigent one."
"The
depressive one," Colene said, but she was pleased.
"The
traits can go together," Angus said sadly. "One pursues the pursuits
of the mind when the pursuits of the heart are lacking."
Darius
realized that the giant, for all his formidable powers of magic, was lonely. He
could surely find a woman if he chose, but perhaps was choosy. Darius
understood about that.
"If
I were your size, they would not be lacking," Nona said. She was actually
flirting with Angus! Perhaps that was because during their prior visit here the
giant had told them a story, and shown it in illusion-vision, about a man of
his world, named Earle, and his impossible love for a woman of the next larger
world, named Kara. It had been a charming and perhaps not entirely fanciful
legend.
"Surely
so," Angus agreed. "But circumstance has destined that we both be
adventurous in other ways."
"Yes."
She blew him a kiss. Darius, accustomed to Nona's completely nonseductive
ordinary manner, was almost jealous, seeing how she could be when she chose.
"Oh,
you are, are you?" Colene demanded, turning to him with a frown.
"I
shall have to do something about that telepathy of yours," Darius
muttered. "Still, I didn't see you turning away your chin when Angus
chucked you."
"Yeah?
Find yourself a woman his size, and you can flirt with her all you want."
"I
will take you," Angus said to Nona. "Do you wish to go alone, or
together?"
"Together,"
Nona said. "I would feel inadequate alone."
Angus
put his hands down again, and they climbed on. Then he took them out and up,
flying rapidly across the monstrous countryside. He was huge, but so was his
planet, and despite his velocity the journey took some time. They relaxed,
having a meal and even snoozing, secure in the gentle hands.
ANIMA 193
In due
course Angus came to a rad which looked identical to the one by which they had
arrived at Jupiter. That was not surprising; only its position on the planet
distinguished it. He mounted the filament, and they were back in the speeding
light of the alternate realm of patterns. Their movement seemed faster than
when Nona had brought them, and perhaps it was, being proportional to the scale
of the giant.
Then
they were in the sea, protected by Angus' magic, which was as strong and
versatile as Nona's. It was clear why there had been no revolution on Oria
before Nona brought the anima; the men of the animus had had overwhelming force
of magic. But if women with that same magic were brought in, then there should
soon be peace again, perforce.
Angus
bounced out of his landing place in the dimple of the East Sea and reached the
surface. He did not bother to swim; he simply rose up into the air and flew
above the sea, letting the water drip away from his body. The five of them
cupped within his hands were not wet at all. This was certainly the way to
travel!
"Now
before we approach a community, we must formulate a plan," Angus said.
"I suspect it will be better if I do not appear, at first. So I will
clothe myself in an illusion of nothing." At which point he disappeared,
and the rest of them with him; Darius could not even see his own body. It was
as if he were a ghost floating high in the air, alone.
"Yeah,
a plan, for sure," Colene agreed from empty space nearby. "Here we've
been zooming along, and we never thought how to present the case. Maybe just
have Nona walk up to the town hall or whatever and talk to the headman?"
"There
will be no headman, if it's anima," Darius pointed out. "And maybe no
headwoman either, if it just happened. This could be another world of
chaos."
"I
wish we could tell just by looking," Colene said. "But I guess a
farmstead is a farmstead, no matter who has the magic. We need to talk with
someone."
194 CHAOS MODE
Nona
considered. He could tell not by sight, which was vacant, but by her thought.
Then she came to a tentative conclusion. "Perhaps Darius and I should
approach the leader of a village, or a castle, with Seqiro. Colene can wait
with Burgess in the forest nearby, with Angus, and should there be trouble,
they can decide what to do."
"Seems
good to me," Colene said. "I can connect some with Angus, mentally,
so we can be coordinated. Maybe we should stay out of sight until Seqiro sends
a signal. If there are women ready to volunteer, they still need to be prepared
for Burgess and Angus."
So
Angus came to land in a forest glade between a village and a castle built
around a suitably sized rad. The terrain of this world seemed very similar to
that of Oria, making it parallel in every visible respect. Darius wondered
whether there was any cache of giant musical instruments, as there was near the
anchor on Oria. That depended on whether the giants of Jupiter had colonized
this world, millennia ago, and been unable to use their instruments when
succeeding generations grew smaller to accommodate the scale of the planet.
Certainly it was possible. It seemed that all the Julia universe had been
colonized by the species of man, originating from one world. No one knew which
world that had been. The legend Angus had told suggested that it was Oria, but
there could be similar legends identifying other worlds scattered throughout
this universe. However, the fact that the anchor was on Oria, and its people
were the same size as those of other Modes, suggested that Oria could be the
origin. Men might have crossed to it via some other Virtual Mode, too long ago
for contemporary memory. All the other animals, and the plants, might have
crossed the same way, brought by man.
"Yeah,
like Adam and Eve," Colene said as they became visible. "The Garden
of Eden might have been on some other Mode, and the first man and woman came
here with a Noah's Ark full of goodies, I mean animals and seeds galore, to be
fruitful and multiply across a new universe."
ANiMA 195
"Unless
man evolved in Julia, and crossed from here lo the other Modes," Darius
suggested.
"It
sure is a bigger framework than we know," she agreed. "Back on Earth,
they think Earth is all there is. I'd like to take one of their scientists and
give him a taste of the Virtual Mode!"
Soon
the three set out, in a reduced version of the traveling show: Darius wearing a
blue tunic, leading Seqiro, with Nona riding, her tunic red. This was an
innocuous group that should be able to pass muster as either me servant of an
animus man leading his master's horse and mistress, or an anima woman with her
horse and husband. Darius was armed with a theow club, which he as an animus
servant might carry more for show than for use. Not all men had magic, on an
animus world; only the firstborn and firstborn descendants of firstborns. Just
as it would be the lastboms of the lastborns who had the most magic, on an
anima world. The pattern of magic became confusion to Darius, and he never had
figured out exactly how it worked.
At
least there were no barricades. Seqiro explored the minds of the inhabitants as
the three approached the village, orienting more rapidly because they were
quite similar to those he had encountered on Oria. Almost immediately he had
the answer: These are animus.
"Then
there is no point in proceeding farther," Nona said with regret. "We
do not want more animus on Oria. In fact, we do not want them even to know that
Oria has changed, lest they get mischievous ideas."
Seqiro
started to turn, to go back the way they had come without entering the village.
But at that point someone came out from the village, hailing them. "You
folk lost?" a man in blue called. "Who you looking for?"
"We
changed our minds," Darius replied. He had to be the spokesman here, being
male. "We have decided not to visit this village."
"Where
are you from?" the man asked.
"A
far village," Darius said, not wishing to misrepresent their situation,
but also not wishing to give it away.
196 CHAOS MODE
"Have
you checked in with the despots? You have to know you can't just come through
here on your own without despot approval."
"We
had better do that, then," Darius said, feeling uncomfortable.
"I
will lead you to the castle," the man said.
'There
is no need; we can see it from here."
"I
insist. It is my job to inform the despots of anything that happens in the
village."
Worse
yet! Darius had forgotten how tightly the despots of Oria had controlled things,
when they had been in power.
Now a
blackbird altered course and flew toward them. That is a despot familiar,
Seqiro thought. / can stun it.
"I
think you had better," Darius said. Then, to the man: "We have
decided not to check in with the despots after all. We will simply go away and
not disturb your village."
"You
are acting suspiciously," the man said. He started to raise his right
hand.
Stop
him! Seqiro's thought came. Grabbing his club, Darius leaped for the man. He
saw the bird falling out of the sky as Seqiro stunned it.
But the
man had a club of his own. He lifted it to parry Darius' blow, and it was
quickly apparent that he knew more about its effective use than Darius did.
Then
the man leaped up into the air—and didn't come down. His arms and legs flailed
ineffectively, unable to gain purchase against the air.
Darius
stepped back, realizing that Nona had used her magic to lift the man up. But
she would not be able to hold him that way long, because magic did take energy.
The man
dropped into a bush. He scrambled up and fled, having had enough. Darius felt
fear, and knew that Seqiro was assisting the man on his way. Nona was breathing
hard, but was all right. They retreated up the road, leaving the village
behind.
"We
did not handle that smoothly," Darius remarked, trying to smile.
AN1MA 197
"At
least we learned what we needed to," Nona said. 'This world has nothing
for us."
They
rounded a turn in the road, about to cut back into the forest to rejoin the rest
of their party. But a black-clad man was riding a horse at a gallop toward
them, evidently having been alerted. Probably there had been more than one
familiar, and a party had been sent out to intercept the suspicious strangers
before the first familiar had been stunned. This was trouble.
"Oh,
he'll have magic matching mine!" Nona exclaimed. "I don't know what
to do!"
"Try
a fireball," Darius suggested, hurrying back to take Seqiro's lead again.
She
tried, but he felt her failure. "I can't do it, here. It just doesn't
work."
Darius
realized that the Virtual Mode had limits which did not perfectly match those
of any one of its component anchor Modes. So Nona was actually a better
magician there than in her home Mode, while being restricted on other Modes,
just as he was. Some day he would like to know exactly what the rules were.
They surely had a sensible pattern, if only he could fathom it.
But
right now they had a pressing problem, and he had no better idea what to do
than Nona did. Colene liked to type him as a leader, but he really wasn't; she
was the leader. When things got difficult, sometimes he figured out a good
course, and sometimes he just blundered through. Colene thought of him as the
King of Laughter, as if he had executive power and was happy, but his power was
more like that of a public servant, and happiness was not really its essence.
Distributing joy had its down side. He really was no adventurer by choice.
Meanwhile
the black-cloaked horseman was charging toward them, and now he heard another
set of hoofbeats from the village: another despot. They were trapped.
Oh, for
pity's sake! Colene's thought came. Let me handle it.
Darius
was glad to agree, and so was Nona. Both of
198 CHAOS MODE
them
let Seqiro bring Colene's mind into theirs, so that she could for the moment
act for them.
The
first despot arrived, his horse coming to a halt with a spray of pebbles from
the road. He was a saturnine man with a scar on his forehead. "Who are
you, theows?" he demanded roughly.
"We
don't have to answer to you," Darius said for Colene. It was an odd
experience, letting his mouth speak her words. "We are on a mission for my
master, who brooks no interference."
The
despot scowled. Suddenly Darius was lifted into the air, magically.
"Identify your master, or he will lose you."
Then
the despot rose into the air. His jaw dropped; he was not doing it himself.
Colene had made Nona do it. "Does your master care to lose you too,
scarface?" his mouth inquired belligerently.
Both
men dropped abruptly, as the despot oriented his power on himself to counter
the outside force. That meant that Darius was free. He reached for his club,
but was abruptly frozen in place. He was able to move only his eyes, and
maintain his balance so he wouldn't fall.
"What
goes?" the other despot called, arriving on his horse. He must be the one
now controlling Darius.
"These
theows have magic," the first replied. "I think we have a foreign
despot here in disguise. His tongue is too insolent to belong to a theow."
"Then
he's not protected by the covenant," the second said. "We don't have
to treat him fairly unless he identifies himself. He forfeits his rights."
Colene
had only gotten them into deeper trouble! Darius knew that Nona could not hope
to prevail against two despots. Darius himself could do nothing; he remained
frozen by the despot's magic.
'Then
let's take his things," the first despot said. "I'll take that
excellent horse." He grabbed Seqiro's halter.
"And
1*11 take this excellent woman," the second despot said. He grabbed for
Nona, who screamed and sailed up into the air herself.
ANIMA 199
"That's
not this man's doing," the second despot said, astonished. "I have
him covered. That has to be the woman herself! We have an amazon here!"
"These
strangers must be from another world," the first despot agreed. "This
is several times as remarkable as we thought."
"Well,
she's one lovely creature, and I want her," the second despot said.
"You hold her while I rape her."
"I'll
take over the man," the first despot said. "You hold her
yourself."
Darius
felt a subtle change, and knew that the magic freezing him in place was now
wielded by a different despot. Meanwhile Nona screamed again, discovering her
magic canceled by that of the second despot. That man now grabbed her ankle and
hauled her down physically.
Then a
burst of terrible fear smote them all. Seqiro had sent out the strongest
possible emotion. Both despots fell back, mistaking the fear for their own, not
understanding it. Nona, released for the moment, descended slowly back to the
horse. Darius, similarly released, quickly brought out his three icons,
activated them, put one arm against Nona's leg and Seqiro's side, and moved the
icons from Here to There.
But as
he did so, both despots grabbed for Darius and Nona. The wrenching came, and
the three were back in the forest glade—and so were the two black-clad men.
"Oh,
no!" Colene cried. "The despots came too! And Angus is off in the
sky."
The
freeze clamped on again. Darius couldn't act, even to move the icons. He saw
that Nona was fighting off the second despot again, his magic canceling hers,
making the combat physical. Darius knew that the scene had changed but not the
situation: the two despots had too much magic.
Then
the first despot grunted and fell. Darius was freed. He saw Burgess moving his
trunk to cover the other despot. A stone flew out, striking the second despot
on the head. Burgess was taking both men out!
200 CHAOS MODE
"Okay,
conjure us all out of here, Darius," Colene said. "We want to lose
these despots before they wake up."
"No,
better to conjure the despots out," Darius said.
"Say,
yeah! Do it."
He
brought out two blank human icons. He took a hair from the head of each despot
and stuck it onto an icon. He touched each icon to the mouth of each despot, to
get saliva, and in the process picked up some breath too. Then he activated the
icons, and designated Here and There. He moved the two icons, and the two
despots disappeared.
"Great!"
Colene said. "Where'd you send them?"
"Back
to their castle," he said, indicating the castle, whose topmost turret was
just visible through foliage.
"But
you haven't been there, so you don't have it perfectly zeroed in."
"Correct;
they may arrive imperfectly zeroed in. Such as in the moat. It may be
uncomfortable."
She
laughed. "That's right! We don't care if they get bruised in transit. They
sure won't mess with us again."
Darius
nodded. "However, this has been a chancy endeavor. If Burgess hadn't taken
those despots out, we could have been in real trouble."
"Such
as some of us getting raped or killed," Colene agreed. "And never
making it back to Oria or the anchor. Yeah, when I saw what happened, I told
Burgess to let 'em have it in the heads. They never expected that kind of
attack. We're going to have to plan the next planet for less bungling. We sort
of did this one by the seat of our pants, and that's no good against despots
with magic."
"At
least it reminds us how bad the despots of Oria were," Nona said. "I
thought that chaos was worse than rule by the despots, but now I think it
isn't."
There
was a sound, and the ground shuddered. Then Angus appeared, literally: he had
landed while invisible, men stopped the illusion of nothing so that they could
see him. "I gather this is the wrong world," he said.
"Way
wrong," Colene agreed. "But we have a couple to go yet."
ANIMA 201
"But
at least we have ascertained that folk from a parallel world will be able to
wield their magic on yours."
"How
do we know that?" Nona asked.
"If
your own magic works here, theirs should work there. We have established the
principle of transfer of magic between parallel planets."
Nona
nodded, surprised. He was right.
They
climbed onto Angus' hands, and he bore them invisibly away. It was a great
comfort having him along.
They
returned to the East Sea and used the filament to return to Jupiter. Then Angus
carried them on around another quarter of the planet to the next parallel rad.
Before they used it, Angus had to eat and sleep, because he had been doing all
the work of transport and was tiring. He lay down in a low tent he made, and
they took turns mounting guard through the night. The Jupiter night was the
same length as the Oria night, just as its surface gravity was the same, thanks
to the magical nature of the Julia Mode.
They
discussed plans for the next planet. They concluded that this time they would
simply observe, and if they saw black and white tunics in castles and blue and
red tunics in the villages, they would assume it was an animus world. But just
to be sure that the colors hadn't changed, they would try to catch at least one
man or woman in the act of magic. Failing that, they would investigate a
village, with a preplanned conjuration route out. No confrontations with
magic-wielding men, if they could possibly avoid them.
In the
morning they traveled the filament to the world. Angus settled gently down near
a village, invisible, and they remained in his hands and watched. The people
wore blue and red tunics, and there was no evidence of magic. Then a
black-tunicked man rode in, and floated out of his saddle when he dismounted.
The blues and reds deferred to him.
They
departed quietly. This was another animus world.
In due
course they reached the fourth world—and it too
202 CHAOS MODE
was
animus. Only Oria had changed, thanks to Nona's effort.
"Now
what?" Colene inquired, dispirited. "I thought 1 had such a great
idea!"
"There
are other worlds," Angus said.
"But
they won't be similar to Oria, will they? They'll be all different sizes, with
different-si zed people, and maybe if they aren't parallel, the magic won't
cross over."
"We
have only to take Nona there and see whether her magic works," Darius
said. "Perhaps we can find one that is close to Oria in size."
"Certainly,"
Angus agreed. He took them to a larger planet on a filament from a smaller rad.
It too was animus. He went to a smaller one, and it was animus. "It seems
that most of the satellites of Jupiter are animus, Jupiter being an animus
world," he said.
"But
Nona can't be the only one who ever brought the anima," Colene said.
"Surely
not," Angus agreed. "In time, most of the worlds will become anima.
But the pattern of change differs. The animus comes to all worlds at once,
while the anima comes slowly, world by world. It seems to have been not unduly
long since the animus came, so relatively few worlds have reverted to anima. You
are the ninth of the ninth generation, therefore the first woman of your world
with magic. On other worlds it may require more generations for a woman to
achieve magic, and many of those women may be killed before they succeed.
Perhaps on some of the worlds nearer the primary world the process takes fewer
generations, but it would be very difficult for us to search beyond the
environs of Jupiter, and the magic might not transfer. I think our best chance
remains with Jupiter. There are many satellite worlds, and eventually we should
find one that is anima."
"Actually,
we found one before," Colene said. "When we first came to meet you.
But it was tiny."
"Size
is a problem," he agreed.
They
continued to search—and the next world was an-
AN1MA 203
ima.
"Glory be!" Colene breathed, watching a red-clad
•I woman summon a familiar to her.
But
there was a problem: this was a larger world, and its people were larger. Their
typical person was a head taller than those of Oria of the same sex. Their
women were half a head taller than Darius. This would hardly pass unno-
; ticed on Oria.
Then
Colene had another notion. "Look, people vary,
: right? I mean, I'm five feet, small
for the women of my world, but within the normal range. There must be small
women here, maybe like tall women on Oria, who could
'•'' pass well enough. And maybe some size
will help, making them regal."
.f It seemed to make sense.
They
decided to try the woman-man-horse approach again, this time going to a castle
where red tunics dominated. But they rehearsed carefully, and Darius had his
icons and conjure site ready for quick use. They would
• conjure out the moment there was a
threat. If they were unable, Colene, Burgess, and Angus would come in after
them. Angus could, if necessary, lift the roof off the castle and pull them out
by hand. His magic was the same as theirs, but he was so much larger that his
powers of lev-itation had much greater effect.
Darius
led Seqiro up to the castle. Huge men in blue challenged him at the entrance.
"I
bring a woman from another world, who asks an unusual favor," he said.
"Is
she anima?" ^ "Yes."
"Then
bring her in."
• No verification? But probably that would be
the province of the mistress of the castle.
Nona
floated off the horse's back and landed neatly on : her feet. "May my companions enter too?" she
asked.
"As
you wish." For here an amazon's word governed. Nona walked on in, and
Darius followed, leading Seqiro. The castle was large, being in proportion to
the planet and people; he felt dwarfed. There was a stable to
204 CHAOS MODE
the
side, with horses larger than Seqiro, but not by much; Seqiro was a very large
horse to begin with. Nona indicated that she wanted her horse with her, and
there was no protest.
They
were met by a giant, regal woman in a palatial anteroom. In addition to her red
tunic she wore a red crown. She was direct. "How did you come here?"
"We
flew in, invisible, (hen walked to the castle," Nona said.
"From
what world do you come?"
"We
call it Oria. It is on a filament from another rad of Jupiter. It is smaller
than yours."
"Why
is the horse so valuable you kept him with you?"
"He
has special magic that greatly facilitates communication."
"Demonstrate
this."
Nona
and Darius stood silent. Seqiro spoke for himself. / am Seqiro. I am from
another Mode, which is a separate reality from Julia. My kind is telepathic.
The
queen's mouth remained closed. Turn and touch the wall, she thought.
Seqiro
turned and touched the wall with his nose.
"Is
the man also special?" the queen asked.
"Yes,"
Nona said, then hesitated.
She is
not hostile, nor will she violate hospitality, Seqiro thought. She has royal
honor, needing no subterfuge.
'This
is true," the queen said. Seqiro had evidently shared his thought with the
woman. "You must have had experience with the men of animus, whose honor
is suspect. You may safely answer the question."
"The
man is also from another Mode. He has conjuration magic unlike ours. We depend
on it to extricate us, should we encounter danger."
The
queen turned to Darius. "Demonstrate."
He
brought out his own icon, invoked it, and conjured himself to the other side of
the chamber.
The
queen faced Nona. "What is the favor you ask?"
"To
bring some of your smaller anima women to my world, which became anima only a
month ago and as yet
ANIMA 205
lacks
women with magic. It is in a state of chaos, and needs governing."
"I
believe we can arrange this," the queen said. For the first time, she
smiled. "Now we shall exchange introductions, and you and your friends
will share our hospitality."
"I
am Nona, the ninth of the ninth," Nona said. "I brought the anima to
our world of Oria."
"Ah,
you are the one," the queen said. "Your powers must then be great
indeed. And your man?"
"He
is Darius, a friend. The horse is Seqiro, also a friend."
The
queen nodded. "I am Hyacinth, governess of this province. She paused, then,
with exquisite timing, added one caveat: "But what will you offer in
return for this service?"
"In
return?" Nona asked blankly.
"You
ask us to give up a number of our women, with their powers of magic. What do
you give in exchange, of equivalent value?"
"I
thought that the women would consider it a privilege," Nona said, taken
aback.
"Perhaps.
But I shall not be going, and I do not do something for nothing."
Darius
realized that the queen's businesslike approach had been deceptive. She was not
a despot who tried to take by force what she wanted, but neither was she a
generous spirit. She expected quid pro quo. It made sense.
"What
did you have in mind?" Nona asked, shaken.
Hyacinth
frowned professionally. "Perhaps your man of strange magic. We could find
uses for him here."
Nona
was appalled. "But I could not—I have no right—"
The
queen shrugged. "The horse, then. That mind-talk magic is
impressive."
Get
Colene, Darius thought to Seqiro. But he had forgotten that in Julia the
horse's telepathic range was limited. Colene was out of range. They would have
to get through this by themselves.
"The
horse is not mine to give," Nona said.
206 CHAOS MODE
"That
is unfortunate." The queen made a tiny gesture with one hand. Men wearing
black tunics approached.
Nona
turned a frozen face to Darius, She believed they were being betrayed.
No. I
would stun the queen if that happened. This is merely hospitality.
The
horse had to know. They waited.
The
lead man bowed to Nona. "If it please you, Lady Nona, I will conduct you
to your suite. Do you wish to have the man with you, or separately
ensconced?"
Again,
Nona was set back. But Darius, casting about for an appropriate course of
action, had an answer. If the queen is to be trusted, we should bring in the
others. Colene or Angus should know how to proceed.
Gratefully,
Nona turned to the queen and voiced her request. "We are actually a party
of six. May we bring in our companions to join us in dialogue with you?"
"Of
course," Hyacinth said. "Who and where are they?"
"They
would not reveal themselves to strangers. But if you send someone out with us,
we will go to fetch them."
"I
will go witfi you myself," the queen said.
They
exited the castle, the queen walking serenely beside Seqiro. She evidently did
not stand on ceremony when interested in something. Nevertheless, she had
remarkable poise.
Hyacinth's
glance dropped down to touch him. "Thank you, Darius."
And she
was amazingly swift to catch on to the way of telepathy.
"It
is my business to make rapid assessments," she said.
Soon
they came into range, and Seqiro acquainted the others of the situation.
Whereupon the huge shape of Angus appeared, floating above the trees, with
Colene and Burgess in his hand. He came to land before them, and introductions
proceeded.
"You
wear green," the queen noted, gazing at Angus.
"I
am a visitor to this fair world." Green was the color
ANIMA 207
of
visitors whose status was not defined. "I could wear black if I chose, but
I suspect this would be meaningless here." For here black indicated the
men of theow status.
"Green
becomes you," the queen agreed. "I presume that you of the animus
have no interest in acquiring this world."
"None,"
he agreed. "My interest is only in facilitating the interest of Nona of
Oria."
"I
fear our castle is insufficient to accommodate you, unless you are able to
change your size."
"!
can change the size of inanimate things, but not myself," he replied.
"But have no concern, Queen Hyacinth. I will remain aloof until my friends
need me again."
"You
represent the transport of women to Oria?"
"This
is so."
"Will
you accede to showing yourself to our population, that they may this once in
their lives appreciate what lies beyond our world?"
He
squinted a huge eye at her. "And what will you offer in return?"
She
laughed. "What did you have in mind?"
"Let
me suggest alternatives. It is possible that Nona will deal with you, and you
will have the franchise for recruiting small women of your realm and
neighboring realms, making what deals please you with other castles, and I will
appear in my full size to take these women in my hands and convey them along
the filaments to Oria, together with my friends, including the magic man and
magic horse, making as many trips as are required. Or it may be that I will
convey Nona and her party to the adjacent queendom to see whether they are more
amenable to such an agreement, in which case they would have the franchise and
if any of your women wish to go to Oria, you will negotiate with that other
realm. This seems reasonable to me; does it seem so to you?"
The
queen nodded. "It is a pleasure to bargain with the animus."
Darius
realized that Angus had neatly countered the
208 CHAOS MODE
queen's
demand for something of significant value, by threatening to take Nona's
business elsewhere.
Colene
thought of it, Seqiro thought.
It did
have the flavor of Colene's nature. Nona had been ineffective, as had Darius
himself, but Colene's sharp intelligence and aggressive nature had found the
key. Nona was lovely and nice and talented, but Colene had survival skills they
needed. This kept being demonstrated in small or significant ways. If only she
lacked her two great liabilities of youth and depression!
They
climbed onto Angus' hands, and Darius helped Queen Hyacinth up. It was an
honorary gesture; she made herself light enough so as almost to float, and he
guided her. On this world men served women in all ways, and the protocol
reflected it.
Angus
lifted and flew to the castle, where there was now a fine array of people, the
red and blue tunics in the foreground, the black and white ones behind. Angus
came down on his feet before the rad on which the castle was built, and put his
hands out to the castle, so that the party could enter without ever climbing
the hill. It was an impressive minor show.
The
rest of the day passed in festivities at the castle. Darius knew that Queen
Hyacinth was sending her minions out, alerting other queendoms to the
situation. It would require a few days to assemble the women, and meanwhile
their small group would suffer the castle hospitality. He remembered how
seduction, rape, and theft had been the order of the night at the despot castle
on Oria, when he had first been there. He wasn't sure whether it was a better
quality of ruler here, or that women simply were less interested in such
activities, but there was nothing of that nature now. He shared a suite with
Nona and Colene, while Burgess and Seqiro were in the stable, by their own
choice; less was expected of animals, and it was close enough so that all of
them remained in the ambience of telepathy. Angus snoozed invisibly in the
glade, making periodic appearances to awe the natives.
In due
course it was done. Forty-nine diminutive maid-
ANIMA 209
ens,
their magic intact, assembled at the castle, ready to travel to Oria to be the
queens of its various regions. The smallest woman was Nona's size; the others
were larger, but still could pass for tall natives. They understood that not
all the folk would welcome them, particularly the deposed despots, but they
planned to work together at first, securing each kingdom, leaving one of their
number there, and going on to the next. They were experienced in the system of
the anima, and knew how to govern men. The women of Oria would support them,
knowing that this occupation was for the benefit of the following generation.
Soon enough the world would be secure and at peace. Certainly these governesses
would be far more effective than Nona could ever have been alone.
Angus
began the job of ferrying them across. Now the core party had to split,
temporarily. Seqiro and Nona went with the first group of seven women, to
enable them to communicate with the women of Oria, for the languages were not
the same. The first job would be to establish a basis for translation. Nona
would explain that these women had come to govern the world and see to the
protection of the girls of Oria who would assume power as they matured. They
would secure Nona's village and adjacent castle, and Angus would bring the
other women there.
Of
course the telepathy stopped when the first group departed. But the
understanding had been worked out, and Darius, Colene, and Burgess needed only
hand signals to indicate their wishes. Burgess had become a creature of some
attention; the folk liked to see him float and hurl stones. They brought him
baskets of fruit to consume.
On the
second trip, Burgess went with seven women. They had learned how to communicate
with him, though it was rudimentary compared to what Colene, buttressed by
Seqiro, could do. That left Darius alone with Colene for the night, and
naturally she tried to seduce him, and as usual he declined. They could
converse well enough, because of her developing telepathy, and of course they
210 CHAOS MODE
did
know some words of each other's languages. He hoped she did not know how
infernally tempting her offers were.
/ love
knowing that, she thought smugly.
He made
as if to spank her. She countered his bluff by baring her bottom. The sight was
electrifying, because in his Mode women wore huge diapers to conceal their
posterior contours. He turned away, lest he lose more than the game. She
laughed and hugged him from behind. A stranger would never have realized that
she was not a vessel of
joy.
You
give me joy, Darius.
But it
was not the same. A transient emotion could not compare to a permanently joyful
nature. That had been their problem throughout. If only this vessel of dolor
were not the woman he loved!
/ know
I shouldn't tease you, Darius. If you want to be with one of the local women
tonight, I will understand.
Yes.
And Colene would slice her wrists until he returned to her.
Touche!
But
some day he would have that cute piece of flesh. Then he would make up for all
the blocked temptation she had put him through.
Why
wait?
This
time he didn't threaten her. He kissed her. That ended her teasing. For a while.
On the
following day three more groups departed. Then two on the third day. On the
next to last trip, one woman returned, bringing a report of the proceedings on
Oria: verification that the enterprise was legitimate. Queen Hyacinth had made
sure to confirm it, as a smart manager should. The reporting woman took the
final trip out, satisfied to remain on Oria, and Darius and Colene went too.
There was a date to have regular contact between the worlds at monthly
intervals; more women might wish to go. But for now, it was done.
Darius
and Colene stood on Angus' hand and made formal bows of parting to the queen.
They knew that Hy-
ANIMA 211
acinth
had made the most of this opportunity, and gained prestige in a global sense.
Her people had also been treated to the remarkable sight of a giant from
Jupiter. They knew that such folk existed, but seldom was it shown so directly.
Hundreds of the local large folk waved farewell.
Then
Angus ascended and flew east. Most of the time of these trips was spent
crossing the surfaces of the planets: this one, Oria, and Jupiter. But Angus
was now thoroughly familiar with the route, and covered it efficiently.
"So
are you sad to leave all these big, talented women behind?" Colene asked
Darius teasingly. She was a head shorter than any of them, though the same size
as they in proportion to her home world. It had been a mind-numbing experience
to be among so many women whose magical abilities matched Nona's, and many of
them were quite young and attractive. But of course he wouldn't say that to
Colene.
"Yeah,
sure you wouldn't," she said sourly. "But I guess it sort of puts
Nona in perspective, eh?"
It sort
of did. If he ever wanted to retire with a magical woman, this was the place to
do it. However, he amended his thought before Colene could react, he had no
wish for such a retirement, and in any event, he was needed in his own Mode.
They
rode the filament, and the amazons were just as thrilled and awed as anyone
else. None of them had expected to make such a journey in her life, until this
sudden opportunity had appeared. What was the point, when most of the worlds
were animus, as well as being the wrong size?
They
crossed the enormous surface of Jupiter, and the amazons were impressed again. Then
onto the other filament, and finally across Oria to their starting point.
The
local region had already been pacified. The black and white cloaks were
properly subservient and the barricades were down. Tall red-tunicked women were
using their magic to generate food and other supplies, and to make quick
repairs. Life was already visibly better.
212 CHAOS MODE
They
reached the castle. There they were reunited with Nona, Seqiro, and Burgess,
who were being treated as royally here as they had been on the amazon world.
Things were looking very good, and Nona seemed much happier.
The
mission here had been accomplished, and enough time had passed so that it
should be safe to return to the Virtual Mode. Colene was eager to resume their
journey. So was he.
CHAPTER
10
MALADY
DURGESS
liked traveling on the Virtual Mode, but
did not
like constantly encountering rough or
sloping
terrain, so that the others had to carve a path for
him or
haul him along on a wagon. He needed a way to
travel
without being a burden to the others.
He
discussed it with Nona, while they waited for the remaining amazons to be
brought across to their new hive. Communication between them was not good, but
the problem was evident: he needed a way to traverse irregular ground, and to
mount slopes. They experimented, and came up with something promising. Nona
generated a long flat piece of material that was light but firm. She laid this
on the ground, and he floated along it without difficulty. Then she took it to
the countryside and laid it over the brushy, rocky terrain. He was able to
float along it, but tended to slide off the side when it wasn't level. She
modified it to have ridges along the sides that enabled him to stay on. She
made a second piece, which she set at the end of the first, so that he could
cross from one to the other. While he floated along the second, she used her
magic to float the first to the front, where it became a continuation of his
path. It was working! He was able to traverse much rougher terrain
214 CHAOS MODE
than
before, because the smooth, flat artificial path gave his air purchase. This
would enable him to move much more readily by himself. Instead of undertaking
the tedious job of filling in sand to make a path for him, they could lay down
the artificial path.
But the
problem of slope remained. The path was no help there; he could not get enough
forward motion to propel him up it. He could come down it by pumping through
less air, so as to touch the surface and drag, but that was slow. He needed a
way to move at normal speed.
Seqiro
had a suggestion: the horse could pull him along on a rope. They experimented
with ropes, and it helped; Burgess could float on a slope if held in place by
the rope. When the horse pulled, Burgess traveled along. He held on to the rope
by sucking on a ball at its end; when he wished to let it go, he merely stopped
sucking. They practiced and got better. It was easier than using a wagon, and
faster, because they didn't need to take time to grow the wagon to size. It
wasn't perfect, but would do. Now Burgess could travel with somewhat greater
independence.
By the
time Darius and Colene returned, they had it working fairly well. Colene was
pleased when she learned; she kissed him on an eye stalk. She was supposed to
be an unhappy creature, but he was learning joy from her.
In due
course they returned to the Virtual Mode. Burgess moved along better than
before, because of the path. Because it was one continuous piece, formed from
the material of an anchor world, it extended across the Mode boundaries when
pushed through the boundary. It was there, beyond, but disappeared, looking as
if it had been abruptly cut off, because their vision was limited to whatever
Mode they were in. When they came to a hill, Nona fastened the length of rope
to Seqiro's harness, and it too extended invisibly across the boundaries but
remained firm. Then Burgess floated on up the slope, balancing on his air as
the rope provided forward motion. Nona, following, picked up the path as he
left it, and stepped ahead to put it down in front. She popped out of view as
she went ahead, then reappeared as he caught up to the next joining.
MALADY 215
The
process became automatic, and they moved along well.
Then
they came to a broad marshy plain. The feet of the humans and horse sank down
in the muck, making progress difficult for them, while Burgess floated along
without trouble. Now the situation was reversed; they were the ones who
required assistance.
They
considered, and decided to make a kind of sledge without runners, that would
rest on the surface of the swamp. It would not be exactly a boat, but would
serve similarly. They did this, growing a craft large enough to hold the four
of them. But when they tried to move it, it wedged in the muck and advanced
only so grudgingly that it was evident it would be useless for traveling.
"I
wish we could float across, the way Burgess does," Nona remarked.
"Say,
maybe we can," Colene said, her mind taking hold. "He floats on a
thin cushion of air, never actually touching the gook below. If we could get
air like that, we wouldn't bog down either."
"But
he is constructed to pump air," Darius said. "We are not."
"But
maybe if we had an air pump, we could do it. Force air down below the sledge,
so it bubbles out around, making a cushion. Maybe it wouldn't exactly float,
but those bubbles would sure be less restrictive than this muck. Then maybe we
could pole it along at a decent crawl."
"But
we don't have anything to pump air," Darius pointed out. "That's not
the kind of magic I do, and Nona doesn't either. We don't know enough of your
science to make such a device."
Then
Colene fixed on Burgess. "Maybe we could use you, Burg. How much air could
you pump, if you had to?"
There
was no answer for that. Burgess moved all the air he needed to, to float.
"I
mean, suppose we tied you down over a hole in the sledge, and you pumped air
down through that, so it came out around the edges? It might take a lot of
pres-
216 CHAOS MODE
sure.
Would that wear you out, or suffocate you or something?"
Suffocate
on air? He was learning enough of their concept of humor to know that was
funny.
They
tried it. They fashioned the sledge with a hole in the center, covered by
netting, so that air could pass through while the muck was restrained. They
made a kind of enclosure so that Burgess could rest within it, and the outflow
of air around his canopy would be blocked. They put ropes over him so that when
he pumped air he would not rise. It all seemed complicated and ineffective, but
he was willing to try what they wanted, especially when Colene requested it.
He
pumped air. There was some resistance, so he pumped harder. This forced the air
down under the sledge and along its bottom. The air began to bubble out around
the edges.
But it
didn't bubble evenly. It made a few channels, and burped out through them,
leaving the sledge mired.
"Hm,"
Colene said. "We need to make that air more viscous, so it forms a sheet
supporting the sledge. Only problem is, how do we do that?"
No one
knew. It looked as if they would simply have to slog slowly through the muck
for the days or weeks it would take to reach solid land again, or else retreat
and look for some other route through the Virtual Mode.
"This
is no good," Colene said. "We have to keep moving. For one thing,
suppose that mind predator spies me again? I'm not using my bit of telepathy at
all, on the Virtual Mode, so as to keep a low profile, but it might make a
routine check and find me. I need to be able to get to an anchor in a hurry, if
that happens. And the rest of you don't want to be bogged down in muck forever,
or going back over familiar ground."
"Those
may nevertheless be our choices," Darius said.
"I
don't accept those choices!" she flared. "We need new choices!"
He
shrugged, which was a kind of stretching and relax-
MALADY 217
ation
of his upper body in a manner not available to Burgess. "How do we get new
choices?"
"Maybe
we should brainstorm," she said.
The
others were not familiar widi the concept, and she had to clarify it: all
members of the hive thinking new thoughts at a rapid rate, without regard to
reasonableness. It was hoped that from such a deluge would come something
useful. Possibly something which at first seemed impossible.
They
tried it. The three humans touched Burgess' contact points, and the horse
strengthened their ability to communicate, making the hive fully current.
"Remember, anything at all can be suggested," Colene said. "And
we take it seriously. We consider it, and if then it doesn't work out, we go on
to the next. Like, I'll suggest we all sprout wings and fly across. What do the
rest of you say to that?"
"I
don't need wings to fly," Nona said. "I can levitate myself or
others, but I lack the strength to lift us all."
"I
don't fly, I conjure," Darius said. "But it's not safe to conjure
blind, or across Mode boundaries. Otherwise I could move us across this
bog."
Burgess
didn't fly, he floated; he could not rise more than a trace above the ground.
"You're
all being too negative," Colene protested. "Don't tell us what you
can't do, tell us what we maybe can do."
But the
rest of them lacked Colene's ready intelligence and initiative. They could not
have ideas the way she could.
"Burgess
is right," Nona said. "We need to have Colene's mind, to do this
well."
Darius
could multiply joy and other emotions. Could he multiply intelligence? If so,
he could give them all Colene's smartness for a while.
"Yes,
what about that?" Nona asked. "Burgess has another interesting idea.
Can you multiply Colene's mind, Darius?"
"I
doubt—"
218 CHAOS MODE
"Nuh-uh,
diaper worshiper!" Colene said. "Have you ever tried it?"
"Intelligence
is not the same as mood or emotion."
"How
do you know?" Nona asked. "Perhaps Colene is smart because she feels
smart, just as she is depressed because she feels depressed."
Perhaps
Colene was smart because she was depressed.
Nona
laughed. "Then I don't want to be smart!"
"I
can multiply her emotion," Darius said. "But that will bring her
depression. If, however, that enables the rest of us to think more
clearly—"
"Can
you reverse it, after we get an idea?" Nona asked.
"By
drawing from a happier person," he said.
"Who
is the happiest among us?" Nona asked.
They
considered. "Seqiro," Colene said.
She was
right. The horse loved being with intelligent and friendly minds, even when
they were depressed minds.
"So
first you multiply Colene," Nona said. 'Then you multiply Seqiro, after we
have an idea."
"I
think this is foolish—"
He was
drowned out by the others: no negative thoughts allowed.
So
Darius embraced Colene, and drew from her, then sent it out to all of them.
Burgess felt distinctly less positive than he had before, but he also felt the
urge to explore and understand the mysteries of things, and a desire to move
rapidly on out of this marsh before the mind predator came again. He thought
there should be a way, if they could only find it.
"I
want to get the Hades out of this hole!" Nona exclaimed
uncharacteristically.
You and
me both, luscious body, Seqiro responded, similarly uncharacteristically.
"Great
fishes and little gods, you sound just like me!" Colene exclaimed,
laughing.
If
Darius could multiply mood and intelligence, could he also multiply magic? Such
as Nona's ability to lift
MALADY 219
things?
Because then he could make the sledge with its burden light enough to float on
air.
"Why
not?" Colene asked. "Darius uses magic, and Nona uses magic. Maybe
they can mix!"
Both
Darius and Nona tried to demur—and were stopped by the others, again invoking
the no-negative rule.
So
Darius embraced Nona. "I will try to draw and multiply her magic," he
said. "If I succeed, all of you will acquire it, so all of you must focus
on the sledge, trying to make it light. You, Burgess, will know whether it
becomes easier to push air under it."
He drew
from Nona, and sent it out. Burgess concentrated on his air pumping, trying to
make it more effective by making the sledge magically lighter.
He felt
the air moving more readily. The sledge lifted. In a moment the entire sledge
was floating just above the surface of the swamp, in the manner Burgess did
when unattached. It was working!
"It's
working!" Colene echoed. "I feel it! I'm drawing on Nona's
magic!"
So am
I, Seqiro thought.
"And
I," Darius said. "I have her magic!"
"Let's
see just how strong it is, with all of us doing it," Colene said.
"Everybody get on the sledge!"
They
got on, one by one, until all of their weight was there, and still it floated.
It had been made so light that Burgess could lift it exactly as he did himself,
with the air no longer bubbling because the sledge no longer touched mud. When
it tilted slightly, Burgess directed more air that way, and this righted the
structure.
However,
it was only floating, not moving. Burgess lacked the control to do more than
float it.
"That's
easy," Colene said. "We can pole it, same as a boat, or maybe we can
magically pull on something ahead, the same way Nona does when she flies."
They
tried it. The sledge lurched forward—and sank into the muck.
'Too
many diverted their attention," Darius said. "We
220 CHAOS MODE
need to
have one or two do the pulling, and the others do the floating."
They
experimented again, and found that Seqiro had to focus on floating, because he
weighed more than all the rest of them combined. He could float his own weight,
but none of them could float him. So Nona and Colene, the two least massive
members of the hive, concentrated on pulling.
The
sledge moved, at first jerkily, then more smoothly. It passed through the next
Mode boundary. They were on their way!
The swamp
was large, but now they were moving well, and made visible progress across it.
The complexion of the plants in it shifted from Mode to Mode, but its general
nature didn't change. Some Modes were raining, and in some the marsh became
open water, but it didn't matter; Burgess could handle water as readily as
solid land. They moved more swiftly than they would have in a boat, because
there was no liquid drag. They realized that there might be danger, crossing
boundaries so rapidly, but there also might be danger in lingering in any.
Gradually
the sledge became heavier. Those wielding the magic of lightening were tiring,
and so was Burgess. He normally did not pump air at a high volume for an
extended time. But the far shore was approaching, and it seemed they could make
it the rest of the way across before the fatigue became too bad.
Then
they passed through a region of obnoxious flying creatures. They seemed to be a
cross between shears, insects, and the birds in Colene's mind. They spied the
sledge as it passed through, and dived in. Burgess had only a few stones to
fire at them. Then Darius took up a stick of wood and used it effectively to
bat the creatures out of the air as they came close.
The
watery marsh became a lake. Things swam in it. Some had fins which projected
above the surface. The fins changed size and color with each new Mode, but the
creatures seemed to be just as interested in the odd craft. Some
MALADY 221
showed
impressive teeth. This did not seem to be the time to pause.
At last
they reached the bank. They climbed onto land, and unfastened Burgess. It felt
good to float free again!
They
made a quick camp, ate, and settled for the night. But though they were all
quite tired, they maintained a watch, because they could not know what lurked
on this land. Colene had a small device she called a watch, with a picture of
two little sticks on it. Each time the larger stick pointed in a certain
direction, it was time for a new person to begin a turn. So the one on watch also
watched Colene's wrist, and the picture on it.
Something
large did approach during Burgess' watch. But it was beyond the Mode boundary,
so could not reach them. Indeed, Burgess crossed the line beside the tent, and
the thing disappeared. It was probably walking right through the region of
their camp, but in its own Mode, where there was no camp. The creatures who
could reach their camp would be those they could see coming from the tent
itself. Burgess was merely circling the tent, passing through boundaries on
either side of it.
In the
morning they assessed their situation. The intelligence and magic had worn off,
being temporary effects, as had the depression. That was just as well, because
it seemed that their notion of gaining joy from the horse would not have worked
well; it would have been an overlay on the two prior transfers. They saw that
the new terrain was rugged; the swamp abutted the jagged slope of a mountain
range, with snow showing above. But that was the way toward the next anchor, so
they had to go there.
They
considered, and decided not to try to borrow Nona's magic again. It had helped
when they needed it, but the process also depleted her slightly, making her
less magical, and that was not good. The same went for Colene's intelligence:
they did not want her to become less intelligent. These assets needed to be
conserved.
They
used their path and rope system to haul Burgess
222 CHAOS MODE
along.
Again the others disappeared as they crossed the Mode boundaries, with only the
end of the path and the end of the rope showing. But the terrain seldom changed
significantly between adjacent Modes, so he knew approximately where he was
going.
They
crossed the foothills, traversed a high valley, and started up the main slopes.
Nona made heavy jackets for them, including the horse, but it couldn't be
managed for Burgess. He needed full access to the air. So when it became cold,
she made some fire to warm the air of the vicinity, and he was all right.
Then
the pull on the rope abruptly stopped. Burgess settled to the ground and waited
while Nona disappeared ahead. Soon she was back with news that they had
encountered a discontinuity: the ground level of one Mode was not continuous
with that of the next. This was not natural; something had excavated it. In
fact, Darius said it seemed to be a mine: a huge hole left when something of
value beneath was taken away. That, Darius said, could be trouble.
The
pull resumed, and Burgess joined the others on the chill upper slope. The mountain
continued unabated. But when he floated cautiously to the next boundary, the
feeling changed; the path had no support there. The mountain had been scooped
away, as if hivers had sucked out the dirt. Now Burgess appreciated the
problem.
Darius
explained that when he had traveled the Virtual Mode with another person,
Proves, who had later terminated her anchor so that Burgess could establish his
anchor instead, they had encountered pits like this, and fallen to the bottom
of one, and had difficulty getting out of it. There had been creatures made of
metal excavating the pits. Colene called them robots. They looked and acted
like living creatures, but they were not alive. It seemed best not to get
captured by such creatures, because they might choose to render living folk
dead, to match themselves.
Burgess
agreed. The assorted odd living creatures he had encountered (no offense to
present company) were
MALADY 223
sufficient.
Odd dead ones might be an experience best left for some other adventure. But
how were they to get past the mine pit?
They
would have to try to get around it. Unless it happened to be only a single Mode
wide, in which case they might bridge it.
Nona
went ahead, flying above the slope, disappearing as she passed the boundary. In
a moment she returned: the pit was indeed only one Mode wide.
But
Darius was not satisfied. The pits he had encountered before had been many
Modes wide, with different robots in each. It seemed that there were likely to
be similar species in adjacent Modes, who could indulge in similar activities.
So it would be better to verify whether any of the Modes beyond had pits.
Nona
flew across again, and this time was gone for a longer period. There were two
pits: the one in the next Mode, and another three Modes beyond. That seemed to
be all. She had not flown up the entire mountain, but had noted that the nature
of the rock changed, so that once they were beyond this stratum, there would
probably not be any more pits. It was not clear what they wanted from the one
type of rock. Colene said it could be anything from gold to uranium.
Nona
expanded Burgess' two paths, so that each was more solid. Then they put each
across the next Mode, so that one end was anchored in this Mode, and the far end
in the third Mode. The humans crossed, and then Burgess floated along, drawn by
the rope Darius held, out of sight in the next Mode. Burgess found the sudden
chasm awesome and had to retract his eyes and trust Nona and the rope to guide
him blind. Finally Seqiro crossed, his right hooves on one path, his left
hooves on the other. It seemed precarious, but with Colene leading him he
stepped along confidently enough, not looking down.
They
were safely across, but Burgess concluded that he was not comfortable with this
region. A broad flat plain would be much more to his liking.
They
continued up the slope, then crossed the next pit
224 CHAOS MODE
Mode in
simitar manner. Now all they had to worry about was the jagged icy ridge of the
mountain pass ahead. Burgess did not like that prospect much better than the
chasms.
In one
Mode there was a snowstorm in progress. The humans bundled up further, and
covered the horse with more warm padding. Nona took metal nails from their
supplies and enlarged them into pitons to provide firm anchorage. They hammered
these in, and left them behind, just in case they had to return this way. The
storm was uncomfortable, and it rendered visibility bad, but in a moment they
were through it and back in sunlight. That was one thing about the Virtual
Mode: if they did not like the weather in one Mode, they could readily change
it by going to the next.
There
was one benefit of the snowy reaches: Burgess no longer had to use the portable
path, because the snow leveled the surface. Now all he needed was the rope.
Nona diminished the path segments for easy portability, and they continued.
Burgess
began to feel fatigued. But as with the swamp, there was nowhere to go but on,
so he did not express distress. However, he could not conceal it, because Nona
touched one of his contact points frequently, and soon realized his situation.
"Once we pass the ridge, you can slide down on the snow, with no further
effort," she said encouragingly.
They
did pass the ridge, braving the cutting wind which crossed it, and started
cautiously down. Burgess did relax as he slid, and Nona continued to heat the
air around him with fire, but his fatigue increased. He began to feel negative,
as if his system were functioning imperfectly. His eye stalks, already cold,
worked poorly. His air lost power, and he dragged in the snow.
Then
Colene was with him. "Burgess, what's wrong? You were tired on the bog—we
all were—but not like this."
Burgess
did not know. He seemed to be suffering a malady, perhaps occasioned by the
effort of the climb and the
MALADY 225
cold
snow. He had not felt this way before in his life. Perhaps when they reached
the foot of the mountain, where it would be warm and green and level, he would
recover.
"Level,"
she said. "I wonder—you could be suffering from disorientation. You're a
creature of level land, but you've been at a tilt for hours now. Like motion
sickness; we can get real sick from that, sometimes."
Burgess
did not know.
"I
can make a level sledge," Nona suggested. "It will vary some as the
slope changes, but it should be an improvement."
She
made it. They put Burgess on it, and now he was level though the slope
remained. They let him down on the rope, and he did not even have to float.
That helped. He withdrew his eyes and let himself sleep, as his energy was low
and there was nothing he could do to assist his own travel.
In time
they reached the warmer depths, and finally they were on warm, relatively level
land again. In fact it became a series of plains which extended as far as they
could see. But Burgess did not feel better. Perhaps it would be best if they
left him on a Mode and went on without him, as he seemed to be dying.
"No
way!" Colene exclaimed unreasonably. "Listen, Burg—we're coming onto
my anchor Mode. I can tell; the terrain's starting to look like Oklahoma. I
never wanted to go back there again, and there could be some real
complications, but you're sick, maybe the way I was when the mind predator laid
siege to me, and I think we'd better just get you onto an anchor Mode and see
if that helps. We aren't going to just let you go."
Burgess
would have appreciated that, if he had had more energy. As it was, he couldn't
even float, despite the ideal terrain. It was all he could do to pump enough
air to sustain his gills.
Nona
put her hands on his contact points and concentrated. He knew that she was
exerting her magic power of healing. She had used it to fix the scrapes and
bruises they had incurred along the way. But though he felt her magic
226 CHAOS MODE
passing
through his body, and it was a warm and comforting thing, it did not make him
better. He seemed to be too alien for her to heal.
They
reshaped the sledge and put him on it. Then Seqiro hauled it, and Burgess went
with them though he did nothing on his own behalf. He regretted becoming such a
burden to the hive, but lacked the energy to protest.
Time
passed. He was aware of this because once when he extended an eye stalk and
looked around it was dark, and another time it was light again. Now that he was
using very little energy, he was not growing worse at the same rate as before,
but neither was he improving. Colene's efforts had merely extended the time it
would require for him to die.
They
came to the oddest region of the Virtual Mode yet. It had paved paths which
were straight and wide, ideal for floaters to float on. But there were no
floaters. Instead there were monstrous hurtling things traveling the paths at
extreme velocity. Burgess would have been terrified, if he had had sufficient
energy. Colene was careful to keep them to the sides of the broad paths, so as
to be clear of the metal monsters, but each time they crossed a boundary into a
new Mode, more of the things appeared. Sometimes they came to sudden halts,
screeching their protests, then after a brief pause they lurched forward again.
This was a region of ferocious madness.
They
paused to add wheels to the sledge, so that now it could roll along the side of
the path. This made it easier for Seqiro to pull.
Objects
appeared along the sides of the paths. They were large and cubic, and seemed to
have been fashioned of wood or stone. Some were so high they looked like small
mountains. They were in many colors, and patterns of colors, with oblong
designs on them.
Colene
brought the party to a halt. "Look, we're not at my anchor yet, but I
don't know if it's smart to show ourselves to the natives of these adjacent
Modes. Could be
MALADY 227
trouble.
Let's enclose Burgess' wagon, so no one can see him."
Soon he
was inside a box, with openings so that enough air could enter, and Nona was
riding with him. Through her, he remained aware of what was going on outside,
and did not need to look himself. That was good, because he lacked the energy
to do so. Nona's communication through his contact point was enough.
At last
they came to a longer halt. "This is it," Colene said. 'The next Mode
or two will be mine. But there is a problem. Last time I was here, with Proves,
they tried to stop me from leaving. I just barely made it through the anchor.
If we just go through now, someone will see us, and we'll be in trouble right
away."
"My
magic does not work, here," Darius said. "Remember, at first you did
not believe in me, because of that. But perhaps Seqiro's does, or Nona's. If
so, we may be able to stay away from trouble."
"Gee,
I hope so! 'Cause we've got to get Burgess onto an anchor Mode and see if that
helps."
/
believe my telepathy will work, Seqiro said. / have encountered no Mode where
it does not, though it may be limited on some.
"And
perhaps one or two of my abilities will work, as they did on the Shale
Mode," Nona said.
"Well,
let's try you first," Colene said to Nona. "We'll step across, and
you see if you can make the illusion of nothing. Because if you can, we can all
go there, and no one will see us."
Nona
left the wagon, and she and Colene stepped across the next boundary. There was
a wait. Then they returned. "It works!" Colene exclaimed. "All
her magic works! Everything she tried, anyway. We were invisible."
So
Seqiro pulled the wagon through the anchor, and they were all in Colene's Earth
Mode. They were all under Nona's illusion of nothing, and could not see
themselves. This had one small advantage for Burgess: die wagon was also under
the illusion, so could not be seen; now Burgess could see outside with his own
three eyes.
228 CHAOS MODE
"That's
my house, there," Colene said. "Right here is where my hideout,
Dogwood Bumshed, was. So if you're staring, Darius, you invisible man, that's
why: they took it away, thinking it was the anchor. But the anchor's not a
thing, it's a person and a place."
"I
was staring," Darius admitted. "I spent some time, confined to that
shed, learning to love you."
"Yea,
that's why I kept you locked up," Colene said fondly. "And now you're
back here."
"Is
it safe to camp at this site?" Nona asked. "So we can go back through
die anchor if we need to?"
"Should
be. My folks never come out here anyway. With nothing to see, they sure won't
bother. So it's the best place. I know my way around from here. Can you make
material for a tent, Nona? Might as well camp out in comfort."
"Certainly,"
Nona replied.
"Seqiro,
does your telepathy work here?" Colene asked next. Then she paused, and
burst out laughing. "Of course it works! We're all understanding each
other, aren't we? What an idiot I am! So we have it all: Nona's magic and
Seqiro's telepathy. I never wanted to see Earth again, but since we're here,
I'm glad it's this way."
"If
you were always this happy, I could marry you," Darius said.
"If
you'd marry me, I'd be this happy!" she retorted.
"This
seems like a pleasant enough Mode," Nona said. "Except for all those
hurtling vehicles."
"Hey,
Burgess, are you feeling better?" Colene made her way to the wagon, and
climbed in to join Nona and touch a contact point. "Damn! You're not, are
you? But maybe a few hours here will do it."
They
set up their tent and diminished the wagon, so that Burgess could be in direct
contact with the ground. But it did not seem to help. He lacked the energy or
desire even to eat. He was still sinking.
He
faded into uncomfortable sleep. But after the darkness came, and the light
again, he was no better.
MALADY 229
"Damn,
damn, damn!" Colene repeated. "I thought maybe Earth, so similar to
Shale, would be good for you. But it's not, is it? What are we going to
do?"
Burgess
no longer had the energy to send an answer through his contact points. It was
time for him to die.
—
CHAPTER 11
EARTH
"\WHAT
are we going to do?" Colene demanded v plaintively. She was such a mixture
of joy and helplessness that Nona knew that someone else would have to take the
initiative.
She
glanced at Darius, who shrugged. They were visible, in the chill early morning,
because it was not possible for her to maintain the illusion of nothing while
she slept. She knew that Darius was none too comfortable on Earth, being
deprived of his magic here. Seqiro never led the way; he always reflected the
mind of those he was with. That left Nona. She had her mind and her magic, but
now she had to try to be the thing she had never been: a leader. For a while.
"Colene,
you solved my problem in the Julia Mode," she said. "I said I would
try to solve yours. Now I shall make the effort. But you will have to help
me."
"You
were thinking of me and Darius," Colene said dispiritedly. "Now I
just want to save Burgess."
"Yes.
I must borrow from what you know, because this is your Mode. But perhaps I can
bring a fresh perspective. In my Mode, we would look for a specialist in
healing, I have tried to heal Burgess, but that aspect of my magic does not
seem to be operative here."
EARTH 231
"It's
operative on the Virtual Mode," Darius said. "But it didn't help
Burgess."
"I
think it would have, had he had an abrasion or injury," she said.
"But there seems to be something missing that my magic can not supply. J
do not know what it can be. But perhaps a person who specializes in healing
would be able to fathom it. Do you have such specialists here?"
"Sure.
Doctors. But any of them would freak out, if he saw Burgess. Even a
veterinarian. We need someone who knows Cambrian tife forms—say!" The
girl's face brightened. "Amos!"
"Who?"
"My
old science teacher. I told you about him. The one I had a crush on. He should
know, if anyone does, and he'd be fascinated with this. He'd help if he could,
I know."
"Then
we must find Amos, and bring him here," Nona said firmly. "Is it a
far walk to his residence?"
"We
can't walk, for all sorts of reasons. It's too far, and there isn't that much
time. Any man who sees you on the street—never mind. We'll have to call a
taxi."
"A
taxi?"
"It's
a car you rent, sort of, with a driver. Only problem is, we need money. I don't
have enough."
"Describe
your money, or show me a sample, and I will make more of it," Nona said.
Colene
laughed. "I don't think so. That would be counterfeiting. I'll have to
borrow some from my folks. I hate to do it, but maybe I can pay it back. Let's
check the house."
"I
can not maintain the illusion of nonexistence for the other three, if I go with
you to another place."
"Um,
yes. Okay, let's make a tent for them, and leave it in sight. The neighbors
will figure it's some project my folks are doing."
Nona's
full magic did seem to be working, here, so she did not have to grow material
tediously. She simply scooped dirt from the ground and transformed it to tent
cloth, and made pegs and poles similarly. They pitched the
232 CHAOS MODE
tent to
enclose horse, man, and floater. Nona also made extra blankets, because it was
winter in this region of this Mode, and too cold for comfort. She had used her
magic to keep them warm in the night, a mild variant of the fire spell, but
that would not remain in her absence. Then they went into the house.
"Sure
is neat in here," Colene murmured, looking around. "It was always
pretty messy when I lived here. Mom was alcoholic, and the details of housework
sort of got away from her. Dad was away, mostly."
"He
had a distant employment?"
"That
too. But when he wasn't working, he was off with his girlfriend."
"But
if he was married—"
"Marriage
in name only, mainly," the girl said sourly. "I think I was about the
only thing they had in common, and they didn't pay much attention to me. That
sort of thing leads to juvenile misfits. Ask any psychologist."
Unfortunately
that reminded Nona of her own family. The despots had destroyed it, in revenge
for her effort to bring the anima. That had perhaps been the last straw,
leaving her no reason to remain on Oria.
"Hey,
I'm sorry, Nona," Colene said. "I wasn't thinking."
"It
is not your concern."
"Yes
it is. Because I'm your friend, and I was there, so maybe I have some
responsibility for—"
"No,
it was bound to happen, whoever was there. The despots did that sort of thing
to anyone who opposed them. I knew that at the outset."
They
came to what Colene thought of as the living room. There on the table was a
small pile of papers.
Colene
went to it, startled. "This is money! And a note." She picked up the
note. "It says 'COLENE: anything you want. We want to make it right. Only
come back to us.' "
She sat
down suddenly in the couch. Nona saw that she was crying. Colene had been
alienated from her parents, yet she did still care for them.
EARTH 233
"I
think your parents need you as much as you need them," Nona said.
"I
don't need them!" But Colene's pain belied her words.
"They
tried to keep you here by force, but lost you. Now they hope you will return
voluntarily. That is not a bad thing to hope."
"I
can't stay here. I have to go with Darius. If only I could marry him."
Something
connected in Nona's mind. "On Oria, women become marriageable at eighteen.
But they can do it younger, if there is reason and their parents approve. Is it
that way in Earth Mode?"
"Yeah,
I think so. We used to joke about it at school. Some kid looked it up in an
almanac, and saw that in New Hampshire a girl could marry as young as thirteen,
or a boy of fourteen, if the parents gave permission. A lot of other states
have it at fourteen for the girl. Some don't have any age limits at all, even,
if it's okay with the parents. We'd tease someone about getting a shotgun
and—" She broke off, startled. "Fourteen! You know, I could get
married, if—but no, my folks would never approve."
Nona
touched the note in Colene's hand. She could not read it herself, because it
was in the alien Earth script. "They offer you anything."
Colene
stared at her. "Even that?"
"Perhaps
what they really want is for you to be happy, and to feel good about them. If
you were to marry with their approval, and they were part of it, then perhaps
they could let you go and be satisfied, their job as parents done. This is the
way it is in my Mode."
"But
all they ever had was the shell of a marriage. We all faked it, so the
neighbors wouldn't know."
"Perhaps
their desire for the reality was greater, then. They knew that they had
nothing, but through you they could have something."
Colene
considered it more seriously. "Our family was nothing, until I left. Then
when I came back, with Provos, I found my mom and dad had almost made it real.
She had
234 CHAOS MODE
stopped
drinking and he had stopped with his mistress. I thought it was weird, that
they became the family I wanted only when I was gone. Like maybe they did it
only to spite me. But then they tried to keep me here. I thought that was the
ultimate betrayal, and I hated them for that. But now I wonder."
"They
do love you, Colene. They just are not very good at it."
"And
you think that if I played along, doing something really family, like growing
up and getting married, they'd let me go?"
"I
think you should ask them."
"You
know, by the standards of my culture, a married woman is Old Enough. So Darius
couldn't say—" Then she crumpled again. "But I can't marry him.
Because his culture says he has to draw joy from his wife, to multiply, and I'm
just not any vessel of joy."
"His
culture does differ, yes. But you would not be married by the conventions of
his culture. Only by yours. So here you would be his wife; there you would be
his mistress. In either case, you would be his love. Isn't that what you
want?"
"Oh,
yes\" Colene grabbed Nona and kissed her. "You have solved my
problem, just the way I solved yours."
Embarrassed,
Nona changed the subject. "But first we must save Burgess."
"For
sure! And now we have the money." Colene got up and took the paper oblongs
from the table.
They
went upstairs to Colene's bedroom, where clothing of her Mode's type was hung
in a closet. "You'll have to change, too," Colene said. 'That red
tunic's no good, here. But I don't think any of my stuff'll fit you."
"I
can enlarge it," Nona reminded her.
"Say,
yeah! I keep forgetting that you're magical." She picked out a red dress.
"You should like this. It's not the color, it's the style. Make this fit
you, and some matching shoes, and you'll be a knockout Earthgirl."
Nona
made the necessary adjustments and donned the dress and shoes, while Colene put
on a blue dress. This
EARTH 235
startled
Nona, because blue was the masculine color on her world, but she reminded
herself that she wasn't on her world now. Then they arranged their hair in an
appropriate way, took up purses—Nona simply duplicated Colene's, in red—and
went back outside and to the tent.
Darius
stared at them. "You are two lovely but strange maidens," he remarked.
"Colene I have seen in this manner before, but Nona seems to be a
different woman."
"We
must go to seek help for Burgess," Nona said.
"Seqiro,
if anybody pokes around here, you make them go away," Colene said.
"Don't make them scared, just make them lose interest. You can do that,
right? We'll be back in a couple of hours."
Nona
nudged Colene. "Shouldn't you tell Darius? I suspect Seqiro did not relay
the news."
Colene
was startled. "Right." She turned to Darius. "Oh, just so you
know, manface: we're getting married."
Darius'
jaw dropped, to Colene's evident satisfaction. "Tell him, Seqiro,"
she said, and turned to Burgess. "Burg, we're going to get help for you.
So hang on, okay? We aren't going to let you die."
Then
Colene and Nona walked back into the house, where Colene used a magic device
she called a phone to telepath a message to a central stable where they had
many vehicles. A faint voice agreed to send a cab. They went out the front of
the house, and to the street. In a while the vehicle arrived: one of those
horrifying self-propelled machines they had seen zooming past at breakneck
velocity on adjacent Modes.
"Don't
worry," Colene reassured her. "I know what I'm doing, in my home
Mode. This is no more chancy than riding in the hand of a giant, in your
Mode."
Nona
hoped so.
They
got into the vehicle, which turned out to be like an enclosed wagon, with
comfortable couches inside. "Put on your seat belt," Colene said, and
showed her how to strap herself down. Yet there seemed to be no danger of
flying out, as the vehicle was entirely closed in.
There
was a man in the front of the vehicle, who
236 CHAOS MODE
seemed
to be directing its motion. He did things with his hands and feet, and the
vehicle lurched into motion. Nona, seeing Colene unconcerned, forced herself to
relax.
The cab
zoomed down the street at a horrifying velocity, then abruptly slowed. Only the
seat belt prevented Nona from falling off the couch. Now she knew what it was
for.
The
ride continued, constantly speeding up and screeching to a stop. Now there were
other vehicles around them, moving in similar patterns. They were like horses
in a chute, racing against each other, shoving each other aside, and squealing
in challenge and protest all the while. The vehicles had funny honking voices,
as well as their squeals in their wheels as they turned corners.
They
stopped one more time, and Colene gave the man some of her paper money. Then
they got out. They were now in another part of the town. "This is the high
school," Colene explained. Her meaning was not as clear as before, because
now she was using her own telepathy instead of that of the horse. Nona
suspected that Seqiro's mind could reach this far, but that Colene had told him
not to bother; she wanted to make it on her own. And of course she knew the
local language and customs, so Nona was the only person who needed the
translation.
"Now
we need a little illusion," Colene said. "I don't want anyone to
recognize me, until I find Amos, and they had better not get a good look at
you. Can you sort of fuzz my face, and make yourself look, well, less
developed?"
Nona
used illusion to accomplish these things, and they went on into the nearest
building. This was crowded with young folk, both male and female, carrying
books. They wore every type of garb except tunics. They all seemed to be in a
horrible hurry. Then they squeezed into chambers to the side of the main hall,
and a loud clangor sounded, making Nona jump.
"School
bell," Colene explained. "Ignore it; we're not going to class. I
think Amos has a free period now, if his schedule hasn't changed. He's the only
one we need here."
They
went to another chamber, where a man sat behind a desk piled with papers. They
approached the desk.
EARTH 237
He
looked up. "What class are you looking for, girls?"
"No
class," Colene replied. "I need your help, Amos."
He
removed his glasses and gazed directly at her. "Your voice is familiar,
but not your face. Are you a new student?"
"Oh.
Nona, drop the illusion."
Nona
did so. Then the man broke into a smile. "Colene! Where have you
been?"
"You
wouldn't believe it, Amos. This is Nona."
He
gazed at Nona, and pursed his lips appreciatively. "I am sure you are not
a student here, Nona."
"Amos,
I said you wouldn't believe me," Colene said. "But you're going to
have to. So we're going to have to give you a crash course in believing,
because we may not have much time."
Amos
looked at his watch, which resembled the one Colene wore. "About twenty
minutes, before my next class. Will that be enough?"
"Maybe.
First, I've been to some really weird places. I—I think it will be better if
you don't tell. Can I swear you to secrecy?"
"Colene,
if you have been involved in something illegal—"
"No,
nothing like that! But if folk knew—well, do you believe in magic?"
"No."
"Nona,
here, is magic. If 1 prove it, will you agree to keep our confidence."
Amos
smiled indulgently. "Yes."
Colene
turned to Nona. "Do some magic."
Nona
made herself light and floated. Amos, skeptical, got out from behind his desk
and came around to her. He passed a hand over her head, then got down and
passed it beneath her feet. Then he made a hoop of his arms and passed that
hoop down around her body. There was of course nothing; she was floating
magically.
"Impressive,"
he said, unconvinced. "What else can you do?"
Nona
settled back to the floor and formed an illusion of
238 CHAOS MODE
nothingness.
Startled, Amos passed his hand through the space at chest height—and collided
with her torso. He brought his other hand around, feeling her arms and
shoulders and finally her head. "Amazing," he murmured.
Nona
dispelled the illusion. Amos, finding himself almost embracing her, stepped back.
She picked a glass paperweight from his desk and transformed it into a red
rose. She proffered him the flower.
He took
it and smelled it. "Can you change it back—in my hand?"
Nona
touched the flower, and it became the paperweight again.
"I
even felt the mass change," he said, amazed. "Anything else?"
Nona
levitated the paperweight. Amos felt it tug in his hand, and let it go. It
sailed up and circled the room before returning to its original spot on the
desk.
"You
are good," he said. "Extremely good. But a professional stage
magician could duplicate these feats. What can you do that such a person could
not do?"
"Do
you have an animal?" Nona asked.
"You
are not speaking my language, are you," he said.
"Right,"
Colene answered. "She's not. She's from another universe."
"Then
how do I understand her?"
"I
am telepathically translating for you."
He
pursed his lips again. "What does Nona intend to do with an animal?"
"She
will make it be a familiar. Then she can control it. But this takes a little
while."
"And
you are magic too, Colene? You can read minds?"
"I'm
learning. I'm not really good at it, yet, but I'm better than I was. I can
translate for Nona because I know her well, and I know you. It's really a
matter of putting her thoughts into your mind, and vice versa."
'Tell
me what I am thinking of at this moment."
"A
yellow polka-dot bikini—on Nona." Nona was not sure of the significance,
but gathered that he had thought of an item of apparel.
EARTH 239
He
looked startled, again, but he recovered. "And what now?"
"A
black spider climbing a curtain. It's got a green eternity symbol on its
back."
"You
are reading my mind!" he exclaimed.
"You
made the pictures very clear," Colene agreed, pleased. "You set them
up for me."
"What
am I thinking of now?"
Colene
shook her head. "I can't get it. It's just sort of a swirling blackness
with pink streaks through it."
"You
did get it," he said. "Very well, Colene, you have impressed me. I
will keep your confidence. What is it you want of me?"
"We
have a sick creature from a Cambrian world. You have to find out what's wrong,
and try to help him."
"Do
you mean Cambrian as in the Burgess Shale?"
"Right.
Only stranger. Can you come to my house after school?"
He
looked hard at her. "You really are serious, Colene? This is not an
elaborate prank?"
"Deadly
serious, Amos. We're afraid Burgess will die, and he's our friend. You're the
only one I can think of who might be able to figure out what's making him
sick."
"I
will come with you now," Amos said. "Just let me check out."
"Oh,
thank you, Amos!" Colene said. "It means so much to me."
They
went with Amos to another room, where he told a woman at a desk, something
about canceling a class because of an emergency. Then they followed him to the
school faculty parking lot and got into his personal vehicle. Under his
guidance, it moved, following the road, with considerably greater docility than
the other one.
"Amos,
I can't tell you how I appreciate this," Colene said. "What can I do
for you in return?"
He
laughed. "Colene, you know better than that! I never accept anything from
a student except her homework."
"And
you know me better, too, Amos," she said evenly. "I never made the wrong
kind of offer. But if you can save
240 CHAOS MODE
Burgess,
I'll owe you the equivalent of a life. We won't be here on Earth long; what can
I give back that's worth a life?"
"There
is a life I would like to recover," he said. "But not even magic can
do that. So forget it, Colene; you have intrigued me, and I would like to help
you if I can. No other deal is required."
Colene
did not pursue the matter, but Nona knew she was not dismissing it. She was
reading his mind to fathom the nature of his concern. The odd concept Sin Eater
appeared. Nona also found that she liked this teacher; he was intelligent and
principled.
Nona
nudged Colene. "You must warn him about Darius, and Seqiro."
"For
sure!" Colene agreed. "As if I could forget them." She turned to
the man. "Some other things you need to know. All part of the
confidence."
Amos
raised an eyebrow. "Stranger than what you have shown me so far?"
"Equivalently
strange. One is Darius. He's my man. Don't laugh; I mean to marry him. Now."
"Not in this state," Amos said. "I'm fourteen. There are states
where—" "Yes, Texas is one. With parental permission."
"I'll get it. Anyway, Darius is a regular man, but he comes from a magic
world, and he doesn't speak our language any more than Nona does. So if he
tells you he can conjure himself and others to other places, or multiply joy,
believe it. He can, where he lives. He's not crazy." "Any more than
Nona is," Amos agreed. "You would probably think me so, if I told you
more about my Julia Mode," Nona said, laughing. "Julia? As in Julia
sets?"
"Colene
calls it the Mandelbrot set. It is the pattern of my reality."
"Right,"
Colene said. "And Seqiro—he's a telepathic horse."
He
looked at Colene. "You are asking me to take a lot on faith."
EARTH 241
"It's
an overload, all at once," Colene agreed. "Just take it as it comes,
Amos, and worry about faith later. Burgess is the one who counts, right now,
and he's so strange he'll freak you out at first, but he's my friend."
Amos
shook his head. "You always were a remarkable girl, Colene. I'm still
sorry I ever agreed to keep your first confidence, months ago. I fear I will
regret this one more."
"Well,
after we go, I guess you can say what you want. But I think folk will think you're
crazy."
"I
wonder about that myself, at the moment."
They
arrived at her house. The tent was visible in back, looking makeshift, as if
children had assembled it. It was a giveaway that something was going on, but
maybe the neighbors wouldn't pry. As long as Seqiro touched their minds and
discouraged them.
They
walked to the tent. Seqiro's mind reached out, and immediately understood that
Amos was to be accepted. Hello, Amos. I am Seqiro.
"You
are a horse?" Amos inquired wryly.
The
horse stepped out of the tent. / am.
Darius
followed. "I am Darius."
Amos
nodded. "Hello, Seqiro and Darius. I am Amos Forell, Colene's science
teacher. I hope I can help."
You are
in doubt about our validity. I will reassure you.
"I
find myself strangely reassured," Amos admitted.
Colene
opened the flap for Amos. "Now, remember—"
But
Nona had seen something. "Colene! A vehicle is stopping by the
house!"
Colene
looked. "Damn! That's Dad's car! He's home. I can't tend to him right now
while—"
The
girl was beginning to panic; the turmoil of her mind was coming through.
"Yes you can," Nona said quickly. "Darius and Seqiro can
introduce Amos to Burgess, while you and I go to see your father." She
took Colene by the elbow and drew her away.
"Amos,
let me explain about Burgess," Darius said behind them. "He derives
from a Mode Colene calls the Cambrian, but I think that was a long time ago. He
does not speak or think in the same manner we do."
242 CHAOS MODE
Their
voices faded out as the two women walked toward the vehicle. But Seqiro's
ambience remained; he was merely letting Nona and Colene have a separate
dialogue with Colene's father. Nona knew she would have no trouble
understanding what the man said.
The man
had climbed out of his vehicle, which was now beside Amos' vehicle. He was
staring at them.
"Oh,
God, I can't do it," Colene muttered. 'This is going to totally freak him
out, and I don't want that."
"I
will try," Nona said. "If you introduce me."
They
came to stand before the man. "Hi, Dad," Colene said tightly. She
spoke in her own language, and Nona did understand, as she had expected to.
"Hi,
Colene," he said, just as tightly. Nona realized that Seqiro was reaching
to the man's mind, helping him to accept the situation.
'This
is my friend Nona."
"What
happened to your friend Provos?"
Colene
turned away. "I just can't make small talk," she said, her mind
clouding up with mixed emotions. There was love there, and fear, and anger, and
hope. This man had always treated her well, but he had betrayed her by trying
to trap her here.
"Hello,"
Nona said. "I will try to explain."
The man
nodded. Seqiro was providing him greater understanding, now, or at least a
willingness to listen to what Nona would say. "Let's go inside."
They
trekked into the house and took seats in the living room. "I do not know
how much you know," Nona said. "I think you would find the whole
truth to be too strange to believe. Perhaps it is enough to say that Colene has
had a most strange adventure, and now requires your help."
"We
just want her back," he said. "She can have anything she wants."
"First
she needs your belief and trust. She is your daughter, and she loves you, but
has become estranged. Did you know she is suicidal?"
He
stared at her. "No. But I suppose I can't blame her. Her mother and I—we
had concerns of our own, and it
EARTH 243
wasn't
until Colene left us that we realized how badly we had let her down. We—we
thought she had retreated into some kind of fantasy world, insanity, and we
were horrified."
"It
was not fantasy," Nona assured him. "She found a way to travel to
places almost unbelievably strange." She did not want to mention magic,
fearing that he would never accept the notion. She had seen how difficult it
had been for Amos to accept it, and indeed Amos still thought it was some kind
of clever act or ruse. But the concept of travel into other realities was
necessary, if he were ever to accept Colene's relation with Darius.
"We
saw her vanish into the air," he agreed. "Then we knew that she
wasn't just imagining what we had taken to be nonsense about some kind of
Virtual Mode and strange places beyond it. We realized that she was into
something strange beyond our belief. But it was too late. We had betrayed her,
-and we feared she would never return. We could only hope she would. We thought
we were doing what was right, but then we knew we weren't. We swore to God that
if she ever did return after that, it would be different, and we would never
betray her again. Now—"
"Now
she has returned, but only for a visit," Nona said. "As she did
before. She—she feels that you did not treat her fairly, before, but if you are
willing to help her this time, there will be no further problem between
you."
He
nodded. "I know I speak for her mother as well as myself. We would do
anything to make it right with Colene. We've never been much of a family, but
she's the most important thing in it, and we—" He stalled out, and tried
again. "We—we love her, and—" He mopped his face. "Oh, damn it,
Colene, we're so ashamed and sorry!"
He is
sincere.
Colene
got up and flung her arms around her father. "Oh, Dad!"
Then
they were both crying. Nona got up and walked away, knowing that she was no
longer needed here.
Outside,
in the tent, Amos was kneeling beside Burgess, his hands on contact points.
244 CHAOS MODE
"Amos
is achieving some rapport," Darius explained to Nona. "But Burgess
can't tell him what is wrong, because he does not know."
Amos
looked up, seeing her. "His world is like this one? Like Earth?"
"Yes,"
she said. "Except that my magic was far more limited there."
"And
it was on the Virtual Mode that he became ill?"
"Yes,
though not immediately."
"I
think I need to know more about the Virtual Mode. Will you take me there?"
"I
could, but it would be dangerous for you, because you are not an anchor person.
Also, Seqiro would have to come too, because you and I could not understand
each other without the telepathy."
/ can
reach across Modes, Seqiro thought.
So he
could; he had been doing so as they traveled the Virtual Mode, because their
party had often stretched across three or four Modes. "In that case, I can
show you. But it will not seem much different, across just a few Modes."
Amos
got back to his feet. "Take me, then. I don't know what I'll find, but
since I'm at a loss here, it's worth the try."
"You
must take my hand," she said. "And do not let go, because you could
be stranded in a foreign Mode. You can cross only when in contact with one of
the anchor people."
He took
her hand. "Have no fear. I have no designs on you. I only want to learn
what I can of this situation."
True.
She
walked him to the anchor at the end of the tent. As they stepped through it,
the tent disappeared. They stood in a similar yard, near a similar house. But
its color was different, and there were no vehicles beside it.
'That
is some effect!" he remarked, impressed. "This is another
world?"
"Another
Mode, yes. An alternate reality. There are boundaries every ten of your feet,
and each crossing is
EARTH 245
similar.
Each Mode is different, but usually similar to the ones closest to it."
"And
I can't cross by myself?"
"No.
Please do not seek to experiment. If I lost you, you would never get
back."
"How
could you lose me?"
Nona
showed him the stone trick, having him pick up the stone and hold it in his
free hand while they stepped across Modes. The stone disappeared, and was there
on the ground when they returned. "If we walked across, without touching,
I would enter the next Mode," she said, "while you would continue in
this one. If you then fell in a hole and were not visible from where I stood, I
could not see you, and certainly I could not reach you. If you were sleeping
just beyond the boundary, I could see you but not reach you, because I am in
the Virtual Mode, which contains only ten-feet depth of any normal Mode. It is
wider to the sides, but still, it is a chance not worth taking."
"I
appreciate that," he said. "What about food? If you eat on one
Mode—?"
"We
must wait to digest it, or we will lose it. Water, too. Even the air we
breathe, I understand."
"The
air!" he exclaimed.
"Yes.
It, too, is substance. But our bodies incorporate it very rapidly, so we do not
suffocate. Otherwise it would be almost impossible to traverse the Virtual
Mode."
"That
may be the key!" he said, "The air. Burgess breathes it too."
"Yes.
More than we do, because he floats. He—" She paused, realizing the
significance. "He is absorbing the air of the Virtual Mode! And it is not
the same as that of an anchor Mode. His substance is being replaced by Virtual
substance, faster than ours."
"My
thoughts exactly. We don't think of air as nourishment, but it is, and most
important. Our lungs—and surely his gills—are extremely responsive to things in
the air. A number of drugs are administered by inhalation. Suppose there is
some trace substance in the air of the Virtual Mode that is poisoning Burgess?"
246 CHAOS MODE
"But
the Virtual Mode is merely a path across ordinary Modes," she protested.
"There would be nothing there that the others do not have."
"Then
the reverse case. Some substance that isn't there. Or is there, but isn't
retained, because it takes the body longer to absorb it, and it is lost as you
cross the next boundary. Burgess could be suffering from a trace deficiency.
There are any number of trace elements our systems need, but we normally get
them in our food and water. If he normally picks up some of those from the air,
the deficiency might not show up right away, but in time it would manifest.
Then he would gradually fail—exactly as he did."
Nona
was amazed at the simplicity of it. "But why has he not gotten better, in
the Earth Mode?"
"He
may be getting better. But it took time to develop the deficiency, and it will
take time to eliminate it. Especially since he is not processing air at his
normal rate, now, because of fatigue. Assuming that our air has it in a similar
ratio to the air of his world of origin, which may be an unsafe assumption. We
shall have to find a way to replace it faster. If only we knew what it
is!"
Nona
was thrilled that a likely answer had come, but also had doubts. "If there
is something, and we make him better—will he not lose it again when he
re-enters the Virtual Mode? We do not want to make him ill again."
"Yes,
that is a likely problem. I shall try to find something to replace what he is
losing. Then he could take a supply along with him, and not suffer. If only I
knew what it might be! Burgess is the most fascinating creature I have
encountered, and I have no hope of comprehending more than a tiny fraction of
his wonders. A genuine triramous creature, of a completely alien phylum! My ignorance
is colossal, and that is the root of the problem."
Nona
discovered that she liked this man. But she did not wish to complicate his
life, so she kissed him once, quickly, and led him back through the anchor to
the Earth Mode.
EARTH 247
"We
may have the answer, or part of it," she told Darius happily.
"I
heard," he said. "It makes sense to me."
"I
must go home now," Amos said. "But I will try to research the matter
of potential airborne nutrients. Meanwhile, Burgess should slowly improve, just
being here in one place. Take care of him, and give him comfort. I'll return
tomorrow, hoping for progress." He turned to Nona. "Thank you for
showing me the Virtual Mode. It is part of an experience I shall treasure for
the rest of my life, even if I don't dare mention it." He paused, smiling.
"There are ways in which you remind me of Colene, Nona."
Nona
felt herself flushing with pleasure, though she wasn't quite sure why.
Amos
returned to his vehicle—she realized now that it was called a
"car"—and drove away. As they watched the car depart, a sudden strong
thought came. Marriage!
Nona
exchanged a smile with Darius. Colene had evidently broached the key subject.
In a
little while Colene and her father appeared at the back door of the house. She
looked radiant. "I have permission," she said simply. "My folks
will take care of it." Then, almost as an afterthought: "Dad, this is
Darius."
The two
men performed the Earth ritual of shaking hands.
"Look,
there'll have to be a license, and a blood test, and we'll have to make
arrangements in Wichita Falls, in Texas," the man said. "It will take
a couple of days if we're lucky. No problem. Anything to make my little girl
happy." He eyed Darius. "Colene tells me that you two have been together
constantly, but you never—"
"Daddy!"
Darius
nodded. "She was too young. But if this makes her old enough, by the
standard of her culture—"
"It
will." He shook his head. "We never thought—but it will, and I
suppose that's best. Colene always was a good judge of people, and if she loves
you—"
"I
do," Colene said.
248 CHAOS MODE
"We
can make space in the house, so you won't have to camp out—"
"No,
they like it out here," Colene said quickly. It was apparent that she had
not told her father about Seqiro or Burgess. "Well, maybe Nona could come
in."
"Of
course," he agreed. "We have a rollaway couch-bed we can make up.
Come on in, Nona."
Nona
took advantage of the moment to relay her news, silently. Amos may have found
out what is wrong with Burgess. A trace substance in the air, because we cross
the Modes too quickly for him to absorb it. He is seeking a replacement.
Colene's
radiance intensified. She was far from depressed now! That's the greatest news!
I knew Amos could do it.
They
started in. Then Colene paused. "Something else, Darius." She shut
her mouth, and thought the rest for them only. Amos is doing us a great favor.
He doesn 't want any return favor, but I want to give him one. We need to find
out about the Sin Eater. I think I'll be busy, but Darius, if you can—
I will
try. Where is my source of information?
Amos.
They
went on in, leaving Darius to ponder. "Colene, 1 need to warn you, this is
going to come as a shock to your mother," her father said.
"Is
she drinking?"
Nona
understood from the thought that the question was whether her mother was
consuming alcoholic beverages. There were some on Oria who did that to excess,
and it was not a good thing.
"No.
She's in a program, and she's been straight. She prays daily for your return.
She's the one who set up the note on the table."
"That
helped," Colene said. "I had business to do in town. I think Mom will
accept me getting married, if you do."
"If
she knows you truly want it," He hesitated, then
EARTH 249
broached
another subject. "The people you were with, last time—"
"Slick
and Esta."
"After
the way all of you disappeared, there was publicity. The—the vanishing was
dismissed as someone's invention; they assumed that all of you had managed to
sneak out of town. The police grilled us, but couldn't prove anything. It
turned out that the man was a gangster, and the girl had been severely abused;
her stepfather's awaiting trial now. It seemed that the gangster was the child's
uncle; he kidnapped her to save her from further molestation. He had a record a
mile long, everything except molestation. They concluded that it was the single
good thing he did in his life, an act of atonement. You knew that, didn't
you?"
"I
knew it," Colene agreed. "I set it up. They're happy now. He's out of
the crime business, and she's got nothing but happiness ahead of her."
He
hesitated again. "In the course of the investigation, some other things
came out. The police—we—I don't like to say this—"
But
Seqiro was making his thought plain to them. "They found out about the
rape," Colene said.
"It
was just a rumor," he said quickly. "We said it couldn't be true. You
would never—"
"It
happened," Colene said evenly. "That's why I had to get away."
"There
was no proof. They couldn't even identify the perpetrators. No one would talk.
Just this ugly rumor, how four high school boys tricked this thirteen-year-old
girl into coming to an apartment, and plied her with liquor, getting her so drunk
she didn't even resist. You read about that sort of thing all the time, but
never believe it could happen to your own daughter. You—you never said
anything."
"There
didn't seem to be any point. What would you have done if I had told?"
"I'll
do it now," he said, turning grim. "Give me their names."
250 CHAOS MODE
"Dad,
why should you care about any of that? You've had a mistress for years!"
He
swallowed. "It is true. It is not easy to be the spouse of an alcoholic,
and I needed something to compensate. But I never raped anyone. Like your
gangster friend, I am clean in this respect. I abused you only by my absence,
and my ignorance, and I want to correct that now. Give me their names."
The
names of two passed through Colene's mind, so strongly that Nona heard them.
But she set her little jaw. "It wouldn't do any good. I won't be here to
prosecute, and anyway they always treat the girl as if she's the criminal. It
would just drag me and you and Mom down into the gutter, and those freaks would
get off anyway. The judge always believes the liars. I just want to forget
about it. I've found a good man now, and good friends, and if that's partly
because of the spin that gang rape sent me into, then maybe it was a favor in
the long term. Understand, I'd like nothing better than to see those freaks get
theirs, but this isn't the way."
"You
want marriage instead of revenge," he said.
"I
want marriage," she agreed. "And Mom—if she's straight, now, I don't
want to hurt her. So if we maybe could just forget this—"
"If
that is the way you want it, it is forgotten," he said grimly. He glanced
at Nona. "Your friend won't speak of it?"
"I
will not speak of it," Nona said, though she, too, was sorry that the
rapists would not be punished. She herself had almost been raped at one of the
alternate worlds in Julia, and she hadn't liked the notion a bit. But she was
aware that Colene, though still deeply angry about the rape, was being
practical; she wanted to marry Darius, and knew mat something like this could
interfere with that by diverting the attention of her parents at this critical
time. Colene knew what she wanted, and was choosing her course to achieve it,
realistically. Colene was a tough girl.
No, not
tough. I just don't want to lose sight of what I truly want, and maybe lose it.
EARTH 25!
Colene's
father chose another subject. "Now the marriage. I will arrange it. You
and your man will have to come in for the blood tests tomorrow; I can get the
doctor to cooperate. But Darius will have to show identification to get the
license."
"Uh-oh,"
Colene said. "He's from another world." "Seqiro may be able to
handle that," Nona said. "By changing a mind."
"Say,
yeah!" Colene refocused on her father. "We'll have Darius ride to the
license office on a horse. There'll be no trouble; they'll accept his ID."
"On
a horse!" The man smiled. "And will the horse attend the wedding,
too?"
Colene
had to smile. "I think not. Wichita Falls is too far for him to trot, and
I need him here. Darius and I will just drive down to the civil ceremony with
you, and come back here right after."
"Civil
ceremony? Your mother will—" He broke off. "There she is now. Perhaps
I should handle this. There may be some emotion."
"You
do that, Dad." Colene smiled. "Nona and I will just stay here and nod
our heads."
Nona
braced for the emotional scene to follow. She was not disappointed.
^CHAPTER
12
SIN
EATER
r\ARIUS
woke and stretched. Burgess is un-changed, the thought came. Seqiro was not in
the tent; he was grazing the lawn. He could do this without attracting
attention because he simply diverted the interest of any who might notice him.
He was good at controlling the minds of human people, especially those who had
no resistance to it. He had surveyed the neighborhood, and had no problem with
the residents.
"I
must learn resistance," Darius said. "No affront to you, Seqiro, but
if we should have to stop at your Mode, we human folk would be patsies for any
of the telepathic horses there, and I doubt you could save us. I understand
from Colene's memories that there are other Modes near yours where other
animals have telepathy, and that could be trouble too. So we all should learn
resistance, if it is possible."
Your
human mind has reasoned it out as mine could not. I will try to teach you
resistance. It will not be easy, because we have much experience in controlling
humans. I have refrained from doing it when you do not wish it.
"And
we appreciate that, Seqiro. But now we should learn how to protect our minds.
This is a good time to do it, when we are more or less idle."
SIN
EATER 253
We
normally exert full control, so that our servants never realize that any
resistance is possible. I will try to exert partial control over you. When you
are able to resist that, I will intensify it. It is possible to learn
resistance, though we normally seek to conceal that information.
"Let's
choose an action for me to resist, that won't interfere with anything
else."
/ will
make you bite your thumb. This is a punishment we use on occasion, its severity
depending on the offense.
"That
certainly is not something I would do on my own," Darius agreed.
/ will
not make you do it hard. When your teeth touch the skin, you will know that you
have lost.
"Agreed.
Start it slow, and we shall ascertain where my threshold of resistance
starts." As he spoke, he got up, and was getting dressed in the odd
clothing Colene had decreed he wear for this day.
Darius
felt himself touched, mentally. In a moment his left hand was at his face.
Realizing that this was not his own action, he tensed his muscles and drove his
hand away. It retreated from his face, but then returned. Again he drove it
away, but his arm only quivered, and then his thumb came to his mouth and his
teeth touched the flesh.
Suddenly
his hand was flung away. Seqiro had let go, so that his failing effort to
resist became a violent motion. But Darius had lost. He was shaking with the
effort he had made. "How much of your power was that?"
Perhaps
a quarter. You fought well.
"Not
nearly well enough! I just couldn't seem to get a leverage on my arm."
Remind
yourself that your arm is your own, and must ultimately obey you. Shut out any
intrusion.
"I
will try." Darius focused on his left arm, trying to will it to obey no
one except him.
But his
hand came steadily toward his face, and in a moment his teeth touched his thumb
again.
"That
was faster than before! I'm losing my resistance."
No. I
used greater power to overcome you, now that I know your level of resistance.
254 CHAOS MODE
"So
I was doing better instead of worse!"
Yes. In
my Mode we would see that you never understood that, and we would dispatch you
before you realized that resistance was possible.
They
continued the exercise while Darius ate. Burgess, meanwhile, neither gained nor
lost ground; he was in what for a human person would have been something like a
coma.
Then
Amos arrived in his vehicle-car. Seqiro was aware of him long before he was
close; the horse's range did not seem to be limited in this Mode. He brings
containers of nourishment, but does not know whether any will be effective.
"Seek
his information on the Sin Eater. I will need it later."
Amos
walked directly to the tent. "I have to go teach school today, but I
brought some multi-vitamin and mineral supplements of several brands and
types." He paused, looking around. "Can you prevent the neighbors
from noticing me, Seqiro? I don't think it would be wise to be seen coming and
going from a young student's house."
They
will not notice you.
"Thank
you." Amos had adapted to the horse's telepathy quickly, because he
believed what was in his own mind, and when Seqiro spoke to someone directly,
it was in the mind. He went into the tent and squatted beside Burgess.
"But there is a problem. These pills have many things, and most will
probably be irrelevant. Some may be what we need. But some may be poisonous for
Burgess. It's a calculated risk, and I don't know how extreme it is."
Poisonous!
Colene's thought came from the house. Hold the phone while I get down there.
Amos
smiled, wryly. "That is one charming little girl."
"So
I have noticed. If only she were a vessel of joy, so that I could marry her in
my own culture as well as hers."
"You
can't many her in yours? Why not?"
"I
am Cyng of Hlahtar. I must draw joy from my wife, and give it to all the
others. Colene—"
"Is
depressive. But couldn't she learn joy?"
SIN
EATER 255
"How
does one learn joy?"
"How
does one learn to resist telepathic control? Yes, Seqiro let me feel you
practicing. How does Colene learn telepathy? No person in our Mode has done
that before, as far as I know, though some have made claims."
Darius
was surprised. "She is learning telepathy! That is akin to the drawing of
joy, in a fashion. If she could learn joy, I could many her."
"I
heard that," Colene said, entering the tent. "Oh, Darius, I'll learn
it if I can! But right now we have other business. What's this about poison?"
Amos
opened a bag. "All I could think of was to try multi-vitamin,
multi-mineral pills. We don't know what Burgess needs, but there's a fair
chance it's here. He may have been picking up trace minerals from the dust in
the air. So if he takes one of these, it may be all he needs. But if it gives
him a dose of what he doesn't need, it could poison him. Just as an overdose of
arsenic would poison us. In fact, an overdose of a needed nutrient could poison
him, as it is with salt with us. I don't know how to analyze his need, here in
the field. It might be possible in a laboratory, but that would have other
risks."
"Such
as becoming a freak at a freak show," Colene agreed. "That's out. Can
we try a little bit of something first?"
"Yes,
but that will take more time. How much time do you have?"
"I'd
like to be gone from here in a couple more days. But if Burgess needs longer,
we'll just have to stay longer."
"I
suggest you have him try a bit of powder from one pill, and wait an hour, then
try some from another. In the course of the day you can sample a dozen pills.
But it's roulette. If one of them helps, you win; if one of them kills him, you
lose. Are you sure it wouldn't be better to let him remain here for longer,
perhaps several months, so he can recover slowly?"
"If
he does recover," Colene said. "The way he's going, he could pass the
point of no-return first. And what's to
256 CHAOS MODE
stop
him from reverting when he goes back on the Virtual Mode? No, we need a
cure."
Amos
handed her the bag. "It is not a risk I care to take. Burgess is the most
remarkable creature I've encountered. I have acquainted you with the
risk."
"Yeah,
I'm the one who's suicidal," she agreed, with a self-depreciating little
smile that made Darius want to hug her. Once more he realized that the very
thing that made her unsuitable to be the wife of the Cyng of Hlahtar was one of
her most appealing qualities. That semi-bitter edge, that laughed at death even
as it flirted with it.
Colene
handed the bag to Nona. "Darius and Seqiro and I have to go for blood
tests and a license. That leaves it up to you. Try him on the tiniest bit you
can, and see if he reacts. We're just going to have to hope we win before we
lose."
Darius
let it be. Colene had made the decision, and it was probably the sensible one.
Amos returned to his car, while Darius went to the house with Colene. Seqiro
went to the front of the house and waited.
Colene's
mother was inside. She had had a considerable adjustment of information and
attitude during the evening and night, but now was stable. It was clear that
she intended to do right by Colene, and could now be trusted.
Colene
brought out a map. 'This is us," she said, pointing to a spot on it.
"This is the doctor's office. This is City Hall. We need to go to the one,
and then the other. I think you'd better ride Seqiro, so that others think
you're a man and a horse." She flashed him a winning smile, again making
him want to embrace her. As she was probably aware. "And nothing more.
Tomorrow we'll drive down to Texas and get married."
"We
can fit him in the car," Colene's father said. "He doesn't need to
ride the horse."
"And
leave the horse in our yard?" Colene asked.
"Well—"
The man's brow furrowed. "Where did that horse come from anyway? I thought
it was just you and Darius and Nona."
"Seqiro
is a very special horse," she answered, sliding
SIN
EATER 257
by his
question as Seqiro adjusted his mind so that he no longer thought it remarkable
that a horse should have appeared on the scene. The neighbors had already been
given the impression that the tent had been in the yard for some time, and was
not at all remarkable or interesting.
They
went outside. Colene had projected the image of the route in the map to Seqiro,
so that he would know the way. Then she got into the car with her parents.
"We'll wait for you," she said.
"I
don't like this any better than you do," Darius told Seqiro as he climbed
up on the wadded blankets Nona had fashioned in lieu of a saddle. They had
removed the regular harness with the supplies, so that the horse was
unencumbered. "I know you are not a servant beast, and I am not a
practiced rider."
You are
lighter than my normal burden. It will be easier for me to divert attention if
we look normal by this culture's standards.
That
was one of the things about Seqiro: he never stood on false pride. He simply
did what was necessary.
Because
it is your way. Were you to become angry, I would share that emotion. My
attitude is defined by that of the human I am with, as is my intelligence.
They
started out. Because the horse was in tune with Darius' mind, there was no
problem about riding; Seqiro compensated for any imbalance in his posture
automatically, and did not surprise him with any motion. Because Seqiro was a
large horse, and in good health, he moved along at a good rate though merely
walking. Cars passed them on the road, avoiding them. They had no fear of a
collision, because Seqiro tracked the minds of the drivers, making sure.
"Did
you get the information on the Sin Eater?" Darius asked.
Seqiro
filled him in on it. There had been a rape a month ago. The rapist had not been
caught, but an anonymous tip had charged a fifteen-year-old boy called Raphael.
The police had picked him up, but let him go for lack of proof. Since then,
Raphael, once nicknamed Raff, had
258 CHAOS MODE
been
renicknamed "Rape." The neighborhood had condemned him. He had not
been punished by the law, so the community was punishing him instead.
Amos
had taught Raff in a remedial class, so knew him. The boy was slow, with just
enough intelligence to get by on a minimal basis, but not mean. He had low
self-esteem, and was generally the object of cruel teasing. He was no rapist.
When the charge was made, Amos had taken the trouble to verify the police
report: Raff had been released uncharged because tissue typing had shown he
could not have been the rapist. He had merely had the bad fortune to live in
the neighborhood where the rape had occurred.
But
somehow the police report had not been publicized, so there had been no direct
refutation of the charge. That was the start of the trouble. News of the charge
had spread rapidly, but not news of the exoneration. So Raff remained guilty,
in the eyes of the neighbors. That guilt was destroying him. Other youths were
not supposed to play with him, and no girl was allowed near him. He got spat on
when he walked the halls of school, and was regularly beaten up by other
youths. When anything went wrong. Raff was blamed. It was a joke, for some of
the things were impossible, but there was a large, hard core of belief that he
was guilty of anything they thought he might be guilty of.
Amos
had tried to tell people that Raff was innocent, but they had brushed him off.
They knew he was guilty.
In
Amos' mind there were three reasons for this. Two of them were simple: Raff was
stupid, and Raff was not one to stand up for himself. Thus he was an easy
target. But it was the third that really bothered Amos: Raff was a Sin Eater.
There
was a Sin Eater in every backward neighborhood. In every small town where the
folk ranged toward the lower end of the scales of education, income, and
ambition. There was always somebody who was the designated object of contempt.
The people needed someone on whom to vent their irritation, anger, or despair.
They needed to have someone to blame. For anything. Someone who was
SIN
EATER 259
plainly
inferior. Someone to punish for the frustration of the neighborhood. Raff had
become that person.
They
didn't accept his exoneration because they didn't want to. Never mind about
fairness; they needed their Sin Eater. Raff was too convenient to let go. It
was simpler to maintain a scapegoat than to address intractable grievances such
as inadequate education, low wages, and rampant crime.
That
was why Amos hadn't told Colene about it. He saw it as an insoluble problem. He
railed against it, but it was impossible to convince people of what was true
when they were enamored of what was false. Raff was the victim of the
community's need to degrade someone. It was easier than trying to lift
themselves out of their own Sloughs of Despond.
"Their
own whats?"
Seqiro
dug into the voluminous ancillary material he had culled from Amos' pedantic
mind. It turned out that this was a classical reference deriving from a work of
literature titled Pilgrim's Progress, where there were some bad geographical
regions, such as vast bogs or sloughs.
"Oh,
we passed through one of those on the way here," Darius said.
"Burgess had to float us across it."
But the
reference was actually religious. A sect called the Catholics applied it to a
sect called the Protestants, and vice versa. Amos, however, used it in a social
sense: it was as if all the people of this region were stuck in a mire, and
instead of seeking positive ways to extricate themselves, they preferred to
beat down someone else, preferably one who couldn't defend himself. Amos'
disgust permeated the concept.
"I
like Amos better as I get to know him," Darius remarked. "But I don't
see how we can help Raff. He should move to another community."
But
Raff's family was too poor to move. That was part of it: the Sin Eater couldn't
readily escape. He was locked into the position, and just had to accept the
abuse.
Seqiro
moved along the streets. It seemed there were signals which directed people and
cars when to move and
260 CHAOS MODE
when to
stop. The horse couldn't see those, but he didn't need to; he picked up the
information from the minds of the people, and had no trouble. In fact a number
of people admired the huge animal, especially the children, and most of all the
young girls. To many of them, a horse was the ultimate creature.
'That
is the way it is with Colene," Darius said. "She longed for a horse,
and you were the horse she longed for."
/
longed for a girl, and she was the girl I longed for. But it was you she was
searching for.
"She
wanted a horse and a man. But I think if she had to chose between us, to be
with only one of us, you would be the one."
Perhaps.
But her ultimate loyalty must be to her own kind. She must in the end be with
you.
"Fortunately
there is no conflict. She does not have to choose between us. I like you too,
and will be glad to have you with us."
/ think
there is no good place for me in your Mode.
"But
you can not stay forever on the Virtual Mode. As you breathe, your substance is
slowly replaced by the material of the many Modes we cross, and the time will come
when that overbalances your anchor Mode substance, and you will no longer be
able to cross the Modes. You must decide where you wish to be, before that
happens."
That is
a hard decision. Perhaps I would remain with you. But what then of Nona and Burgess?
'That
is a difficult question. Burgess really needs a hive of his own kind. Nona
wants to explore forever, and does not wish to marry and settle down. I would
be happy to have her for a mistress, but Colene would object."
Most
strenuously, Seqiro agreed. She does not appreciate the way of a stallion with
mares.
Darius
laughed. "At least you do!"
/
understand the one I am with, as I explained before. I can then use my mind
similarly. This is a pleasure for me, as I am not naturally intelligent.
SIN
EATER 261
"Don't
you ever long for your home, with others of your kind, including mares?"
/ was
dissatisfied in my Mode. I was not comfortable with the complete domination of
your kind by my kind, and I wanted to explore other ways of existing. Therefore
/ was out of favor, and am not welcome there. As for mares— they are the same
as any other horses, except when in heat, and that is quickly attended to. We
do not marry in the fashion of your kind.
"But
now that you have associated so closely with us, you must have come to
appreciate our ways. You understand the meaning of personal commitment. Of
love. You will not be able to throw those concepts away as if they never
existed. Wouldn't you like a long-term relationship with a mare who understood
you? Suppose there were a mare who resembled Colene?"
There
is such a mare. But she is a figment of Colene's imagination. Colene calls her
Maresy Doates.
Darius
shook his head. "A dream mare! Yet strange things can happen on the Virtual
Mode. Maybe she exists in one of the Modes adjacent to yours."
They
resumed their practicing for telepathic resistance. The horse always won
easily, but he assured Darius that his level of resistance was increasing.
They
reached the doctor's office. Darius had not had to worry about the route,
because Seqiro had memorized the map when Colene had studied it, and had a firm
sense of his place on its grid. They went to the parking lot beside it, and
Darius dismounted. Seqiro waited beside the cars, tuning in to Colene, her
parents, and the doctor. He would make sure that there was no trouble.
Hi,
folks, Colene's thought came. Get in here, Darius. There was a current of joy
in her that would have made her marriageable in his Mode had it been permanent
instead of the surge of the moment.
Darius
went inside, guided by Colene's knowledge, relayed by the horse. There he
suffered himself to be stuck by a needle so that some of his blood could be
sucked out for their science tests. This would assure that he carried no
262 CHAOS MODE
loathsome
disease, as if that were not self-evident. Colene had already given her blood.
"Now
we go to the license office," Colene said. "See you there,
Darius."
Darius
returned to Seqiro, and they set out across the grid of streets again. They
continued to practice resistance. This time Colene tuned in on it, realizing
what they were doing. Try me too, horse/ace, she thought. Make me bite my
thumb. Ouch!
But her
resistance had been more than Darius' resistance. She had been close to the
horse for longer, and she was more truly attuned. This gave her a better
knowledge of the ways of his power, and she was able to fashion a more
effective defense against it. She also had a stronger motive: she had been
stunned by a mental blow from one of the other horses of Seqiro's Mode, and
knew firsthand how devastating it could be. She wanted never to be subjected to
that again.
In due
course they reached the appropriate office. This time Seqiro had more delicate
work to do: he had to convince the clerk that Darius had appropriate
identification, such as a "driver's license," "birth
certificate"—as if a person needed proof to show he had been born!—and
then sign his name on a line of a piece of paper filled with print, He took a
blank sheet of paper from Colene and showed it as many times as the clerk
requested things, and each time Seqiro made the clerk satisfied that he had
seen what was required. Darius was not entirely easy about this, yet knew that
if he tried to provide the legitimate identification of his own culture, it
would not be understood. This was a shortcut through blind bureaucracy, as
Colene put it. He filled in the forms with information Colene provided, letting
her mental hand guide his hand so that he wrote in her graphics, and it was
done. They had their marriage license.
Now
Colene had to go with her folks to make other arrangements. Darius had the rest
of the day to himself. It was time to deal with the matter of the Sin Eater.
Seqiro's mind ranged out to the region where the abused
SIN
EATER 263
youth
lived. Soon enough he located Raff, and walked toward his neighborhood. Even
from a distance, the confusion and self-loathing registered. 'That young man is
truly unhappy," Darius said. "And he did not even do the crime. He
does not understand why they blame him."
We
might give him understanding, by connecting your mind to his. Would that help?
"I
am not sure it would. It is the community that needs better understanding. It
is the community that is doing wrong. If that changed, then the Sin Eater would
be freed."
/ could
compel some individuals to change, but that would endure only while I applied
mental force. They would revert when I stopped.
"When
we were crossing the bog, I tried to draw and multiply the mental powers of
others. I made Nona's magic work for us all, for a while. If I could multiply a
change of attitude, it might last for several months, as does the joy I
normally spread. But I do not know whether I could do that, and in any event my
magic does not work in this Earth Mode."
How do
you know that it does not?
"I
tried it when I was here. I was unable to conjure myself or anything else, and
I could not multiply joy. Certainly I would have used my magic to defend
myself, were it possible, when I was attacked by four youths from a car."
What
happened? I learned some of this from Colene, but now need to know more.
"I
had just arrived here, before we instituted the Virtual Mode. It was a spot
crossover, just sufficient for me to find and extract the woman I had come for.
I did not realize then that she was extractable because she was destined to
have little impact on her own Mode, therefore could be readily removed from it.
She was going to die soon, by her own hand. She was a vessel of dolor instead
of joy. But at that point I knew none of this. I simply found myself by the
street, and I had to step quickly back to avoid being struck by a car. A person
in the car made
264 CHAOS MODE
a
gesture, which I took to be communication of some kind, so 1 emulated it. The
car then stopped, and four youths emerged and attacked me. I tried to invoke a
pacification spell, but it had no effect. I was battered, and left in sore
straits. It was Colene who later came and rescued me from likely death by
exposure. By the time we came to understand each other, I loved her, and she
loved me. But she declined to return to my Mode with me, and I knew she was a
vessel of grief, so I left her—and then regretted it, and instituted the
Virtual Mode in an effort to find her again and bring her home."
Colene
has started to learn magic, or at least telepathy, from association with me. Is
it possible that my ability could help you similarly?
"Perhaps.
But it is not telepathy I need. It is my own power of magic."
/ am
thinking that association with me might change your ability, as is the case
with Colene. Perhaps that was why you were able to multiply magic, on the bog.
You might recover some of your magic, when linked with me.
"I
doubt it. I did not have my magic in the Shale Mode."
But
Nona had some of hers, and you had some of yours in the Fractal Mode. We do not
know why the magic patterns as it does. Could it be because of the company we
keep?
"Now,
that's an interesting notion! Very well, let's experiment." Darius brought
out his own icon, and invoked it. He tried to conjure himself across the
street.
There
was no effect. The magic wasn't operative.
Try
your mental magic.
"For
that I need a subject from whom to draw, and subjects to receive."
Can you
try it in a small way?
"I
could try to draw from you, and return it immediately. But you would not care
for that."
/ could
tolerate it.
So
Darius focused on the horse, and drew his joy—and felt it working. He returned
it.
SIN
EATER 265
/ felt
it, and not merely through your own awareness. That magic works.
It did
work—when it had not before. It was different this time. Because of the horse.
"I
think we now have a tool we can use to help the Sin Eater," Darius said,
quick to appreciate the possibilities. "But we still must discover how
best to do it. I wish to bring him joy, but none to the oppressive
community."
After a
time, Seqiro had another thought. The youths who attacked you: they are
approaching.
"Those
ones? How can you know that? I don't even know their identities!"
Your
mind has a picture of them. Their minds have pictures of you. As I range
through this community, I am aware of correspondences. There is an alignment.
They are in a car, and they are looking for trouble. This is the way they
entertain themselves. They like to insult and hurt other people. I am reading
this in their minds.
Darius
considered. He had never expected to have such a meeting, but realized that
this was the same segment of the same Mode where he had encountered the youths
before. They were traveling in their car, cruising the neighborhood, as it
seemed was their wont. So it was not after all surprising that they should pass
close to him.
"Seqiro,
I am not a vengeful man, but it is in my mind that I owe those youths somewhat.
They sought to make of me a Sin Eater, and brought me pain. Would you object if
I repaid them for the beating they gave me before?"
/ do
not like their minds. I share your anger. I have no objection.
"In
Colene's mind, or in Amos' mind, or in the awareness of others you have
surveyed, has there been an indication of especially dangerous folk in this
community?"
There
is what is termed a motorcycle gang at its fringe. This is considered to be
dangerous to those who annoy it.
"When
I saw those youths—that gesture of theirs I emulated—was that an insult?"
The
horse explored the minds. That gesture is consid-
266 CHAOS MODE
ered
provocative. The one who receives it is required to avenge the affront, or
suffer loss of esteem.
"Could
you cause the youths to drive past that gang, and make that signal?"
Watch.
In
Darius' mind appeared the image culled from the mind of one of the riders of
the car. The buildings were moving rapidly back on either side of the car, and
other cars were being narrowly passed. This was termed Joy Riding, and was the
youths' main diversion.
The car
swerved around a comer, taking a new direction. "Hey, watch it!" one of
the youths protested as his container of alcoholic beverage slopped over.
"You near rolled us over!"
"1
can't help it!" the driver replied. "Something's making me do
it."
The
other three laughed. "Yeah, sure!" the viewpoint character said.
"Where's this demon making you go?"
"To
the Chain Gang."
There
was more laughter, but it lacked force. "You know we don't mess with those
toughs," another youth said, sounding a bit nervous. "Those chains
they use pack a mean wallop."
But the
car kept zooming in the new direction. Soon it was entering the region of the
gang.
"Hey,
fun's fun, but it ain't fun to trespass on their territory," the fourth
youth said. "Lay off, Buzz."
Buzz
continued to zero in on the hangout of the Chain Gang. The main group of
motorcycles came into view. Several gang members were standing outside,
swigging beer.
The car
slowed. Then the viewpoint youth put his head and right arm out the side
window. "Hey, ganglia, suck on this," he said, lifting one finger.
Then Buzz gunned the motor, almost running down a parked motorcycle.
It was
like banging on a hornet's nest. There was a yell. Men piled out of the
hangout. In a moment several motors were starting.
SIN
EATER 267
"Get
out of here, Buzz!" a youth yelled, terrified by what they had so
foolishly done.
But
Buzz just poked along, making sure that the cyclists got a good look at the
car. As the first cycle roared into pursuit, another youth released his belt
and dropped his trousers and undershorts. Then he contorted himself so as to
poke his bare buttocks out his window. The first youth reached out his own
window and repeated the finger gesture with an exaggerated upward hooking
motion. "Up yours!" he yelled. "Sideways! The same goes for your
gooney friends!" It all seemed rather pointless to Darius, but the horse
assured him that it was effective communication in this Mode.
Then
Seqiro released the driver. The four youths were on their own.
Do you
wish to watch further?
Darius
chuckled. "No. I am not a man of violence, and I fear that some is going
to occur." But he was hardly unhappy about it, remembering the drubbing
those same youths had given him for returning their own gesture. "How did
you know those particular words that the gesturing youth spoke? They did not
come from my mind."
Colene
had a fantasy of arranging such a sequence for the other four youths who raped
her. I merely applied her scenario.
The
rapists! Darius got a wicked notion. "Are they in this neighborhood
also?"
Seqiro
searched. Yes. This is what is considered to be the bad section of town. Their
residence is not far away.
"I
would like to deal with those youths too. Cofene does not wish to make trouble,
fearing that it will interfere with our marriage. But perhaps we can arrange
something appropriate for those young men, also."
They
caused Colene a great deal of anguish. That rape was the start of her trend
toward suicide. I do not regard them as worthy humans.
"I
love her, and wish I could marry her in my Mode as well as this one, but she is
now a vessel of dolor and I can not. To the extent that those men are
responsible for that,
268 CHAOS MODE
I hate
them, and wish them ill. The question is what is feasible and
appropriate?"
Amos
knows of the rape. Had he not been prevented by his oath of secrecy, he would
have reported them to the police. The authorities would have made things
difficult for the rapists, if they were able to prove the case against
them.
"I
think we can arrange to prove the case. We shall cause them to go to the police
themselves and confess, and give full details."
This
appeals to me.
"Do
it, then!"
The
horse reached out. In a moment the youths were getting themselves ready to go
out. By the time Seqiro and Darius reached the abode of the Sin Eater, the four
youths were in the police station making their confessions. In fact, as Seqiro
explored their minds, he discovered that Colene had not been the only case;
they had done a similar thing with several innocent girls. It was their way of
having fun. So their confessions were making extremely interesting listening
for the police, who were rapidly becoming satisfied that there was substance
here.
Darius
nodded, satisfied. "This is a thing that has been worth doing."
/ am
glad to have been in contact with you on this occasion, because without you I
would not have had the initiative or motive to accomplish this action.
Darius
patted the horse on the massive shoulder. "We make a good team, Seqiro.
Now we must address the mission we came for. How can we gain justice for the
Sin Eater?"
We can
not benefit him by leading him past the Chain Gang or making him confess to the
police. He is now on his way home from school, knowing nothing of us.
"What
of the actual rapist—the one who committed the crime of which Raff was
accused?"
The
horse quested through the local minds, as they stood there in the street. The
houses here looked much like all the other houses they had been passing, only
worse.
SIN
EATER 269
People
were coming and going constantly, ignoring the man and horse because Seqiro
encouraged them to do that. They were not well dressed, and a number were
engaged in what Seqiro fathomed as illicit trade.
The
rapist is a close relative of the girl. He told her he would kilt her if she
exposed him. So she blamed Raff instead.
"Would
the man have killed her?"
It is
possible. The girl remains afraid of him, and no longer protests when he comes
to her, though she has no liking for his brutality.
"Then
we had better make him go and confess too. But that still will not make the
community respect Raff."
That is
true. I find nothing here but closed minds. They do not want the Sin Eater
exonerated.
"They
are as bad as the rapist, in their way," Darius said, angry. "How do
you change closed minds?"
/ can
do that only temporarily.
"I
am afraid that Amos is correct. This problem can not truly be solved. We can
only enable Raff to go to some other community."
He is
approaching now, coming home from school. He does not want to leave. He wants
only for the torment to stop.
Darius
looked down the street. He saw a youth walking toward them. There were others
his age, also coming home from school, but they walked on the other side of the
street, emanating contempt.
Then
three crossed over to join Raff. But they were not suffering a change of heart.
One carried a stick. Raff saw them and broke into a run, trying to escape them,
but they pursued him, jeering.
"Do
it," Darius said grimly, sending a thought.
The boy
with the stick swung it, striking one of his companions on the shoulder. When
the third protested, the boy struck him too. The injured ones screamed with
pain and protest.
A man
heard the scream and charged out of his house. He saw Raff and grabbed him.
"You hit him! You hit
270 CHAOS MODE
him!"
the man shouted, shaking Raff. The man hadn't even bothered to ascertain the
truth.
"Do
it," Darius said again.
The boy
with the stick came up behind the man and thwacked him across the back. The
man, hurt and amazed, let Raff go and whirled on the boy.
But
other neighbors were converging now. Several were stalking Raff, evidently
intending harm. Raff, not understanding any of this, was trying to avoid them
and run for home. He wasn't even protesting; it was evident that this sort of
thing happened to him often enough to be routine. He expected to be cursed and
beaten, in the name of the righteousness of the community. No one was siding
with him, or pointing out that he had done nothing here. He was guilty by
definition.
"They
are determined to blame the Sin Eater, no matter what," Darius said.
"When we try to help him, they just go after him more."
Raff is
feeling truly awful now. Use your magic.
"It
doesn't work that way. I can only draw joy and spread it to the multitude. I
can not take away prejudice, ignorance, and mean-spiritedness."
Spread
his grief to the multitude.
Suddenly
Darius understood. "Give me all the power you can." He jumped down
and ran to Raff. The people of the neighborhood gave way before him, directed
by the horse. He caught Raff and threw his arms around him. He drew from Raff,
depleting him of all his misery. The terrible emotion came into Darius.
Then he
let the youth go. He multiplied the grief and sent it out to the multitude.
Suddenly everybody in the neighborhood was surfeit with the same emotion Raff
felt. Raff felt it too, but for him it was familiar, and not quite as intense
as before.
Darius
walked back to the horse. Raff resumed his dejected walk home. The neighbors,
of all ages, stood appalled. They all felt terrible, and did not know why. They
would feel this way for several months, as the emotional transfer slowly wore
off.
SIN
EATER 271
Perhaps,
by then, they would have learned some compassion.
Darius
mounted Seqiro. They set off for Colene's house some distance away. They, too,
were depressed. But they understood why, and knew how to abate it. They were
satisfied. It did not matter that the community's mass depression would have no
rational explanation. Colene's debt to Amos had been repaid.
—
CHAPTER 13
WEDDING
/"'OLENE
was in a whirl. She was trying to stay current with Burgess, who was trying a
new pill each hour, as Nona ground it up and proffered the powder for him to
suck up weakly. So far there had been no significant effect, and she was
beginning to fear that this was not the answer. She was also trying to follow
Darius and Seqiro, who had headed off to the seamy section of town to see about
the Sin Eater. They were competent to travel alone, because Seqiro's telepathy
was operative, readily reaching across town; in fact it seemed to be able to
reach thirty miles or so, here on Earth. Seqiro had long experience controlling
human beings, and that's what was here, by no coincidence. Darius provided the
human brainpower and initiative and nerve; they would do something for the Sin
Eater if it were possible. Amos would be pleased when he learned of this quiet
effort, later.
But
mainly Colene had to keep track of her mother, who was hyper. She had stayed
home from work, to manage this occasion. She was determined that Colene was
going to have a perfect wedding dress, come what may. And a grand bouquet of
flowers. And a wedding cake. Everything. So she was measuring Colene, and
sewing material, and baking, in parallel columns as it were.
WEDDING 273
"But
Mother, it's only a justice of the peace in Texas," Colene protested.
"A dinky little civil ceremony, no frills." She didn't have the heart
to say that it was just so that Darius would accept her as Old Enough, and not
go seek a relationship with someone else before Colene was of age. This really
was a case of being born too late. Fortunately a token ceremony would remedy
that. Nona really had found the way to solve her problem. She also didn't say
that the marriage would be valid only in the Earth Mode; she would be a mere
mistress in Darius' home Mode. But this was the necessary compromise she had to
make, unless she could learn to be a vessel of joy.
"The
bride always has a nice dress, and a corsage, and a cake to cut," her
mother insisted. "It will be a nice wedding."
Colene
saw that her mother had a fantasy of how a wedding had to be, and was
determined that her daughter would fulfill the role. Perhaps she was fulfilling
herself, in the manner of a father pushing his son into football, trying to
realize the unfulfilled dreams of the parent in the child. And Colene could not
say that this was wrong. It was certainly so much better than having her mother
get drunk. So if this was what made her positive, it was best to encourage it.
Colene could wear a wedding dress for a civil ceremony.
Her
father had meanwhile gone off to work, but he was making the arrangements in
Texas by phone. Her father had always been competent with details, and Colene
had always gotten along with him well enough. She hadn't even blamed him for
his extramarital affairs, really. Who wanted to come home to a woman in an
alcoholic stupor? Of course there was the nagging question whether her mother
would have taken to drinking if her father had been home with her every night.
Colene had never been sure which was the chicken and which the egg in this
regard. Probably it had been a messy mixture, like everything else, with her
father having a wandering eye and her mother a taste for drink. The two had
played off each other, making each worse.
274 CHAOS MODE
Yet it
had to be recognized too that neither parent had ever abused Colene in any
direct way. She had never been beaten or fondled or unreasonably punished; she
had never gone hungry or inadequately clothed. Not even verbal abuse. Yet she
had become suicidal. Now, as she saw her parents being so positive on her
behalf, she was moved to wonder why. She had been raped, yes—but other girls
got raped without turning suicidal. It had been a shock, certainly, and it had
changed her opinion of herself and torpedoed her trust in people and made her
extremely wary of strange men. It had left her with an abiding disgust with the
whole business: the boys for doing it, herself for allowing it to happen, the
society for fostering the attitude that a man was supposed to take whatever he
could get away with, and that it was the girl's fault for being the victim. She
had indeed lost her innocence, and had never felt fully clean since. But now
that she understood the larger picture—why was she still suicidal?
And she
was still suicidal, she knew. She had not been tempted to try to kill herself
since she had set out on the Virtual Mode to rejoin Darius, but she remained,
in his parlance, a vessel of dolor. Any time things went wrong, she got
depressive. Probably the key factor was Seqiro: within his mental ambience, she
was always mostly positive, but without it she would be her natural self. She
loved Darius, but she needed Seqiro. She was artificially propped up by the
support of the group she had found. By the hive, as Burgess saw it. She needed
the hive as much as he did.
So it
had to be her family. She had not been conscious of the stress at first, but
after the rape she needed the support of a strong family, and it simply wasn't
there. Her father was mostly physically absent, and her mother mostly mentally
absent. So Colene had wound down, down, into her own private hell, because
there had been nothing to stop her. No real family, no close friends.
But now
she had friends, on the Virtual Mode. And now her parents were trying to do
what they had not done before, being there for her. Rather late, and almost pitiful
in
WEDDING 275
their
determined sincerity, but they did mean well. It was not their fault that they
hardly knew how.
So she
would wear her wedding dress, and carry the flowers, Nona would have to make
Darius a formal suit. They would go through the motions, to give her parents a
memory picture to sustain them when Colene was gone again.
Her
father called: it had been arranged, in Wichita Falls, just across the border
in Texas. The caterer would have it ready tomorrow afternoon, Saturday.
Caterer?
"Mother, what is going on?"
"For
the reception, dear. There is always a reception after a wedding."
"Not
for a civil service!"
"Well,
there will be a nondenominational minister. We couldn't arrange a Catholic
wedding, on such short notice."
They
couldn't arrange a Catholic wedding regardless of the notice, because they were
an extremely poor excuse for a Catholic family, and Darius had no truck with
any Earthly religion. But what were they trying for?
Colene
realized that she had to get to the bottom of this. She could have Seqiro pry
it out of her mother's mind, but that didn't seem quite fair. It was better to
make her mother be open. "Exactly what are you planning, Mother?"
"Well,
we thought a nice church ceremony, with music, and a photographer—"
"A
photographer! That's only for a fancy full-dress social event! And a
church—music—"
"It
is all being taken care of. No need to worry."
"But
the expense must be ruinous!"
"Oh,
please, Colene, we only want what is best for you. We want you to be married in
style."
Colene
opened her mouth to protest this disaster, but saw her mother's strained face
and realized that she, Colene, was on the verge of parent abuse. She would be
here such a brief time, and her folks wanted to make the most of it. How could
she blame them? Perhaps this was
276 CHAOS MODE
their
way to sublimate the romance that had been tost in their own marriage. They
wanted their daughter to have a romantic wedding. No matter what.
She felt
tears. It was touching, in its inadequate way. A brave show now, instead of
emotional support back when she had needed it. Her parents just didn't know how
to relate. "Thank you, Mother."
Then
she was distracted by something Darius and Seqiro had done. Her mouth pursed in
an O of belated appreciation. Males would be males, and the man and stallion
were doing something naughty. They had found the earful of punks of who had
beaten up Darius the first time he visited Earth. All because one of them had given
him the finger, and he, thinking it to be a polite greeting, had returned it.
He could have died, if Colene hadn't found him in the ditch near her house and
helped him. That had been their first encounter, the beginning of the
restoration of Colene's desire to live. But no thanks at all to the punks,
because Darius had been looking for Colene anyway, and had not intended trouble
for anyone. Colene had had to go to dangerous trouble to get back the key he
required to return to his Mode. The punks had stolen it from him, not knowing
its nature. The punks deserved whatever they got.
She
watched the picture she culled from Seqiro, really enjoying it. The punks drove
by the hangout of the Chain Gang and one of them gave a gang member a wicked
finger. Another mooned them. Plus a verbal insult or two. Exactly as she had
fantasized it for her revenge on the rapists, Seqiro had drawn it from her mind
and made it come true, in a fashion. Soon the chase was on—and Seqiro let the
punk driver go. The punks would have to get out of it whatever way they could.
They had just about the same chance they had given Darius, for the same
offense.
But the
Chain Gang was not a collection of idle youths seeking incidental thrills. They
took their honor seriously. They radioed ahead, and a barricade was put across
the street ahead of the fleeing car. The youths, knowing better than to stop,
tried to go through it—and nail-studded
WEDDING 277
boards
punctured their tires. They were lucky they didn't roll over.
They
piled out of the car as it slowed to a stop. But the cyclists were already
there, swinging their mean chains. They weren't out to kill, just to make a
demonstration. They were good at that sort of thing. It would take the punks
time to recover physically, and longer emotionally, and some of the scars would
be with them for life. It would also be some time before anybody else tried to
aggravate the Chain Gang, knowing the consequence. That was okay; Colene
believed that Slick, the man whose abused niece Colene had helped rescue, had
come from the Chain Gang in his younger days, and Colene liked Slick despite
his profession.
Colene
tuned out, satisfied that justice was being done. There was the sound of a
police siren, but in the minute or so it would take for the police to arrive
the job would be complete and the motorcycles would be gone. There would be no
adequate police report; it was just another incidental rumble. No one would
know what had really happened, not even the participants. Except for the members
of the hive.
"You
must be very happy, dear," Colene's mother remarked, noting her smile.
"I
think I am," Colene agreed, allowing her mother to believe that thoughts
of the wedding were responsible. Actually that too was worth smiling about.
But
things were not going as well in the tent. Burgess was having a reaction to one
of the pills. His body was shaking and his air was flowing erratically. The
calculated risk was miscalculating.
"Mom,
let's take a break, okay?" Colene said, shrugging out of the
dress-in-the-making. "I'll be back." She hurried to the back door.
"But
you can't go outside like that!" her mother protested.
Colene
realized that she was in bra and panties. "I'll put something on,"
she said over her shoulder as she exited. Then, to Nona: Clothe me with
illusion.
278 CHAOS MODE
When
her mother looked out, she saw Colene in normal street clothes. The woman
turned away, blinking. Why had she thought Colene would go out unclothed?
Colene
entered the tent. Nona was sitting with both hands on Burgess' contact points,
trying to steady him physically and emotionally. Colene plumped down on the
other side, taking hold of two more points.
Now she
felt the distress within the floater, which did not transmit well by telepathy.
He had indeed been poisoned by the pill; something in it was bad for him. He
was sick, feeling somewhat the way a person would when it was necessary to
throw up. "Clear it out, Burgess!" she cried. "Just blow out the
rest of that powder, if you can. We won't give you any more like that."
It was
too late to blow it out, because he had taken the pill most of an hour before.
But Colene's presence, physical and mental, calmed him. His shuddering eased,
and he became normal. But still very weak. He still needed that missing
element.
"I
tried to help, but I don't relate as well as you do," Nona said
apologetically. "When you came, he started to get better. I could feel the
change."
"Maybe
it's my telepathy," Colene said. "It helps me get in closer touch,
when Seqiro's at a distance."
"Whatever
it is, I lack it," Nona said. "My magic just doesn't help him."
Colene
let go. "Let me see those pills," she said. She took the bottles and
scanned their listed contents for common ingredients. "This is the first
one with fish oil," she said. "Must be something in it that makes him
allergic. We'll set aside any other with fish oil."
She
culled the remaining bottles. "Keep trying them," she said.
"Just don't give him these three." She marked the three with X's and
put them aside. "Now I have to go back inside, before Mom gets upset. But
call me if you need me." She grasped Burgess' contact points again, giving
him emotional reassurance, then departed.
She
returned to the house. She paused in the kitchen. Vanish the clothing, she
thought to Nona, and it faded out.
WEDDING 279
Now she
could get back into the wedding dress, which was standing on petticoat hoops in
the living room.
She had
hardly resumed that business when she became aware of more activity by Darius
and Seqiro. This time they had found the rapists! The boys who had tricked
Colene to their apartment and coerced her into sex. She had known it would be
futile to go after them, because it would only be her word against theirs, and
the men always won that round. But she had reckoned without Seqiro's power. All
four were heading down to the police station to make detailed confessions.
But
this was where Darius and Seqiro's inexperience hurt. The police would not just
take the word of the four; they would seek to verify it objectively, by
interviewing Colene herself—and Colene would be gone. That would deflate the
case. Especially since the boys would recant their confessions the moment
Seqiro wasn't there to keep them straight. Darius just didn't know how things
were, here on Earth; he thought one action would take care of it. There was a
certain charm in his naivete.
Except
that it turned out that there had been other girls. Colene hadn't thought of
that. Go after another girl first, she thought hard to Seqiro. He would see
that the first confession featured one of the others, who would still be
available, and that might be enough to establish the case. They normally made
the case from just one example, so that if that failed, they could take up the
next example as a new charge. It made sense. Certainly those four boys would be
in for the hassle of their lives before this was done. That was a nice thought.
"You
are smiling again," her mother observed.
"I
was thinking of the nice things my friends are doing for me." Such as
diddling the diddlers. There was immense satisfaction in that.
Then
they worked on her hair. She had always worn her brown tresses loose and
shoulder length, trying to cultivate sensual curls, but now her mother bound
them up with a sparkling tiara.
The
dress was finally ready. Colene had to admit that
280 CHAOS MODE
she
looked extremely mature and fetching in it, sort of like a picture. She was
small, but some women were. She was young, but women were supposed to look
young. The dress actually aged her somewhat, by its conservative lines, and the
hairdo transformed her face. The bodice even made her bosom look fuller. She
hardly recognized herself.
"Oh,
Mom!" she cried, hugging her. She hadn't wanted anything this fancy, but
now that she was in it, she loved it. This was just one terrific experience.
"Now
you had better rest," her mother told her, pleased. "You will have a
big day tomorrow, and you want to look fresh."
She was
making sense. So Colene went upstairs to her old room and lay down on her old
bed. Everything was charged with nostalgia, now. She couldn't really relax, of
course, but this was a good place to be in touch with the others.
Burgess
was unchanged, finding neither poison nor cure in the next pill Nona
administered. That was getting worrisome. Suppose none of the pills worked?
Would it mean that they just hadn't found the right one yet, or that the whole
theory was wrong? They just had to find something to make Burgess better, and
to keep him better. That was the whole reason they had stopped here on Earth.
She
tuned in on Darius and Seqiro. Now they were addressing their true mission, the
Sin Eater. They had learned all about the situation, which was ugly, but were
still trying to figure a solution. There didn't seem to be one. Were they going
to have to let it go? Darius had discovered that his joy-spreading magic worked
on Earth, when he was with Seqiro, but there was no joy to be spread in that
neighborhood, only grief. Those miserable folk were as bad as Colene herself,
except that they got their kicks from humbling others. That made them worse.
Yet
there had to be some way. Colene cudgeled her brain—and came up with it. No
misery was worse than that of the Sin Eater, or less deserved. Why not spread
that around? At least it might teach that community a lesson.
WEDDING 281
When
everyone felt as bad as the Sin Eater, maybe they would stop being so mean to
him. It was worth a try. She fired that notion off to Seqiro, and he suggested
it to Darius. In a moment Darius was doing it, drawing from Raff, then sending
it out to everyone in range. The effect was stunning—for everyone except the
Sin Eater himself, who was used to it.
Would
it have the desired long-term effect? It would be hard to know. But it was most
gratifying for the short term. Darius and Seqiro had done excellent work this
day, settling scores with the beat-up punks, the rapists, and the oppressors of
me Sin Eater. Now if tomorrow just went as well ...
To her
surprise, she slept. When she woke, it was evening, and not only were Darius
and Seqiro back, they were gone again. They had consulted with Colene's
parents, and decided to head off for Texas early, so as to be in no rush on Saturday.
"But I wanted to see them!" Colene protested, bemused.
"It
is too close to the wedding," her mother cautioned her. "It is bad
luck for the groom to see the bride right before the ceremony."
You let
her push you around, Colene thought to groom and horse.
She
made sense, Darius returned. The distance is about fifty °f y°ur local miles,
and we would like to rest before the occasion, so we started out early. Seqiro
will wait about halfway there, because that is about the limit of his range in
this Mode, and we need to remain in touch with Nona and Burgess. He should be
able to reach both parties, from the center.
"But
my folks don't know anything about Seqiro and Burgess," Colene muttered
subvocally. "I mean, that Seqiro is a special horse."
When we
explained it, we made sense, he replied, with a corollary thought indicating
how the horse had touched the woman's mind just enough. Seqiro was proving to
be extremely useful in this respect. You and your parents will
282 CHAOS MODE
rendezvous
with us tomorrow morning, and I will then join you for the remainder of the
journey.
It did
indeed make sense. "Okay, manface, horsetail," she said. "But
don't do it again." Then she remembered another thing. "But your
suit! Nona needs to make—"
She has
done so. I have it with me in a bag. Also food for us both. If we need anything
else, we shall obtain it on the way. We work well together.
"Hey,
don't get too friendly, and cut me out," she said.
Never
that, girlface, Seqiro's thought came.
Colene
checked on Nona and Burgess. They were doing well enough, considering. They had
tried all the remaining bottles except the three Colene had set aside, with no
sufficient effect. But Burgess seemed slightly improved. Perhaps the Earth air was
slowly restoring him. Nona was having no trouble, as she was able to use her
magic to provide anything she desired. They would be all right for the night,
and for the following day, until the hive could get back together and ponder
die next step.
EARLY
in the morning Colene heard a motor. She looked out the window and recognized
Amos ForeH's car, She hurried out in her nightie to intercept him, forgetting
that Seqiro was not close by to make things seem reasonable. Fortunately it was
an unusually warm morning, for an Oklahoma winter.
He eyed
her, smiling. "What mischief are you up to now, Colene?"
"I'm
getting married."
"Thai's
the outfit for it,"
"My
mother made me a fancy wedding dress. I'll squirm into it when the time comes.
Why are you here?"
"Your
horse says that none of the pills worked. I have another idea." He showed
a larger bottle. "It occurred to me that something ancient might be the
key. This is dolomite."
"You
mean now dolor comes in a bottle?"
"Calcium-magnesium
carbonate. Don't you remember your science? We need both calcium and magnesium
for
WEDDING 283
our
bones and teeth, so it stands to reason that Burgess could have some use for
some of this too. It seems worth a try."
Colene
warred with herself. She did want to try the dolomite, in the hope that it
would cure Burgess. But she was afraid mat there could be a bad reaction, and
if that happened, she would need to be there to help tide the floater through
the crisis. It would be safer to wait until she returned, late tomorrow.
Then
her suicidal aspect took control. It was a gamble, but a good one. "Let's
try it!"
They
entered the tent. Nona, still asleep, was startled awake, her limbs flashing.
Embarrassed, she quickly clothed herself in illusion.
"As
if I didn't see enough of that in class," Amos muttered with mock
annoyance. "I must say, though, it's impressive, considering that you
obviously weren't using illusion while sleeping."
Nona
looked blankly at him. Colene, realizing that Seqiro was not on the job,
translated. Then Nona smiled.
The
dolomite was already in powder form. They put a little bit out, and Burgess
sucked it in.
Almost
immediately he perked up. This was it! What he needed was here!
"It
is?" Colene asked, thrilled. "Well, have some more!" She poured
out another spoonful.
"Caution,"
Amos said. "It is better to give it the time test, before taking too
much."
But
Burgess had already sucked up the spoonful. "Well, we'll stop there, for
now," Colene said. "No more, for another hour or two, if you're okay.
But it sure does look promising." She turned to Amos. "I have to go
get married. You can stay here with Nona if you want to. But I warn you, she'll
hit you with a fireball if you get fresh."
"I
would have the devil of a time explaining that to my wife. I will leave you to
it. But I will check again later in the day, to see how Burgess is. It is a
phenomenal pleasure to associate with such a creature, and I would like to see
him in healthy action."
284 CHAOS MODE
"I
think you will," Colene said as they left the tent. Then: "Damn! I
forgot to do it in the tent."
"Forgot
what?"
"This."
She pulled him down toward her and kissed him. "It would have been better
if nobody saw."
He
shook his head, bemused. "Colene, I think you had better get married
quickly."
"Yeah.
That was my last maidenly kiss. I didn't want to waste it."
Amos
returned to his car, and Colene to the house. Her parents were stirring, but
she was able to make it back to her room before they realized she had been out.
They
had breakfast, and packed the wedding gown. Her mother fixed Colene's hair,
complete with tiara, then put a plastic bonnet over it, so that it would keep
until the wedding. Her father went out to start the car. Colene went back to
check on Nona and Burgess one last time.
As she
went, she became aware of something wrong. "Oh!" Nona cried in her
language. She sounded desperate.
Colene
almost dived into the tent. Burgess was having a reaction, a worse one than
before. Air was blasting down, causing him to float erratically. The substance
he needed seemed to be in the dolomite powder, but there was poison too. Now he
was in trouble, having taken too much of the stuff.
"I
can't hold him!" Nona cried. She was sprawled across the floater, trying
to keep him down. "I'm afraid he'll hurt himself!"
Colene
plumped down beside Burgess, grabbing on to his contact points. "Hey,
easy, easy, fellah," she said, exerting her mind to calm him. "Try to
get the bad stuff out! You can do it."
"You're
helping," Nona said. "Oh, I'm so glad. I tried, but I don't have the
rapport you do."
Colene
knew it was true. She had the best rapport, and she could help Burgess when
others could not. Now she was aware of the agony within him, and knew that this
would be no five-minute problem. He was in deep trouble, and it would take
hours to tide him through—if it could be
WEDDING 285
done at
all. She had made a bad mistake, giving him the extra spoonful of dolomite.
"You
must go," Nona said. "I think it will be all right, now."
"No
it won't," Colene said. "I can feel his pain, deep down. I'm damping
it some now, but if I let go, it will rise up to overwhelm him. I can't leave
him."
"But
you have to get married! Everything is ready."
Colene
wrestled with horrible alternatives. She came to a decision. "I can't let
Burgess die, when I'm the one who OD'd him. I've got to see him through. You'll
have to go instead, Nona."
"But—"
"It's
all set. Seqiro's in range. He'll make you understand the ritual and words. You
can make yourself look like me. I can't disappoint my parents. The marriage
must go on. Go and do it, Nona. It's the only way."
Nona
stared at her. Then she got up and clothed herself in illusion. Suddenly she
did look like Colene, face, dress, and size. Even the tiara and bonnet. "I
will do it, Colene. For the sake of our friendship." She left.
Colene
concentrated on Burgess, seeking the pain in him and suppressing it. The flow
of air diminished, and he settled back on the ground. He was still in agony,
but it was becoming tolerable, with her help. She hung on, tiding him through,
making sure that his fundamental will to live remained. It seemed like hours,
but her watch said ten minutes.
She
heard the car move out. She tried to reach it with her mind, but her range was
too short. She was alone with Burgess.
Gradually
in the course of the next half hour, the pain in the floater eased, and she was
able to disengage from him somewhat. She sat beside him, one hand on a contact
point. "Well, I did it," she said conversationally. "I sent Nona
off to my wedding. I' wonder if that's what I had in mind all the time? She's
really a better match for him. She's older, and prettier, and she has way more
magic than I'll ever have."
286 CHAOS MODE
Burgess
began to be aware of his surroundings and her thoughts. He had not been in a
position to understand what was happening in her social horizon. What was Nona
doing?
"Nona
is marrying Darius, in my stead," Colene said. "I told her to. It
just had to be done. We couldn't cancel; it would have broken my folks' hearts,
after they put themselves in the hole to finance it. The show just had to go
on."
Then
she put her head down and wept. The tears flowed, and kept coming, dropping
into her lap. She knew she had done it to herself. She had gambled on Burgess'
treatment when she shouldn't, and then had to throw away her dream. But if it
hadn't been for Burgess, would she have found some other excuse? She had so
blithely set up to marry Darius, but she was afraid of marriage, too, because
she had seen so clearly what a loss her parents' marriage was. Was she, deep
down inside, determined to avoid the married state herself?
Or was
it that she remained suicidal in every way? Not merely in the body, slicing her
wrists, but in emotion, slicing her potential happiness? So that every time
something good threatened to happen to her, she just had to mess it up?
Sometimes she had used her nature to beat others, such as when she had won back
Darius' Mode-traveling key by challenging the jerk who had it to a bleeding
contest. She would have bled herself to death, too, if he hadn't backed off.
Because part of her always wanted to die. Did another part of her always want
to be miserable?
She
remembered telling Seqiro that she wanted everything—and nothing. She was a
cipher, even to herself, a riddle never to be understood. Even buoyed by her
friends of the hive, she had never truly known her true desire, and she didn't
know it now. What did she want, if she didn't die?
"My
future is a blur," she said to Burgess. "I have no goals, I only want
to make my life count. When I think of how short life is I can't accept mere
survival as an achievement. If there is nothing after we die, we have to
WEDDING 287
make
every second we're alive count. I don't want to be caught in 'Mundania.' I
can't bear to live a dull, gray existence when there are bright glorious
adventures to explore. I know they are out there somewhere. Because I can read
about them. Perhaps that's my trouble. I read far too much. At least I did
before I found the Virtual Mode. How can I help it, though? My life and the
life of a fantasy character just can't compare. Before, I was satisfied to live
the lives of the people in my books, but now I know that it's not the same. I
want to really and truly live. I want so many different things I know I can't
have. I'm bright, creative—I could probably choose any profession I wanted, but
I don't want any of them. Not here on Earth. I want to roam the universe
looking for adventure, never being sure where I'll go next. I want to be a
famous artist or musician or something. I want a simple home and family. I want
to change the world. I want everything anybody wants—and more. I wish there
were no civilization, only nature and living. I want to live in the wilderness
empty of people and technology. Yet I love to watch different people come and
go. I want to live in a bustling city. I want love, I want hate. I want a cause
I could give up everything for. I want to be able to just get up and leave
where I am and not worry if I have enough socks and whether I forgot my
toothbrush. I want to be organized and under control. Nothing can satisfy
me."
She
glanced at Burgess. "Does any of that make sense to you? Well, it doesn't
to me. I'm a bundle of conflicts. No wonder I can't even get married when it's
all set up. I have a love-hate feeling about marriage. I want it and I fear it,
at the same time. So I guess it's not surprising that I'm sitting here mourning
the marriage I didn't make. I really walked out on Darius at the altar. And I
shoved Nona into something she really didn't want."
She
shook her head. "You know, sometimes I even wrote poems in my diary. I
would tease Maresy Doats with them. Maresy is my friend who is a horse. Before
I met Seqiro. She always understood me. The way Seqiro does now. But still I
teased her."
288 CHAOS MODE
Colene
closed her eyes. She recited the poem from memory.
I'm really
a bug-eyed monster From outer space.
I can
tell
By the
way people look at me
That
wide-eyed wonder
That
such a creature could exist,
Let
alone talk to them.
But
there's something strange About the mirrors here—
All
they'll show me is a Brown-haired girl, Not too fat and not too thin, With
green eyes no bigger Than loneliness.
"My
eyes aren't actually green, in this life, of course, but in my fantasy realm
they are. In the ugly real world they're brown, but when I'm exotic they're
green. So if you ever see me with green eyes, you'll know I've crossed over.
With my loneliness."
She
laughed, verging on hysteria. "Do you want to know something funny,
Burgess? Last year, when I had been raped and was turning suicidal, I was voted
the happiest person in my class. That's how well I fooled everybody."
She
thought the floater was laughing, before remembering that he had no sense of
humor. He was going into another seizure!
She
grabbed on to him. "Easy, Burg, easy! You got through it before; this
one's bound to be easier. Just tide through, and the poison'll be gone."
Her words were more for herself than him; what counted for him was her presence
and her emotion. Whatever comfort and hope she
WEDDING 289
had,
she gave to him, spreading mental oil on the troubled waters of his malady.
Slowly,
it eased, and at last he settled again, his pain diminished. But Colene's pain
was increasing. Because more time had passed than she thought, and now the
wedding was beginning.
She was
at the limit of Seqiro's range. Most of his mental energy was devoted to the
wedding, to make sure that the groom and bride did not miss their cues. But
there was enough left to send Colene a picture, and snatches of sound. No
actual thought, but that didn't matter; the picture was enough.
There
was the church, nondenominational but still looking very churchly, with
stained-glass windows and pews and a chancel in front. There was an organ.
There were flowers. There was an audience: well-dressed people, looking sedate
but expectant. Her folks had set it up to be perfect, and the caterer had
really known its business. The whole thing had a preternatural familiarity,
giving her an overwhelming sense of deja vu. She had witnessed this scene
before!
Of
course she had! This was the wedding of her vision! Her nightmare—and now it
was happening, exactly as she had seen it. She had seen it coming.
The
music swelled. The Bride swept down the aisle, ethereally lovely in the gown
that had been made for Colene, and magically grown to fit the otfier woman.
Beside her was a man: Colene's father, impeccably garbed, looking proud. They
made a perfect father/daughter couple. Colene felt her face wet with tears, but
the vision did not blur. She was not seeing it with her own eyes.
"That
should have been me," she whispered brokenly. "So close, so close
..."
The
Bride progressed to the front. The view shifted, and now the audience was seen
from the front. There was Colene's mother, dabbing her face with a silk handkerchief.
Her father came to join her in the first pew, and took her hand. They looked so
much like the ideal parents. Most of their marriage might have been a shell,
and this
290 CHAOS MODE
was a
shell too, but it was a picture to remember. This was the way it should have
been, had there been reality beneath the shell. It was impossible to begrudge
them this image. It was about all they had.
Now the
scene was the Bride and Groom. Darius was the Groom, looking well groomed
(naturally!) and handsome. Nona was the Bride, fair in the sense of beauty,
dark in the sense of beauty, the loveliest possible creature. They made the
perfect couple. They stood before the minister, and the key words were spoken.
Colene
realized that Nona no longer looked like Colene. The illusion was gone. Of
course Nona could not have fooled Colene's folks about her identity; not during
the hour's ride in the car to Wichita Falls. The moment she opened her mouth,
they would have known. Even if Seqiro was able to translate, at that distance.
Because Nona was just plain different. So her folks knew, and accepted Nona, so
there was no need for illusion.
"Oh,
God, I can't stand it!" Colene cried, trying not to listen.
Nevertheless,
she heard Darius speak: "I do."
"I
did want to marry him! I did! Why did I throw it away?"
Nona
spoke: "I do."
"And
what is left for me now?" Colene sobbed.
The
picture came, relentlessly. Darius turning to face Nona. Nona lifting back her
veil. Colene jammed her eyes closed, but could not shut it out. Nona smiling.
They
kissed. There was the flash of a camera's bulb. It was done.
Colene
found herself hunched against Burgess, her hands grasping his contact points,
her head against her hands. Her hands were wet with her tears.
She had
done it for Burgess. To tide him through the reaction. She had given up her
important ceremony to save him. She had valued friendship more than experience.
That
was Burgess talking! "Burg, you're back!" she exclaimed. "You're
conscious!"
He was
conscious. He had been aware all along, but of
WEDDING 291
too low
a vitality to do more than focus on surviving. Now he was improved, though
still far from well.
"That
dolomite—it did have what you need. But also what you don't need. So it's no
good, but it gives us a clue. Is it the calcium or the magnesium you need—or
some associated trace element? I wish we had a safe way to tell."
Colene
thought about it, taking her mind off her own misery. "Maybe Amos would
know."
She
knew that her range was too short, but she tried it anyway. After all, when she
had sent her mind across the Virtual Mode, asking "Is anybody there?"
the mind predator had heard. So maybe, with a narrow focus, she could reach
him. Amos! Dolomite is halfway there. How do we find what counts?
There
was a silence for a moment. Then, faintly: Colene!
He had
heard her! Dolomite—good, bad. What next?
Idea.
So Amos
had been notified. Maybe he would have the answer. She relaxed.
Then
the wedding scene returned. Seqiro was still sending. She saw the wedding cake
her mother had labored over. The caterer could have provided a fancier one, but
her mother had wanted this aspect to be personal. She saw Nona's hand on the
knife, with Darius' hand on hers, giving her strength. They were still
following the ritual.
"If
only I could have done that!" Colene said, her tears resuming.
She
watched the continuing vision compulsively, as she might the funeral of a close
friend. It was so perfect, and so dreadful. Like her life. Every rime she came
close to happiness, she bypassed it in favor of dolor. It was her way.
They
even danced. Colene's folks had somehow managed to squeeze a bit of everything
in! That, too, was beautiful and horrible. Her man and her friend, so perfect.
There
was the sound of a car pulling in. That was
292 CHAOS MODE
Amos.
He walked directly to the tent. "Colene! How did you get back so
quickly?"
"I
never went," she said.
"Never
went! You're a mess! What happened?"
"Burgess
had a reaction, and I had to stay to tide him through. Nona went instead."
He
nodded. "That must have been a beautiful wedding."
"It
was. Seqiro showed me. I saw Nona marry Darius."
"That
was nice of her, considering her unfamiliarity with the ritual."
"Yeah,
sure." Colene hoped the irony came through.
"Fortunately
Texas is one of the states which allows marriage by proxy."
She
stared at him. "Proxy!"
He
laughed. "You sound as if you thought she could many him—when all the
papers were in your name. It was your marriage, of course, throughout. She was
merely your stand-in. An actress, really, going through the motions so that the
ceremony could be accomplished with appropriate flair. I'm sure she was a
picture to remember! Still, I can appreciate your disappointment at not being
there yourself."
"I
missed my own wedding!" Colene breathed.
"For
the most generous reason: to help your alien friend. You're a great girl,
Colene."
Colene
was awed by the realization. She knew about proxy marriage. She must have known
that that was what she was really asking Nona to do. And Nona had known, too.
That was why she had agreed. And why Colene's parents had gone along with it.
It was the only way to have the wedding performed on schedule, without
sacrificing Burgess. Colene had known—yet hidden that knowledge from herself.
She really was a creature of dolor!
"Now
let's see about Burgess. I got your message. I was amazed; I thought you were
sending all the way from Texas. Then I realized mat you would have been using
Seqiro to boost your signal. So I brought refined products: calcium supplement,
magnesium supplement. One of them should do it."
WEDDING 293
Booster
by Seqiro. Probably that had been the case. Even at the extreme of his range,
Seqiro was so much more powerful than she was that he could amplify her
thought, especially when it was narrowly focused.
Amos
held two packages. "Your call, Colene. Which one first?"
She was
still dazed by the revelation of her marriage. "What do they do?"
"In
simplistic terms, which may not be properly applicable to Burgess, calcium is
the stuff which makes our bones and teeth, while magnesium hardens them."
"Calcium is more common?" "Yes. Except in something like
dolomite." "So maybe it's the rarer element he's missing. Try
that." "Done." He opened the magnesium and took out a tiny
amount, which he set in a Petri dish he had brought. He put a hand on a contact
point. "Burgess, this is another try. We hope it's the right one. Take it
cautiously." He set it down by the floater's trunk.
The
trunk touched it. Burgess sucked in the powder. "Now we wait," Amos
said. "If he has an adverse reaction, we'll give him the other, quickly,
because that's likely to be the right one. With more of the right one, he
should be better able to handle the wrong one." "Yeah."
"A
penny for your thoughts, Colene." "I'm married. I really am married.
To Darius." "You really are, Colene. I realize that it doesn't seem
like it at the moment, considering what you were doing during the ceremony. But
that will pass. I wish you a long and happy relationship, wherever you may be.
You deserve it."
"No,
I don't. I'm depressive. I'm unclean." "Damn it, Colene, you aren't!
You're thinking of that rape, and it's just not so. It was those boys who—you
know, something strange happened yesterday. It was in the paper this morning.
Four boys turned themselves in for rape. Was that you?"
"Darius
and Seqiro did it." She smiled. "Not the rape.
294 CHAOS MODE
The mind.
They made the boys confess. They'd done it to other girls, so it will be one of
those other cases that comes to court. But we're responsible."
"I'm
glad to hear it. So any lingering problem you had with that can be ameliorated.
You were a victim, and despite the attitude of too many ignoramuses, it is not
a crime to be a victim. So enjoy your marriage, Colene; you have earned
it."
"Yeah,
maybe," she said, cheering.
"And
there was something else. Very strange."
"The
Sin Eater," she agreed. "Darius and Seqiro gave everyone in that slum
the same feelings Raff has. To show them what it's like."
His
mouth pursed appreciatively. "That should teach diem manners!"
"We
wanted to make Raff happy, but there was no way. So we made it even. And Darius
even got back at the punks who beat him up, by setting them against the Chain
Gang."
"Your
friends are amazing!"
"Yeah,"
she agreed, pleased. "They're great. All of them. Including Burgess,
here."
Amos
got up. "I have other business to attend to. But do let me know how this
works out."
"The
wedding night?"
"The
medication, you little tease! I want to know that this most remarkable of
creatures is well again. It has been the experience of my life, knowing him.
Knowing all of you."
"Don't
you want to be the first to kiss the bride?"
"Colene,
you sneak-kissed me twice, and I'm a married man. The school will think I'm
putting a move on—" He broke off. "That's all of the ceremony you can
have, isn't it? You sacrificed the rest. Yes, I'll kiss you, Colene. But don't
tell. Others would never understand."
"Others
don't matter."
He got
down beside her and kissed her lightly on the mouth. She felt the tenderness in
his mind. He understood
WEDDING 295
so
well, and he was genuinely happy for her. It was wonderful.
"Thanks,
Amos," she said faintly.
"You're
welcome, Mrs. Darius."
She
laughed. The universe was looking brighter. She could make it as Mrs. Darius.
She would succeed in marriage—or die trying. Ha-ha.
"You
will be reconsidering your status, in much the way paleontologists reconsidered
the Burgess Shale, and perhaps coming to similarly momentous revelations. I
wish you the best on the Virtual Mode, Colene."
"I
think I have the best already, Amos. I'm glad we stopped by here. It was good
to see you, and to get other things settled." That was the understatement
of the month.
Then
Burgess stirred.
"Oops—it's
a seizure," Amos said.
Colene
clapped both hands on contact points. "No it isn't!" she cried gladly.
"He's recovering! I can feel the strength surging through."
Yes,
that was what he needed. They had found the elixir of his health.
"That
was Burgess talking," she said. She squeezed the points. "Oh,
airfoot, it was worth it! You're cured!"
Burgess
sucked in air, smoothly. Colene let go, and he blasted air out below, lifting
smoothly from the ground for the first time since coming to Earth. Then he
settled, tired.
He
needed more magnesium.
They
put more out for him, not too much, lest he overdose. He took it in, and
rested, waiting for it to be digested.
"It
was worth it," Amos echoed, watching. "There should be enough
magnesium in that jar to hold him for years. If you ever stop by here again, be
sure to look me up." Then he left Colene to her reconsideration of her
status.
—
CHAPTER 14
PROBLEMS
N
ONA had
to admit that the odd Earth customs had their points. The ritual of the
wedding, with the fancy gown, and music, and cake, and dancing—that was nice.
It had been a genuinely moving occasion, despite the fact that she was only
playing a part. She had been standing in for Colene, the real bride. It was too
bad that Colene had had to miss her own ceremony, but at least she now had her
heart's desire: marriage to Darius.
Now they
were riding back to Colene's kingdom of Oklahoma, from the neighboring kingdom
of Texas, where proxy marriages were permitted to girls of fourteen. Colene's
parents had been very nice about both the wedding and the proxy aspect, thanks
in part to Seqiro's influence. But it was also because the parents had had
serious difficulties in their own marriage, and felt guilty because Colene had
suffered thereby, and were trying to make it up to her. This wedding was the
symbol of their makeup. In this, at least, they could give their daughter the
best. Then forever after they could remember that beautiful occasion, and
believe that everything had worked out for the best. Nona had lost her own
parents, as a result of the strife entailed in the changing of the animus to
anima on Oria. Actually they had not been her birth parents, because of a
PROBLEMS 297
ruse
intended to conceal Nona's nature as the nindi of the ninth. But they had been
the ones she had known for all of her life, and she loved them, and only magic
grief-healing had enabled her to carry through in the first days after the news
of their deaths. Gradually she was eliminating the magic and assuming more of
the grief herself; only when she could handle the whole of it would she be
emotionally stable in her natural state. Here on Earth, substituting for
Colene, she found herself warming to these parents, who were truly hurting, if
in a different way. So while Nona was a mere proxy for the wedding, there were
aspects of it that were meaningful for her personally.
She had
to admit, privately, that it had been fun kissing and dancing with Darius. He
was the kind of man she would like to have, at such time as she was ready to
have a man. So was Amos, Colene's science teacher. Neither was muscular or
physically prepossessing, but both had knowledge and special abilities, and a
keen sense of right and wrong. It was intellect and conscience that most truly
distinguished one man from another.
They
reached the thicket where Seqiro snoozed. The horse's mind remained attuned to
the two of them, so that they could converse and understand Colene's parents,
but he was otherwise at rest. Darius was about to get out to ride the horse
back, but Nona stopped him. "You have a wife to return to. I will go with Seqiro
tonight."
He
looked surprised. Then he nodded. Colene was now Old Enough, by the standard of
her culture.
So Nona
got out and joined the horse, and Darius remained in the car with the parents.
Nona watched the vehicle depart, then floated up to land on Seqiro's broad
back. She had been careful not to use her magic during the wedding; though the
people had been placed there by the caterer, they would have noticed something
that did not follow the normal rules of science. She had been similarly discreet
with Colene's parents. Only with Amos, at Colene's direction, had she
demonstrated her powers. And during the ceremony, using illusion to make
herself resemble Colene. Seqiro had sent the scene back to Colene with-
298 CHAOS MODE
out the
illusion, because Colene understood. But now, alone with Seqiro, she had no
need for concealment.
"I
wonder how Darius and Colene are doing?" she mused, at about the time the
two should be getting together. "No, don't spy on them, Seqiro! Leave them
their privacy. Spy out only one thing: how is Burgess doing?"
Burgess
is healing. They found the substance required. It is magnesium. Amos brought
enough of it to supply Burgess for as long as he needs.
"That
is a relief! Burgess is a nice creature, who would not have suffered if we had
not brought him to the Virtual Mode."
He
would have suffered death at the trunks of his former hive. The Virtual Mode
was a necessary rigor.
"That
is true. Still, I am glad he is better. It would have been awful if Colene had
made her sacrifice, only to lose him."
It was
pleasant, traveling with the horse. It reminded her of the time she had first
been with him, in her own Julia Mode, hiding from the despots. They had gone
under the water, with the help of her magic. But there was no need for that,
here; Seqiro's own magic sufficed to keep the natives incurious. So they
proceeded at a leisurely pace, chatting about inconsequentials. They paused to
eat, with Nona making him a fine bag of sweet horsefeed and a pail of cool
water. Then they resumed, and Nona slept as the horse made his way through the
night. This was the sort of life Nona was satisfied to maintain indefinitely:
just a girl and horse, crossing an odd land.
By now,
Darius and Colene must be indulging in their nuptial night. Colene had been so
eager for it, despite her youth, always frustrated by Darius' insistence that
she was too young by the standard of her culture. Now that same standard made
her Old Enough. Despite her disclaimer, Nona found herself to be almost
unbearably curious. The girl had, after all, despite her youth, had sexual
experience. Would that make a difference?
Nona
stifled her curiosity as long as she could, but it would not be denied.
"Seqiro, I know it is wrong, but—"
f
PROBLEMS 299
They
are not yet in their nuptial night. Colene's parents have arranged a room for
them for the night elsewhere in the town, but Colene will not leave Burgess
untended.
"Then
we must rejoin them after all. I had thought they would be with Burgess."
The
parents are not aware that anything except supplies is in the tent. They do not
understand why Colene delays, but I have helped them to be unconcerned.
So they
moved on at a faster pace, and approached the town. Colene, understanding that
they would join Burgess within an hour, finally agreed to go to what she called
the motel with Darius. The night was now half done.
Nona
and Seqiro reached the tent. Burgess was there, much improved. Nona got down
and touched a contact point.
At the
rate he was recovering, Burgess would be fit for the Virtual Mode again on the
next day. He was eager to end this delay, so that Colene and Darius could at
last reach the end of their long journey and be at peace.
Those
were Burgess' thoughts, all right. He was in no further trouble. Nona set up
her bed in the tent and lay down to sleep for the rest of the night, while
Seqiro grazed in the gully behind Colene's house. Though well fed on grain, the
horse still liked to do for himself, and he was careful not to leave droppings
where they would bother anyone. This, he knew, was the place where Colene had
once dreamed she might find a lost horse. That gave the region a certain
compatibility.
But
Nona did not sleep. Her curiosity about what did not concern her surged back.
Exactly what went on during a nuptial night? Eventually there would come the
time when Nona herself participated in one. She understood about sex, of
course, but was that all? What did such folk say to each other? Did they get the
sex out of the way early, or were they more leisurely about it? Or did they
keep doing it through the night, catching up on formerly suppressed desires?
Was each episode swift or slow?
She got
up and went to check on Burgess again, more
300 CHAOS MODE
to
distract herself than for concern for his health. She put a hand on a contact
point.
What
did two of the human persuasion do when united in a mating agreement? Would
that agreement alienate them from the hive? Would it change their personalities?
Would Colene no longer come to share thoughts with Burgess? The matter was
worrisome.
Nona
almost laughed. The floater was just as curious as she was!
That
did it. "Seqiro," she murmured, "give us the
scene."
She sat
beside Burgess as the scene formed in her mind, translating it for him. It
showed the room where Darius and Colene were. They were eating a snack. Behind
them a large bed remained undisturbed. They had not yet gotten to it. Nona felt
guilty for being relieved.
But how
could she see the scene with both of them in it? Seqiro could only animate the
pictures in people's minds; he did not do illusion the way Nona's people did.
This had to be what Darius saw, or what Colene saw, in which case the view
person would be missing from the image.
Then
the view shifted, and Nona saw the mirror. Darius had been gazing in the mirror
across the table, seeing the reflection of the two of them. Now he saw only
Colene.
They
continued their eating. This was not exactly what Nona had hoped to see. But
she schooled herself to guilty patience. They would surely get to it. Why had
they delayed so long already?
They
finished eating. Colene went to the lavatory and brushed her teeth. She changed
into a sheer nightie. She went to the bed. She looked almost unbearably cute.
Then Darius took his turn, taking a shower, emerging naked, drying, and going
to the bed. Nona's patience was finally to be rewarded.
"I
guess I'm Old Enough, now," Colene said almost challengingly.
"By
the standard of your culture," Darius agreed.
PROBLEMS 301
"So
this time when I come on to you, you aren't going to ignore me. You're really
going to do it."
"Yes."
He spoke calmly, but Nona could feel his surging desire. He had wanted this as
much as Colene had, and now at last they could have it,
"I
guess you think I've been stalling."
"There
is no need to rush you."
"It's
what I've always wanted from you. Full commitment at last."
"Yes.
There are no further barriers."
He
reached out a hand to touch her, under the sheet, expecting her to meet him
with an almost savage hunger. Instead, Colene stiffened visibly.
Darius
withdrew his hand. "Is something wrong?"
Colene
burst into tears.
Darius
was startled, as was Nona, sharing his vision and receiving his emotion. The
vision through his eyes blinked. What was the matter?
"Oh,
Darius, you're going to have to rape me."
"What?"
"I
just can't do it! I thought I could, and I really do want to, but I keep
remembering how it was with those four, and I just freeze up."
"But
they are being dealt with, now. They will pay for their crime against
you."
"They
can never pay enough!"
"And
you have been trying to seduce me all along," Darius said, perplexed.
"Always
before I knew you wouldn't do it," she said, the tears squeezing out of
her closed eyes. "I was baiting the bull, when the bull was corralled. Now
I know it's loose."
"Then
we must wait until you are ready. I did not understand." Nona felt his
terrible disappointment.
"No!
Do it now! We've got to do it on our wedding night. Everyone knows that. Just
rape me. I promise not to resist. I didn't before."
Even
Nona could see that this was just about as appetiz-
302 CHAOS MODE
ing as
a slab of wormy meat. What an attitude to bring to the nuptial night!
"No,"
Darius said with deep regret.
Colene
kicked off the sheet, pulled up her nightie to expose thighs, torso, and
breasts, and spread her arms and legs in the manner of a scarecrow. "Do
it, Darius! No resistance. This is as far as I can go."
"I
have desired you from the outset," Darius said carefully. "When you
first came to me, as I lay beaten on the ground. But I would not take you,
because you were not ready. I desired you as we came to know each other, and
you tempted me with your tight trousers—"
"Jeans."
"And
your sheer nightie. This nightie. I wanted you more than anything. But I did
not take you, because you asked me not to. I desired you when we were together
on Oria, and you asked me to take you, but then I knew that you were too young,
so I did not. I desire you now, more than ever, but—"
"Take
me! Take me!" Her eyes were closed, her teeth clenched, as if she were
expecting to be tortured,
"But
you are afraid. I will not do it when you fear it. Relax and sleep, Colene; I
will let you be."
Her
face twisted into the semblance of anger. "What is it—I'm inadequate? Not
enough body for you? Would you hold off if it were Nona?"
Nona
jumped.
Darius
took the taunting question seriously. "Yes. I would not do it with Nona,
because it is not her desire, and it is not your desire that I do it with
her."
Nona
relaxed. He had spoken the exact truth. But her respect for him was increasing,
because she knew the strength of his desire and the agony of his decision.
"You
didn't answer the right question," Colene complained. "Is my body too
immature for you? Not like Pussy?"
Pussy?
Nona wondered.
A
female feline of the DoOon Mode who tried to seduce Darius. He found her quite
interesting.
PROBLEMS 303
"A
car?" Nona asked.
A Null.
A human slave, called a feline, with a feline face, but in other respects an
extremely well-endowed human woman. The DoOons have many such slaves, with the
aspects of cats, dogs, horses, pigs—
"Pigs!"
The
Emperor's Nulls are pigs. They command great respect.
Nona
decided to let it pass, lest she miss the dialogue on which she was so guiltily
eavesdropping. Darius had tried to demur, but Colene insisted that he answer
the question of bodily endowment.
"You
are adequate," he said, with his precision. "In fact I like your
slender little body very well. But you must truly want the interaction."
"I
do want it! I just can't do it! Rape me, and maybe I'll loosen up. Just get me
past this hurdle, Darius."
"No."
"I'll
make you do it!" she cried. "Seqiro! Make him do it!"
No.
"Damn
it, whose horse are you, anyway?"
Darius
smiled grimly. "Seqiro loves you, Colene, as do I. He will never hurt you,
for the same reason I will not."
Colene
lay there crying, the picture of misery.
Darius
paused, then spoke. "I am going to touch you. I am going to bring you to
me. I am going to kiss you. I am going to hold you close. I am going to love
you. I am not going to coerce you into sexual expression. This is the way it
will be, until such time as you truly wish it otherwise."
She
remained frozen. Carefully he reached for her, putting his hands on her
shoulders. He brought down her nightie, so that it covered her body again. He
brought his body across and brought his head down to hers, kissing her. Then he
turned her to face him, and clasped her to him. He stroked her sodden hair, and
her back, gently.
"Oh,
Darius, I'm so ashamed!"
"No.
You have been hurt, and the hurt has not yet
304 CHAOS MODE
healed.
I did not properly understand, before. Now I do. We shall heal you, Colene. In
time. In time."
"In
time," she agreed, relaxing at last.
Nona
shook her head. "I did not know how bad it was. How she was hurting."
She did
not wish to share it.
"I
can heal a person physically, but emotional hurt is beyond my power. I can not
help her in this respect."
Neither
can I. f can only help her to block it out.
"Is
it this way for every girl who is raped?"
/ do
not know.
"It
must be, at least to some extent. Some rapes must be worse than others. Some
girls must be more sensitive. But it is a terrible thing, regardless."
Regardless,
the horse agreed.
Regardless,
Burgess agreed.
"But
we will all help her to recover, however we can."
There
was agreement from horse and floater. And, perhaps, Darius, whose
disappointment was second only to Colene's own.
Nona
returned to her bed. "Help me to sleep," she asked Seqiro. Then she
slept.
IN the
morning Burgess was so much improved as to be almost at full strength. Nona was
somewhat logy, having remained awake too late, to snoop on Colene. Yet she was
glad she had done it, though she had not learned what she expected. She had
discovered the girl's true weakness, so now knew what was needed. Colene needed
the support of the hive, in much the way Burgess did. She would have it.
Late in
the morning Colene's father drove his car to the motel to pick them up. Nona
cleaned up the tent, getting things organized so that they could travel again.
They all knew that Colene wanted to get on with the journey to Darius' home
Mode. Nona suspected that Colene would be better off with more delay, while she
worked out her scrambled feelings, but it was not Nona's province to make that
decision. They would go to Darius' Mode, and
PROBLEMS 305
then
see. Perhaps the others—Seqiro, Burgess, and Nona—would remain there for a
while, to be sure that all was in order, before deciding what to do.
Colene's
mother came back to the tent. "Nona—may I talk with you?" she asked
hesitantly.
"Of
course." What could the woman want?
"I
know you are not exactly what you seem. That none of you are exactly what you
seem. Not even Colene, now. But I believe you are good people."
"I
believe we are," Nona agreed cautiously.
"It
was a nice wedding."
"It
was very nice."
"We
really do want what is best for Colene. After she disappeared, before, we
realized how poorly we had served her. When my husband had an affair, it drove
me to drink. I just didn't think of the effect on Colene, to my shame. My
husband loves our daughter too. We were both blind to the effect on our child.
We resolved that if God should grant us another chance, we would do better.
Then Colene returned, with an older woman, and a strange story of a Virtual
Mode. We concluded that she had fallen under the influence of an evil cult, and
that the strange woman was preventing her from escaping it. We tried to save
her from that. Then she disappeared again, right before our eyes, and we
realized too late that she was involved in something beyond our understanding.
When we learned the story of the gangster and the little girl, we saw that
Colene had done something good. So we believed her, too late. We swore to God
that if we should ever have yet another chance, this time we would trust in our
daughter and do whatever she wished to be done. We swore to lead perfect lives
until we had our child back again. And we did so—and Colene did return
again."
The
woman stopped, overtaken by emotion. "You did what Colene wished,"
Nona agreed. This family had been dysfunctional; now it was trying so hard to
recover. Nona remembered again how her own family had been lost. She was still
using magic to stave off the horror of that.
"Now
our little girl is married, and she will go her way.
306 CHAOS MODE
AH
we—all we ask is that she visit us again, when she chooses. We want so much
to—"
Nona
came to an abrupt decision. "Let me tell you more about the Virtual
Mode," she said. "It is a way to cross over to other realities. Other
worlds. Darius lives on one; I live on another. Seqiro, the horse, lives on
another. Seqiro enables us to talk with each other, because I do not know your
language."
"The
horse?" the woman asked blankly.
Hello.
The
woman looked at Seqiro. He lifted his head to gaze back at her. He projected
acceptance.
"The
horse," she said, realizing it was true.
Nona
took her hand. "I will show you the Virtual Mode." She led the woman
through the anchor.
The
scene changed. The new scene was similar, but the nearby houses and yards were
subtly different.
"This
is not our town," the woman said, looking around.
"It
is the adjacent world. Very similar, but different. There are others; the
farther we go, the more different they become, until there is no similarity at
all. Some have strange animals, or strange machines. Some are dangerous. Some
have magic."
"Magic!"
Nona
decided not to confuse the woman with too much. "Some do. The rules change
a little with each Mode. Darius has a special kind of magic. He lives in a nice
world, and he wants Colene with him."
"He
does seem like a nice young man."
"He
is." After last night, Nona realized how much of an understatement that
was.
"He
seems to be upright."
"He
is absolutely upright. Colene could not be with a better man."
"I
am so glad to know that Colene is in good hands."
Nona
led the woman back out through the anchor. The
Earth
Mode reappeared. "So you see, Colene is making a
strange
journey, but she is with friends. I think she will be
happy
with Darius. Certainly she is happy with Seqiro."
PROBLEMS 307
"If
we can only see her once in a while, to know she is all right."
"She
surely will visit you again. If she doesn't, I will."
Now the
woman understood some of the significance of that promise. 'Thank you so much,
Nona." Then, dazed, she returned to the house.
The car
arrived. Darius and Colene walked to the tent, holding hands. He looked so
tall, and she so small, but they were married now. Nona resolved to say and
think nothing about what she had seen last night.
"Let's
go," Colene said briskly. "I'll say goodbye to my folks."
Nona
abolished the tent. She helped Darius put the harness back on Seqiro, and load
their gear. Burgess floated through the anchor, disappearing.
Colene
returned. "I promised your mother you would visit again," Nona said.
"I
will." Colene's eyes were wet. "I don't think I ever really knew my
folks, until now. They've been great."
They
moved on through. They were back traveling the Virtual Mode. It felt good.
TRAVELING
this segment of the Virtual Mode was easy, because the paved street remained.
Burgess had no trouble keeping the pace; this was ideal terrain for him.
They
came into a region of animals. The streets and moving vehicles remained, but
now the animals were dominant, with human beings serving them. "Watch out
for these," Colene warned. "They're telepathic. Like Seqiro. But I
don't think they can reach across Modes. So if we get attacked, we just need to
step on across. Quickly."
Indeed,
they saw dogs, cats, bears, and other creatures, of all sizes, moving around in
their Modes as if they were the proprietors. They felt the touches of the
animals' minds. Once Nona received an order: Stop. Come to me. Unable to
resist, she had stopped, turned, and walked toward the bear. Then she had
crossed the boundary, and the bear disappeared, and she was freed from the
compulsion.
308 CHAOS MODE
So it
was easy to escape, because of the narrowness of the slices of the worlds. But
not pleasant business. Because the bear had viewed her as food.
/ will
help you resist, the next time, Seqiro's thought
came.
'Thank
you. I don't know how to fight it, when its power bypasses my magic."
Darius
has learned to resist. He has been practicing. He has stood off two creatures
so far. Colene is making a similar effort. Perhaps you can learn to resist,
too.
"I
hope so," Nona said. "I'll try to fight the next one. Let me do it,
and rescue me only if I am in too much trouble."
"I'm
practicing," Colene said. "But I can't resist as well
as
Darius can, now."
"Burgess
has no trouble," Darius said. "These creatures can not touch his
alien mind."
"So
if we are even in doubt, follow Burgess," Nona said. The others agreed.
They
crossed a boundary—and there was a row of oxen to the side. What comes into
existence? an ox demanded.
Just
passing through, Seqiro replied.
Nona
felt a mind clamp down on her body. She saw Colene freeze just ahead of her.
Even Seqiro halted. Several of the creatures were doing it, overwhelming the
single horse.
Darius
fought to move. He half fell beside Burgess. One hand struggled to a contact
point. That was all he could
do.
Burgess
put his intrunk down to the ground. There were stones and sand there. He sucked
them up. He aimed his outtrunk. A rock shot out and struck an ox on the head,
between the horns. Then another rock flew, striking another. And a third.
Suddenly
Nona's mind was free. She leaped ahead, across the boundary. Colene was right
with her.
In a
moment all of them were across except Burgess. Then he too appeared.
There
were too many telepaths, Seqiro explained. /
PROBLEMS 309
could
not prevail against several. But they were unable to address Burgess. When he
shot stones at them, they concentrated on him, letting us go. But stilt they
could not stop him, without touching his contact points.
"It
is good to have you back with us," Nona told the floater as she touched a
contact point. He kept helping them in unexpected ways.
They
found a Mode without telepathic animals, where a river crossed to the side, and
made camp for the night. It was early evening, but they still needed to catch
up from the prior night.
Nona
and Colene went down to the river, careful to remain within the boundaries so
that they would not accidentally cross over to the Modes on either side. There
had been so many kinds of telepathic animals that it wasn't worth the risk.
"I
wonder whether there's a Mode with telepathic humans," Nona said musingly.
"Obviously humans can do it, because you are learning."
"I
don't want to see that Mode," Colene said. "The animals are bad
enough."
"Except
for the horses."
"The
horses are bad too, except for Seqiro. He had to leave his Mode, because he
wanted to think for himself. They tried to pen him in. We don't want to stop
there."
'There
should be no need to, with Burgess well."
"I
hope so." They stripped and waded into the water, which was cool but not
unbearably so. Seqiro had checked it for minds, and reported nothing inimical
or dangerous there.
They
scrubbed each other off, then emerged, refreshed. They stood by the bank,
letting themselves dry.
"About
last night," Colene said. "Thanks."
"I
don't mind watching Burgess."
"For
not mentioning my shame."
Nona
could find no answer to that.
They
returned to the camp, and the three males went down to wash, while Nona took
small parts of their supplies and expanded them into a good-sized meal for all.
310 CHAOS MODE
Originally
she had been concerned that such expansion, on the Virtual Mode, would be
ephemeral, but when she started with anchor material, it remained anchor
material, and was all right.
There
was the sound of splashing from the river. Burgess was shooting a steady stream
of water at Seqiro, hosing him down. "That looks like fun," Nona said
wistfully.
"Then
let's go down and enjoy it," Colene said. "We can take another bath
if we want to."
So they
put off their clothes again and ran down to the river. Soon they were in the
midst of a five-way splashing contest, screaming with the sheer fun of it.
When
they emerged the second time, Nona knew one thing: she did not want to see this
hive break up. She would not interfere with what Darius and Colene decided to
do, but she hoped that their time on the Virtual Mode was not soon to end. Yes.
Yes,
indeed. This was, taken as a whole, a good life. That was Burgess' thought.
Nona
started to make a separate tent for herself, but Colene stopped her. "We
can sleep together, as before. If I ever manage to get my act together, I don't
care who sees it."
"You
know, Seqiro could enable you to—" "But it wouldn't be real. I have
to do it myself. And I will. In time. Somehow. Like learning to resist the
tele-paths. Maybe if I can do one, I can do the other. I dreamed I could
multiply joy, a little. Just enough to make me good enough to marry Darius, in
his Mode. But that would be no good, if I couldn't give myself to him. So I'll
keep trying."
"It
does seem like a good approach," Nona agreed. Then she had a dazzling
thought. "Maybe you can, indeed!"
"What
do you mean? Sheer excitement's coming through."
"Colene,
at first you couldn't do telepathy, but now you
PROBLEMS 311
are
learning it, and getting better. Then you had a vision that I was in a wedding
witfi Darius—and later it happened. Maybe you had precognition!"
Astonished,
Colene considered the prospect. "I did see it coming, only I didn't truly
understand it. Like imperfect precog! And now I've dreamed I could learn joy.
Could it happen?"
"You
must try," Nona said. "Because if you could learn joy—"
"I'm
going to try!" Colene said. "I'm going to try everything! Maybe
something'll come true!"
"Surely
something will," Nona agreed.
So she
slept again by Darius' other side, with Burgess near, and Seqiro grazing
outside. Nona had finally gotten smart about that, and grown him a patch of hay
to chew on, so that he would not be diluting his substance with non-anchor Mode
material.
In the
morning, refreshed, they resumed travel. The paved streets became dirt roads,
and then open countryside. Slopes developed. They had to help Burgess with the
artificial paths again, but this was a practiced system now, and not much of an
inconvenience.
"Uh-oh,"
Colene said.
Nona
hoped it wasn't what she feared it was, but it was. The mind predator had found
Colene again. The girl was under siege, and they knew it would not relent until
they got off the Virtual Mode. What were they to do?
Colene,
dazed by the siege, began to babble, as she had before. But this time it was
worse. "I think I'll never lose the need, to cut myself and see me
bleed," she declaimed, holding out her arm as if offering it for the
knife.
She was
going into suicide mode!
My Mode
is close.
"But
you aren't welcome there," Nona protested.
Colene
must be saved.
Nona
had to agree. She had brought them to her own Mode when Colene had been under
siege before, though she would have preferred to avoid it. Then when Burgess
had suffered his malady, Colene had brought them to her
312 CHAOS MODE
Mode,
though she too would have preferred to avoid it. Now it was Seqiro's turn.
Yet in
each case, good things had come of those visits to their anchor Modes. Maybe
that would happen again.
They
put Colene on Burgess, again. Seqiro could have carried her far more readily,
but he could not shield her from the mind predator as effectively as Burgess
could. They moved as rapidly as they could toward the anchor, while Colene
hallucinated and cried out with her internal horrors. Sometimes she seemed
almost to make sense, but then would verge back into chaos.
"Nothing
would make me happier than if some big piece of the cosmos just came through
the ozone layer and just took me out. God, do I really want to live another
year? The snow is everywhere, and life isn't necessarily ail that exists.
"When
the happiness ends . . . there is life in death .. . and the happiness I feel
is the essence of that joy ..."
Nona
looked at Darius. Was Colene remembering their wedding night? Or was she into
some deeper misery?
"I
see a time when things weren't black or white or red and green but when they
were always gray ... I sit here and think about all the times that have been
and all the lost causes, and I wonder if any of it was ever worth it, and these
insights haunt my mind ... as I try to think back to the good times, and the
times when all things were good and there was no hate or frustration in the
world but I can't remember, when I can only remember now and now is the time
for all good men to come to the aid of our enemies—they should pick up guns and
kill innocent people to show the loyalty to the red, white, and blue and every
blessed child shall wave a flag to let the world know their confusion and when
they grow up their lives should end each time they pop a pill to forget the
latest problem and soon the nation's children will be grievers of Death and
ruin and we shall live long and prosper and father children who have no mothers
and they shall rock soulless babies to sleep and fate cuts the threads away and
I shall
PROBLEMS 313
find
the magic that will take me away from all the pain and I will remain forever in
a place not far from here and in this new existence I shall live ..."
Nona
hurt for her friend, unable to draw her out of her torment. They moved on as
rapidly as they could, hoping they would reach the anchor in time.
"And
the little boxes will clump together and gather into one giant big box, and
I'll be in it, and the lid will clamp down and I will suffocate and it will be
my coffin forever and ever amen ..."
We are
approaching my Mode, Seqiro thought. But there is danger here, too.
"We
must proceed carefully," Darius said, though Nona saw him wince as he
looked at Colene. He loved her, and wanted to get her away from her pain as
soon as possible. But they all knew that they could not allow Colene's pain to
make them blunder into worse trouble.
As they
came to it, they made a plan of approach. The anchor was in Seqiro's old stall,
which might be closed or otherwise occupied. It would be disaster to barge
through and discover another horse there. They would bounce off the other
animal, and have to retreat, but the horse would know that Seqiro was
returning.
He
could explore ahead, since he could cross Modes with his mind, unlike most of
his kind; he had practiced it, in anticipation of his tour on the Virtual Mode.
But the moment his mind touch encountered another horse, his presence and
identity would be known, and that would be similar mischief.
So they
would send another person across first. Nona agreed to do it, as she might be
able to extricate herself from a trap with magic. She would cross, look, and
cross back to make her report. Then they would know what they faced.
They
came to a region of paths and stalls. This was one of the adjacent Modes,
similar to Seqiro's but not identical. There were other horses there, but they
passed through as quickly and silently as they could, to arouse no commotion.
314 CHAOS MODE
Then
they were at the anchor. It was right at the entrance to a stall. The stall was
empty, in this Mode, but that did not mean that the anchor stall was empty.
Nona braced herself, and stepped through.
It was
empty. In fact it was barred. Its door would not open. If Seqiro entered, he
would be trapped.
She
returned to report. "Maybe I can get that door open before you go
through."
The
anchor is just outside the stall. I caught on to it with my head. I will need
to enter the stall, then turn and go out beside the anchor. I was trapped
before because of the closed gate. So that gate will have to be opened first.
Fortunately
there were no horses near. This entire wing seemed to be empty. She could work
on the gate without arousing any creatures.
"I
do not trust this," Darius said. "Is that wing normally empty?"
"No.
It is a confinement section, with difficult horses placed there. That was why I
was there. There are usually several scattered through it."
"That
suggests that they have something devious in mind," Darius said.
"They may be waiting for you to reappear, so as to trap you." This
seems likely.
"We
shall need to interfere with that trap. Let me go through, to see whether my
conjure magic works. If it does, we can escape readily enough."
Darius
went through, while Nona awaited nervously and Colene continued to groan
sporadically. Nona knew that they could not afford to delay long; the mind
predator seemed to be making faster progress against Colene this time, as if it
had started where it left off before.
Darius
returned. "My magic does not work," he reported grimly.
"Maybe
mine does," Nona said. "Let me check." She went through again,
and tried to levitate. She could not. She tried to make fire, but could not.
She tried every-
PROBLEMS 315
thing,
and nothing worked. Not even illusion. She felt naked.
She
returned to deliver the bad news: she had no special powers in the Horse Mode.
"Then
we must do it without magic," Darius decided. "I will explore the
region, to find any other horse there, and determine the nature of the trap. I
think I can resist a single horse long enough to get back to the anchor."
You
can. You have done well, and the others will not be expecting resistance.
Nona
hated to offer objections, but had to. "If Darius discovers the trap, and
we avoid, it, will they follow where we go, and catch us anyway?"
"There
is a wild region nearby, where horses seldom go. If I went there and shut down
my mind, they would have difficulty locating me."
"So
we could go there and hide, until the mind predator lost interest again,"
Nona said, satisfied. "Then we could return to the Virtual Mode and move
quickly to your home Mode, Darius."
"That
seems feasible," Darius agreed. He went through again, for a longer
exploration.
This
time he returned with a more complete report. 'The entire wing is enclosed and
locked," he said. "Each stall, and a stout fence around the whole. So
if you thought you were free because you got out of the stall, you would be
deceived. There is a mare in the farthest stall, but she seems listless; she
did not react to my presence at all, and there was no mind attack. I think they
have made this a solid prison, but I can use a tool to pry open the gates. They
may think you will return alone, so have no such resource."
This
seems likely. The mare—no reaction to you at all?
"None.
She seems mindless."
/ fear
she is. Now I appreciate the nature of the trap. They know I could not allow a
mind-blasted mare to suffer.
"Mind-blasted?"
Nona asked, not liking this.
When a
horse goes truly wrong, it may be mentally de-
316 CHAOS MODE
stroyed.
This can be done if two or more horses focus on it, breaking down its defense
and destroying its mind. It can also happen when stallions fight. Such a
creature is better off dead.
'That's
horrible!" Nona agreed. "But why is her presence a trap? If you can't
do anything about it?"
/ would
kill her, to end her suffering. Then the others would feel the death, and know
that I had returned.
"Kill
her! Is there no alternative?"
Sometimes
a mind can be rebuilt. But there has to be a very specific template. Then the
new mind honors that template, and the horse is in effect a new creature. The
old mind can not be recovered, I could try that, but I have no template.
Nona
remembered something. "Maresy!" she exclaimed. "Doesn't Colene
have an imaginary horse named that?"
She
does. But such a horse never existed, so could not be remade,
"But
it might be made new! Colene could give you all the particulars of her perfect
horse!"
Darius
shook his head. "Colene is under siege herself."
"But
she won't be, the moment we pass through that anchor. I know she could do this,
and would be glad to. We can save that mare, so she won't have to be killed,
and there will be no alarm."
Darius
considered. 'This makes sense to me."
It may
be possible.
"Then
let's try it! Darius, you open that gate, then we'll go through and tend to
that mare, and then we'll go out to the wild region to hide. With luck, the
other horses will never know, until we are gone."
They
will realize when minions come to feed the mare, and she is gone.
"And
then it will be difficult to return to the anchor," Darius said. "But
we face extreme alternatives, and this seems best. Colene is imaginative, and
may be able to find a way back, when we are ready."
PROBLEMS 337
"Should
we leave our supplies here?" Nona asked. "Just in case there is
trouble?"
"There
could be trouble here" Darius said. "A person of this Mode could pass
by and steal our things."
Nona
appreciated the point. They would be safer keeping their supplies with them.
Then
she thought of another problem. "The other horses will know Seqiro's back
the moment he uses his telepathy, even if no one actually sees us. So he should
go mute, mentally."
But I
must use my power to help the mare.
"If
you get identified, you will not have time to help the mare," she said
firmly. "You will have to wait until you are hidden in the wild country to
tend to her. One of us can lead the mare there, silently."
You
could not do so. There must be a mental command.
"I
could not. Darius could not. But Colene could. She has some telepathy, probably
too little to alert the horses, but enough to reach the mare for simple
commands."
He
nodded. You do remind me of her at times. You are thinking of the things she
would think of,
"Thank
you," Nona said, trying not to blush at the compliment.
So
Darius went through again, to fix the gate, and then the others, and they were
through the anchor at last. Nona was relieved to see Colene relax, and then
stir; her mind had not yet succumbed.
But she
could not allow anyone to relax. There were essential things to be done.
"Colene," she said. "You must help us. We are in the Horse
Mode—" She broke off, realizing that with Seqiro mentally mute, her words
were not being translated. This was a complication she had overlooked.
The
girl looked at her blankly, then at Seqiro. She said something indecipherable.
"Colene!"
Nona said. "Use your own telepathy!" She pointed to her own head.
"Think at me!"
"What's
wrong?" Colene asked, projecting her thought.
318 CHAOS MODE
Nona
focused her thoughts as well as she could, summarizing the situation. Horse
Mode. Unfriendly horses. Mental silence. Need to hide. Mind-blasted mare.
In a
moment Colene understood. "Thanks, Nona. I'll take it from here. You stay
with the boys."
^CHAPTER
15
HORSE
f OLENE
found herself in a horse stall, with Nona talking at her. But the words weren't
making sense. Was this another bad vision sponsored by the mind predator, with
Nona about to turn into a horse and claim to be Seqiro? Or something more
believable but insidious? Such as offering to enter into a mutual suicide pact?
Colene had been trying to fight, but the battle had exhausted her, and she knew
she couldn't last much longer.
Then
Nona pointed to her head, and Colene realized that she wanted the telepathy.
Where was Seqiro? Had something happened to him? If so, Colene hoped that this
was a dream, so she could move on to the next horror, and the horse would be safe.
So she used her mind. What's wrong?
Then
she got it in a fast summary, and made sense of the situation. This was
reality. They had brought her to Seqiro's Mode, where Seqiro's enemies held
sway, so Seqiro didn't dare use his telepathy lest it give away his presence
here. Colene understood that problem; she had been stunned by another horse
here before. They had to hide from the horses here, until the mind predator
departed the Virtual Mode.
But
what was this about a mind-blasted mare? Quickly Colene got the details from
Nona. It seemed a lot like
320 CHAOS MODE
what
the mind predator was trying to do to Colene herself. Oh, yes, she would help
the mare!
She
went to the mare. The horse was in a pitiful state. Her dark coat was soiled,
her mane tangled, and her eyes were dull. Every so often she kicked randomly at
the side of her stall, and sometimes she banged her head into it. Streaks of
blood on her neck suggested prior hangings.
As
Colene tried to enter the stall, the mare went wild. She threw herself from
side to side, and foam appeared at her mouth. Her eyes were wide and her ears
flat back. She was a fair-sized mare, about sixteen hands, much larger than
Colene, but she was terrified.
Yet
there was no evidence of any injury that was not self-inflicted. No one had
been physically brutalizing this horse. She was merely in a nearly mindless
state, afraid of any other creature. She was not rational. Her awareness was
chaos.
She
had, in effect, been raped. Savagely.
Colene
could relate well enough to that. She started at the beginning. You are Maresy,
she thought firmly. Because nothing remained of the mare's former personality;
she was a frightened foal in a grown body. Like a crashed computer, she had to
be restructured, given new organization. She had to be given a new identity,
and trained in its ways. Colene had borrowed the name of her imaginary horse
from one in an old popular song dating from her grandparents' days she
remembered as Latnzy Divy, which seemed like gibberish until pronounced
carefully: "Mares eat oats and does eat oats and little lambs eat ivy, and
a kid'll eat ivy too. Wouldn't you?" Later she had learned that the name
was spelled Marezy, but in her mind it remained with the s. She couldn't be responsible
for the spelling of prior ages.
The
mare had no other source of information. She became Maresy.
/ am
your friend.
The
mare calmed. She was no longer being threatened.
Follow
me.
Colene
opened the stall and Maresy stepped out. Colene
I,
HORSE 321
walked
toward the other members of the hive. She kept her communications brief,
because she wasn't sure that the other horses couldn't tune in on her thoughts
as well as Seqiro's. She hoped that her telepathic power was so small that it was
beneath the threshold of background mental noise, and therefore invisible at a
distance. But she was taking no unnecessary chances. Ignore all others; just
stay with me.
Darius
nodded approvingly as Colene and Maresy joined them. He had opened the outer
gate. But before they left, they had to change clothing. Nona was returning
with an armful of it; Seqiro must have explained the need to her before they
went through the anchor.
They
changed, donning loincloths, capes, sandals, and beanie-type hats with tassels.
Colene made sure the tassels fell in the right direction; they were an
indication of status, and an error could lead to immediate trouble. Such as
proclaiming sexual interest in a stranger one happened to pass on a path.
Darius and Nona seemed dubious about the clothing, but Colene donned hers,
assuring them that this was in order. So they followed her example.
They
walked out and away from the prison complex. There were fields of growing
grain, with human laborers. They wore similar costumes, vaguely resembling
Chinese coolies. Seqiro, Maresy, and the three humans rated only cursory
glances; obviously the horses were taking them on some errand. Now if no horse
sought mind contact, they might be home free. For a while.
Who?
The
query was imperative, and not friendly. Definitely not Seqiro. Trouble.
Colene
caught Darius' eye. She pointed to her head. He nodded, pointing to his own; he
had received it too. It was probably a routine query because someone didn't
know what the party was doing in this vicinity.
They
didn't answer. They walked rapidly for the edge of the cultivated region. With
luck there would not be any quick follow-up, and they could reach the wild
section before the pursuit began. As Colene understood it, to exert
322 CHAOS MODE
control
a horse had either to know the mind of a person or another horse, or know that
person's location. In the wild place, location would be concealed, and the
enemy horses would not be able to get a proper fix on strange minds. As long as
Seqiro kept mental silence, he remained anonymous, and perhaps almost
invisible, in that sense.
Who?
This time the query was more insistent.
Still
they did not answer. It was better to be anonymous than known, however
suspicious that might be. A horse was not supposed to mess with the minions of
another horse, and as long as they remained anonymous, they could be taken for
such minions.
Then a
man appeared at the edge of the field. His tassel was in an unfamiliar
position. Colene suspected that he was a minion of the querying horse. He would
surely recognize Maresy by sight, and realize that the trap had sprung. He had
to be stopped before he made that connection and relayed it mentally to his
master.
Colene
ran to Burgess, who was floating along between the two horses, shielded from
general view by their bodies. She clapped a hand on a contact point.
"Burg! Can you shoot that far? Take that man out!"
Burgess
lifted his trunk, aimed it, settled to the ground for better purchase, and let
fly a single small stone. He had certainly recovered; the stone arced way over
the field, and struck the man on the head. He fell.
"Great
shot, airhead!" she exclaimed. On Shale the humans had been as effective
as the floaters, throwing stones, but this was a shot whose range and accuracy
was beyond the power of most humans. Burgess was healthier than normal, thanks
to the magnesium. Maybe he was hinging on too much of it, and should ease off.
But not right now!
They
broke into a run, because now it was obvious that they were not a routine party
on routine business. But the workers in the field ignored them; they must be
under the direction of horses who weren't paying attention, or perhaps were
working on their own, unmonitored.
They
left the field and came to a path leading into a
HORSE 323
river
valley. Seqiro abruptly cut away from this and moved across a sloping fallow
field toward a forested mountain. He knew where to go, and did not need to use
his mind to show them.
But
here Burgess had trouble. The slope and roughness were too great. They had to
pause while Nona expanded the artificial path—and Nona spread her hands
helplessly. Oh, no! Her magic didn't work here!
Seqiro
cut to the side, finding a contour. Darius took a stick and bashed down weeds
and bushes. They made a crude path for Burgess, and the floater was able to use
it, slowly.
Men
appeared in the field behind. These were definitely minions of a dominant
horse. They were armed with clubs and knives and were approaching purposefully.
It would not be possible to outrun those, with Burgess so slow, and a beaten
path left behind.
Then
she had a brighter notion. A river! If there were a river anywhere near,
Burgess could float on that, leaving no trail.
Colene
went to Seqiro. She signaled him to bring his head down. She put her head to
his. River! she thought, in what she hoped was a limited, noninterceptable
signal. Burgess—river,
Seqiro's
ears perked. He led die way down into a winding gully. Burgess was able to
follow, because of the downslope. At the base was a section of exposed rock,
also suitable for the floater. Finally it led to a river, large enough to have
a smooth surface. Ideal!
Burgess
floated out on the water. The rest of diem made their way along the bank. They
melted into the increasingly rugged land. Now it would be difficult indeed for
the minions of the horses to locate them.
Indeed,
the pursuit seemed to peter out. There was no longer a path to follow, and
Burgess might as well have ceased to exist, because the horses would have no
idea he could use water as a highway. They had escaped.
But
they were hardly out of trouble. They had to maintain mental silence, so
couldn't hold much of a dialogue.
324 CHAOS MODE
Nona
could not do magic, so they had to use their own supplies and forage from the
land. Getting back to the anchor would be a formidable problem, because the
horses would certainly be waiting in ambush there.
Colene
knew that the others had come here because of the mind predator's attack on
her. They had taken an awful risk. So now she had to do her part.
Maresy
had faithfully followed her, ignoring the others. Seqiro had known they
couldn't leave the mare in the prison stall. It was time to restore her to a
fully functional state.
While
the others set up camp, Colene tackled the mare. Maresy was a good deal smaller
than Seqiro, but still a pretty fine solid horse with good muscle under her
matted coat. Her shoulder was four inches above the top of Colene's head, but
not above Nona's. Colene put her head up against Maresy's head, so as to fire
short-range thoughts into it. She had a mental picture of those thoughts
passing through the mare's head and being largely stifled there, like the sound
of a gun with a silencer, so that only unrecognizable fragments radiated out
for enemy horses to intercept. Maybe that wasn't accurate, but it allowed her
to use her telepathy to train the mare.
"Maresy.
I am your friend Colene. I will not be with you long, but I will help you to be
a full horse again. You have been badly hurt in your mind, but you can
recover." If only Colene could recover from her own hurt, and be a true
woman to Darius! "First I will check you and brush you and see to your
injuries. You must not hurt yourself anymore. You must take care of yourself,
and not be afraid."
Colene
got a brush, and worked on Maresy's coat as she continued talking. Her mental
contact with the horse was getting easier, because she was becoming more
familiar with Maresy, and because Maresy's own telepathy was beginning to
manifest. Colene thought of the computer analogy, again: a blank disk and blank
memory did nothing, but a little bit of programming could enable them to start
to help themselves. The power was there, it just had to be
HORSE 325
structured.
Colene did not encourage the mare to use her mind that way, because that could
alert the bad horses. She just wanted the mare to listen to her thoughts and
understand. What she hoped to do was shape Maresy into the horse Colene had
dreamed of, before she met Seqiro, because she knew more about that horse than
any other. Maresy was, above all, a competent, self-assured, sensible, nice
creature, very good at listening. Just the way Seqiro had turned out to be.
"Let
me tell you about Maresy, before you lost your memory," Colene said,
working a burr out of the horse's mane. "I am an introspective sort. I
like to express my thoughts. But sometimes I have trouble writing fast enough
to keep my thoughts going in a straight line. I have so much verbal information
hit me at once that I can't write or type fast enough to get it out. And
talking just does not work. I can't talk as fast as I think, but I speak faster
than I write. Speaking and talking are different. Talking is two-way; speaking
is one-way. Your thoughts get interrupted by the other person when you talk. I
get the greatest ideas when I'm just lying there on my bed nearly asleep,
letting my thoughts wander. They wander where they will. My thoughts are like
my hair: they have a mind of their own. I've created whole worlds, then lost
the greatest part of my creations when I fell asleep. My shoddy memory just
can't get it right the next day.
"But
with Maresy it was always all right. Because Maresy heard and understood
everything I said, and didn't interrupt. Or forget. Just as you are doing now.
She was the ideal listener. Sometimes I did write to her, too, and she never
chided me for being slow. It was all right with her how much time I took.
"You
know, I used to be shy. Then I went from shy to downright antisocial. No one
knew, because I pretended I wasn't. I was always pretty good at fooling people,
especially myself. Of course it happened gradually, so I could adjust. I know
I'm not truly antisocial because I'm lonely as all hell. If I was antisociety I
wouldn't give a flying dump about the human race. I do give. So I filled the
void
326 CHAOS MODE
with a
nonhuman pen pal, and that was Maresy. I could tell her anything, and she never
told anyone else. She always kept my secrets. I discovered I could not relate
to your average run-of-the-mill teenagers. Because when I became a teenager I
was neither average nor run-of-the-mill. I was the classic description of still
waters run deep. School became for me the root of all evil. I tried to forget
it existed. But it was hard to do when I did homework for four hours every
night. I never could just skim a chapter then say I'd read it. I was honest to
a fault. Honest to the point of not having FUN like a normal person. It got
painful to hear other kids laugh. It was more painful to see them kiss. The
only romance I had was in romance novels, which I read by the truckload. That
was my life: school-work ('cuz nothing else about the school experience applied
to me) and romance novels. I love fantasy, but it's not plentiful in small-town
libraries. Romance, on the other hand, was available from anywhere from a
nickel to fifty cents at just about any yard sale in the state. I would buy
like twenty or thirty at a time, read them, and trade them. I've read so many
formula stories I can't keep most of them straight.
"Of
course some of what I read did stand out. There was this hard-core erotic novel
an old man in a hospital showed me. Now I know I didn't understand it at all.
If I had, I would have known better than to let four horny freaks get me alone
in an apartment. And I couldn't tell anyone about that, either. Except Maresy.
Life sucks. I hate school. I love to learn. This is no paradox. So I learned
that honesty doesn't necessarily pay, and I learned to fool everyone. The funny
thing was, I became the life of the crowd. A popular girl. A socialite. But it
was all a lie, and I was slicing my wrists in the toilet. Just never had the
nerve to go all the way and die. But Maresy understood. She understood how life
is one long unending irony. Irony is what I live on. It keeps me going. If you
can't see the humor in your existence any more, at least look for the irony. As
far as I was concerned, for a while, it was reason enough to stay alive, just
to be able to thumb my nose at
HORSE 327
existence.
By the way, Alive and Exist are as much alike as Talk and Speak.
"You
know, I came to feel that ninety per cent of my classmates were plastic.
Shallow as a credit card. I discovered that I'm not a herd animal, and never
will be. I also discovered that the key to sanity is to take the entire world
with a grain of salt. To have a finely tuned sense of the ridiculous. I'm
looking for other people who realize that the universe is one big
contradiction, and the only true purpose to life is to smell the flowers and
hug your friends. Life can be beautiful if you let it. There was this song by
Nirvana, 'It Smells Like Teen Spirit.' I really liked it, even if the lyrics
were senseless. I understand the song got its name from a deodorant commercial,
with three or four young women wearing bright but nonthreatening clothing with
conservative but bouncy shoulder-length hair, glistening smiles, and peppy
attitudes. They liked this deodorant because it smelled like teen spirit. The
first time I saw that ad I thought, 'This is the stupidest most patronizing
thing to grace the small screen I've ever had the misfortune to see.' I don't
think girls like that exist. They're like every suburban mother's fantasy
child. Besides, teen spirit, if condensed down to a scent, wouldn't be peppy,
light, bright, and fresh, it'd be dark, angry, clashing, reckless, sexual,
wild—despair and exultation in a bottle."
Colene
paused in her monologue. She had gotten the coat nicely brushed out, and the
mane untangled. Maresy was looking good, now: a mare whose brown hair matched
Colene's, just as Seqiro's did. "Am I boring you? You don't really have to
listen to all this, you know. You just have to pick up the way you are from my
mind: the perfect mare. I've just come out of a siege with a mind predator, and
all this horror of my past life has really been freshened up, because that's
what the predator was doing to make me capitulate. But it really helps to have
you listen, Maresy."
Maresy
turned her head to nuzzle Colene's cheek. / understand.
Colene
hugged her around the neck. "You're back,
328 CHAOS MODE
Maresy.
Just like before. Only now there are others. They are all your friends."
She
looked around. More time had passed than she had thought. The camp had been
made, and the others were eating. "Come on, Maresy. I never introduced you
to them."
She did
so. Now Maresy did not shy away at all; she was poised and friendly. Darius
patted her, and she did not flinch; Nona offered her a carrot, and she ate it;
Burgess lifted a trunk, and she touched it with her nose. Then, surprised, she
lowered her nose to touch one of his contact
points.
The
others stared. Maresy was establishing contact with the floater, his way!
Then
she met Seqiro. They sniffed noses. Then Seqiro sent a single, amazed thought
to Colene: She has been restored! Without the intercession of another horse.
"All
I did was talk to her," Colene said. "And share my feelings. Just as
I used to do with Maresy of Earth." But she realized it had been more than
that. She had projected her mind to the mare, in a continuing stream, and the
mare had accepted it and been defined by it. Now Maresy was the horse Colene had
loved, because Colene had defined her. It had been, in its way, an act of
creation.
Colene
went to have her supper. Nona gave Maresy a dish of feed, and she ate it
without concern. Then they turned in for the night, this time with two horses
eating hay nearby. Seqiro seemed interested in Maresy, perhaps still amazed
that Colene had been able to handle the restoration alone. It had been some
time since he had had a companion of his own species, and perhaps he had missed
it. Colene remembered that horses generally preferred to associate with their
own kind, if they had a choice. Had she been depriving Seqiro, all this time?
It was
good to be alive, even with mental silence and a language barrier. Colene had
thought that it was Seqiro's mental ambience that made all the difference, but
now it was absent, and they were still the hive. With another member, for a
while. What more could she ask for?
HORSE 329
She
reached out to touch Darius' shoulder. She knew what more. But she just wasn't
ready for that, yet.
IN the
morning the news was bad. Darius had been exploring, and had discovered that a
formidable party of minions was approaching the wild country. It might be
several hundred. He put his head next to Colene's, so that she could read his
image directly, and she saw that it was so. The horse masters intended to
locate the fugitives physically, so that mental silence would not allow them to
hide any more.
What
were they to do? Colene knew that this was a dire strait, because the horses
meant only mischief to Seqiro. But there had to be some way out. Colene was
normally suicidal, but now she was perversely positive.
She put
her head next to Seqiro's, using her limited-range telepathy instead of his.
"Why do they hate you? Aside from your independence?"
I am a
potential rival for leadership, because of my size and power of mind. I do not
seek it, but the lead stallion does not believe that,
She
knew that Seqiro just wanted to explore and learn new things, and have a sweet
human girl or two to dote on him without being coerced. He had found exactly
that on the Virtual Mode. After seeing the ways of power in the Julia Mode, she
had a better understanding. Small, greedy minds did seek power, and believed
others were out to take it from them. So this was in that fashion an ordinary
situation.
But in
that case, all they had to do was satisfy the horses that Seqiro was not going
to stay, just as Nona had not stayed in her Mode. "Can you tell mem you're
going away again?"
They
would believe it a ruse, or that I would return with formidable creatures from
other Modes.
Um,
yes; paranoia had an evil rationalization for everything, and would not be
persuaded of innocence. But something else bothered her. "There must be
many rivals
330 CHAOS MODE
for
power; why should they be so hot after just this one, Seqiro?"
There
are not many. I am the only one who matches Koturo in mind. If he eliminates
me, there will be no real threat to his dominance for some time.
Koturo.
The lead stallion. That figured. But still she wasn't satisfied. "Do the
other horses support him? I mean, don't they have some choice in the matter?
Maybe some of them would like you better."
Many
would. They would not ordinarily support him in this. But he trumped up a
charge against me, so I was confined with my minions while they investigated
it. It was a false charge, as they must have discovered, but in the interim I
escaped to the Virtual Mode with you.
Okay.
So now there should be no charge against him. Yet they were acting as if there
were. So a new, worse charge must have been trumped up in his absence.
"And I know what that is!" Colene exclaimed. "Maresy! They will
be saying that you were the one who mind-blasted her!"
Surely
so. It is a serious crime, equivalent to your rape. "But you didn't do it!
She wasn't there when I came to you, and you couldn't have done it after you
went on the Virtual Mode."
True.
But Koturo will have claimed I did, and his minions will support him.
"Then
you can deny it, and your minions will support you! That would make it your
word against his. What happens then?"
Then it
would be a matter of challenge. But my minions will not support me; they were
removed when I was confined. That is how / was confined, because only human
minions can operate the mechanisms of the stalls.
"This
challenge," she persisted. "Exactly what happens there?"
When
there is a question of honor between two horses, they may be obliged to settle
it by mental and physical combat. The presumption is that the one who has the
right of the case will prevail.
HORSE 331
Colene
bore down. "Exactly what kind of combat? I mean, do you try to mind-blast
each other? In which case, why bother with anything physical?"
One
horse can not readily destroy the mind of another. It is easier to defend than
to attack, in this respect. So the minions attack the opponent's minions
physically, supported by their master, and the minions that prevail then attack
the other horse physically. If they can injure him sufficiently, or if he is
distracted by having to use his mind to try to wrest control of them from the
other horse, he may be laid open to an effective mind attack.
"Like
chess!" she said. "The king never leaves the board, but if he is
trapped, the game is lost. Only the lesser pieces get wiped out. They count
only for what they can do to protect their king."
Your
mind indicates a game situation which is parallel to the case here. The losing
horse is seldom killed; his mind is restored on another pattern, one which will
not be a problem to the winner.
Colene
had one more concern. "Seqiro, if you had to fight—could you do it? I
mean, not get skunked?"
Ordinarily
I could.
"Okay.
So all we need to do is prove to the other horses that you have a case, and
then you can challenge Koturo. That should set the matter to rights."
But I
lack my minions, and without them I would not be able to prevail.
"Your
old minions, maybe. But you have new ones. The four of us. Do we qualify?"
Seqiro
was startled. You are not minions. You are free companions.
Cofene
went to Darius and touched heads. "Would you mind fighting for Seqiro? If
it got us out of this mess?"
I am
not a fighter, he thought in reply. But I see little hope in the present situation.
If this offers a better chance, I would do it.
She
went to Nona with die same query. If I had my magic—
"I
wish I knew why you don't. I think it was Seqiro's
332 CHAOS MODE
ambience
that brought your magic to Earth, where magic never worked before. So you
should have magic here. But I can't argue with the fact that you don't. So it's
just you, yourself. Would you fight for Seqiro?"
/ would
But I fear I would be a liability. I am no good with physical weapons, and I
lack the fighting spirit you
have.
"With
Seqiro in your mind, you'll have it."
Nona
nodded. / will do it.
Colene
went to Burgess, grabbing a contact point and describing the situation as well
as she could, not sure he could grasp it.
For
answer, he fired a stone into a tree, hard.
She
returned to Seqiro. "We will be your minions. How do we proceed?"
One of
you must go to establish that the charge is in question, and that I wish to
challenge. But it means laying one's whole mind open to the horses, and this is
not comfortable.
"I'll
go! It's my idea."
Then
you must wear your tassel so. He made a mental picture for her to read, showing
the position.
Colene
explained to the others. Then she set her tassel and marched toward the enemy.
The
moment she was alone, she began to doubt. She knew how strong the mental powers
of the horses were, and she knew how many guilty little secrets she had hidden
in the cluttered recesses of her mind. Was she doing the right thing, or merely
bringing disaster upon them all?
But
what else was there to do? They would not be able to hide for long, or to
resist after they were located. So she went on, trying to quell her
nervousness. It couldn't be worse than the mind predator, after all.
In due
course she encountered the first servant. The net was closing in; she had acted
none too soon. The man took one look at her tassel, and signaled her to follow
him. Soon she stood before a handsome mare. Who?
"I
am Colene. Seqiro's minion. I know he did not blast
HORSE 333
that
mare. He was with me on the Virtual Mode when that happened." As far as
she knew, that was true.
She
felt the mare's mind exploring hers. Language was no problem to the horses;
they read thoughts directly. Truth was no problem either; a horse could read a
falsehood as readily as a truth, and know it for what it was. Evidently a horse
could lie, and make his minions lie, but Seqiro was not protecting her from
this verification by the mare. She hoped that her evidence was enough to satisfy
this horse that Seqiro had a case.
You
have some telepathy of your own! the mare thought, surprised.
"I
learned it from Seqiro. Does it matter?"
You
restored the mare! Seqiro could not have taught you that.
"I
guess maybe I have some talents of my own, and I'm gradually learning how to
use them. I do love horses, and maybe that helped. But you can read my mind.
You can see that—"
Seqiro
has a case. We support his right to challenge Koturo.
Just
like that! But of course with telepathic communication, it could be very fast.
The
mare turned and walked away. So did the nearby minions.
"But
what am I supposed to do?" Colene demanded.
There
was no answer. So she shrugged and went back the way she had come.
When
she reached Seqiro, and told him what had happened, there was a sudden change.
His mind came back, encompassing hers, and all of them were able to understand
each other again. We must go to the field, he thought.
"But
aren't there arrangements to make, or anything?" Colene asked. "I
mean, they just walked away."
My
right to challenge was granted. They read your mind and saw that my case was
valid.
"You
mean we don't have to hide anymore?" Nona asked, relieved.
They
reviewed it as they struck camp and walked back
334 CHAOS MODE
down
the river to the field that would be the challenge site. A challenge was fair;
there would be one horse and four minions on each side, and no other horse or
minions would interfere. The winner would have the right of the case. The loser
would in effect be dead. The winner would take over the minions of the
loser—all of them, not just those participating in the challenge. And that
would be it. The only problem was mat the minions could get themselves killed
during the combat. Even if Seqiro won, one or more members of the hive might be
dead. Colene had found a way out of their predicament, but the cost might be
suicidally high. Which was perhaps par for her course. The details were
arranged by the horses, so rapidly that there was no delay. The combat would
occur on the following morning, and probably be done within an hour. Meanwhile,
they were free; no one would molest them. It was all very civilized, in a
medieval way. They even had the use of several stalls for the night, and could
fetch water from a nearby cistern.
Colene
expected to be too uptight to eat supper, but she wasn't; Seqiro made her mind
relax. She feared she would be unable to sleep, but she was slumbering before
she knew it. Seqiro again. The funny thing was that he did not seem concerned
about the event of the morrow. They did not discuss it, or review tactics or
anything; they just ignored it. Seqiro and Maresy ambled out to the field to
graze.
Then,
in her hidden (she hoped) thought, she realized what Seqiro was doing: he was
concealing the devious advantages his minions might have. They knew that Colene
had some telepathy, but it was so slight compared to that of any of the horses
that they surely discounted it. Yet it might enable her to do something on her
own, without having to draw from Seqiro's power. Nona—was it possible that she
could find a bit of her magic, when she needed it? That might help a lot.
Darius—he was now able to resist the mind control of a horse, which meant that
Seqiro might not have to protect him that way. Colene might resist some too,
though she had lost her chance to practice
HORSE 335
when
the mind predator attacked. And Burgess was almost immune anyway. So they just
might represent a formidable array of minions, freeing Seqiro to act with force
where he needed to. They might have a hidden advantage. She hoped.
WHEN
she woke, well rested, daylight was firm and servants were arriving in
clusters. There were no horses, apart from Seqiro and Maresy—because, Colene
realized, they did not need to witness it visually. They could receive it from
their minions, sent here for the purpose. They could also tune in on the
battling minds of the two participating horses.
There
was time for a quick breakfast. Then they took the field without ceremony. It
was large, and they were not restricted to it; once commenced, the battle could
continue anywhere. But it would not be stopped until there was a victor. It
seemed pointless to waste one's energy fleeing, because that would just give
the advantage to the pursuit. There was an array of weapons roughly defining
the main arena: clubs, knives, pitchforks, crowbars, and stones. It was
apparent that no one would be caught weaponless; there would always be another
lying nearby.
Nona gazed
at the scene, and shuddered. She had no confidence in her ability to wield any
of those implements in attack or defense. Colene marked where the knives were;
she wanted to be sure to have one at all times, because she was not afraid to
use it. The gravity of the situation was clarifying; this was indeed a deadly
serious encounter. Yet could it be worse than getting surrounded and attacked
in the forest? Better to have a fighting chance, literally.
Koturo
appeared, marching in from a farther pasture. He was a large horse, similar to
Seqiro, with a black hide speckled with white patches. He looked mean. He was
flanked by four minions: two men and two women. They looked mean too. The five
of them took a stance in the center of the field, weaponless, about fifty feet
away. It was possible that they could conceal weapons under their
336 CHAOS MODE
capes,
but Colene doubted it; the horses had control, and any cheating would be noted.
Seqiro
stood in the center of his force, facing the other stallion. Nona and Colene
were to his right, opposite the two enemy women. Darius and Burgess were to his
left, facing the two men. The horses would have gotten Burgess' nature and
capabilities from Colene's mind; evidently they felt he was a fair substitute for
a human man. There were no rocks in the center, so he was weaponless too. But
how was he going to get direction from Seqiro? A person had to touch a contact
point to communicate with him, and then it could seem indirect, because of
Burgess' fuzzy notion of self.
The
four enemy minions reached up and turned their tassels to combat position.
Seqiro's three humans did the same, acting on a nudge from the horse. The
battle was on.
Neither
horse moved. Instead the minions moved. One man kept his place, while the other
ran to the side toward the weapons. The women did the same, one standing and
watching Nona and Colene while the other went for weapons.
Nona
gave a savage cry and charged the standing woman. Colene realized that Seqiro
was directing her. But Colene herself felt nothing. Not even a mental
suggestion.
She
glanced across at the men. Darius was standing guard while Burgess floated
toward a region of stones. Seeing that, the standing man was starting to
advance to intercept the floater, and Darius was starting to intercept
the
man.
Suddenly
Colene put it together: all Koturo's minions were under his mental control,
acting in concert. Some were watching the opposition, while others were
fetching weapons. It made sense. But only one was under Seqiro's control: Nona,
who needed it most. Burgess was independent, because neither horse could
control him. Darius and Colene were free, because they could be trusted to use
their own initiative. Thus Seqiro could concentrate his power more effectively.
Because his minions served him
HORSE 337
willingly,
while Koturo's minions could not be trusted on their own.
Even as
she realized this, Colene was launching herself at the woman going for the
weapons. A weapon was too great an advantage; the forces had to stay even, at
least until her own side could get the advantage.
The
woman, seeing her, ran. But Colene had gotten up speed, and gained on her. As
the woman bent to sweep up a club, Colene tackled her. They fell among the
clubs in a tangle of limbs.
The
woman was no patsy. She rolled over, wrestling Colene down with superhuman
strength. The horse was doing that—and Colene lacked that support. She realized
that this was because it was going to Nona, so she could try to overcome her minionette,
but this left Colene in a bad position. Already she was on her back, pinned at
the throat while the woman reached for a club. Why did Seqiro think she could
handle this tigress on her own?
Because
of her own little bit of telepathy. And her suicidal nature.
Colene
went to it. She clapped both her hands on the woman's arm, wrenching it up. It
was like moving a branch from a tree, but she did succeed in getting the hand
up across her chin as she twisted her neck. Then, quickly, she snapped her head
around and bit the hand, hard.
The
woman didn't even react. She continued to grasp for a club with her free hand.
Koturo had blocked off her pain! She probably didn't even realize what Colene
was doing.
So
Colene chomped down again, as hard as she could. And a third time, gnawing at
that hand. She felt gristle and tasted blood as the woman finally got the club
and brought it about.
Colene's
teeth had taken their toll. The woman's hand -was no longer able to maintain
its purchase, not because of lack of will or strength, but because the tendons
had been chewed and the blood made Colene's face and neck slippery. Colene
wrenched her neck free and grabbed for the club. They rolled over, as the woman
tried to grasp and
338 CHAOS MODE
hold
Colene with her injured hand. The thing about pain was that it warned a person
not only of danger, but that an appendage was not up to snuff. This woman still
didn't know that her hand wasn't working at a hundred per cent. The club came
up. That could still finish Colene, even if ineffectively swung. So she focused
all her mental energy at the woman and thought: drop it!
The
hand opened, letting the club drop. The woman had taken it for a command from
her master, and obeyed, though Colene's own thought could hardly have had
strength enough to do it. Score one for surprise.
They
rolled again, as the woman grasped for another club. Now they were in a region
of knives. The woman reached for one with her injured hand, failed to catch it
properly, and for the first time actually looked at her hand. Now she—and her
master—realized what had happened. She paused for just a moment.
Colene
grabbed a knife, whipped it up, and stabbed it at the woman's face. To her
amazement, she scored. The point of the knife plunged into the woman's mouth
and through to her throat, inside.
Then
Colene realized that Seqiro had lent her a moment's force, guiding her hand
with unerring power in that instant of advantage. The woman was dead, or soon
would be.
Colene
scrambled up, grabbed another knife, and ran back to the knot of bodies that
represented Nona and her minionette. They were at an impasse, each controlled
by a horse, their special powers canceling each other out. In an ordinary
contest, the stronger horse would eventually enable his minions to prevail. But
this one wasn't ordinary. Colene did not hesitate. She came up behind the enemy
woman and stabbed for her neck. But the woman twisted aside with an awareness
that could only have been that of the horse, and Colene's thrust caught Nona's
shoulder. Nona did not react; Seqiro had blocked off her pain. But Colene,
horrified, jerked the knife back—and again struck with awesome speed and
precision, slicing the point across the other woman's throat. Blood poured out,
and the
HORSE 339
woman
lost concentration. Colene used her knee to shove the body to the side, and
reached out to help Nona. "I'm so sorry—"
But
this was not the time for that. Nona was injured, her cape soaked with fresh
blood, and needed healing—and there was only one place for it. She could heal
herself in the Virtual Mode, where her magic worked. Where she would be safe.
So Colene led Nona away from the battle, to the stalls, where the anchor was.
No one interfered; this was all part of the battle.
But
Nona herself protested. "You can't leave the others," she gasped,
spitting out a bit of reddish froth. The stab must have punctured a lung.
"You have to help them. I can make my own way."
Colene
knew she was right. The stab was bad, but she was able to walk, and could
probably manage to cover the distance before losing too much blood. Triage: she
was one of the walking wounded. But others might be killed, if Colene did not
get back into the fray immediately. "Go heal yourself—and if we don't make
it, go home."
Nona
nodded. Then Colene turned and ran back to rejoin the battle.
She saw
the two enemy women lying where they had been downed. What a vicious fighter
Colene had turned out to be, with her favored weapon and Seqiro's power to
guide her at key moments! She knew she should be appalled and sickened, but
right now she was on a suicidal high. A berserker, heedless of the carnage.
The
males were still battling. Burgess had reached the stones, but the minion had
reached Burgess, and was tipping him over. Burgess weighed about four hundred
pounds, but the man heaved with superhuman strength, and the floater went over
on his top. For the first time she saw his underside, with the gills waving
like fine foliage. The man used stones to prop Burgess upside down, then
snatched up two clubs and headed back to join the other minion. It was about to
be two against one, with the two armed and the one unarmed. That made sense;
the man probably didn't know how to kill Burgess quickly, so
340 CHAOS MODE
saved
time by taking him out of circulation while he went after the more dangerous
one. Burgess' mental independence had proved to be no advantage. The enemy
horse had figured out how to handle the alien creature.
But
Colene was charging across the field while she observed. She would not let
Darius fight alone!
Then
she felt a nudge in her mind. Just enough to signal her the way Seqiro wanted
her to go. Not toward Darius. Toward Burgess.
But
Darius could be killed in the seconds she took to try to help Burgess!
Yet
despite that, she yielded to the judgment of the horse, and swerved to go to
Burgess. She had to trust Seqiro to know his tactical situation best. The two
men closed in on Darius, the one tossing a club to the other.
Then
the men hesitated. Colene felt the periphery of a terrible mental battle. The
two horses were struggling for mental control of the two minions. Koturo had
the advantage, because they were his minions, but Seqiro was able to reduce
their efficiency so that they staggered and fell before straightening out and
stalking Darius. Darius, however, was free to move at full speed. He could
disarm one, or run for his own weapon.
But
Darius did not. He too staggered and fell. Koturo was trying to take over his
body. Then he stood straight, flinging out his arms in a gesture of defiance.
He had blocked the enemy horse's attack! Which meant the home team had taken
the advantage, because Koturo was struggling to control three men, while Seqiro
could focus on two.
Colene
reached Burgess. He was in a sad state, with his trunks flattened under his own
weight, his contact points jamming into the turf, and his eye stalks retracted.
She swept out the stones propping him, then bent at one side, grasped two
contact points, and heaved. He was four times her weight, but Seqiro gave her a
flash of strength, and the floater went up and over. He landed with a muffled
whomp—because he was frantically pumping air as he came down, cushioning the
shock.
HORSE 341
Colene
grabbed on to two more contact points. "Pump rocks, Burg! We need
you!"
The
floater extended an eye stalk. Colene saw with horror that the other two had
been squashed, and were useless. The third was operative—but the eyeball was
unable to travel to its end. He was blind.
"I'll
be your eyes!" Colene cried. She focused on the three men, who were doing
an odd dance: Darius was unarmed and fast, the other two armed and slow. Darius
could avoid them, but could not disarm one without getting smashed by the
other. It was a standoff, for the moment. "Can you see the targets?"
No.
Colene's mental picture was fuzzy for him, so that he could not distinguish one
vague shape from another.
"Then
let me call out the shots, like a cannon with a surveyed site," she said.
There was a large artillery base near where she lived, so she had picked up a
bit about what the big guns did and how they oriented. "Just get these
straight: range and direction. Fire where I tell you. But first go to the side for
ammunition."
Burgess
pumped more air, and lurched to the side, finding the rocks. His two trunks
seemed to be functioning, if slightly squashed. He sucked up a rock and fired
it out. It struck the ground not far away, and in the wrong direction.
"Next
shot," Colene said. "Quarter turn to the right, and twice as
far."
The
next rock fell near the three men. It was working!
"Next
shot: just a bit farther, just a bit left."
The
third rock struck one of the minions on the leg. He did not react; his pain had
been blocked. That was fine with Colene. She didn't want him hurting, she
wanted him incapacitated or dead. With no pain, he would not take evasive
action. "Next shot: same direction, little bit higher."
The
next rock missed, because the man had moved. But it was right where it
belonged.
"Hold
it, now," Colene said. "Fire when I tell you." She watched the
men move. When one minion started to go back to the key spot, Colene called the
shot. "Now."
342 CHAOS MODE
The
rock struck the minion in the head. The man went down, unconscious. Great!
Now
Koturo recognized the threat. The remaining minion broke away from Darius and
ran toward Burgess, dodging. He would be almost impossible to hit.
But
Darius was chasing him. In a moment the two men were locked in hand-to-hand
combat, fighting for the club. A rock could hit either one, so was too risky.
Colene
thought of something else. "Eighth turn to the right. Double distance.
Fire."
The
rock sailed out—and just missed the enemy stallion. The pieces were putting the
king in check.
Now
Koturo moved. He started toward Burgess. The horse might weigh a ton,
literally; he could trample Burgess in short order.
Bur
Seqiro also moved, to intercept the enemy stallion. It was going to come to direct
physical combat between them.
Colene
pondered her course, quickly. With the two horses together, stones were too
risky. Darius remained locked with the other minion. But Colene was free.
"Stay
here, Burg. You're out of it, for now." She let go of his contact points
and stood.
She
grabbed another knife and ran for the horses. No mind interfered with hers. She
saw Seqiro and Koturo squaring off, turning to face each other.
Then
the two horses squealed and reared up, striking at each other with their
forehooves. Two hooves met with a thud; another struck a shoulder, bashing the
flesh so hard that a wide gash opened. Colene wasn't even sure which horse was
hurt; the two were moving so quickly despite their size that her eye hadn't
quite caught the skin color.
It
looked like an even battle. All the minions except Colene had been neutralized,
one way or another, and she was physically and mentally insignificant. But she
was not about to leave the outcome to chance.
She
came up to the horses. Each stood higher than her head normally, and when they
reared they were twice as high. But she never paused. As the two reared again,
she
HORSE 343
ran in
under Koturo and stabbed into his lower belly with her knife, driving it in
with both hands.
Suddenly
the terrible force of Koturo's mind smashed into her mind. Colene reeled back,
falling, helpless. She was done for, she knew. As she hit the ground, she felt
the sledgehammer blow of a killing strike. Then mental fireworks radiated out,
and something struck the ground beside her. She waited for death, helpless to
move. She had done what she could, and it hadn't been enough.
Hands
came down to touch her. It was a man. She knew she was part of the spoils of
the victor; now she would be raped and killed. It hardly seemed to matter. But
she forced her eyes open. She wanted at least to see who did it.
It was
Darius! He was kneeling beside her, feeling her body for breaks. Could they
have won?
Darius
helped her sit up. Dazedly she gazed at the scene.
The
body beside her was that of Koturo. His belly was gouting gore, but he was
oblivious; he was unconscious. Seqiro stood nearby, breathing hard. The victor.
"You
distracted Koturo," Darius said. "He stunned you—and in that instant
of his distraction, Seqiro blasted his mind. Seqiro was waiting for that key
mistake, knowing what you would do on your own."
"Gee,"
she said, able to think of nothing more cogent.
Then
Darius kissed her. She kissed him back, so glad for his presence and his love.
Then she passed out.
WHEN
she woke, it was a new day. She realized that Seqiro had put her to sleep, and
kept her asleep, so that she could recover from the mental bolt she had
received, unprotected. It seemed that only that little bit of mental resistance
she had practiced, a shadow of what Darius had managed, had saved her from
destruction. Koturo had swatted her as he might a fly—but what would have
blasted a normal minion had not quite finished her. The horse had used enough
of his power to leave him open for
344 CHAOS MODE
Seqiro's
timed, savage counterstrike, and that had done it. She had indeed made it
possible, in her suicidal fashion.
Nona
had taken Burgess to the Virtual Mode and healed them both there. Burgess now
had all three eye stalks back in good working order, and Nona's lung and
shoulder were whole. Seqiro had a bad gash on his shoulder, but that too would
heal soon enough. He had won his case, and there was now no charge against him;
indeed, he was in a position to assume the leadership of the local equine
community. Koturo's minions had become his.
But
Seqiro did not want to be a leader. He wanted to return to the Virtual Mode
with the hive. So he was assigning the minions to Maresy, who would now have a
good life as a restored horse.
But
Colene, suicidal even in her caring, had to raise a point. "Seqiro, you
know you aren't in trouble here, any more. You can stay and not be hassled, and
have a good life. Are you sure you want to risk the Virtual Mode again, where
you could get killed or stuck in some foreign Mode with poor grazing and no
horses with your type of mind?"
On the
Virtual Mode I have you.
That
was hard to disparage, for a number of reasons. But she tried. "You know
I'm headed to Darius' Mode, to be his love mistress, the moment I can get over
my ludicrous fear of sex. There's just not a whole lot to interest you there,
Seqiro."
I could
go with Nona.
"And
she would be good for you, too," Colene agreed. "Your mind and her
magic could go far. I would be horribly jealous. But she won't stay on the
Virtual Mode forever either. Neither will Burgess, I think. While here you have
Maresy. You have learned the emotions and concerns of free human beings, and
Maresy is now patterned after my favorite horse, before I met you. There's a
lot of me in her, now. And you could breed with her, if you wanted. So you
could sort of have me and the good life here, without risk. And if we kept the
Virtual Mode open, I could come and visit you regularly."
Seqiro
considered. Maresy, nearby, raised her head to
HORSE 345
gaze at
them. Colene knew the mare wanted Seqiro to stay, for she too now understood
the human way as well as she understood the equine way. She too loved Seqiro,
as Colene did, but with the additional quality of sexual awareness for a
stallion of her kind. Maresy, now well, was a fine figure of a female horse,
worth a stallion's attention.
/ would
like that, Seqiro admitted. But I want to be with you more.
That
was it. The hard decision had been made, and Colene had done her duty by giving
him the chance to seek his own life. She hugged him.
Then
she went to hug Maresy. "What I said to him goes for you too. I will come
to visit you. Maybe we all will. We will know the route."
Thank
you, Colene. I love you.
Surely
true, because she was what she was. But Maresy could not travel the Virtual
Mode. Not without extreme hassle and danger that would not be worth it.
Now at
last Colene unwound enough to assess her own feelings. What had she done? She
had butchered two women and stabbed the guts of a horse! What kind of a freak
was she?
But
Darius cut her off with another thought: "How is it diat you can fight
like that, and not tolerate loving sexual expression?"
Colene's
jaw dropped. She knew it sounded like an ugly taunt, but knew also that it was
valid. Surely she could get over her hang-up about the rape, if she truly tried
to. She would have to think about it, and come to terms with herself.
Meanwhile, her horror of her own actions had been countered; she couldn't feel
properly sick about it until she knew how she felt about the rest. Darius had
thrown a block into her horror.
And
maybe Seqiro was shoring up her mental balance, too, so that she would not go
plunging off the deep end quite yet. Being in the ambience of his mind was like
coming into the wonderful warmth of a house, after braving the wintry storm
outside. The storm was still there, but
346 CHAOS MODE
it no
longer had the power to hurt. Telepathy made all the difference.
That
brought her another realization. "Nona! Your magic—could it have worked on
Earth because Seqiro connected us to the Virtual Mode, where your magic
remained? And Darius could start to do some of his magic, for the same reason?"
"But
our magic does not work, here," Nona reminded her.
"Because
this is home to Seqiro. He's not extending any part of his awareness through
the anchor. But if he did—"
Startled,
Seqiro extended his mind.
"Now
try your magic," Colene said.
Nona
rose up in the air. She flew to the side. A pink cloud appeared over her head,
shaping itself into a parasol. A fireball burst in the air to the side.
"It's back!"
Darius
brought out the icon of himself. He moved it— and suddenly he was across the
field.
"We
could have had the magic—if we had realized," Colene said. "But I
guess it worked out okay anyway. We were lucky."
They
agreed that they had been lucky. Perhaps not all of their magic would work in
each Mode, but there should be enough to add considerably to their safety and
comfort. They would be sure to have all their assets with them, when they came
to Darius' anchor. Nona could join them there with her magic intact.
Buoyed
by the discovery, they went to the anchor. Maresy saw them off, sadly. The
others stepped through, disappearing. Colene, the last, gave a weak wave to
Maresy. Then, with tears in her eyes she stepped through herself.
And the
mind predator clamped down on her mind. She screamed as she was drawn
helplessly into that dread maw.
In a
moment she was out; Darius had simply picked her up and carried her back
through the anchor. Now they had a formidable new problem. Instead of
departing, the predator had remained to catch her immediately. There was no
HORSE 347
certainty
that a longer wait would be effective. Colene could no longer travel the
Virtual Mode.
/ will
free my anchor, Seqiro thought. That will disrupt the old Virtual Mode and form
a new one. It will take the predator some time to reorient. By then you can be
at Darius' Mode, and safe.
Colene
knew it was true. It was the practical thing to do. Yet she protested.
"But I'll lose you!" she wailed.
He did
not answer. There was no need. Colene herself had just presented the case for
him to remain here with Maresy. Now he had a compelling extra reason to do it.
She could not turn this down. The alternative was to remain here and let the
others travel, and that would cost her everything she wanted from the Virtual
Mode. It wasn't that being here with Maresy would be bad, but that Darius had
to return to his Mode, to be the Cyng of Hlahtar, so she would lose him.
She had
a choice between her man and her horse. She knew what that meant. The greater
good for the hive lay in accepting the horse's offer. They would lose magic in
other anchor Modes, but they weren't planning to go to any except Darius' Mode.
So maybe it didn't make a lot of difference.
Colene
wept. But all her grief could not change the awful nature of the choice.
She did
what she had to do. She finned her resolve and bid farewell to Seqiro. Then she
turned to Darius. "Do it." Darius carried her back onto the Virtual
Mode, while Seqiro stood at the stall. Then, as the mind predator clamped down,
Seqiro vacated his anchor. "But I'll still visit you!" Colene cried
as the predator was yanked away from her mind. "Your Mode will remain. It
just won't be an anchor Mode. We can cross it for ten feet! And maybe later you
can latch on again, and make a new anchor, and we'll all be together
again!" She knew she was babbling, but she couldn't help it. Yes.
Then
his thought faded, for the realities were whirling. It would require a search
to locate the Horse Mode, but
348 CHAOS MODE
she
would make that search. She just couldn't give Seqiro up forever.
The
whirling stopped. They had a new anchor. Someone from another Mode had latched
on in the moment the opportunity had come. There would be a new person, animal,
or thing to get acquainted with. Someone who was desperate to travel the
Virtual Mode.
The
outline of a palatial chamber formed. Within it stood three human figures with
the faces of cats. One was robustly masculine; one was lusciously feminine; the
third was neuter.
"Oh,
no!" Colene cried. For she recognized them. These were the three feline
Nulls who had served Darius in the DoOon Mode: Tom, Pussy, and Cat. Now,
obviously, they would be serving the evil Emperor Ddwng, who wanted to get
Darius' Chip so he could use it to take over all the alternate Modes. The three
of them, cloned from a single zygote, were the new anchor figures.
Before,
Colene had tricked the Emperor into vacating his anchor, by having Seqiro send
him a forceful thought to that effect. But this time Seqiro was not here.
There
was going to be hell to pay.
AUTHOR'S
NOTE
NT O,
we surely have not seen the last of Seqiro. By the ineluctable logic of this
series, one major character is lost at the end of each novel, and a new anchor
is introduced. The choices are becoming more difficult. But Colene simply will
not accept the loss of Seqiro for long. She's a pretty feisty girl who doesn't
necessarily settle for what is destined. We shall see.
As I
completed this novel, writing the chapter titled "Horse," I suffered
something devastatingly relevant. My daughter's horse Sky Blue died. Penny
bought her in the spring of 1978, a registered hackney mare, a former harness
racer, then twenty years old. She was black, with two low white socks on her
hind legs. She was a small horse, just fourteen hands high, but healthy. It was
the happiest day of Penny's childhood, and Blue was the ideal horse for her:
well trained, obliging, and old enough to be philosophical about things. Blue's
former owner had been ten when she acquired the horse, and now at fifteen was
passing Blue along to the next ten-year-old girl. As I liked to put it, Blue's
business was raising girls, teaching them what they needed to know in life. So
Penny learned to ride, to care for a horse, and know the special type of
companionship a good horse represents. We hoped Blue would live for at least
five more years, but she lived for almost fourteen, being a scant thirty-four
when she died on the third day of 1992.
Blue
was Penny's horse, but I was the one who fed her. Penny grew up and went to
college and became an adult,